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Bad Movie Tuesday: Two-Headed Shark Attack

February 21, 2012

They Asylum has jumped the shark by making too many crappy shark movies. The films used to create a feeding frenzy in the deep waters known as the blogosphere. Now you need to take a Jules Verne type adventure to read anything about the bad films.

Two-Headed Shark Attack is purposefully bad. That is why it is not worth watching. It may seem odd to tackle the intricacies of a two-headed shark movie. However, the actors know they are saying bad dialogue. The writers knew the dialogue was horrible. The producers gave the film a six-day shooting schedule…..It all smooshes into a boring film. A film that is only watchable if you you are doing something else and vacuuming at the same time.

If you look at The Asylums breakout hit Megashark Vs. Giant Octopus the movie seems to be taking itself seriously. The actors play everything straight-laced and nobody seems to be acting like they are in a terrible film. The movie is horrible genius.

The production company Asylum has made 100 bad films in the last 15 years. With the notoriety their product has become sub par. Now a days they are celebrating making bad films. Before Two-Headed they showed a video of all the bad movies they’ve made. They are patting themselves on the back and that is not a good thing. They’ve become a self-aware (wink wink) company that no longer tries to be creative. When this man is hilariously bicycle kicking the piranhas he is not smiling at the cameras.

The Asylum has hit a bottleneck. They saturated the market with pre made bad products. Their movies are no longer talked about. The Scope has shrunk. They no longer look to push the creative boundaries of sharks eating planes mid-air.

There will be no Mega Shark infographics for this film.

The other movies (Megashark, Mega Piranha, Crocosaurus) had a wow factor that made them inherently watchable. You watched them to see something unexpectedly hilarious. Now, they bask in the badness which makes it predictable.

The best horrible movies are films that the producers think are good. They feature directors who believe in their horrible film. The Room, Troll 2, Bucky Larson and The Change Up are bad because people thought they were good.

People made this to be bad. They failed by not trying hard enough. They say two heads are better than one….Not in this case.

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