Movies, Films & Flix Roundtable: Premium Rush

Mark: JGL and Michael Shannon star in a movie about a bike messenger who is hunted by a really angry guy. Add Nu Metal and bike stunts and you have…..a movie that I still cannot believe exists.

Ham Sandwich: The extreme life of a bike messenger in NYC….followed by the extreme life of the hot dog food cart and sky scraper window washer

Jay: It’s like Quicksilver meets the Transporter, starring Kevin Statham a.k.a. JGL.

John: Okay, what on Earth did I just see.  Fine!  I’ll watch it.  I’ll probably even enjoy it.  But make no mistake this will be a bad movie and, clearly, indicates JGL’s (or JGL’s agent’s) first serious lapse in judgment.  Levitt has been getting great, serious roles and even some lighter-hearted sincere ones as well.  Were it not for Christopher Nolan’s grab bag of preferred and re-used actors, I’d worry that this could cause a serious hick-up in JGL’s career. I mean, when this was in pre-production what was the role being cast?  22-year-old bike messenger with a dim future?  And his agent jumped on this?  Sounds like somebody owed somebody a favor.

……Now that the critical rant is over, I really do think this will be some mindless fun to watch.

Mark: I’m thinking it will be Cellular on bicycles or Timeline without time travel.

John: Cellular with considerably less muscle mass between the pro- and antagonists. Timeline without time travel is really just Paul Walker yelling with a sword in his hand

Mark: I just watched this trailer again and the thought “rush” did not come into my mind. These are three thoughts that did.

1. If Michael Shannon stops me then threatens my family I’m going to give him my backpack.

2. There seems to be a lot of CGI in a movie about bicycles.

3. I think JGL said the line “when somebody hits you…you hit back.”

Sweet Sugar: This has to be some kind of joke. Why watch this when i could watch Pacific Blue reruns on TBS?  It seems like it should have been kids movie along the lines of Surf Ninjas with a Third Rock from the Sun aged JGL

Chuck Finley: “Speaking of Surf Ninjas, the world needs more Rob Schneider” said nobody ever

Sweet Sugar: … or more of Tone Loc

Chuck Finley: Michael Shannon is a great creep (eg., Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead). On a more important note, what ever happened to Nu Metal? Nothing makes me want to watch a bike delivery movie like some Slipknot and Coal Chamber. And what could possibly be in a parcel that the second that you gave it to the guy you wanted it back? “I really want to send this…(4 seconds later)….Oh yeah I’ll need that back or, uh, I’ll murder you”. Holy overreaction, Shannon. I also think it’s funny that cars were having trouble catching bicycles. Like if you are pedaling fast enough the person in the car is like, “Well we can’t catch them now, Jesus look how fast they are pedaling”.

Mark: He should have just pulled a gun and got the package. Instead he has to slowly drive around listening to Hoobastank for two hours.

O’Lasavath: I get the feeling this movie would be a lot more interesting if it were based on the perspective of Michael Shannon’s character. Why won’t that kid give me the envelope? Where did he learn to do those extreme bike tricks? Where is that numetal music coming from?

Chuck Finley: like no matter what CD or radio station he put on in his car it would be nu metal.

O’Lasavath: At one point in the movie, Michael Shannon gets an epiphany and realizes the best way to track down JGL is to just follow the nu metal.

O’Lasavath: You gotta give JGL’s character a lot of respect. You would never see that level of commitment from the UPS guy.

O’Lasavath:  I wonder what’s in that envelope that’s so important? Does JGL ever stop to consider that maybe its just a father’s day card? Maybe the reason why Michael Shannon wants it back is because he forgot to sign it.

Chuck Finley: Maybe in a moment of weakness he put 20 bucks in a birthday card then realized he was exactly 20 bucks short on rent

Mark: David Koepp wrote this film. He also helped write Carlitos Way, Jurassic Park, Spider Man, Mission Impossible, Panic Room and War of the Worlds BUT….He also contributed to Indiana Jones 4 Maybe this is his punishment.

Sweet Sugar: Maybe the crystal skull is what’s inside the messenger bag?

Mark: If JGL starts swinging through the street with the help of city monkeys I will pre-order the film immediately.

Mark: I’ve been thinking about the title and several things come to mind:

1. Orange Juice

2. A remastered Rush album

3. Extreme Paper Clips …

The movie needs a new title. I’m thinking “JGL 500.” Not sure why but it doesn’t make me think of orange juice. What do you think the title should be?

Sweet Sugar: ‎4. Hold me close, tiny messenger 5. Message Man (I think it’s going to be a long long time) 6. Message in the wind

Chuck Finley: ‎7. Ja ja ja ja Joey and the mail. 8. Saturday nights alright for biking. 9. I guess that’s why they call it the news

Mark: I do hope I hope he gets help from the Portlandia bike guy. Michael Shannon would kill him quickly but he would make for a nice sidekick.