2012 Awesomely Random Awards

Hello all. Mark here. I’ve already posted the best of the year and here are the best moments/characters/bad guys/gingers and cardigans of 2012.

2012 was fantastic for cinema. Ed Norton made a comeback, gingers ruled the screen and bike messenger JGL got chased around by Michael Shannon in the surprsingly good Premium Rush. Enjoy the list. comment and keep your eye out for all of our 2012 coverage.

Best character introduction/Best 4:oo Am rain running/king of the crisis room

Edward Norton- Bourne Legacy. Welcome back Ed! You are the king of crisis room…..and telling people to leave the crisis room when things get too real.

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I  jumped into a train and fixed my cufflinks award.

Quantum of Solace who? Skyfall is a wonder of atmosphere, wonderful characters and Scotland vistas. Can’t wait for the blu ray and Home Alone comparisons.

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Best Hair and accent

Merida from Brave. huge hair and plenty of spunky Kelly MacDonald

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Best Fight

Seann William Scott vs. Liev Schreiber in Goon. Two likable guys, lots of blood and very loud cheers

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Best Song/ Yo, this film is batsh*t crazy award

Circus Afro! Polka Dot Polka Dot Afro! Madagascar 3 is fantastically insane in all the right ways. It is legitimately bonkers and certified CIRCUS AFRO!!!!

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Best grunts and cardigans

Tom Hardy in Lawless. He grunts, acts motherly and lands Jessica Chastain. A welcome break from Superstar Bane

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I love it when movies about NYC bike messengers who are chased by a squirrely  Michael Shannon turn out to be a whole lot of fun award.

Premium Rush had no reason to work. However, JGL and Michael Shannon created a bonkers relationship similar to that of Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner.

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Best supporting dirtbags

Scoot Mc Nairy and Ben Mendelsohn in Killing Me Softly. Give these guys their own movie. Or, put them in a movie where James Gandolfini doesn’t spend 45 minutes breathing heavily.

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Funniest lines

21 Jump street

“Leave Korean Jesus alone. He busy. With Korean Sh**.”

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Best villain again…

Loki – The dude can raise armies, get crunched by Hulk, punched by Thor, Outwitted by Iron Man and fooled by Black Widow…….and still escape and raise another army…..repeat. He will never take over the world but will always be an incredible annoyance.

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Second Best Villain who wastes 50 year old scotch and shoots well dressed women for no reason.

Javier Bardem enjoys wasting good scotch and planning the most elaborate assassinations ever. A perfect foil for Bond and MacCallan purists.

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Best Chicken Burrito and use of Navy veterans

Battleship– Thank for being loud and awesome. Too bad nobody understood you.

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Exactly what the trailer advertised/Best Soundtrack

Project X – huge beats, zero accountability and huge beats. I loved it.

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Best claymation film featuring a lonely Darwin

Pirates – Cheeky, lively and features the greatest travel by map ever. Pirates for Pirate film of the year!

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Best Gingers – TIE

Jessica Chastain hunts Bin Laden. Brittany Snow sings mash ups. Both are fantastic, likable and mysterious. Guess which one has problem with her lymph nodes?

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Happiest moment

When the little fella finally gets to sing in Pitch Perfect. He has the magic in him. Watch this film, buy the soundtrack, watch it again.

Best Breakfast

Bourne Legacy – Jeremy Renner and Oscar Isaac munch on some grub while they figure each other out. Fantastic character building, good eats and better acting.

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Best movie I won’t watch again

Lincoln – Wonderful acting, beautiful set design and that dude from Flight of the Conchords and Breaking Bad finally gets a juicy role for the mainstream to appreciate.

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Best God Punching

Hulk hitting Thor in The Avengers. Hulk also crunches Loki but you gotta dig the random punches to blond Asgardians.

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Thanks for not phoning it in

Robert Deniro Silver Linings Playbook. Best performance in over a decade and he gets some of the best moments of the year.

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You made that with that and it became that? I like you

Beasts of the Southern Wild – Cheap, memorable and breathtaking. The film is like Malick and David Gordon Green had a nephew that was interested in film and lived in New Orleans.

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Please watch this film. I need a sequel because it is wonderful, violent and Karl Urban’s chin is a better actor than 73% of all working actors

Dredd 3D – Whoa, this film is amazing. Cheap, believable and visionary. It needs an audience and proves that there are good R-rated comic book films out there.

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Best Neck Squeeze

Seven Psychopaths – A wonderfully profane film featuring Woody Harrelson giving Colin Farrell the neck squeeze of doom. It is a solid follow up to In Bruges. If you haven’t watched In Bruges check it out now.

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Best posing whilst standing in front of an explosion

Black Widow keeps her cool while aliens, giant lizards and large green men battle.

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