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“Vs.” Movies That Need to Happen: Part 2: More Randomness.

April 26, 2016

I love random “vs.” movies. There is something about two random characters creating hypothetical chaos that I love. These movies will never happen but it shouldn’t stop you from wondering if Death from Final Destination could stop Jason Voorhees.  I had a great time putting together the first post and recording the podcast so I decided to create more weird matchups.

Here they are! Enjoy!

1. Rick Deckard (Blade Runner)  vs. Ava (Ex-Machina)

Movie Title: Mach 2 

This should be the sequel to Ex-Machina. Imagine if Alex Garland (Sunshine, 28 Days Later, Ex-Machina) wrote the screenplay and Dennis Villeneuve (Sicario, Prisoners) directed it. Perfection!

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2. Travis Bickle (Taxi Driver) vs. Alex (A Clockwork Orange)

Movie Title: Uber Ultra-Violence

This movie would hurt everyone’s soul with depravity, but it would be amazing. These two would kill many people, hurt each other and become heroes despite themselves. The world needs this film.

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3. Aron Ralston (127 Hours) vs. Zombies (Dawn of the Dead)

Movie Title: 127 Hours Later

Imagine 127 Hours with zombies. I would love to see Ralston’s reaction to zombies lumbering towards him. How did they get so far up in the mountains?

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4. Furiosa (Mad Max: Fury Road) vs. Nick Fury (Captain America: The Winter Soldier)

Movie Title: Furiosa and Fury on the Fury Road

There is a very specific reason why I want this movie to happen. In Captain America: The Winter Soldier Nick Fury has the most durable SUV ever built. It survives like a thousand bullet rounds, several rocket launcher blasts and a few battering ram shots! I want a movie that features Fury’s SUV chasing down the War Rig!

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5. Death (Final Destination) vs. Jason Voorhees (The Friday the 13th series)

Movie Title: Friday the 13th: The Final Destination Before the Next Final Destination

I feel like Death would give up because there is no way to kill Jason. The guy is already dead and has cheated further death countless times. However, I would love to see what Death would try to kill Jason with.

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6. Danica Talos (Blade: Trinity) vs. Elmont (Jack the Giant Slayer)

Movie Title: Wax

Parker Posey is amazing, and her character in Blade: Trinity is perfection. She turned up the absurdity to 11 and never looked back. The same goes for Ewan McGregor in Jack the Giant Slayer. He soldiered on through a slog of a movie and gave the world the greatest medieval haircut ever. When these two battle nobody will be paying attention to anything other than the flawless hair on display.

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7. Bret Maverick (Maverick) vs. James Bond (Casino Royale) vs. Nicky Santoro (Casino) vs. The Cincinnati Kid (The Cincinnati Kid) vs. Teddy KGB (Rounders) vs. Henry Gondorff (The Sting) vs. Doc Holliday (Tombstone)

Movie Title: Six Kings

Is is possible for six people to have six straight flushes in one hand? That would happen in Six Kings.

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8. Leon (The Professional) vs. John Wick (John Wick) vs. Alejandro (Sicario)

Movie Title: Ouch

I can’t imagine how this movie would end and that is why I love it. These three killers are incredibly badass, and I wouldn’t want any of them to lose. My hope is after they shoot at each other for 30-minutes they are forced to prevent world annihilation by a dumb CGI creature. I would put my money on Leon, Wick and Alejandro defeating Thanos, Doomsday and Ronan the Accuser.

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9. Nada & Frank (They Live) vs. David Levinson & Steven Hiller (Independence Day)

Movie Title: Independence Day Lives

Both of these duos have defeated aliens and punched things so this movie makes sense. I would love to see a seven-minute fight scene involving Jeff Goldblum battling Rowdy Roddy Piper. The set-up would involve Nada and Frank attempting to convince David and Steven to wear some glasses. The idea isn’t original, but that doesn’t matter nowadays.

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10. Peter Vincent (Fright Night 2011) & Buffy (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) & Abraham Lincoln (Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer) vs. Peter Loew (Vampire’s Kiss) & Severen (Near Dark) & Max Shrek (Shadow of the Vampire)

Movie Title: Fight Night

Imagine these six characters on-screen together. My brain would with explode with glee. How cool would it be to see Bill Paxton kicking Abraham Lincoln in the face, while Buffy deals with Nic Cage’s overacting? We would finally get a insane and fun “vs.” movie that couldn’t take itself too seriously.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. April 26, 2016 1:31 pm

    Set up a Kickstarter for #10! I’ve got 20 bucks to spare.

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