Skip to content

The MFF Olympic Squad: A Collection of Cinematic Athletes Who Could Win Gold Medals

July 21, 2016

I love bringing together random cinematic characters and making them engage in sports. Whether it be Football or Basketball we here at MFF love considering whether the Sarlacc Pitt would be a great defensive back or power forward. The following post brings together a weird grouping of characters who could win gold at the Rio Summer Olympics. I’ve stayed away from the obvious picks and instead picked some more eclectic choices.

Here are the movie characters that could win gold!

James Bond (Skyfall) – High Dive

I love Skyfall and I’ve always wondered how Bond was able to survive the massive fall after being shot. if he can survive that fall I’d guarantee he’d kill it on the high dive.

Snake Plissken (Escape From L.A.) – Modern Pentathlon

He already completed the science fiction pentathlon (surfing, basketball, motorcycle riding, hang gliding) in Escape from L.A. so I don’t see him having a problem with the modern version.


E.T. (E.T.) – BMX Cycling.

I guarantee there is no rule for levitation because rulemakers would never expect that. E.T. would win on a loophole and the judges would be pissed.


James “The Grim Reaper” Roper (The Great White Hype) – Boxing 

I just want to see more out-of-shape Daman Wayans punching people. Dude was great in the 1990s.

Damon Wayans great white hype


Ramada Thompson (Hot Shots) – Equestrain Eventing

Ramada’s horse skills are unparalleled and I guarantee she would win gold. You need to watch Hot Shots.


Tiffany and Paul Solitano (Silver Linings Playbook) – Ball Room Dancing

They would definitely spice up the Olympics. I’d imagine they’d be the Eddie the Eagle of the dance world.


Frank the Tank (Old School) – Rhythmic Gymnastics

Frank did this beautiful routine on very little notice. Imagine what he could do with years of training?

Nick Condon – (Blood on the Sun) – Judo

James Cagney has a black belt in Judo and this fight is bonkers proof. There are lots and lots and lots of flips.


The Polecats (Mad Max: Fury Road) – Pole Vaulting

If they can master post-apocalyptic death traps these people would have no problem conquering regular sports.



The Merman (Cabin in the Woods) – Freestyle swimming

The Merman would be a literal and figurative terror in a pool. Competitors would have no chance against this guy.

Merman Cabin in the woods


Anybody from Top Gun – Beach Volleyball

The Top Gun fellas are absolute class at absolutely everything. It doesn’t matter that they do because they will be awesome at it. The net might have to be lowered though.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. July 24, 2016 7:04 am

    Now this is a fantastic post, very well put together and with plenty of humour.

  2. John Leavengood permalink
    July 24, 2016 12:43 pm

    Those polecats had an amazing sense of body awareness and balance. With the right training they could be champions!

    • July 24, 2016 2:53 pm

      I want a movie about their training techniques!

      • John Leavengood permalink
        July 25, 2016 9:07 am

        I’d even settle for a training montage. It wouldn’t have fit well in Fury Road, but like a short film accounting the life of a PoleCat.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: