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The 2017 Random Awards: Honoring Mike Myers, Henchmen and Mary Poppins

December 20, 2017

The Random Awards are back and they are celebrating the best of 2017! I love randomness (just listen to the  2016 random awards pod) and because of this I put deep thought into dumb awards. The films of 2017 have given me ample random material and I hope  you enjoy the inane and cheeky awards.

Sit back, relax and enjoy the 2017 Mid-Year Random Awards!

Best Pie Eating Award

A Ghost Story is an amazing movie that features Rooney Mara eating a whole lot of pie in one shot. What I love most about A Ghost Story is how it feels like true cinema and builds to an ending that will floor you.

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Best Finger Eating Award

Raw is one of the best horror films of 2017 and easily features the best college campus cannibalism.

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Giving Up the High Ground Award

I love Wonder Woman but I don’t understand why an ancient warrior race gave up the high ground so quickly when battling Germans.

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Best Mike Myers Reference

The Michael Myers/Mike Myers bit was perfection in Baby Driver.

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Vince Vaughn Destroys a Car Award

Vince Vaughn is a straight up badass in Brawl in Cell Block 99. You need to watch it and listen to our podcast about it (shameless plug).

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Why Did You Stick Your Face in an Alien Pod Award?

Billy Crudup made a big time “dumb dumb” move in Alien: Covenant. Never trust insane robots.

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Best WWII Hair

Kenneth Branagh’s hair in Dunkirk is legit. Dude was a great leader and he still had time to style his hair.

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Daniel Craig Looks Happy Award

Daniel Craig seemed to really enjoy himself in Logan Lucky. If you haven’t watched it yet I totally recommend it. It’s a blast.

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Best Carharrt Jacket Award

Jeremy Renner’s Carharrt jacket in Wind River were practical and fashionable. I’d say it is the best Carharrt jacket featured in a film since Manchester by the Sea. 

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Best Alien Decapitation Award

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets features the best and most surprising alien decapitation of 2017.

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Best Rock Creature Who is Afraid of Paper Award

Thor: Ragnarok’s true MVP is Korg the cheeky gladiator. I love that director Taika Waititi played the role and was able to say such crazy things (don’t want to spoil the ending).

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Why am I a Henchman Award?

The henchmen in the John Wick world need to quit because many of them get murdered in John Wick: Chapter 2. 

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Can Sam Rockwell Win Every Acting Award for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri Award?

Sam Rockwell has a legit chance of winning an Academy Award this year. I really hope it happens because he is amazing in Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. 

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Best Head Scratching Award

Collasal is a weird movie that I really enjoyed because I never knew what to expect. I think my favorite bit revolves around a giant monster scratching its head.

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Roger Deakins Needs an Oscar Award

Come on people! Roger Deakins made Blade Runner: 2049 look amazing!

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Best Blue Man Looking Like Mary Poppins Award

Yondu yelling “I’m Mary Poppins Ya’ll” is one of my favorite moments of the year. It’s so incredibly happy and endearing

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Best War Horror “Warror” Movie Featuring John Cena Laying on the Ground

The Wall is an effective thriller and John Cena does a great job laying face first on the ground.

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When Zip-lining Goes Wrong Award

Girls Trip features a zipline scene that goes terribly wrong. I didn’t see it coming and now I can never forget it.

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Best Texting Award

Personal Shopper is so much more than a “Kristen Stewart” texts to her dead brother film. However, she does a shitload of texting.

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I Like Everyone Being Shot Award

Free Fire is one of my favorite 2017 films and I loved everyone who got shot in it. You need to watch it on Amazon Prime.

 

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Best Jumping Out of a Car Award

Saoirse Ronan is finally going to win an Oscar for Lady Bird. I think her dive out of her mom’s car will seal the deal.

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Best Coat Worn by a Vampire Award

The latest Underworld is not good but it features Kate Beckinsale doing some great coat work.

What random awards would you hand out? Let me know in the comments!

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