The MFF Podcast #146: Universal Soldier
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The #1 ranked podcast on Ranker’s “Best Movie Podcast” list is back! This week we’re talking about the 1992 somewhat classic Universal Soldier. It is a dorky little movie that features reanimated super soldiers played by Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren battling each other in Vietnam, Utah and Louisiana. What we love most about Universal Soldier is how it plays like an action film that met a horror film and threw in a lot of spin kicks. The best part about this movie is Dolph Lundgren, the dude steals the show with his amazing line delivery, beautiful monologues and cheeky grenade throwing. Also, we go in-depth into violence towards innocent diner patrons and a scientists fascination with ice.
We love that Dolph says “I’m all ears” during Universal Soldier.
As always, we answer random questions and ponder if militarized velociraptors are better than Frankensteined dead soldiers. If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Podbean, or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
Here are the fake movies we made up for Dolph Lundgren. Which movie would you like to see him in?
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John’s Horror Corner: The Endless (2017), a science fiction “cult movie” with more ideas than follow-through and not enough Cthulhu.
MY CALL: Having absolutely loved Spring (2014), I was stoked to see anything by Moorhead and Benson. This film opens with much promise and introduces cool ideas that felt largely unexplored—leaving me largely disappointed. Also, to be fair, this is much more a mystery/Sci-Fi movie than horror, despite some indications of a powerful (perhaps evil and perhaps monstrous) force. MOVIES LIKE The Endless: Spring (2014; podcast discussion) was a wonderful horror-romance from the same filmmakers. For more cult movies I’d suggest Faults (2014), The Leftovers (2014-2017), The Sound of My Voice (2011), The Sacrament (2014) and The House of the Devil (2009).
“Mankind’s fear of the unknown is easily our greatest fear.”
With a subtle flair for contemporizing the concepts of H. P. Lovecraft, Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead (co-directors of Spring and the “Bonestorm” segment of V/H/S: Viral) team up once again and co-star as brothers, bringing credible sibling idiosyncrasies ranging from protectiveness to quibbling banter. This films lacks the warm elegance and tactful simplicity of Spring (2014), but that may be a consequence of its pursuit to capture broader and more complicated science-fiction concepts. However I view it, I feel they bit off more than they could chew, leaving both the storytelling and character development in its wake.
Deprogrammed “UFO death cult” survivors Aaron (Moorhead) and Justin (Benson) struggle on a daily basis to find normalcy, not just in terms of finding friends and steady work, but even in how they relate to one another. Justin misses the comforts of the “commune” and wants to return (to visit his old cult friends), remembering the positive aspects of it all; whereas Aaron recalls darker components of their former community. As if the ice they skated wasn’t thin enough already, they receive a sort of “goodbye, World” video from the cult members which stokes their curiosity… and so they return… just to visit.
Their return brings welcome smiles and warm embraces. It’s unassumingly pleasant, like an adult summer camp where everyone plays games, gets along, drinks homebrew ales made from their own organic farm… everyone seems pleasant and happy and warm-hearted. Among the cultists are Anna (Callie Hernandez; Alien: Covenant), Hal (Tate Ellington; Sinister 2), Shane (Shane Brady; Spring, V/H/S: Viral), Tim (Lew Temple; The Walking Dead, House, Halloween), Jennifer (Emily Montague; Fright Night), Michael (Peter Cilella; Contracted: Phase II), and many others.
Time spent at the commune arouses curious revelations. How did Shane do that magic trick that seemed far too real for any stage illusionist to pull off? What are they hiding in the padlocked shed? What is it everyone is waiting for? What’s with the double moon illusion in the night sky? And why the Hell does no one seem to have any knowledge of the “goodbye, World” video they sent them? Yet still Aaron and Justin stay a day, and then another, and another… as if their desire to learn more surpassed their reasons for escaping in the first place. But as their stay lengthens, so does their understanding of the truths they weren’t yet ready to see before.
This film started out strong and but seemed to lose steam with each (of numerous) attempt to explain its stacked-up mysteries and with each new character lecturing the meanings of things. I feel like this film just tried to do too many things too many different ways through the dialogue of too many characters such that synthesis was sacrificed in the choppiness. The storytelling and acting started out great, but ended up feeling like a SyFy original series. I feel they needed to go the more obscure route of Primer (2004) or Predestination (2014) for this to work—i.e., fewer characters, fewer spoken explanations, and just enough clues to infer what (may have) happened over a few beers after viewing the film.
It’s hard to recommend this one unless you’re already a fan of Moorhead and Benson. I loved the first part, liked the middle part, and really just spent the third act waiting for it to end. For me, the value in this journey is more about the dynamic between the two brothers—even though that sort of fell apart. Just too many characters and too much “talking” about it all. I expected head-scratching cosmic revelations that would make me stream Neil deGrasse Tyson discussions. Instead, I got “meh.”
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Mandy: A Thrilling Experience That Features a Great Performance From Nicolas Cage
Quick Thoughts – Grade A – Mandy is a beautiful experience.
Mandy is so much more than a “Nic Cage freaking out” movie, and I’m certain it will become a cult classic that is celebrated at midnight screenings full of loving fans who celebrate every blood splurt that sprays in Nic Cage’s face. It can best be described as a thrilling experience that bombards your senses with bright colors, loud noises and ultra-violence, that will either make you cheer or cringe. Director Panos Cosmatos has created a movie that feels familiar with its Mad Max, giallo and Clive Barker/Nicolas Winding Refn vibes, and totally alien with its fever dream cinematography, heavy metal score and dedication to anarchy. I love how Cosmatos found a way to combine the grindhouse aesthetic (lots of blood and heightened performances) with an unconventional arthouse style that will alienate the masses and gain a very loyal audience who embrace how niche Mandy is.
At its core Mandy tells a simple story of love, revenge and horrible violence. The central characters Red Miller (Nic Cage) and Mandy Bloom (Andrea Riseborough) live contentedly in the deeps woods of California’s Shadow Mountains, and seem totally happy about their alienation. The two have a gentle relationship that revolves around outdoor activities, reading, and talking about their favorite planets (Jupiter and Galactus). All is good until Mandy is spotted by a cult leader named Jeremiah Sand (Linus Roach), who is equal parts flower child and homicidal maniac. Jeremiah orders his followers to kidnap Mandy, to do this they call forth some motorcycle riding maniacs who look like they just came from a Hellraiser/Mad Max crossover film. The kidnapping plays out with incredible brutality and leaves Red a bloody and broken mess who will make Liam Neeson’s mission in Taken look like a calm afternoon. The revenge mission he embarks on turns absurdity to 11, and involves custom battle axes, vodka, decapitations, anime sequences and a chainsaw fight.
The thing I appreciate most about Mandy is how it doesn’t use Cage’s penchant for “freaking out” crudely. When Cage does have his uncut two-minute long bout of yelling, it is earned, and I’m pretty sure most of us would react in a similar manner after we’ve seen our loved one being hurt by a hippy cult who were aided by seemingly supernatural murderers. The Cage “freak out” is a real thing, but in movies like Mom and Dad, the bouts of yelling seem obligatory and exploitative. After the patented freak out (which is amazing), Cage does an excellent job of portraying a bulked up badass who can jump from the second story windows and not break his legs in seven places (It happens and it’s awesome).
If you are looking for a trippy experience that features bonkers cinematography, lots of blood, and cult leaders who monologue, you will love Mandy.
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The MFF Podcast #145: Resident Evil: Retribution
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Podbean, or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
The #1 ranked podcast on Ranker’s “Best Movie Podcast” list is back! This week we are talking about Resident Evil: Retribution, the fifth entry in the Resident Evil series and quite possibly the best. Director Paul W.S. Anderson was finally given a decent budget of $65 million and he does a great job of showing every cent of it onscreen. Which means the CGI is better, the sets are legit, and there is more of everything (two Executioners!!!) for Alice and her cohorts to kill.
If you haven’t listened to our other Resident Evil podcasts, make sure to check them out before/after you listen to this podcast. Why? You will never look at the series the same again, and you might enjoy our positive take on Paul W.S. Anderson’s vision, Milla Jovovich kicking butt, and the overall coherence of the story line.
The hallway fight is badass.
As always, we answer random questions and ponder which of Milla Jovovich’s Resident Evil outfits are the best. If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Podbean, or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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The MFF Podcast #144: The Best Romantic Comedies of 2018 (so far)
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Podbean, or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
The #1 ranked podcast on Ranker’s “Best Movie Podcast” list is back! This week we’re talking about the fantastic 2018 romantic comedies Crazy Rich Asians, Set it Up, To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before and Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again! 2018 has been loaded with great romantic comedies and we couldn’t wait to talk about the genre revitalizing movies like Set it Up that may or may not feature the greatest scene involving pizza ever. I love these four films, so I did a ton of research and brought my A+ romantic comedy podcast game to make sure these movies get the respect they deserve.
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As always, we answer random questions and ponder which cinematic pizza scene is the best. If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Podbean, or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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John’s Horror Corner: The Willies (1990), a hokey kid-friendly-ish horror anthology starring Sean Astin.
MY CALL: Basically, this is a young adult horror anthology a step scarier than Nickelodeon’s Are you Afraid of the Dark (1990-2000). It’s not bad, but the gore and “scares” are nonexistent (to adult horror fans, at least).
MORE HORROR ANTHOLOGIES: Dead of Night (1945), Black Sabbath (1963), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), The Uncanny (1977), Creepshow (1982), Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983), Stephen King’s Cat’s Eye (1985), Deadtime Stories (1986), Creepshow 2 (1987), After Midnight (1989), Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990), Two Evil Eyes (1990), Grimm Prairie Tales (1990), Necronomicon: Book of the Dead (1993), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Campfire Tales (1997), 3 Extremes (2004), Creepshow 3 (2006), Trick ‘r Treat (2007), Chillerama (2011), Little Deaths (2011), V/H/S (2012), The Theater Bizarre (2012), The ABCs of Death (2013), V/H/S 2 (2013), The Profane Exhibit (2013), The ABCs of Death 2 (2014), V/H/S Viral (2014), Southbound (2015), Tales of Halloween (2015), A Christmas Horror Story (2015), The ABCs of Death 2.5 (2016), Holidays (2016) and XX (2017).
This flick takes me way back. The wraparound story has three boys (incl. Sean Astin; Cabin Fever 3: Patient Zero, Stranger Things, The Strain) passing the time around the campfire telling scary stories. Playing on urban legends, the stories include some jovial super-shorts (just a few minutes each) about a lady at a fried chicken joint eating an extra crispy fried rat, an old man on a “house of horrors” amusement park ride that dies of fright, and the old lady who gives her dog a bath and then uses the microwave to dry it off, resulting in a gloppepty gross explosion. The tone is light, and this has a very preteen-friendly vibe to it; it’s very PG most of the time and everything is more hokey than scary. Although when that dog exploded into what looked like hot dogs in brown gravy I had quite a “pseudo-gory” giggle.
This anthology focuses particularly on two stories. The first is about elementary schooler Danny who is bullied at school. He finds little sympathy except from the kind janitor. On a routine visit to the bathroom, Danny encounters some sort of primate-gargoyle monster (think of a cheaper monster from Creepshow and Fright Night II) and finds the janitor’s body and head as if it was a sort of costume—I’m left to wonder if this influenced the Men in Black (1997) “Edgar suit.” The bathroom monster is a basic rubber creature effect, but it gets a lot of screen time, looks just passable enough to be entertaining, and has a silly “action-violence” scene with a mean teacher ending with her being dragged into the ceiling.
The second story is about a bad kid with an odd interest in insects—like, pulling the wings off flies and making dead fly dioramas, not collecting butterflies. Gordy (Michael Bower; Evolution, Dude Where’s My Car?, Wishcraft) is just not a good boy. And because he’s not nice, we don’t feel sorry for him when he gets his comeuppance. Through a silly turn of events, some giant flies exact their revenge in a ridiculous ending complete with costume store-quality giant fly suits and severed limbs. If you grew up in the 80s, this may serve your nostalgic guilty pleasure.
The editing is quite amateur, the score is kids flick-ish, and the movie has no sense of timing in its cultivation of spookiness. But again, the tone is just so goofy and light, and gore is largely nonexistent. They even have an in-dialogue callback to Sean Astin’s role in The Goonies (1985) which should provoke a grin. This is just one small step scarier than anything from Nickelodeon’s Are you Afraid of the Dark (1990-2000), and it carries a similar atmosphere.
Written and directed by Brian Peck (his only writing or directing endeavor), this anthology is nothing special other than a nice stepping stone for potential horror fans to wet their feet in the genre at a younger age. It’s entertaining, but nothing I’d recommend in general. However, it’s nice how the wraparound story ends up linked to one of the anthology tales in the end.
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John’s Horror Corner: The Vineyard (1989), bringing Big Trouble in Little China and zombies to wine country.
MY CALL: Basically, Big Trouble in Little China part 2: Lo Pan does Napa Valley (and zombies), this film is B-movie GOLD. It’s hardly horror and can’t decide if it favors mysticism over fist fights. It’s exactly the kind of bad that will leave you smiling. MOVIES LIKE The Vineyard: Hmmm… I really have no idea. So, suggestions would be most welcome in the comments section below.
Doctor Elson Po (James Hong) is among the most famous winemakers… and he has a secret! Using magic potions and rituals, he has lived for centuries. However, like any drug (of sorts), its effects have waned over time, making him fearful for his unnatural longevity. As a means to gather key “ingredients” for his wine, Po invites a group of actors (incl. Karen Lorre/Witter; Popcorn) to his home for a private casting party. At this point you may be questioning the shakiness of the plot… and you’d be right. This is as hokey as it gets! LOL
Co-directed by James Hong (Blade Runner, The Golden Child, Big Trouble in Little China), this film launches its lunacy without a moment to spare. Within the first few minutes we encounter garden-planted zombies, gratuitous nudity, James Hong transforming into something whenever he needs a youth juice fix, and an overly elaborate science set complete with beakers and long twirling titration tubing so we can visibly track blood from its scantily-clad victims straight to the wine glass.
There are some stupid gags (e.g., a woman wakes up in bed with a harmless snake, another basically dies from spiders crawling all over her), some cheap tropes (e.g., needless sex scenes and extra-dumb victims), some totally out-of-place scenes (e.g., a martial arts brawl), and needlessly long party scenes that get a bit awkward. But what moves this movie along are its poorly handled growling vineyard zombies, a surprising amount of fight scenes (between regular people, not zombies), and Hong’s zestful mania. Other random scenes include the acupuncture voodoo doll death, some decapitation, old Chinese lady zombie assault, and the wedding-like “Lo Pan” ritual.
This movie features James Hong as an undying lord who uses magic and kidnapped young women to facilitate his immortality, mystical potions and dungeon lairs, and martial arts-fighting henchman. Moreover, this movie contains notably more action-based violence than horror and crescendos to a wedding scene reminiscent of Lo Pan and Kim Cattrall. This is essentially Big Trouble in Little China part 2: Lo Pan does Napa Valley.
This film is pure nonsense. It’s hardly horror, and can’t decide if it favors mysticism over fist fights. The only thing I can say confidently is that this is B-movie GOLD! It’s exactly the kind of bad that will leave you smiling.
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John’s Horror Corner: Night of the Creeps (1986), bringing you space zombies and infectious brain slugs.
MY CALL: Perhaps not a true horror classic, but a cult classic for sure! This is a fun, feisty and energetic 80s horror flick about zombifying space slugs. MOVIES LIKE Night of the Creeps:
Hmmm… I’d say Slither (2006) and Slugs (1988).
Like The Thing (1982), Lifeforce (1985) and Mosquito (1994), this cult classic posits that our worst maladies would come from intelligent life from outer space when an alien ejects a cannister (for reasons unknown) from his spaceship which finds its way to an unassuming sorority row in 1959 on Earth. The 1950s scenes enjoy a delightfully kitschy black and white pallet complete with timely (if cliché) vernacular and the spaceship scene is a delight.
Our infectious undead outbreak begins when someone finds this cannister (having landed on Earth) and an alien slug-eel-thing launches into his mouth. This creates something of a zombie that serves as a vessel to transport the evil space slugs as they procreate in the brain.
Fast-forward to 1986 when we meet the unpopular Chris (Jason Lively; Brainstorm, National Lampoon’s Vacation) his buddy JC, and Chris’ crush Cynthia (Jill Whitlow; Weird Science). As part of a frat initiation to steal a dead body, Chris and JC stumble across the high-security cadaver of the infected 1950s guy. As we see in The Hidden (1987) and Prince of Darkness (1987), the cadaver awakens and infects its attending scientist (David Paymer; Howard the Duck) with projectile mouth-to-mouth leeches.
Detective Cameron (Tom Atkins; Halloween III, The Fog) handles the case and joins our protagonists, quickly coming to believe their wild story because of his connection to the outbreak when he was a rookie in 1959. Also, watch out for Dick Miller (Gremlins, The Howling, Chopping Mall).
As far as 80s horror goes, this is among the more sincerely written films. The writing cares about its characters and the actors care about the film—and, most importantly, it all shows. The special effects hold up as well! These hokey leech-things erupt from our 1959 zombie and wriggle at top speeds, they make one Hell of a zombie cat and a cute zombie dog, and they’re actually pretty fun to watch as they stop-motion-scuttle across the ground. We also enjoy a zombie axe-murderer, lots of sluggy leeches spewing forth from ruptured heads, and massively chunky head wounds. It’s every bit as amusing as I recalled from my last viewing (decades ago).
Director and writer Fred Dekker (Monster Squad, RoboCop 3) delivers an unusual alternative zombie movie. This film is playful, entertaining and energetic. I can see how it holds such a cult status, but a true horror classic it is not. The characters are great, the effects are decent, and the premise is fun.
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John’s Horror Corner: Rabid Grannies (1988), a fun, low budget, slapstick schlocky film about geriatric demons.
MY CALL: This movie isn’t the raunchy trashy film I expected, but rather a cheap-yet-effective effects-driven slapstick schlock flick that was pretty fun for this B-movie fan. MOVIES LIKE Rabid Grannies: For more ridiculous horror films try Street Trash (1987), Class of Nuke’em High (1986), Mutant Hunt (1987), The Toxic Avenger (1984) and The Granny (1995). Perhaps even Manborg (2011), Turbo Kid (2015), Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991) and Kung Fury (2015) capture the same spirit of lunacy while crossing genres from horror.
The premise is pretty basic. A group of despicably greedy upper-class yuppies gather at their two aunts’ shared birthday party in hopes of garnering their favor for the sake of their inheritance. I’m reminded of The Legacy (1978)… but with utterly deplorable acting.
Written and directed by Emmanuel Kervyn (no other credits), this wonky flick opens with stagnant writing and rigid acting from an unknown cast. As we lumber through the first 30 or so minutes, one may wonder why even bother continuing. Of course, this film is reputed not for its filmmaking, but for its slapstick campy gore. So you should just be patient…
Things eventually get interesting when a creepy arched-eyebrowed lady (who looks like a live-action version of a witch that might offer a Disney Princess a cursed apple) drops off a creepy gift box for the birthday of the madams of the house. After opening the box and being afflicted by this cursed item, the aunts begin to change and, at last, a smile befalls my face!
Their fingernails spew green gooey pus as their nails elongate into demonic talons, cheeks rip agape as toothy maws form, monstrous limbs tear at their greedy guests and they become bald deadites as if Evil Dead (1981) crossed paths with Nosferatu (1922). For all that has thus far been unforgivably terrible in this film, it has found its gory redemption among feistily inspired creature effects.
Considering the meager budget, the claws and latexed heads of these murderous geriatric fiends get ample screen time and, honestly, they’re handled pretty well. This film was every bit as ambitious as possible given financial limitations. I’m happy to have finally seen it, and also that I didn’t set my expectations too high.
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The Strangers: Prey at Night: A Very Good Slasher Film
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The Strangers: Prey at Night is the rare horror sequel that improves upon the slasher premise of its predecessor in every way and achieves almost-greatness (in horror sequel terms). Director Johannes Roberts (47 Meters Down) should be applauded for the way he molds familiar horror tropes with innovative set pieces that feature inventive camera work, creative music choices, and lots of blood. I can’t think of the last time I enjoyed a horror film so much, and I’m glad it’s starting to get some love with Bloody Disgusting, The Hollywood Reporter, and The A.V. Club writing nice things about it.
I had no urge to watch the sequel because I wasn’t a fan of the smug villains who killed the dour couple in The Strangers. The killers annoyed me with their overly pretentious mannerisms and I almost expected them to go to a coffee shop and pretentiously discuss their kills over several comically large cappuccinos. I know they were meant to be mysterious, but their underwritten mannerisms and “random” acts made them seem less like Michael Myers and more like the people you hate to have at parties because they call everything “cute” or “little.” I know I am projecting personalities onto masked villains who say virtually nothing, however, I’m totally cool saying they are empty vessels who kill unnecessarily sad people.
What I love about The Strangers: Prey at Night is how the villains seem legitimately insane. They aren’t very good at killing, and their games seem practical because they were concocted by crazy people. There is no rhyme-or-reason to their methods which may seem absurd, but I think it’s what they want. They haven’t thought it through and it’s like they are embracing the randomness of their game — which leads to “horror-trope” moments involving jump scares, omnipresent villains and terrible decisions. I didn’t mind the familiar horror elements or omnipresent villains because everything else around these moments are directed, written and performed well.
100% jerk.
The Strangers: Prey at Night tells the story of a nice married couple (Christina Hendricks, Martin Henderson) and their two snotty teenagers (Bailee Madison, Lewis Pullman) stopping overnight at a trailer park. The family is at the trailer park because they are on their way to a boarding school that the bratty daughter will be attending. Thus, everyone is annoyed with each other, which adds a melodramatic element that isn’t needed (can’t they be a happy family?). Soon after they arrive things go horribly wrong and they have to battle three mask wearing maniacs who really want to kill them.
The ensuing violence can be frustrating because it features people going into places they shouldn’t, and killers who have no problem hiding in the shadows so they can provide jump scares for the audience. However, I was able to roll with the familiar elements and was pleasantly surprised how the terror builds towards a stellar sequence at a swimming pool that might be one of the my favorite horror moments in years. I won’t give anything else away, but I think you might be pleasantly surprised with the ending and inventive visuals.
If you are looking for a pure slasher film that features creative set pieces and an inspired soundtrack you will love this movie. I’m bummed that critics/audiences disliked it because it seems like it wasn’t given a chance. Hopefully, it will thrive on VOD/Blu-ray and build the audience it deserves.
Movies, Films & Flix 