American Reunion
Nostalgia is a heck of a drug. I still have fond memories of a 17-year-old me watching the first American Pie while working at the local AMC movie theater. The characters were new and the pie wasn’t defiled yet. Blink-182 popped up occasionally and I had the movie poster on my wall. The second American Pie came out and Jason Biggs made me laugh with his impromptu trombone performance. American Wedding was fun and rocked the sweet Matt Nathansan cover song Laid.
The driving force behind American Reunion is nostalgia. The creators hoped people would devour this offering. The movie made $22 million the opening weekend but critics haven’t been kind 44% on Rotten Tomatoes. The pie hasn’t aged too well. It has become as predictable as Stifler stealing the show and Jason Biggs humping something. This botched humping will lead to another conversation with his Dad where they talk about uncomfortable stuff involving thumbs and sticky pages.
The jokes in the three prior films worked because the characters were punk teenagers, college students and recent post grads. Nowadays the jokes stem from their unhappiness with adulthood. They can no longer blame youthful exuberance. When teenagers act like teenagers you can roll with it (Wooderson is cool though). However, when a bunch of dudes do the same things over and over for 13 years it becomes blah.
This film reminded me of the David Cross show The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret. Todd is a pathological liar whom has always been close to failure and insanity. The reason the show works is because you realize how incredibly unlikable he is without Cross realizing it.
The reason I say nostalgia is a heck of a drug is because the characters in American Reunion do nothing but lie, cheat and fart and you almost let them get away with it. The reason this film exists is because people like these characters a lot. They survived the years and the writers thought they had a story to tell. The problem is that this movie has likable characters acting like Todd Margaret. Their plights are fostered by their arrested development and unwillingness to say “no.”
The freshest moments involve new developments like Thomas Ian Nicholas’s beard and Chris Klein’s dancing. My favorite moments involve seeing Stifler in the real world. Stifler is a force of nature who will be an eternal man-child whose powers will be used for good and evil.
The reason this film won’t be remembered as fondly as the others is because it sticks to the same recipe. If you are a diehard fan your sweet and boob teeth will be satisfied. However, If you dig too deep into the movie you will realize it is empty calories.
If you like the three American Pie movies watch this film. It doesn’t bring anything new to the table but it does provide a familar option to sink your teeth in to.
jjjj
Share this post:
April Anticipation” The Five-Year Engagement
The reason I want to see this movie can be summed up in three words “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” Jason Segel cowrote the script and director Nicolas Stoller is back for more relatable relationship trials and tribulations.
If you dislike this cast you might need to be put in the headlock of doom. The Five-Year Engagement feature some of my favorite actors. Jason Segal, Emily Blunt, Chris Pratt, Alison Brie and Rhys Ifans are all immensly likable and impossible to hate.
What can you expect from this film? Look forward to life lessons, comedy and leg injuries caused by arrows. The biggest problem this movie could encounter is over confidence. If Segel and crew think they are making a beautiful film it might collapse under the guise of über confidence. Forgetting Sarah Marshall was unexpected. Five-Year will have to wrestle with comparisons and high expectations.
I love the film Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It is a near perfect romantic comedy that brought the best out of every actor. This is not an easy trait considering the actors/actresses following movies such as Arthur, Friends With Benefits, The Sitter and You Again were soul hurting. These flicks could not replicate anywhere near the talent that FSM accomplished. Something special happened on FSM. I’d wager that if 5 Year can copy 70% of that it will be a beautiful date night.
This will be a good film or a great film. Either way I’m happy to find out.
Share this post:
April Anticipation: The Raven
John Cusack playing Edgar Allen Poe. What more do you need? The most eclectic actor in the world playing a famous writer who has to play a game of cat and mouse with a serial killer.
I do not want to sound negative but I don’t think people will pay much attention to this film in the theaters. Here is a brilliant idea that would have rocked the world and box office. John Cusack gets sent back in time via Hot Tub and gets entangled in a murder mystery. He has to use his knowledge of Poe’s work to capture a serial killer. This is a brilliant idea because it allows John Cusack to use his black belt in karate and maybe provide a wonderful romantic comedy about him falling for Alice Eve.
In this picture he is introducing Eve to the world-famous Cusack neck squeeze
Cusack gets a free pass with me because he has been in some of the my favorite movies such as Gross Pointe Blank, High Fidelity, Say Anything, One Crazy Summer and Better off Dead. I’d watch him in anything. I also believe that Hot Tub Time Machine is an underrated laugh machine.
The Raven does boast an excellent cast. Brendan Gleeson, Luke Evans and Alice Eve are all gifted actors who will give their all to any material. The Raven will need it because it is already sitting at 23% on Rotten Tomatoes. The score does not scare me. I will watch this movie and appreciate every moment of the absurdity.
Share this post:
April Anticipation: Lockout
Hello all. Mark here
Lockout (April 20)
Lockout is totally free of pretension (I’m guessing). What you see is what you get (another guess). This will be a ludicrous action film that ups the ante to ridiculous heights (AKA Space Prison).
A bulked up Guy Pearce has to infiltrate a maximum security space prison to rescue the president’s daughter played by Maggie Grace.
What could be better? In a world of overcomplicated plots and realistic good guys it is nice to have a movie featuring total insanity. Lockout looks like an old school B movie with an A-list actor. The movie is guaranteed fun destruction due to its producer Luc Besson (Professional, Taken, Fifth Element).
I love any film involving a badass loose cannon who has to battle incredibly evil guys. The preview sets up Pearce as a man named Snow who lives life on the edge because the view is great. He has to go to space because of a pesky false espionage conviction looming over him. The movie boasts an extravagantly long zero gravity fight and wisecracks aplenty.
Audiences should always appreciate action films that only want to entertain. Lockout looks like a film that will make good on every promise the preview makes (I hope).
Watch this movie. Enjoy this movie. Don’t be pretentious and analyze this movie.
Share this post:
I’m going out on a limb when I say that Scorpion King 3 is better than Scorpion King 2. It should be noted that I haven’t watched SK2 but I am normally accurate on my bad movie assumptions. Also, I think this is the first sequel to a prequel of a spin-off off a sequel.
Picking this film for a Bad Movie Tuesday is a bit unfair because the movie never had a chance of being good. I expected three things to happen.
1. Billy Zane would overact while sitting in a chair.
2. The dialogue would be written by a blindfolded camel walking on a large keyboard.
3. The plot would revolve around one guy trying to kill another guy.
All three of my assumptions were correct. Zane ripped off a guy’s ear, the script reeked of camel hoof and a guy tried to kill another guy. The only time the film caught my attention was when I heard lines like “where in Odin’s codpiece have you been?” The camel writing this film must have had a sense of humor because you cannot say “Odin’s codpiece” and be serious. There are many lines like this in SK3.
While watching this cinematic treat I started to notice a strange trend. There are many insulting references to animals.
Did you bathe in camel dung this morning?
Are you courting me with those love taps you great lover of sheep?
Your breath smells like rotten yak carcus.
Great gods! What do they feed you cats over here?
One gorilla is better than fifty chimps.
I will take out your eyes and feed them to the ravens.
It interests me as much as camel dung in the desert
What in the name of the demon serpent is going on?
Aside from all the animal insults the movie speeds along at a brisk pace and features a sassy performance from Billy Zane. In Billy’s last two bad movies he stayed stationary in chairs. He NEVER got up from his seat. So, it was nice to see that he can still walk and pulls ears. I would love to see a flow chart of Billy Zane’s career because with movies like Titanic, The Phantom and Journey to Promethea the flow would be funky.
The only reason you should watch this film is if you are writing a paper on the usage of animal insults in direct to DVD movies.
In the direct to DVD world this movie is comparable to the big screen classic Hard Rain. Both of these films were unnecessary. However, I watched them both.
Share this post:
April Anticipation: Cabin in the Woods
Cabin in the Woods (April 13) has been sitting on the MGM shelf for three years. This delay might have helped the film. Chris Hemsworth is a star and Joss Whedon is on The Avengers Express headed straight towards Money Land.
I know nothing about this film. I watched the trailer a while back and decided to turn it off due to spoilers. The buzz surrounding this film is incredibly positive (95% Rotten Tomatoes) and the word on the street is that is spins the horror genre upside down. The R rating is proof that the movie won’t back and intends to deliver the thrills. I don’t want to spoil it by reading a review or watching a three-minute trailer.
There is nothing better in the cinema world than watching a great film you know nothing about. I watched movies like Bubba Ho-Tep, Elephant, Take Shelter, Murderball and District 9 without any spoilers or pesky previews. What followed were fresh experiences that were not spoiled by too much information.
I do love these posters that were released. They give away nothing and show this movie won’t stick to the horror blueprint. Also, check out the original release dates.
Share this post:
A Dangerous Method
These two posters suggest two totally different films. The first is a character study/historical drama…The Second is a sexy/sassy period romp.
A Dangerous Method is historical fiction that could only be done by David Cronenberg. The editing, pacing, directing and acting are all top-notch. This movie could have fallen face first into the dirt in the hands of a less capable director.
The thing I loved most about this film was the shot selection. The movie is essentially about four people talking. However, the shots are incredibly unique in that they never settle for a flat shot whilst people talk intelligently.
To keep from the shots from being flat Cronenberg mixed it up by framing half of the shot around windows, doors and strategic art. The shots look excellent and manage to make drab rooms look interesting. It must have been a mighty struggle to create vivid scenery amidst a psychoanalysts office.
Watching this movie felt like a semester in film school. It is an education on how to make a movie about intellectual giants and their trials and sexual/philosophical tribulations. The intertwining stories between Sabina Spielrein, Carl Jung, Sigmund Freud and Otto Gross all feel natural when they should be boring.
The actors are all top-notch and deliver the rapid fire intellectual speak naturally. It never feels like an actor acting. When I first heard Kiera Knightley’s Russian accent it reminded me of the REM song “it’s the end of the world as we know it.” However, after getting into the character I felt fine about her portrayal of Sabina.
The movie feels immersive because of the tone and performances. This movie could have reeked of pretentiousness but instead exudes confidence in the source material. It is a wonderful treat to see a director in such great form. I was hoping that during the credits David would run out and do the Aaron Rodgers double-check.
This movie reminded me of a scene in the film Major League 2. There is a moment when the coach is in the hospital due to a heart attack. He cannot get too excited so he listens to the baseball game via hidden headphones. The nurse thinks he is watching a stuffy British show. The manager gets excited about the game and starts jumping up and down and screams “I love this British sh**!”
A Dangerous Method is not British. However, it is an expertly crafted film that manages to be a thrilling work of a beloved director. What is thrilling do you ask? He made a movie about four genius humans who analyze each other in a non thriller fashion. That is an accomplishment in itself.
Share this post:
Wes Anderson Madness: Super 16
The 16 become eight! Who will it be. Who will move forward in the four brackets? The competition will be insane and the artwork aplenty. The greatest thing about this tournament is that I’ve gotten to watch the movies again and find cool Wes Anderson art. Life is good!
Mr. Fox Vs. Patricia Whitman
Mr. Fox takes on the elusive Patricia Whitman. Patricia got lucky against the Badger but there is no way she can talk her way out of imminent defeat. Mr. Fox knows every trick in the book and even the tricks not in the book. Patricia decides there is no way to run away from the Fox so she gives up peacefully and the two of them talk escape tactics and punk children.
Francis Whitman Vs. Richie Tenenbaum
Francis and Richie have several things in common. wonderful hair, family issues and suicidal tendencies. It is commendable that they both recovered and got their lives straight. However, Francis never played tennis against a guy named Gandhi so I give the win to The Baumer. His tennis scene is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.
Anthony Adams Vs. Jack Whitman
Jack has a wonderful moustache but could never woo a spanish maid or have an intense dislike of discussing watersports. Anthony Adams is one of the first great Wes creations and his personality is mirrored in almost every other Anderson creation. Adams wins.
Ash Vs. Max Fischer
Ash can cuss and spit all he wants but it will not deter Max Fischer from becoming the best. However, Max decides to take young Ash under his wing and teach him everything he knows to survive the next Wes Anderson tournament.
The Fischer is spelled wrong but I like the art. So, I will forgive the misspelling.
Eli Cash Vs. Royal Tenenbaum
This might be the biggest upset of the tournament. Royal had all the makings of champion but Eli was able to sneak past him. Eli’s scenes in The Royal Tenenbaums may be few and far between but they are hilarious. Eli whispering the word “Wildcat” or having incredible artwork on his walls make him a person worthy of his own film. This pick comes from my supporting character bias.
Dignan Vs. Pagoda
Pagoda is a wonderful character. He is loyal and will take you to the hospital after stabbing you. However, Dignan is a bull in a china shop. A unstopable force of dumb nature. After dealing with Royal Tenenbaum for years Pagoda decides he doesn’t want to play second fiddle to a man who puts tape on his nose. Pagoda graciously pulls out of the tournament and gets a job as the CFO of Netflix.
Herman Blume Vs. Klaus Daimler
Wow, this was a tough one. Klaus is random even in a random world. However, Herman is Bill Murray at his finest. His duel with Fischer and his basketball blocking moves cannot be topped. Klaus and Herman Blume become fast friends and Klaus bows out graciously because he does not want to face his best friend Steve Zissou later on in the tournament.
Steve Zissou Vs. Rosemary Cross
Cross is a heartbreaker who never tries to break hearts. Max Fischer was young and Herman Blume was depressed so they were perfect candidates to fall into her non-trap. Zissou is so into Zissou that after a brief flirtation he choses to head back to sea to capitalize on the Jaguar shark momentum. Zissou wins due to his promise to fund an aquarium at the school.
The tournament has come down to the elite eight. These eight characters will meet soon to decided the fantastic four. Make sure to comment on the bracket and let me know who you think should win.
Share this post:
Wes Anderson Madness: Divisional Round Two
Hello all. Mark here.
The Wes Anderson character tournament is gaining some steam and making its way to the exciting finale. There is has been a lot of speculation as to who will win.
A pre-tournament poll and Vegas odds makers have put Max Fischer as the favorite to win. He will need to stretch this week because he has a big match up against Ash in a couple of days.
As promised I am going to break down the Portuguese Bowie and Wildcat divisions. The competition will be fierce and the one liners will be plenty.
The first match up in the Portuguese Bowie division is between Eli Cash and Mr. Henry. Henry’s boxing chops are legit but he cannot withstand getting hit by a runaway car driven by a face painted Cash. The Wildcat wins!
The next match up is between Raleigh St. Clair and Royal Tenenbaum. St. Clair is no match for the twice stabbed Royal. The winner comes when Mr. Tenenbaum promises to fund St. Clair’s research for another two years….and pay for his divorce to Margot.
The next battle is between Dignan and Inez. A just released from prison Dignan is already annoyed that Inez stole Anthony from him. So, he puts some tape on his nose and promises he will clean her house for two months if she lets him move forward. She agrees to the terms and Dignan puts another piece of tape on his nose.
To finish out the bracket is a face off between Pagoda and Margot Tenenbaum. Margot knows that Pagoda carries a tiny knife and has used it twice. She looks at her missing finger and decides that it isn’t worth the trouble of advancing. So, she smokes a cigarette and books a trip to Fiji.
The Wildcat Division
Herman Blume takes on the kindest character in the Wes Anderson world. Blume used his mail interception tricks to make sure Bert Fischer never got the notification that he was in the tournament. Don’t worry folks….Blume gets his hair cut by Bert and he tips well.
Ned Plimpton may have gotten the final slap on Klaus but Klaus got all the great lines. Daimler is a quip dynamo who proved to be too quotable for Kentucky Ned.
Jane Winslet Richardson proved herself to be an intelligent and mature force not to be messed with. However, when she met Rosemary Cross she started acting in incredibly immature ways which gets her disqualified from the tournament.
Steve Zissou is Pele dos Santos captain. So, Pele graciously backs down and starts playing acoustic Portuguese versions of Hall & Oates songs.
The tournament is down to 16 characters. Each of them has a chance to win and the fighting will become epic. Stayed tuned to the next post when I break down the brackets to the elite 8. Who will move on?
Share this post:
Big Budget Bonanza: Total Recall
Total Recall is a total Len Wiseman film. Here is a perfect synopsis of Wiseman from Grantland:
“This is the guy responsible for vomiting the Underworld films onto moviegoers, and was the director who thought it was a good idea to have John McClane jump off the tail of a fighter jet onto a decrepit freeway and slide away from a fireball in Live Free or Die Hard.”
This remake looks to be loaded with loud noises, visual splendor and Kate Beckinsale kicking people in the face.
I feel like people have forgotten that Colin Farrell is a really good actor. In the recent years he has done solid work in In Bruges and Fright Night. Hollywood has finally stopped lumping him in bad action films and let him do his own thing.
If anything this will be a whiz-bang remake that boasts a stellar cast and a visual flair reminiscent of Blade Runner. Do not get mad! I said “it looks like Blade Runner.” I’m quoting Grantland again about their hilarious Jessica Biel comments. They wrote that her performance will involve “squinting and pointing guns….she’ll be fine.”
This movie will not reinvent the wheel but it will reintroduce the lady with three boobs that captivated millions of generation Xers. Don’t expect a brave new world. Expect a Biel vs. Beckinsale brawl and Colin Farrell kicking, shooting and flashing (Chuck reference) his way through hundreds of bad guys.
The best part is that there will be a super long monologue by Ethan Hawke (Mr. Generation X).
Movies, Films & Flix 