Warrior (2011) [a second opinion]
MY CALL: MMA fighters are tough, but those who face life’s most trying dealt hands are tougher. Between the exquisitely written characters, engaging fights and solid guy-cry, I can’t remember feeling so affected…and it felt amazing. I don’t give out many A’s without caveats, but this gets an A+! IF YOU LIKE THIS, WATCH: While considerably less intense, Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale brought The Fighter to gritty life. As did The Wrestler. Then get back to the root of it all with Rocky, Rocky IV and Rocky Balboa! CAST: Joel Edgerton (Animal Kingdom, The Thing 2011), Tom Hardy (Inception, Bane of The Dark Knight Rises, Charles Bronson of Bronson), Nick Nolte (Tropic Thunder, Hulk, Cape Fear). SIDEBAR: This is a second opinion. The Hof reviewed this movie when it was in theaters. Here’s his review.
This story follows an emotionally scarred family trio. Brendan Conlon (Joel Edgerton) is a high school physics teacher who returns to his former profession (MMA fighter) for extra money to keep his home afloat from foreclosure. When this financially desperate decision results in his suspension without pay, he has no choice but to engage in mixed martial arts full time. Meanwhile Brendan’s brother Tommy (Tom Hardy) returns home from serving with the Marines, arriving at the doorstep of his father (Nick Nolte as Paddy Conlon) and eventually seeking him out as a trainer for a grand prix MMA tournament which will recognize the toughest middleweight fighter in the world…the tournament is called Sparta!
This already has all the trappings of a good sports fighting movie. However, we soon learn that Tommy has not a warm ounce in his heart for his alcoholic father, who trains Tommy desperately hoping to find some vestige of reciprocal love in his unflaggingly resentful son. Paddy also yearns to reconnect with Brendan, who shuns his destroyed father despite the fact that one of his little girls has never met her grandfather. As if this wasn’t enough, the enmity Tommy feels for his older brother is yet more vicious than that reserved for his father.
By composition this is an anti-fight-movie, but somehow it strikes me as the greatest fight movie since Rocky! The standard formula of a boxing movie relies on several key elements, all such rules of which are broken in Warrior. 1) Extensive training scenes demonstrate the fighter’s hardship and devotion—training scenes in this film are minimal and seem more informative about mixed martial arts than demonstrative of the hardship or devotion. 2) The fighter turns to his family for support to overcome the training and insecurity of the upcoming fight—the only family under the lens here is a sundered father and sons who all turn to the fights to escape their family’s general paucity of love and forgiveness. 3) The fighter has a resistant loved one and his relationship is tested—Brendan’s wife, while clearly not a fan of the idea, makes no concerted effort or threat to keep her husband out of the ring. 4) The actual fights are few in number and serve as highlight montages, building up to post-victory catharsis—these fights are extensive, numerous, and view reel-to-reel as if complete, with most catharsis delivered “during” the fights! 5) The fighter faces an unlikeable (or at least very arrogant in the case of Rocky’s Apollo Creed) or even evil antagonist—the antagonist in this film is the Conlon brothers’ unwillingness to forgive. The single major element that the classics have in common with Warrior is that Brendan is the ultimate underdog and, like Rocky Balboa, fights from the heart. You never think he should be able to defeat his opponents, but you believe it when he does it!
While this movie is not so much about who wins the fight, it is still very much about victory. Nick Nolte plays the damaged, AA-devout, alcoholic Paddy to perfection. He drove his family apart and crumbles whenever he is reminded of the monster he once was and is horrified by the thought of becoming that monster again. He serves as the bone on which his children sharpen their fangs. Amid this loveless viciousness, this film manages to pull the audience from feeling irreparably beaten, to excited and motivated, and ultimately inspired—perhaps awestruck. The fights were thrilling, shocking and technically stunning. On the softer side, my throat tightened up more times than I care to admit and culminated in some serious guy-crying in the same five minutes that I was screaming at the screen during the final fight as if I had money riding on it. I can’t remember feeling so affected…and it felt amazing.
This movie isn’t for MMA fans, it’s for everyone. As long as everyone is old enough, make a family movie night out of it.
Don’t miss this one. Don’t you dare!
John: out!
Share this post:
Bad Movie Tuesday: Apollo 18: Review #2
John already wrote a wonderful review for this film. However, days after watching this flick I can’t let some of the questions go. I understood Tree of Life, Inception and Donnie Darko but Apollo has left me baffled. Apollo 18 is a question farm. I’ve never watched a film that raised so many questions.
I don’t get this movie and that is why I love it. It is like a never-ending wormhole of questions. Alice’s Rabbit Hole makes more sense than this film. In a day and age when movies have to be cohesive and coherent this movie breaks the trend and commits to confusing.
You have to admire a film that answers ZERO questions. Why should you admire this? Today’s horror movies answer all the questions we don’t need answers for. For instance, The new Halloween and Nightmare on Elm Street gave Michael Myers and Freddy a back story. The Texas Chainsaw remake answered how fast Leatherface can run the 40-yard dash (4.34 seconds). To top it all off The Thing prequel showed how the alien got to earth.
What do all of these answers have in common? I didn’t want to know any of them. The scariest thing is the unknown. Apollo 18 is not scary it just leaves you scratching your head. The more you see of it the less you know.
What do you know? This movie features footage that NASA discovered in space. They don’t even discuss how or where they found it.
SPOILER ALERT
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
The end of the film features a space pod loaded with moon rock spiders colliding into an orbiting shuttle. How could they possibly have found the footage? the poster says they never went back to the moon but they must have landed to get the footage. Also, if the shuttle broke to pieces wouldn’t the film have been exposed and ruined.? I know NASA have their secrets but KODAK space film isn’t one of them….or is it?
Something strange happened when NASA got a hold of the space footage. They decided to edit it into a horror film. Is all NASA footage like this? Do the video editors have a sense of humor? I know NASA needs funding so after Paranormal Activity maybe they dusted off the footage and released it as a movie. I’m hoping they have a Apollo 19 film involving moon rock spiders the size of godzilla.
What I love most about this film are the moon rock spiders. The rock spiders steal American flags and dig themselves in unlucky astronauts bodies. Eventually, a spider gets into one the suits and buries itself into the man’s ribs.
Sidenote: He is lucky he didn’t get the Orlando Jones treatment in Evolution. If a moon rock spider got into my nether regions I’d need more than ice cream to make it better.
The guy who gets a rock in his rib starts acting all funky. Is he turning evil? Is the poison affecting him weird? Do the moon spiders have a toxin that makes you act like a jerk? If the rock spider is so smart why doesn’t it go further into his guts and kill him? fellow writer John tried to answer the toxin quagmire and ended up threatening an ecology and evolutionary lecture. This movie has a way of flustering people. Hal the super computer from 2001 would short-circuit explaining this movie.
The moon rock spiders kill all communications, slash a hole in the pod insulation and harass the poor astronauts. The reason is never explained. My girlfriend had the closest theory when one of the astronauts takes a rock she said “give me back those rocks.”
So, the simplest deduction is that they are angry about the rock theft. It is like how you can’t take petrified wood from state parks…except the wood doesn’t become an angry spider.
Watch this film. Is it real? Is it fake? Why are moon rocks so angry? Will there be a Apollo 19? Are questions farms real? Why is it impossible to stop asking Apollo questions? Must close computer……
Share this post:
The Expendables: Extended Director’s Cut
If you have not watched The Expendables here is a brief synopsis:
“A bunch of badass good guys kill South American bad guys with very big guns, knives and biceps.”
The budget for The Expendables was $80 million. Other films like Sherlock 2, Transformers and X-Men: First Class had budgets of around $200 million. Thus, Stallone wasn’t able to entirely capture the vision he wanted due to time and money constraints. The theatrical cut made a lot of money but he had to edit a lot out in order to appease the studios and his investors.
The extended cut is the film that Stallone intended. He added in ten more minutes that flesh out the characters and their back stories. The director’s cut has been out for a while and I really wanted to see it. However, I own the original Blu-ray so I didn’t want to buy the new version. Luckily, I was able to rent it on my PS3.
I dug the majority of the added scenes. Dolph Lundgren gets the best treatment of the bunch. The new cut has him talking about being a Viking. There is a scene where he wants to hang a pirate and says “it is a Viking tradition.” Also, when Dolph gets shot there is a great bit of dialogue between he and Stallone that made the rental worth it. Here it is:
Dolph: “I want a viking funeral.”
Stallone: “What? Like we put you in a boat and light you on fire?”
Dolph: “That’s right.”
Stallone “You are not a viking.”
Dolph: “So what, who cares?”
Later Stallone is telling Statham about the viking funeral and how he wants his ashes spread in the ocean. Statham quips “That will poison about 1,000 miles……actually, more like a million miles.”
Dolph + Viking Funeral = Money well spent.
Jet Li talks more about how he needs money. I love the scenes where he tries to get more cash. He talks about his kids..yet he doesn’t have kids. He says he is little and has to do more work..thus, more cash. I loved that he is a shady little guy that must have a gambling problem.
Randy Couture talks more about his cauliflower ear. Terry Crews talks about his kids and Stallone and Statham get to bicker longer. I’m happy Stallone didn’t add any more of Rourke’s heavy breathing monologue.
The biggest problem is the love story between Jason Statham and Charisma Carpenter. It all stems from her dating the biggest turd in recent film history .The guy is a poorly realized meathead that is there so Jason can beat him up.
The Nu-metal in the film hurts the soul as well. It seems like he couldn’t afford Metallica so he got a Metallica cover band who also writes original music.
If you liked The Expendables you will like this. It provides no new revelations but you do get to hear Dolph talking about Vikings.
Share this post:
Young Adult
This film is unique, tough and unpredictable.
I didn’t want to see Young Adult. Sitting through another depressed attractive person film was not high on my list. I wondered after Up in the Air why Jason Reitman would have taken such a big step back. However, this film was on a bunch of top ten lists of 2011. So, I began to read up on it.
I watched Young Adult yesterday and I’m realizing that Diablo Cody and Reitman have created a totally unique character. She is an anti-hero that is unpredictable, insane and drunk. You cannot sum up Mavis Gary easily because she breaks the mold. Mavis is drunk and in arrested development but you never see her as a clichéd “Drunk Mavis” or “Evil Mavis.” What you witness is a character that is smart enough to survive in a world she hasn’t adapted to.
Sidenote: Theron is in arrested development in this film. Do not confuse her with her Mr. F character in the hilarious television show Arrested Development.
The movie focuses on a divorced author (Theron) who returns home from the big city of Minneapolis in order to win her high school boyfriend back. The problem is that her ex (Patrick Wilson) is a happily married family man. Theron is convinced he is unhappy and she wants him back.
Along the way she picks up a drinking buddy/sounding board played by Patton Oswalt. They went to high school together until he was beaten brutally in a hate crime. The athletes beat him because they thought he was gay (he is not). The two are stuck in differing forms of limbo and play well off of each other due to alcohol and bitterness. Patton listens to the beautiful woman despite the fact that he thinks she is crazy and that her mission will not succeed.
You HOPE that Charlize will not succeed in her mission. The scenes with her and Patrick are more tense than many of action films. There is a feeling of dread every time she gets around Patrick. I kept wishing that Mavis would not break up the nice couple.
What happens is surprising and smart. You could easily write the film off as slight and superficial. However, Mavis is masterfully crafted monster. Some critics complain the ending feels to dream like. However, I understood completely what her actions meant. this film was a tight rope act that pulled off the unthinkable. It made a horrible good-looking person likable.
Watch this film. Enjoy the unexpected. Use the word “dour” to describe it.
Share this post:
Hugo
Hugo is a blast of niceness. It is a love letter to the magic of cinema. The film is innocent, imaginative and beautiful. Kids should be watching Hugo and not all the disposable Chipmunk, Smurf and Zookeeper nonsense.
Martin Scorsese has crafted a wonderful 3D experience that left my girlfriend and I smiling. There are so many nice scenes in this film and the 3D brings it all together in a non obtrusive way.
The story focuses on a young orphan named Hugo Cabret. Hugo lives alone at a train station and keeps all the clocks running. He also steals small parts from a toy store in hopes to finish the automaton that he and his deceased dad were building. All of the stories tie together nicely and most importantly there are no evil bad guys.
It seems like most of the people watching this film are adults who love Scorsese. This is a shame because Hugo could ignite children’s imaginations and have them thinking bigger. The kids in this flick build, read, climb, imagine and learn. Hugo is based on kindness and an innocence rarely achieved.
Hugo will put a smile on your face. It will also make you hope for the preservation of old cinema and all its magic.
Share this post:
John’s Horror Corner: Apollo 18 (2011), pretty much a story about moon rock spider biology and unlucky astronauts
MY CALL: Solid story-telling and a nifty idea, sadly ill-complemented by poor delivery from no follow-through on that nifty idea, make this movie tolerably entertaining. However, the Hof and I could never recommend this one for those looking for scares or great sci-fi-horror twists [C-]. WHAT TO WATCH INSTEAD: I really expected something more like White Noise, Paranormal Activity or its sequel (but not Paranormal Activity 3). You know—slow, observation-based, tension-building creepers. IF YOU LIKE THIS, WATCH: If you want weird, creepy or space mission-gone-wrong maybe try Mission to Mars or Red Planet. Hellishly wrong? Then Event Horizon or Pandorum. DRINKING MOVIE STATUS: Please do. TRAILER: Click here and read how excited I was about this movie. Key word: was.
This movie was way worse than it’s prequel Apollo 13–if they only managed to sign Tom Hanks again this would have been a hit. Not the case, though. Had there been a shortage of Bad Movie Tuesday material, Apollo 18 surely would have been a candidate. This movie had some serious potential…
[Soylent green. Don’t eat it. JUST SAY NO.]
1. A somewhat over-played, but still neat idea.
Yeah, I know. Alien infestations span SyFy movies-of-the-week (Contamination) and box office hits (Species, Alien) alike. They’re just plain fun, often full of “oh shit” jumps that leave you smiling and excited for whatever’s next.
2. Characters that you care about.
The backstory was elaborate and allows us to invest in these guys on this mission. They’re regular guys (other than being astronauts, of course) who care about grilling, beer, their families and are stoked to launch into space. Just the “aw, shucks” appeal that you don’t want to see getting Slapchopped by some aliens.
3. Excellent use of a super-tiny budget.
The effects may have clearly been of dated quality. But it didn’t matter a bit! Everything I needed to see could be viewed as well as it needed to be. I never wanted for more. That takes careful planning.
This probably all sounds like a big bunch of awesome, right?
[“HELP! I’ve got a thing inside my thing!”]
So what went wrong?
Random things happen with no explanation.
Don’t get me wrong. It was exciting that I never knew why Michael Myers wanted to kill his sister in Halloween. Not everything needs to be explained. But damn, some things do? We see dudes get “infected” in two different ways. We have no idea if the infection is the aliens’ toxin, or just space bacteria. We only seem to encounter one alien species…so what the shit are they eating up there on the moon!?!?! And don’t you tell me each other unless you’re prepared to be lectured on ecology and evolutionary biology! These aliens also have the best camouflage of all known organisms ever. May as well have been magic! Oh, right, and why did this mission even launch? You could come up with a reason. But when you see how the movie ends, you realize there is no good explanation justifying this mission. Wait! I know the reason…so that they could make this movie while not having to stress over good writing and a coherent story.
[He should have used protection.]
I’m at the end of my rope here. So here’s a brief SPOILER: this movie is about “rock spiders.” You heard me right: rock spiders! Or, more like rocks that are werespiders! Here are some examples of what I think the alien should have looked like instead…werespiders!
P. S. I feel guilty that I was entertained by this movie.
[Thank God for gamers and RPG geeks that can draw, right?]
John: OUT!
Share this post:
Contagion
Contagion is a tightly knit film that successfully intertwines multiple story lines involving a rapidly spreading pandemic. The story takes you everywhere from Atlanta to Hong Kong, and features 37% of all the A-list actors on the planet.
The movie starts with Gwyneth Paltrow contracting the disease while visiting Hong Kong. She unwittingly brings it back to Minnesota, and is dead within days. Luckily, her husband Matt Damon is immune to the disease and we’re able to see the chaos through his eyes. I liked his story the most because his character is allowed to travel freely throughout the chaos ridden world.
The rest of the movie follows Laurence Fishburne, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Marion Cotillard, Brian Cranston, Elliot Gould and Enrico Colantoni as they search for a cure, or try to slow down the spreading of the pandemic.
Director Steven Soderbergh is a master of the ensemble cast. He’s conquered the heist film (Ocean’s 11) and brought every walk of life together for Traffic. In less capable hands, this could have been a detached debacle of wandering celebrities spouting scientific dialogue or preaching about what humanity should do in a crisis.
I like Contagion because It has a detached nature that looks at an immense crisis with calm and intelligent eyes. If you like 37% of all the A-listers using big words, you will appreciate this film.
Check out John’s review here.
Share this post:
Jack Reacher
Jack Reacher will have a long life on TNT or FX. Why? Because, it plays it safe, features a megastar and has enough action and mystery to satisfy a viewer on a rainy day. This is not a bad thing. Not every film has to be life changing or feature Daniel Day Lewis talking about milkshakes. It is a blue collar film that uses the Pittsburgh location well and features a Chevelle SS driving very fast. The problem is amidst the blue collar is an unnecessarily shirtless Cruise. He is believable when hanging off the world’s tallest building or being a hot shot pilot. However, put him in old henleys and dive bars and he doesn’t belong. Tom Cruise can play a sleek spy but he is lost when playing a dude. It is like watching Tom Hanks flounder in Larry Crowne or Russel Crowe fall into a pool in a slapstick manner. I applaud Cruise for trying to bring a famous literary character to life but it seems like his ego got in the way of a better film.
Jack Reacher made me want to watch The Lincoln Lawyer. Matthew McConaughey fully embodied everything that Mickey Haller represented. Smart, charismatic and not perfect. He is a twice divorced man who drinks too much yet is great at his job. The movie came out of nowhere and received an 83% Rotten Tomatoes rating and made enough money to justify a sequel. The movie worked because of the perfect casting and faithfulness to the book. It seemed like everyone was on board to tell a good story and put their egos aside. Jack Reacher feels like pure ego. For instance, every woman in Pittsburgh loves Reacher and he constantly makes poor Rosamund Pike blush.
Jack Reacher is the story of a man who kicks a lot of butt, has no phone, address, PO box, time share or friends. He is a loner who rights wrongs and enjoys flannel shirts.
The best part of this film is that he has to battle the evil Werner Herzog and his henchman Jai Courtney (Spartacus, John McClaine’s son in upcoming Die Hard). They are two murderous foreigners who love money and chopping off fingers. They add a believable level of menace and German accents. Courtney opens the film with a brutal massacre and frames it on a solider who has a past with Reacher. Reacher comes to town and punches people in their knees and avoids baseball bat wielding hooligans. The movie moves at a brisk pace and never meanders. What this film is lacking is exactly what I thought director Christopher McQuarrie (Way of the Gun, Usual Suspects writer) would provide. The film is supposed to be a blue collar white knuckler where you feel the hits and the engines roaring. It should have been efficient, dangerous and with 50% less perfect fitting leather jackets bought from Goodwill.
I did appreciate several moments of the film. I want to adopt Robert Duvall and the final fight and big car chase were believable. The final fight between Cruise and Jai is a highlight of the film despite it’s technical deficiencies. The hits actually hurt and do real damage. There is no Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol fighting here. When you get punched in the face you fall down. Also, the car chase is a highlight because Reacher is not an F1 driver and he drives his stolen Chevelle SS the best he can while chasing the bad guys and being followed by the cops.
I did not dislike Jack Reacher. It has some cool moments and you can tell Cruise wanted it to be a great film and eventual franchise. Check it out when it hits TNT or FX. In the meantime watch The Lincoln Lawyer. Shameless John Leguizamo plug!
Share this post:
One Day
SPOILER ALERT: Key elements of the plot will be discussed in a satirical way that discusses the badness in a non negative way.
Lovers of the book/film can sum this up as the redemption of a smirking/selfish man at the hands of a decent/patient woman.
However, for me this film can be summed up by an annoyed look. I watched this movie with my girlfriend Megan and co-writer John. 30 minutes into the film I looked over and John’s face was a mixture of annoyance and disbelief. I’ve watched many bad movies with John and I’ve never seen an annoyed look like that.
I wasn’t surprised by the look. The reason I rented the film was because the trailer was laughable. It features the Movie Voice Guy doing a booming narration while the two English people live unhappily for twenty years.
I figured the movie would be cheeky bad. However, it becomes “bad bad” because the two characters are so unlikable. Jim Sturgess constantly smirks and acts drugged. Also, in an attempt to make Hathaway less attractive they had her wearing circular glasses that made her look like Harry Potter’s muggle sister. The two spend twenty years in a love/hate friendship in which many hairstyles are explored.
The director and screenwriter went out of their way to make us not like Sturgess. I don’t blame Sturgess. I blame the director for allowing him to be so terrible. His mom has cancer and he won’t spend time with her. He is a Lothario. He is the worst talk show host ever (according to the British press in the movie). Hathaway doesn’t get better treatment. She is in a relationship with a nice/sponge of a man who really cared for her. Hathaway makes it a loveless relationship for years and pushes the poor guy into alcohol and depression….Even when she dumps him he is kind to her and encourages her writing (a fact he only knew about that day).
Eventually, Jim gets divorced and he FINALLY gets together with Anne. They become happy and she gets crushed by a runaway bus.
Sidenote: John called the scene before it happened. Hathaway was riding her bike looking happy and John yelled out “City of Angels!”……then smoosh. I still don’t get the reference but I understood what he was getting at.
Don’t watch One Day. Watch Serendipity. It takes them a while to get together but at least you like John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale
Share this post:
Bad Movie Tuesday: In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds
Or as it is called in Latvia: Dolph may be in the Dark Ages but he wears a stylish scarf.
When I first heard that Uwe Boll (Bloodrayne, Alone in the Dark, Blubberella) was directing the Swedish sensation I jumped out of my chair and metaphorically front kicked all the patrons at Pinera Bread.
Why was I so excited? I knew I was about to watch a movie with an $8 budget and a seven-day shooting schedule. The dialogue would be on par with a lemur stomping on a keyboard and the costume design nonexistent (People in the background wear jeans). Bad Movie Platinum.
.
The opening of the movie features Dolph beating up six people with ease. He then drinks some whiskey and is attacked by ninjas. A portal opens up and Dolph is magically transported to a mythical world that has poor hygiene but still managed to conquer time travel. Dolph does what any tall Swede would do after time travel… he promptly punches a man off of a horse.
The world Ehb is in trouble from “evil ones” and the only person that can save it is Dolph Lundgren. His mission is to kill a woman called Old Mother and save the world from darkness, blow darts and bad acting.
Sidenote: This is the only film where you will say “Did Dolph just kill a guy by stabbing him in the lower back?” Also, Dolph is cornered and he tells his attackers “I will take four of you Pu**ys with me and you know it.”
I love that all 20 people in Ehb speak in a medieval tongue while Dolph uses modern-day slang. He even goes as far to say his name Granger helps him get laid.
He calls people bitches, crazy bastards, morons, punks and tells people to shove stuff up their butts. He also never changes out of his clothes and says lines like this “I started my day with a protein shake and ended it by sleeping in a medieval hut.”
A large battle occurs the next day featuring 20 extras. They are armed with swords, knives and clubs. Dolph bests them with fists, front kicks and headbutts. He also tells the healer they can make antibiotics from moldy cheese.
Dolph eventually has to battle a dragon. It was a good thing Dolph had his protein shake because this dragon loves to light peasants on fire. disappointingly, he never gets to punch the dragon in the face because he goes to back to the future and fights the evil king in his duplex.
QUICK QUESTION: Dolph drowns the evil king in his Duplex bath tub. What will he do with the body? How do you explain a man in renaissance fair garb dead in your bathroom? Sequel?
This film makes the 1994 JCVD semi-classic Time Cop seem like Shakespeare directed by Orson Welles.
Don’t watch this movie. Leave the bad Dolph films to me. Enjoy life, nature and the pursuit of front kicks.
Movies, Films & Flix 