Bad Movie Tuesday: The Good Bad, the Bad Bad and the Ugly Bad of Summer
Summer wouldn’t be summer without bad movies. big budgets, bad writing and recycled plots. These films enter the theaters hoping for big opening weekends and international grosses.
I’ve put together the first annual Bad Summer Movie Awards and I’m awarding the multiple bad films that have graced the cinemas this summer.
1.Movie Poster that raises the most inadvertent questions about how a guy could get on top of thousands of skulls award
2.I spilled coca cola on my girlfriend while at the Drive-in and when we looked up the movie was over award.
Super 8. Decent film but it ends incredibly abrupt and leaves you scratching your head…Not only was I a bit disappointed with the movie but I had lost most of my soda.
3. Didn’t I see a better version of this a couple of years ago award?
The Hangover Part 2 follows all the rules of sequels. Bigger, badder, meaner, grosser, angrier, unfunnier, dumber, longer. It almost loses every bit of good will The Hangover amassed
4. Most hilarious use of that guy with the deep voice who talks on the previews award.
Hearing the guys booming voice while he says “One day a year these good-looking white people find love and companionship” had me laughing in the theater.
5. MFF award for achievement in making two very bad movies starring a bored Paul Bettany as an angel/priest award.
6. The only movie in the world that can be described as milquetoast.
I felt zero emotions towards this movie. Nothing about it evoked any type of reaction. I didn’t even think about this during the movie because thinking this would have evoked emotions.
7. How can a movie called Final Destination have four sequels award?
8. How were they able to rip 0ff 117 films during 100 minutes award?
Yes, Priest is the Gone With the Wind of the Moviesfilmsandflix summer awards.
9. Why is Mickey Rourke flying on Megan Fox’s back Award?
If you made it through Passion Play you find out Rourke is dead and Fox is an angel he saved from Bill Murray.
10.Movie I thought I would hate yet didn’t hate despite it giving me every reason to hate it award.
Transformers 3. Better than the second, not as good as the first, sorta fun
11.Worst movie of the summer/year/last year/near future/post-apocalyptic future award
Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides
200 Million Dollar Budget
One Billion Dollar World Wide Gross
3-D aplenty
0 Fun + 0 Originality = An Annoyed Hofmeyer
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Contagion
By John Leavengood
MY CALL: I really liked Outbreak, but this simply blew it out of the water! If movies were rated based on the seriousness of their content, this would be the “R” to Outbreak’s “PG.” This gets a solid “A+” without question and I imagine that this will be an Academy Award nominee for set design and music, if not more. IF YOU LIKE THIS, WATCH: Outbreak (1995).
I’ll just start by saying “WOW!” Sure, this movie had a legion of A-listers including an excellent director, yet still this movie exceeded my already high expectations. While its pace was consistently somewhat slow, the content, in turn, was consistently interesting, socially revealing and gripping.
This movie follows the outbreak of a novel and swiftly lethal virus from patient zero. With a short incubation period, the highly contagious strain raises the CDC’s concern readily ensued by the panic of the masses. The medical community scrambles in a losing race against time as the numbers of infected and dead patients grow at a staggering pace. Controversy, capitalism, distrust…all are likely products of slowly-solved epidemics.
The cast flawlessly conveys the very best and worst of human qualities responding to a deteriorating society and economy. Panic, desperation, fear and altruism are all tactfully delivered with humbling realism. Adding to the already palpable emotions of the characters was the tension-setting music which, coupled with the concept of this movie, shall haunt my thoughts. More than once I questioned how I would react in these situations.
FUN FACTS: This movie features Matt Damon, Gwenyth Paltrow and Jude Law, who were all in The Talented Mr. Ripley. Matt Damon and Elliott Gould, both of whom starred in Steven Soderbergh’s Ocean’s franchise, were reunited for their fourth film together.
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Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil
I loved this flick. It is a hilarious take on the slasher genre.
Two hillbillies buy a summer home in the woods. Along the way college kids mistake them for killers. Awesomeness occurs. I loved how Tucker and Dale are incredibly nice guys who just think that college kids are killing themselves around them.
Alan Tudyk (Firefly, Knight’s Tale) and Tyler Labine (Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Reaper) are pitch perfect as the two guys who just want to fix up their summer home, drink beer and fish. I loved all their reactions at the crazy things going on around them.
I loved the concept of this film. It reminded me of Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon.
Any time you can take the horror genre and spin it on its head it is a beautiful thing.
The biggest problem with this film is that the previews gave most of the laughs away. However, the only way to hook people on the concept is to have them watch the preview. It is a double-edged sword.
Hopefully, you will just take my word and rent the film On Itunes, On Demand, or PS3. It is ten dollars but well worth it. Support the film, recommend it, and enjoy the niceness that is Tucker and Dale.
If you do want to watch the trailer check out the September Movie Preview.
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Friends With Benefits
By John Leavengood
MY CALL: Justin Timberlake is always great, but this is the first time that Mila Kunis ever won me over with a role. Their chemistry is narcotically addictive, the movie is very well-written and I left feeling happy. I give this a solid “A”. IF YOU LIKE THIS, WATCH: 40 Days and 40 Nights, one of my Desert Island movies.
The story follows Dylan, an artistic web designer turned GQ artistic director by Jamie, a NY head hunter, as he moves to NY and they form a friendship…and then some. The first few minutes gave the writers a chance to prove that you weren’t wasting your time with this movie. We are monsooned by a clever mix of classic and rather risqué anecdotal break-up quips as both Dylan (the ever-charming Justin Timberlake) and Jamie (the saucy Mila Kunis) both find themselves single again via synchronous break-ups. They both make the same claim: that they’ll essentially be sexually aloof and just enjoy themselves.
For some reason the movie depicts LA folks like they’re from some kind of cow town—extra cautious about crossing the street, mild-mannered, socially naïve, non-confrontational and claustrophobic in the skyscraper-rich concrete jungle. Likewise, New Yorkers come off as more in-your-face and edgy. I really think of LA as sort of a drier NY with a tan, but otherwise city folks are city folks. Despite the constant flinging of pro-NY propaganda both actors are their naturally charismatic, audience-pleasing selves.
The first (sex) scene that lives up to the movie’s title is a hilariously endearing and very chatty session which seems like a rehearsal before filming a how-to instructional video on sex. Great moments of this movie include a sex scene montage with a lot of well-placed and relatable dialogue, Woody Harrelson thinking JT is gay, every single Shaun White cameo scene, JT rapping and busting out some old school Criss Cross, and Woody Harrelson choosing Shaun White over Barrack Obama for a GQ cover. Yup, that’s what America has been reduced to.
With small roles, the brilliantly cast Jenna Elfman (Dharma & Greg), Nolan Gould (TV’s Modern Family), and Richard Jenkins (HBO’s Six Feet Under, Burn After Reading) are the sister, nephew and father you want to bring a girl home to meet. All actors do a perfect job of showing us that they see what Dylan and Jamie don’t. It reminds me of my own friends waving their hands at me saying “it’s nothing serious” or “we’re just friends” and then getting a wedding invitation a year later. It’s so cute when they don’t see it yet, isn’t it?
Kunis and Timberlake’s on screen chemistry is so strong that it just made me feel good whenever they were interacting with one another. The movie gets tactfully real a bit towards the end, but it should come as no spoiler alert that you feel all warm and fuzzy at the end. This adorable RomCom is well worth the watch.
Here’s the trailer from our July Preview.
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Bad Movie Tuesday: Jonah Hex
This movie never had a chance.
Even fellow moviesfilmsandflix writer John Leavengood couldn’t find positives in this film. “I hadn’t felt so much regret since the last time I ate a Hot Pocket. I couldn’t even find a way to enjoy writing a scathing review about it.”
I’ve decided to write a review about how it went comically wrong.
1. The directors of Crank left the movie two weeks before filming because the script wasn’t good. When the directors of Crank and Drive Angry leave a film because the writing is bad you know you have a problem.
2. The directing duo were replaced by the guy who directed the animated film Horton Hears a Who. Think about this. Joe Johnston (Captain America, The Rocketeer) was given only two weeks to prepare for The Wolfman. Johnston is a great director and made a subpar flick with two weeks prep. The poor Horton guy’s only hope was to film something coherent that could be edited together. He didn’t succeed.
3. The script wasn’t even finished when production started and it features a Confederate soldier who can talk to dead people. He also has to deal with an odd accented Megan Fox and do battle with a worringly bloated John Malkovich.
In a nerdtastic perfect world this film should have been great. A western/sci-fi combo that starred Josh Brolin, Michael Fassbender, John Malkovich, Will Arnett, Megan Fox, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Wes Bentley, Aidan Quinn, Michael Shannon and Lance Reddick. There are some premier actors in this list. It was Josh Brolin’s baby and he brought in the entire cast. This was a film he was passionate about.
In the end, Jonah Hex was an “82 minute huh?” I found myself asking what was going on nearly every scene. I wondered how much was edited out and how much the studio must have interfered with the film because there was nothing sensical in front of me. The scenes in this film are incoherent. Jonah is supposed to be able to talk to dead people. So, naturally he wakes up a dead tortured corpse to pester him about the whereabouts of drunken Malkovich. This is the only time he talks to a dead person.
Also, in one scene Will Arnett is a serious union general….
Then, he is on a boat that gets leveled by a cannon….You are still wondering why he was in the movie well after he is Cannon fodder.
Also, it makes you fear for John Malkovich’s life. I have never seen a more bloated human in my life.
If you look at the poster and picture above you will notice that Brolin, Fox and Fassbender all have full body pics. However, you only vaguely see Malkovich’s head.
The same pattern is featured on the individual posters.
They can’t even put his entire head in the poster. In the poster on the top of the review they put hair over his face. Thus, maybe John knew something that nobody else knew so he drank away every cent he made on the film.
After leaving the theater I was still scratching my head in amazement. What kind of parallel universe allowed this film to happen? What did the executives think after watching ? In a world of sensical movies it was a breath of fresh air to see a film that dared to make zero sense. The greatest thing is that it is based on a DC Comic. A comic that could have spelled out the entire film and they chose not to follow it. This movie makes Sucker Punch’s plot seem coherent.
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Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark
Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark
By John Leavengood
MY CALL: This was not so scary, but entertaining. It felt like it should have been a 30-minute short in an episodic movie composed of three eerie del Toro-visualized tales. The concept and story were great, just…stretched too thin. [I’ll give it a “B”] IF YOU LIKE THIS, WATCH: The Hellboy movies and Pan’s Labyrinth showcase del Toro’s creature innovations and unique take on mythology in appropriate doses. Also, check out the original from 1973.
This is the story of a child from a sundered family seeking acceptance in an ancient, perhaps cursed, home whose impish inhabitants want to be her friends. Guillermo del Toro did some great work with this movie. The creatures were spooky, diminutive and off-putting works of CGI art. The star victem was perfect as a naïve, displaced child. Even Katie Holmes did a good job (and I hate her, so that’s hard for me to say). Yet somehow del Toro’s take on the movie (a remake of a 1973 TV-movie sensation) was just missing something.
I was quite taken by the beguilingly creepy whispers of his evil shadow fairies. I loved the set design and lighting effects. I really enjoyed the attention to the mythology of his wee darklings. But most of this was delivered to me in the first 15-30 minutes of the movie. However enamoring this all was, I found myself waiting for something different to happen as the movie continued. But all I found was more of the same, excepting that every creature encounter became more intense and revealed more of these evil lawn gnomes’ intentions. That, and for some reason their vulnerability to light seemed to change conveniently from one encounter to the next.
I was entertained by this not-so-jumpy scare-film. Anytime del Toro gets to share his ideas with creature effects teams it seems to work out great (Hellboy, Hellboy 2: The Golden Army, Pan’s Labyrinth). What was different about this film? It relied on a single creature concept for 90 minutes. Hellboy divided its attention between the demon-beast Samaal, the clockwork-assassin Cronin, Rasputin and the tentacular monster he becomes, and the star creature-characters and their nature and origins. Pan’s Labyrinth has a funky mantis-fairy, the faun, and one other monster which come up in different parts of the movie as if they are three stories. Hellboy 2 was a cornucopia of ideas (one of which was linked to del Toro’s childhood fear of dentists and tooth fairies like this movie). All enchanted us with ideas linked to mythologies and dark origin stories in brevity.
I think del Toro needs to take on a project that’s a more serious take on episodics like Creepshow, Trick or Treat, or Tales from the Darkside. These movies thrive on nifty single-serving story ideas, which seem to overflow from del Toro’s beautifully twisted mind.
(Here’s the trailer from our August preview.)
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30 Minutes or Less
Lots of talent, occasional laughs, Aziz Ansari.
30 Minutes or Less= A decent ride
The math does not add up though
Ansari+McBride+Swardson+Eisenberg+Pena+Fleischer=AWESOME!!!!
The fact that this film was only sporadically funny is a big let down. I was hoping for so much more. Here is how it holds up against the other summer R rated comedies
1. Horrible Bosses
2. Our Idiot Brother
3. Bridesmaids
4. Bad Teacher/30 Minutes or Less
5. Hangover 2
The plot revolves around Aziz Ansari and Jessie Eisenberg robbing a bank so Danny McBride and Nick Swardson can pay Michael Pena to kill McBride’s dad.
The movie has its moments which mostly come from Ansari and Pena. Michael Pena is a hilarious dude. I don’t like the movie Observe and Report but his character provides big laughs. In his limited screen time Pena makes you like him. Aziz provides the funniest lines of the film. He is a tiny dynamo of improv.
The biggest problem is with Jessie Eisenberg. He is too smart to be playing a slacker turd. He seems uncomfortable in the role. In Zombieland, Social Network and Adventureland he blended perfectly with the characters. However, in this flick he never feels right. A little bit more tweaking on the script would have fleshed his character out a bit more.
In the end, the movie is worth your time. It has enough positives to outweigh the negatives. I would watch the movie again. It might get better like Hot Tub Time Machine.
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The Beaver
The Beaver is a tough film. It handles depression in a way rarely seen on screen. Depression isn’t something that can be forgotten. You need to live with it and understand why you have it.
I’m thinking Mel Gibson is the reason why this film works. Like or dislike him you cannot deny that he is great in this flick. It makes it even more interesting with his current struggles.
Don’t expect some happy go lucky dramedy. This is full on drama. No wonder the script sat on the black list. People loved the script but nobody knew how to bring it to the screen. Jodie Foster tried and somewhat suceeded. The same things that make this movie work also keep the viewer from totally investing in it.
The movie is like Mel Gibson. Dark, unpredictable, sometimes excellent and not for everybody.
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Our Idiot Brother
I really enjoyed Our Idiot Brother. It is a nice film that is carried by a confident performance from Rudd. Rudd could have easily tread into caricature but manages to layer his performance into something unique and not absurd.
Paul Rudd is not an idiot in this film. He is trusting, relaxed and happy guy who does make the occasional dumb/naive decision. The movie starts with him getting arrested for selling weed to a uniformed police officer. He gets out of prison and his hippy girlfriend has broken up with him, shacked up with TJ Miller and refuses to give him his dog back.
The rest of the movie revolves around Rudd dealing with his sisters. Rudd is such a nice and trusting person everybody tells him their secrets which are then pulled out of him. The secrets make the family realize their malcontent and everyone ends up a better person.
The movie has likable characters. Whether it be TJ Miller’s organic farmer, Adam Scott’s sci-fi writer or Rashida Jones lesbian lawyer. The movie is littered with nice scenes and funny dialogue.
I absolutely believe that it would be impossible to leave this film without a smile on your face.
Enjoy!
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September Movie Preview Part 2
John’s September Preview
By John Leavengood
Apollo 18
Release Date: September 2nd
Cast: The budget was $5 million. If I told you do you really think you’d recognize any of the names?
How excited am I? Ummm, for an indie sci-fi horror? EXTREMELY! Lots of indies take their writing very seriously, so I’m hoping that this baby-budgeted Aliens-too-close-to-home flick delivers some gritty and chilling scenes. Here’s the trailer.
Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star
Release Date: September 9th
Cast: Nick Swarsdon, Christina Ricci and Don Johnson
Guess which movie I’ll be skipping this September? Well, watch this trailer and see for yourself. They evidently thought they were making the next Dumb and Dumber, but instead they just seem to have made a steaming pile. Don Johnson plays a porn director in this one. I’m guessing after we see how this movie does, directing porn will be the only work he’ll be able to find.
I Don’t Know How She Does It
Release Date: September 16th
Cast: Sarah Jessica Parker, Greg Kinnear, Kelsey Grammer, Pierce Brosnan
I don’t know how Sarah Jessica Parker keeps getting work…and I don’t think watching this will explain how she does it. It’s like everyone skipped Sex in the City 2 and then just assumed it was great. She hasn’t done anything tolerable in movies in over a decade. And before you call me a typical guy for hating her I’ll let you know that I loved her show Sex in the City—every season of it. Bless her heart, she just doesn’t translate well into film. Here’s the trailer.
Killer Elite
Release Date: September 23rd
Cast: Jason Statham, Robert De Niro and Clive Owen
Watch this trailer. Did you see Statham doing chair-fu!?! You know—the ancient alcohol-induced Irish fighting style? I think we’re in for some serious Bourne Identity fight scenes in this. No need to banter, just go see it.
Moneyball
Release Date: September 23rd
Cast: Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Robin Wright
Jonah Hill, welcome to a serious role. Brad and Phil, always nice to have you back.
This movie looks like someone took Major League and transformed it into a serious movie. I like it. And it feels so right that Pitt looks like a young Robert Redford—as if he was channeling The Natural. Here’s the trailer.
50/50
Release Date: September 30th
Cast: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogan, Bryce Dallas Howard and Anna Kendrick
Okay, so I like all of these actors, particularly Gordon-Levitt. But I’m going to treat this movie like I would a stray pitbull: I may be intrigued to know what it’s all about, but I’m not going to rush into it or make any sudden movements. I still can’t decide how I feel about 500 Days of Summer and the tone isn’t very different. Here’s the trailer.
Courageous
Release Date: September 30th
Cast: I don’t recognize a single actor in this.
I’m not saying this movie looks bad, but I am struggling to find signs of quality in
this trailer. Nothing about the plot is unique and, not knowing any of the actors, I have no clue how well-executed this will be. This strikes me as a wait-for-DVD kind of movie.
What’s Your Number?
Release Date: September 30th
Cast: Chris Evans, Anna Faris, Martin Freeman and Andy Samberg
This looks like a lot of fun and I think the nature of Chris Evans’ character will make this RomCom very guy-friendly. Not that I don’t think he’s awesome in action flicks, but it’s nice to see him doing some comedy. And how awesome is it that the BBC’s new Watson (Martin Freeman from Sherlock Holmes) makes an appearance!?! Here’s the trailer.
Dream House
Release Date: September 30th
Cast: Daniel Craig, Naomi Watts and Rachel Weisz
This trailer made my chest tingle with delight. This psychological thriller could be really creepy. It feels like they give you the solution to the puzzle right away, so I have a feeling we’re in for a big twist in this one.
Movies, Films & Flix 