John’s Horror Corner: X-Ray (1981; aka, Hospital Massacre), another 80s slasher that doesn’t live up to its hype.
MY CALL: Just another 80s slasher that doesn’t live up to its hype. Not enough happens. And when it does happen, it’s just not enough. Still, I didn’t regret it. Recommended only for 80s slasher completists. MORE MOVIES LIKE X-Ray: I feel that Halloween II (1981) provides a better hospital horror vibe.
As a child, a lunatic murders his crush’s brother. Twenty years later, he (Charles Lucia; Society, Syngenor) sees Susan (Barbi Benton; Deathstalker)stroll into the hospital where he works and, of course, recognizes her immediately. Intent to finish the job he started decades ago, he swaps her perfectly normal X-rays for those of a terminal patient so that she will be held for further testing and observation overnight.
After diagnosing Susan, the staff of this hospital seem quite comfortable going to highly inappropriate extremes to keep Susan there against her will for treatment. They coerce her, claim she’s having a seizure when she struggles, restrain her… it’s pretty far-fetched. You’d think they were all in on trying to kill her were it not for the killer murdering anyone who gets to close too her.
The slashery of this film lands at mediocre. Even when the stabs don’t stick on screen, the blood spurts and tone remain somewhat effective. There’s a “face dunk in acid” death scene that’s okay. Then more stabbery and a choking death that just miss the mark entirely. The axe to the head is probably the only truly worthy death scene, and even that isn’t exactly impressive by any 80s standards. The execution is almost missing something, and often missing a lot.
All told, this is just another 80s slasher that doesn’t live up to its hype. Not enough happens. And when it does happen, it’s not intense or bloody or graphic or theatric enough to be worth our time. I wouldn’t recommend this, nor would I warn anyone away from it. I think this is best suited for 80s slasher completists.
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John’s Horror Corner: The Slayer (1982), an 80s slasher that doesn’t live up to its name.
MY CALL: This is advertised as featuring a hideous demonic monster. It doesn’t—not really. This is a slow-paced mystery slasher with a few pretty nice visuals that might not make up for the lack of action and low number of kills. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Slayer: The Mutilator (1984) was similar, and maybe better.
On a vacation getaway to a remote island, two married couples book a luxury beach house for the weekend. Everyone seems happy with the place except for Kay (Sarah Kendall), who realizes she has dreamed of this place, and it frightens her.
I was somewhat skeptical until the first death scene, a great gag in which a man’s gashed and bloody neck is caught between a pair of cellar storm doors and they are held shut by the weight of his hanging body as his legs twitch about. Oh, and then his severed head was in bed next to his wife in bed. Precious. Unfortunately, after this nothing provocative happens for a very long time.
The pacing finds long lulls of couples chatting about their issues and exhaustively searching the island for a missing victim. These scenes are long, boring, and insubstantial. Not that this is so unusual for the genre. I was just amped up for more after that great death scene… and then less amped… and then less amped… and then just bored.
Eventually, and far too long after the aforementioned death scene, we have the fishing death scene. Creative use of lures and some wincing hooks to the face brought a grin to face again. But it doesn’t really make up for all the downtime between the action. There just aren’t many kills or effects scenes in this movie.
All the while we have no idea who the killer is. There was the weird groundskeeper from the beginning of the movie. But how does that explain the cold open of the movie when some laughably mangy rubber claws attacked someone?
Director J. S. Cardone (Wicked Little Things, Shadowzone) is a capable filmmaker and it shows here. Perhaps the greatest flaw of this movie was the budget. And rather than cheapen five or six death scenes with uniformly weak effects, we have three scenes with decent effects instead. Probably the right call, actually. All in all, this movie had a few pretty good gore gags. But was it worth all the slow pacing in between? That’ll depend on the viewer. With this said, the finale visual is gruesome, gory and goopy. This would be the monstrous screen grab shared online that would lure you into watching this movie, as it did for me. I’ll say this was not very worth it for me, but it also was by no means regrettable.
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John’s Horror Corner: Deadly Manor (1990; aka Savage Lust), another breasty slasher with lame, boring kills.
MY CALL: This was… not good. Oh, I’ve seen far worse. But there’s no reason to recommend this to anyone. Also, I’d warn you not to trust the images of the mangled-faced, masked killer you find online. It’s all limited to one decent (yet unredeeming) scene at the end.
After a cold open of two dead bodies with two bare boobs on one of them, I guess I now know the kind of movie this is gonna’ be. Then again, the alternate title for this flick was Savage Lust. So there’s that. Oh well, here we go…
A bunch of college kids heading to a remote lake for the weekend come across an abandoned manor with a “monument” to a busted-up car in the front yard. They intend to break in and stay there for the night under the assumption that no one is home.
Once inside, they find evidence of a (perhaps) missing woman and indications that someone was in the house very recently. So, of course, they go snooping around the house looking for trouble. The house is heavily decorated with burlesque photos of the mysterious woman, almost like a shrine collaged on the wall by her stalker. This ends up adding to the nudity of the movie considerably, even if just photos.
They come upon a closet with a collection of… scalps! Yes, actual human scalps! And in the basement there are coffins! But no worries, guys. Let’s crash here tonight. No big deal. So as of now, they deserve the worst for their stupidity for sure.
Sleeping alone (in a dream sequence), a man is straddled by a strange naked woman; the woman from all the photos. Not surprisingly, he goes with it and doesn’t question a thing. Maybe I wouldn’t either. The scene gets rather graphic. But again, the original title of this tasteful film was… right… Savage Lust. Barf. I shouldn’t be surprised. I found that director José Ramón Larraz had made a movie about “sex vampires” (Vampyres).
But what about the horror? The death scenes are lame, off-camera, uninspired crap. Even the after-the-fact shots of the victims are unsatisfying. Sure there’s some blood. But there’s not much to it. No wound work, no on-screen stabs, no nothing. The closest we get to a proper death scene is someone dragging a blunt knife across a neck with no wound. This happens a few times and it’s the classic “we have no money” death scene.
The one great effect to celebrate here is the makeup on the killer. Her mangled Phantom of the Opera face looks awesome. In fact, it was an image grab of just that which got me to watch this movie. Too bad it only graces us at the end of the movie. Visually speaking, this movie is a one trick pony that bores us for most of the ride. I recommend a hard pass.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 517: Memories of Murder, Ensemble Staging, and Bong Joon-ho
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and Nick Rehak (@TheRehak on X) discuss the 2003 crime thriller Memories of Murder. Directed by Bong Joon-ho, and starring Song Kang-ho, Kim Sang-kyung, Kim Roi-ha, and a rusty nail, the movie focuses on the hunt for an elusive serial killer. In this episode, they also talk about ensemble staging, tall grass, and the excellence of Bong Joon-ho. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 516: The Superhero Movies Released Since 1998 Draft
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and Norbert (@eddiecaine on Twitter) talk about their favorite superhero films released since 1998. In this episode, they talk about Blade, Unbreakable, Spider-Man 2, Constantine, The Incredible Hulk, The League Extraordinary Gentlemen, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, The Incredibles and more! Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
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Blue Beetle (2023) – Review
Quick Thoughts – Grade – B – Blue Beetle will put a smile on your face and make you hope that the Reyes family will get another chance to shine in James Gunn’s DC.
Director Ángel Manuel Soto and writer Gareth Dunnet-Alcocer made a very smart decision when they decided to write the origin story of how Jaime Reyes (Xolo Maridueña) becomes the Blue Beetle. By keeping the story similar to the origins of Venom, Iron Man, Spider-Man and Green Lantern, they created an easy-to-follow plot that allowed them to spend a lot of time developing the dynamic of the Reyes family, who provide the best moments in the film. The chemistry between Xolo Maridueña, Adriana Barraza, Damián Alcázar, George Lopez, Elpidia Carrillo, and Belissa Escobedo is wonderful, and their interactions had the people in the theater laughing and clapping throughout. At its core, Blue Beetle is about family, and the Reyes are able to overcome familiar villains and several CGI battles that highlight the limits of fully-masked CGI heroes.
The story revolves around what happens when Jaime, a recent Gotham Law University graduate returns home to Palmera City, Texas, and finds out that his family’s car shop has closed and his childhood home is in trouble being vacated due to the insanely high rental rates put on them by the gentrification of the area. Since there are no jobs for “pre-lawyers,” Jaime gets a job cleaning the residence of Victoria Kord (Susan Sarandon), a villainous billionaire who wants to create an army of super soldiers (AKA one man army corps) with the aid of an ancient artifact known as the Scarab. After some hijinks involving Victoria’s niece Jenny Kord (Bruna Marquezine), the Scarab imprints with Jaime and it fully integrates itself into every vein, muscle and tendon. The alien technology also works as a super suit that can fly into space, absorb tremendous punishment and create anything that Jaime can imagine. This comes in handy when the villainous Victoria and her super soldier Carapax (Raoul Max Trujillo) start hunting for the missing technology.
Joining Jaime in his origin story is his uncle Rudy Reyes (a scene-stealing George Lopez who delivers the best scream of 2023), a conspiracy theorist/inventor who aids Jaime and Jenny as they run from Victoria and try to figure out what exactly is going on with the Scarab. This all leads to a showdown at a James Bond-esque island where Jaime and his family battle Victoria and her endless collection of henchmen. It’s a decent final battle made better by some fun surprises involving Jaime’s grandmother (Adriana Barrraza) and his sister Milagro (Belissa Escobedo).
Blue Beetle works best when the Reyes family is on screen, and the good news is that they get a lot to do. The cinematography by Pawel Pogorzelski (Hereditary, Midsommar, Nobody, Beau is Afraid) is expectedly solid, and Pawel does a fine job capturing the energy of what happens when alien technology takes over the body of a nice 22-year old. Overall, it’s a good time that allows fresh faces to shine and I really like that.
Final thoughts – Go watch Blue Beetle in a packed theater. It’s a good time.
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Movies, Films and Flix Dumb Data: A24 Movies and Altitude
Quick Notes
- Spoilers for Hereditary (2018)
- I’m fully aware that this data is dumb
- Green Room and The Blackcoat’s Daughter are my favorite A24 horror films.
The idea for this dumb data article came to me while watching The Shining (1980). As Jack and his family are driving through Colorado (average altitude of 6,800 feet) I started thinking about movies like Devil, The Devil’s Pass, Evil Dead Rise, and Blood Red Sky – movies that take place in skyscrapers, airplanes or a high-altitude location. Basically, movies that take place in an elevated location. The idea made me laugh because of the recent debate about “Elevated Horror,” a divisive term that describes horror movies that avoid jump-scares/gore/blood explosions and instead rely on allegories or emotionally complex stories that psychologically affect viewers. In other words, Jason X (which is beautiful) is not an Elevated Horror film – despite it taking place in space.
The one company that kept coming up while researching elevated horror was A24, the beautiful movie production company (I’m a proud AAA24 member) that has been distributing excellent films since 2013. Because of all the press coverage that made A24 the face of elevated horror, I decided to see which A24 horror film is the most elevated – by altitude. Yes, it’s a dumb idea, but it makes me laugh and I learned a lot about being above sea level. .
Here’s a list of the movies that will be competing, and maps showing where they take place.
- Enemy (2014)
- Under the Skin (2014)
- Tusk (2014)
- Life After Beth (2014)
- Into the Forest (2015)
- Dark Places (2015)
- Green Room (2016)
- The Monster (2016)
- The Witch (2016)
- Krisha (2016)
- The Lighthouse (2017)
- The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)
- The Blackcoat’s Daughter (2017)
- It Comes at Night (2017)
- A Ghost Story (2017)
- Hereditary (2018)
- Slice (2018)
- In Fabric (2019)
- Midsommar (2019)
- Climax (2019)
- The Hole in the Ground (2019)
- Lamb (2021)
- Saint Maud (2021)
- False Positive (2021)
- X (2022)
- Pearl (2022)
- Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)
- Men (2022)
- Talk to Me (2023)
*Beau is Afraid was filmed in Montreal, but it takes place in a fictional world so I didn’t include it on the map.
Quick Notes
- The Monster was filmed in Ottawa but it seems to take place in Any Town USA. I scoured the film for a location, but I couldn’t find where it takes place. The license plates are never seen and nobody is like “We’re stuck in Hudson, Florida!” Because of this, I placed it in Ottawa.
- It Comes at Night was filmed in upstate New York, and the location is left vague (the license plates are no help). Because of this I placed it in New York.
- Tusk was filmed in North Carolina, but it takes place in Manitoba. Thus, I counted the setting and not the filming location. Same for Midsommar.
- I left out High Life because it takes place in space. Too easy.
- When it comes to elevated horror, movies like Get Out, The Babadook, It Follows, and Black Swan were also mentioned numerous times. However, they take place in low-ish altitudes so I left them out to make sure this dumb data article didn’t spiral out of control.
- I pulled the maps from here, here, and here
The Winner!
- Hereditary (2018) – Takes place in Park City, Utah – Elevation 7,000 feet
- Midsommar (2019) – Takes place in Hälsingland, Sweden – Elevation 2,201 feet
What makes me really happy is that the most elevated films are Hereditary (#1) and Midsommar (#2). Ari Aster directed both of them and they are also the two highest grossing A24 horror films. It’s pretty great that the highest grossing A24 horror films are also the most elevated. Hereditary takes place in Park City, Utah, which has an elevation of 7,000 feet, Ari Aster’s film about a very patient cult who want to snag some hell money, also features a character being elevated into a treehouse and there’s a spooky scene that takes place in an attic. The film is also heavy thematically on grief, depression, and family trauma which fit in nicely with the elevated horror folks. It also features a head getting obliterated (Highest part of the body), which should sit nicely for the people who like horror films that feature head obliteration.
Fun Data
Elevation Facts
- 0-250 Feet – 81.1 Tomatometer average and a $7.4 million average at the worldwide box office
- 250 – 500 Feet – 71.8% Tomatometer average and a $5.3 million box office average
- 500+ Feet – 69.4% Tomatometer average and a $28.9 million average
- I love that the less elevated films have a higher critical average. The Lighthouse, X, Pearl, and Saint Maud helped this category a lot.
Honorable Mentions
- Lamb (2021) takes place in Akureyri Iceland (56m / 184 feet) and filmed in a valley about an hour away from the town center, Lamb gets extra points for having the main characters’ home be placed in a valley that is surrounded by mountains and occasionally we see the characters hiking in the hills and climbing up steep inclines. So, while it doesn’t have the highest altitude it does feature loads of high places. An added bonus is that the bedrooms are on the second floor.
- Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022) features some solid mountain shots as the core duo drive to the mansion. However, the mansion where they shot is only somewhere around 330 height in elevation.
- Into the Forest (2015) takes place somewhere in the pacific northwest. It doesn’t give me a lot to work with, so I referenced the book in which the setting is in Northern California. The movie was filmed in Canada…
- A Ghost Story (2017) features some solid skyscraper work
- The Lighthouse (2017) features a 70-foot lighthouse that was built for the movie
- Life After Beth features some solid mountain hiking
- The Witch has Anya Taylor Joy floating in the air (and baby goo)
My 10 favorite A24 moments that feature characters in an elevated position
- Green Room – The Ain’t Rights performing “Nazi Punks” is an all-timer moment.
- The Witch – Thomasin floating in the air is a great visual
- Under the Skin – Scarjo watching the beach scene from a bluff is a solid moment
- Hereditary – I love a good treehouse bit
- The Blackcoat’s Daughter – There’s some legit second floor action
- Tusk –Watching Allison throw fish down to Walrus Wallace hits hard.
- Midsommar – Turning 72 isn’t always a great thing
- X – It’s cheating, but I love the overhead shot of the alligator.
- Climax – it’s only one step, but I dig the DJ shenanigans during the first dance
- Life After Beth – The final hiking scene
If you’re bored and want to listen to some podcast episodes about the movies mentioned in this data article check out the Movies, Films and Flix podcast (it’s everywhere). I’ve talked about Green Room, Tusk, and The Blackcoat’s Daughter,
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 515: Midsommar, Ari Aster and A24 Horror
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and Lisa L. (@FoolishMinion20 on X) discuss the 2019 folk horror film Midsommar. Directed by Ari Aster, and starring Florence Pugh, Jack Reynor, Will Poulter, William Jackson Harper and some devious Swedes, the movie focuses on what happens when a group of Americans get caught up in some pagan cult shenanigans. In this episode, they also talk about A24 horror films, the excellence of Florence Pugh, and bear suits. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast -Episode 514: The Pacifier, Vin Diesel and Action Hero Babysitters
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and Erik discuss the 2005 action comedy The Pacifier. Directed by Adam Shankman, and starring Vin Diesel, Brittany Snow, Max Thieriot, and several pairs of cargo pants, the movie focuses on what happens when Vin Diesel is forced to babysit a group of kids and their pet duck. In this episode, they also discuss jet ski action scenes, action hero babysitters, and incredibly expensive basement vaults. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
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John’s Horror Corner: Blood Clots (2018), a horror anthology of horror-comedy vignettes.
MY CALL: I’d definitely call this an above average horror anthology. Not too cheap, not too dumb, not too “bad.” It also lacked higher production levels of writing, execution, and gore. But I think it made up for it with cheekiness.
MORE HORROR ANTHOLOGIES: Dead of Night (1945), Black Sabbath (1963), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), The Uncanny (1977), Screams of a Winter Night (1979), Creepshow (1982), Screamtime (1983), Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983), Stephen King’s Cat’s Eye (1985), Deadtime Stories (1986), Creepshow 2 (1987), From a Whisper to a Scream (1987; aka The Offspring), After Midnight (1989), Tales from the Crypt Season 1 (1989), Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990), Grimm Prairie Tales (1990), The Willies (1990), Two Evil Eyes (1990), Necronomicon: Book of the Dead (1993), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Campfire Tales (1997), Dark Tales of Japan (2004), 3 Extremes (2004), Creepshow 3 (2006), Trick ‘r Treat (2007), Chillerama (2011), Little Deaths (2011), V/H/S (2012), The Theater Bizarre (2012), The ABCs of Death (2013), V/H/S 2 (2013), All Hallows’ Eve (2013), The Profane Exhibit (2013), The ABCs of Death 2 (2014), V/H/S Viral (2014), Southbound (2015), Tales of Halloween (2015), A Christmas Horror Story (2015), The ABCs of Death 2.5 (2016), Holidays (2016), Terrified (2017; aka Aterrados, a pseudo-anthology), Oats Studios, Vol. 1 (2017), Ghost Stories (2017), XX (2017), All the Creatures Were Stirring (2018), The Field Guide to Evil (2018), Nightmare Cinema (2018), Shudder’s series Creepshow (2019-2021), Scare Package (2019), The Mortuary Collection (2019), Xenophobia (2019), V/H/S/94 (2021), Netflix’s series Cabinet of Curiosities (2022) and V/H/S/99 (2022).
Featuring a rather eclectic mix of killer invertebrates, unlikely cannibals, just plain mean torture, zombies, werewolves, tentacle monsters and monstrous blind dates, Blood Clots offers an array of seven horror vignettes. While clearly not as wildly diverse as The ABCs of Death (2013) with 26 such extra brief vignettes, seven is still on the higher side such that we are more seeing “scenes” of horror than we are the 20-30 minute, more fleshed-out short horror stories of Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990), V/H/S (2012) or Creepshow (1982). So let’s dive into these horror shorts…
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Clot I, Hell of a Day (Director Evan Hughes)
Out in rural Australia, an injured woman at a seemingly abandoned pit stop hears a scream, finds a mangled bloody dead body with its guts strewn about, and finds herself trapped in a bad place.
This zombie apocalypse vignette features excellent gore, some creative uses of that gore, and provides a thoughtful glimpse into the tedium that would likely befall a survivor. There’s a wonderfully random injury that was executed with great creativity despite its simple elegance. I liked this a lot! Simple. A few days in the life of a survivor.
Clot II, Never Tear Us Apart (Director Sid Zanforlin)
When two guys stumble across a cannibal couple in the woods, they give chase. But it turns out an unlikely family reunion is in store.
I squee’d at the best axe to the head since Wrong Turn (2003)! Wow. Great gory death! This also features a great moment of brutal torture imagery. The dialogue is cheesy bad. But I didn’t mind at all.
Clot III, Blue Moon (Director Martyn Pick)
Things go horribly wrong (for the perverts) during the filming of an episode of European Doggers. And today I learned that dogging means having sex in public.
This is a bit perverse. I mean, there’s a ‘dick slammed in a door’ gag. Thankfully, in the spirit of good taste, the doggers get dogged by werewolves. There’s a lot of blood but nothing happens on screen. This one is more shaky cam frantic with a bit of humor.
Clot IV, Time to Eat (Director Luke Guidici)
A young boy kills some kind of tentacle monster in the basement and brings it to his mother. Apparently, he was more the monster. Just a few minutes long. A nice Sunday comic strip-lengthed idea.
Clot V, Still (Director Carl Timms)
A British statue-impersonating street performer relies on his motionless trade to survive a zombie apocalypse. Narrated by the still performer, this is charming and cheeky. It captures some excellent zombie-centric humor as he watches blood spurt from the neckbites of nearby victims. Cute idea. Feels like a scene from a zombedy.
Clot VI, Hellyfish (Directors Robert McLean and Patrick Longstreth)
CGI animated divers in search of a lost bomb in the sea are attacked by jellyfish. This is perhaps the hokiest segment. This feels like Psycho Beach Party (2000) meets Crabs (2021) but with CGI jellyfish and Jersey Shore douchebags. The jellyfish look kinda dumb… but kinda cute. Weak CGI gore, but a fun concept.
Clot VII, The Call of Charlie (Director Nick Spooner)
An impromptu dinner party includes a comically Lovecraftian dinner guest getting set up on a date. This is just charming! Everyone is normal except for the tentacle-face monster. They quibble about who makes the best sangria, the monster uses mouth wash and is dressed well for his date, one husband just doesn’t want to be there… This ventures into amusing social faux pas; typical dinner party stuff with a weird spin.
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Clocking in at a breezy 72 minutes, these seven segments are short snippets. Generally speaking, this was pretty good. The average segment had good production quality, decent gore and acting, and interesting ideas. Overall not much was wowing, but all of it was pretty good. I was very pleased with this. Especially The Call of Charlie! That short had awesome creature effects and a neat angle.
Movies, Films & Flix 