The 2022 Random Awards – Celebrating the Best Moments and Movies of 2022
The 2022 year end Random Awards have arrived! 2022 ended strong and I had a fun time creating creative random awards that showcase some of my favorite films and moments of 2022. If you enjoy these awards, make sure to check out the 2022 mid-year random awards for more randomness.
Best Grocery Store Dancing Award – White Noise
Noah Baumbach’s film isn’t for everyone, but I really enjoyed the experience.
Best Bit Involving a Tape Measure Award – Barbarian
Listen, give Justin Long a Best Support Actor Oscar nomination for his performance in Barbarian.
Best Descent Into Insanity Award – Mad God
Phil Tippett is a maniac and I appreciate him. Mad God is beautiful, gross and unique.
Best Donkey Award – EO
EO is beautifully filmed, and it totally deserved the Jury Prize at Cannes.
Best Selling of a Sliced Back Award- The Woman King
The Woman King is really good and I’m happy that director Gina Prince-Bythewood is getting lots of press. Also, Viola Davis gets slashed in the back during a fight scene and she sells the heck out of it.
Best Kitchen Fight Involving Scott Adkins and a Vampire Award – Day Shift
Best kitchen fight of the year!
Best Digging Request Award- A Love Song
Dale Dickey and Wes Studi are so good in A Love Song. Watch it.
Best Moment Involving Phoenix’s Nina Hoss Award- Tár
I know that most of the press surrounding the film is going towards Cate Blanchett. However, it can’t be ignored that Phoenix’s Nina Hoss is in it too.
Best Cliff Curtis Playing An Incredibly Rich Person Award – Murina
Murina is one of my favorite 2022 films and I loved seeing Cliff Curtis playing a billionaire in it.
Best Father/Daughter Award – Aftersun
Aftersun is a beautiful soulcrusher and I love the chemistry between Paul Mescal and Frankie Corio.
Best Audition Scene That Leads to Chaos Award – Pearl
Listen y’all, when a maniac auditions for a role, maybe consider giving it to her. She won’t be happy when she doesn’t get it. It’s trouble either way.
Best Usage of the Color Red Award – A Wounded Fawn
Red is used to perfection in A Wounded Fawn. Listen to my interview with star Josh Ruben – it’s a good time.
Best Moment Involving a Killer Whale Catapulting Someone Into the Air Award – Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
I never thought I’d see a killer whale shoot a warrior into the air with its tail. I have now!
Best Salt Lick for Ghosts Award – Deadstream
Deadstream is a great time. Kudos to Joseph Winter for keeping up the energy and creating a memorable character.
Best Takeout Sushi Award – Decision to Leave
Decision to Leave is my favorite 2022 film. It is wonderful.
Best Pushups Award – The Inspection
Top Gun: Maverick was the #1 contender for the pushups award, but then I saw The Inspection.
The Good Afternoon Award – Spirited
Spirited is a bloated movie that is too long and probably too expensive. However, I love the “Good Afternoon” song.
Best Giant Monster Movie Award – Troll
Troll is a near perfect monster movie. Watch it now! Seriously, watch it then listen to our podcast episode about it.
Best TV Purchasing Award – Emily the Criminal
Audrey Plaza is so good in Emily the Criminal. She’s great at buying televisions.
Best Avoidance of Admitting That You Grew Up in an Upper Middle Class Household Award – Bodies Bodies Bodies
The “Upper Middle Class” bit in Bodies Bodies Bodies continues to make me happy. Such a great moment.
Best Die Hard 2-esque Action Film Award – Violent Night
Violent Night features snowmobiles, John Leguizamo, double-crosses, and lots of snow. It’s wonderful.
Best V-Neck Award – Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
Edward Norton wears a great v-neck in Glass Onion.
Best Usage of a 2:1 Aspect Ratio – Smile
Smile features a bunch of people smiling and it looks great with the 2:1 aspect ratio.
Scariest Character Award – Bones and All
Sully (Mark Rylance) has haunted my dreams. Dude is a maniac.
Here are some random awards from some wonderful MFF contributors.
Jay Cluiit (@LifevsFilm on Twitter)
- Most Surprising Supporting Actor MVP of the Year – Alex Ferns (Commissioner Pete Savage in The Batman & Mosk in Andor, he’s mainly known in the UK as a villainous wife-beater in Eastenders in the early 2000s)
- Best Use of Con Air – The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
- Most Disappointing Use of a Jetski – Shark Bait
- Best Birthing Sequence – Men
- Best Origin Story for an Inanimate Object – Water bottle in Bullet Train
- The Most Effort Put Into A Film I Loved But Never Want To Watch Again: Phil Tippett, Mad God
Aaron Neuwirth (@AaronsPS4 on Twitter)
- Best Donkey – tie: EO/The Banshees of Inisherin
- Best Sandcastle Destruction – Empire of Light
- Best Tiger Throw – RRR
- The Office Space Award for Celebration of Inanimate Objects – Everything Everywhere All At Once
- Best Pool Cleaning – Causeway
- Best Bar Mitzvah Movie – Cha Cha Real Smooth
- Best Use of Menorah in a film over 2 hours – The Fabelmans
- Aaron Neuwirth
- Wettest movie of the year – avatar: rise of space whales
Lisa L. (@foolishminion20 on Twitter)
- Most Batshit Bonkers Movie of the Year: Barbarian
- Honorable mention to Moonfall, which originated the term
Jonny Numb (@jonnynumb on Twitter)
- Best Hand Acting – Zoe Kravitz dries off the sanitizer in KIMI
- Most Unsettling Dental Prosthetics (tie) – Rory Kinnear in MEN; Mark Rylance in BONES AND ALL
- Worst Use of a Great Ensemble – AMSTERDAM
- Creepiest Fidgeting – Kristen Stewart in CRIMES OF THE FUTURE
- Most Formidable Opponent in a Big-Budget Action Flick – Joey King in BULLET TRAIN
Joey Lewandowski (@soulpopped on Twitter)
- best dance scene to start a movie: After Yang
- best dance scene to end a movie: White Noise
- best cheeseburger: The Menu
- best donkey: jenny in The Banshees of Inisherin
- best podcaster: rachel sennott as alice in Bodies Bodies Bodies
- best movie remix: the Timekeepers of Eternity
- best use of a voice assistant: Alexa in Kimi
Megan H
- The Don’t Write this down award – Thirteen Lives
- Family business producing products in precision engineering…employed in upholding democracy all over the world – Triangle of Sadness / Are you going to eat the pasta award – Triangle of sadness
- Trash can destruction award – White Noise
- Everyone knows love is the most important ingredient award – The Menu
- Best knife on a leash – The Woman King, Prey
- Best reflection shots – Aftersun
- I’m very bad at dumb things Award – Knives Out: Glass Onion
- I am not putting the donkey outside when I’m sad award – Banshees of innishirin
- Upper middle class award – Bodies Bodies Bodies
Share this post:
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and Zanandi (@ZaNandi on Twitter) talk about their favorite horror movies released in 2022 and hand out random awards to their favorite horror moments. It’s been a wonderful year for horror and in this episode they talk about the excellence of Barbarian, A Wounded Fawn, Nope, Mad God, Glorious, 5cream, Deadstream, Smile and many more. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
Share this post:
The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 469: Love Actually, Richard Curtis and Romantic Comedies
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and John (@MFFHorrorCorner on Twitter) discuss the 2003 romantic comedy epic Love Actually. Directed and written by Richard Curtis, and starring an insane case of talented people, the movie focuses on a plethora of rom-com romances that happen during the holiday season. In this episode, they also talk about John Cusack, Emma Thompson, and the filmography of Richard Curtis. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
Share this post:
The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 468: Top Gun: Maverick, Tom Cruise and Mustaches
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and David Cross (@ItsMeDavidCross on Twitter) discuss the 2022 blockbuster Top Gun: Maverick. Directed by Joseph Kosinski, and starring Tom Cruise, Miles Teller, Jennifer Connelly, and Glen Powell, the movie focuses on what happens when a maverick pilot is tasked with preparing a group of elite pilots for an impossible mission. In this episode, they also talk about practical effects, movie mustaches, and the excellence of Tom Cruise. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
Share this post:
The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 467: The 2022 Marvel Cinematic Universe Recap
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and Norbert (@eddiecaine on Twitter) talk about their favorite 2022 Marvel Cinematic Universe moments. It was a busy year for the MCU as three movies, three shows, two specials, and some Groot mini-episodes were released and met with a wide range of opinions. In this episode, they also talk about where the MCU is headed and wonder what Madisynn is up to. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
Share this post:
John’s Horror Corner: Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984), a thoughtfully written yet moderately boring British holiday horror.
MY CALL: This movie had a lot of potential, but somehow dropped the ball on the “horror” in this horror movie. Sorry, but I found it boring. MORE MOVIES LIKE Don’t Open Till Christmas: For more holiday horror, check out Black Christmas (1974, 2006 remake, 2019), Await Further Instructions (2018), Holidays (2016; Christmas), A Christmas Horror Story (2015), Krampus (2015), Better Watch Out (2016), Silent Night Deadly Night (1984), Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) Gremlins (1984), Elves (1989), Tales from the Crypt Season 1 (1989; And All Through the House) and Tales from the Crypt (1972; And All Through the House). Skip The Oracle (1985), Silent Night Deadly Night part 2 (1987), and maybe even All the Creatures Were Stirring (2018).
The heavy mouth-breathing killer POV and cheap, retractable blade stabbery make for a rather dull opening sequence that doesn’t leave me terribly optimistic for whatever shall follow. If I’m being completely honest, I enjoyed watching the Christmas party dancing more than the first two kills. The second Santa kill was much better. Nothing particularly impressive, just better than the empty murders of the opening and the subsequent third Santa murder. Oh, and there’s your theme! Our holiday hacker is slashing as many Santas as he can in the days leading up to Christmas.
If this movie had but one success, it’s that I may have never seen so many different people in Santa suits in a single movie before. Nor, I doubt anyway, have I ever seen so many people in Santa suits murdered in a single movie. So… I guess there’s that.
When a wrapped Christmas present is delivered to Inspector Harris (Edmund Purdom) with the note “don’t open till Christmas” I suppose we’re all to gawk “that’s the name of the movie!” By the end of the movie when we learn the present’s contents I was underwhelmed with “meh.” And that, likewise, is a fair representation of my experience with this movie. I didn’t hate it. But it was a whole lotta’ “meh.”
The death scenes are largely uninspired, unclever, and phoned-in. They’re often so disappointingly basic as to be less entertaining than the non-horror parts of this British slasher movie. Though the movie isn’t without its occasional charm—like a massively gory exit would from a gunshot through a Santa’s open mouth or a Santa discovered with a cleaver embedded in in his face. But the highlight for me was the “implied” razorblade to the crotch while a blue-collar Santa was at a urinal. Charming indeed, even if we don’t see anything but blood spurts and a urine stream.
The movie “tries” to diversify its death scenes for our entertainment. But it generally fails. A shoeblade kick to the groin and studded gauntlet punch to the face both land very briefly and very flat, not unlike the quick and stale strangling. It’s like they filmed the movie saving the death scenes for the end and then realized they had five bucks of budget left, and then one-take’d a bunch of haphazard and very brief murders.
For as boring as this slash movie is, a lot of attention went to the plot, the creepy opening credit sequence, the police investigation and the characters. Great thought was placed in the personality of the killer (Alan Lake), which would have finely complemented the movie had there been bloodier or better built-up murders. Somehow, though, the atmosphere and cultivation of dread were largely squandered. With a better special effects team, some attention to building tension, and a little more money, this could have been a solid 80s slasher with far above average quality non-horror scenes and acting, along with (hopefully) serviceable horror.
Director Edmund Purdom’s only feature film was nothing special for me; as I’ve said, kind of boring. But it also was no reason for which he should not have directed more horror movies. I wonder what the story was there.
Share this post:
MY CALL: This was one of the most ridiculous movies I’ve seen in a long time, and I love it for that. The gore and death scenes are poor. But the story is so batshit crazy that the storytelling itself (and the goofy-looking looking evil elf) make this a bad movie diamond in the rough. MORE MOVIES LIKE Elves: For more holiday horror, check out Black Christmas (1974, 2006 remake, 2019 reimagining), All the Creatures Were Stirring (2018), Await Further Instructions (2018), Holidays (2016; Christmas), A Christmas Horror Story (2015), Krampus (2015), Better Watch Out (2016), Silent Night Deadly Night (1984), Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) Gremlins (1984), Tales from the Crypt Season 1 (1989; And All Through the House) and Tales from the Crypt (1972; And All Through the House). Skip The Oracle (1985) and Silent Night Deadly Night part 2 (1987).
After unknowingly summoning a mutant elf using her grandfather’s occult work, Kirsten (Julie Austin; Fatal Exposure) and her friends wander home from the forest as a Ghoulies-like rubber, mucus-glazed monster claw emerges from the earth. Yup. This is gonna’ be good!
This rubber elf claw is the kind of prop you imagine being at the end of a stick, held just out of camera frame, as it motions towards things stiffly and menacingly. And as a fan of cheap 80s horror, these hardly-prehensile monster limbs often feel like characters themselves (like the stand-in for the monster before it appears in the late-movie full-body shot). But yes, this limb is attached to a gnarly malformed elf which follows Kirsten home, breaks into the house, and attacks her perverted little brother who was peeping at Kirsten naked in the shower. Staying in perverted theme, a lude department store Santa that gets handsy with Kirsten is stabbed to death in his genitalia by the elf. With the death of the sex-offender mall Santa, a down and out Grizzly Adams (Dan Haggerty; The Chilling, Terror Night) is hired the same day as his replacement.
It turns out that while Kirsten’s mother suspects a rabid racoon for the domestic elf attacks, Kirsten’s grandfather knows all too well what is happening. He knows about this evil elf and its purpose—which is to breed (with Kirsten) and create a superhuman race of Nazi lineage! And just in case that little plot point wasn’t ridiculous enough, her grandfather is also her father! She was created by selective inbreeding by her ex-Nazi father/grandfather to carry the perfect set of genes for elf-breeding. About now you might wonder how this could be ideal… they don’t explain it. But as a sliver of redemptive morality, her grandfather—who admitted to drugging and impregnating his own daughter—has had a change of heart and no longer wants the Elven Nazi master race to come to fruition. But fret not, there are other contemporary Nazis who plan to see that this happens! Apparently the Nazis had been studying elves for decades, and one of gramps’ old colleagues still believes in the rise of the next Reich.
NAZI HORROR SIDEBAR: For yet more Nazi horror, you should explore seeing Iron Sky (2012), Iron Sky 2: The Coming Race (2019), Dead Snow (2009), Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead (2014), Overlord (2018), Hellboy (2004), Green Room (2015), Yoga Hosers (2016), Manborg (2011), Zombie Lake (1981), Oasis of the Zombies (1982), The Keep (1983), Frankenstein’s Army (2013), Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge (1991), Puppet Master: The Legacy (2003), Puppet Master: Axis of Evil (2010), Puppet Master X: Axis Rising (2012) and Puppet Master: Axis Termination (2017). And while not using Nazis as a direct antagonist, I’ll include Blood Vessel (2019).
I was somewhat disappointed and, in my head, blaming a meager budget when I discovered there was only one “elf” in this movie called Elves. But you know what? Our one elf’s face is awesome. He has a permanent expression of slack-jawed horrific disdain like he just smelled a life-threateningly bad fart while simultaneously becoming enraged as he realized who dealt it.
Half the action is human on human, guns and fists, and is quite unexciting. The monster effects are incredibly weak, infrequent, and very little worthy gore or horror action happens on screen. But I found this surprisingly forgivable. Rather than rubber guts and death scenes, this movie instead thrives on the wacktastic appearance of the elf and the complete lunacy of the story. And boy is it a bonkers laugh. I really enjoyed hearing the layers of drug-induced storytelling.
One of the most horrifying things in this movie is when Kirsten’s sociopathic mother (Deanna Lund; Roots of Evil, Superstition 2) drowns a cat in a toilet, wrongly thinking the cat attacked her young son—you know, before the rabid racoon theory. Thankfully, she gets hers when the elf electrocutes her in the bathtub.
Director and co-writer Jeffrey Mandel (Cyber-C.H.I.C) has made more of an unintentional comedy than a horror movie here. And I am just fine with that. While I enjoy or even rave about some entertaining bad movies, most of them I’d never really care to see again. However, much like Christmas, I could see myself enjoying Elves every year as I give new movie-goers the gift of this bad movie gem.
Share this post:
The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 466 – Grizzly (1976), Movie Bears, and Jaws Rip-Off Films
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and David Cross (@ItsMeDavidCross on Twitter) discuss the 1976 creature feature Grizzly. Directed by William Girdler, and starring Christopher George, Andrew Prine, Richard Jaeckel, and a large bear, the movie focuses on what happens when a man-eating grizzly starts eating campers. In this episode, they also talk about monster movies, famous bears, and films that did a great job ripping off Jaws. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
Share this post:
MY CALL: This is the second film in Fulci’s Gates of Hell trilogy and a worthy education in early non-Romero zombie horror for any genre film fan. The storytelling is a bit discombobulated, but there’s a satisfying diversity of special effects and gore. Highly recommended to fans of 80s horror and gorehounds, and it doesn’t particularly matter if you see these movies in order. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Beyond: Easily the best choice is Romero’s Dawn of the Dead (1978) and Fulci’s Zombie (1979), City of the Living Dead (1980) and The House by the Cemetery (1981)—the latter two being two-thirds of Fulci’s Gates of Hell trilogy.
The Lovecraftian connection is weak, but present—and the Cthulhu Wiki recognizes that The Beyond is perhaps a rather loose adaptation of The Dunwich Horror (1970). Just as in City of the Living Dead (1980), a priest from Dunwich somehow opens a gateway to Hell (or some dark void beyond).
Over 50 years after a warlock is tortured, graphically crucified and partially melted in 1927, Liza (Catriona MacColl; The House by the Cemetery, City of the Living Dead) inherits the old hotel where it all happened.
Shortly after this inheritance, Liza finds a strange blind woman Emily (Cinzia Monreale; Beyond the Darkness, Cave of the Sharks) and her dog in the middle of nowhere. So for no good reason at all, Liza brings this stranger to the hotel, where she remains for reasons that go unexplained. Possessing some psychic powers, Emily explains that the hotel was built on one of the Seven Gateways to Hell. This is probably about where I’d ask Emily to leave. But Liza is a much kinder host than I. And whereas Emily is the harbinger of supernatural things to come, Dr. McCabe (David Warbeck; Breakfast with Dracula, Miami Golem, Trog) balances things as our resident skeptic.
As is so often the case, the first sightings of evil zombie-ish fare transpire in some elaborate, hidden-away corridors in the basement. After the strange mutilating death of Liza’s plumber, the discovery of a 60-year-old water-logged cadaver, and the freak accident acid-melting death of the plumber’s wife in the morgue, Liza intends to continue with her plans to re-open this old hotel.
Being a Lucio Fulci movie, your gory expectations shall be kindly met. We enjoy graphic eye-gauging, chunky gore-spewing corpses, yet more frothy face-melting, the most brutal tarantula attack ever, grimy groaty pus-covered muck faces, a viciously messy throat-ripping dog bite, a head-exploding gunshot wounds, and then there’s the deceased plumber’s daughter. After seeing her mother melted down into a fizzy puddle, the young daughter of the molten woman in the morgue—perhaps a supernatural madness afflicted by what she had witnessed—also develops harrowingly white blind eyes just like Emily’s.
The tarantula scene is comically long, and imbues these spiders with supernatural brutality. They bite and tear away flesh after swarming a body like a school of slow-motion piranhas. They even bite his eyeball! Lot of eye trauma in this movie, by the way. Like three different scenes! Ever since Zombie (1979) Fulci has had a thing for that. Not complaining, though. I love me some graphic corneal trauma. And especially silly is that some of the tarantulas are real whereas others in the background are clunky animatronics.
The story and delivery lack the synthesis of City or Cemetery. A lot of things happen and I’m left wondering the whys and hows. In comparing The Beyond and City of the Living Dead (1980), their basic plots are strikingly similar. The gates of Hell are opened via the death of a priest (or warlock). And while we’re on the topic of similarity, you may recognize many of the actors from City of the Living Dead (1980) or The House by the Cemetery (1981) in The Beyond. However, none of them are playing the same characters.
Whereas City ends with destroying the “head zombie” thwarting the apocalypse and Cemetery ends with slaying the death-defying evil doctor, this closes with evil winning out as our heroes wander through the infernal doorway in order to escape being besieged by zombies. Then it sort of just ends… and then they go blind with weird white eyes like Emily and the girl… with them presumably alone in a Hellscape.
This is the second film in Fulci’s Gates of Hell trilogy and a worthy education in early non-Romero zombie horror for any genre film fan. It has a decent premise (even if ill-realized in its storytelling compared to City and Cemetery), good pacing, and a satisfying diversity and abundance of special effects like the other two films of this trilogy. Highly recommended to fans of 80s horror and gorehounds, and it doesn’t particularly matter if you see these movies in order.
Share this post:
The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 465: The Black Phone, Ethan Hawke, and Joe Hill
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and Chris Kelly (of the Classic American Movies podcast) discuss the 2022 horror film The Black Phone. Directed by Scott Derrickson, and starring Mason Thames, Madeleine McGraw, Ethan Hawke, and a few ghost kids, the movie focuses on what happens when an industrious kid is kidnapped by a buff Ethan Hawke. In this episode, they also talk about Joe Hill’s short story, killer masks, and the excellence of Gwen. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
Movies, Films & Flix 