John’s Horror Corner: Prom Night (2008)

Hello all. Mark here.

I fell asleep while watching this movie. I don’t remember a thing about it. That is why I’m glad John wrote a review.

I’ve actually fallen asleep during most of the recent remakes. I fell asleep in the theater during the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I passed out on my couch while watching Shutter, Black Christmas, Sorority Row and the new Nightmare on Elm Street.

SIDENOTE: If you fall asleep during a movie about being terrorized in your dreams it doesn’t say much about the film.

By John Leavengood

MY CALL:  If this is a remake of the 1980 Jamie Lee Curtis flick, I can’t tell.  The only similarity is the title.  This is a slasher flick where slashes don’t seem to draw blood.  You be the judge.  Could anything really be good about this?  Maybe an “F” is too harsh, yet a “D” seems generous.  WHAT TO WATCH INSTEAD:  Well, Sorority Row was way better than this.  Not only better, but decently fun period.

Remember That Thing You Do?  Wasn’t everyone great?  Tom Hanks, Tom Everett Scott, Steve Zahn, Liv Tyler, and oh yeah, Jonathan Schaech (also from Quarantine, The Forsaken, Hush).  What happened to him?  Not much  good since that movie.

Brittany Snow (the then 22-year-old star) plays a high school senior—who totally strikes me as someone who could get a full ride to Brown University, right—decides not to take her meds leading up to prom night.   Why?  So that everything would be clear.  Why the drugs?  Because she was crazy-stalked by Jonathan Schaech, who was imprisoned but escaped three days before prom night.

The preview suggested that this killer would be a terrifying mystery as promiscuous teens get picked off one by one.  Not the case.  We are informed way too early of Schaech’s character.  Each kill is harbingered by blatant smoke signals far before any suspense could be cultivated and, not surprisingly, there are no frightfully jumpy surprises.  There is no suspense, shock-value, blood (except for maybe one kill) or development whatsoever.  If the director was trying to accomplish anything with this movie, I have no clue what it was.

This really bored me.  Just look at Schaech (below)–uncompelling.