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Horror Movie Remake Tournament of Doom-Part 5

October 28, 2011

Mark: House of Wax, When a Stranger Calls and Black Christmas put me to sleep.

John:  If only they had remade WaxWorks.  That could have been a lot of fun.

Mark: They say “don’t throw rocks in a house of glass.” I say “don’t put Paris Hilton in a House of Wax.”

Mark: The Hills Have Eyes was an extremely effective remake. The scene with the dude flipping the axe was badass.

John:  Sounds like you liked The Hills Have Eyes a lot.  So did I.  I guess when they called the TKO in favor of  The Wicker Man  I was out of town and you were still asleep from watching Black Christmas.

Mark: The fight was a draw until they watched this clip:

Mark: The battle between The Hitcher and Fright Night was an easy one to decide. The Hitcher is not great. However, it features one cool scene where Sean Bean destroys six cars and a helicopter in 30 seconds. I remember being totally bored but that scene caught my attention. It is amazing how 30 seconds make a film worth watching.

John:  Not a lot of talent here.  I would have enjoyed a cat fight between Prom Night and Sorority Row, though.  If the coach for Sorority Row had just started Carrie Fisher, she would have taken out Colin Farrell (Fright Night‘s best player)

Mark: Fright Night rocked like a category 2 hurricane. Too bad it had to battle Nic Cage going crazy. Nobody wins against Cage. Unless he is riding a bicycle through a bee hive.

Mark: Right now you wondering “Wicker Man?….Why?”  Many will disagree but I love this film. It is a powder keg of Nic Cage craziness. Sure other remakes might be better but none of them feature Nic Cage in a bear suit.

John:  If you ask me, the only reason that The Wicker Man should have been here would be to burn in effigy!  I don’t care if the bear suit scene where he punches a chick in the head was awesome.  The hour-plus leading up to that felt like I was strapped to a chair in HostelFunny Games should have owned it.  Twisted, oddly but well-written, great actors who do a good job…TWISTED!!!!

Mark: The Wicker Man is like the Christmas where you finally got the Red Rider BB gun. You anticipate it, you dream of it and finally on Christmas morning you tear off the wrapping and you see the new BB gun. I sat down watching Mr. Wicker with high hopes and it delivered.

Check out Parts 1, 2, 3, and 4.

The exciting conclusion will be coming soon!

Comment, Comment, Comment!

One Comment leave one →
  1. Honey Badger permalink
    October 28, 2011 7:05 pm

    So I don’t see how a group of women honey farmers took out some inbred mutants in The Hills Have Eyes and Colin Farrell’s character in Fright Night. Although, those chicks can definitely take a punch.

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