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Horror Movie Remake Tournament of Doom-Part 4

October 27, 2011

John: Whoa!  Look at that. It’s like they put Roger Federer right at the top of the bracket against a bunch of high schoolers.  Look at how Evil Dead 2 just cascades down, cresting that business, like someone called “waterfall” in a frat house game of Asshole.  Just owning it!  I want Bruce Campbell tested for steroids.

Mark: Is there a steroid called “groovy?”

Mark: Has there ever been a worse remake than The Fog? I remember watching this movie but I remember nothing that happened. Are there ghosts in the fog? what if you have an industrial strength fan?

John:  Are there ghosts in The Fog?  Not sure.  What about telephone lines and radio waves?  None that matter.

John: Oh no.  I guess Pulse couldn’t hold its own against Jason Voorhees with its electrical tape.

Mark: I’ve watched both of those films as well yet I couldn’t tell you a single thing about the plots. They need to make The Pulse vs. Jason Voorhees. The movie would consist of the pulse thingies trying to put a blu-tooth on Jason’s ear so they can pulse him via phone.

John:  Man.  The Blob, even the remake, is a solid classic.  And the new Dawn of the Dead beats it?  Really?  Oh–Hell, who am I to judge?  I guess it’s hard to inspire people to root for some amorphous, acidic, mindless, pink mess that just wants to absorb them.

Mark: I was hoping The Blob had more of a charcter arc for the blob. It changes it’s evil amorphous ways and begins to let kids bounce on it. It absorbs bullies and old people who try to sneak a bounce though.

Mark: I wish The Crazies would have moved further. It was a decent little flick and you can’t deny the Olyphant. The Romero remakes on this list are super solid. I’m thinking Romero remakes are better than Romero’s recent stinkers. Diary of the Dead put my soul in a headlock.

John: I realize that when two losers face off, one of them gets to be a winner.  But I’m still upset that Willard won “anything,” even if it was against Shutter.  We need more zombie remakes to fill some of these deplorable gaps in talent.

Mark: A battle of the deads! I know Evil Dead 2 is a sequel/remake/hybrid but I had to include it on the list. The new Dawn of the Dead is a solid remake as well. I love the opening with Johnny Cash and the shooting of zombies who look like celebrities was funny. Dawn is nothing like its predecessor yet still brings the thrills  However, it wasn’t much of a challenge. Nothing can defeat Bruce “the chin” Campbell.

We hope you haven’t missed anything yet.  So be sure to check out the last two brackets (click here and here) and the initial tournament breakdown.  And don’t forget you can use this cinematic kumite to mediate arguments on which movie to rent on Halloween.  Just consult the brackets, assess the strength of schedule, and then bitch that there’s no play-off system–just like NCAA Division-I football!

Mark: Check out the Horror Movie Football Team.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. VJ Long permalink
    October 27, 2011 11:30 am

    Part of me wants to put Dawn of the Dead on top, but how can you go again Bruce? I just can’t do it. Evil Dead 2 is a movie I could watch time and time again. I think the only way amityville horror would have stood a chance against Evil Dead was if they had an ab off between ryan reynolds and bruce. that ryan reynolds is one ripped bastard in that movie. i’m secure enough to say mr. reynolds was all cut up in that movie.

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  1. Horror Remakes Tournament of Doom-Part 5 « Movies, Films & Flix

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