The MFF Podcast #159: Batman Returns
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The MFF podcast is back, and this week we are talking about one of the darkest superhero movies ever made. Tim Burton’s Batman Returns was a financial success in 1992, but its dark themes and lack of Batman turned many people off and left them never wanting to eat fish ever again (The Penguin eating fish = horrible). We love this movie and the all-in performances from Michelle Pfeiffer and Danny DeVito never get old. In this podcast, you will hear us talk about the muddled production process, Keaton cutting his lines and Christopher Walken saying the word “Bauble.”
Pfeiffer crushes it.
If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Tune In, Podbean, or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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John’s Horror Corner: The Hills Have Eyes Part II (1984), Wes Craven’s surprisingly tame cannibal cult classic sequel.
MY CALL: For lessons in horror film history, this film is a deserving classic. But for raw entertainment value, I’d instead turn you to the brutal remake and its sequel. MOVIES LIKE The Hills Have Eyes Part II: I’d stay really close to home if you liked this movie. You could start with the original The Hills Have Eyes (1977), another classic which today feels overly tame. Then go with movies like Just Before Dawn (1981), The Hills Have Eyes (2006), The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007), the Wrong Turn franchise (2003-2014) and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise (1974-2000s).
I love that this opens with the disclaimer that this film is based on “fact,” followed by an amusingly dramatic narration reviewing the disturbing events of the 1977 original. We even enjoy the credits with the same style of silhouetted southwestern desert mountains and disturbing sounds to create unease, and stock footage with the previous film’s highlights recounted in therapy sessions as Bobby (Robert Houston; The Hills Have Eyes) works through his survivors’ guilt.
But it seems that Bobby is only here to remind us of part 1. It turns out Bobby has developed some sort of fuel being tested by a motorcycle racing team. Everything should be fine, right? But on their way to the races, much as Bobby’s family did in 1977 (and so many twentysomethings in the Wrong Turn franchise), they take a short cut through an old bomb testing range and run out of gas in the desert wilderness… right where Bobby’s family ended up years earlier.
Among the racers are Hulk (John Laughlin; The Lawnmower Man, Space Rage), Foster (Willard E. Pugh; RoboCop 2, Puppet Master 5), Harry (Peter Frechette; The Kindred, The Unholy), Roy (Kevin Spirtas; Friday the 13th Part VII, Subspecies II-III) and his blind girlfriend with psychic senses, and Jane (Colleen Riley; Deadly Blessing), along with Beast (the German shepherd from the first movie) and a reformed Ruby [who now goes by Rachel] (Janus Blythe; The Incredible Melting Man, Drive In Massacre, Eaten Alive, The Hills Have Eyes). But no one knows of Ruby’s history with the cannibals, including Pluto (Michael Berryman; Weird Science, The Hills Have Eyes, Deadly Blessing)—who also survived at the end of the first movie.
After encountering Pluto, Ruby/Rachel informs the gang of her and Bobby’s history. Clearly not appropriately phased by her story, the guys decide to do some dirt biking reconnaissance and end up chasing Pluto and meeting Reaper (John Bloom; The Dark, The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant), the last two survivors of the desert cannibal clan.
Like its 1977 predecessor, the action and violence probably won’t entertain today’s fans very much. This often feels as much like a watered-down Mad Max as it does horror. Despite all the chases, booby-traps and scuffles with cannibals, this really isn’t very exciting. The death scenes are really weak. A rock falls on someone and we don’t see anything happen, another falls off a cliff (off-screen impact and no body shown), a guy gets speared in the chest in about as lame a manner as possible, a girl is crushed to death by a bear hug (but you wouldn’t know it were it not for the obvious sound effects), and then there was one hardly redeeming on-screen throat slit.
Being rather hokey (like part 1), this film just doesn’t feel like it was made by a mature filmmaker. It’s hard to believe that Wes Craven (The Hills Have Eyes, Scream, Cursed, Deadly Friend, Deadly Blessing) did this and A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) in the same year, with the latter so inspired compared to the former.
It’s interesting how the “seemingly” abandoned cannibal lair is approached by our protagonists much as the apparently empty house in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)—which also featured a culturally displaced and disfigured family of cannibals butchering twentysomethings—yet The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) seems to have borrowed and vastly improved the underground lair and its macabre accoutrements found in this film. This chain of borrowing butcher’s blocks festooned with human parts and disgusting subterranean lairs would additionally be followed by Wrong Turn (2003) and House of 1000 Corpses (2003) among others, but as far as I can tell, we owe the disfigured cannibal family motif to Wes Craven’s 1977 classic.
Unlike the original, this sequel ends with a stronger sense of finality in ending the threat of the cannibal family as our survivors and Beast walk away. Sadly, that might be the only redeeming quality of this film. However, much as other classics that feel so much “slower” and “tamer” today (e.g., Suspiria, Halloween), this film’s impact on the genre remains undeniable.
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Ranking the 2018 Revenge Movies With One Word Titles
‘Courtesy of Sundance Institute.
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2018 has been a great year for revenge movies with one word titles. Between Mandy, Upgrade, Revenge and Peppermint the world has been blessed with ultra-violence, chainsaw fights and a beer can phoenix tattoo. In honor of these movies, I decided to rank them in an effort to get more eyes on them (watch Mandy now!). I had a really hard time ranking Revenge and Upgrade because they are both exceptional movies that are expertly directed and performed. So, don’t think that being placed at #3 is a bad thing because every movie in the top three is worth owning.
Here is the list!
4. Peppermint
Peppermint was supposed to be Jennifer Garner’s Taken, however, it played more like her Taken 3. I was really excited for this movie because after Alias and Elektra we all know that Garner can beat up stunt people with ease. I’ve been waiting for her to get back in the action game and thought her teaming up with director Pierre Morel (District B13, Taken, From Paris With Love) would result in a fun action film with lots of revenge inspired mayhem. However, Peppermint is a dour little thing that looks drab and features good actors saying dialogue in somber tones. It features none of the fun of Taken and I hope another director is able to capitalize on Garner’s skills in the future.
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3. Upgrade
Upgrade is a bloody breath of fresh air that features top-notch production value, inspired violence and a solid lead performance from Logan Marshall-Green. It is a tiny-budgeted ($3-5 million) exploitation movie that showcases the DIY talents of director/writer Leigh Whannell. Whannell is the man responsible for the Saw, Insidious, Cooties and Dead Silence screenplays and you can tell he has been fine-tuning his craft to get to Upgrade. What I appreciate most about Whannell is how he can maximize his tiny budgets and create new worlds that feel heavily borrowed and totally unique at the same time. I can’t think of the last time I wanted a movie to succeed so badly because I’d love to see what Leigh Whannell will do next.
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2. Revenge
Revenge is a badass revenge movie that spins the genre on its head and builds to a bloody and bonkers finale that is 100% memorable. Director/writer Coralie Fargeat does a find job creating INSANELY unlikable villains and then using the barren desert locations perfectly to create an expansive sense of dread and hopelessness. Revenge puts actress Matilda Anna Ingrid Lutz through the wringer and she was clearly up to the challenge. I can’t think of the last time I’ve seen an actress go all-in like this, and you will find yourself cheering for her as she fights, crawls, grunts and fights more to achieve revenge. Watch this movie now!
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1. Mandy
Mandy is so much more than a “Nic Cage freaking out” movie, and I’m certain it will become a cult classic that is celebrated at midnight screenings full of loving fans who celebrate every blood splurt that sprays in Nic Cage’s face. It can best be described as a thrilling experience that bombards your senses with bright colors, loud noises and ultra-violence, that will either make you cheer or cringe. Director Panos Cosmatos has created a movie that feels familiar with its Mad Max, giallo and Clive Barker/Nicolas Winding Refn vibes, and totally alien with its fever dream cinematography, heavy metal score and dedication to anarchy. I love how Cosmatos found a way to combine the grindhouse aesthetic (lots of blood and heightened performances) with an unconventional arthouse style that will alienate the masses and gain a very loyal audience who embrace how niche Mandy is.
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Which 2018 revenge movie do you like the most?
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MY CALL: Basically, this is a well-made horror anthology for those not yet seasoned in gore or heavy terror. It’s pleasant, but the scares are mild and the dread has a low ceiling.
MORE HORROR ANTHOLOGIES: Dead of Night (1945), Black Sabbath (1963), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), The Uncanny (1977), Creepshow (1982), Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983), Stephen King’s Cat’s Eye (1985), Deadtime Stories (1986), Creepshow 2 (1987), After Midnight (1989), Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990), Two Evil Eyes (1990), Grimm Prairie Tales (1990), The Willies (1990), Necronomicon: Book of the Dead (1993), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Campfire Tales (1997), 3 Extremes (2004), Creepshow 3 (2006), Trick ‘r Treat (2007), Chillerama (2011), Little Deaths (2011), V/H/S (2012), The Theater Bizarre (2012), The ABCs of Death (2013), V/H/S 2 (2013), The Profane Exhibit (2013), The ABCs of Death 2 (2014), V/H/S Viral (2014), Southbound (2015), Tales of Halloween (2015), A Christmas Horror Story (2015), The ABCs of Death 2.5 (2016), Holidays (2016), Oats Studios, Vol. 1 (2017) and XX (2017).
The wraparound story focuses on a supernatural debunker—it’s a playful premise. Skeptical professor Phillip Goodman (Andy Nyman; The ABCs of Death 2, Black Death) is fascinated by people’s belief in the supernatural and their willingness to believe charlatans. Often under such guises as making documentaries about psychic powers, Goodman investigates and uncovers fakes. After receiving a curious package from a famous long-missing fellow investigator containing three cases he couldn’t solve, Goodman sets out to collect witness accounts of these cases of apparitions. This anthology focuses on three cases, told first through the perspective of the victim and then fact-checked by Goodman. Of course, Goodman makes some interesting observations of his own (and for his own story) along the way…
Case 1: Tony Matthews (Paul Whitehouse; Corpse Bride). Tony is an overnight watchman in an abandoned building… and strange things happen. Typical tropes are followed—lights go out, human figures in the darkness elicit jump scares, disturbing imagery in the shadows, creepy mannequins and creepier kids. It’s a haunted house sort of short story, featuring but a single serving (i.e., one sighting/event) from what feels like a much larger, unexplored story.
Case 2: Simon Rifkind (Alex Lawther; Black Mirror). Simon is a young man with peculiar parents and peculiar paranoia. Driving out in the woods one evening Simon hits some manner of goat-headed demon and flees the scene only to end up stranded with a stalled car. Awaiting roadside aid, Simon hears monstrous roars in the night and is terrorized by the creature. This “monster in the woods” or “evil enchanted forest” segment is far more comical than scary, with Simon attempting to defend himself (from a demon, mind you) with a rolled-up magazine and his swearing will undoubtedly provoke a giggle.
Case 3: Mike Priddle (Martin Freeman; Cargo, The World’s End, Hot Fuzz). A wealthy stock broker, Mike experiences a poltergeist after the loss of his wife during childbirth. He hears things going bump in the night, objects spontaneously stack themselves, and then things escalate… a lot.
Something of an oddity among horror anthologies is that these segments tend to have no origins, resolutions, or cautionary roles. They are simply accounts of strangeness and, as such, they feel rather incomplete; more like inklings of horror than segments in an anthology. They partially come together as the wraparound story unfolds in the end, but not in any manner that I found particularly satisfying. More just… cheeky.
Written and directed by Jeremy Dyson and Andy Nyman, this film is charmingly performed (particularly by star Andy Nyman) and captures the feisty exposé documentary style that I loved about The Last Exorcism (2010). But despite being well-acted and well-shot, this film feels like it’s for a less experienced (i.e., in horror) audience than me. Some reviewers have called this boring, but I beg to suggest it is actually that the nature (or maturity-level) of the horror simply isn’t at all intense—as if to titillate the fears of beginners to the genre (much like The Willies). I wouldn’t quite call this “young adult” horror, but more horror for those not yet seasoned in gore or terror. That said, anyone would be surprised by the “suicide scene.” That came out of nowhere! LOL
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The Night Comes for Us (2018), perhaps among the BEST EVER gritty Asian martial arts movies.
MY CALL: Not that I’m an expert on the topic but, all said, this may be the BEST EVER gritty Asian martial arts movie. The Raid: Redemption (2011) and Kill Zone 2 (2015) have been dethroned. There, I said it! MOVIES LIKE The Night Comes for Us: For more great Asian martial arts and/or gritty hard-R crime action, aim for Hard-Boiled (1992), Ong-Bak (2003), The Protector (2005), Undisputed 2 (2006), Blood and Bone (2009), The Raid: Redemption (2011), The Raid 2 (2014) and Kill Zone 2 (2015); followed by Kill Zone (2005), Chocolate (2009), Skin Trade (2014), Boyka: Undisputed IV (2016) and Paradox (2017; aka Sha Po Lang 3).
I consider the Kill Zone/Sha Po Lang (2005-2017) series to be the top notch gritty Asian crime movies with Kill Zone 2 (2015) by far boasting the most technically sound fight choreography and elaborate fight scenes. But not only that, these films have such well-manicured lighting, set design and cinematography as well as the solid writing and acting to transcend others of their genre. The Night Comes for Us readily compares!
After turning his back on the Triad and fleeing to save a little girl’s life, Ito (Joe Taslim; The Raid: Redemption, Fast & Furious 6, Star Trek: Beyond) is on the run and fellow Triad elite Arian (Iko Uwais; The Raid: Redemption, Merantau, Beyond Skyline) is summoned to “handle” the problem. That is, Arian and several other hit squads and assassins.
While on the run and in combat Ito’s eyes dart around wildly like scared prey, and Arian the calm, confident hunter. To compare their action movie demeanor, Arian seems flawless and unbeatable whereas Ito is more like a walking bruise that brutalizes his way through one foe after another against all odds (think Bruce Willis from Die Hard).
When we first meet Arian, he lays waste to a room of goons with masterful use; each strike, stab and break executed with the grace of a Matador, ever aware of his surroundings like an ancient monk. Quite to the contrary, Ito’s first conflict is the “seven butchers” fight scene, which has the most pleasingly crisp lighting and set design. The bright red sides of beef gorgeously contrast the stark meat locker and as the blood flows the surfaces are aglow in crimson. Ito has a far less confident, almost desperate sincerity to his fighting style. I yelled at the screen when a man was shot in the foot and his toes all but exploded across the floor, I laugh-gasped when Ito bruted a man onto a hanging meat hook, and I utterly cackled as we wandered into Evil Dead (1981, 2013) blood splatter-in-the-face territory during the bone shard impalements and the “bonesaw incident.”
Blood finds its way onto the screen with similar creative inspiration as to how Tony Jaa, Iko Uwais and Scott Adkins bring creative techniques and maneuvers. This isn’t just any violent shoot’em up or stab-and-grab. Chunky gory flesh wounds abound! With all manner of unique stabbings and innovative holes being blown and cut through people, this is every bit as brutal as The Raid: Redemption (2011) and an absolute blast for any gorehound or ultraviolent cinema fan. There’s a mushy head smash I’d put up there with Brawl in Cell Block 99 (2017), the police transport fight scene features heads and bodies getting “chunked” for lack of a better word, there’s some clever use of a sort of garroting piano wire weapon… and did I mention how this is perhaps the most “effectively bloody” film I’ve ever seen? I was constantly wincing and twitching about in my seat.
This is the kind of film in which every stab matters. I cannot recall ever seeing so many visceral neck injuries or “partial” dismemberments in one movie, so many different uses for meat hooks (including a mean “groin rip”), and so many strikes that forced me to react! Faces are literally blown off on-screen, holes are blown out of people’s backs on-screen, and tattered corpses pile up like a zombie apocalypse.
I still remember when I thought the opening fight scene in Fist of Legend (1994) was the most brutal limb-breaking maelstrom I had ever seen. Well, when Ito fights a warehouse of bad guys we get it with added blood, blades, and much meaner breaks—just rooms and rooms festooned with dead bodies. Moreover, I feel as if revisiting Hard-Boiled (1992) would be boring after seeing this—not that it wasn’t a wowing ultraviolent classic of its era.
Oh, but the ladies get to have their fun, too. Alma the garrotress (Dian Sastrowardoyo) and Elena the blonde assassin (Hannah Al Rashid; Jailangkung 1-2, Ritual, V/H/S 2) versus the Operator (Julie Estelle; The Raid 2, The Chanting 1-3, Headshot). This fight got serious. Really, someone tried to tuck their guts back in and keep on fighting.
What I love most about this martial arts movie is the complete lack of (obvious) wirework. No one did super-jumps or threw people ten feet or hit people across rooms. They kept shit real! Moreover, there were few moments of faster than 1x film to speed up movement in fights. It was very rare, and used so sparingly that most would miss it altogether. Again, they kept shit real!
But then it was just Arian and Ito… I have never, ever, EVER screamed at my television so loud or so often as I did during this HUGE, LONG, AWESOME fight scene. Perhaps best fight scene ever? You be the judge. This was epic and I’m not saying anything else about it.
Writer/director Timo Tjahjanto (May the Devil Take You, Headshot, V/H/S 2, The ABCs of Death) was someone of whom I had never heard—now his is a name I won’t forget because I now must see everything he’s ever done. Not that I’m an expert on the topic but, all said, this may be the BEST EVER gritty Asian martial arts movie. The Raid: Redemption (2011) and Kill Zone 2 (2015) have been dethroned. There, I said it!
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The MFF Podcast #158: Deep Blue Sea Commentary
Renny + Sam = Pure Gold.
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Tune In, Podbean, or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
The MFF podcast is back, and this week we are releasing a very odd commentary track. If you are a fan of Deep Blue Sea then you will love this commentary, and we recommend you listen to it while watching Deep Blue Sea. We figured after talking about it for years we should just release an incredibly in-depth commentary track that breaks down every aspect of the movie and builds upon all the great stuff we’ve written about it. If you are a fan of Deep Blue Sea you need to listen to this podcast episode.
You will learn a lot about Deep Blue Sea in this commentary. Trust us!
If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Tune In, Podbean, or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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John’s Horror Corner: The Crucifixion (2017), Xavier Gens’ exorcism movie that delivers all the gorgeous shots but none of the desired dread.
MY CALL: This is a well-made exorcism film featuring nothing we haven’t seen before and falling short of the desired and deserving atmospheric dread. But the jump scares are fun, it’s well edited and it’s gorgeously shot. So there’s that. MOVIES LIKE The Crucifixion: For more stylish exorcism movies, you should try The Last Exorcism (2010), The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005), and of course The Exorcist (1973).
Inspired by true events, this film opens with the type of scene we’ve all inevitably seen before (and many times over). Desperate clergymen rush through cathedral hallways with a restrained woman, eyes infernally blackened and feral, thrashing about and spitting poison. Crucifixes break, candles flicker, priests desperately chant, and the woman groans in agony with dark veins spiderwebbing her neck. There’s nothing innovative about the content here, but the camerawork is on point, the set design is elaborate, the colors are crisp even if bleak of palette, and the wardrobe was impressive. The blood was just enough to convey suffering (and did so effectively), but nothing beyond the reach of reality. Even if old hat, this is a very well-executed scene. Still… I find myself expecting more from Xavier Gens, a filmmaker who typically wows me.
Afterwards the priest and nuns participating in the exorcism are arrested for homicide. Intrigued by the story, reporter Nicole (Sophie Cookson; The Huntsman: Winter’s War) travels to Romania to interview the exorcist and investigate the story with the help of his clergy colleague Father Anton (Corneliu Ulici; The Devil Inside, Wer).
Supernatural events start slowly—candles blow out and doors shift without reason. Eventually we graduate to spiders emerging from nostrils and even pubic regions, expected telekinesis tropes, and raining indoors (which makes for a gorgeous yet uneasing scene).
This film is really shot well! But the horror was really just a bunch of loud screaming jump scares. I felt like I was seeing “just another exorcism movie” in the hands of someone with a better eye for the camera and staging. But despite the visuals, excellent editing and storytelling, there was simply nothing here I hadn’t seen several times over. Moreover, none of these common themes were presented any differently than I had seen before barring minor flavor components (e.g., raining inside). Even the majority of exorcism and possession scenes felt “standard.” I should be reeling during exorcism scenes and horrified by the actions of the possessed—but not here. Not beyond an occasional jump scare. It’s as if Xavier Gens accepted this job simply to cash a paycheck. And I mean this not to be mean, but simply to be critical of a brilliant filmmaker who has so impressed me in the past. Normally I take no pity on my review subjects, but today I feel a loss.
This (for me, personally) was a real bummer since I’m a big fan of Xavier Gens. The man has vision and a knack for reaching well beyond my expectations. I recall seeing The Rite (2011) and thinking it was pretty average and disappointing. I now yearn for The Rite (2011). We even briefly see creature actor Javier Botet (Mara, It, The Conjuring 2, REC 4, Mama, The Mummy, Crimson Peak), but not enough for his skill to make any impact. The most distinct scene separating this film from the subgenre would clearly be the horrifying moment when we see spiderlings swarming the possessed’s crotch. I’ll give Gens that much, he really got me there! That was delightfully awful. That, and that indoor rain.
My greatest disappointment was that the finale exorcism was so uneventful and short compared to the longer (better), more drawn out exorcism of the nun in the beginning (and flashbacked throughout the film). Even if one were to find excitement in the initial exorcism, the final exorcism could only disappoint by comparison, and then… everything was just fine.
Director Xavier Gens (Frontiers, Cold Skin) and writers Chad and Carey Hayes (The Conjuring 1-2, The Reaping) form a serious team. I only wish their skills could have shone here.
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John’s Horror Corner: Black Roses (1988), Rock and Roll demons and killer Muppets tempt small town teens.
MY CALL: This is more on the silly side of horror—but sometimes silly is exactly what we want. Complete with fun rubber demons, evil Muppets, gratuitous nudity and rock music-induced murder, this is a solid B-movie choice. MORE MOVIES LIKE Black Roses: For more evil rock and roll or heavy metal-related movies (in theme, story or plot-device), try Deathgasm (2015), The Devil’s Candy (2015), Jennifer’s Body (2009), Queen of the Damned (2002), Trick or Treat (1986), The Gate (1987), Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare (1987), Hard Rock Zombies (1985) and Rocktober Blood (1984).
From its very outset I’m not so sure what to make of this obscure 80s gem (in terms of tone). The opening scene depicts monstrous zombie-like demons playing a rock and roll concert. The lead singer (Sal Viviano; The Jitters) somewhat resembles the creature from The Terror Within (1989) with feathered 80s rocker hair, the guitarist (Frank Dietz; Zombie Nightmare, Tales of Halloween) resembles a sort of goblin zombie, and the others are just crusty chunky-latex zombie dudes. I’d like to see Rawhead Rex (1986) in the mosh pit!
This rock band (Black Roses) is on tour and bringing a small town its first ever rock concert, which has teenagers intrigued and parents in furious boycotting mode. With increased exposure to the Black Roses’ music, the local teenagers become more criminally delinquent and diabolically amorous.
I feel like more effort went into the rock songs than the special effects (although both were enjoyable). A hokey, very low budget, generally PG-13 vibe persists as we are introduced to a clumsy hand-puppeteered demon that gorelessly swallows a parent into a stereo speaker and students are rock and rolled into rubber zombie muppets. Although for its weakness in violence (i.e., early in the film), I was surprised by the abundant nudity—being by far the most mature aspect of the movie.
But everything starts to feel more “R-rated” later on as students are seducing adults, slitting their throats and bloodily bludgeoning them to death. The best scene had to be when a girl is seducing her teacher and turns into a gangly long-necked rubber demon (I’m reminded of Evil Dead 2’s Henrietta) which he fends off with a tennis racket. The lackluster finale culminates in a sort of King Koopa rubber-suited reptilian monster that is defeated by a swift kick in the balls and a rather unmenacingly small fire.
Director John Fasano (Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare, The Jitters) delivers something far more silly than scary. The score (not the band’s music) is surprisingly light-hearted, almost something from a family or adventure film. It’s… playful and anything but dire until deep in the running time. This has the spunky appeal of Leprechaun (1993) and, honestly, I often enjoy that!
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John’s Horror Corner: Uninvited (1988; aka Killer Cat), an evil mutant “cat-in-a-cat” movie.
MY CALL: This B-movie is for those of you who want to enjoy a few laughs watching victims get killed on by one by a wacky monster cat whose rules I don’t really understand. MORE MOVIES LIKE Uninvited: This sounds a lot like Man’s Best Friend (1993). For more cats in horror movies, try Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990), Two Evil Eyes (1990), The Uncanny (1977), The Kiss (1988), Pet Sematary (1989) and Cat’s Eye (1985).
Imagine if you will a cat… escaping from some sort of maligned research facility. A totally normal looking cat. And then imagine a smaller, meaner, uglier, evil cat emerges from its mouth and its assailant explodes in blood off-screen. Writer and director Greydon Clark (Without Warning, The Return, Satan’s Cheerleaders) must’ve been a fan of Aliens (1986). When this cat attacks it’s laughably like a hand puppet being shaken in the victim’s face—and I’d say that’s reason enough to watch this!
Wallstreet criminals Mike (George Kennedy; Just Before Dawn, The Terror Within, Creepshow 2) and Walter (Alex Cord) invite two college girls to attend their yacht party. Nervous about the expectations behind their invitation, Suzanne (Shari Shattuck; Death Spa) and Bobbie (Clare Carey; Zombie High, Waxwork) invite three boys to join them. When the escaped mutant cat wanders onto the yacht, Suzanne insists on keeping it for good luck.
We come to learn that this cat has been genetically engineered and that it has toxic saliva. I’m a bit confused as to how this cat transformation works. I’m beginning to think the little cat comes out of its mouth and flips the cat inside-out into monster-cat—which almost looks like a monster from Ghoulies (1985). But then later we actually see the little demon cat completely outside of the limp husk of a regular cat… so is the regular cat like a disguise it wears? And when the little one emerges, it then grows even bigger than the original cat suit only to shrink back down when it re-enters the cat suit? None of this makes any sense. BUT… it is fun to watch!
This mini-werecat nearly gorily tears out a guy’s Achilles’ tendon, gnaws off part of a guy’s hand, one poor dude dies from gooey face melting, and others fend off infections resulting in random blood-gushing.
Ultimately, this is a stupid movie about a monster whose functional rules I still don’t understand. But that’s perfectly fine because it made me giggle. So, if you want a few giggles, watch this dumb killer cat movie.
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John’s Horror Corner: The Hills Have Eyes (1977), Wes Craven’s cannibal cult classic.
MY CALL: More historically interesting (regarding its impact on the genre) than scary, this classic simply feels dated, a tad hokey and less engaging than I’d prefer. But I still recognize its importance. MOVIES LIKE The Hills Have Eyes: I’d stay really close to home if you liked this movie. Go with movies like Just Before Dawn (1981), The Hills Have Eyes 2 (1984), The Hills Have Eyes (2006), The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007), the Wrong Turn franchise (2003-2014) and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise (1974-2000s).
From the opening silhouetted shots of the southwestern desert mountains, the score immediately transports us to a place of general unease as we are introduced to a part of the country where busted car parts pass as landscape architecture. Just passing through, a well-to-do family on their way to California encounters some gnarly-toothed, cannibalistic locals at a beat-up gas station (a harbinger trope honored 35 years later in The Cabin in the Woods) and must survive their ongoing attacks when their RV breaks down in the desert mountains near an old nuclear testing site.
Our inbred mutant cannibals have assumed the names of Roman Gods, with the father appropriating the title of Jupiter. They speak like simpletons and wear bone jewelry like cave men and witch doctors (it’s sort of hokey), but they’re surprisingly organized when it comes to hunting passerby tourists.
Written and directed by Wes Craven (Scream, Cursed, Deadly Friend, Deadly Blessing), this film lacks the modern luxuries of manicured editing or the budget for buckets of gore and guts. Honestly, I find it on the verge of boring in terms of horror. But you know what? I also find it interesting in terms of horror history! To be fair this is a low budget classic from the 70s, so the gore is limited and the shock value of the film (e.g., the immolation scene) will likely not phase today’s horror fans reared on Hellraiser and Saw films. The gore is limited to a gutted dog and a brutal ankle injury (from a dog attack). The power of this film falls more in the hands of the surviving victims’ desperation.
The cast, particularly our traveling family, does well in the emotionally challenging scenes. Watch out for Dee Wallace (The Howling, The Lords of Salem, Critters) as the oldest daughter. As Pluto, Michael Berryman (Weird Science, Deadly Blessing) is awkwardly off-putting and convincingly presents himself as a barbaric simpleton. He was the most believable of the miscreant mountain family.
Now I love the classics. But the dialogue between the cannibals was just too hokey and over-explained to be considered “good” by today’s (or my) writing standards. A lot of people praise the Golden Idol originals over the remakes, but I feel the remakes have their important place to younger generations growing up with more dire horror under their belts. To be perfectly honest, I favor the 2006-2007 remakes for this particular franchise as I view this dated horror much as I do Suspiria (1977) or the original Halloween (1978). My enjoyment in these films (and, yes, I do enjoy them despite my criticism) is seeing how tropes were utilized back then, before themes were yet overused; their early iterations that inspired the films to come and the concepts that would be copied, honored, or ripped off by their successors. So, for me, watching such classics feels like taking a horror film appreciation class. And, even if a bit boring, I appreciate it for that.
Even if contemporary standards of executions are not met, many of the concepts are brutal. For example, crucifying Big Bob and lighting him on fire, gutting Beauty, implications of rape, and shooting the mother and grandmother in the gut without warning. This poor family is brutalized with no mercy afforded to the women (or, more accurately, the mothers).
The film ends very abruptly after son-in-law kills Mars, leaving several of both families still alive and unaccounted. Somewhat bleak, and leaving room wide open for the 1984 sequel to pick up.
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