30 Days of Night: A Fantastic Vampire Film That Doesn’t Get Old
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I’ve been a fan of 30 Days of Night since it was released in 2007. I love how it features a solid cast, A+ visuals, and introduces well-dressed vampires who are really mean. When I say the vampires are “mean,” I genuinely mean it because they are nasty f**kers who won’t hesitate to straight up destroy people. Director David Slade (Hard Candy, Hannibal, American Gods, Black Mirror) imbued 30 Days of Nights with a welcome dose of dread, violence and bird’s eye shots that make death and destruction beautiful to look at. Most importantly, famed horror disliker Roger Ebert had a soft spot for the movie and in his review he quoted a review from Dreadcentral.com that did a fantastic job breaking down the film:
If you are a horror fan, you will love it, and in the interest of equal time for the defense, I close with evocative prose by the critic Tristan Sinns from his five-dagger (out of five) review on DreadCentral.com: ” ’30 Days of Night’ grabs this hoary monster by the throat, pumps it full of the thick rich blood of life, and shoves it out to greet you, eat you and coat you in glorious mists of red firing from oh-so-many newly exposed arterial sprays.”
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If you are curious as to why I am writing a very late review of 30 Days of Night it is because I recently finished up Penny Dreadful (super good) and saw that this movie was now on Netflix. I’ve written about it in the past when it was voted one of the “best horror films that won’t be on any top horror lists,” and I later included in my “best 21st century horror moments” article. However, I’ve never written about it in-depth and after watching it again, I wanted to dedicate a review to it.
I was initially excited for the film because it was produced under Sam Raimi (Evil Dead, Spider-Man) and Rob Tapert’s (more Evil Dead) Ghost House Production company. I will watch pretty much anything Sam Raimi does and I liked David Slade’s Hard Candy, so 30 Days of Night seemed like a slam dunk. However, I wasn’t expecting the film to look so good or feature such extreme bleakness. Cinematographer Jo Willems (Hard Candy, Hunger Games 2-4, American Gods, Limitless, Red Sparrow) did a fantastic job, and his work elevates the proceedings and some of the shot/moments are drearily beautiful..
The bird’s eye view of the carnage is a brutal moment.
30 Days of Night revolves around a gang of well-dressed vampires attacking an Alaskan town that is settling down for a month of darkness.. The blood-suckers are aided by a squirrelly human “The Stranger” (Ben Foster) who goes into town in order to kill the sled dogs, take out the power, and glower like only Ben Foster does. Once all the communications have been shut down, the vampires attack and unleash an insane amount of carnage and blood geysers. The brutal attack doesn’t kill all the townsfolk and a handful of survivors lead by local sheriff Eben Oleson (Josh Hartnett) and his estranged fire marshal wife Stella (Melissa George) hunker down and attempt to survive the long night. From there, things get very brutal as humans are used as traps, child vampires spill blood, and several people are decapitated.
The biggest issue I have with the film is what happens after the massive vampire attack. I understand that the survivors had to hole up in various locations to make sure they lived through the 30 days of night. After they hunker down the timeline gets a bit wonky and the passing of the time doesn’t feel organic. The downtime grinds the momentum to a halt and focuses on some side characters making very bad decisions that gets them brutally murdered Also, I agree with a review from Empire’s James Dyer who thinks it could’ve happened in one night because we never get a feel for the 30 days.
An underrated aspect of 30 Days of Night is Josh Hartnett’s performance. Hartnett has been fighting monsters for over 20 years (Halloween H20: 20 Years Later, The Faculty, Penny Dreadful) and I totally believed that he could take out feral vampires. My favorite line happens when the lead vampire Marlow (Danny Huston – crushing it) says “The one who fights,” when squaring off with Hartnett at the end. It’s rare when you can actually believe that a character could win a fistfight with a centuries old beast.
I like Melissa George and Josh Hartnett together.
30 Days of Night is a genuinely good horror film that hits above its weight, looks beautiful and delivers the vampire goods. Check it out on Netflix!
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SUMMARY: This week we discuss the films Mayhem (2017) and The Belko Experiment (2016), and evaluate the fun cheekiness and brutality that divide these two films. We also explore the notion of “office horror” as a subgenre, the alliances and sociology between victims and bad guys, the utility of grand conspiracies as plot devices, and how exactly movie viruses spread.
Fans of this episode (or these films) should check out our reviews of Mayhem (2017; John’s Review, Mark’s Review), The Belko Experiment (2016), and perhaps even The Purge (2013).
For more horror podcast discussions, check out…
Episode 113: Elise, her Demons and the Insidious Franchise
Episode 108: The Best Horror Films of 2017
Episode 78: Carpenter vs Zombie Halloween Rematch (1981 vs 2009)
Episode 76: The Blair Witch Pod (1999-2016)
Download the pod on iTunes, PodBean, Stitcher or
LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
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The Killing of a Sacred Deer: Yorgos Lanthimos is a Madman, and I Can’t Wait to See What He Does Next
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Before I get into the review I really want you to watch a clip from The Lobster. Director Yorgo Lanthimos shot The Lobster before The Killing of a Sacred Deer and I think it will give you a good idea of what his films are about.
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What I love about Lanthimos is how he blends humor with pitch black comedy. You will find yourself laughing at the most insane things imaginable and you really don’t feel bad about it. His dialogue comes across an as an alien language that nobody on the planet would ever speak, yet it feels natural in his films. If you can get into the feel-bad vibe and overall insanity of his films you will find joy in the bleakness.
The Killing of a Sacred Deer revolves around a surgeon Steven Murphy (Colin Farrell) dealing with an incredibly squirrelly young man named Martin (Barry Keoghan). There is something amiss in their relationship and it’s evident he keeps this kid in his life because of a past wrong he committed. Steven lies about how he met the kid, and tells his wife Anna (Nicole Kidman – awesome) and co-worker Matthew (Bil Camp) differing stories that would never hold up. You can tell that Steven hasn’t thought this through, and doesn’t consider Martin to be dangerous or conniving. Steven introduces Martin to his family and very weird things start to happen. I’m not going to go into specifics because they are crazy and would wreck the insanity of the plot twists and ending.
Lanthimo’s dialogue is truly odd, but if you can ride it out you begin to understand the flow and appreciate what he is going for (bleak quirk). Also, this film and The Lobster have made me appreciate what a great actor Colin Farrell is. He was fantastic in In Bruges, The New World and Beguiled, but those roles weren’t quite as odd. In this film the dialogue is clipped, stilted and nobody on the planet would sound similar. However, Farrell embraces the odd and finds a way to own the dialogue and direction and have fun with it. If you are going to be in a Lanthimo film you need to trust him and I love how the actors dive in and embrace the art. Here a clip from the film that will help you get a feel for the dialogue.
In the end, I much preferred Dogtooth and The Lobster to The Killing of a Sacred Deer. I missed the dark humor that permeated Lanthimo’s first two films. I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy his latest effort, I just agree with Farrell when he calls it the “feel bad movie of the year.” The experience didn’t leave me shook or exhausted, it left me feeling like I enjoyed the film while never wanting to watch it again.
If you are into odd dialogue, dark humor and blood you should watch The Killing of a Sacred Deer.
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Kill Zone 2 (2015) aka Sha Po Lang 2, Tony Jaa meets his equals in this gritty crime thriller martial arts film.
MY CALL: So much more brutal, exciting and interesting than the first Kill Zone (2005), and featuring multiple excellent martial artists! MOVIES LIKE Kill Zone 2: Well, this is a sequel… so Kill Zone (2005) along with the far more brutal The Raid: Redemption (2011).
Any else love it when Tony Jaa gets those rambunctious running starts?
Kill Zone (2005) was about revenge—mean revenge. Now, ten years later director Pou-Soi Cheang (The Monkey King 1-3) escalates the plot to the black market organ trade. But much as the Fast and Furious sequels expanded their family values and geographic coverage, this sequel accordingly spans Hong Kong to Thailand and includes more family ties than its predecessor and that sense of blood ties urgency is strong here.
Chan Kwok Chung (Simon Yam; Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life, Ip Man 1-2, Kill Zone) and his nephew Kit (Jing Wu; Wolf Warrior, Kill Zone) get caught up with organ traffickers who run a Thai prison and incarcerate Kit. Our boss bad guy is in need of a transplant from his unwilling brother. Chatchai (Tony Jaa; Ong-Bak, The Protector, Furious 7) needs a transplant for his little daughter, and he works with her godfather as guards in the Thai prison. Oh, and the organ harvesting prison warden Ko Hung (Jin Zhang; Pacific Rim Uprising) is apparently an all-star ninja assassin in a three-piece suit. With all this going on it should come as no surprise that the plot gets complicated.
Much as I found Kill Zone (2005) to outweigh its martial arts with drama, so follows part 2 for most of the first half of the film. This had me worried at first. Both are very gritty mainstream crime movies that are more about the crime-fighting than the kung fu fighting, except part 2 lets the kung fu (and muay thai) shine in the second half. Instead of just bullet-ravaged bodies in firefights, we have guns disarmed in close-quarters, leading into modernized Asian action: kung fu while wearing suits because they offer such great mobility!
And speaking of martial arts, I felt that Tony Jaa’s acrobatic stunt talents were a bit underutilized, and his combat action and choreography in Furious 7 (2015) felt more “exciting” even if not technically richer or more stunt-heavy. But let’s be clear. I really enjoyed the action in this movie. When the fights fired up, the combat was richer with grappling and stabbings than part 1 (which was more classically techniqued).
Like its atmosphere, the fight scenes mix the style of chaotic street brawls and classic kung fu cinema; even the action photography and editing fit this notion.
The best fights are saved for the end. The tonfa-knife fight in the lobby was great, and the final fight brought together the three best fighters in the film for a long, drawn out, wire-work spectacle during which Jaa appropriately explodes into a whirlwind of knees and skull-cracking elbows. However, everyone gets their moments (and a LOT of them). Which brings me to the notion that, much to my surprise, this was not a Tony Jaa movie. This was a Jaa-Wu-Zhang triple showcase.
I appreciated the more visceral action, the amusing chaos of the prison riot, and the fact more than just one hero and one villain were able to brandish their skilled flare. In my opinion, way better than part 1 and well worth owning.
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Their Finest: Bill Nighy is the Best
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Their Finest is a refreshingly nice take on the people who looked to inspire the British populace during World War 2. Based on the 2009 book Their Finest Hour and a Half is a look into the film making of the 1940s and its obligation to promote the war effort. Screenwriter Gaby Chiappe does a great job of adapting the book and director Lone Schergif (An Education, One Day) works wonders with the way she balances the multiple themes and the large ensemble.
The film revolves around writer Catrin Cole (Gemma Arterton – always great) landing a writing job with the Ministry of Information to add a feminine touch to various scripts. She eventually finds herself becoming one of the writers on a film about the “true” story of two sisters who stole their parents boat and attempted to save soldiers on the beaches of Dunkirk. The major hurdle is the sisters boat never made it to Dunkirk, so it’s up to her and writers Tom Buckley (Sam Claflin – dude can act) and Raymond Parfitt (Paul Ritter) to “exaggerate” the truth and inspire the masses.
I loved the scenes featuring the writers figuring out the script because it showed how craftsman took a familiar formula and made it both entertaining and inspiring. The chemistry between the writers is fantastic, and I can’t think the of last time I was entertained by three people typing. Also, the late addition of an American pilot provides some of the biggest laughs of 2017. Jake Lacy crushes the role of an earnest pilot who has no clue how to act and has to rely on Bill Nighy to teach him.
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Their Finest is an incredibly charming film that blends drama with humor and features another fantastic Bill Nighy (dude is the best) performance. Bill Nighy is one of my favorite actors and I loved his charming portrayal of an older actor who has reservations about playing the comedic “drunk uncle” in a minor role. Watching him spar with Gemma Arterton was a highlight of the year and I’d pay to watch another movie with the two of them reprising their roles. In a perfect world Bill Nighy would’ve been nominated for an Academy Award.
Watch Their Finest and embrace a neat tale of film making.
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John’s Horror Corner: The Alien Factor (1978), a goofy sci-horror B-movie with lots of weird monsters.
MY CALL: Really ambitious, yet really bad. Honestly, as bad as it is, I was also sort of impressed by the ambition behind it. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Alien Factor: Perhaps Alien Predators (1985), Mutilations (1986) or The Being (1983)—all of which were much better.
Making his very first ultra-low budget film, writer/director Don Dohler (Nightbeast, Galaxy Invader, The Alien Factor 2) has produced something that is equal parts boring and amusingly hokey. In this clunky 77-minute flick, a spaceship transporting alien creatures from distant galaxies crashes on Earth. After the creatures escape and wreak havoc on the locals, a mysterious pseudo-scientist shows up to help.
As simple as this plot may sound, it’s more elaborate than you’d expect. And with such an obviously meager budget, I’m shocked Dohler created multiple monsters instead of just one. This hokey monster movie features an insectoid-humanoid creature, a stilt-legged orangutan-bigfoot with beetle mandibles, a rogue ball of energy, a couple more monstrous humanoids, and a giant lizard monster which was the pinnacle of bad effects (i.e., faded rotoscoping of the monster attacking a man whose reactions don’t match the monster).
Despite the abject quality of it all, I find myself admiring Dohler’s ambition. The monsters are all dumb, but a lot of work went into them and they’re all full-body pieces.
Not only were there numerous monsters that all find much screen time (however poorly executed), we also have a plot that’s much more complicated than one typically finds among such B-movie fare. A sort of UFO hunter/cryptozoologist shows up to help the sheriff wrangle the monsters; one monster is killed by a projectile syringe after a dozen bullets failed to pierce its hide; we never really get into the energy-based lifeform (I guess it’s just there to show how open-minded the writing was); a dying monster uses telepathy to help the humans; and, in the end, a peaceful alien is killed without cause as if to sprinkle in some allegory.
All things said, this was terrible and most of the time painfully boring as we suffer through the dialogue. However, a lot of work went into this and, in the right company, I think the diversity of bad monsters could offer some rich “bad movie night” entertainment.
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Mayhem: A Fun Blend of Chaos, Humor and Nail Guns
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Mayhem tells the age-old tale of a virus infiltrating a corporate office building and infecting the employees with a rage-esque symptoms. It is a fun romp that is bloody without going overboard and still manages to find some humanity in all the carnage. Director Joe Lynch worked marvels with a tiny budget and only 25 days to complete a film full of fights, blood, mayhem, monologues, more fights and more blood. He originally wanted to shoot in the United States but due to the lack of money the shooting schedule shrunk to 16 days. So, he went to Serbia, stretched the tiny budget, and created a winning film.
Mayhem revolves around a corporate dynamo having a very bad day. Derek (Steven Yeun) is a young up-and-comer who works for a large law firm that specializes in being an evil law firm. The day starts with him losing his coffee cup and eventually being set up for something he didn’t do. He is fired from his job (unfairly) and put in the firing line of upcoming lawsuits and reviews. Really bad news happens when everyone is infected by a rage virus that makes people lose their inhibitions and self control. The massive building is quarantined and chaos ensues when the crazy people realize they can’t be arrested for their “temporary insanity.” Derek teams up with Melanie (Samara Weaving – really good) so they can fight their way to the top of the building in order to clear his name and get her house back. What follows is a lot of violence, swearing and nail gun mayhem.
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What I found most refreshing about Mayhem are the new faces that were engaging in the insanity. Steven Yeun and Samara Weaving are charming together and I liked how they were given a showcase to destroy some folks. Yeun is very likable and even though he murders people unnecessarily I was always on his side. He brings a welcome amiability, and I totally believed he could scrap his way through copious amounts of corporate stooges.
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Samara Weaving (The Babysitter) has proven herself to be a game performer who rises above what could be stock roles (Watch her in Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri). She has a loose cannon vibe that makes her seem dangerous and I think she would’ve been great as Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad (Margot Robbie crushed it as well). I’m stoked to see what she does next.
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Upon first viewing I wasn’t too impressed with the set design and lighting. However, after researching the film I discovered more about the rushed schedule and limited resources which forced less-than-ideal conditions. I do think the harsh lighting (look at GIF above) could’ve been dimmed, but that is a minor quibble that doesn’t disrupt the storytelling. As MFF co-writer John mentioned in his review, Mayhem does share similarities to 28 Days Later, The Belko Experiment and The Purge, However, the similarities never bothered me because it has enough original material to stand on its own and be placed next to them. I appreciate that Lynch and Heun pushed hard to not create a “mean” film and I liked that it remained cynical while never teetering into anger and cruelness (See Belko Experiment).
If you are looking for a fun and ambitious romp I totally recommend Mayhem. I can’t wait to see what Joe Lynch does next.
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The 2017 Cinematic Recap: It Was a Great Year for Tailors, Turtles and Smashed Glassware
2017 was a very good year for cinema and I felt it was necessary to recap it with some random facts. I had a lot of fun surfing through the films because it reminded me of all the great coincidences, characters and random moments. 2017 featured great superhero cinema, solid ghost stories and Keanu Reeves destroying copious well-dressed villains. There are some movies that I will watch over and over (Free Fire, Logan Logan Lucky, Baby Driver, Thor: Ragnarok) or purchase the moment they are released (Hello Personal Shopper Criterion Blu-ray). In case you were wondering here are my 10 favorite (not best – here is that list) movies of the year.
10. Their Finest
9. Brawl in Cell Block 99
8. Baby Driver
7. Wind River
6. Wonder Woman
5. Thor: Ragnarok
4. Personal Shopper.
3. Valerian & the City of a Thousand Planets
2. Logan Lucky
1. Free Fire
Enjoy the random recap!
1. Various types of “tailors” had a legit year
Very rarely have I been intrigued by onscreen tailors. However, Guardians 2 and John Wick 2 featured some tailors I really wanted to know more about. Also, Daniel Day Lewis could make me an amazing suit in no time. His preparation for Phantom Thread was gnarly.
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2. It Has Been a Great Year for Horror Films With “It” in the Title
I love that Dolph Lundgren’s Don’t Kill It (89%) has a higher Tomatometer average than It (85%) and It Comes at Night (88%).
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3. The Rock can do anything but defeat the dreaded jet ski action scene
Baywatch (18%) proves that The Rock couldn’t defeat jet ski action scenes. I wrongly predicted earlier in the year that Baywatch would have a fresh rating. I made a big mistake by going against my gut and it cost me big time.
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4. Movies featuring turtles/tortoises had an impressive year
Turtles/tortoises were featured in several very good films this year in varying degrees.
- The Beguiled – 78%
- Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri – 93%
- The Red Turtle – 95%
- It (Lego Turtle) – 85%
- Lucky – 98%
Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 2 – 83% (Kurt Russell + Turtle creature = An interesting looking kid)
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5. Movies that Feature Robin Wright as a badass mentor/boss have been really good
I’d love to have Robin Wright as a tutor. If either of her characters from Wonder Woman or Blade: Runner 2049 were my boss I’d love going to work. However, things don’t always go well for her…
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6. Wonder Woman is in the highest and lowest rated superhero films of 2017
Between Wonder Woman (92%) and Justice League (40%) Gal Gadot had a roller coaster 2017. The good news is that Wonder Woman was so great that nobody cared that Justice League kinda rewrote her character.
*Based on the adjusted Tomatometer.
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7. Korg defeated the Pentagon Papers
We all know that rock loses to paper. However, Thor: Raganrok’s 92% Tomatometer score beat out Steven Speilberg’s The Post (87%). Korg is getting the last laugh.
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8. Movies featuring ghosts who shatter glassware were fantastic
Personal Shopper and A Ghost Story were two of my favorite 2017 films and they both featured ghosts breaking glassware.
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9. Logan was the name to beat in 2017
It’s really neat that both Logan Lucky and Logan have 93% Tomatometer averages. I loved each film and I hope Logan Lucky builds an audience because it is such a funny, nice and well made film.
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10. Movies proving that space exploration is terrible had almost identical Tomatometer scores
Space exploration seems terrible and movies that express that have almost identical scores. Alien: Covenant (68%) and Life (67%) both find very interesting and brutal ways to kill good-looking space explorers.
Why do people voluntarily look into alien pods?
11. The Colin Farrell/Nicole Kidman double header of The Beguiled and The Killing of a Sacred Deer had almost identical Tomatometer scores
If you want to catch a very odd double-header I totally recommend you watch The Beguiled (78%) and The Killing of a Sacred Deer (79%).
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12. John Bernthal was in five fresh films
Jon Bernthal is the best and he was in some very good films this year. You should probably watch them all right now.
- Baby Driver – 93%
- Shot Caller – 74%
- Wind River – 88%
- Sweet Virginia – 76%
- Pilgrimage – 69%
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13. Movies that featured people taking voluntary trips in non-action films were really good
If you are looking for movies featuring people taking voluntary trips you can’t go wrong with the movies below.
- The Lost City of Z – 87%
- Girl’s Trip – 89%
- Ingrid Goes West – 86%
- Last Flag Flying – 73%
- Get Out – 99%
What were your favorite random moments of the year? Let me know in the comments!
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John’s Horror Corner: Jason X (2001), a wonderfully bad movie featuring a sexy fembot versus Mecha-Voorhees in space.
MY CALL: This is bad in all the ways I like. Despite ignoring almost everything that ever mattered in the franchise, this was gory, had good pacing and energy, funny and clever death scenes, and was self-aware in its own raunchiness and style MORE MOVIES LIKE Jason X: Lovers of this film may not appreciate the early Friday the 13th (1980) and Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), and I’d only suggest part III (1982) for the sake of story completists. Then part IV: The Final Chapter (1984), part V: A New Beginning (1985), part VI: Jason Lives (1986) and part VII: The New Blood (1988) were all quite redeeming—with part VII starting a campier off-the-wall trend. So part VII and part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989) get a bit more silly, and Jason Goes to Hell (1993) is outright bonkerstastic entertaining mayhem—like Jason X.
For some detailed podcast discussions about this quality film check out episodes by the How Did That Get Made? and The Horror Movie Podcast.
This movie is the now 17-year old 9th sequel of a true slasher classic… yet a classic it most certainly is not. But a guilty pleasure it was in 2001, it is in 2018, and it will be in 2118—such a joyously bad movie! So, this classlessic begins on the Crystal Lake Research Facility… in space! Yep, you heard that right. Coming from a special effects background (e.g., Gremlins, Enemy Mine), director James Isaac (Skinwalkers, Pig Hunt) follows in the late ‘90s path of Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Leprechaun 4: In Space (1996) and Event Horizon (1997), and decides to take the Friday the 13th franchise to outer space.
Not only that, but we find Jason—who used to become ever more grossly decomposed with each sequel—perhaps in better shape (putrefaction-wise) than he’s been in a while. And not just that, but we find him ALIVE—and with no electrical Frankensteinian resurrection to be witnessed. So, for those of you keeping track at home…
Jason’s death and resurrection SIDEBAR: Jason Voorhees (Kane Hodder; parts VII-X, Hatchet) has been electrically (or telekinetically) resurrected and subsequently drowned (in Crystal Lake or a NYC sewer) in parts VI-VIII. Then Jason Goes to Hell (1993) broke any sense of rules and decided that Jason was a deadite that possessed new bodies either by heart-ingestion or wriggly mouth-to-mouth demon parasite transmission. In that movie, he was “permanently” killed by his sister’s daughter—yup, Jason apparently had a niece. No clue how he ended up on a space ship.
So, yeah. Jason’s back and alive and chained up on some sort of space station named after the very lake where he killed about 200 people (if we include his Manhattan graduation trip).
Franchise Timeline SIDEBAR: So when does this movie take place??? Part 1 took place in “present day” (1980), parts II-IV all occur in rapid succession 5 years after the events of part 1 (so 1985), part V jumped forward 5-6 years (so 1990-1991-ish) and (probably more of a writing flaw than anything) part VI took us questionably another 10-ish years yet further into the future (soooo, 2001…?). Part VII provides no time statement, but could just as well occur in the same year as part VI. I guess it makes sense that too much time hadn’t past, or the fish and freshwater bacteria would’ve whittled him down to nothing. So, parts VI-VII could have taken place in the same summer, and VIII is about 10 months later (into the next year; so, 2002???) since our victims are on a high school trip around graduation. No clue on part IX, but if it was also in about 2002, then the sequels have caught up within a year of present day! And now we’re going to the future. So, who even cares anymore? Oh, right, skip to the year 2455!
Jason has greater martial prowess than we’ve ever seen before… it must be the weaker gravity. He’s trapped in cryofreeze in a machete-swinging attack pose (pretty sure freezing doesn’t work out like that). Then a group of “space students” open up his chamber and decide to thaw the huge masked mongoloid holding a machete in an attack pose!!!!!
Incontinuity SIDEBAR: My past comments (see the sidebars in my reviews of part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan and Jason Goes to Hell) about franchise inconsistency get Hulk-smashed by the nonsense transpiring before my eyes as I watch with a sort of child-like wonderous glee. Ever since part VII: The New Blood (1988), things have grown ever more exponentially bonkers and I couldn’t be happier. Continuity out the window—from deadite destroyed by prophecy in IX to whatever he is now, Jason X and Freddy vs Jason violate the rules and timeline that perhaps once mattered to filmmakers and fans. So, I guess the timeline really ends with IX, right? You know, after his niece killed him when he vaginally (yes, I meant to type that word) possessed the dead body of his sister (and yes, they just decided he now had a sister).
Rather than playing off themes from A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987), NOES 4: The Dream Master (1988), NOES 5: The Dream Child (1989), The Hidden (1987) and The Evil Dead (1981, 1987) movies, this sequel decides to pull from an appropriately different genre. The sci-fi honoraria run rich as we have a David Cronenberg (Nightbreed, The Fly, Videodrome) cameo, Aliens-esque Colonial Marines and sinister financial motives, they’re from Earth 2 and en route to the Solaris space station (after the 1972 film), we have Trekkie jokes about “beaming” to safety, the Bishop-ish Kay-Em 14 (Lisa Ryder; Andromeda, Forever Knight) wants to be more human (like Star Trek’s Data) and has nipples and makes out with her inventor (not at all like Star Trek’s Data), and there’s even a gory little callback to Alien: Resurrection (1997; airlock scene).
The action, death scenes, special effects, make-up and gore are all adequate and entertaining. We have a juicy slimy gooey behind-the-mask scene during another messy Jason autopsy (as in Jason Goes to Hell), the sleeping bag kill (during the Crystal Lake simulation) harkened all that was good about the sleeping bag death in part VII: The New Blood (1988) and feistily played on tropes about as well as The Final Girls (2015; based on this franchise).
Overall this movie looks cheap… as in way cheaper than any of its predecessors. Sure, we have some wonderful “Jason pose” shots. But everything else is direct-to-DVD quality; like porn quality down to the ultra-cheap sets (in some cases). And don’t even get me started on the CGI spaceships. Geez. But with “cheap” can come “funny.” In a somewhat pinnacle moment of “Bad Movie Glory,” the ship’s repair nanites create an upgraded Jason that smacks of The Guyver (1991)—basically he’s a demonic zombie cyborg.
The spaceships are called the Tiamat and the Grendel (do we have some Dungeons and Dragons-mythology geeks among the writers?) and this sequel was hypersexualized (because… Dungeons and Dragons fans). There’s an S&M mid-term sex party, a scantily clad autopsy, a sexy resurrection in skimpy chainmail, sex scenes (Lexa Doig; V, The 4400, Continuum, Andromeda), and a love bot with magnetic robot nipples. Kay-Em reminds me way too much of Alice (Resident Evil; which actually came out after Jason X), all dolled up in a saucy tight black leather outfit, doing cartwheel kung fu, and playing superhuman gunfighter against Jason. But the real highlights are the liquid nitrogen head-crush kill, the crawling torso, and Jason’s second punch decapitation (since Jason Takes Manhattan).
In an elegantly graceful swan dive into a lake of clichés, Jason is ejected from the spaceship only to burn up re-entering the atmosphere of a presumably Crystal Lake-like camp. And while this was the last we’d see of Jason until the 2009 reboot, I thought it was a pretty fun ride worthy of my time (again).
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Goon (2011) was a breath of fresh air that featured fantastic performances, great sports action and lots of heart. Sean William’s Scott performance as a badass hockey enforcer who has a heart of gold hit a chord with me because it proved nice dudes could also beat people up. It featured a charming central relationship that let Alison Pill to shine, and allowed Leiv Schreiber to become one of the most believable badasses I’d seen in a long time. Goon is in constant rotation at my house and I’ve pretty much told everyone how great it is.
Goon: The Last of the Enforcers begins with Doug taking a beating to a hot new prospect named Anders Cain (Wyatt Russell). The beating forces him to retire from hockey, accept a job selling insurance, and settle down with his pregnant wife Eva (Alison Pill). The retired life proves to be boring, so Doug starts secretly training for hockey again and finds himself back in touch with his frenemy Ross Rhea (Liev Schreiber – always great). Ross starts teaching Doug the art of “southpaw” fighting, and enters Doug into some hockey fight clubs where he can get his mojo back. Eventually, Doug finds himself back on the team, but he has to learn to coexist with the new captain Anders (of course) who joined the squad after Doug left.
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Watching Goon: Last of the Enforcers was tough because it felt like one of my favorite characters was being lost in the shuffle and becoming something he wasn’t. I really disliked that Doug started to regress in regards to intelligence and earnestness. It didn’t seem natural that he would lie to his wife considering he is so honest he got himself beat up because he stole Eva from other guy. Also, Scott was so great in Goon I wanted him to have another showcase to prove he is capable of carrying non-Stifler roles in the future.
I listened to a lot of Jay Baruchel’s Goon: Last of the Enforcers interviews (Happy Sad Confused is the best) and it’s evident he loves the characters and put everything he had into the film. I don’t want to say anything negative about the process because he wanted to step up and direct. I’ve also worked on many sets and know how difficult it is to create a cohesive and coherent end product. I just wish that instead of turning it up to 11, Baruchel would’ve focused more on what he liked about the characters instead of making everything more broad.
I know I have no agency over the characters, but I didn’t like that Doug regressed as a person. It is a frustrating film that got better the second time around (Thanks Netflix). There are some very funny bits in Goon: The Last of the Enforcers (Holy shit on Mary’s tits) and it features a lot of people you like. If you go into the experience expecting a very different experience from the original you will find a lot to like about the film.
Watch Goon: The Last of the Enforcers and hope that Hollywood will realize that Sean William Scott has a lot more to offer than Stifler-esque roles.
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