MY CALL: Perhaps the most boring Italian horror film I’ve ever seen, this alleged sequel to a “haunted house” movie boasts nothing scary or particularly interesting. MOVIES LIKE Shock: For more (and decidedly better) Italian horror try The Other Hell (1981; still not so good), Manhattan Baby (1982; utterly senseless but entertaining), The Beyond (1981; awesome), Zombie (1979; awesome), City of the Living Dead (1980; awesome), Aenigma (1987; utterly senseless but entertaining), The Church (1989; utterly senseless but entertaining), Phenomena (1984; utterly senseless but entertaining), Suspiria (1977), Inferno (1980) and Mother of Tears (2007). That should get you started! ALTERNATE TITLE: Also released as Beyond the Door II.


This film is very, very, very slow. Not a slowburn, but just plain slow. It takes us forever to get to the point–which, by the way, I do NOT think is an actual sequel to Beyond the Door (1974). Perhaps in theme, although that’s it. But in the mean time we suffer through perhaps the most disastrously poorly scored horror film I’ve seen in a long time–and yes, I’m including synth scores. LOL.

Dora (Daria Nicolodi; Phenomena, Mother of Tears), her young son Marco (David Colin Jr.; Beyond the Door) and his stepfather Bruno (John Steiner; Caligula) move into a new home to find that Marco isn’t handling the transition so well. He behaves strangely and rather casually threatens to kill his mother. I think we can all agree that is NOT normal. Meanwhile Bruno secretly keeps the basement locked, yet somehow Marco keeps getting down there. I’m guessing we’ll discover some dark family secret down there later. Way to be subtle.

It turns out Dora had a tortured mental history after the suicide of her drug-addled first husband. And now it turns out their new home was her old home…where he killed himself! Bruno somehow doesn’t see how this would pose a problem. Dora is paranoid and being haunted by her bedroom furniture and spectral boxcutters, young Marco continues to act out, and Bruno is blind to anything out of the ordinary. Ultimately there is a twist, and I couldn’t care less.


Now I’m no Italian horror expert, but Mario Bava seems to tell a much more organized story than the typically haphazard Dario Argento or Lucio Fulci ever did. The problem, however, is that his easy-to-follow story has nothing interesting in it! I criticize Argento and Fulci to no end in my reviews. But make no mistake, they always manage to entertain me. This hardly boasts enough to keep my eyes open.


This was Mario Bava’s (Black Sabbath, A Bay of Blood) final feature film, and the only one I’ve seen so far. The quality presented here doesn’t exactly make me want to venture through his back catalog. I’m not saying this may not have been decent back in 1977, but by my 2016 standards this is awful. And not like “fun” awful–just plain awful, and dreadfully boring. My only joy that came from this movie experience has been writing about it. Sorry, Bava.

Stranger Things: A Modern Blast From the Past
Stranger Things is a nostalgic romp that brings the scares and Jaws references. I just watched all eight episodes and I think they are the best thing on television since True Detective season one (Fargo season two is close). A lot of the press surrounding the show has focused on how influenced it is by films like Jaws, Evil Dead, The Thing and anything Stephen King (King Steve). I get that it has many influences, but in a day and age of remakes, reboots, spin-offs, sequels, prequels and spiritual sequels I like that we got an original story that wears its influences on its sleeve and is unapologetic about it.
What I find most impressive is how The Duffer brothers were able to create/write/direct something that didn’t feel like a cheap imitation of what they loved when they were growing up. They took the greatest hits of their childhood and formed their own story. It would be too easy to create something without a soul and simply call it nostalgia (Jurassic World). Instead, they crafted likable characters, new worlds and a killer soundtrack in order to surprise the world. Stranger Things feel familiar but a lot of it is unexpected. I’d compare it to The Rolling Stones covering The Beatles. You know the songs, but it all feels new because we are hearing different interpretations of the songs.
Stephen King appreciates the copying.
Stranger Things centers around the hunt for a young boy who was dragged into a place called “the upside down” by a badass monster (viva la practical effects!!!). The ensuing manhunt brings together an eclectic group of characters who all have moments to shine. Whether it be the boy’s mom Joyce (Winona Ryder), brother Jonathan (Charlie Heaton) or his best friends Mike, Dustin and Lucas (Finn Wolfhard, Gaten Matarazzo, Caleb McLaughlin) they all have something to do. Add in local police chief Jim Hopper (David Harbour) and likable teenagers Nancy (Natalia Dyer) and Steve (Joe Keery) and you have a neat ensemble of people you like.
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My favorite character is 11 (Millie Bobby Brown). 11 has special “Professor X” powers and was raised to become a weapon by her “papa” Dr. Martin Brenner (Matthew Modine). However, something goes terribly awry, and she escapes from the evil government facility (very Amblin) and gets taken in by the trio of young kids. Throughout the show 11 puts herself in a lot of hurt to help others. She has seen things nobody else should see yet she keeps plugging along to help others and enjoy some Eggo waffles. Millie Bobby Brown has one of the most emotive faces I’ve ever seen. A lot is asked of her and she knocks everything out of the park. She is the true breakout star of Stranger Things and her character is going to become a fan favorite.
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I don’t want to get into spoiler territory because watching it unsullied was an absolute delight. I am still amazed at the pacing of the episodes and I kept expecting the energy to lag. The eight-episode season was a wise decision because there isn’t enough time for things to drag. I really like Netflix’s Daredevil and Jessica Jones but I’ve always felt that their 13-episode seasons were too long. Things get drawn out in the middle, and it seems like the creators are treading water to fill all the episodes. Stranger Things plows headlong towards a pretty great conclusion.
Stranger Things is drenched in 1980s set design and the soundtrack was carefully chosen to draw nostalgic responses from the audience. I had a lot of fun picking out the film references and my favorite moment involves bicycles and something flying in the air. The score is a nice call back to the days when John Carpenter (Halloween, The Thing, Escape From New York) was crushing synth scores that are still popular today. Check out the opening score and I guarantee you will want this blaring in your car.
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I loved every second of Stranger Things and I applaud the Duffer brothers for creating something more than a bland copy. Watch Stranger Things now and appreciate every second of the 80s (and some 70s) awesomeness!
I loved every second of Stranger Things (review here) and I hope that it leads younger generations to movies like The Thing and Evil Dead. The show proudly wears classic influences on it sleeves, and because of that it doesn’t feel like a shameless ripoff. The following post covers five films that you need to check out after watching the show. I know a lot of you cinephiles have watched them, but there are many people who aren’t insane movie watchers like we are.
Here are five films you should watch after finishing Stranger Things.
1. Under the Skin (2014)
Under the Skin is a mesmerizing film that captures Scotland’s dreary beauty while blasting us with the most sensory film of 2014. I love that there is zero backstory or expository hand holding. It is a remarkably simple movie that still leaves many questions unanswered. It is a pure and unadulterated experience that could be vivisected or simply appreciated. My advice is to turn off the lights, turn up the volume and allow yourself to fully appreciate a spellbinding experience.
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2. The Thing (1982)
The Thing is the greatest horror remake ever (aside from The Fly) and it features one of the best endings of all time (this isn’t hyperbole). If you are looking for gross practical effects and a great Kurt Russell beard you are in luck. John Carpenter stuffed The Thing with great music, suspense and characters. I could watch Kurt Russell and Keith David bicker and fight aliens all day. You need to watch The Thing.
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3. Evil Dead (1983)
My hope is that people watch the original Evil Dead then work their way through the statistically speaking greatest horror franchise ever. Evil Dead is a bonkers masterpiece that came from the brain of director and horror maestro Sam Raimi. What I love most about the Evil Dead series is the main character Ash (Bruce Campbell). He is a massive idiot who continually fails his way to the top and saves the day. Movies don’t get more bonkers than Evil Dead.
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4. They Live (1988)
They Live is a cult classic personified. It is weird, smart and features one of the best fight scenes ever. John Carpenter’s take on 80s consumerism is wildly uneven, but it has a fun personality that blends intelligence, insanity and glorious one-liners. You will never look at bubble gum the same again.
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5. Jaws (1975)
Jaws is my favorite film and if you haven’t watched it yet there is something wrong with you (or you are busy and have a life). I had a Jaws poster on my wall as a kid and I loved that the poster is featured prominently in Stranger Things. I know the majority of you reading have watched this film many times, but hopefully this serves as a reminder for those who haven’t. You need to watch it!
The MFF Podcast #66: The 2016 MFF Summer Olympics
You can download the pod on Itunes or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
With the Rio Summer Olympics right around the corner we here at MFF decided to contribute to the games. We compiled highly scientific lists (not really) and picked cinematic athletes who could win gold. These athletes have been training for years (or not at all) and they are ready to represent the country of MFF. I am 100% certain this crew would sweep up all the medals and confuse many!
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As always, we answer random listener questions and co-host Leavengood once again proves his undying love for Deadpool. If you are interested make sure to check our fantasy football and basketball teams. They are amazing and will change your life.
Sit back, relax and listen to discussions about E.T. winning several gold medals. Check out the MFF pod on Blog Talk Radio or head over to Itunes and listen to the randomness!
If you get a chance please SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW, RATE and SHARE the pod!
I love bringing together random cinematic characters and making them engage in sports. Whether it be Football or Basketball we here at MFF love considering whether the Sarlacc Pitt would be a great defensive back or power forward. The following post brings together a weird grouping of characters who could win gold at the Rio Summer Olympics. I’ve stayed away from the obvious picks and instead picked some more eclectic choices.
Here are the movie characters that could win gold!
James Bond (Skyfall) – High Dive
I love Skyfall and I’ve always wondered how Bond was able to survive the massive fall after being shot. if he can survive that fall I’d guarantee he’d kill it on the high dive.
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Snake Plissken (Escape From L.A.) – Modern Pentathlon
He already completed the science fiction pentathlon (surfing, basketball, motorcycle riding, hang gliding) in Escape from L.A. so I don’t see him having a problem with the modern version.
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E.T. (E.T.) – BMX Cycling.
I guarantee there is no rule for levitation because rulemakers would never expect that. E.T. would win on a loophole and the judges would be pissed.
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James “The Grim Reaper” Roper (The Great White Hype) – Boxing
I just want to see more out-of-shape Daman Wayans punching people. Dude was great in the 1990s.
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Ramada Thompson (Hot Shots) – Equestrain Eventing
Ramada’s horse skills are unparalleled and I guarantee she would win gold. You need to watch Hot Shots.
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Tiffany and Paul Solitano (Silver Linings Playbook) – Ball Room Dancing
They would definitely spice up the Olympics. I’d imagine they’d be the Eddie the Eagle of the dance world.
Frank the Tank (Old School) – Rhythmic Gymnastics
Frank did this beautiful routine on very little notice. Imagine what he could do with years of training?
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Nick Condon – (Blood on the Sun) – Judo
James Cagney has a black belt in Judo and this fight is bonkers proof. There are lots and lots and lots of flips.
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The Polecats (Mad Max: Fury Road) – Pole Vaulting
If they can master post-apocalyptic death traps these people would have no problem conquering regular sports.
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The Merman (Cabin in the Woods) – Freestyle swimming
The Merman would be a literal and figurative terror in a pool. Competitors would have no chance against this guy.
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Anybody from Top Gun – Beach Volleyball
The Top Gun fellas are absolute class at absolutely everything. It doesn’t matter that they do because they will be awesome at it. The net might have to be lowered though.
The Invitation: A Dinner Party With a Side of Cult
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What I like about The Invitation is I knew where it was going, but its destination was way better than unexpected. This little horror(ish) film takes its time and if you didn’t know about it beforehand you would expect this is simply another good-looking people at a dinner party film (is that a genre?). Director Karyn Kusama has made a film that delivers one of the best horror endings I’ve seen in years. She builds slowly and confidently and trusts her leading man Logan Marshall-Green to deliver a subtle performance that blends sadness, paranoia, anger and a great beard.
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The film opens with Will (Logan Marshall-Green) and his wife Kira (Emayatzy E. Corinealdi) heading to a dinner party thrown by his ex-wife Eden (Tammy Blanchard) and her partner David (Michiel Huisman). Eden and David have just come back from Mexico and they are hosting an “invitation” for a group of their closest friends. In Mexico, Eden and David joined a cult and they open up the gathering with a creepy video of a woman dying. The members of the dinner party are thrown by the video, but any skepticism is washed away by great booze and food. Nobody seems to notice the strange goings-on except for Will who picks up on random clues and is justifiably concerned that Eden and David invited a squirrely woman named Sadie (Lindsay Budge) and the creepy guy from Zodiac (John Carroll Lynch) over for dinner as well. As the old friends reunite everything gets weird and we left wondering where it is all headed.
The Invitation is told from Will’s uneven perspective and his paranoia begins to get the better of him. He is still reeling from the loss of his child and he begins to see things that may not be there. The film builds to a bloody conclusion that isn’t drawn out and plays realistic in the sense that nobody in this situation would know what to do. I don’t want to go any further into the plot but consider it something along the lines of The Sacrament meeting Coherence.
Movies like The Invitation are rare because they ask a lot of the viewer. In order to fully appreciate it you need to immerse yourself in it to get the full-effect. I totally recommend you check it out and embrace the dinner party shenanigans.
Bad Movie Tuesday: Gods of CGI Egypt
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Gods of Egypt is a weird movie directed by the talented director Alex Proyas (The Crow, Dark City). It is a bright blob of CGI that features stiff performances, white Egyptians and Gerard Butler yelling a lot. It is a mishmash of Egyptian history, glossy colors and a few really cool ideas. It represents the worst of big budget film making because it homogenizes cool ideas and moves so quickly you don’t care about anything. There are chases scenes, giant snakes and plunging neck-lines but it becomes boring. The $140 million film bombed at the box-office and feels like it was filmed in 2001, forgotten about, then dumped into the theaters this year.
I wonder if the distressed looks are from watching the dailies?
Gods of Egypt tells the story of the Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) attempting to get revenge on his uncle Set (Gerard Butler). Why does he want revenge? Well, on the day he was to become king, Set killed his parents, stole his girlfriend and ripped out his eyes. Set takes over world, and it becomes a gross place where nobody has money to go into the afterlife (Set is a jerk). However, a resourceful and underwritten thief named Bek (Brenton Thwaites) steals back Horus’s eyes and they go a mission to save the thieve’s girlfriend Zaya (Courtney Eaton) and kill Set. What follows is a bonkers movie that plays like The Immortals met Wrath of the Titans then teamed up with Prince of Persia and spawned something silly. It is stuck in a boring middle ground between blockbuster and Monty Python sketch. I kept waiting for this to happen.
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I’ve been a fan of director Alex Proyas for 22 years now. He stormed out of the gate with The Crow, then directed the beautiful Dark City. From there his talents were wasted in I, Robot, Knowing and now Gods of Egypt. His films are always best when they feature grimy settings and R-rated violence. His style doesn’t blend well with CGI because he needs something practical to ground the science fiction in. In The Crow and Dark City he created iconic characters and moments that thrived in the bleak and layered settings. His CGI PG-13 films are basically all smash, crash and more smash. The chase scenes follow a strict structure of people running from CGI creations while the CGI creations destroy CGI structures. There is no creativity to the action and I found myself missing the Brendan Fraser classic (yeah, I said it) The Mummy.
Gods of Egypt is a wasted world building opportunity. It feels like they put it together in a couple months and forgot about making it good. You can’t will a franchise into existence, and I hate that it might prevent future original properties from being released.










































