MY CALL: This is truly a “great” bad horror movie and it has more integrity than others of its generation. Although I wouldn’t recommend it to gorehounds, fans of classic 80s slashers will enjoy it.
Remember the days when all horror was rated R? Yeah, I miss the 80s, too. Those were the good old days when everything was either good or “bad” good. I’d call this particular 80s film a “great bad” horror.
Let’s meet this movies spoiled brats… The one on the far right looks like Jeremy Sisto and Sean Pean’s lovechild.
Meet Virginia Wainwright (Melissa Sue Anderson). She’s one of the smartest and most popular kids in school, but she suffers from memory loss and blackouts. Now, in the days leading up to her 18th birthday, her hip clique friends begin dying one by one in strange ways and many of them begin acting strangely.
As her friends become defensive, aggressive and damn near homicidal, Virginia slowly regains traumatic memories from her past. However, she also seems to be seeing some things that her friends aren’t seeing. All the while we are left to wonder just who is killing all these privileged private school brats? After the first kills, all we know for sure is that the victims know their killer. Is the killer the now mentally unhinged Virginia, or one of her snotty privileged friends?
Grin-worthy 80s lameness abounds. From the opening sequence we have a lame strangling which is salvaged by a most spirited struggle by our hysterical coed victim. The deaths range from ho-hum quality to laugh-out-loud hilarity. My favorite kill involves giving a mean spot while someone is doing bench presses, which of course reminded me of Killer Workout (1987; aka Aerobicide) and Death Spa (1989).
And the deliciously macabre birthday scene at the end smacks of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974).
The gore was definitely adequate for its time, but nothing special. This film is clearly more for classically bad 80s slasher fans than sloshy gorehounds, and this lacks the level of zany gore suggested by the DVD cover art. Fans of the 80s will be pleased to see Lisa Langlois (The Nest, Phobia). And by the way, this was directed by J. Lee Thompson (the original Cape Fear, Conquest of the Planet of the Apes)!
Not as sensational as I expected this scene to be.
Maybe what sets this 80s slasher most apart from the rest is that it is filled with red herrings. Virginia’s flashbacks, blackouts and possible hallucinations combined with her friends’ changing behavior offer ample opportunity to misdiagnose the killer. The ending packs such a twisted punch that it would make the plot of a Mexican soap opera seem plausibly reasonable.
This 80s slasher maintains a great deal more integrity than its peers as well. There is no nudity and some effort was clearly placed in constructing the twist-rich plot. I’ll say that again, this is a low budget 80s horror/slasher flick with a thoughtfully made plot. That never happens! That’s reason enough to consider it worth seeing. But, plot aside, this is fun in its own right anyway. I really enjoyed it.
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MY CALL: This semi-art house, semi-perverse film is only for lovers of true indie horror. That said, this was well-done considering its shoestring budget. MOVIES LIKE Night of the Tentacles: Lo (2009) was another bare bones budgeted film that had a lot to say. Dagon (2001) is another tentacular horror love story. The Boogens (1981) and The Kindred (1987) provide some classic 80s tentacle movie monster fun. And Grabbers (2012) offers about as good a time as a ball of tentacles can deliver.
After suffering some serious heart complications, fantasy erotica artist David (Bath Salt Zombies, Easter Casket) strikes a deal with the Devil for a new heart. He didn’t turn to Medicaid or venture to Canada for cheaper solutions…nope. The Devil had just what he needed. And with that David’s heart is replaced by a tentacle monster in a wooden chest. Just one problem: the monster needs to be fed living flesh in order to survive. The monstrous heart is eloquently voiced by an Bill Nighy sound-alike.
So, yeah…this is what the Devil looks like in this film.
Writer/director Dustin Mills (Bath Salt Zombies) clearly made an effort with this script. His writing is far from brilliant, but he definitely deserves credit for delivering far more than I’ve come to expect from the vast majority of direct-to-DVD horror. Theatrical devices like overt melodrama, narration and asides add an irregular flavor to this film. Whereas this flavor may please the art house crowd, some may find it over-the-top and distasteful.
Speaking of distasteful… Is there a lot of sexuality and perversion? Yes. But I see it as being used more as an exploitative “device” than purely as a crutch to cover the film’s shortcomings. There’s masturbation, which seems to reveal our protagonist’s desperation, and nudity, which does not utilize the typical stripper-cast actresses. There are also several sex scenes with little to no nudity.
Some of the acting in this is real crap (sorry, but I’m referring especially to Dustin Mills’ cameo) and the effects are about as cheap as they come. But considering this film had a budget of about $1500, I think I’ll let it slide. If you can make anything that entertains me for that cheap, then you’ve succeeded as a filmmaker. The closing action sequence is awful and fun and, for the few dollars left in the budget, they tried to do a lot with the gore.
I should note that whereas this film is not nearly as deep or art house-ish as Lo (2009), the style is similar enough to warrant comparison. Those who love true indie horror will likely enjoy this film. But just because you consider yourself an adventurous horror-goer, that doesn’t mean this is for you.
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MY CALL: A wholesome, cute, spunky, almost Disney-esque horror movie with none of the rated R-ness but just enough evil to take it seriously at times. MOVIES LIKE Odd Thomas: The “adultness” of this matches up well to the first three or four Harry Potter films. However similar in tone, this movie is considerably less wowing and lacks the enchanting world-building elements. The Men in Black franchise feels like a close sci-fi counterpart, despite having no younger actors.
“I see dead people?” Well, it’s been done. But it’s been a while since I cared. So I gave Odd Thomas a shot and I’m glad I did. It offers up something that may not be meant for me, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So Odd Thomas (Anton Yelchin; Fright Night, Star Trek: Into Darkness), a boyish young man, sees dead people. Playing out with all the carefree background mood and pleasantries of an episode of Desperate Housewives–and all of the almost playful menace as well–Thomas lives in a nice California town surrounded by nice people where he solves crimes using clairvoyance. One day Thomas may be avenging a kind ghost’s wrongful end and the next, stopping a killer from continuing his latest spree. But when things are going to become really bad Thomas sees Bodachs, evil nether creatures which sense the disastrous upcoming events and feed on the death and suffering that ensue. Our story picks up when Thomas starts seeing a disturbing number of Bodachs invisibly lingering about a strange man who clearly has a doomed future and a dark past.
Is it me, or does this guy look like Edgar from Men in Black? Remember the Edgar suit?
Bodach (above); Dungeons and Dragons Bodak (below)
Thomas has a wholesome girlfriend named Stormy (Addison Timlin; That Awkward Moment, Californication) who has the Disney sitcom dream of owning her own ice cream shop in the mall. She’s spunky, brave and supports Thomas is all his odd dealings with the dead.
Thomas’ main squeeze, Stormy. Isn’t she just cuter than a puppy made out of kittens?
Another clutch comic book style role is the chief of police (Willem Dafoe; Spider-Man, Antichrist), who is a friend and confidant, and is also aware of Thomas’ secret . Like a crime-stopping kid show, the chief is on speed-dial and he trusts Thomas and Stormy’s word, sending police aid on request.
“Yes, this is the chief…oh, hi Thomas…sure, how many officers should I send to help you…no problem, I trust your dead-people-seeing judgment. Toodles!”
The special effects are not great, but feel strangely appropriate, if not perfect, considering the “Disney-goes-PG-13” feel of this film. I’m not making fun of it at all. This feels like Disney’s answer to the old Nickelodeon show Are You Afraid of the Dark (1991-2000).
As for the action, normally my answer would be “absolutely not.” As an adult, I did not find Anton Yelchin’s physical prowess in this movie credible. No matter how well-choreographed the fights may have been, and with all their cool slow-motion bits and chase sequences, I simply don’t buy this little guy as a fighter or athlete. But here’s the thing. It all looked so good and, again, empowering our smaller-statured boyish protagonist just seems to match the wholesome feel of this movie perfectly.
However often I reference Disney in this review, there was at least one scene that shamelessly brandished a common horror trope.
Director Stephen Sommers (The Mummy, Van Helsing) had some fun with this one, which feels like a PG-13 Disney Rom-sitcom horror stretched into a movie. It’s often charming and cute, the story is cohesive, and it all comes to a touching end. Watch it on family movie night if you have some tweens who aren’t ready for real horror just yet.
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MY CALL: This fun, monster-driven B-horror movie follows The Thing‘splaybook. It’s entertaining, but I’m not going to suggest you break down doors to see it. MOVIES LIKE Blood Glacier: The Thing (2011). ALTERNATE TITLES: This Austrian film was released by the name Blutgletscher. This was also title The Station. TRAILER: CLICK HERE to see the TRAILER.
Finally, a film with a message! This film addresses the important questions, like “What will happen to us if the polar ice caps melt?” The answer: we’ll all be starring in a mash-up of National Geographic and The Thing (2011)! I figure this is the inconvenient truth that Al Gore wanted you all to think would happen as a result of global warming if you don’t start investing in more solar panels.
This film opens with blatant over-exposition “explaining away” why each character is important in a color-by-numbers format. Our story takes place at a climate research station in the Alps housing four people and a dog. Did you just cringe, thinking about the dog kennel scene in the original The Thing? Yeah…me, too.
During some sort of “weather patrol” with the dog (wink, wink) they stumble across a “blood glacier.” They briefly lose track of the dog and everyone somehow gets conveniently cut or bruised. From here, the auspiciously scored “infection sequence” is so obvious there may as well be smoke signals. But it’s not just the researchers we have to worry about. The blood from the thawing glacier infects the local wildlife with some hybridizing single-celled organism that mutates them into hideous monsters. HOORAY!
The effects are not exactly high-tech, but they get the job done and the clumsily-puppeted rubber creatures put a big grin on my face. There’s a beetle-fox mutant (think The Nest), a giant killer roly-poly (think The Bay), giant mosquitoes, evil mountain goats, insectoid birds of prey…see the grin forming yet?
There’s nothing in this movie you haven’t seen before many times over. The scene with examining and explaining the virus/parasite/mutagenic thing, the infected dog scene, watching the clock as infected people become a liability, pulsating parasitic infections housing brooding monsters… I mean, there’s basically even a facehugger scene. Speaking of facehuggers, in the opening scenes the strong female scientist character feels almost as if they were trying to make her reminiscent of Sigourney Weaver in Alien.
Yup…been there, done that.
Is it just me, or does this guy smack of the The Thing’s MacReady? Or Joel Edgerton’s “not Macready” character from the “not remake” prequel?
Yup…narrow eyes and beards across the board.
SO, WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER? Well, there is the bummer that this was not in English. This isn’t necessarily a “flaw”, but I don’t speak German. I saw it dubbed in English, so I wasn’t distracted from the effects by “reading” the movie or anything. But the dubbing quality was akin to a less-popular Anime and the characters’ mood and enthusiasm rarely seems to match the scene. You also get little appreciative sense of the acting and you can basically hear in the tone of the voice actors that they simply don’t get paid enough to care. I felt this especially detracted from the humor of the opening scene, in which the debilitatingly hungover technician Janek (Gerhard Liebmann) is called to fix a glitch in his underwear.
Director Marvin Kren (ABCs of Death 2, Rammbock: Berlin Undead) successfully delivers a trope-rich, predictable, fun monster movie that should please horror fans and gorehounds. I’d save this for the fanatical, though. Folks who watch “a scary movie” once a month will likely consider this terrible.
Follow me on Twitter: @MFFHorrorCorner https://twitter.com/MFFHorrorCorner
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MY CALL: Very entertaining, but it’s not making any “top” lists this year. This film was good-but-mismanaged and found greatness out of reach due to weak story synthesis and character development. However, this movie is rich with charm, jumps and excellent production value. So watch it with a date instead of with a horror snob. MOVIES LIKE The Quiet Ones: Case 39 (2009), The Conjuring (2013) and Oculus (2014) all share some positive elements of this film.
Loosely based on a true experiment that took place in Oxford in 1974, this film delves deep into the notion that what we commonly consider “the supernatural” actually represents telekinetic and “teleplasmic” manifestations of the minds of disturbed believers. Led by Professor Coupland (Jared Harris; Poltergeist, Pompeii, The Ward), graduate students Krissy (Erin Richards; Open Grave, Being Human) and Harry (Rory Fleck-Byrne; Vampire Academy) and videographer Brian (Sam Claflin; Snow White and the Huntsman, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire) band together to investigate the psychic phenomena produced by the suicidal young Jane (Olivia Cooke; Bates Motel) with hopes of “curing” her.
That’s right, Jane. Put all of your psychic animus into the doll…becas
From Act One to the next weird things happen, Coupland’s methods are called into question as Jane’s health is placed at increasing risk, and Coupland shifts from methodical to manic in his obsession to cure her. Both Coupland and Brian share a competitive interest (almost a sexual fixation) in saving her, but go about doing so by conflicting means. Jared Harris’ psychological descent is impressive and committed whereas Sam Claflin embraces his character’s own brand of emotional fragility.
This film was filled with entertaining moments including shocking effects, gripping jump scares and some long scenes tensed up with a solid creep factor. I’d add that the acting was very good; great, in fact, for a horror film. Olivia Cooke managed to capture crazy, disturbed, scary, dangerous and sympathetic all at once. The style of the film goes from something like a “house” movie, to a demonic possession movie, and then to something altogether different which I don’t want to spoil (not that it’s anything super special).
Jane has her good days (above) and her bad days (below).
However, as the story shifted gears from skeptical science and rational explanations to “what have we gotten ourselves into?” I found myself generally uninvested in the characters and the outcome. Don’t get me wrong, the movie is not without its charm, I enjoyed it and was entertained, and I really “liked” the characters. The thing is, their “development” didn’t lead me anywhere interesting. And whereas the facets of the story (and the scenes behind them) were independently interesting, they failed to find any of that effective and satisfying synthesis that makes us care if the protagonists succeed.
This actress really captures desperate, bewildered loneliness in a sort of Christina Ricci way, doesn’t she? Like a grown up (and psychologically messed up) Wednesday Addams.
Director John Pogue (The Skulls, Quarantine II) may not have wowed us with this film’s story synthesis. But, given his résumé, this represents a good step forward in his professional development and I must admit that it was very entertaining. However, the premise itself is more interesting than its execution. It won’t please gore hounds or story snobs who pine only for unique horror fare–and who, might I add, are almost never 100% happy with what they’re served–but it will please the popcorn “movie night” guys who just want to see good effects, enjoy acting that doesn’t hurt their soul, and laugh at well-placed jump scares. It would probably be a good scary movie on date night as well. Had it only balanced its writing with its quality scares, acting, ideas and filming with a better screenplay, this would have been quite good instead of good-but-mismanaged.
To the less-initiated and perhaps younger horror fan, this PG-13 film may serve as a great introduction to horror. Those who aren’t overly critical or “so tired” of loud-noise induced jump scares should get a real kick out of this. What it lacks in character development and cohesiveness it more than makes up for with jumpy scares, neat effects, minimal gore, great acting, solid production value and a cool premise.
Follow me on TWITTER: @MFFHorrorCorner https://twitter.com/MFFHorrorCorner
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Sorcerer is a lost classic that pushes the boundary of cinema and holds up well because of its practical effects, timely plot and singular artistic vision. The 1977 remake of the 1951 film Wages of Fear revolves around four men who take the dangerous job of driving nitroglycerin through the jungles in order to put out a massive oil well fire. It is dirty, tense and you are worried for the actors safety as they wade through jungle water and drive over the worst bridge ever (which cost three million because of location changes and drought).
Directed by William Friedkin (Exorcist, French Connection) the film got lost in the 1977 hubbub of Star Wars. It was a disaster that went overbudget due to location shooting, drought and the unpredictability of mother nature. Friedkin’s hubris didn’t help as he wanted total artistic control and turned down actors like Steve McQueen and Robert Mitchum. His insistence on location shooting whittled down much of his crew and proved to be incredibly dangerous. Friedkin did an interview with Yahoo where he discussed the perils:
It was dangerous. I mean, it was way beyond what I would do today. I would never risk my own life and the lives of others the way I did on this film,” says Friedkin, who contracted malaria and lost some 50 pounds after the shoot. “It was extremely dangerous to do so much of it, and I had a kind of sleepwalker’s certainty that I could pull it off and that nobody would be hurt. But it was life threatening. The scenes on the bridge, a lot of the driving, much of which the actors did themselves.
The film disappeared and became a lost classic. Eventually, Friedkin won the rights back and now the film is becoming embraced. Sorcerer is one of Tarantino’s favorite 12 films and the Blu-ray release has been getting cinephile coverage ad nauseam. I had a sinking suspicion that Sorcerer is a classic case of the building up of a decent film over years of being mythologized. Happily, my suspicions were assuaged as I sat glued to my seat watching the primal man vs. nature tale. It is an unloved classic that might be one of the best remakes ever (The Thing is the best). Also, the cast is fantastic and you believe 100% they could succeed where many others would fail. Their all-in acting certainly wouldn’t happen today.
Watch Sorcerer. Appreciate an artistic vision. Never accept a mission driving explosives through untamed jungles.
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The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is a scattershot cash grab that looks toward the future and doesn’t focus on the now. It is a committee movie that takes a talented cast and intriguing story and makes them so bland you’ll miss Spider-Man 3. You constantly hope for some (500) Days of Summer personality/romance or a dance scene like this.
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The Amazing Spider-Man 2 feels like a checklist of a film. Introduce tons of villains. Check. Ensure many spin-offs. Check. Waste an Oscar-winning actor as a villain. Check. Fail in the inevitable comparison to Spider-Man 2. Check. Do you know why Spider-Man 2 is one of the most critically appreciated comic book films? It balances a solid story with a great villain. A villain who was built with care, purpose and a deep emotional focus. When Spidey fought Doc Ock. you were on the edge of your seat. The two men felt human and their battles beat the crap out of them.
After The Amazing Spider-Man failed to give enough screen time to one villain I wondered how the second film would juggle multiple baddies. The answer is they never tried to juggle them. They wedged them in, edited down their backstories and added tons of CGI. Does Sony really think that by giving us five minutes of each character (Rhino, Black Cat? Gustav Fiers, Alistair Smythe) that we will care about their further exploits? I figured Sony would learn from Marvel and take time with their villains (Sans the dang Dark Elf and Mickey Rourke’s Whiplash). When Electro is blowing up the city you feel nothing because the script never allows you. Electro’s backstory is so bad you begin to realize how great Milton was in Office Space (you will know what I mean).
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 feels rushed even though it is 142 minutes. The amount of world building, character introductions and mourning never feels like enough. The only reason you care about the Parker-Stacey relationship is because Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield have fantastic chemistry. Sony nailed the casting but lost their actors in the massive budgets and many rewrites. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 feels incredibly expensive. The sets, CGI and thousands of extras don’t mean a thing because the story is so unfocused. Instead of building relationships we are stuck with a ten minute subplot about two planes crashing. Why are the planes in the film? Who are the people on the plane? Who are the air traffic controllers? Why does anyone care?
Sony will make a lot of money on The Amazing Spider-Man 2. However, they are diluting the character and hurting themselves in the long run. Their rush to release Spidey films have resulted in subpar efforts that will ultimately force them to reboot the series once again. I understand they want to keep the Spidey rights but do they have to expedite a famous character into existence via tons of money and unfinished scripts? My only hope is they use Felicity Jone’s character well. She is a fantastic young actress who could be a solid villain/love interest/partner in Spider-Man’s future.
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Mark’s Fifteen Most Anticipated Films of Summer
Hello all. Mark here.
The summer season is upon us again! The movie theaters will be inundated with big budget blockbusters that won’t reinvent the wheel but might blow up a few. Amongst the expensive carnage there are several films that might get lost in all the hubbub. What do these films have in common? I want to see them all and they will offer something unique, different or daring in a season of sequels, remakes and reboots.
Enjoy!
Chef (May 9)
Before Jon Favreau was directing Iron Man and Cowboys and Aliens he was an indie maestro who dabbled in Christmas comedy (Elf),wrote Swingers, directed Made and had many conversations in Dinner for Five.
Chef sees him returning to the indie scene and bringing his friends with him. Chef features one of my favorite actors John Leguizamo and revolves around a disgraced chef who opens a food truck in Miami. It will be interesting to see if Favreau can still tap into the low-budget scene after so many years of juggling massive films.
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Million Dollar Arm (May 16)
Cool Runnings, Invincible, The Rookie and Miracle are all fantastic film.s Million Dollar Arm will look to continue the trend of true story awesomeness. Directed by Craig Gillespie who helmed the underrated Fright Night remake. Million Dollar Arm centers around Jon Hamm’s sports agent recruiting two Indian cricket players to play Major League Baseball. Expect big laughs and bigger emotions. I think Million Dollar Arm will be the sleeper of summer (I am kinda biased because I worked on it).
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Filth (May 30)
I’m thinking Filth will be to James McAvoy as In Bruges was to Collin Farrell. Based on the Irvine Welsh (Trainspotting) novel the movie has gotten great reviews overseas and features a fantastic cast including Imogen Poots, Eddie Marsan and Jaime Bell.
I love this picture.
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Edge of Tomorrow (June 6)
The original title “All You Need is Kill” was much cooler but there is something about this film that looks interesting. Watching Tom Cruise get trained by Emily Blunt as they die continuously in order to kill evil aliens looks fun. The movie will look fantastic, feature a badass female heroine and play like a violent Groundhog Day.
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How to Train You Dragon 2 (June 13)
With no Pixar film out this summer HTTYD2 will rule the summer. I loved the first film and the second should be beautiful to behold on IMAX 3D. I can’t wait to watch the further exploits of Toothless and crew. Also, you have to love the people doing the voiceovers (TJ Miller, Jay Baruchel, Craig Ferguson, Gerard Butler etc..)
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The Rover (June 13)
Animal Kingdom director David Michod reunites with Guy Pearce for a gritty Australian film that will undoubtedly be awesome. They are calling this $12 million film a “more menacing Mad Max.” Yes, Please! Rover cannot be released soon enough.
Sidenote: If you haven’t watched Animal Kingdom do it now.
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Snowpiercer (June 27)
Based on a French graphic novel Snowpiercer is Bong-Joon ho’s (The Host) English language debut. The most exciting thing is that mainstream America will finally see Song Kang ho (Thirst, Good, the Bad & the Weird, The Host) in action. He is an amazing actor who has been doing spectacular nuanced work for many years. Also, this may be a loose connection but one of my favorite films is Sunshine. Chris Evans was in Sunshine and he is in Snowpiercer. I will call them the hot and cold badass combination. I’m hoping for big things.
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They Came Together (June 27)
Paul Rudd and Amy Poehler are back with David Wain (Wet Hot American Summer). Need I say more? Watch the trailer. Love it.
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Begin Again (July 4)
John Carney directed Once. Once is one of my favorite films. John Carney directed Begin Again. It will be amazing. However, the two posters are way too similar.
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Boyhood (July 11)
Richard Linklater can do no wrong. His projects (Before trilogy, Dazed and Confused, School of Rock, Waking Life, Scanner Darkly) are things of beauty. I’m stoked for Boyhood because it was shot over the course of 12 years and features the evolution of one kid. It is ambitious, daring and a huge investment.
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Wish I Was Here (July 18)
Garden State blew me away when I first watched it. I bought the soundtrack, poster and would have pre-orderd the DVD had I thought about it. The movie becomes a different monster the more you watch it (staged scenes, readily available Portman character). However, it was highly effective when I first watched it. I am excited for Wish You Were Here because of the all the expectations surrounding it (Kickstarter). I know it will be put under the microscope and I think it will hold up. Also, Kate Hudson is capable of so much more than the romantic comedies she has been stuffed into. I hope she can rekindle some Almost Famous luster and pull a McConaissance.
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Calvary (Aug 1)
Brendan Gleeson reuniting with The Guard director John Michael McDonough is probably the greatest thing to ever happen. You need to watch The Guard if you haven’t watched it. I cannot wait for Calvary and I’m stoked to see what Gleeson can do with his priest role.
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Guardians of The Galaxy (Aug 1)
Any film that ends its first trailer with “What a bunch of A-holes” is cool with me. Marvel is gambling again and I love it.
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Lucy (Aug 8)
La Femme Nikita, The Professional, The Fifth Element and now Lucy. Luc Besson has directed some action classics and created several iconic female characters. I’m stoked to watch Scarlett Johansson kick-ass while moving objects with her mind. Lucy will be big, loud and really fun.
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Let’s Be Cops (August 13)
I’d watch Damon Wayans Jr. and Jake Johnson read a phone book. They are hilarious and their chemistry on New Girl is fantastic. Another cool thing about Let’s Be Cops is it is directed by Luke Greenfield who was responsible for the underrated Girl Next Door. Cops will be the comedy sleeper hit of summer and hopefully push these two scene stealers into the upper echelons of comedy.
What films are you looking forward to? Comment. Share. Comment again. Share again.
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Mark’s Favorite Films: (Part 2) An Eclectic Mix of Sharks, Surfing and Beer Mustaches
Here there! Yesterday, I unleashed 11-20 onto the world. Now, it is time for my ten favorite films. They are a motley crew of excellence.
Enjoy!
This may come as a shock to you, but I think your padded ass is silly.
8. Sunshine – Sunshine is the first film I ever watched on Blu-ray. It was an all-encompassing experience that thrilled and excited. It is a stunning accomplished that is totally under appreciated and that is why I champion it so much. Danny Boyle is a maestro of beautiful mayhem and he works wonders with his ensembles, set design, sounds and colors. The ending goes a bit off the rails (It goes full Kurtz, Heart of Lightness-esque) but is excusable because it all looks so incredible.
It is rare occurrence when you get totally lost in cinema. There are always distractions. However, my attention was 100% on the screen and I loved every second of it.
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1. Jaws – I love Jaws. I’ve bought every dang VHS/DVD/Blu-ray and will continue to do so (hello, eventual fiftieth anniversary special edition!). I love the The Jaws Log and have spent too much money on copious amounts of art and memorabilia. Jaws is groundbreaking, character driven and perfect in ways that can never be recreated. The movie captures primal scares and character authenticity in ways that are incredibly rare.
Many people have tried to rip off Jaws and that will never happen. It is proof that simple is not always easy.
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My Jason Statham movie poster theory has been given added credibiliy with Homefront. Here is my theory.
Overcoat posters = 70.25% on Rotten Tomatoes. This total is understandable because three out of the four overcoat films (Snatch, Lock Stock, Bank Job) are really good. It also shows that critics enjoy Statham as an everyday bloke whom speaks more than monosyllabic sentences.
Suit/Cardigan/shirt posters = 40% Rotten Tomatoes score. Crank and Transporter buoyed this score because they were solid films that weren’t wrecked by the Statham suit persona.
The Rotten Tomatoes average for Homefront was 42%. The lack of overcoat doesn’t lie.
The reasons to watch this film are many and that is why I ignored my theory. Stallone wrote the script, Statham wears an odd wig and James Franco plays a boat mechanic/meth cook named Gator Bodine. However, much like Stallone’s Bullett to the Head the film is a massive bore with lots of “f” bombs sprinkled in. It is a murky little thing that plays equal parts shlocky and confounding. Homefront pulled off the impossible by making Jason Statham battling James Franco boring.
Here is the plot. Statham moves to a small town because his cover an as undercover biker was blown. Statham’s kid beats up a bully. Kate Bosworth is annoyed that her bully son was hurt. Statham then beats up her husband. Bosworth gets Gator Bodine into the fray. Then, Gator convinces former meth addict Wynonna Ryder to get a motorcycle gang involved. Frank Grillo shows up and tries to kill Statham. Statham kills everybody and beats the snot out of Gator Bodine.
The biggest problem with the film is the script. It was written ten years ago and was meant to be a starring vehicle for Stallone. However, the Rocky and Rambo sequels hit big and it was put on the back burner until Sly gave the script to Statham. Homefront plays like an 80s film that is missing the extreme violence, muscles and gratuitous nudity of its forebearers. It piles on the melodrama and plays like a diet cola revenge film. Instead of going full bonkers it plays everything painfully straight. The script asks for you to ignore copious coincidences (the coincidences in The Family are much better) and wants you to believe that Franco is a worthy adversary for a guy who beat up 30 people whilst covered in motor oil.
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The people wanted Statham spin kicking James Franco into oblivion and they got something else. Homefront could have been a beautiful oddity that gets by on personality and not logic. However, it is so devoid of life it makes you want to watch something else. The casting was inspired but was let down by a sleepwalking cast and drab direction.
Don’t watch Homefront. Check out Redemption on Netflix. Stath actually tries to emote and the whole thing is odd in a good way. Also, if you haven’t watched Snatch, Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels or Bank Job check them out now.
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