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John’s Horror Corner: Evil Clutch (1988) aka Il Bosco 1, a horrible Italian flick that makes no sense.

March 9, 2017


MY CALL: 
This senselessly stupid not-so-sexy hardly-a-succubus movie makes no sense. Neither the title nor any brief synopses can reveal how random this film is.  MORE MOVIES LIKE Evil ClutchThis film created expectations of sleazy horror but failed to deliver.  So for more effective sleazy low budget horror try Breeders (1986), Evils of Night (1985), The Haunting of Morella (1990), Head of the Family (1996), Hideous! (1997), Bio Slime (2010) and Night of the Tentacles (2013). For similarly obscure horror movies that are bad but still make a notable effort on the effects try Superstition (1982), Ghosthouse (1988), Night Angel (1990) or Def By Temptation (1990).

IMDB says: “The story of a hideous monster who takes the form of a beautiful, seductive woman who in a torrent of special effects, beauty and monster transform into a climax of pure evil. For years this monster woman has cursed a small village, and to this day her deadly grasps holds the peaceful residents in fear. This ferocious, feminine fury possesses a shocking sensual appetite and she can only satisfy her lust when passion consumes her, by striking where a man is most vulnerable…. and the results are deadly!”  Right about NOW is when we should stop trusting IMDB and especially stop trusting misleading movie posters.

Written and directed by Andreas Marfori—not known at all for is not at all classic Ataga sovetskikh zombie—this super low budget 80s Italian horror movie will draw giggles only from those in search of the bad and campy.

Seduced by a strange and sultry woman, a young man is brutally gored by her hairy clawed crotch tentacle.  Yes, you read that right.  A hairy tentacle with a claw at the end, emerging from this succubus’ nether region, killed a man.  The effects are nothing to brag about, but they’re easily good enough to entertain fans of cheap horror and, hey, it tries.

Our sex-hungry murderess (who might be able to fly, not sure because the film is so poorly made) is picked up by a tourist couple (including Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni; Mother of Tears, Opera, Demons 2) who are subsequently warned about her by the weirdest possible man they could find in this tiny village among the Italian countryside.  The creepy local—who might just be the only local they find other than the crotch tentacle lady—unloads an elaborate regional history about summoning monsters.  Clearly our couple has found one.

This senselessly stupid film includes beer turning to sand, random zombie things, strange cauldrons of infectious goo, and the weirdest cuckoo clock ever.  Apparently, the demoness is trying to afflict the couple with something.  But it’s hard to understand what’s even supposed to be going on as our couple hikes into the Alps with this weird stranger.

Other than the crotch claw, the effects and events of the 50 minutes are all rather dull. In the last 30 minutes things pick up and we are bombarded by diverse weirdness.  There is more crotch tentacle, weird monstrous (maybe tree root) tentacles, clothes-on zombie love, an unseen POV Evil Dead force rushing through the forest, crusty zombie attacks, bloody dismemberment and some weak demonic transformation.  Yes, this may sound good…but it’s bad. Very, very bad. And you’ll probably only enjoy this if a bad horror movie is exactly what you were hoping to find.

The title seems quite misleading.  Our demoness implies sexuality and seduction, but never seems to consummate anything. So, I’d struggle to understand how an “evil clutch” would ever come to be…nor was any infernal offspring of hers even implied.

In summary, this movie is horrible.  It’s horrible, but it’s enjoyably horrible if you are in the mood for horrible and horrible draws laughter from you.  Whole lot of horrible, but I’ve admittedly watched, reviewed and even enjoyed far, far worse.

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