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John’s Horror Corner: Charlie’s Farm (2014), a brutal and basic Australian horror featuring the monstrous Nathan Jones in a Leatherface-ian role.

May 24, 2018

MY CALL:  Basically, this is a low budget Australian Leatherface film starring a giant actor who does justice to the monster he’s playing.  MORE MOVIES LIKE Charlie’s FarmThis movie most closely seems to follow the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974-2017), Wrong Turn (2003-2014), Hills Have Eyes (1977-2007) and Rob Zombie franchises (e.g., Halloween I-II, House of 1000 Corpses). For more Australian horror, try Razorback (1984), Wolf Creek (2005), The Howling III: Marsupials (1987), Dark Age (1987), Rogue (2007), Black Water (2007), Boar (2018; also featuring Nathan Jones, by the way) and Wyrmwood (2014).

When you hear the tagline, you can’t help but to think these people (i.e., the cast of victims) had it coming… Two couples (including Tara Reid; Urban Legend, A Return to Salem’s Lot, Sharknado 1-6) venture Australia’s outback to intentionally visit “Charlie’s Farm,” a place with a horribly violent history. Now why would you go and do that?

Naturally, our vacationing explorers ignore the stereotypical harbinger and proceed to their ill-fated destination despite the fact that the two girls in the group find his creepy warnings more than a tad compelling.

Yup. This shot does look familiar. It basically mashes up the victims’ approach to the cabin in The Evil Dead I-II/remake (1981, 1987, 2013) with the house in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Written and directed by Chris Sun (Boar), this Aussie Texas Chainsaw-ish movie is as troped as it is gory. It opens hard and brutal, then slowly drags for an hour of insufferably weak dialogue and exposition before releasing the Australian Kraken for the final (and thankfully exciting) third act. It’s not unlike Hatchet II (2010) and Victor Crowley (2017), in terms of pacing.

Flashbacks illustrate Charlie (Nathan Jones; Boar, Mad Max: Fury Road) as a child, his messed-up father John (Bill Mosely, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, House of 1000 Corpses, House), and the environment that reared his monstrous psychopathy. Such a childhood would easily yield a Leatherface or Victor Crowley, without a doubt.

As Charlie Nathan Jones is immense, working in the film’s favor. And, although the intensity of his presence has a short shelf life on screen, the head crushing, penis-slicing and force-feeding, lower jaw-ripping, and some nudity keep things rather lively.

At some point a concerned parent (of these twenty or thirty-somethings) heads out to look for them. It’s a nice role for Kane Hodder (Smothered, Death House Hatchet 1-4, Friday the 13th parts VII-X), and the Hodder-Jones fight more than a little satisfying even if the action lacked “splendid” choreography.

The movie strangely ends right on a kill. I guess they couldn’t be troubled to try and wrap it up. Or perhaps that was just another simple chapter in Charlie’s tourist-slaughtering Summer. But overall this was dumb gory fun, it was cool seeing Nathan Jones using his immense size to play a monster, and I enjoyed it for what it was. After all, I wasn’t exactly expecting much.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. May 24, 2018 7:55 pm

    I laughed during this movie thinking that Charlie resembled the old Bridekeeper from Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

    “What is your name?”
    “Sir Robin of Camelo”
    “What is your quest?”
    “To seek the holy grail”
    “What, is the capital of Assyria?”
    “I don’t know that! AHHHHHHHH!!!”

    • John Leavengood permalink
      May 24, 2018 8:55 pm

      Sure…
      But Charlie was 18″ taller, 250 lbs heavier… and had a fraction the knowledge… and probably none of the Harry Potter training.

      • May 24, 2018 9:13 pm

        Lol Charlie didn’t know the flight speed of a North African swallow

    • John Leavengood permalink
      May 25, 2018 8:46 am

      Charlie doesn’t know much at all. LOL
      I’m not sure he knows his address.

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