John’s Horror Corner: Blood Vessel (2019), an Australian horror movie about monstrous vampires on a Nazi warship.
MY CALL: The best part of this movie was the poster. Lame acting, lame writing, vampires that talk too much and do too little… but at least the gore and creature effects were good. Overall, this movie is a hard pass. It’s not necessarily terrible, but there’s just too much else out there for you to watch.
Floating on a life raft after their hospital ship was sunk by the Germans, our survivors drift into the path of a Nazi warship… and it’s their only hope for survival.
The opening of this movie is not promising. The CGI has the feel of a stale ScyFy movie-of-the-week and the writing is notably bad. A weak action scene is cobbled together as the survivors simply get on the boat, one of them dies in the ship’s propellers (terribly lame death), and I couldn’t have been more bored than when I suffered through the same scene in Death Ship (1980). Their exploration of the ship is likewise a dragging bore dressed up with way too much needlessly empty dialogue.
But thank the Gods, when they stumble across the first dead body of the ship, the efforts in the gore department are promising. The dead bodies all look very differently mangled, very horrific, and very well done. Further exploration reveals chain-bound sarcophagi with stone etchings of skulls and bones. Of course, expecting gold or some other treasures, they break they chains and open them up to find monsters.
The monstrous bat-hybrid vampires look decent considering the obviously lower budget. However, the more I see them the less I like them. In fact, they quickly go from menacing to lackluster, talking a lot of classic Dracula Old World game they can’t back up. And that’s just it, they talk a lot and do little. These vampires would have been better (given their appearance; think The Descent) if treated as monstrous, animalistic creatures rather than articulate and calculating (and needlessly verbose).
Writer (in part) and director Justin Dix (Crawlspace) must be a major Aliens (1986) fan, because we find several callbacks to the classic. Boarding a seemingly abandoned ship, the discovery of a thick gooey slime on the pipes of a ship maintenance corridor and a lone survivor girl scampering around the nooks and crannies of the ship spying on our survivors (plus other Newt parallels) both strongly echo the 1986 classic. Alas, this World War II “Newt” goes from interesting to yet another writing throwaway the more we watch. It seems there were a lot of good ideas that inspired the screenplay, but then no one knew what to do with those ideas.
Not just their characters, but the actors themselves were casualties of the often dreadful dialogue. Still, there are some familiar faces among them: e.g., Christopher Kirby (Iron Sky, Predestination, Upgrade), Robert Taylor (Rogue, The Meg, Kong: Skull Island) and Nathan Phillips (Wolf Creek, Chernobyl Diaries).
Lame acting, lame writing, lame vampires… but at least the gore was okay. Overall, this movie is a hard pass. It’s not necessarily terrible, but there’s just too much else out there for you to watch.
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John’s Horror Corner: Relic (2020), a geriatric horror about senescence, family duty and human frailty.
MY CALL: This is a thoughtful slow burn with a lot going on. The themes explore hallucinatory madness, real world dementia, and toe the line of the supernatural—with much left to our interpretation. The most powerful element of this film is how grounded it remains in our fragile humanity; our denial and aversion, coupled with our acceptance and compassion. MORE MOVIES LIKE Relic: For more geriatric and senescence horror, try The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014), Bubba Ho-tep (2002), Late Phases (2014) or The Visit (2015).
For additional Australian horror movies, try Razorback (1984), The Howling III: Marsupials (1987), Dark Age (1987), Wolf Creek (2005), Rogue (2007), Black Water (2007), Lake Mungo (2008), Wyrmwood (2014), Charlie’s Farm (2014), Cargo (2017) and Boar (2017; podcast discussion).
We all hope for a long and healthy life. But there remains a terrifying prospect linked to longevity: that our minds may degenerate prematurely to our bodies and that our “self” will be lost in the cruel fog of dementia.
Such is the case when Kay (Emily Mortimer; Shutter Island, Scream 3, The Ghost and the Darkness) and her daughter Sam (Bella Heathcote; The Neon Demon, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies) come to the aid of their aging and missing matriarch Edna (Robyn Nevin; The Matrix Reloaded).When Edna eventually reappears in the house, she seems fine but has no account for the days she had been missing. Edna’s waning grip on reality is evident as she very clearly forgets things and believes she is being shadowed by something; something else in the house.
The emotional beats don’t land with the intensity or gut-punching precision of Hereditary (2018), but it still makes its point effectively. There’s no denying the family hardship faced by these three generations of women. The strain is uncomfortable to watch, and we find much sympathy for Edna as her sense of awareness gradually crumbles. Her mind shares the state of disrepair with her home, and she clearly needs help.
As if decaying along with Edna’s mind, black mold slowly spreads about the house. Intriguingly, the images of black mold are quite off-putting (there’s just something about its appearance), much as the mentally off-putting reaction to senescence. Brief visions of the elderly coupled with extreme bodily decay may prove very disturbing.
Things don’t really move as quickly as I’d like, but I certainly remained very intrigued and weirded out until the pace did finally pick up in the third act. The last 20-30 minutes attain some satisfying oddities in visuals, effects and atmosphere. Things even get trippy, and we wander into some unexpectedly interesting special effects in terms of startling injuries, self-mutilation and fleshy latex. But despite some disturbing and horrific scenes, it all comes to a curious, ambiguous, yet still even tender ending.
Written (in part) and directed by Natalie Erika James, this is a tremendous success for her first feature film. This is a bit of a thoughtful slow burn, but there is a lot going on here—much more than I had expected. The themes explore hallucinatory madness, real world dementia, and toe the line of the supernatural—a lot is left to our interpretation. But the most powerful element of this film is how grounded it remains in our fragile humanity; our denial and aversion, coupled with our acceptance and compassion.
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John’s Horror Corner: Lake of Death (2019; aka De dødes tjern), one of the only Scandinavian horror movies I would NOT recommend.
MY CALL: I have not seen the 1958 classic horror film Lake of the Dead, but it must be better than this drivel (inspired by the original). This film begins by lulling you into a false sense of comfort with promising acting, writing, concepts and cinematography. But, oh, just you wait… it will bore you to death and beat you into regret. MORE MOVIES LIKE Lake of Death: For more (and far superior) Norwegian and Scandinavian horror, try Midsommar (2019), The Ritual (2017), Troll Hunter (2010) Thale (2012), Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010), Let the Right One In (2008) and Dead Snow (2009).
REMAKE/REIMAGINING SIDEBAR: For more horror remakes, I strongly favor the following: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978), An American Werewolf in London (1981), The Thing (1982), The Fly (1986), The Mummy (1999), The Ring (2002), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), The Hills Have Eyes (2006), Friday the 13th (2009), Let Me In (2010), Evil Dead (2013), Carrie (2013), The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014), It (2017), Suspiria (2018) and Child’s Play (2019).
Those to avoid include Body Snatchers (1993; the second remake), War of the Worlds (2005), The Invasion (2007; the third remake), Prom Night (2008), Sorority Row (2009), Night of the Demons (2009), Patrick: Evil Awakens (2013), Poltergeist (2015), Martyrs (2015), Cabin Fever (2016), Unhinged (2017) and The Mummy (2017).I’m on the fence about An American Werewolf in Paris (1997), The Grudge (2004), Halloween (2007), It’s Alive (2009), My Bloody Valentine (2009), A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), Fright Night (2011), The Thing (2011; a prequel/remake), Maniac (2012), Viy: Forbidden Empire (2014), Inside (2016), Rabid (2019) and Pet Sematary (2019), which range from bad to so-so (as remakes) but still are entertaining movies on their own.
To toy with the audience, this film begins with a basic notion: that we may cast reflections that are actually different versions of ourselves…
Ready for a carefree getaway, Gabriel (Jonathan Harboe), Bernhard (Jakob Schøyen Andersen), Sonja (Sophia Lie) and Harald (Elias Munk), Lillian (Iben Akerlie; Mortal) and Kai (Ulric von der Esch) are heading to a cabin for the weekend.
Lillian’s twin brother Bjorn (Patrick Walshe McBride; Dracula) disappeared during a solitary hike at this family lake house. Now returning for one final visit to this property before selling it, Lillian finds the very sight of the home jarring, haunting her with memories of her vanished twin. Lillian’s dog Totto (like Dorothy’s Toto) noticeably shares her fear of the house.
Like people in the real world, they joke about horror tropes and reference specific movies (e.g., Misery, NOES, Evil Dead, Cabin Fever). It’s kind of refreshing actually. Despite being a foreign language film this “feels” well-acted, the cinematography is lovely, and the writing is quite smooth. This feels like a proper film and not some horror flick.
We learn that the lake has something of a haunted folklore behind it—wood nymphs, water spirits, lunatic killers. At first the horror manifests largely as visions, dreams and hallucinations… even a mysteriously prepared breakfast. When strange things transpire, the group points the finger at Lillian’s sleepwalking problem or the podcaster (Bernhard) who is investigating the haunted lake for his show.
Honestly, as well made as this film is overall, the scares are weak. Really weak, and really disappointing. Overuse of black liquid (maybe blood?) in visions are intended as frightening but start to feel like a low budget drama club ploy. To be honest, the first act was promising and engaging, but act two has proven very boring. Well, let’s just see what the final act offers… maybe it could turn things around, right?
Nope. The third act was hot garbage. I completely hated the last 30 minutes. I realize that’s a strong word, but this film has earned it. This dumpster fire is dumb, unexciting even with special effects, lacks even one good death scene, and offers stupid plot resolution regarding the long-vanished brother. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Anything about this film that was once promising was undone, squandered, covered in crap and lit on fire by the wretched ending.
The trailer had me expecting Cabin Fever (2002, 2016) meets Evil Dead (1981, 2013). But what I got was… well, just plain bad and nothing of the sort (i.e., nothing at all as advertised). This was a complete uneventful bore. I can’t believe this crap was a remake. I feel badly for everyone involved.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast 293: Desert Islands, Movie Characters and Homemade Catapults
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It’s time for another MFF random draft! Mark and Sean (listen to the Fincher/Comedy Football Draft episode) pick movie characters whom they think could easily survive on a desert island. They also answer very important questions that have never been asked. How would Michael Myers deal with a desert island? Would Hal 9000 be bored? In this episode, they discuss coconut water, catapults and island pizza delivery. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean,or Spreaker.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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John’s Horror Corner: Vivarium (2019), a quirky couples’ therapy thriller entrapped in suburban purgatory.
MY CALL: Very much like a great episode of Black Mirror (2011-2019), this is a somewhat slow draw of a somewhat uncomplicated mind bender. Not a mind bender in the sense that the threads are pithy and rich (as in Identity), but more like The Voices (2014) in that you follow what’s going on… you just have no clue where this batshit crazy movie is heading. MORE MOVIES LIKE Vivarium: For more couples’ therapy horror, try Possession (1981), Thirst (2009), Antichrist (2009), Spring (2014) or Honeymoon (2014). But this weird film most reminded me of the weird domestic Sci-Horror purgatory of Await Further Instructions (2018).
A youthfully uppety and personable couple, Gemma (Imogen Poots; Green Room, Fright Night) and Tom (Jesse Eisenberg; Cursed, Zombieland) are house-hunting so they can take the next step in their relationship. They find themselves paired with a strangely idiosyncratic realtor who shows them what he proclaims to be a forever home. This realtor (Jonathan Aris) is so delightfully alien in his behavior, as if he was emulating a friendly human but didn’t spend enough time studying human behavior or facial expressions. Gemma and Tom are struck incredulous by his weird charm.
During the showing, their realtor disappears and Gemma and Tom find it somehow impossible to escape this housing community of identical, uninhabited homes in the suburbs. They try and try to find their way out until they run out of gas (literally). Eerily they find themselves… trapped.
No matter what logical method they adopt, they cannot get away from this house. Like an episode of Black Mirror (2011-2019), none of their attempts reveal the mystery of their lonely suburban prison. Yet stranger, parcels are mysteriously delivered containing food and a baby boy with a note that reads “raise this child and be released.” Naturally, begrudgingly rearing this child comes with some resentment. Things grow yet weirder, and our couple’s grip on reality weakens as their surreal nightmare continues and their efforts to escape this purgatory prove fruitless.
Their desperation and realizations of futility transmute to mania. But their mania remains somewhat controlled and rational, as they never fully accept their dream-like prison of a life. As strange as this is, it remains grounded and never quite finds complete lunacy. But it comes close… and we awkwardly giggle at what has become their life.
This film is incredibly interesting and incredibly uneventful, but the story does proceed. You feel the mounting stress of Gemma and Tom, you want to know what’s causing all this and you want to know how to stop it. Writer (in part) and director Lorcan Finnegan (Without Name) seems quite comfortable making us wait, and good at cultivating the viewers’ weirded out brainstorming as to what in the world is going on here.
As much as I like this film, I’d be careful recommending it. It’s quite quirky, the pace is far from swift, and it lacks closure in a way that may irritate some viewers. Not this quirky viewer, though. I dug it.
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Deep Blue Sea – The Podcast – Chapter 4: Scogginnomics, Gliding Monsters and Boat Dancing
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Chapter 4! This week we’re covering “Pretty Scary Stuff (I Can See Clearly Now), the fourth chapter on the Deep Blue Sea DVD. In honor of this most excellent chapter, we brought in Doug Jamieson (of The Jam Report), a fantastic movie critic and lover of Deep Blue Sea (read his reviews and follow him on Twitter), to help us breakdown this chapter. In this episode, we discuss scogginomics, tensile strength and boat dancing. Enjoy!
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Deep Blue Sea turns 21 today, and in honor of its birthday, here are 21 reasons why it’s the The Shawshank Redemption of genetically modified shark movies (it’s a prison escape film disguised as a slasher shark thriller).
If you love Deep Blue Sea, make sure to listen to Deep Blue Sea – The Podcast. You will love it.
1. The initial attack on the catamaran is a scouting mission.
The Generation 1 shark (nicknamed Steve McQueen by the folks of Deep Blue Sea – The Podcast – fun show) jumped over the Aquatica fence (Mako sharks can jump up to nine meters) and wanted to see how long it would take for the Aquatica crew to chase it down. Notice how it immediately goes limp when Carter Blake shoots it with the tranquilizers.. It’s at this moment that the sharks realize they need to bring Aquatica down because they are obviously being tracked, and if they escape again, they’ll just be tracked again. Also, I’d love to see how Carter dragged it back to its watery jail
2. Picking Mako Sharks was smart
They have the largest brain to body ratio and are the fastest sharks in the ocean (watch the movie you’ll understand), and it makes sense that they would be engineered at the Aquatica, which is located off the coast of Mexico, because they don’t do well in captivity. They would need an ocean prison. It’s just another example of why Deep Blue Sea is better than you might think (or you love it immensely, and are just looking for an echo chamber of DBS love).
3. The Blu-ray commentary by Renny Harlin and Samuel L. Jackson is excellent
Harlin and Samuel L. Jackson share some excellent stories in the commentary. You’ll learn a lot about the making of the film. For instance, the Production Designers Joseph Bennett and William Sandell installed linoleum floors in the Aquatica, this is why everyone is slipping around. Also, Jackson makes some funny jokes about Michael Rappaport.
4. There’s a story about a Tiger shark stealing a truck and driving it to Baja
After Carter Blake pulls the license plate out of a Tiger’s shark’s mouth. He and Susan McAlester (Saffron Burrows) have a discussion about a tiger shark stealing a car in Louisiana and driving it to Baja Mexico. I’d love to see a shark make an 1,818 mile trek in a stolen truck. I know it’s a joke, but I love the visual, and it reminds me of the Michael Myers road trip data piece I wrote.
5. Walt Conti’s animatronic sharks are beautiful
The animatronic sharks are beautiful in Deep Blue Sea. Walt Conti (Anaconda, Free Willy) crushed it, and it’s neat that he used aerospace technology to create the sharks. The sharks are featured in the film a lot, and if you look closely you’ll notice that they are constantly swimming around in the background. How cool would it be to be the person on set with the remote control that steered the massive sharks around? You’d never want to leave. Here’s a neat documentary that will show you how they were made.
6. Janice Higgins is an absolute boss at dropping expository dialogue
Janice Higgins (Jacqueline McKenzie) is an expository dialogue machine. She crushes the insane amount of dialogue she has to dump on Russell Franklin (Samuel L. Jackson). The expository dialogue comes across naturally, and it never feels overly obvious. It’s smart that she’s giving Russell Franklin a tour, because he and the viewer are new to the world. It’s filmmaking 101 (a new person is introduced, to make the world easier to explain), but she does a solid job making the dialogue feel fresh.
7. The Aquatica layout makes sense and is perfectly described to us
Deep Blue Sea goes out of its way to describe the layout of the Aquatica. Whether it’s the overhead shots, or Janice Higgins describing everything. There are maps everywhere, and it helps during the chaos. If you pay attention, and follow the characters journey, you know exactly where they are. I’ve written in-depth MFF posts about the layout of the aquatica, read them!
8. Throw away moments are very important. For instance, there’s a moment when Dr. Susan McAlester, senses that a shark is watching her in her room. It will be very important later on.
The sharks sees where her research is when she takes it out of her locker, and that’s why it’s waiting for her later on, so he can surprise her and destroy the data, so no sharks will ever be “Frankensteined” again. Seriously, why else would it not attack her immediately? The shark attacks when she takes the hard drive from the locker. It knew she would come back for it. It’s a tinfoil theory, but it makes sense to me
9. There’s a surprising amount of dancing
The teenagers dance in the boat, Janet dances in the tower, the departing crew dance on the boat, and the Aquatica crew dance during the party. This doesn’t make the movie great, it’s just an odd observation.
10. Carter Blake is very good at three things. Shooting, Swimming and Grabbing
- He proves his shooting prowess in the beginning when he harpoons the shark.
- He’s totally cool swimming with sharks
- He grabs onto license plates, shark fins and anything else he can grab when he is slipping and sliding. Also, at the end, he grabs onto the fence to avoid blowing up. He then swims back to Preacher.
11. Renny Harlin wanted to feature the sharks A LOT. Dude had no problem showing lots of sharks. Alejandra Aja did the same thing in Crawl. Two watery classics.
Harlin knew modern audiences wanted to see more sharks, so he made sure audiences got what they wanted. The sharks are a constant presence, and there are copious set pieces that revolve around their attacks. They are the driving force of the movie, and it’s refreshing.
12. Preacher and his bird are the best. Shea Serrano agrees
In the footnotes of Movies (And Other Things), Shea Serrano mentions that he almost wrote a chapter about badasses with birds. It makes me happy. Preacher (LL Cool J) is going to have a great story to tell. He was the chef at a research facility that has been illegally genetically modifying sharks and the sharks tried to escape. He survives multiple attacks and he blows up two of them. He’s going to have some serious scars, and I wonder if he’ll get some money from Chimera.
13. During the final fight, When the shark is trying to shred the fence, its eyes are closed
When sharks attack, they typically close their eyes, It’s a nice touch. Renny Harlin’s Commentary covers everything. There is also a fun discussion about the final fight here.
14. Chimera Pharmaceuticals is an excellent name for the fictional pharmaceutical company in Deep Blue Sea
Russell Franklin owns Chimera pharmaceuticals, the company that funds McAlester’s devious studies. In Greek mythology, it’s a fire-breathing female monster with a lion’s head, a goat’s body, and a serpent’s tail. – The sharks are genetically modified, and they’ll never really be comfortable anywhere because they are a hybrid.
15. The twitching leg
The death of Tom Scoggins is ultra gnarly. The shark rips him in half, and his legs are left twitching in the water. It’s awesome.
16. There is a neat Herman Melville reference.
When Janice is showing Franklin the sharks, she says “beneath this glassy surface, a world of gliding monsters.” It’s a wonderful quote. It’s very reminiscent of the Herman Melville quote, “Beneath those stars, is a universe of gliding monsters.” Also, read Bartleby the Scrivener. It’s one of my favorite short stories.
17. Preacher stabs a shark in the eye with a crucifix
A character named Preacher stabs a shark with a crucifix. It’s amazing. Also, check this out.
In 1999
- Deep Blue Sea – LL Cool J plays a character named Preacher
- In Too Deep – He plays a character named God
- Any Given Sunday – He plays on the Sharks, and they play mostly on Sundays.
- In 1998, He acted in Halloween H20…..
18. The Explosion at the end is insane. An improvised explosive creates an explosion big enough to OBLITERATE the giant shark
It’s a comically large explosion, and it completely obliterates the shark. Watch the clip. The explosion is huge.
19. The moment when the Gen 2 flashes it’s huge teeth is a thing of beauty. Let’s focus on the solid CGI for a while
Too much focus has been placed on the subpar 1999 CGI. Let’s celebrate a badass moment. Start the clip at the :40 second mark
20. Jim Whitlock drops a sweet quote
Hearing Stellan Skargard say “Sharks are the oldest creatures on the planet……from a time when the world was just flesh and teeth,” never gets old. It’s a great line during the party scene.
21. People much smarter than me have written about its greatness
Brian Raftery (who wrote Best. Movie. Year. Ever. How 1999 Blew Up the Big Screen) wrote an article for Wired about why it’s the best shark movie ever. It’s a solid read.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast #292: Back to the Future, Buttheads and the Power of Love
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
The MFF podcast is back, and this week we’re talking about the 1985 classic Back to the Future. We’re starting a time travel podcast series, and it felt right to start with Back to the Future. It’s hard not to love the Robert Zemeckis directed film, because it’s an almost perfect examination of what happens when a kid in high school travels from 1985 to 1955, and then tries to go back to the future. In this episode, we discuss movie jerks, skateboarding, and the power of love. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean,or Spreaker.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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MY CALL: I was really unimpressed with this. That said, it also wasn’t a regrettable viewing. There were so decent gore gags to be enjoyed. I’d just rank this very low among “worth a watch” 80s slashers since there are simply so many better ones. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Mutilator: Looking for more (and hopefully much better) early 80s slashers? I’d recommend Maniac (1980), Happy Birthday to Me (1981), The Prowler (1981), The Burning (1981) and Pieces (1982).
After a young boy accidentally kills his mother while playing with his father’s guns (I guess there’s a message here), the boy’s understandably upset father drags his dead wife into the den, pours himself some birthday whiskey, and becomes a disturbed alcoholic for the next ten years. Now in college, that boy has grown up and he has to clean up his father’s beach condo. So he invites his classmates to join him for the long weekend.
This movie makes no effort to keep secrets from its viewers. We know his father is the killer as soon as they arrive to the beach house. He skulks around with minimally convincing menace and has stashed weapons in the garage storage room where he hides out like the Black Christmas (1974) killer in the attic.
As was the style at the time (i.e., the early 80s slasher era), all of the kills needed to be very different. The death scenes start out weak, but build some inertia with every additional kill (not that they ever develop into anything impressive). The pool scene is stupid, with as boring a death scene (if you even call it that) as one could imagine. At least it’s quickly followed by a gory chainsaw death scene (even if we never see chainsaw meet flesh, the blood and wounds looked good). Next is a fence post stabbed to the face followed by a nice gory decapitation. Most memorable for me, however, was the fisherman’s gaff brutally hooked up a woman’s you-know-what as she watched!!! Knowing it was the father the whole time didn’t help the lame ending. But at least that final death had a sloppy gory de-torso-capitation.
I was worried this would be complete dribble. I guess, after a dreadfully slow and boring start, this was actually pleasantly surprising even if still not very good or easily recommendable. There are just too many better slashers from the early 80s one should watch before getting around to this for the sake of completeness (as was the case for me). Still, I didn’t exactly regret it. After all, there were some decent gory gags to be enjoyed.
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MY CALL: I was quite pleased with this movie. It strikes a good balance between funny, gory and mean, and the pacing is steady to keep you entertained throughout while cultivating awkward laughs. MORE MOVIES LIKE Yummy: For more recently made quality zombedies, aim for Cooties (2015), Zombeavers (2014), REC 3: Genesis (2012), Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015), Cabin Fever 2 (2009), Dead Snow (2009), Zombieland (2009) and, of course, Shaun of the Dead (2004).
Unhappy with her excessively ample chest, Alison (Maaike Neuville) is traveling to a shady Eastern European hospital specializing in discount plastic surgery for her breast reduction. Joining her is her supportive boyfriend Michael (Bart Hollanders) and her disapproving mother Sylvia (Annick Christiaens), who wants yet another facelift.
We are introduced to this film’s gross sense of humor when a not-quite-roadkilled animal, with its innards exposed as it still squeaks, is run over (again) splattering across a man’s clothes and face. Between that and Sylvia’s incessant advice that Alison keep and treasure the “gifts” she was given duly inform the tone of the film.
While Alison is getting her pre-surgery consultation and prep, Michael wanders an apparently unused wing of the hospital and encounters a naked patient bound to a hospital bed with a sort of muzzle over her mouth. When he frees the restrained patient, I’m reminded of the ending of Deadgirl (2008) signaling the zombie pandemonium to begin swiftly thereafter.
A cautionary tale for the use of stem cell treatments, our Eastern European doctors at this facility are using aborted fetuses to fuel stem cell research in rejuvenation. But, like what happened with Resident Evil’s (2002) or Rabid’s (2019) research, it ran afoul of flesh-eating monsters. Have movies like The Rejuvenator (1988) and Re-Animator (1985) taught us nothing?
Quite gory with graphic fleshy bites, awesome guts work and squishy head trauma, this movie is a gore-slathered delight. We also enjoy a zombie eating its own intestines and leaking its own consumed ooze, a head gets crushed into chunky chunder chum, a man’s “you know what” gets lit on fire in a rather gross scene, a giant salamander fetus is zombified, and there’s a lot of projectile vomit.
Salamander SIDEBAR: You may be wondering why it is that there was a salamander in one of the labs. This may seem random to most viewers. But it’s actually a nice touch. Salamanders are the subject of much research in regeneration and evolutionary biology for their ability to regenerate surgically removed spinal vertebrae (among limbs and other things). This is no joke or exaggeration. In grad school, I took a class under a professor conducting such research and likewise had another EvoDevo salamander researcher on my graduate committee. So really, this zombie salamander was a surprisingly insightful touch.
This movie does a good job cultivating awkward laughs. For example, when a recent amputee about to fall to his death reaches with his now-missing arm for help, or when a man’s not-yet-healed penile enhancement is painfully prompted for intercourse.
For his first feature film, writer and director Lars Damoiseaux certainly succeeded at making me smile, wince, grimace and giggle at this gross zombedy. The movie packs a lot of gross effects, a consistent energy and pacing, and a mean ending.
Movies, Films & Flix 