MFF Special: Dolph Lundgren is Really Good in Universal Soldier
By 1991, Dolph Lundgren was already a worldwide action movie star with movies like Rocky IV, Masters of the Universe, Red Scorpion, The Punisher and Showdown in Little Tokyo (watch this clip now) under his black belt. The problem was, none of these films let him string together more than several lines at a time (he only had nine lines in Rocky IV). His thick Swedish accent, scared off many writers from giving him showstopping monologues, and his roles largely relied on his large frame and ability to punch or front-kick stuntmen into oblivion.
That’s where Universal Soldier writers Richard Rothstein, Christopher Leitch and Dean Devlin come into play. They weren’t afraid to give the brilliant Swede a monologue in their bonkers action film, and in 1992, the Fulbright scholar, who had a Master’s Degree in Chemical Engineering from the University of Sydney, proved to the world that he could break any dialogue given to him. Here’s a transcript of the monologue from The Roland Emmerich directed (Independence Day, Midway) Universal Soldier.
“God damn it the whole fucking platoon’s dropping like flies! What the hell are you staring it? Do you have any idea what it’s like out there? Do you? Well I’m fighting this thing man, it’s like kick ass, or kiss ass, and I’m busting heads! It’s the only way to win this fucking war. And these shitheads, these yellow traitoring motherfuckers. They’re everywhere. And I, Sergeant Andrew Scott of the US Army, I’m gonna teach ’em all.”
Right now, you are probably thinking “huh?” and did he really say “yellow tratoring motherfuckers?” Well, considering the movie is about two soldiers who killed each other in Vietnam, and resume their battle in 1992, after they’ve been Frankensteined into super-soldiers, the dialogue makes sense. Dolph’s character, Andrew Scott, suffered a mental break in 1969, went on a homicidal rampage, and was killed by Jean-Claude van Damme’s character Luc Deveraux (who also died in the fight). Years later, after being turned into Unisols (universal soldiers), the two go on a rampage and try to kill each other again. During one of their skirmishes, several of the red-shirt Unisols are injured and Scott drags them into a supermarket freezer to heal (ice or freezing temperatures heal their wounds). While in the supermarket, he unleashes the unexpected speech that you read above, and we’re fairly certain it confused/enthralled everyone in the audience who had never heard him string that many sentences together.
Take a look at his expression when he leans in towards the man with the cowboy hat. The quick look to the side and raised eyebrows are inspired and more than anyone expected.
After he says “They’re everywhere” Dolph’s body language is excellent as he slowly turns, and skulks away with hunched shoulders. It’s the body language of a Frankensteined-super soldier who still thinks he’s in Vietnam and is monologuing to a captive audience inside a rural supermarket.
Soon after, several unlucky officers run into the store and are killed by Scott. This is how he caps off the murder spree.
You can tell Dolph loved this moment and he did he best to create a nuanced and well-acted moment in a bonkers action film. Compared to JCVD’s work, Dolph deserves an Oscar.
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John’s Horror Corner: The Grudge 2 (2006), a worthy sequel offering fresh storytelling and more honed tactics.
MY CALL: I’m just gonna’ come out and say it… I think this sequel was better than The Grudge (2004). The tactics and storytelling felt more honed; like comparing Evil Dead 2 (1987) to Evil Dead (1981). Its greatest victory is how the storytelling style deviates from part 1. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Grudge: Well, The Grudge (2004), Ju-on: The Grudge (2002) and Ju-on: The Grudge 2 (2003) would be the best place to start; followed by The Ring (2002) and Ringu (1998), then Ju-on (2000) and Ju-on 2 (2000). There is also the second remake of The Grudge (2020).
“When someone dies in the grip of a powerful rage a curse is born. The curse gathers in that place of death. Those who encounter it will be consumed by its fury.”
Picking up right where The Grudge (2004) ended, director Takashi Shimizu (Ju-on 1-2, The Grudge 1-2, Flight 7500) continues his Grudge saga with three linked stories about those unlucky enough to befall Kayako’s path. And like other direct sequels (e.g., A Nightmare on Elm Street parts 3-5, Friday the 13th parts IV-VI, Halloween I-II, Saw IV-VI), it is best watched shortly after seeing its predecessor to keep plotlines fresh.
International high schooler students Allison (Arielle Kebbel; The Uninvited), Vanessa (Teresa Palmer; Lights Out, Warm Bodies, Wolf Creek) and Miyuki visit what’s left of The Grudge (2004) house, which is clearly still haunted by the angry spirit Kayako (Ju-on 1-2, Ju-on: The Grudge 1-2, The Grudge 1-2). When a prank (against one of the girls) goes awry, the evil follows the girls after they leave the cursed house.
Across the globe in California, Aubrey (Amber Tamblyn; The Ring) travels to Tokyo to find her sister Karen (Sarah Michelle Gellar; Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Scream 2, The Grudge)—hospitalized since the events of The Grudge (2004). She, too, finds herself haunted beyond the limits of the cursed house, as if she took a piece of the curse with her or, perhaps, was infected by its evil.
And in Chicago, Trish (Jennifer Beals; The Book of Eli, The Prophecy II, The Bride) moves in with her boyfriend and his kids. At about the same time, their neighbors move someone mysterious in as well.
Like its 2004 predecessor, some scenes are more effective than others. Some of the same ploys are replayed to little effect—like the “look who’s under the covers” bed gag. Likewise, the CGI of the telephone booth scene, Kayako randomly appearing in the background, and the meowing ghost child have also lost their appeal. The shots limited to Kayako’s face emerging from shadows remain very creepy, but her full body shots lack menace… unless she’s shambling down a hallway in flickering lights. I quite liked that hallway scene pursuing Sarah Michelle Gellar—which may have influenced a similar scene in Lights Out (2016).The “dark room scene” callback to The Ring (2002) was entertaining and quite creepy even if not so scary. But in terms of scariness, Kayako is no Samara (The Ring). I remain most intrigued by the milk regurgitation (and re-drinking) scene. What was that!?!
This sequel’s greatest victory is how the storytelling style (i.e., the use of several interwoven stories) deviates from the past-to-present yo-yoing narrative of the first. Sure, we’re basically just getting more of the same with new victims, but it feels different in a most welcome way. Not only that, but this sequel builds on the folklore of Kayako’s supernatural origins with Japanese occult practices, and even plays into the same theme as Freddy’s Revenge (1985) and The Ring 2 (2005). We also finally learn the origin of the croaking noise Kayako makes, and it actually makes perfect sense! I just found it annoying in part 1—but now I’ll always enjoy it more.
I’m just gonna’ come out and say it. I think this sequel was better than The Grudge (2004). The tactics and storytelling felt more honed; like comparing Evil Dead 2 (1987) to Evil Dead (1981).
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast #248: Piranha 3D, Jet Ski Action Scenes, and Adam “Action Hero” Scott
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker. (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere)
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
The MFF podcast is back, and we’re continuing on with our “Soggy Saga” podcast series with Piranha 3D (listen to our Deep Blue Sea, Lake Placid and Anaconda eps) The Alejandre Aja (Crawl, The Hills Have Eyes) directed Piranha 3D is a gnarly film that is loaded with excessive gore, buckets of blood and scantily clad coeds being turned in gross blobs of blood. In this episode, we discuss jet ski action scenes, the logistics of shooting films on-location, and Adam “The Action Hero” Scott. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean,or Spreaker.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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John’s Horror Corner: Patrick (1978), a mediocre medical-mystery horror about a comatose patient with telekinetic powers and a crush on his nurse.
MY CALL: This was one of those great ideas of the 70s that may have been creepy then but just feels kind of boring now. MORE MOVIES LIKE Patrick: One may venture the sequel Patrick Still Lives (1980) along with Demon Seed (1977) and The Manitou (1978). There is also the recent remake Patrick: Evil Awakens (2013), along with The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016) and Eli (2019) for more recent fare.
I never even knew this movie existed until I saw Patrick: Evil Awakens (2013) and, while learning about the film online, discovered it was a remake. Now having seen this 1978 “classic,” I can’t say I’m surprised I hadn’t heard of it. It’s rather mediocre; interesting but slow. But I imagine it would have been much more exciting at the time of its release.
Newly employed as a nurse at the very private Roget Clinic, Kathy (Susan Penhaligon; Count Dracula, The Uncanny) is hired by the cold Matron Cassidy (Julia Blake; Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark) to tend the clinic’s comatose patients which serve as Doctor Roget’s (Robert Helpmann) research subjects.
As Nurse Kathy comes to communicate with the presumed brain-dead Patrick, Patrick develops a sick fondness for her which he relays through a typewriter. He hints the fate of her boyfriend, professes his love, threatens and even urges Kathy to “join him.” Of course, he’s brain dead! So, no one believes this to be true… not until Patrick assaults them with his powers.
Director Richard Franklin (Psycho II, Road Games) takes his time developing the story. I enjoyed the development, but it was slow. Unfortunately, there is little horror payoff for our patience—the shocks are few. Gore isn’t abundant nor does the movie rely on it, but it’s effective when present.
Even the very depictions of telekinesis develop from weak spiritual tremors, to poltergeist jolts (laughably launching a potted plant across a room), to complete sorcerous control—for example, forcing a man across town to grab a hot pot with his bare hands. But none of it is ever very engaging. When Patrick tries to drown a man from across town, it comes off as someone swimming circles underwater and then gasping for air.
So again, neat story but boring execution.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast #247: Only God Forgives, Fist Fights and Karaoke
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker. (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere)
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
The MFF podcast is back, and this week we’re talking about Only God Forgives. Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn (Drive, Neon Demon) this brutal film is a beautiful looking descent into a Hellscape filled with red hues, bloody faces and torture. Many critics and unassuming viewers were caught off guard by this nasty masterpiece, however, we’ve always embraced the chaos, and appreciate Refn’s decision to veer away from his Drive success. In this episode, we discuss tailored suits, dangerous hands and terrible mothers.
If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean,or Spreaker.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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The Dead Don’t Die: A Very Rewatchable “Zombie” Film
“We have to get it right, because dozens of people watch my movies.” Adam Driver quoting director Jim Jarmusch.
The Dead Don’t Die is an immensely enjoyable film that features coffee zombies, head killing and many mentions of Sturgill Simpson. Directed by Jim Jarmusch (Coffee and Cigarettes, Only Lovers Left Alive, Dead Man, Paterson, Broken Flowers.…I love his movies), The Dead Don’t Die wasn’t exactly what audiences (who didn’t know about Jarmusch beforehand) anticipated when they sat down to watch the movie in theaters. I love that it made $14 million domestically, however, critics and audiences were annoyed about its lack of a message and “meta japery” that hung over the 105-minute running time.
I love the film and think it only gets better with each viewing. The jokes get funnier (what, are we improvising here?), there are new wrinkles to enjoy (Wu-ps), and the word “ghouls” never gets old. The Dead Don’t Die has a unique personality that allows jokes to linger and gives actors like Bill Murray, Adam Driver, Tilda Swinton, Chloe Sevigny, Danny Glover, Caleb Landry Jones and RZA some truly fun moments.
The Dead Don’t Die focuses on a zombie outbreak that takes place in a small town named Centerville. During the laid-back apocalypse, the local police force comprised of Ronnie Peterson (Adam Driver), Mindy Morrison (Chloe Sevigny) and Chief Cliff Robertson (Bill Murray) find themselves overwhelmed as they attempt to “protect” the locals while drinking lots of coffee, and killing the heads of various zombies. While they are being kept busy with zombies, we’re introduced to several Cleveland hipsters lead by Zoe (Selena Gomez), a cranky farmer named Miller (Steve Buscemi) and a samurai sword-wielding mortician named Zelda (Tilda Swinton).
Throughout the course of the outbreak, no one is in a hurry, and that only adds to the overall vibe of the film. I’ve never seen such a relaxed apocalypse, and while many people are killed, the films moves at a relaxed pace that soaks up the atmosphere and allows for Adam Driver and Bill Murray to bicker at each other endlessly (you got the full script?) while they chop off zombie heads.
I love The Dead Don’t Die, and think it might be the most rewatchable 2019 film. If you are in the mood for a laid-back zombie film, I totally recommend you watch The Dead Don’t Die.
Here is the “official unofficial” coffee drinking game for The Dead Don’t Die. Take a sip of coffee whenever you hear:
- Yuck
- Sturgill Simpson
- Kill the Head
- Coffee
- Ghouls
- Wild Animal(s)
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast #246: Scream 4, Terrible Lemon Squares and Lots of Stabbing
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker. (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere)
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
The MFF podcast is back, and this week we’re talking about the Wes Craven directed Scream 4. Released in 2011, 11 years after the release of Scream 3, this long-delayed sequel-reboot plays with the idea of celebrity, social media and disgusting lemon squares that taste like ass. Scream 4 brings back the old crew (Sidney, Dewey, Gail), and teams them up with newcomers who aren’t nearly as interesting (Kirby is the bomb though), and together they deal with a masked killer(s) who is very clumsy. In this episode, we discuss horror remakes, lemon squares and rank the Stab movies.
If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean,or Spreaker.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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John’s Horror Corner: The Grudge (2004), the suspenseful remake of the Japanese Ju-on: The Grudge (2002).
MY CALL: Despite lacking the scariness that I recall back in 2004, this is an engaging film worthy of your time. It features a great cast and a well-told, very creepy story with some memorable visuals. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Grudge: Well, Ju-on: The Grudge (2002) and Ju-on: The Grudge 2 (2003) would be the best place to start; followed by The Ring (2002) and Ringu (1998), then Ju-on (2000) and Ju-on 2 (2000).
REMAKE/REIMAGINING SIDEBAR: For more horror remakes, I strongly favor the following: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978), An American Werewolf in London (1981), The Thing (1982), The Fly (1986), The Mummy (1999), The Ring (2002), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), The Hills Have Eyes (2006), Friday the 13th (2009), Let Me In (2010), Evil Dead (2013), Carrie (2013), The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014), It (2017), Suspiria (2018) and Child’s Play (2019). Those to avoid include The Thing (2011; a prequel/remake), Patrick: Evil Awakens (2013), Poltergeist (2015), Cabin Fever (2016), A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), Night of the Demons (2009), Body Snatchers (1993; the second remake), The Invasion (2007; the third remake), War of the Worlds (2005) and The Mummy (2017). I’m on the fence about An American Werewolf in Paris (1997), Halloween (2007), It’s Alive (2009), My Bloody Valentine (2009), Fright Night (2011), Maniac (2012) and Pet Sematary (2019), which range from bad to so-so (as remakes) but still are entertaining movies on their own.
Having moved abroad to Tokyo with her boyfriend (Jason Behr), Karen (Sarah Michelle Gellar; Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Scream 2, The Grudge 2) accepts a social work case after a senile elderly woman’s (Grace Zabriskie) caretaker (Yôko Maki) curiously disappears.
After Karen has a disturbing supernatural encounter during her house call, it seems that everyone who comes in contact with that house finds a terrible fate… including the previous owners years ago.
“When someone dies in the grip of a powerful rage a curse is born. The curse gathers in that place of death.”
When our first victim encounters a ghastly spirit in the attic, the shots are simple but tactful as they reveal the pale shadow-obscured visage, and the ghost’s face is effectively unnerving. And while the CGI hasn’t aged magnificently over 15 years, the creeping hair remains eerie but no longer feels so scary. In fact, I feel like many ploys utilized in this film felt much more creepy in 2004 than they do now. For example, somehow the cat-hissing ghost kid and the slow-croaking female ghost just don’t seem to cut it anymore.
Sure, some of the scary stuff doesn’t hold up well. But the suspense is strong, and the writing and story remain stimulating. When they discover the owners of the house strangely placed in the attic along with “someone’s” ripped-out lower jaw… color me creeped out and intrigued. And when you see the lower jaw-ripped victim—solid gory gold!
Director Takashi Shimizu (Ju-on 1-2, The Grudge 1-2, Flight 7500) delivers a solidly entertaining horror remake (of his own original) which, I feel, suffers greatest from a lack of intensity. Not sure if an R rating would solve it, but it would have likely unbridled the director. Still, Bill Pullman (The Serpent and the Rainbow, Brain Dead, Lake Placid) and Ted Raimi’s (Drag Me to Hell, Wishmaster) roles guide us to interesting surprises, and some video scenes and our facially-obscured female ghost are kindly thematic of The Ring (2002).
Despite lacking the scariness that I recall in 2004, this is an engaging film worthy of your time. It features a great cast and a well-told, creepy story.
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John’s Horror Corner: The Unborn (2009), the Dybbuk demon movie in which Gary Oldman and Idris Elba perform an exorcism.
MY CALL: Ignore the implications of the movie poster. Yes, it’s another creeping possession movie starring a cute girl in her underwear… but this is actually a good one! Some decent effects, good pacing, interesting story and an amazing cast transcend this beyond simply being a few creepy kids and jumpscares. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Unborn: Not to be confused with The Unborn (1991), this is much closer to—and far superior to—The Possession (2012). And for another 2009 movie whose solid quality and cast was overlooked because of a sultry movie poster, try Jennifer’s Body (2009).
This movie really has a serious cast. Watch out for Carla Gugino (Gerald’s Game, The Haunting of Hill House), Idris Elba (The Reaping, Prom Night), James Remar (The Warriors, Tales from the Darkside, Hellraiser: Inferno), Cam Gigandet (The Roommate, Assimilate) and Meagan Good (The Intruder, Venom, Saw V) in supporting roles.
Eerie things begin happening to Casey (Odette Annable/Yustman; Cloverfield., And Soon the Darkness). When she investigates her curious family history and some troubling Jewish mythology, no one is able to offer credible advice. So, she seeks the support of Rabbi Sendak (Gary Oldman; The Fifth Element, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Red Riding Hood) to perform an exorcism.
This often-overlooked film opens with a combination of gorgeous winterscape photography and trendy horror tropes including visions of a sickly young boy and ghostly visages in old photographs. Tropes aside, the production strikes me as quite thoughtful for such non-highbrow horror. But even if well-executed, this movie isn’t without cheaper ploys as well—like jump scares involving “unexpected insects” or sudden ghostly screams, and various poltergeist-y goings-on.
We toe the line between pregnancy horror and a haunting movie without distinctly being either as the Jewish demon, the Dybbuk, tries to transition its way into our world through Casey. Creepy kid imagery abounds as Casey is haunted with things often associated with pregnancy horror—the notion of a child that wants to be born, her unborn twin, and visions of a demonic fetus. Later in the film, there is some disturbing imagery that reaches beyond slack-jawed ghosts and wanders near Lovecraftian terror.
The special effects are solid for the time. Some limited CGI won’t hold up well, but overall I remain pleased with the effective visuals of evil. And while surprisingly not a major source of the special effects, the exorcism scene is as realistic as it gets in terms of preparation and writing, and its execution captures aspects of Prince of Darkness (1987). Writer and director David S. Goyer (Blade: Trinity) did well with this film.
This movie isn’t necessarily a thrill rollercoaster. But to its credit, even its slower parts are interesting and well-composed. Despite a poster featuring a girl in her underwear, this movie also avoids trashy tactics, nudity or gore (nor does it need it)… although there is a great back-breaker scene and a viscerally ripped-open face make-up. I’d say we get every bit that we need to remain interested and invested in the generally well-written characters and story. I quite like this film.
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The MFF podcast is back, and this week we’re talking about Blade 2! Directed by Guillermo del Toro (Hellboy, The Shape of Water), this 2002 sequel is loaded with excellent set pieces, gooey practical effects and loads of gore. This underappreciated sequel was a worldwide hit, and we still can’t understand how it only has a Rotten 57% Tomatometer score. In this episode, we discuss blood raves, del Toro’s love of vampires, and Norman Reedus eating doughnuts. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean,or Spreaker.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
Movies, Films & Flix 