John’s Horror Corner: Ticks (1993), the EXCELLENT gory giant bug B-movie for the entomologists out there.
MY CALL: Honestly, this is one of the better gory B-movies you could choose. Really fun with silly but still actually good creature effects, a hokey premise, and abundant gross effects. Also, best Clint Howard performance in horror ever! MORE MOVIES LIKE Ticks: For more insectoid, arachnid and invertebrate horror try The Nest (1988), Slugs (1988), The Bay (2012), Arachnophobia (1990), Mosquito (1994), The Fly (1986) and Mimic (1997). The Mist (2007) and The Thing (1982) get a bit more tentacular but have some buggy appeal, and The Thaw (2009), Blue Monkey (1987) and Things (1989) use totally made up arthropod-like creatures. And of course, one shouldn’t overlook the sci-fi action Starship Troopers (1997).
No entomologist (or acarologist) would consider a basement a likely home for ticks—unless there was a mammal den of sorts. Yet here we find presumably toxic sludge-run-off from machinery leaking through the floor boards and mutating some pulsating grub-like biological mass. We’ll assume, for the sake of the movie title, that this is supposed to be a tick. And with a little foreshadowing we learn from our resident teen scientist Tyler (Seth Green; Idle Hands, It) that ticks are the “vampires of the insect world” and are too tough to squash. But unlike real ticks, these mutated ticks are the size of rodents, scramble with impressive dexterity and leap at their prey. They also form big, brain-like cocoons that drop from the ceiling like paratrooper facehuggers. Whether discussing nature or monster movie dynamics, it’s pretty ridiculous. But in a B-movie, it’s pretty amusing.
Holly (Rosalind Allen; Children of the Corn II) runs a camp for troubled teens in the woods of California. Among the campers are Tyler, Dee Dee (Ami Dolenz; Witchboard 2, Pumpkinhead II), Melissa (Virginya Keehne; The Dentist) and Darrel (Alfonso Ribeiro; The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air). Upon inspecting their camp cabin, Tyler finds one of those organ-like squishy cocoons and pierces it, resulting in a thick green oozy discharge. Deliciously gross!
The tone of Ticks is akin to Leprechaun (1993) or Critters (1986)—gory yet comfortably silly and completely self-aware. Approaching much less serious horror than his past venture and swooping in not long after his excellently gross 80s sequel, director Tony Randel (Hellbound: Hellraiser II) confetties this flick with messy special effects. The slimy cocoons are presented abundantly and refreshingly in several different manners, there is plenty of blood and detailed visceral guts, and I loved the animatronics and stop-motion effects.
It should come as no surprise that Clint Howard (Ice Cream Man, Evilspeak, Leprechaun 2) totally steals the show when he encounters the first tick, the first cocoon, and suffers the first infestation. And yes, he gets infested! The ticks burrow under the skin and Howard frantically shoots himself in hopes of dispatching the vermin. The latex and gore are a hot gooey mess of awesome and Howard acts the heck out of it with full-tilt madness.
Another crowd-pleasing favorite was the Ripley-Newt facehugger-like (Aliens) scene with the tick scrambling along the floor, up walls, and leaping at faces. Appropriately, it was followed by a gory facehugger dissection-like (Alien) scene and another featuring a clustered mass of egg-cocoons harkened of Gremlins (1984) as much Aliens (1986).
There’s even a gigantic tick that awesomely tears out of someone’s body, covered in entrails—perhaps playfully echoing the giant monster surprises in Ghoulies II (1988), Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988), The Gate (1987) or Critters (1986). Because who doesn’t want a giant version of the movie monster, right?
Of all the bad movies I love, this ranks among the very best in terms of rewatchability. Yes, it’s a B-movie and it knows it. But it swings for the fences and snags a grand slam. The pacing is energetic, you’ll enjoy recognizing some of the cast, and effects are pretty excellent, diverse and abundant (we never see the same gag twice without a different fun spin on it)… oh, and very gory! What a blast!
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The MFF Podcast #188: Cliffhanger
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The MFF podcast is back, and this week we’re talking about the 1993 action-epic Cliffhanger. We love this Renny Harlin directed movie and couldn’t wait to talk about John Lithgow punching Sylvester Stallone in the ribs, and the actual cost of hijacking a plane in the air. In this episode, you will also hear us discuss burger restaurants, weird kicking choices, and flannels that are way too big. If you are a fan of Cliffhanger, you will love this episode.
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If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast #187: Willow
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The MFF podcast is back, and this week we’re talking about the underrated 1988 fantasy film Willow. Writer/producer George Lucas and director Ron Howard teamed up to make a very fun film featuring a 17-year old Warwick Davis and a very game Val Kilmer battling evil wizards, two-headed dragons and gross trolls. The movie holds up really well because of the practical effects, massive sets and beautiful New Zealand locations which make everything look epic. In this podcast, you will hear us talk about brownies on eagles, wizard fistfights and Val Kilmer being a believable badass. If you are a fan of Willow, you will love this episode.
Kilmer is a badass in this movie.
If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
You need to watch Knightriders.
The MFF podcast is back, and this week we’re talking about a movie that features motorcycle jousting, renaissance fairs and Tom Savini in a major role. George Romero’s underappreciated 1981 movie is 145 minutes of uniqueness, and we don’t think any other director could’ve (or would’ve) made anything similar. In this podcast, you will hear us discuss lecherous knights, Ed Harris looking jacked, and the amount of money needed to keep a traveling renaissance fair featuring motorcycle jousting profitable. If you are a fan of George Romero, you will love this episode.
If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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Love, Death & Robots (2019), the animated Sci-Fi anthology series I’ve waited my whole life to see!
MY CALL: This series is everything that I never realized I was always waiting for in terms of feisty science fiction. Fans of Anime, fighting robots, Adult Swim and Pixar should enjoy this excellent anthology series. MORE Sci-Fi ANTHOLOGIES: The Twilight Zone (1959-64, 1985-89, 2002-2003, 2019), Outer Limits (1963-65, 1995-2002), Oats Studios Volume 1 (2017), Black Mirror (2011-17; 4 seasons) and Electric Dreams (2017-2018). The ABCs of Death (2013), The ABCs of Death 2 (2014) and The ABCs of Death 2.5 (2016) are primarily horror series, but have their share of Sci-Fi as well.
I’m a big fan of science fiction and anthology series. Black Mirror (2011-17; 4 seasons) made its allegorical mark focusing on cautionary tales intermixing morality with our potential trajectories misusing, overusing, or addicting to technology and/or social media. Subsequently Oats Studios Volume 1 (2017) and Electric Dreams (2017-2018) continued to grace Sci-Fi fans with more creative inklings within the genre. Now creator Tim Miller (Deadpool) brings a vast range of themes and tones from visceral head smashes to the hilarious banter of quirky robot tourists with an interest in mankind and a fearful respect for cats.
While I’d love to see any of these stories extended into longer stories, the brief 6 to 16-minute segments offer the very best of their creators’ visions and spare us the “general audience” pandering enforced by studios that cheapen films for big cash grabs. Animation styles vary wildly, from nearly life-like CGI (e.g., Beyond the Aquila Rift, Shape-Shifters, Helping Hand) and Pixar style (e.g., When the Yogurt Took Over, The Dump) to Saturday morning cartoons (e.g., Suits, Sucker of Souls) and Anime (e.g., The Witness, Good Hunting)… and some of them are actually mostly live-action (e.g., Lucky 13, Ice Age).
As the title suggests, content will be a bit more edgy than standard fare—including LGBTQ sexuality (e.g., Sonnie’s Edge), stylishly animated nudity (e.g., The Witness, Good Hunting), and even some graphic sex scenes (e.g., Beyond the Aquila Rift). It would be fair to note that this series is an equal opportunist regarding nudity, showing every bit as many animated penises as breasts (e.g., The Dump, Sucker of Souls, Good Hunting). Yet for all the nudity the sexuality never pushes audiences to discomfort. It’s presented more honestly and, at times, almost holistically. Yes, sexual themes abound in this series as the title implies, but the series is more concerned with its storytelling than it is with gratuitous thrills. Still some episodes are more wholesomely PG (e.g., Suits, When the Yogurt Took Over), with themes are as diverse as the effects style. Three Robots and Sucker of Souls both embrace a playful love of cats—actually as do several other episodes include glimpses of feline fondness. On the other end of the spectrum, Shape-Shifters and Sonnie’s Edge deliver the best brutal, gory action, while Beyond the Aquila Rift and Helping Hand both feature wonderful spacescape and spaceship special effects.
Now let’s discuss the short segments…
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Sonnie’s Edge opens the series with the grit and sexuality of modern videogame-adapted Anime while approaching Kaiju-esque monster-versus-monster ring-fighting themes from Arena (1989), Real Steel (2011), The Guyver (1991) and Pacific Rim (2013). The psychological motivations are dark, the villains seethe malevolence, and our hero is as dark as they come. The monster combat is outstanding and crisply animated with plenty of blood and gore, cool maneuvers, animalistic behavior and feisty surprises which rollover from the monster combat to the “players.” In fact, the scenes with the human players get every bit as dark and brutal as the monster scenes! Staying in brutal monster-fighting theme, Shape-Shifters brings us werewolf Marines in Afghanistan. The transformation scenes are just okay and the werewolves look decent. But the werewolf violence, gore and action are where this segment truly shines. The fight is full of brutal rendings.
Then we shift to the light-hearted humor of Three Robots (including Josh Brener; The Belko Experiment, Max Steel) on a walking tour of post-apocalyptic Earth. Smacking of a mature approach to Wall-E (2008), the strongly contrasting personalities of these three robots each add their own delightful flavor as they try to make sense of human’s existence—from their self-destructive nuclear weapons, to basketball, to cohabitation with cats (voiced by Chris Parnell; Archer, Rick & Morty, SNL). It’s all hilarious and features strikingly sharp writing and comedy. Likewise, Alternate Histories is a positively joyous comedic romp exploring alternate timelines of Hitler’s death. The scenarios are ridiculous and hilarious, and the animation style is a refreshing change of silly pace.
The Witness swings into full-tilt thriller as a futuristic sex worker witnesses a murder and flees the killer. The style harkens more classic Anime and is rooted in reality except for its Twilight Zone-y twist. This segment featured the least dialogue but still offered a lot. Next Good Hunting brings an abundance of animated breasts and penises to what would otherwise pass as a very PG cartoon story animated like a children’s cartoon (but with genitals LOL). This segment mixes traditional Anime swordplay with Asian folklore (shape-shifting huli jing) and steampunk.
Still some of the episodes are notably less mature in nature—ranging more PG to PG-13. Suits is yet another segment playing on the robot pilot theme of Pacific Rim (2013) and Robot Jox (1989), as an agrarian community suits up to defend their land from portals spewing Zergling-like hordes of Starship Troopers (1997) bugs like the sentinel assault on Zion in The Matrix: Revolutions (2003). While conceptually satisfying, the Saturday morning cartoon style animation and less dire tone left this among my least favorite episodes, not that it wasn’t well done or enjoyable on its own. More violent but still carrying the Saturday morning cartoon vibe with a gang of cyborgs fighting a giant robot during a high-speed heist, Blind Spot also wasn’t impressive. Sucker of Souls is a mix of Saturday morning cartoon with R-rated humor, PG-13 gore and a touch of Castlevania (2017-2019; Netflix) illustrating a more monstrously demonic iteration of Dracula accidently released during an archaeological expedition.
Another episode that failed to impress me in theme and tone, not that it didn’t add diversity to the series, was Fish Night—my least favorite of the series although conceptually interesting. Vaguely reminiscent of A Scanner Darkly (2006) and smacking of a beautiful desert peyote trip-gone-wrong in The Matrix (1999) of prehistoric natural history. But I know “cool” when I see it. And that’s exactly what I saw in Zima Blue, a unique idea backed with excellent storytelling. However, the animation style and non-action theme wasn’t what I desired. I expect many will enjoy these more arthouse-inspired segments.
When the Yogurt Took Over is a brilliantly funny apocalyptic satire in which yogurt takes over the world. Appropriately narrated by Maurice LaMarche (Pinky and the Brain, Animaniacs, The Critic). Need I say more? The Dump tells the quirky story of a goofy old redneck living in a garbage dump, the man from the city (Gary Cole; Office Space) trying to evict him, and the old redneck’s pet garbage monster Otto. It carries an idiosyncratic charm.
Capturing the writing stylings of the Outer Limits (1995-2002), Beyond the Aquila Rift has the kind of storytelling and Sci-Fi twists that will cultivate nostalgia. A crew awakens from hyper-sleep far off course… VERY far off course. The revelation of the alien creature truly shocked me as the episode ended much like Event Horizon (1997).
Contrary to the overwhelmingly animated theme, Lucky 13 features purely live-action actors surrounded by much in the way of flight and military ship effects. As a major Star Wars fan, I enjoyed the excellent aircraft chase scene under the cavernous flats and the tactical scenes taking off while saving soldiers under fire. And get ready for an utterly wrenching visual vignette of survival as Gravity (2013) meets 127 Hours (2010) in Helping Hand.
Another live-action entry is Ice Age. This segment stars Topher Grace (Spider-Man 3, Interstellar) and Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Final Destination 3, The Thing, 10 Cloverfield Lane) as a couple whose refrigerator houses the evolution of modern civilization. It’s cheeky and reminds me of the God short film from Oats Studios Volume 1 (2017). Then we return to heavy action as Secret War boasts gorgeous shots of winter forests and battlescapes with Russians battling legions of infernal monsters. Great gore, action, creature effects, wardrobing and cinematography all bring this together into an excellent close to the series.
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This series is everything that I never realized I was always waiting for in terms of feisty science fiction. And while there were several episodes I didn’t like, they averaged about 10 minutes! So it’s easy to skip the segment and not feel a big loss as one advances to more preferable genre fare. Fans of Anime, fighting robots, Adult Swim and mature-themed Pixar should enjoy this excellent anthology series. I can’t wait for a second season.
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MY CALL: For this pseudo-haunting-turned-home invasion, I offer a soft recommendation for fans of True Crime or Hilary Duff. But truly there is nothing original here; nothing we haven’t seen before. Still it was nice seeing Duff tackle a serious role and the film was proficiently made with some brutal imagery. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Haunting of Sharon Tate: Hard to say… probably Zodiac (2007) or The Strangers (2008).
Disclaimer: Screener access was provided by a publicist. However, I was not paid or compensated to write this nor were there any conditions to my receiving viewing access other than the timing of my solicited review.
After visions of her own grisly death by the hand of Charles Manson’s cult, actress Sharon Tate (Hilary Duff; Younger, Material Girls, A Cinderella Story, Cheaper by the Dozen) believed she had experienced a psychic phenomenon. Then in 1969 she was murdered. This is the story of her last days…
Welcomed by her close friends and far from her husband (Roman Polanski) who is finishing a film in Europe, a very pregnant Sharon Tate moves into a country-style house looking forward to the birth of her child. But Sharon finds little peace as she is haunted by daily unwelcome visitors, an apparently possessed tape player, and nightmares of her own peril.
Written and directed by horror documentarian Daniel Farrands (The Amityville Murders, Crystal Lake Memories, Never Sleep Again), this fictionalization based on Tate’s 1968 account (i.e., her psychic premonition) breeds a “True Crime meets Zodiac (2007)” atmosphere. Whether by virtue of knowing that Sharon Tate will actually be murdered or the emotional uneasiness of her suspicions that her husband is having an affair, this film never allows the audience to relax. We’re ever on edge because something is always off, and that may be the film’s best quality.
Seeing Hilary Duff casting away her wholesome family-friendly and youth-targeted roles remanded me a skeptical viewer. From scene to scene her performance quality felt passable yet quite inconsistent; at times working noticeably too hard on nailing every syllable of Tate’s accent and high society cant, others she felt convincingly desperate and terrified. Put simply, she performed better when summoning vital or emotional stakes to her character.
As we wade deeper into the one-dimensional plot, visceral scenes of bloody murder and gleeful murderers provide visions of The Strangers (2008) through a more realistic and less horror-sensationalized filter. And animal lovers ought to beware imagery of brutalized pets with waves of oscillating maggots erupting from their wounds. But what really caught me off guard (or perhaps impressed me) was what I’d describe as “practical violence”—not some theatrically glammed up violent flair, but the simple desperate pragmatism in freezing scared and then scrambling for a porcelain toilet cover and breaking it over someone’s face or the awkwardly clumsy unproficiency of wielding a shovel as a weapon.
What starts as a doubtful “haunting” finds its way to the kind of home invasion we’ve seen all seen before. Yes, we’ve seen it. It’s not a special film, but it’s a decent movie. And whereas I mentioned Duff’s performance was “passable,” this very performance leaves me optimistic of her potential in future dramatic roles. Likewise, Daniel Farrands is finding his feet as a horror filmmaker (including The Amityville Murders) after his significant success as a horror documentarian. Everyone shows great promise… I just promise you won’t be overly impressed with The Haunting of Sharon Tate. Consider it popcorn fare for Hilary Duff fans.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast #185: Constantine
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The MFF podcast is back, and this week we’re talking about the underappreciated 2005 film Constantine. We’re big fans of Francis Lawrence’s Hellblazer adaption, so we read copious articles, listened to the DVD commentaries and found some great stuff to share with you. We still can’t believe he got Tilda Swinton, Peter Stormare, Rachel Weisz, Djimon Hounsou and Keanu Reeves to appear (and look awesome) in this movie. In this episode, you will hear us talk about kicking crabs, smoking spiders and Gavin Rossdale rocking some sweet tailored suits. If you are a fan of Constantine, you will love this episode.
If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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MFF Data: Analyzing the Jet Ski Chase in ‘Halloween VIIII – Battle on the Bayou: Michael’s Final Halloween’
Halloween VIIII – Battle on the Bayou: Michael’s Final Halloween is what happens when you sneeze into a cheap tissue. Roger Ebert (1996)
Many of you remember Halloween VIIII – Battle on the Bayou: Michael’s Final Halloween as the film that ended the run of the Halloween franchise. In 1996, the series was reeling after the poor performance of Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, and it was given one last shot to stay relevant in the evolving horror market. Knowing that the series needed a change, the producers and executives at Dimension Films decided to send Michael Myers to Louisiana to hunt the brother he never knew he had. In a major casting coup, Jean-Claude Van Damme was cast as Police Detective Chance Strode, the long-lost older brother of Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis). JCVD’s career had hit a rough patch after Street Fighter, Sudden Death, Drop the Beat and Spin-Kick City failed to hit at the box office, so, desperate for a minor rebrand, he signed on to play the role for a lesser-fee with money promised on the back end.
You haven’t lived until you’ve seen JCVD spin kick Michael Myers.
The producers at Dimension couldn’t afford to pay an established director, so they brought in stuntman legend and first-time director Steve Balsawood (stunts for Lawrence of Arabia, Ghost, Fire 2: Too Hot To Handle, and Backslap: The Movie) to direct a script written by a young writer named Chuck Finley, who had written the well-received and commercially successful 1995 horror film Don’t Throw That Knife At Me!. If there was one concern, it was that the movie had to go from script-to-screen in a mere six months, which meant the filming would commence without a finished script and locations that were not fully scouted or vetted.
Desperate to bring in additional funding to beef up the $4 million budget. The folks at Dimension signed a partnership with Yamaha to feature their X45 jet skis for a sizable amount that would help pay for the 23-day shoot. All was good until JCVD told the producers that he wouldn’t partake in any night shoots, which forced Finley and director Balsawood to revamp the script to make it a “day-time horror picture.” After several sleepless nights, and many unforgivable insults flung at each other, the two nailed down a script that played like a Halloween movie met Nowhere to Run and Hard Target, then completely forgot the Halloween angle. The highlight of the script was a jet ski chase that featured JCVD chasing down Michael Myers to make sure he can’t obtain the Spear of Destiny, which would make him even more immortal.
Early concept art for Halloween VIIII.
Shooting began soon thereafter and everything quickly became a nightmare due to unreliable jet ski prototypes, infighting, terrible weather, rewrites, adultery, rampant drug use, scurvy, bad shellfish, impromptu crying sessions and budget cuts which you can read about in Balsawood’s book I Hated Directing That Movie. The rest is history, but one scene has always stuck with me and I finally decided to tackle it in hopes of making sense of it.
Michael goes in circles a lot!
The following breaks down the incredibly random jet ski chase during the climax of the movie. I read in Balsawood’s book that they only had one day to shoot the scene and no locations to film the actual chase. So, the director, JCVD and a masked stuntman went out to a tiny island on the last day of principal photography and shot several hours of footage near the island. During their shooting, JCVD and the stuntman were only able to drive around the island 12 times due to the unreliable Yamaha X45 prototypes. Thus, the climax of the movie is centered around two men driving around in circles.
This is a picture from earlier in the film. JCVD and his friend talk about how great the jet skis are for seven minutes.
Here are my assumptions:
- They averaged 45 MPH during the entire chase
- They covered 180 miles during the chase
- They circled the tiny Louisiana island an estimated 848 times during their chase
Enjoy the beautiful graphic that recreates the chase.
Here is what I know:
I know a lot because the movie tells us everything
- The movie has a 36% Tomatometer score, and it made $37 million at the international box office. Surprisingly, it has a 7.6 rating on IMDb.
- The X45 Yamaha prototypes have 20 gallon tanks and get 9 miles per gallon. We learn this when JCVD says “Wow, the X45 Yamaha prototypes have 20 gallon tanks and get 9 miles per gallon.”
- The rectangular island has a diameter of 360×160 feet and the best way to circle it on the jet ski is to stay 20 feet away from the shore (380×180 feet = 1,120 foot diameter). We learn this when Crazy Cajun Karl (Clint Howard) says “look for an island that is roughly equal to the size of a American foosball* field….including the endzone. Make sure to circle twenty feet around the shore.”
- The chase scene lasted four hours. I know this because during the scene JCVD yells “It’s almost been four hours and these X45 Yamahas are still running. What efficiency!”
- The only person who can grab the “Spear of Destiny” is the man who fulfills a very specific prophecy. We learn this when Crawdaddy Kat (Kathy Bates) says “Only the man whose Yamaha jet ski runs of gas may grab the spear of destiny. He only can be stopped by a man who has run out of gas while riding the same exact Yamaha jet ski.”
- The gas tanks were totally full. We know this because when Michael Myers and JCVD steal them, the gas station attendant says “Hey! I just filled them X45 Yamahas with gas!”
- I know they circled the island because of the movies theme song, which peaked at number #78 on Billboard’s Hot 100 Charts in 1996. The song “Going in Circles” by Lit, featured these lyrics “We’re going in circles, circles never stop because their infinite, much like Michael Myers.”
There you have it! JCVD and Michael Myers circled a tiny Louisiana island 848 times during their four-hour chase scene in Halloween VIIII – Battle on the Bayou: Michael’s Final Halloween.
If you like this dumb data, make sure to check out my other data pieces
- Analyzing the flag football game in Get Out
- Is the cheeseburger front kick scene in Dolph Lundgren’s 36 Again possible?
- Technically, Trantor the Troll from Ernest Scared Stupid is the Juiciest Monster Ever
- Could Freddy Kreuger really land a 747 Jumbo Jet?
- Is Jordan Peele’s Us a secret sequel to Multiplicity?
- Analyzing how Ethan Hawke was able to wear four cardigans at one time during Sinister
- First Reformed features a secret metaphor for laundry detergent
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John’s Horror Corner: The Field Guide to Evil (2018), a horror anthology about folklore and mythology from around the world.
MY CALL: Not a bad way to spend two hours. Of course, there are better anthologies out there with better production value and tighter themes. But the exposure to lesser-known folklore fauna is something I find titillating and the very reason I go crazy for films like Trollhunter (2010), Thale (2012) and The Ritual (2017). With a theme so interesting, how you could you not want to see this regardless of the reviews? Of all the horror stories told a dozen times on screen, I vote for the mythology I’ve never heard of for my anthology.
MORE HORROR ANTHOLOGIES: Dead of Night (1945), Black Sabbath (1963), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), The Uncanny (1977), Creepshow (1982), Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983), Stephen King’s Cat’s Eye (1985), Deadtime Stories (1986), Creepshow 2 (1987), After Midnight (1989), Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990), Two Evil Eyes (1990), Grimm Prairie Tales (1990), The Willies (1990), Necronomicon: Book of the Dead (1993), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Campfire Tales (1997), 3 Extremes (2004), Creepshow 3 (2006), Trick ‘r Treat (2007), Chillerama (2011), Little Deaths (2011), V/H/S (2012), The Theater Bizarre (2012), The ABCs of Death (2013), V/H/S 2 (2013), The Profane Exhibit (2013), The ABCs of Death 2 (2014), V/H/S Viral (2014), Southbound (2015), Tales of Halloween (2015), A Christmas Horror Story (2015), The ABCs of Death 2.5 (2016), Holidays (2016), Terrified (2017; aka Aterrados, which is a pseudo-anthology), Oats Studios, Vol. 1 (2017), Ghost Stories (2017) and XX (2017).
This is not a big budget feature, and it shows (forgivably in some segments, less so in others). The opening credits feature dark Renaissance scoring and animation in the illustrative style of centuries-old theological texts hinting at the content of the eight short films to come. The tone is murderous yet festive, evoking a somewhat playful mood. Folklore, legends, myths; such are the origin of our most ancient dreams… and even nightmares. And that is the theme of this anthology: eight pieces of folklore from eight different directors representing eight countries.
There really is no wraparound story. After the opening credits introduce us to our Field Guide to Evil book, each story is introduced with a brief description of the folklore in question (e.g., an explanation of a type of evil spirit) and the country of origin.
Like any multi-filmmaker anthology (e.g., V/H/S, The ABCs of Death), the quality of the eight stories vary wildly. I’d consider the first three segments worthy of adaptation into 30 to 90-minute films. Some take place in present day, but many are more folky. Journeying through this anthology we’ll find goblins, spirits, mutants and monsters. There are some rather viscerally gory images and disturbing imagery, whereas other stories are lighter in atmosphere.
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The Sinful Women of Hollfall, aka Die Trud (Austria)—Writing and directing team Veronika Franz and Severin Fiala (The Lodge, Goodnight Mommy) are strikingly effective storytellers. Theirs is the myth of the nighttime-visiting monsters (Truds) born of guilt. With wardrobes and antiquated superstition clearly depicting a folk horror period (e.g., The Witch, Apostle), this God-fearing story literally depicts desperate attempts to “wash” and “scrub” away one’s sins. Gorgeous woodland shots and general photography remind me of The Hallow (2015) and Hole in the Ground (2019), with the moss and cloverleaf greens aglow in pristine lighting. But some disturbing imagery contrasts this beauty. An excellent segment.
Haunted by Al Karisi, the Childbirth Djinn (Turkey)—Director Can Evrenol (Baskin, Housewife) delivers this gory, bloody, unnerving tale of the Al karisi—a child-stealing demon assuming the form of an old woman, cat or goat. As a young mother tends to her demented grandmother, we question the absence of the father, a strange wound on the mute old woman’s neck, and the young mother’s visions which bring her to fear for the life of her baby. Another very strong segment.
The Kindler and The Virgin (Poland)—Director Agnieszka Smoczynska (The Lure) spins a cautionary folk tale of the cost of the desire of wisdom which opens smacking of a much more seriously approached Viy (2014). A mystical (and perhaps undead) witch whispers the secrets of knowledge to a common man, who must eat the hearts of the recently deceased to claim his magical boon. While decently made, this is a less impressive segment that feels like a flashback vignette from The Brothers Grimm (2005).
Beware the Melonheads (United States)—After reading the opening caption, all you can think about is Wrong Turn (2003) or The Hills Have Eyes (2006). Director Calvin Lee Reeder (The Rambler) explores the classic trope of northern woodland violent mongoloid people with large heads and a possible taste for cannibalism. Unfortunately the general writing is garbage, the revelation of the antagonist falls flat on its boring face, and the special effects (the melonhead latex work) are just plain stupid. This might be the worst segment of the anthology and, if I’m being honest, I find the bulbous heads laughable yet unforgivable.
What Ever Happened to Panagas the Pagan? (Greece)—Director Yannis Veslemes (Norway) spins the tale of the Kallikantzaros—the Devil’s trickster offspring and lowly goblin underground dwellers who thrive among humans during the Christmas season. Sadly, this is another weak entry with poor writing and execution. It’s odd, actually, how I found myself sympathizing with the so-called evil goblin. If the goal of the film was to reveal how they are misunderstood, I’d say it failed. And if not, it failed all the same.
Palace of Horrors (India)—Like an Indian iteration of Freaks (1932), director Ashim Ahluwalia (Daddy, Miss Lovely) brings us a tale of a crumbling palace filled with deformed human curiosities in the early 1900s. Average “meh” style writing, weak photography and camerawork, but a neat concept presented just well enough to keep my interest until its hokey ending. But as one short story of eight, this was appropriately entertaining.
A Nocturnal Breath (Germany)—Director Katrin Gebbe (Nothing Bad Can Happen) provides a 1700s case study of the drude—an evil Bavarian spirit that possesses victims and spreads disease. Another case of a neat story that didn’t translate well to screen in its current presentation. The filmmaking was decent, I guess. It felt like a Masters of Horror series installation.
The Cobblers’ Lot (Hungary)—Based on the folktale The Princess’ Curse, two brothers compete for the affection of the princess. Director Peter Strickland (Berberian Sound Studio) employs a child’s storytelling whimsy through captions rather than dialogue. This lower budget entry manages to amuse more in the style of live theater than cinema, and feels like a poor man’s Tim Burton meets Grimm’s Bacchan fantasy. Kinda fun, but kinda more dumb; kinda hokey, but kinda okay with that.
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All told, this isn’t a horrible way to spend two hours. But clearly there are better anthologies out there with better overall production value and/or tighter themes (e.g., Trick ‘r Treat). Sure, I’d have wished that the first three segments were spread out so the higher quality films wouldn’t be so front-heavy. But it was just so interesting for me to be exposed to lesser-known folklore fauna (like the Jötunn in The Ritual). With a theme so interesting, how you could you not want to see this? Of all the horror stories told a dozen times on screen, I vote for the mythology I’ve never heard of for my anthology.
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John’s Horror Corner: The Oracle (1985), the boring Ouija-esque Christmas horror crime thriller you should be glad you never heard of.
MY CALL: This film is really trying to be good. So I feel badly saying it’s really, really, really boring and best left forgotten in an old dusty box of VHS in the basement. Only recommended for bad (really bad) B-movie night viewing. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Oracle: More Oujia-themed films include Witchboard (1986), Ouija (2014), Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016) and Veronica (2017). For more Christmas horror (that better ensnare the Christmas theme), try movies like Better Watch Out (2016), Black Christmas (1974, 2006 remake), A Christmas Horror Story (2015), Krampus (2015), Silent Night Deadly Night (1984), Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) and Gremlins (1984).
During her Christmas party, Jennifer (Caroline Capers Powers; who only ever acted in this one film) entertains her guests with a planchette to contact spirits like a Pictionary-Ouija board. After the game gets a bit awkward, the planchette communicates with Jennifer alone and, well, eventually slimy little squid monsters emerge from the planchette box. So now you think this is a weird little tentacled demon movie, right…? Wrong. We take a hard right into crime thriller territory with a psychic-medium angle and there is nothing good about it! Boy does it get dumb! But God help the filmmakers—I felt like they were really trying to make something good.
Emerging in the horror genre after a career in the adult film industry, director Roberta Findlay (Prime Evil, Lurkers, Blood Sisters) has generated typical B-movie fodder—although not really the kind I’d recommend. From its opening scenes it feels no different from any other one-(watch)-and-done throwaway horror flick from the 80s. Not as bad as Dark Tower (1987) or Things (1989), but definitely not as good as House (1986) either. And while it may transcend B-moviedom in its lack of utter silliness, it’s still silly in its lack of quality despite its best efforts.
Green hazy light indicates magic and supernatural occurrences, low budget gags have objects moving on their own, flicking lights on and off or knocking over some books indicates an evil presence—these are weak cues and weakly executed. It’s also juuuuust a bit raunchy even though there wasn’t any nudity.
Christmas music and holiday themes decorate this cheap quirky film and I’m left wondering why since none of the story or concepts actually relate to Christmas—unless this is a far reach analogous to the “Murdered Ghost of Christmas Past.” But in the third act this theme is completely absent, and that certainly says something about the filmmaking.
The blood and gore start out so weak you’d want to stop the film, but it does amp up to grosser and sillier levels that should conjure a few giggles. Especially the “self-murder” scene and the evil diminutive cephalopod-like creatures—just plain B-movie delight. Also watch out for the toxic waste melty face scene, which produced the online images that lured me into watching this film at all.
There’s really nothing redeeming in this film. It smacks just a little bit of The Sentinel (1977) in delivery and The Changeling (1980) in premise, but brings not even remote honor to either. I’d skip this and let it be forgotten in the VHS video vaults of pawn shops and basement storage.
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