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Which Fast and the Furious Movie is the Most Fast and Furious?

May 21, 2020
Dom was the best in the first film.

I love the Fast & Furious franchise, and I can still clearly remember nearly blowing up my four-cylinder Dodge Shadow while driving home after watching The Fast and the Furious in 2001 (it wasn’t a 10-second car). Ever since that slightly fast & furious night in which I watched some Corona loving street racers attempt to steal DVD players, I’ve enjoyed watching the franchise evolve into a globe-trotting blockbuster series that’s grossed billions at the worldwide box office.

In honor of Fast 9’s original release date (May 22, 2020), I decided to see which Fast movie is the most Fast & Furious. Basically, I wanted to know which of the Fast films has the most races, fights, NOS, corona, BBQ, property destruction, gratuitous party shots, and mentions of family. I rewatched the movies and recorded an insane amount of stats, and used insanely detailed articles from Bloomberg (excellent resource – whoever did this is excellent – stats hold up when I rewatched the films and compared data) and Insure the Gap to score 23 categories (Thanks again Bloomberg).

  1. Racing time
  2. NOS usage
  3. Is there a BBQ? – Fun article about why the Furious 6 BBQ is the best
  4. Fastest finale (cars driving fast)
  5. Best Fight
  6. Engine Revving Time
  7. Time spent talking about cars
  8. Time spent where cars are worked on
  9. Gear shifts
  10. Tachometer/speedometer shots
  11. Explosions
  12. Time a gun is wielded
  13. Hand-to-hand combat time
  14. Time spent riding outside of vehicles
  15. Time spent at social gatherings
  16. Male biceps time
  17. Gratuitous party shot time
  18. Hugs
  19. Mentions of Family and Team
  20. Roll ups with team
  21. Corona consumption
  22. Property destruction
  23. Does a main character die?

I ranked each of the nine installments (1-9) according to where they placed in each category. Or, I gave them a one or a zero for Yes/No questions (Is there is a BBQ it gets a 0). The film that’s the most Fast & Furious has the least amount of points. How did I add up the points? Fast & Furious 6 has 22 mentions of “Family” and “Team,” so it got 1 point. 2 Fast 2 Furious only has one mention of “Team,” so it received 9 points.

Here’s a couple more examples – The Fate of the Furious features billions of dollars of property damage (Nuclear submarine, thousands of cars, that massive facility that’s blown up in the beginning) so it got 1 point. The Fast & the Furious (2001) features a few destroyed cars and some property damage, so it got 9 points.

Tokyo Drift has over 15 minutes of racing so it gets 1 point. Hobbs and Shaw has no “official” races, so it received 9 points.

Here are the results (lowest amount of points wins)

  1. Fast & Furious 6 – 79 points – WINNER!
  2. Furious 7 – 86 points
  3. 2 Fast 2 Furious – 87 points
  4. The Fast and the Furious – 92 points
  5. Fast Five – 99 points
  6. Fast and Furious – 102 points
  7. The Fate of the Furious – 106 points
  8. Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift – 113 points
  9. Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw – 130 points

Why is Fast & Furious 6 the most fast and furious? It never placed last in any category, and it tied 2 Fast 2 Furious and Tokyo Drift with four #1 spots. The film’s numbers remained consistent throughout the categories and won quite easily. I’ve included some videos to show you why it’s the most fast and furious of the franchise.

Family is said 11 times (start at :30 seconds)

There is a BBQ that features Corona

The beginning of the film features Brian and Dom racing to the hospital where Mia is giving birth. Racing AND family

Dom and Letty race

It features the best fight in the franchise. I love when Tyrese and Sung Kang battle Joe Taslim, AND Michelle Rodriguez fights Gina Carano

The ending is insane. The cars drive very fast while chasing an airplane on an insanely long runway. They also say “Ride or Die.”

There are massive explosions

The crew chase a tank on a highway and Dom saves Letty by crashing his car and catching her in the air

Dom and Hobbs work together

Tej and Hobbs buy sweet cars

Roman and Brian have a great bro-mance (3:00 in clip)

Brian beats the crap out of Braga and some prisoners (furious fight)

Dom works on an engine

There’s a classic team meeting

Dom gets shot, then completely forgets about it.

Grappling hooks are aided by NOS (grappling hooks are used a lot in franchise).

Roman is always hungry

There you have it! Fast and Furious 6 is the most fast and furious film of the franchise. It features street races, corona, BBQ, family, planes blowing up, grappling hooks, fist fights and everything that makes a Fast movie great.

John’s Horror Corner: Hell Fest (2018), lame killer and kills yet perfectly entertaining.

May 20, 2020

MY CALL: Lame killer, weak kills, momentary gore… but it’s so much jumpy fun. I guess this was okay. I enjoyed it, but I’ll never revisit it. Despite all the things I wanted that it completely lacked and all the things I felt it should have had, I found myself consistently entertained by the situations, delivery and character dynamics. Not a bad popcorn flick. MORE MOVIES LIKE Hell Fest: Looking for more recreational horror, try Funhouse (1981), Ghoulies 2 (1988), Hell House LLC (2015), Escape Room (2019) and Fantasy Island (2020).

A group of college friends get VIP tickets to a traveling “horror night” amusement park much like if Universal Studios’ Halloween Horror Nights was more amped-up and less family-friendly.

Hoping for a night of jovial flirtations and jumpscares, Brooke (Reign Edwards; The Bold and the Beautiful), Natalie (Amy Forsyth; We Summon the Darkness, A Christmas Horror Story), Taylor (Bex Taylor-Klaus; The Last Witch Hunter, 13 Reasons Why), Gavin (Roby Attal), Quinn (Christian James; Dollface) and Asher (Matt Mercurio; Sleepy Hollow) enter with high expectations. But when Natalie witnesses a scared girl in the funhouse get murdered by a masked killer, the evening’s entertainment turned out to be more than she’d bargained.

The horror takes a while to build its inertia, but that’s typical of the first 30-40 minutes of most horror movies. And, as a pleasant surprise, the first act was quite enjoyable just for watching the main characters whose relationship shenanigans (typically insufferable in horror movies) was actually entertaining. This movie clearly takes its time and hopes we embrace its impishly playful nature on this jumpy journey as our characters navigate one interactive haunted house after another. And fans of the Final Destination franchise (2000-2011) should recognize the voice of the announcer/barker as Tony Todd (Final Destination, Hatchet, Wishmaster).

The death scenes are okay. Nothing special, just okay. Really, some were even boring. A syringe to the eye might have been the least hard-to-watch eye stab I’ve seen. A head gets brutally hammered, yet its existence on screen is fleeting in a blink. It doesn’t linger on screen long enough to be awed or winced upon. As for our villain—credited as The Other (Stephen Conroy)—his presence was definitely menacing, but his disposition and actions were otherwise flat. A boring bad guy with no personality and no good kills in a slasher movie… that’s not good. So clearly, slashers and gore aren’t this movie’s strength. Shenanigans are. And while that may sound like a cheap defense to a goreless flick, the shenanigans are exciting. This is rated-R, but I’d treat this as a solid PG-13 horror; great for beginners (i.e., adult beginners) to the genre who can stand brief brutality.

I didn’t recognize any of these actors, so I had hesitated to see this for a long time. Thankfully, my expectations were happily proven wrong by the acting, photography and general production value of this movie. Director Gregory Plotkin (Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension) did alright. But whereas “fun horror” and likable characters are his clear strengths, the “meaner” gore was basically absent and the story was as basic as they come.

I guess this was okay. I enjoyed it, but I’ll never revisit it. Despite all the things I wanted that it completely lacked and all the things I felt it should have had, I found myself consistently entertained by the situations, delivery and character dynamics. Not a bad popcorn flick.

Final Fights – Episode #8 – Blade vs. Deacon Frost in Blade (1998)

May 19, 2020

Listen to the MFF Final Fights podcast on SpreakerSpotify, Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean or Google Podcasts (or wherever you listen to podcasts)!

Please make sure to rate, review and subscribe!

“Some motherf**kers are always trying to ice-skate uphill.” Blade – 1998

I love the final fight between Blade and Deacon Frost. It’s an epic battle between a famed vampire hunter and a yuppy vampire who recently acquired the powers of a blood demon. The sword fight features classic one-liners, blood explosions and Blade spin kicking a vial of serum into Deacon’s head (it’s awesome). In this episode, we discuss matching henchmen, stunt doubles and the excellence of Wesley Snipes. Enjoy!

The MFF Podcast #273: Days of Thunder, Nascar, and Funky Sunglasses

May 17, 2020

You can download the pod on Apple PodcastsTune In,  Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).

If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!

It’s lap three of our racing series, and this week we’re talking about the 1990 racing film Days of Thunder. Directed by Tony Scott, and starring Tom Cruise, this big budgeted summer blockbuster focuses on a hotshot driver entering the dangerous world of Nascar racing. In this episode, we discuss Cary Elwe’s tiny sunglasses, road rage, and the excellence of Michael Rooker.

Make sure to listen to our Rush and Driven episodes too!

If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the episode!

You can download the pod on Apple PodcastsTune In,  Podbean,or Spreaker.

If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!

Final Fights – Episode 7 – John Matrix vs. Bennett in Commando (1985)

May 16, 2020

Listen to the MFF Final Fights podcast on SpreakerSpotify, Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean or Google Podcasts (or wherever you listen to podcasts)!

The fight between John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Bennett (Vernon Wells) is an oddball brawl that features an intriguing matchup between two completely different combatants. Matrix is a muscular and controlled behemoth, while Bennett is a street brawler who is prone to angry outbursts of aggression (I’ll shoot you between the balls!). Together, they put on an epic fight that concludes with one of the greatest action movie one-liners ever (Let off some steam, Bennett). Sit back, relax, and lisen to us discuss the fight. Enjoy!

John’s Horror Corner: Martyrs (2015), a toothless remake of the 2008 French extreme film.

May 15, 2020

MY CALL: Maybe entertaining, but woefully disappointing to anyone who appreciated Martyrs (2008) in its emotionally gut-punching true glory. MORE MOVIES LIKE Martyrs: Looking for more extreme French cinema? Go for Martyrs (2008), Inside (2007) and Frontiers (2007).

REMAKE/REIMAGINING SIDEBAR: For more horror remakes, I strongly favor the following: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978), An American Werewolf in London (1981), The Thing (1982), The Fly (1986), The Mummy (1999), The Ring (2002), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), The Hills Have Eyes (2006), Friday the 13th (2009), Let Me In (2010), Evil Dead (2013), Carrie (2013), The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014), It (2017), Suspiria (2018) and Child’s Play (2019). Those to avoid include Body Snatchers (1993; the second remake), War of the Worlds (2005), The Invasion (2007; the third remake), Prom Night (2008), Night of the Demons (2009), Sorority Row (2009), Patrick: Evil Awakens (2013), Poltergeist (2015), Cabin Fever (2016), Unhinged (2017) and The Mummy (2017). I’m on the fence about An American Werewolf in Paris (1997), The Grudge (2004), Halloween (2007), It’s Alive (2009), My Bloody Valentine (2009), A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), Fright Night (2011), The Thing (2011; a prequel/remake), Maniac (2012), Rabid (2019) and Pet Sematary (2019), which range from bad to so-so (as remakes) but still are entertaining movies on their own.

From its opening scene (which mirrors the 2008 original), this remake lacks the dire hopeless urgency of its predecessor. After escaping a horrible confinement, a young Lucie is remanded to an orphanage. Lucie’s (Troian Bellisario; Pretty Little Liars) abductors are never found, she suffers horrible nightmares, and she becomes a loner. In need of sympathy, she meets Anna (Bailey Noble; True Blood) and they become fast friends.

Flashforward ten years. A clearly mentally feral Lucie hunts for those who wronged her, Anna tries her best to be Lucie’s keeper, and Lucie is still haunted by her own demons. But as crazy as Lucie may be, Anna comes to learn that she’s actually right about some things.

Lucie’s “personal demon” may be mean and brutal, especially if this is your first experience with Martyrs. But anyone who has seen the original knows what true disturbing horror can be, and this remake doesn’t have it. 2015’s specter is mean for the sake of being mean, but 2008’s nightmare fuel inspired a nigh Lovecraftian madness. As intense as this film may seem, it’s a cheap and shallow rehashing of its source material.

Comparing 2015 (above) to 2008 (below)–these two young ladies had very different experiences with their death cults. And while more gore doesn’t translate into “better”, just trust that the difference in impact of all aspects of these films mirror these images.

Like Lucie’s demon, the torture scenes may shock those unseasoned to the torture porn subgenre or extreme French cinema, but they lacked teeth. The final scenes (which weakly emulated the flaying and grand revelation of 2008), felt like phoned in, watered down reimaginings that fail to earn my reverence. There is no comparison to the extremity or thoughtfulness of the original, through which you earn your awful shock by enduring Lucie’s wrenching journey.

Directors Kevin and Michael Goetz (Scenic Route) generally succeed in replaying the 2008 French film in softened (i.e., Americanized) fashion and, to those who never saw the original, this may even pass as “intense” and “good.” But given how close this is to an exact scene-for-scene remake, I have difficulty judging it on its own merits. 2008 made me wince and grit my teeth and feel so deeply and awfully horribly for the protagonists. This remake did no such thing. By comparison, it was hollow; a frail husk of its model.

The Villainess: An Excellent Action Film That’s Worth a Watch

May 14, 2020
You’ll see some excellent hallway fights

The opening of The Villainess features an insane first-person style brawl that features 52 henchmen getting wiped out by a badass assassin. It’s a wild scene that features four stages of henchmen being stabbed, gutted, shot, slashed and murdered. It’s a gnarly battle that director Jung Byung-gil was able to pull off because of his stunts background, and ability to rally seemingly all of South Korea’s stuntmen. It’s a neat way to start the $5 million budgeted action film, and it lets us know what we’re in for (a whole lot of violence).

It’s tough to write about The Villainess, and not spoil anything, so, I’m just going to say it’s about a woman named Sook-hee (Kim Ok-bin) killing the absolute ever living crap out of many people. The film showcases her journey from killer to trained assassin who endures double crosses, murder attempts and secret missions. The middle of the film dives into melodrama as Sook-hee attempts to live a normal life, however, her short-lived domestic life sets up a killer finale on a runaway bus.

The finale is bonkers.

Jung Byung-gil was inspired by Luc Besson’s La Femme Nikita, and he set out to make an action film that features peerless action that is genderless and never boring. He succeeded, and in an ultimate compliment, Chad Stahelski, the director John Wick: Chapter 3: Parabellum loved the motorcycle scene in The Villainess so much, he included one of his own in John Wick 3.

What I love about The Villainess is how it was able to stretch its $5 million budget. The movie has an epic feel, and it punches above its weight as it treats us to a plethora of inventive action scenes. I wish I could’ve been on set as the creators wrapped their heads around all the insane action scenes. Also, I’d love to see Kim Ok-bin (she’s great in Thirst BTW) kill more people in future installments, and hopefully the success of this film will create more opportunities for female-led South Korean action films.

The Villainess is currently streaming on Hulu. Check it out!

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