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Unwelcome (2022) – Movie Review

May 11, 2023

Quick thoughts – Grade – C+ – Directed by Jon Wright (Grabbers) and starring Hannah John-Kamen, Douglas Booth, Colm Meaney, and many murderous goblins, Unwelcome is an occasionally fun creature feature that feels too disjointed to fully recommend. 

Fueled by his love of Grimm tales, and fantastical elements, director Jon Wright set about creating an adult fairy tale that focuses on a young couple Maya (Hannah John-Kamen) and Jamie (Douglas Booth) moving to rural Ireland after Jamie’s great-aunt leaves them an idyllic property, which on any other occasion might be considered a forever home. The move comes at a perfect time as Maya is pregnant and both she and Jamie are dealing with the aftermath of a violent home invasion that left them wanting to be anywhere but their London apartment. Since it’s a creature feature called Unwelcome, things quickly go south for the couple as they are forced to battle bullish builders and gleefully violent goblins called Redcaps who dip their hats in the blood of their victims .After a very shaky start, everything leads to a mostly satisfying conclusion that involves cheeky goblins, eyeball gouges, and more cheeky goblins.

Wright wanted to create an experience  that didn’t solely focus on blood explosions and intestines pouring out of stomachs (there is some of that in this movie though), so he thought back to his youth and remembered how his grandfather believed in fairies, and when he learned about the Redcap goblins, a group of menacing maniacs who delight in chaos and have zero remorse when they stab their victims to death with their tiny knives. From there, he wrote a Gremlins meets Straw Dogs story about a “very urban, liberal couple getting back in touch with their primal, animal selves.” It’s a good idea, and sounds nice on paper, but in Wright’s quest to create an otherworldly magical vibe in the Irish countryside, he instead created a movie that feels artificial because of the reliance on a soundstage shoot and a house that never feels real. Part of this is because of Covid which most likely forced the crew to build sets inside soundstages to keep down on travel and not be hindered by the necessary precautions that come with shooting on location. 

It’s neat that production designer John Beard built double-height sets which allowed real actors (dressed as goblins) to enter the house and walk into actual rooms. But, the house and lighting choices never feel authentically atmospheric and it took me out of the movie because it felt so inauthentic. I know the goal was to create a dreamy atmosphere, but in their quest to look like Legend, they made everything look too much like a movie lit by very powerful lights. 

The biggest problem with Unwelcome are the tonal shifts which creates several movies that don’t quite gel. The first hour is a suspense thriller that leans more heavily on the villainy of the Whelan family played by Colm Meaney, Jamie-Lee O’Donnell, Kristian Nairn, and Chris Walley. The Whelan’s are a family of builders who rely on bully tactics and general BS as they fix up Maya and Jamie’s home (and also steal their delicious snacks). The movie becomes more interesting when the Redcaps spring into action because they inject some lunacy into the proceedings and their anarchic behavior feels like a breath of fresh air. It’s fun watching them deliver a plastic bag that is home to a severed head, and it’s a delight watching their Gremlins-esque behavior unfold as they battle the Whelans, Jamie and Maya. 

In the Blu-ray extras, Wright talks about how he loves recent horror movies like Get Out, Hereditary and It Follows. The difference between Unwelcome and these films is that Unwelcome doesn’t know exactly what it wants to be and that hurts the final product. Wright’s previous film Grabbers works beautifully because it’s about people getting drunk so they can battle deadly aliens. It’s a simple premise and that allows the characters to shine. In Unwelcome the characters are dealing with pregnancy, PTSD, bullying, male expectations, fairy tales, paranoia, and deadly goblins. It’s a lot, and because of that it never really works as a whole.

Final thoughts – I love the Redcaps, and think there’s a lot to like about Unwelcome. But, it doesn’t totally work despite Wright’s best intentions to create a film driven by characters and feelings. 

John’s Horror Corner: Body Melt (1993), this ultra-schlocky, ultra-bad, Australian horror comedy is basically an ultra-forgettable Aussie Troma film.

May 9, 2023

MY CALL: Images on social media will make this movie look amazing. But it’s really just forgettable, even if not regrettable. Still, some fun to be had for fans of ultra-cheesy B-movie fare. MORE MOVIES LIKE Body Melt: (1996). Things like Street Trash (1987) and Slime City (1988) spring to mind for obvious, melty, cheesy reasons.

An Australian vitamin company produces a variety of contaminated products that cause bizarre hallucinations, extreme glandular issues, and eventual flesh and organ melting. Basically Resident Evils Umbrella Corporation but with spastic melty people instead of viral rage zombies and mutant monstrosities.

This flick is pure schlock. We open with full frontal nudity, needle drug use, and some green glowing Re-Animator (1985) serum. Detergent-chugging antics remind me the corny likes of Class of Nuke’em High (1986), after which the victim is sort of finished off and killed by vine-like tentacles that emerge from his own throat wounds. Peppering additional Troma seasoning into the stew are the inbred semi-mutant redneck scenes.

Director Philip Brophy’s lone feature horror film is complete absurd lunacy equally lacking in budget and vision—not that there isn’t fun to be had here. The acting, writing and production all have the strong feel of a Troma movie; very rough, unprofessional, silly, and likely done in one clunky take per scene. The hallucinations induced by the contaminated products are as incoherent as the rest of the movie, which was apparently originally intended as an anthology movie (which I can actually see). The only real element that develops is the gore, with the deaths getting bigger and grosser. But between the gore gags, the exposition scenes are painfully incompetent and readily forgettable. Most of the memorable parts of the film are, not surprisingly, limited to the last 30 minutes—but the screen stills you see online are generally better than the scenes themselves.

The gory birth scene and the animated killer placenta harken the shenanigans of both Re-Animator (1985) and Dead Alive (1992). Another victim has a sloppily split-open face a la Night of the Creeps (1986), and others suffer cheaply yet goopily executed melting faces. All very gross. Even if only for the novelty of it, the giant tongue scene was probably my favorite visual.

Screen grabs viewed on social media will make this movie seem like an amazing must-see. Ultimately, this ultra schlocky, ultra bad schlockfest was really just ultra-forgettable, even if not regrettable. And that’s a shame since this was high on my watch list for a long while.

The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 494: Serendipity, Romantic Comedies, and John Cusack

May 8, 2023

You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).

If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.

Mark and Niall (@elniallo on Twitter) discuss the 2001 romantic comedy Serendipity. Directed by Peter Chelsom, and starring Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Jeremy Piven, and an absurd amount of fate, the movie focuses on what happens when two people really don’t want to be with their significant others. In this episode, they also talk about romantic comedy rules, fake snow, and really nice gifts. Enjoy!

If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!

You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.

John’s Horror Corner: Dead & Buried (1981), this genre-bending movie is a well-made classic with a great story.

May 7, 2023

MY CALL: If you enjoy solid writing, acting, direction and story to go with your gory 80s horror, then you should turn to this alternative undead thriller. Well-made in every aspect considerable, from start to finish. It also ages rather well despite being over 40 years old. MORE MOVIES LIKE Dead & Buried: For more dead and back again movies of the era, try Hellraiser (1987), The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988), The Thing (1982), Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) or Planet of the Vampires (1965).

We open with gorgeous rocky beach cinematography in the Pacific northwest as a vacationing photographer meets a pretty girl (Lisa Blount; Prince of Darkness, Nightflyers, Needful Things) on the beach. A fantasy-like sequence fit to open an adult movie, they have a flirty exchange with perfect chemistry and begin an impromptu photo shoot which quickly escalates to direct seduction. But just when things are about to get really mature, the photographer is ambushed by local townsfolk using the woman as a diversion. They brutally beat him, tie him to a post and immolate him while calmly watching, taking photos of the whole process and politely “welcoming” him to Potter’s Bluff. They are as cold as ‘pod people.’

Investigating the crime scene of the horribly charred victim, Sheriff Gillis (James Farentino) quickly has several murder investigations in his tiny Pacific town. The local mortician (Jack Albertson;Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory) has an ego and fancies himself an artist critical for the preservation of fond memories. He jousts an occasionally contentious relationship with Gillis, and his dealings with the deceased become increasingly integral to the plot.

This movie is unlike most of its ilk, which may depict a lawman trying to solve strange murders or some mystery only to eventually discover it was his very neighbors and locals (including Robert Englund; Killer Tongue, A Nightmare on Elm StreetGalaxy of TerrorHatchet IIThe Phantom of the Opera) as part of some cult enacting the horrible crimes. No, this movie plays the opposite angle. More murders transpire with the movie blatantly showing us the local townsfolk enacting, photographing, or witnessing these murders of remotely located victims. And then the movie shows us those formerly dead victims alive and well again, but assuming the role of townsfolk like they had always been there. So herein, the mystery is less about what is happening and who is doing it, but more about how and why it is happening. But until we find out, the townsfolk continue to target every visitor or hapless passerby to their quaint little town, sparing not even a child. And all the while we as viewers always seem to be at least one step ahead of the sheriff.

The special effects are pretty good! The initial burn victim looked charbroiled with patches of bare, moist, skinless tissue. We also enjoy a good face-smashing with a rock, an oozy acid face-melting death, and while not a visceral sensation, the on-screen fisherman’s harpoon slashes of another death is at the very least acceptable. There’s also a brief but satisfying syringe death scene when a nurse stabs a man in the eye! But much more telling of what’s actually going on in the movie, a victim tears a clump of hair and scalp from an assailant exposing a gory patch whence it was torn; and the sheriff finds a severed arm moving on its own! So clearly are we dealing with zombies, voodoo, the Devil, or maybe a Re-Animator (1985) scenario, right? Well, the movie forces you to be patient.

Director Gary Sherman (Death Line, Poltergeist III) has served genre fans and connoisseurs of the classic so very well with this film. This is no cheap, throwaway story to pass the time between death scenes. I’d call this a solidly decent overall movie as well as a classic horror which does some unusual genre-bending for its time. The mystery unfolds at a steady rate, the pacing is engaging throughout, and the closing revelations are satisfying and well-executed. I was so pleasantly surprised as I revisited this film. I hope you are, too.

The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 493: The Batman & Robin Soundtrack, Ice Puns, and Joel Schumacher

May 5, 2023

You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).

If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.

Mark and Billy Patterson (@billyapatterson on Twitter)) talk about the soundtrack for the 1997 superhero sequel Batman & Robin. Loaded with hits from The Smashing Pumpkins, Jewel, Bone Thug-N-Harmony, Goo Goo Dolls. R.E.M., R. Kelly, and Eric Benét, this certified platinum soundtrack has a much better reputation than the actual film. In this episode, they also discuss 1990’s soundtracks, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and rushed sequels. Enjoy!

If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!

You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.

John’s Horror Corner: Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror (1998), Eva Mendes goes on a horrible college road trip in this horrible horror sequel.

April 30, 2023

MY CALL: This movie is… not good. There’s worse out there among the 90s video-era horror ether. But this movie royally fails its franchise as the worst sequel yet and it has no vital connection to any of its predecessors. MORE MOVIES LIKE Children of the Corn V: Children of the Corn (1984) spawned many video-era sequels over the years (1992, 1995, 1996, 1998, 1999, 2001, 2011, 2018) leading to the most recent remake (2020). Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992) was dumber but funner, and Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (1995) seems to follow this yet dumber and yet wildly funner pattern to delightful “bad movie hidden gem” perfection. It’s not totally awful, but I’d skip Children of the Corn IV: The Gathering (1996).

TIMELINE: CotC 1 ended with the cornfields of Gatlin burning with the defeat of an ancient Corn God. Then CotC 2 transpired in the week following Vicky and Bert’s escape from the Gatlin. In CotC 2, the evil is defeated with the death of possessed Micah. Similar to CotC 2, CotC 3 ends when Eli and his corn Bible are destroyed. However, Eli’s backstory predates and overlaps Isaac’s, thus defying the franchise storyline. But that doesn’t matter since CotC 4 likewise ignored all of its predecessors, ending with the weakest ‘big bad’ demise of them all.

This sequel begins with all of the mind-numbing gracelessness of a later Leprechaun sequel (like parts 4-6) when a boy wanders up to a green fire in the middle of a cornfield, in the middle of the night, and is possessed by the spirit within the flames with no explanation whatsoever. The boy sizzles a nearby farmer’s skin to a Freddy Krueger over-easy and summons all the other recently possessed kids armed with farm tools to gang-murder the farmer’s wife. The scene is executed about as well as it was written. Sooooo… not awesome. But, I guess, amusing nonetheless.

Following CotC 1, CotC 5 gives its possessed cult of murderous kids a diminutive leader Ezeekial (AdamWylie; Return to Sleepaway Camp; Species: The Awakening). Unfortunately, the writing is about the worst of the franchise to date. So he just comes off as an insidious kid telling other insidious kids to kill people of at least voting age. Strangely, there are a surprising number of adults left to live their lives in the nearest town who are well aware of the homicidal kids. Somewhere around CotC 3, the movies began to focus less on eradicating adults and more on the blight of evil kids resurrecting their prophesied leader or conjuring the Corn Devil or something. A moderate pivot from the norm, this CotC sequel brings us the “adult” prophet Luke (David Carradine; Waxwork II, Evil Toons, The Warrior and the Sorceress).

Having wandered into the wrong cornfields on their road trip, college co-eds Allison (Stacy Galina), Greg (Alexis Arquette; Bride of Chucky), Kir (Eva Mendes; Urban Legends: Final Cut), Tyrus (Greg Vaughan; Poison Ivy: The New Seduction), Charlotte (Angela Jones) and Lazlo (Ahmet Zappa) will all likely find their demise to an ancient elder CGI Corn Lord’s disciples. The first two death scenes feature many swings of a sickle and ax with none of them making contact on screen. Yup, it’s gonna’ be one of those movies.

Now numbering only four (left alive), the remaining co-eds crash their car, learn about a farm run by adopted religious fanatics who worship “He who walks behind the rows,” and are ordered to leave town by Sheriff Skaggs (Fred Williamson; From Dusk Till Dawn, VFW). It’s so contrived—a completely forgettable piece of 90s video-era horror that makes me miss Children of the Corn IV: The Gathering (1996), which I now regard as only the second worst CotC movie. And the worst scene in this worst sequel may just be Eva Mendes leaping into a green CGI fire with no build up or consequence whatsoever.

Director Ethan Wiley (House II) brings us the most boring of the CotC movie so far. After two ho-hum death scenes, basically nothing happens beyond cultivated boredom until the prophet Luke’s head gory-chunky splits open a la The Thing (1982) and blasts a whole through the sheriff’s head—and if that reads like it makes no sense, it makes no more sense when you see it happen. It’s a pretty wild moment. But that moment is the least sucky thing about this movie, which is really poorly made with respect to the franchise. The deaths are largely lame and the action is clumsy. Even the brief Kane Hodder cameo feels devoid of any satisfaction other than to say to yourself “oh, yeah, that’s Kane Hodder.”

Like Josiah in CotC IV, Ezeekial never feels like a real threat—even less so than burnt-zombie Josiah. This sequel ends when the lamest of all CotC evil kid leaders (Ezeekial) is cast into a silo fire in an extremely unsatisfying finale. He yelps, he falls into the fire, the movie ends, stupid throwaway twist ending. That’s it. Would not recommend this to anyone.

This seems to have no direct link to the original movie. And maybe things are better this way. I truly regretted this movie.

The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 492 – John Wick: Chapter 4, Scott Adkins, and Staircase Fights

April 28, 2023

You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).

If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.

Mark and DJ Valentine (@TryingToBeDJV on Twitter) discuss the 2023 action epic John Wick: Chapter 4. Directed by Chad Stahleski, and starring Keanu Reeves, Donnie Yen, Scott Adkins, Marko Zarar and about 40 other really cool actors, the movie focuses on what happens when dumb/brave/greedy people attempt to stop John Wick from achieving his goal of annihilating the High Table. In this episode, they also talk about Scott Adkins, kitchen fights, and the excellence of Keanu Reeves. Enjoy!

If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!

You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.

The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 491: Prey, Amber Midthunder, and Mud Pits

April 23, 2023

You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).

If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.

Mark and Megan discuss the 2022 action-horror film Prey. Directed by Dan Trachtenberg, and starring Amber Midthunder, Dakota Beavers, Dane DiLiegro, and an unlucky bear, the movie focuses on what happens when a Yautja hunter picks the wrong group of people to mess with. In this episode, they also talk about mud pits, Predator films, and how much they love the show Legion (which featured Midthunder beating up many people). Enjoy!

If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!

You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.

The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 490: The Gentlemen, Bespoke Suits, and Guy Ritchie

April 17, 2023

You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).

If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.

Mark, Erik and Marcos discuss the 2019 film The Gentlemen. Directed by Guy Ritchie, and starring Matthew McConaughey, Colin Farrell, Charlie Hunnam, Hugh Grant, Michelle Dockerie and about 40 other excellent actors, the movie is loaded with well-written monologues, bespoke suits, and some fun twists and turns. In this episode, they also talk about menacing Matthew McConaughey, super cheese, and the filmography of Guy Ritchie. Enjoy!

If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!

You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.

MFF Data – Vin Diesel and His Sleeveless Shirts

April 16, 2023

Vin Diesel loves sleeveless shirts. He wore sleeveless shirts while bouncing, and if you check out his 1995 New York Toy Fair clips, or his 1995 short film Multi-Facial, you’ll see that long before he was rocking TWO sleeveless shirts at the same time in F9, he was all about the sleeveless life.

While watching F9 for another research assignment, I started wondering whether the amount of sleeveless shirts, or screen time in which Diesel wears a sleeveless shirt affect the overall quality of the movie. Thus, I went through all of his live-action films where he appears on screen (sorry Groot), pulled the minutes of sleeveless screen time, counted the shirts, and broke down the data to see if there is an optimal amount of sleeveless t-shirt wearing that Vin should adopt. Having done this before with Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, and jet ski action scenes I felt certain that I could mine his filmography and present some incredibly random and unimportant data that might make you chuckle a bit while you read this.

Quick Note – Since I’m not a total maniac I didn’t sit there with a stopwatch and count every second of his screen time. I count the scenes that he’s in where he could appear on screen at any time. For instance, this scene in Fast Five when he’s talking to Brian and Mia about putting a team together. The toughest film to crack was Pitch Black. Diesel’s character Riddick wears a sleeveless shirt during the duration of the film. However, he isn’t always around so I only counted scenes where his presence is felt and or he could pop up at any moment.

Also, I didn’t count the scenes where he’s wearing a sleeveless t-shirt underneath a shirt. The arms had to be out for the world to see.

He’s technically wearing a sleeveless shirt, but there’s a shirt covering it. No arms = No inclusion

Fun Vin Numbers, Facts and stats

  • Overall Tomatometer Average – 47%
  • Overall Rotten Tomatoes User Score – 64%
  • IMDb User Score Average – 6.38
  • Worldwide Box Office Average – $335.5 million
  • # of Fresh Movies (Tomatometer score of 60% or more) – 8 – Saving Private Ryan, Boiler Room, Find Me Guilty, Fast Five, Fast & Furious 6, Furious 7, The Fate of the Furious, F9
  • If you’re interested in listening to me talk about how all the data came together, check out the podcast episode I recorded about my quest. You can listen to the Movies, Films and Flix podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.

Fun Vin, Sleeveless Shirt Facts and Stats

  • He wears a sleeveless shirt in 16 of his 23 films.
  • He averages 1.95 sleeveless shirts per film
  • Percentage of Screen Time In Which He Wears a Sleeveless Shirt On Screen – 18.67%
  • Total Minutes Spent Wearing Sleeveless Shirts – 503 minutes
  • Average Amount of Minutes He Wears a Sleeveless Shirt in All of His Films – 21.89 minutes
  • He wears a white tank top in 11 of his films
  • The seven movies that feature him wearing a black shirt with no sleeves have the highest Tomatometer average with a Fresh 62% score.
  • The five movies that feature him wearing a gray button up shirt with no sleeves have the highest worldwide box office average – $808 million
  • The seven movies that feature him wearing a black tank top have the highest IMDb User Score Average with a average score of 6.45 (not bad)
  • When it comes to the amount of sleeveless t-shirts worn in a Vin Diesel movie, four is the best number in regards to box office and critical/audience scores.

Quick Note – In Fast & Furious 6, Diesel wears a white tank top and a black tank top. I counted this as two sleeveless shirts despite the fact that there are three scenes in which he wears sleeveless shirts (2 white / 1 black). I was looking for overall sleeveless shirt variation, not scenes involving sleeveless shirts.

r/movies - In honor of Vin Diesel wearing 3 different sleeveless shirts in the Fast X trailer, I scoured his films, noting every sleeveless shirt & time spent in them. When he wears 4 sleeveless shirts & spends 14-15% of the films running time in them, the films make more money and have higher …

Here’s a look at Vin’s sleeveless T-Shirt Timeline Since 1997

r/movies - In honor of Vin Diesel wearing 3 different sleeveless shirts in the Fast X trailer, I scoured his films, noting every sleeveless shirt & time spent in them. When he wears 4 sleeveless shirts & spends 14-15% of the films running time in them, the films make more money and have higher …

Can anything be figured out about his career by the number of different sleeveless shirts he wears in his films?

  • 0 – Between Saving Private Ryan, The Pacifier, The Last Witch Hunter, and Billy Lyn’s Long Halftime Walk , Vin doesn’t play a villain or anti-hero – which is interesting because he mostly plays villains or anti-heroes. Also, in Boiler Room and Find Me Guilty he takes part in white-collar crime and general criminal shenanigans (not world exploding action). Also, 5 of the 7 take place between 1998 and 2007, and Billy Lyn’s was released almost six years again. He rarely goes sleeveless, and not lately.
  • 1 – It’s been 10 years since Vin Diesel only wore one sleeveless shirt in a movie, and he went out with a bang with Fast & Furious 6 (the most fast and furious of the franchise). It’s worth noting that his foray into gritty cop dramas and gangster films saw him wearing only one sleeveless shirt. Also, Pitch Black and Riddick, the two movies that feature the most sleeveless shirt wearing of all his movies only involve one sleeveless shirt.
  • 2 – Early Vin was all about two sleeveless shirts. Between The Fast and the FuriousxXx, and The Chronicles of Riddick, he was all about the double. I’m thinking Chronicles of Riddick halted the momentum.
  • 3 – I love this fact – Vin Diesel wears three sleeveless shirts in Fast and Furious and Fast Five which are the two Fast movies that transitioned The Fast & Furious world from movies about racing and cars, to movies that blow up lots of cars while they are racing away from nuclear submarines.
  • 4 – Diesel has only worn four shirts in two movies, those two movies both made over a billion at the worldwide box office. Furious 7 and The Fate of the Furious made bank.
  • 5 – It makes me happy that Vin’s movies are bookended by movies (Strays, F9) that feature him wearing five sleeveless shirts. Also, between xXx: Return of Xander Cage, Bloodshot, and F9: The Fast Saga, the dude has gone sleeveless t-shirt crazy

Here are some fun stats

Average Amount of Sleeveless Shirts He Wears in his Fresh (Tomatometer Score Above 60%) and Rotten (Tomatometer Score Below 60%)

  • Fresh – 2.14
  • Rotten – 1.92

Average Percentage of Screen Time in Which Vin is Wearing a Sleeveless Shirt in His Fresh and Rotten Films

  • Fresh – 11.29% – This is partly down to Saving Private Ryan (0%), Boiler Room (0%), and Fast & Furious 6 (6.15%) featuring very little sleeveless t-shirt work.
  • Rotten – 22.61% – This is high because in the Riddick Trilogy there is a lot of sleeveless shirt work. Riddick hates sleeves.
r/movies - In honor of Vin Diesel wearing 3 different sleeveless shirts in the Fast X trailer, I scoured his films, noting every sleeveless shirt & time spent in them. When he wears 4 sleeveless shirts & spends 14-15% of the films running time in them, the films make more money and have higher …

Quick Note – I counted every scene involving sleeveless shirt wearing towards the percentage.

Average Amount of Sleeveless Shirts He Wears in His Movies That Have Made More Than $500 Million at the Worldwide Box Office

  • More than $500 million – 3.14 – Furious 7 ($1.5 billion) and The Fate of the Furious ($1.23 billion) feature him wearing 4 different sleeveless shirts in each film. Dom loves a variation.
  • Less than $500 million – 1.35
r/movies - In honor of Vin Diesel wearing 3 different sleeveless shirts in the Fast X trailer, I scoured his films, noting every sleeveless shirt & time spent in them. When he wears 4 sleeveless shirts & spends 14-15% of the films running time in them, the films make more money and have higher …
r/movies - In honor of Vin Diesel wearing 3 different sleeveless shirts in the Fast X trailer, I scoured his films, noting every sleeveless shirt & time spent in them. When he wears 4 sleeveless shirts & spends 14-15% of the films running time in them, the films make more money and have higher …

Conclusion – When it comes to a critical and box office sweet spot, the best option for Vin is to wear 3-4 different sleeveless shirts and he needs to wear a black shirt with no sleeves and a button up gray shirt that also has no sleeves. If he does this, a huge box office is sure to follow, and the movie has a chance of being Fresh.

Also, despite the fact that he wears four different sleeveless shirts, the sleeveless screen time needs to be limited. This is why Furious 7 and The Fate of the Furious work so well, because they’re like “Alright Vin, you get your sleeveless shirts, BUT, you gotta wear some sleeved shirts as well.”

More sleeveless shirt variation + limited screen time dedicated to them = $$$$$$$

Proof of all the shirts with sleeves that Dom wears in F7 and F8

r/movies - In honor of Vin Diesel wearing 3 different sleeveless shirts in the Fast X trailer, I scoured his films, noting every sleeveless shirt & time spent in them. When he wears 4 sleeveless shirts & spends 14-15% of the films running time in them, the films make more money and have higher …

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