John’s Horror Corner: The Unseen (2017; aka Amaurosis), a British thriller about blindness, grief and unseen menace.
MY CALL: This film sews tropes of both horror and thriller at first, leaving us curious as to where we’re being led. Overall, I’d say this is not for horror fans, but for fans of crime or mystery-driven thrillers; perhaps viewers who generally dislike horror but desire a little more edge to their intrigue.
Disclaimer: Screener access was provided by the filmmaker. However, I was not paid or compensated to write this nor were there any conditions to my receiving viewing access other than my solicited review.
After the tragic accidental death of their son, Gemma (Jasmine Hyde; Good Omens) and Will (Richard Flood; Shameless, Crossing Lines) have lost their ability to function normally. They succumb to bereft bouts of rage, visions of intense guilt, and Gemma suffers unpredictable episodes of amaurosis—a sort of panic-induced blindness.
Using the audience-POV during amaurosis episodes is anxious at first, and develops into seat-clutching stress when its timing is most dangerous. But even more unnerving is Will’s rage and claims of hearing their son calling from his room… at which point we are tempted to wonder if either both grieving parents are experiencing their own very different and very extreme delusions, or if there is an external (supernatural) force at work.
The convenient kindness of a pharmacist (Simon Cotton; Among the Shadows)—who initially helped Gemma during a blindness episode—offers the opportunity for Gemma and Will to escape their lives to his lake house estate to ease their minds and their recovery. As the story unfolds we are led into unexpected territory.
Written and directed by Gary Sinyor (The Bachelor)—better known for his comedies—this British film walks a tightrope balancing thriller and horror-based tropes while never strongly delivering the expectations of either. While interesting, it’s difficult for me to recommend this to fans of horror. I fear such fans won’t find the “horror” they desire.
The performances, dialogue, direction and production value are all top notch—although the story develops into a stew that doesn’t fancy my taste… which would involve more murderous intent (e.g., The Hand that Rocks the Cradle, Fatal Attraction, The Stepfather) or heavier twists. But still, the film is clearly well-made, sharply acted and the photography was simply excellent.
Unfortunately, despite being interesting (even if slow), it never truly embraces its own potential darkness. For such heavy content, the execution feels tame, the pacing is slow and the reveals are… well, sort of boring (especially as the blindness filter becomes overused). At least, boring for a horror fan. Instead I’d suggest this for fans of crime or mystery-driven thrillers; perhaps viewers who generally dislike horror but desire a little more edge to their intrigue.
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The MFF podcast is back, and this week we’re talking about the 1993 rollerblading (and hockey) movie Airborne. Many of you might slightly remember Airborne because it features Jack Black and Seth Green rollerblading down a massive hill called “The Devil’s Backbone” during the epic finale. The final race is pretty great, whereas the rest of the movie does its best to get to the race as quickly as possible. In this podcast, you will hear us talking about Alita: Battle Angel, big moogombas, and spaghetti chili. If you are a fan of Airborne, you will love this episode.
Seth Green was everywhere in the 1990s. Dude crushed it.
If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
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Bad Movie Tuesday: Witchcraft II: The Temptress (1989), just boring, boobs and bloodless.
MY CALL: Like part 1, only witchcraft could compel me to watch this movie again. There are bad movies (that are fun to watch), and then there are just plain awful movies. But hey, at least it’s better than part 1, right?
Well good for this sequel. It opens with incantation, alliteration and gross ingredients as the spell components for some manner of witchcraft are combined to transform an older experienced witch into a younger-looking seductress. Armed with a potion of bewitched blood, she comes for her target and in just one scene, that already matches (or even exceeds) the witchcraft I recall from the previous movie Witchcraft (1988).
Now all grown up after being rescued as an infant in part 1, teenager Will (Charles Solomon Jr.; Witchcraft III-IV) finds our recently transformed and provocatively wardrobed witch Dolores (Delia Sheppard; Rocky V, Dinocroc vs Supergator, Sexbomb)—actually this is the witch from part 1 disguised in a younger more attractive form to lure Satan’s yet uncorrupted heir to evil using the power of seduction.
When you think of 80s horror films what pops in your head first? Gore, cheap jump scares and gratuitous nudity, right? You’ll find only one of these things here: nudity. And from what I glean on IMDB, that will become a theme in subsequent sequels.
Dolores delivers a mysterious magical box (which will unleash zero special effects) and cleans her rain gutters dressed like a hooker. The sexuality is far from subtle. Released just one year after its lame predecessor, director Mark Woods (his only feature film, not surprisingly, and only a year after making a Playboy video) shows off his softcore chops with over-shot sensual scenes and occasional adult film dialogue. The sex scenes with Will’s girlfriend Michelle (Mia M. Ruiz; Demon Wind) are probably more raunchy than the era mandates.
Back when I reviewed Witchcraft (1988) in early 2012, I was mortified to learn there were 12 sequels building up to Witchcraft 13: Blood of the Chosen (2008). Well, good news if you love this drivel! Because now I’ve discovered they made it all the way to Witchcraft 16: Hollywood Coven (2016). So fans of the franchise can sit back and watch as the Witchcraft series pelts out over a dozen TnA-driven sequels! But, if we’re being fair, part 1 had no nudity and this 1989 sequel was nothing I’d call a “smutty” film even if the sex scene was more graphic than most 80s horror.
This movie is WAY better than part 1, not that this means it’s “good.” But the acting is less wooden, the writing isn’t as annoying… it’s a bit more of what you’d expect from a lousy 80s horror you never heard of, I guess. The most noticeable fault of this craptastic flick is that none of its budget went to death scenes, blood and gore, or “magical” special effects. At one point Dolores breaks a horny teen’s neck and it couldn’t have been more boring. Even a throwaway scene of her uttering some incomprehensible spell making someone cough up blood, tremble and die would be an improvement.
As the movie progresses Will is tempted here and there, he learns of his devil-touched family history, there’s a little more nudity and not enough blood, and it fails to build to anything meaningful. Even if not as bad (but still pretty bad), this was every bit as forgettable as its predecessor. Even Blood Gnome (2004) was better than this.
Witch Movie SIDEBAR: Some excellent witch movies that actually feel like witch movies include Warlock (1989), Warlock 2: The Armageddon (1993), The Witch (2016; podcast discussion) and The Witches of Eastwick (1987). Beautiful Creatures (2013) and The Woods (2006) may appeal to young adult audiences. But I would sooner direct you to Hocus Pocus (1993), The Witches (1990) and The Craft (1996). I’m leaving Harry Potter out of this discussion, by the way. Fantasy sorcery (Willow, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice) and wizardry (The Lord of the Rings) is to be considered its own thing entirely. The campy The Kiss (1988), Spellbinder (1988), Necromancer (1988), Necropolis (1987) and Cherry Tree (2015) are entertaining but bad. And speaking of campy, Superstition (1982) and The Haunting of Morella (1990) are allegedly witch movies but don’t feel like it. But even if you want a bad movie, definitely skip Witchcraft (1988) and all sequels.
The dark noir Lord of Illusions (1995) is intriguingly edgy and, while more a “magic movie” than a “witch movie,” it hits a lot of the same dark arcane notes. And, of course, The Blair Witch Project (1999) and Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000) were awesomely stylized in their own unique ways despite never actually showing us a witch—at least, not until Blair Witch (2016).
Check out Pumpkinhead (1988) for a great depiction of a witch, though it’s not a “witch movie.” Meanwhile Deadtime Stories (1986) and The Theater Bizarre (2011) features a pretty cool witch short story, and The Pit and the Pendulum (1991) addresses witch trials.
Witches can come in so many flavors, can’t they? Lords of Salem (2013), Mother of Tears (2007), Suspiria (1977) and Suspiria (2018) deal with witches’ spirits and covens in the form of dark ritual and possession. Quite the opposite, Snow White and the Huntsman (2012), The Last Witch Hunter (2015; podcast discussion) and Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013) offer action and effects-driven popcorn fun—Season of the Witch (2011) attempted this, but failed miserably. But the witch from The Brothers Grimm (2005) was pretty cool.
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The MFF podcast is back, and this week we’re talking about the 2019 mega-blockbuster Avengers: Endgame. We love how the Russo Brothers did a fantastic job tying together 11 years and 22 films worth of Marvel shenanigans into one massively emotional package. We had a great time getting into all the spoilers and easter eggs featured in this three-hour epic. In this podcast, you will hear us talk about peanut butter sandwiches, tacos, beef jerky, beer, pizza, cheeseburgers and ice cream (food plays a major part in Endgame). If you are a fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and food discussions, you will love this episode.
So many heroes….
If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
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MY CALL: This multi-layered metamovie mockumentary was unexpectedly good, thoughtfully written and sincerely acted. Overall a big win for me. More like this please! MORE MOVIES LIKE Butterfly Kisses: For more mockumentary-esque for docu-gone-wrong horror I’d strongly recommend The Last Exorcism (2010) and Grave Encounters (2011). I’d also suggest Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000) and Scream 1-4 (1996-2011).
This film’s opening had me fearful I was in for another The Bye Bye Man (2017) as we view footage from a film student’s (Rachel Armiger) senior thesis. She fears she’ll soon be dead because she doesn’t know how much longer she can go “without blinking” as I roll my eyes and the video ends. Then we abruptly cut from this found footage to the more congenial docu-style introduction to our investigative filmmaker protagonist Gavin (Seth Adam Kallick). He finds a box labeled “don’t watch” and waxes cheekily “isn’t that how all good horror movies start?” And what’s on the tapes? The raw, unedited footage of the film student’s project.
In both the film student’s footage and the Gavin’s documentary about that footage, candidly presented witness and expert testimonials cultivate endearing asides explaining the back story, history and rules of The Peeping Tom—a deadly folklore entity. But the student’s recordings cannot be easily connected to many real people (e.g., the ophthalmologist), bringing into question the legitimacy of the film student’s work… and the subsequently Gavin’s work as well. So Gavin is now investigating whether the now-dead student was fabricating or telling the truth that she saw The Peeping Tom, as Gavin’s critics wonder the same of him.
During Gavin’s frustrating journey, this film explores what the notion of “found footage” really implies down to questions of testing validity or proof of manipulation (or lack thereof). In a Crash Palace Productions interview (The Last Knock podcast) with director Erik Kristopher Myers (Roulette), it was explained that this is to found footage movies what Scream (1996) was to the slasher subgenre. I couldn’t agree more!
For a film I hadn’t heard of by a director I didn’t know about, this turned out to be quite a treat. Everything struck me as thoughtfully executed. There is almost no blood, one or two jumpy moments, and briefly-viewed disturbing imagery… but it was all more than enough. This film works through the gravity of the filmmaker, the actors’ performances (especially Seth Adam Kallick) and the excellent direction and editing.
Found footage gets a bad rap because the filming style lends itself to sloppy filmmaking and abysmal budgets. And with little required effort, a few films with poor writing and direction behind them can paint the subgenre’s canvas with crap. Even if you’ve never heard of this film until now, you really ought to just go watch it regardless of your opinion on found footage. This film is the very life preserver that the oft-scoffed subgenre needed!
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The MFF Podcast #191: Jumper
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The MFF podcast is back, and this week we’re talking about the 2008 superhero movie Jumper. The movie made $222 million worldwide, but was hated by critics who didn’t like director Doug Liman’s take on the superhero genre. We are big fans of the movie, and appreciate how Liman dragged the production to seven countries in an attempt to make the world feel real by going to actual locations in Italy, Japan and Egypt. In this podcast, you will hear us talk about jump faces, bank robberies and the best Samuel L. Jackson villain roles. If you are a fan of Jumper, you will love this episode.
Sam Jackson loves appearing in superhero movies.
If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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MY CALL: This anthology should be watched even if only to see the Spiderwoman segment, which is by far the best of the lot. But overall, you’ll feel the TV-ness in the rigid acting, low budget and hokey acting.
MORE HORROR ANTHOLOGIES: Dead of Night (1945), Black Sabbath (1963), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), The Uncanny (1977), Creepshow (1982), Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983), Stephen King’s Cat’s Eye (1985), Deadtime Stories (1986), Creepshow 2 (1987), After Midnight (1989), Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990), Two Evil Eyes (1990), Grimm Prairie Tales (1990), The Willies (1990), Necronomicon: Book of the Dead (1993), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Campfire Tales (1997), 3 Extremes (2004), Creepshow 3 (2006), Trick ‘r Treat (2007), Chillerama (2011), Little Deaths (2011), V/H/S (2012), The Theater Bizarre (2012), The ABCs of Death (2013), V/H/S 2 (2013), The Profane Exhibit (2013), The ABCs of Death 2 (2014), V/H/S Viral (2014), Southbound (2015), Tales of Halloween (2015), A Christmas Horror Story (2015), The ABCs of Death 2.5 (2016), Holidays (2016), Terrified (2017; aka Aterrados, which is a pseudo-anthology), Oats Studios, Vol. 1 (2017), Ghost Stories (2017), XX (2017) and The Field Guide to Evil (2018).
Despite their estimable repute, directors Norio Tsuruta (Ringu 0, Premonition), Kôji Shiraishi (Noroi: The Curse, Ju-Rei: The Uncanny), Takashi Shimizu (Ju-on 1-2, The Grudge 1-2, Flight 7500), Masayuki Ochiai (Shutter, Ju-on: The Final Curse) and Yoshihiro Nakamura (Lizard Baby, The Booth) join forces to create something largely mediocre (and that’s if I’m being generous). Mediocre… but perfectly passable considering this was a made-for-TV movie.
Like any multi-filmmaker anthology (e.g., V/H/S, The Field Guide to Evil, The ABCs of Death), the quality of the five stories vary wildly. I’d consider the first two segments (Spiderwoman and Crevices) the most amusing, with the following three more typical of lower quality Twilight Zone episodes—you know, more the so-so revivals (1985-1989, 2002-2003) not the awesome original series (1959-1964). Journeying through this anthology we’ll find human-spider-hybrids, giant spectral heads, typical Grudge ghosts, black magic, light twists and “hair” demons—with little of it landing well boasting hardly any gore and only mildly disturbing imagery.
From its outset it is painfully obvious that this is a TV movie down to the hokey acting, clunky storytelling and low budget effects—which are charmingly bad when an eight-(human)-limbed woman is seen crawling on the wall. Spiderwoman is fun… you’ll laugh like you’re enjoying a solid B-movie. The face of the hybrid spider-woman is much more passable than the dated CGI. But then we return to the incredibly hokey storytelling… man sees spider-woman, looks down and is wrapped up in web, looks back up and spider-woman is still down the hall. Very cheesy. Reminds me of Nickelodeon’s Are You Afraid of the Dark (1990-2000) in the kindest way.
After the disappearance of his tenant, a landlord contacts the tenant’s old friend in Crevices. Every border of every door, window and drawer in the apartment has been obsessively sealed shut with red electrical tape—much as in Pulse (2006). Long-nailed ghostly limbs reach from unseen nooks and crannies. This little vignette carries on playfully and is more to the point than the contrived (but more entertainingly silly) Spiderwoman segment.
Things take a turn to boredom with The Sacrifice as a woman is cursed by her amorous co-worker. Although I enjoyed the imagery of the gigantic disembodied head, it wasn’t enough to forgive this story. And even less tolerable was Blonde Kwaidan, featuring a Japanese man obsessed with blondes visiting Hollywood to find a most unpleasant blonde surprise. Lame.
The final segment feels most classically like The Twilight Zone. A dishonest businessman and husband finds a deserving fate in Presentiment when trapped in an elevator with three mysterious people.
Again, for a TV movie this was… meh… I guess okay. But I do want more people to enjoy Spiderwoman. So for that alone I’ll give this a soft recommendation for the adventurous short film or anthology fans out there.
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The Adam Sandler Shampoo and Conditioner Invitational is down the the final eight movies!
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Just Go With It pulled off the only upset in the first round. We still can’t believe it defeated Big Daddy, but, we also still can’t believe Dave Matthews picked up a coconut with his butt in Just Go With It (really weird moment). If The Wedding Singer can get past The Waterboy, we’re thinking it has a clear path to the final. The other bracket isn’t so easy to predict. Happy Gilmore is the frontrunner, but will nostalgia push either Billy Madison or 50 First Dates through? Vote and let’s find out!
Come back in a couple days to vote again! Thanks for your vote!
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The MFF Podcast #190: Airheads
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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The MFF podcast is back, and this week we’re talking about the 1994 comedy Airheads. It was a weird experience watching it again after about 20 years since the last viewing, because, the movie is a 1990’s time capsule featuring “before they were huge” actors such as Brendan Fraser, Steve Buscemi, Adam Sandler and Chris Farley. In this podcast, you will hear us talk about cottage cheese, The Counting Crows and a plethora of insults. If you are a fan of Airheads, you will love this podcast.
We love the cast.
If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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With Avengers: Endgame opening up this week we decided to do some counter-programming by featuring an Adam Sandler movie tournament. We narrowed down the field to 16 Adam Sandler comedies (no Punch Drunk Love..it’s too good) on our Facebook page, and can’t wait to see who you think should win. We ranked the movies according to their Tomatometer scores, and think the bracket will bring forth some tough matchups. Will Happy Gilmore win? Can Billy Madison pull off an upset? Will people come to their senses and realize You Don’t Mess With the Zohan is really funny.
Let’s get it started! let’s get the ridiculous 16 down to eight crazy movies. Come back on the 27th to vote for the second round!
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Let us know who you think should win in the comments!
Movies, Films & Flix 