John’s Horror Corner: Krampus (2015), a dark Christmas-themed fantasy film by Michael Dougherty, the man behind Trick ‘r Treat and the upcoming Trick ‘r Treat 2.
MY CALL: This was a really fun movie experience. Not at all scary, hardly even jumpy, and with minimal gore…yet very funny (in the first act), thoroughly entertaining and perpetually delivered with a dark, tongue-in-cheek atmosphere. The ending is equal parts awesome, appropriate and predictable—but most importantly, the ending suits this dark holiday fairy tell perfectly. MOVIES LIKE Krampus: For more holiday horrors try Gremlins (1984), Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010), Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984), Black Christmas (2006) and Black Christmas (1974).
Ever since Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) I’ve been waiting for the next great holiday horror movie. Rare Exports was pretty good and I consider it a very special holiday horror fantasy that holds a place in my heart, but it didn’t quite live up to the two short films (“Rare Exports, Inc.” (2003) and “Rare Exports: The Official Safety Instructions” (2005)) that generated all the hype leading to its creation. But there is hope yet!!! Michael Dougherty—the brilliant mind that wrote and directed the much celebrated Halloween horror anthology Trick ‘r Treat (2007) and is working on the upcoming Trick ‘r Treat 2—has returned to bring us the twisted cautionary Christmas fairy tale of Krampus… (TRAILER HERE)
Krampus opens with an all-too-familiar but appreciated social commentary of our long forgotten family values. Sharing, forgiveness, love and togetherness have been cast aside in lieu of rude comments, sharp-tongued jabs and obligatory gatherings. The film doesn’t take itself too seriously in the beginning, which is good—great, in fact—as the introductory act is littered with holiday humor, including chaotic shopping scenes illustrative of our materialistic oblivion and crotchety family members clashing with one another. There’s drinking to take the edge off dealing with family, unwanted relatives you can’t stand yet didn’t want to leave alone, children fighting, in-laws bickering, adult siblings competing and judging each other’s family values. Needless to say, this will satisfy more sarcastic fans.
The plot is simple. A boy who loses faith in his family inadvertently creates a terrifying holiday by summoning the Christmas demon Krampus. Our monster’s victims boasts an impressive cast, including Adam Scott (Hellraiser: Bloodline, Piranha 3D), Toni Collette (Fright Night, The Sixth Sense), David Koechner (Final Destination 5, Cheap Thrills) and Conchata Ferrell (Edward Scissorhands, Two and a Half Men)—all of whom with a fair share of horror and comedy experience.
Writer/director Doughertys’s Trick ‘r Treat was an impressively nuanced Halloween anthology with diverse effects and expertly interwoven stories. The movie blew away my expectations and left me hopeful that Dougherty has just as lovingly and patiently architected Krampus. Well, Trick ‘r Treat fans should be quite pleased with Krampus, which likewise features a good diversity of Christmas-esque monsters presented in tongue-in-cheek scenarios. I may not have been overly pleased with the elves or the baby angel doll, but the Jack in the Box and teddy bear monsters were absolutely delightful, the Krampus itself was pretty damn cool, and the gingerbread men had to be my favorite!
To my disappointment, the humor from the first act hardly transitioned through the rest of the story. However, as it becomes increasingly obvious that something is amiss, witty exchanges are abandoned for darker scenes such as harrowing snowmen mysteriously appearing in the front yard, a dire chase with Krampus leaping across rooftops (all CGI, but very exciting), and the harbingering of toys and wrapped presents that offer us an eager but dark anticipation.
Budget limitations were apparent with inexplicably “masked” elves and the completely stationary Krampus face—like, he had a single frozen, open-mouthed facial expression. That said, the elves still adopted an effective Gremlins-like menace and the Krampus monster still looked awesome. And, again, I must say how much I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED the scenes with the Jack in the Box monster and those gloriously fiendish gingerbread men!
This was a really fun movie experience. Not at all scary, hardly even jumpy, and with minimal gore…yet very funny (in the first act), thoroughly entertaining and perpetually delivered with a dark, tongue-in-cheek atmosphere. The ending is equal parts awesome, appropriate and predictable—but most importantly, the ending suits this dark holiday fairy tell perfectly.
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Brooklyn is one of my favorite films of 2015 because of its adherence to adding depth to a small story. Brooklyn is layered with three-dimensional characters, fantastic writing and tons of warmth. I respected its usage of nice characters who simply get by and do the best they can. I guarantee Brooklyn will make you feel all the feels and I hope that Saoirse Ronan wins an Oscar for her mature and confident work.
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Brooklyn tells the story of am Irish immigrant named Eilis making her way in 1950’s New York City. There was no work for her in Ireland so her sister secured her a visa and she made the big move. The initial homesickness leads to love and a tragedy finds her back in Ireland where she finds new opportunities. I was amazed at how it kept defying expectations and finding ways to make me laugh and surprised. I love that the characters feel real and they are allowed to show not tell us their emotions. For instance, there is a massive transformation in Eilis but it is so subtle and nuanced many will miss it. Eilis grows as a character and eventually learns what she wants and begins to make her own decisions. She will never say “I’m grown up now,” you just see it. It doesn’t hurt Ronan has great chemistry with whoever she acts with.
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Screenwriter Nick Hornby (About a Boy, Fever Pitch) is one of my favorite writers and I love how he adapted Colm Toibin’s 2009 book. The core romance is a true odd coupling but both actors are so good you can’t help but wish the best for them. When she finds herself back in Ireland you are conflicted and hoping she finally makes up her mind and does what is best for her. Director John Crowley does something that I absolutely love. Much like in this years Me and Earl and the Dying Girl the actors are allowed to act and the camera lingers on their faces and they thrive in their roles.
There are little moments that are beautifully subtle. I love the dinner scenes at Eilis’s boarding house because they highlight characters that are normally underwritten and cliche. The women are all supportive and aside from a curly haired weirdo they all have a great chemistry. Normally, you’d have a bunch of archetypes going through the motions but here every conversation and interaction is fun and surprising.
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Julie Walters steals the show as the owner of the boarding house that Eilse stays in. Everything that comes out of Mrs. Kehoe’s mouth is pure gold and I love how she is tough but kind. She is like the majority of the characters in Brooklyn. The characters are alive and the movie appeals to everyone.
What I love most about Brooklyn is that is doesn’t pander or attempt to go huge. It understands that if the performances are good and the script is right people will be into it. There are some melodramatic moments but they feel earned and the final shot will put a massive smile on your face.
Watch Brooklyn. You will love it.
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Squid Lake: An Oral History of the Florida Filmed Classic
Hello all. Mark here!
I love the Sharkdropper podcast and recently they had an incredibly bizarre episode that featured an interview with the crew of the Florida filmed movie Squid Lake (Listen to it now! It is glorious). It featured crying, alcohol consumption and I’m pretty certain something really bad was going to happen afterwards. However, I loved listening to the pod so I found the crew members and talked to them about Squid Lake.
The following post is an oral history of the film Squid Lake. It only screened one time at a tiny theater (which I was at) and has since become a word of mouth legend. Before I get into the post I wanted to briefly introduce you to a movie that has been burnt in my memory for years.
I remember walking out of the Conch Shell Cinema on St. Petersburg beach and seeing a poster that would change my life. The poster was a badly photoshopped picture of a lake with an ink blot in it. It was so bad I had to take a picture.
My curiosity was piqued so I stopped by the ticket counter to see what the movie was about. I talked to the manager and he told me the movie was sold out. However, if I helped promote the film he would give me a ticket. I agreed and he gave me some flyers to hand out.
“Squid Lake tells the terryifing (sic) tale of a squid attacking the denizens of a small town located next to the great lakes.”
The night of the screening was insane. The theaters third largest auditorium was sold out (200 seats) and the the following 75 minutes might have been the weirdest experience of my life. The drunk crowd went insane for the film and they clapped, fought and laughed their way through the entire film. It was a scary atmosphere and when the movie ended the raucous crowd carried out the star of the film on their shoulders and the ensuing after party ended up on the news due to several store fronts and cars being destroyed. I had never seen a reaction like that to any film and the experience opened my eyes to what bad cinema can do.
Here is the crew I was able to locate.
Steve Balsawood – Actor
Debra Winters – Production Designer
Hank Cleveland – Actor/Prop Master
Mason Jar – Beach Theater Manager
Chuck Finley – Cameraman/props/grip/electric/craft services/transportation.
Steve Balsawood – I was working at a gas station when a man walked in and loitered around the store for about an hour. When he finally walked up to the counter he told me he no money to buy the items he picked but he would give me a role in his film If I paid for them. I agreed because I had nothing better going on and he quickly added several more items to his tally.
Hank Cleveland – I remember this guy comes pulling up to the swimming pool store I worked at and he asked me if I owned a house and had a pool. It was a forward question but I figured he was a customer looking for advice. I said “yes” and he told me I could act in his film if the production could use my house. He said he would pay me $700 at the completion of the film and that I would be a star. I had always wanted to act so I was pumped.
Debra – I recently graduated from online film school and was screening my thesis film about Albanian refugees at the St. Petersburg Conch Shell Cinema. The screening was a success and I was approached by a man who wanted me to design his film. I was already accepted into an internship in LA and had the summer free so I figured some set experience would be nice. He gave me $35 dollars and told me I needed to develop a squid and underwater scene. He then took $10 out of the $35 and told me to meet at the Burg laundromat on Thursday. He then dumped loads of free mints into his bag and walked away.
Chuck Finley – I was friends with Debra at the online film school and she asked if I could go with her to see if this movie was actually legit. I had some reservations but I was so deep in debt from my thesis film about World War 2 ninjas I figured I needed anything for my reel. Also, please stop by worldninjas.fundme.com to help me recoup my loses.
Debra – I was a little worried about bringing Chuck onto the production because he was a real loose cannon and had an almost out of control drug problem. He was a nightmare in the online classes but he helped me edit my film. I didn’t want to go alone to meet Lenny so I figured at the very least Chuck would protect me.
Steve Balsawood – I met the crew at the laundromat and Lenny explained to us that he loved The Room and wanted to make a bad movie that would become a cult classic. He said there was no script or money but he had a pretty good idea of what he wanted. He said we would shoot on weekends and told me I would have to fight a squid, possibly have a love scene and deliver an Academy award winning monologue.
Debra Winger– Lenny once again took $5 out of the $25 I had left and told me I needed a squid to be ready by the following Saturday. The $20 I had was a joke so I took some old PVC pipes and made a cone out of them. I then put a sheet over it and cut out some paper eyes and the squid was born. I knew it was shit but I had to spend the money on making the underwater scene.
The infamous squid.
Chuck Finley – I can’t really explain what Lenny looked like because I was having a lot of personal problems at the time. I do remember that he said nobody would notice that we were going to use the Gulf of Mexico in lieu of a lake. I asked why we didn’t call it “Sea Squid” and he literally stared silently at me for several minutes. He broke the silence by asking me if he could use my cameras and that I could use all the footage later on for my reel. I then asked how the squid could’ve made it into the great lakes. He drew me this picture while staring at me the entire time.
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The first scene took place at Hank Cleveland’s rented house that had a swimming pool.
Steve – The first scene involved me and my girlfriend about to have sex. However, Lenny couldn’t find a woman so it was just me in a raft, in a swimming pool yelling at my girlfriend that I needed to finish my beer before I had sex.
Debra – Setting up the shot was a nightmare because Lenny wanted the camera to be directly above Steve. So, Chuck had to hang from the waterslide while Hank held his feet. I had no money for Squid appendages so I used Hank’s fun noodles that he had next to his pool. Lenny told me it had to be a surprise when I hit Steve. He wanted the reaction to be authentic.
Steve – I remember I was almost done reciting my line “Hold up broad, I’m drinking here” when I see a fast moving noodle in the corner of my eye.
Debra – I didn’t mean to hit him in the eye but the noodles are very unwieldy and I had only previously used them to float around in the ocean.
Chuck – The noodle hit Steve in the eye and he screamed out “Holy shit” and threw his beer bottle in the air. The beer bottle hit Hank in the face and he let go of my leg while yelling “you son of bitch!”. I slid down the slide and my camera hit Hank directly in the nose. Luckily, Debra was able to catch my belt on the way down but the camera lens cracked on Steve’s head. I was one day into the shoot and was already down $1,000 because of the lens and fact that I had to buy all the snacks and beer.
Debra – The shot actually looks kinda cool because it was real blood gushing from Steve’s nose.
Hank – I remember Steve crawling out of the pool and running away. It pissed me off because he got a ton of blood in my house and had hit me in the face with that bottle.
Steve – I was drunk while filming the scene because of all the beer Steve bought. I’m not proud that I ran away from the house but it just felt right.
Sidenote: The scene features zero editing and you can hear Hank in the background yelling “you son of a bitch!” I remember wondering if the blood was real. It was.
With the first week of filming completed the next scene involved Steve fighting a squid underwater. Instead of shooting underwater, Hank’s garage was used instead, This provided an interesting problem for Debra.
Steve Balsawood – The direction for the scene was that I was underwater and the squid was attacking me. Hank was still giving me crap for the beer bottle throw so I couldn’t wait to punch him in the face.
Debra – I bought $20 worth of saran wrap and hung it from the ceiling to make it look like it was underwater. I also drew, cut and pasted several fish onto the plastic wrap. It looked terrible.
The terrible props added to the charm of the film. Thank you Debra for the photos.
Steve – The set was all saran wrap but Lenny loved it. He was very excited about the bed sheet squid and gathered us around to talk about the squid fight. He told us “it needs to be primal and brutal and that Hank and I should not hesitate to throw haymakers at one another. That sounded good to me.
Debra – I gave Hank a helmet to wear under the costume because Steve had a weird look in his eye.
Hank – I tried wearing the helmet but I couldn’t see anything under the sheet. So I decided to not wear it.
Chuck – The fight got off to a rocky start because Hank was inside a bed sheet and could only maneuver his noodle arms like a rower in a ship.
Hank – So I’m rowing my arms trying to hit Steve and Lenny is yelling that we aren’t giving it our all. I accidentally tripped on the sheet and ended up headbutting Steve. That pissed him off so swung a haymaker at me.
Steve – My fist went clean through the sheet and knocked Hank out. He dropped to the floor and Lenny was screaming “keep fighting! Keep fighting!” So, I jumped on top of the squid and crushed the PVC pipe. I then started rolling around on the ground with Hank. I was really floundering so I started slapping Hank to wake him up.
Hank – I don’t know if you’ve ever been knocked out but it is really startling when you wake up. Steve was slapping my face and I was completely surrounded by a dirty sheet and pointy PVC pipes. I kinda went crazy and started swinging and screaming.
Chuck – I’m holding the camera in amazement as Steve and Hank are rolling around on the ground swinging and screaming at each other. Eventually, the massive amounts of saran wrap fell on them and got intertwined between them. It got to the point to where Steve couldn’t move and Hank landed about 40 unanswered hammer punches to the top of Steve’s head.
Steve – I figured the fight would be fair if I let him hit me a bunch of times.
Chuck – It got really brutal but I didn’t want to cut because I felt like they needed to resolve their issues.
Hank – I eventually calmed down and heard Lenny yell “cut!” I ripped off the sheet and saw Steve laying on the ground with a massive black eye and blood streaming from his nose. I guess I blacked out.
Debra – The tension was palpable and it was amazing. I was watching a train wreck and I thought that just maybe this movie could be bad enough to be good.
In the version I saw in the theater the fight lasts nine minutes and features two men rolling around on the ground and screaming obscenities at each other. Steve slaps an unconscious Hank for 90 seconds while taunting him. When Hank wakes up and starts screaming it becomes an animalistic battle between two men who have no idea how to fight. It is uncomfortable yet very watchable. It is never explained why there is a man inside the squid.
Debra – The following Saturday the crew (sans Steve) and I borrowed my dad’s boat and cruised around the ocean and shot about 45 minutes worth of ocean B-roll. I had no clue what the plan was but I remember Lenny saying we needed to film a moment with Steve’s character.
Chuck – Steve wasn’t there so Lenny told me to stand at the front of the boat while Debra filmed me staring at the ocean.
Hank – From what I can remember Chuck had to stand around acting like he was thinking for about ten minutes.
Chuck – It got really uncomfortable on that boat because I had to stare into the sun and think. I had just gotten off a pretty gnarly bender because I do my best drinking during the week. I was definetly dehydrated and was still feeling the effects of whatever I took the night before. The water was really choppy and I was already feeling sick so about five minutes in I started throwing up.
Quick note: During the screening a ten minute song sung by Lenny (?) plays over Chuck staring at the ocean (lake). The music even plays over Chuck’s vomiting which was oddly left in the final film. Also, it is never explained who this puking character is. Here are the some the lyrics that I found in my notes.
Life of the ocean
Squid on the shore
Breathing the lake air
I hope that squid won’t kill more
I don’t know where I am
Or what I wish
My legs can’t stand on water
I hope I don’t land on a fish
Sidenote: The best shot of the entire film is a nice moment involving some Dolphins swimming by the boat. I talked to Chuck and he has no recollection of ever filming this.
The big set piece of the film takes place on a boat and features Steve delivering a show stopping monologue that defeats the squid.
Steve – The big shot of the film was a two page monologue in which I never saw the two pages for. On the day we went to a dock located on a canal and Lenny told me this was my Oscar moment. He handed a napkin that had dialogue written on it and told me to learn it in a half an hour. I didn’t read any of it.
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Debra – Lenny told Hank and I that we were going to be standing on either side of Steve and hit him with fun noodles while he monologues. I guess Steve making a final stand against the squid and was standing tall in the face of attack. Hank was still pretty angry at Steve and it all went downhill from there.
Chuck – Imagine this. A poor guy with obvious problems is standing there reciting an intense monologue while fun noodles are repeatedly hitting him in the nuts and face.
Hank – It wasn’t cool of me but I was still mad about the fight from the previous week. So, Instead of hitting him in the body I hit him about 50 times in the balls.
Steve – When you watch the footage you can actually see me crying. I am not acting, I am actually crying. Also, the last half of that speech I totally made up because my body went into shock.
Chuck – He was crying and driveling on about how the squid never paid him attention and how nobody respected him.
Steve – The whole process brought back some terrible memories.
Debra – When the moment was over everybody was at a loss for words. I was pretty pissed at Hank and poor Steve literally jumped into the canal and swam away.
Chuck – Lenny Loved it. If you listen closely you can hear him laughing constantly and yelling “good, good, people love this stuff!”
Sidenote: I could’ve sworn I heard him yelling this during the scene.
With the film finished Debra brought the final product to theater manager Mason Jar. Mason was the manager of the Conch Shell Cinema and was working on how to compete with the larger theater chains.
Mason – We were a tiny theater that only had three screens. We basically only stayed alive because of out midnight shows featuring Rocky Horror, The Room, Birdemic and Dirty Hofmeyer. You can take a look below and you will see the type of movies our clientele loved.
Mason – When Debra approached me about screening the film I was very excited. I knew her from my semester at the online film school and I trusted her when she told me Squid Lake was pure gold. Anytime I get a chance to screen a terrible movie I jump all over it. I was guaranteed to sell out the theater and keep the doors open for another couple months which was good because I was also living in the theater at the same time.
Steve – Mason was making a huge deal about the screening and I was a little worried about hundreds of people watching me cry and get beat up.
Hank – I really didn’t want to go to the screening because the entire filming process was pretty miserable. However, I wanted to watch Steve get beat up on screen.
Chuck – I couldn’t wait for the screening. I actually set up a booth the day of and tried to sell my World War 2 Samurai Epic beforehand. Please visit http://www.worldninjas.fundme.com
The night of the screening was full of mixed emotions. The 75 minute film featured 40 minutes of ocean footage, a ten minute song and some of the worst cinema known to man. The rowdy crowd was like a rollercoaster of menace and laughter. He was unbeknownst to me at the time but Chuck was working the crowd into a frenzy. The one scene that brought the house down was when actor Steve Balsawood managed to mutter his way through a five minute monologue while repeatedly being struck in the face and nuts. The scene got the audience laughing, then gasping and back to laughing.
Steve – I couldn’t believe the applause the crowd gave me after the screening. I begged for them to carry me out of the theater and they literally didn’t put me down for two hours.
Chuck – The party afterwards got out of hand. I broke my ankle jumping off of a bar roof and eventually we destroyed several store fronts and cars.
Mason – I went looking for Lenny after the show and he was nowhere to be found. He took the DVD, the DVD player and my print of Animal House and vanished.
Debra – We have no clue where he went and what he is going to do with the movie.
Steve – The filming wrecked me emotionally and physically. However, since the screening I’ve been performing a stage reenactment of the film once a month in front of sold out crowds. People have tried to recreate it on film but nothing comes close to what we filmed years ago.
In conclusion.
I have no clue what happened to Lenny and the Squid Lake footage. However, the experience of watching the film with a packed theater is one of the highlights of my young life. I’m hoping this post gets the word out and the movie finally sees the light of day. If you are out there Lenny please let the world watch Squid Lake!
Check out the Sharkdropper podcast featuring an interview with the cast and crew!
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The Revenant: The Most Ambitious Film of 2015
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The Revenant is a sweeping story of revenge, tragedy and chaos. It plays like The Grey met The New World and teamed up with Blood Meridian and Gravity. The book adaptation is a bonkers tale of survival that features some of the most beautiful images of 2015. After watching the film you understand why we’ve heard countless stories about the difficulty of the nine month shoot. You feel the cold and the crew must have been miserable when creating this spectacle. I guarantee that aside from Mad Max: Fury Road, The Revenant is the most ambitious piece of film making of 2015.
Nobody had to “act” cold in The Revenant.
What makes The Revenant stand apart from other films are its focus on show stopping moments. You get the feeling it was built around a few key scenes and after reading what director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu had to say I understand why. In an interview with Deadline Inarritu talked about his style of filming.
“It was planned this way, to be little-by-little jewel moments; that’s the way I designed the production. That was both to create intensity in this moments, as well as the climate conditions. We are shooting in such remote far-away locations that, by the time we arrive and have to return, we have already spent 40% of the day. But those locations are so gorgeous and so powerful, they look like they have never been touched by a human being, and that’s what I needed. The light is very reduced here in winter, and we are not shooting with any electrical lighting, just natural light. And every single scene is so difficult — emotionally, technically. I’ve gotten myself in trouble again, but I’m trying my best,”
This may sound crazy but the focus on “jewel moments” took away from the flow of the movie. Every moment is perfectly filmed and the barren locations aide the danger but I have a feeling that Inarritu let the film get away from him. I feel like Innaritu wanted to do his best Terrence Malick and still provide the big action beats. I am not saying that The Revenant is a disappointment. It is incredibly ambitious and captures ugliness surrounded by beautiful vistas. However, in its desire to showboat the narrative becomes disjointed and not entirely organic. There are movies with disjointed narratives that are absolute classics. Movies like Apocalypse Now, The New World, The Assassination of Jessie James by the Coward Robert Ford, The Wild Bunch and the book Blood Meridian don’t follow ABC structures but they are damn near perfect and feature suitable character moments.
The story revolves around a group of animal trappers who might have the worst job on the planet. The trappers are a rough crew who have exiled themselves in order to make good money for dangerous work. The work is treacherous and they are constantly under attack from an understandably annoyed group of native Americans. After a vicious attack the group is separated and a guide named Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) gets viciously attacked by a bear. The crew try to carry him but with the threat of Indian attack they leave Glass behind with his son and loose canon trapper John Fitzgerald (Tom Hardy). Thing go awry and it becomes a story of revenge and survival.
The actors had to endure nine months of acting in inhospitable climates and you can tell they were all in. There are moments when you are wondering how they didn’t suffer from frostbite or were plagued with disease. Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy, Domhnall Gleeson and Will Poulter are perfectly cast and you have to respect their respect of the insane filming process.
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The buzz around DiCaprio’s performance is warranted and it will be hard for voters to not remember him come awards time. DiCaprio growls, crawls and stumbles around in an exhausting manner. He layers his performance with believable physicality and holds his own against the always intimidating Tom Hardy. Hardy’s Fitzgerald is a force of nature that is equal parts terrible and understandable. He is a person who wants to survive and has seen more violence than any man should. You believe he could survive in the wilderness and has no problem doing whatever he can to live. I was happy to see Domhnall Gleeson featured heavily as an out of his league Captain named Andrew Henry. He wants to do the right thing but doesn’t command the respect of the killers around him.
The Revenant is an incredibly ambitious and powerful film. My only complaint is how disjointed it feels. It wants to be Malick but have its violent cake too. It is the vision of one man and that needs to be respected. However, I found myself comparing it to other films and finding myself taken out of the narrative. The Revenant is a visual marvel that lacks the necessary original character moments to make me become invested in the characters.
I 100% recommend you check it out in the theaters because ambitious and beautifully shot films like this don’t come around very often.
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John’s Horror Corner: Victor Frankenstein (2015), much more than a monster movie but far from a great movie.
MY CALL: Critics may justly tear it apart for its screaming exposition and limp secondary characters, but ultimately I thought this was spectacular popcorn entertainment and the Ratcliffe-McAvoy chemistry is fantastic. MOVIES LIKE Victor Frankenstein: The Bride (1985), Re-Animator (1985) and Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (1994) all offer tellings of monstrous creations whereas Sherlock Holmes (2009) and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012) capture the mass action entertainment appeal and style.
Director Paul McGuigan (Push, Lucky Number Slevin) and writer Max Landis (Chronicle) have both proven their ability to successfully weave stylistically unconventional stories. So imagine how thrilled I was to see them teaming up to retell Mary Shelley’s harrowing tale of hubris, creation, obsession and playing God. But whereas past approaches to the story orbit the notion of reanimating a stitch-work monster and the inevitably ensuing consequences, this story instead focuses more on the journey of “the man” than his monstrous creation and serves perhaps as more of a cautionary prequel to the more familiar story of Frankenstein’s monster.
Rather than simply expounding on the life of Victor Frankenstein (James McAvoy; X-Men: First Class), we have the story presented more from the perspective of a briefly hunchbacked Igor (Daniel Radcliffe; Horns, The Woman in Black). These two share a brilliant, boisterous, aggressive on-screen bromance, which is truly the selling point of the movie. Not the monster, not the creations, not the alchemy…but the exchanges they share; Victor’s monologues of rage and rhapsody, and Igor’s attempts at mitigating reason while getting caught up in the addictive synergy of scientific discovery.
The characters have their emotional ups and downs.
After seeing the trailer, this film probably already looked strangely familiar to everyone—and visually scintillating. It didn’t quite grasp the grandiose Sherlock Holmesian atmospheric scale…but it got hold of just enough of that splendor to please. You’ll even recognize the identical Holmes/Watson character dynamic as if Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr were meant to read the lines for Sherlock part 3. My opinion was admittedly guarded and dubious at best in the first 20 minutes, unsure of where this was all heading. But I found myself less critical and simply enjoying it more and more as each chapter unfolded before my eyes across impressive cityscapes and mechanized laboratories. This was much more than what some feared might have simply been just “a Frankenstein’s monster” movie with a bigger budget and cast.
Partners in good times and bad.
The downfall of the film is its coarseness. There is zero subtlety. Consider the phrase “if someone has to explain to you that they’re important, then they’re not.” Victor Frankenstein doesn‘t “show us” that he’s obsessed, narcissistic and socially disconnected. No, Victor himself screams it at us with frothy saliva rabidly flaring from his mouth. It’s certainly entertaining and commands attention—you’d literally have to be deaf not to be captivated—but it lacks the satisfaction earned by the careful revelation of nuance and story development; a fine trait completely lacking in this film.
An interesting and unexpected strength of the film was the antagonist, Inspector Turpin (Andrew Scott; Spectre, Sherlock), a deeply pious detective whose drive to halt Victor’s blasphemous experiments were more personal and morally driven than professional; a witch trial would be a good analogy. But again, he “explains” everything about Victor’s God-offending actions not just to the audience, but with Victor’s face knowingly grinning back at him. The Turpin character is performed well, but the writing and direction transmuted him (and all other aspects of the movie) into something too blatant to be considered “great.” There isn’t a laugh, line or even facial expression that isn’t somehow loud.
This cacophonous film was a visual joy that features so-so writing rescued by the Ratcliffe-McAvoy chemistry. Sadly other than Turpin (somewhat), Victor and Igor, all other characters are somewhat forced upon us and feel underwritten. Turpin would have benefited from more development and subtlety; but then, NOTHING about this film is subtle.
Critics may justly tear it apart for its screaming exposition and limp secondary characters, but ultimately I thought this was spectacular entertainment. I really enjoyed it and can’t wait to buy the Blu-Ray.
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The MFF Podcast #38: The Best Fights of Film
You can download the pod on Itunes or head over to BLOGTALKRADIO to stream it. If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
We hope you enjoyed our previous episode: The MFF Podcast #37: Cinematic Trees I Wouldn’t Want in My Front Yard.
SUMMARY: This week the MFF crew discusses some favorite movie fights and how those fights affected the movie, the story and the fans–covering combat from Undisputed 2, Troy, Eastern Promises, Death Warrant, Friday and The Punisher. Additionally, hypothetical movie remakes, The Hobbit cave troll injuries and our favorite non-human characters of 2015 are discussed.
We also answer such important questions as…
“Who are your favorite non-human characters of 2015?”
“Was Death Warrant’s Sandman the stupidest JCVD bad guy ever?”
“Was Spawn made back before filmmakers knew how to do dark superheroes?”
“What fights had the best biggest impact on their movies?”
“What happened to that Cave Troll that had a battering ram on its head in The Battle of the Five Armies?”
You can listen to the pod on BLOGTALKRADIO.
or head over Itunes so you can download, REVIEW, RATE and SHARE the pod.
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I love the podcast How Did This Get Made? It is a bonkers delight that breaks down all that is glorious about really bad movies (I wrote an oral history and recorded a podcast for the fictional film Squid Lake if you are interested). One of my favorite parts of the podcast is its “Second opinion” segment. Paul Scheer reads five star reviews culled from Amazon that praise the bad films and sometimes get very weird. Hearing these reviews (maybe real, maybe fake) got me thinking about what are the audiences favorite HDTGM films. We all know they were mostly critically panned (Face/Off has a 92% rating on RT. What!?!) but I wanted to know what the audience and consumers think about these mostly terrible (a few exceptions) movies.
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If you haven’t listened to their Punisher: Warzone podcast you need to do it now.
The reason I wanted to figure out the peoples’s champ is that I love some of the 120 films they’ve covered. For some reason or another the cheesiness works on me and I will never admit that they are literally bad. I remember being annoyed when Deep Blue Sea was being talked about on HDTGM because I think it the best worst movie ever made. I was working in a theater when it was released and people went insane during the shark attacks. Shakespeare it ain’t but my experiences watching it have made me ignore that it is a bonkers film. When it comes to bad movies everybody has a few they love for some reason. I wanted to know which of these “bad” movies are popular with audiences.
There is no world where a monologuing Sam Jackson getting eaten by a shark is a bad thing.
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In order to figure out the highest audience rated movies I compiled all the films (120), collected user data (Rotten Tomatoes, IMDb, Amazon), and averaged out the scores. The biggest problem were the inclusion of the Fast & Furious films. I get why they are being covered but they are so popular and critically beloved they easily won the day. So, I expanded the lists to show you what takes second place after the Fast films.
If you are interested I also broke down the critical/audience data for the best 21st century horror films and we here at MFF have a podcast of our own! Check it out on Blog Talk Radio and listen to our randomness.
I’ve ranked the films in three categories. I wanted to know three things.
- Top audience rated films according to IMDb, Rotten Tomatoes and Amazon.
- What films have the highest average of five star ratings on Amazon? For Example, Burlesque has 1,532 customer reviews on Amazon. 78% of the reviews are five star reviews.
- The top films according to the average of user ratings and five star averages.
Here are the winners!
Top 15 Audience rated films according to Rotten Tomatoes, IMDb and Amazon.
15. Crank – 71
14. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze – 71.3
13. Hackers -72
12. Twilight Breaking Dawn: Part 2 – 72
11. The Odd Life of Timothy Green – 72.6
10. Safe Haven – 73.3
9. Burlesque – 73.3
8. Demolition Man – 74.3
7. Roadhouse – 74.3
6. Con Air – 76.3
5. The Devil’s Advocate – 80.3
4. Face/Off – 81.3
3. Fast Five -82
2. Furious 7 -82
- Fast & Furious 6 – 82.6 – Any movie featuring the world’s longest runaway and tank destruction can’t be bad.
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Top 15 “Five Star” Averages
15. Over the Top -67%
14. No Holds Barred – 67%
13. Twilight Breaking Dawn: Part One – 68%
12. Ernest Goes to Jail – 68%
11. Rhinestone – 69%
10. Face/Off – 70%
9. Twilight Breaking Dawn: Part 2 – 72%
8. Cool as Ice – 73%
7. Furious 7 -74%
6. Fast Five – 74%
5. The Room – 74%
4. Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor -74%
3. Roadhouse – 75%
2. Furious 6 – 76%
1. Burlesque – 78% – Amazon users love Burlesque!
My biggest problem with this list is Roadhouse should have like 139% five star averages.
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The Top 20 Films according to the average of audience (RT, Amazon, IMDb) and five star reviews.
20. Tango & Cash – 64.5
19. Ernest Goes to Jail – 64.5
18. Over the Top – 65
17. Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part One – 65.5
16. The Odd Life of Timothy Green – 67.5
15. Joyful Noise – 68.5
14. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze – 69.25
13. Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor – 69.75
12. Safe Haven – 70
11. Hackers – 70.5
10. Demolition Man -71
9. Twilight Breaking Dawn: Part 2 – 72
8. Con Air – 73
7. Roadhouse – 74.5
6. Burlesque – 74.5
5. The Devil’s Advocate – 75.5
4. Face/Off – 78.5
3. Furious 7 – 80
2. Fast Five – 80
- Fast & Furious 6 – 81
The Fast movies drove away with the win but it was interesting to see who else made the top 20. I was stoked to see bad Ernest make the list!
Bad Ernest. He’s so hot right now.
The Worst of the Worst – These 10 films have the lowest audience/five star review average.
10. Speed 2: Cruise Control – 36.25
9. Skyline – 35.75
8. I know Who Killed Me – 35.25
7. Tiptoes – 35.25
6. Jaws 4 – 34.5
5. Liz and Dick – 30.5
4. Batman and Robin – 30.25
3. The Wicker Man – 30
2. Gigli – 26.75
- Battlefield Earth – 26.25 – I agree with this.
In case you were wondering here are the top 15 films according to the Rotten Tomatoes critics.
15. Con Air – 54
14. Deep Blue Sea – 56
13. Sharknado 2 – 59
12. Crank – 61
11. Crank 2 – 63
10. Spiderman 3 – 63
9. Demolition Man – 64
8. The Devil’s Advocate – 66
7. Life Force – 67
6. Fast and Furious 6 – 69
5. Fast Five – 78
4. Furious 7 – 81
3. Sharknado – 82
2. Sleepaway Camp – 83
- Face/Off – 92
92! What? Really? I love it. Also, if you haven’t read my post about John Travolta’s villainous smoking I suggest you do it now. You will love it.
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John’s Horror Corner: Night Angel (1990), the pleasantly gory tale of the evil succubus Lilith.
MY CALL: This is campy 80s horror at its best. Gory and sexualized with a diversity of special effects, zany scenes and plot elements that are melodramatically over-explained…this put a 90 minute grin on my face. MOVIES LIKE Night Angel: Want more bewitching women? Try Spellbinder (1988), The Kiss (1988), and more on the smutty exploitative side of things is The Haunting of Morella (1990). For more sultry life-drainers aim for Lifeforce (1985) and Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988). And for more flesh-melding sexuality maybe a little From Beyond (1986) and Society (1989).
Earning the award for “Most Melodramatic and Over-Explanatory Opening Monologue” in the first few minutes, this wacky 80s horror flick was entertaining from start to finish. Make no mistake: this movie is dumb. But it also brimming with 80s charm. Much to the satisfaction of any 80s horror fan, we jump right into a creature effects scene that really isn’t bad at all as a slimy filth-covered woman with monstrous claws pulls herself from the earth. Just to keep things classy, let’s also have a look at her boobs like right away since we’re already 4 minutes deep into the movie and we don’t want anyone to get bored. See what I mean? We’re in for a fun ride with this one!
This movie is loaded with things that are silly. In the middle of the night a guy hears a weird sound outside and it turns out to be a llama in his backyard. What!?!?!? Then we transition to a bloody, murderous and horrendously campy sex scene. But this is just victim number one…let’s get into the meat of the story.
An editor for Siren magazine, our protagonist Craig (Linden Ashby; Mortal Kombat, Prom Night) has nightmares of the murderous sexcapades of the succubus Lilith. Little does he know, his dreams are really happening! Not sure why he was chosen to have these dreams, but he has them nonetheless.
Craig encounters Lilith in the flesh at a party for Siren’s fashion magazine at a club. The overtly sultry Lilith (German soap opera star Isa Jank) licks foaming beer bottles for waaaay too long, turns every man’s head in the house, and embraces every opportunity to take off her clothes and lead men to the sex-driven demise. Why? Because evidently the best way to disseminate Lilith’s lusty evil is by being on the cover of the next issue of Siren. And now Siren magazine executives are dying one by one.
For one random death Lilith basically uses seduction and illusion to lure a man into falling down an elevator shaft to his gory demise. This was an interesting choice. I’m a big fan of the soul-sucking kiss of death techniques from Lifeforce (1985) and Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988). But this was still pleasing enough—a bit on the silly campy side, which suits me just fine. Not that I expect consistency from a movie like this, but later she squeezes her victims’ essence from their heart. These heart rip scenes are reminiscent of the heart removal from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) by the Kali Priest and, coincidently, it is suggested that Lilith was known as Kali among other names in history. She basically plunges her fingers deep into her victim’s chest, grabs their heart, and they slowly die. It’s pretty cool, albeit unoriginal.
But the movie hasn’t slipped off the deep end just yet… cue the surreal party scene with face melding a la From Beyond (1986) and Society (1989), men’s faces on breasts, people being tortured and eaten… oh, right, and Lilith spits evil leech monsters from her mouth like she has one of those Aliens mouth-within-a-mouth deals. Thankfully—just to keep things sane—there’s an elderly voodoo-practicing taxi driver (who’s been stalking Craig babbling nonsense for the last hour) to explain everything: “[Lilith] is Satan’s whore. Lust is her lifeforce. She was Adam’s first wife…before Eve…” Oh, good. NOW it all makes sense. Meanwhile, the Siren office slowly becomes a lecherous domain in which everyone is randy, rape-y, lasciviously sauntering about, and obsessed with worshipping Lilith.
Fans will enjoy finding Doug Jones (Absentia, Love in the Time of Monsters) playing the uber-horny office guy who want to bear Lilith’s children. He provides the comic relief complete with a gangly night club dance scene and he gets a shocking amount of screentime throughout the movie. Also keep an eye out for a brief spot by the diminutive Phil Fondacaro from Ghoulies II (1988) and Meridian (1990).
This turned out to be a pleasantly gory little jaunt. Lilith’s slimy emergence, the infernal body-melding torture orgy party, people getting impaled through the torso, more than one scene with a heart rip life-drain that we get to fully see, and various cuts, slashes and stabs peppered in here and there. Then there’s Lilith’s demonic transformation which we see it in two phases: one with her clawed hand and a hybrid face (heavy latex and make-up), the other just a slime-tastic, oozing Hell beast (full monster suit). She looks like a cool mix of the demons from The Unholy (1988), The Terror Within (1989) and the transformed gargoyle from Lover’s Vow (1990; Tales from the Darkside: The Movie). Lilith’s defeat is lame and abrupt (like most 80s horror endings), but I didn’t let it bother me too much. This movie was FUN!
I’ve gotta’ say this movie surprised me. It’s dumb, but I was thoroughly entertained and I’m a little disappointed this isn’t available on DVD. I’d seriously buy it. Also, given the premise, I expected something smutty or trashy. That really wasn’t the case here. Sure, there’s some nudity (a few women’s worth and easily more than average), but this is not exploitation horror or smut per se. This is just typical 80s horror that happens to have a sexualized story.
Recommended for 80s horror fans.
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2015 CHRISTMAS SHOPPING GUIDE for Movie Fans: Aliens edition
If you’ve ever listened to the Movies, Films and Flix Podcast, then you are well aware of our love for the Alien franchise. And with Christmas right around the corner, we figured some of you listeners and readers might want a hand with some gift ideas. In this article you’ll find several gift ideas ranging from Funko Vinyl Pop Figures, unofficial Lego toys and clothing to various random stocking stuffers like and random toys. Just click the product name and go right to the vendor’s website to view and buy. And no, we don’t get a cut of the sales–we are doing this because we love Alien movies, we love Alien movie fans, and we want to get Alien movie stuff into your hands. So buy from them from the linked vendors or simply search on Amazon. We want to give you ideas and make your gifts matter!
Also check out the CHRISTMAS SHOPPING GUIDE for Movie Fans: Big Trouble in Little China edition.
After all, we understand how frustrating Christmas shopping can be.
So all you fans of the Alien franchise (1979-present) need look no further! If you are a fan yourself or simply need to find a Christmas gift for such a fan we have your shortcut right here…
1. Life Size Xenomorph Egg — complete with its own eerie lighting and life size facehugger! from @NECA_TOYS
2. Carton of 6 Xenomorph Eggs, with Facehuggers from @NECA_TOYS
3. Alien Xenomorph Scalers from @NECA_TOYS
4. Alien Facehugger Plush and Chestburster Lifesize Plush (Set Of 2)
5. Xenomorph Alien Face Hugger Ski Mask from @Etsy
6. Handmade I ❤ Aliens Chestburster Necklace from @Etsy
7. Alien Facehugger Cat Toy from @Etsy
8. Free Facehugger Hugs (Tank Top)
9. Facehugger Glass Straw from @Etsy
10. Kubrick Alien Mini Figure Kane Facehugger Patient and Kubrick Alien Mini Figure
11. Baby Onesie from @Etsy
12. Alien Face Hugger 3D Printed IPhone case from @Etsy
13. Throw Pillows
[You need to visit the website to see the images, but they’re COOL!!! You won’t see it right away on the website…so try clicking on the out-of-view pillow at the top of the screen. I have included the “least” interesting pillow. Search the website, they have at least three totally different designs.]
14. Alien Chopstick Face Hugger
15. Alien Vinyl Figure by Funko
16. Weyland Yutani Corp 2 Tone Hoodie Inspired by Aliens 1986
17. Alien Evolution Egg Facehugger Sci-Fi Movie Cool Art 30×20 Framed Canvas Print
If you found this helpful, please also check out the CHRISTMAS SHOPPING GUIDE for Movie Fans: Big Trouble in Little China edition.
Are the gift ideas forming???
We, here at MFF, hope to have made your Christmas shopping a little easier this year. Stay tuned for more Christmas gift shopping advice…
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John’s Horror Corner: The Pyramid (2014), death by starving feral Sphinx cats and weak Egyptian death Gods.
MY CALL: This is one of those movies that you “hope” will be good, but isn’t. Maybe it wasn’t the worst thing I’ve seen this month either. I won’t recommend it to anyone looking for a good “scary movie” night. But this would make an excellent drinking game or “friends’n’beer” flick. MOVIES LIKE The Pyramid: The Last Exorcism (2010) and Grave Encounters (2011) take similar approaches but find considerably more successful results.
With the same playful and cheeky approach of The Last Exorcism (2010) and Grave Encounters (2011), this film opens like an upbeat documentary about an anthropological expedition that would air on the Discovery or History Channel. A team of scientists aim to excavate and explore a completely buried pyramid whose age predates most Egyptian history, indicating possible extraterrestrial origins for this uniquely three-sided pyramid (others being four-sided) and nods to the SETI program (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence). With one archaeologist being an extraterrestrial skeptic and his daughter the “alien hypothesizer” we find satisfying witty exchanges that stage not only their character dynamic but the story itself. At this point, the film has promise.
Once the pyramid is discovered to be defended by deadly booby-traps, they send in a cute little NASA Mars rover that looks like Wall-E’s cousin to probe the interior. Of course, the rover encounters “something” and is disabled. So, again of course, the team has to go in to recover the important NASA robot and ends up trapped inside this giant labyrinthine tomb along with what seem to be very large, hairless, flesh-eating rats. This is about where the movie shifts from promising to…well, something less palatable. Let’s just say Of Unknown Origin (1983) was a much better “man versus monstrous rat” movie and AVP (2004) was a much better “trapped in an alien pyramid” movie.
First-time director but experienced horror writer Grégory Levasseur (High Tension, Mirrors, The Hills Have Eyes, Maniac) introduced this film nicely in the first 15-20 minutes, but then completely lost his footing and fell face-first into a spiked pit quite early in this film. It should be noted that he had no part in actually writing this film and also that, while some scenes are presented through handheld camera POV, this really isn’t a found footage film.
So these rats actually turn out to be Egyptian cats (of the Sphinx breed) which, by some super strength, manage to pull a PA3 “Toby backbreak” pulling a victim down a tiny corridor. I guess this was very entertaining, but simultaneously very awful. The general menace of these cats persists for quite a while and eventually my concern was growing that this whole movie was going to be about these feral Sphinx cats hunting down our scientists. <<FACEPALM>> But then, pretty much out of some random grab bag of plot ideas pulled from a hat, the CGI jackal-headed Egyptian God Anubis arrives to “weigh” our protagonists’ souls on the myth-told scales. Now he is the bad guy…and a dumb one at that.
The scenes with the poorly CGI’d Anubis aren’t cool, the plot goes nowhere interesting, the cats attack Anubis in a lame CGI mess, and a young scientist defeats the God Anubis with a road flare…did you get that? Defeated a GOD with a flare!!! OMFG, I can’t believe this lunacy hit theaters.
So this happens. And no, it’s not from a ScyFy Channel direct-to-TV movie-of-the-week.
After the characters entered the pyramid, I really never gave a damn about them or what happened to them. The charismatic introductions of the first act have been completely squandered. That short first act was good, even great by horror standards. But everything fell apart thereafter. In an attempt to cultivate tension and the need for escape, people were being infected with some sort of flesh-rotting fungus. That didn’t work either.
Nothing in this film worked except for our introduction to the characters. The cast includes Denis O’Hare (American Horror Story, True Blood) as the lead scientist, Ashley Hinshaw (Chronicle, True Blood) as his scientist daughter, and James Buckley (The Inbetweeners). They all did very well in the beginning and then fell prey to the writing before the Sphinx cats could finish them off.
This is one of those movies that you “hoped” would be good. It wasn’t. But maybe it wasn’t the worst thing I’ve seen this month either. I won’t recommend it to anyone looking for a good “scary movie” night. But this would make an excellent drinking game or “friends’n’beer” flick.
Movies, Films & Flix 