MY CALL: After the well-executed opening act, this possession film offers little more than illustrating some skills (and some limitations) of a fledgling director. MORE MOVIES LIKE In the Dark: In terms of possession movies, I’d instead recommend The Quiet Ones (2014), Case 39 (2009), The Last Exorcism (2010), The Conjuring (2013) and Oculus (2014). They all offer very different “flavors” of possession with less conventional settings.
Right out of the gates this is beautifully scored with a thought-provoking opening credits sequence hinting at a dark ancient Biblical fable as art student Bethany paints something…something dark. Immediately we find unsubtle cues of a supernatural presence, followed readily by a…”disturbance.”
Meanwhile a skeptical graduate student (Veronica) studying parapsychology interviews paranormal researcher Lois about her “verified” cases, the most interesting of which involves possession and exorcism. Lois is not one to desperately grasp at straws to evidence claims of the otherworldly, rather she is known as the “miracle killer” for debunking 197 of 200 cases.
The acting (all actors being of little experience) is not great, but the director stages his story well. In one scene, Veronica reviews the 5 stages of a haunting to her boyfriend as she expresses doubt in all things paranormal. I like this as it gives us (the audience) a way to “measure” the seriousness of the situation.
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Hearing footsteps, feelings of being watched, cold spots, noises, odors.
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Whispers, laughs, moans, shrieking, moving shadows.
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Lights and electrical devices turning on and off, unseen hands touching, writings, open/close doors.
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The appearance of apparitions, disappearance of objects, breaking mirrors and glass.
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Manifestations of violence.
Lois (with the intention of helping eradicate a supernatural problem) and Veronica (with the intention to debunk the case) visit the troubled Bethany and her mother, who claim to have a paranormal disturbance in their home that’s after Bethany, who shows signs of possession. She speaks in a voice that couldn’t possibly be hers, vomits a 5″ nail and gradually becomes more physically disheveled. As Bethany’s “symptoms” advance, her behavior and appearance become more overt.
At this point in the film, I feel some credibility is lost during this transition—and, subsequently, more credibility is later lost. The contortion scene failed to capture my attention and Bethany’s episodes of violence feel more than a bit forced. What’s more is that her behavior is straight out of the “possession movie playbook” with no inklings of clever nuance to make these possession scenes stand out. We aren’t really offered any different “versions” of the classic symptoms we’ve seen a dozen times before. There is little gore (not that gore is important here), limited to vomiting black bile and a stabbing. The make-up is decent and special attention was paid to Bethany’s corrupted skin and teeth.
Lois strongly suspects possession whereas Veronica questions an overworked abusive mother or Bethany’s past head trauma to be the cause of their problems. Of course, the supernatural element becomes increasingly undeniable as we move towards confronting the “Gehenna demons” controlling her.
The dialogue falls into the trap of over-exposition, explaining every detail in the dialogue of the demon(s) and characters to such length that it feels like a chore to listen. Early in the film this was of negligible consequence as the dialogue felt more natural. But as the film progresses it begins to wear on me. I take that back, it’s becoming significantly annoying. Even in a world in which demonic possession exists, I find this level of gross over-explanation implausible. The demon characer is the worst of all. “This is what I am, this is what I don’t like, this is what I want, and this is how I’ll get it.” Basically the words of the demon summarized. Later the demon’s dialogue shifts to pure melodrama–even for a possession film. This is unfortunate. Show me, don’t tell me. When you tell me too much it informs me that you perhaps don’t know how to show me. This dialogue is all too often explained instead of shown in context.
I also didn’t feel that the characters were responding appropriately (i.e., reasonably or credibly) to what they were seeing and experiencing. Their emotions typically didn’t match the scene, the lines or the urgency–except for the mother, she was emotionally on point. Overall, the writing just wasn’t there and things really fell apart approaching and during the exorcism.
Written and directed by horror newcomer David Spaltro, this film’s first act showed the signs of a promising director. Spaltro stages things well with a good premise (i.e., debunking the paranormal goes wrong), creating anticipation and mood when weighing the opening credit sequence, the first paranormal events and Veronica’s skepticism. Introducing the “5 stages of a haunting” may appear to some to be formulaic, but when Veronica explained it to her boyfriend it felt as if it arose organically. I was being primed for something great and I enjoyed the delivery. But the second half of this film is indicative that this director would better serve his audience with a more experienced writer penning the script. Sorry, it had to be said.
I’d like to see what David Spaltro could do with his vision if handed a script–or, perhaps, if he had more freedom. Ultimately, I didn’t get anything great here. However, I feel that Spaltro’s proven skills have greatness in them. He just needs the right script and I am left to wonder if my perceived writing flaws weren’t the hand of a writer/director whose hand was forced by his producers. And someone give this guy a budget to play around with. He staged some creepy atmosphere in the early scenes. I’d love to see what more he can do.
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Late Phases: The Old Man and the Werewolf
Late Phases tells the age-old story of a blind Vietnam veteran battling werewolves that are terrorizing a retirement community. The independent horror film is refreshingly heavy on practical effects and creates a neat atmosphere of paranoia, crankiness and suspense. I love that there is never any doubt about the werewolves (aside from the dumb cops) and the film plays out like Grumpy Old Men met Gran Torino and The Wolfman happened.
What I appreciate most about Late Phases is how straight forward it is. A cranky widower named Ambrose (Nick Damici) is moved into a retirement community by his harried son and his overbearing wife (stereotypical turds). A werewolf kills his seeing eye dog and the cops think it is a wild animal attack (of course). The threat of mauling via demonic creature inspires him to start working out, finding silver bullets and prepping himself for the next attack.
What follows is a tidy 90-minutes that introduces several compelling characters and builds to a blind battle royale between man and beast. Ambrose figures the werewolf attacks are from a local so he goes about getting to know his neighbors and local church goers. It is fun to watch as this old man practices sharp stick work in his front yard Roadhouse style while the elderly inhabitants watch on in confusion. He isn’t the nicest fellow and is prone to pulling guns and sassing women but I’m not a blind Vietnam vet who lost his dog so I can’t really blame him.
Director Adrian Garcia Bogliano does a good job with the werewolf carnage but the majority of the human interactions never feel real because most of the characters are archetypes. Damici carries the film on his surprisingly ripped old man shoulders and his blind acting comes across naturally and not forced. Damici was very good in Stakeland and his scripts for We Are What We Are, Cold in July and Stakeland are better than they have any right to be. Late Phases is a horror film made by people who love horror. It may miss on several levels but there is an independent pureness and the new story is welcome.
The werewolf design is funky as the werewolves look like a Gremlin mated with a Critter then got splashed with water and became a Werelim. Robert Kurtzman (From Dusk Til Dawn, Faculty, Tusk, Evil Dead 2) relished the opportunity to create something new and he turned a familiar creature into something different.
We here at MFF love Werewolf films and we’ve covered a ridiculous amount of the furry cinematic carnage. If you want to check out reviews for Dog Soldiers, Wolfman (remake), An American Werewolf in London, The Howling, Wer and Wolfcop please do!
Late Phases is a welcome addition to the Werewolf genre because it proves that practical effects and new stories aren’t dead.
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This article is rich with images you do not want your boss to see when he’s looking over your shoulder at work. View at your own risk.
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MY CALL: This would probably be more fun if watched as a drinking game. But for a smutty, shoestring budgeted, semi-exploitation film, it tried really hard with the creature effects. Good for them. I was entertained. MOVIES LIKE Bio Slime: Tentacle and goo monster movies come in all forms. The good include The Thing (1982, 2011), The Blob (1988), Grabbers (2012), The Raft (segment from Creepshow 2; 1987), Slither (2006) and The Kindred (1987). The “good bad” include The Boogens (1981) and The Stuff (1985). The really bad include Night of the Tentacles (2013) and Street Trash (1987).
This is one of those movies that I had never heard of until Amazon randomly recommended it based on some of my purchases of more questionable taste. I’m guessing Night of the Tentacles (2013) triggered this. LOL. I went in hoping for an indie Splice (2009) meets The Thing (1982, 2011). Instead I got something originating from deeper in the Abyss. It turns out this movie stars and was made by people involved in loads of other horror films of the kind I specifically try to avoid; the kind with so much nudity and/or sex that they feel like softcore porn. Oh well, here we go…
Within 30 seconds of starting this film I fear I’ve made a mistake. The acting is bad and the editing is even worse. Immediately I shift gears and consider this more of a student film that may have some merits hidden deep within. Right now that hidden merit seems to be the opening credits. But wait, perhaps this isn’t actually so awful. Yes. The acting is bad…and much of the camerawork…and the writing. But this “bad” was packaged like this deliberately. Among deliberately bad horror movies this is surely not of the caliber of Zombeavers (2014) or Love in the Time of Monsters (2014)–or anything else that I’d actually recommend to anyone. But should you accidently wander into viewing this with an open mind and a good sense of humor you’ll survive the encounter with at least a smirk on your face.
A criminal (Tai Chan Ngo; Killjoy Goes to Hell) meets another man of questionable moral fiber in a dark alley to exchange a brief case. Its contents? Apparently some kind of tentacle monster the result of secret government experimentation. The case ends up in an apartment building inhabited by friendly but shady people and, in no time at all, a drunk (Vinnie Bilancio; Blood Gnome) comes across it and “activates” something by turning a key that compromises the integrity of the container and something that looks like a block of spoiled tofu from Andrew Zimmern’s Bizarre Foods bites his hand.
Then someone else comes in contact with this now pulsating blob of goo in the case, and they become infected. Infection by this parasitic slime seems nonspecific, happening by the goo injecting itself into one’s blood stream, engulfing them like the blob (but in a boring way) or jamming itself down one’s throat. Although sometimes it’s just trying to kill you rather than infect you. There’s really no rhyme or reason to it.
The classlessness of this film is readily apparent and deliberate as various characters are in the porn industry (and played by adult film stars) for no other reason than to have our protagonists walk in on scenes being filmed and to have otherwise mundane conversations with totally naked women suddenly being “normal.” It also means the victims may be naked (and several of them are).
The kills and the effects were all pretty poor…or are they pretty entertaining?!?!? It all comes down to your frame of mind and expectations when viewing a film like this. After all, what would you expect from a $50,000 budget and loads of gratuitous nudity? Perhaps the highlight of the special effects was a fleshy trilobite of a monster that looks like a slimy, warty STD. But this turns out to be an ectoparasitic organism that lives on the “main monster.” Our first glimps of the monster looks a lot like a squid-sludge monster or a Grabber with a toothy maw. Other effects include a couple naked porn stars transforming into a naked slimy succubus with tentacles…and one gets cut in half…and then she attacks. LOL.
We eventually meet the central hivemind of this creature, a quasi-humanoid sludge beast that speaks and has some understanding of its identity. It captures a woman, apparently strips her of her clothes, and entraps her in slimy ivy like an incubating host in Aliens. It knows it’s very old and comprised of all victims that are absorbed into its sensual communion. After something of a tentacle sex scene between them (nothing terribly graphic other than the nudity itself), it smacks of a live-action Hentai Cthulhu. But even more striking is how similar the creature is to Phantoms (1998).
This film starts out horrible, but finds its way to something tolerable…as far as sleazy, low budget horror goes. The first 30 minutes were honestly quite painful, but the action becomes much more frequent as the film proceeds, along with more on-screen (rather than off) activity and we begin to see quite a lot of creature effects considering the budget. I think I might actually be impressed. Our hero may be an alcoholic, out-of-work painter with a samurai sword who can make an EMP device out of a biohazard containment unit, but I ultimately found myself not caring.
This film is horrible and yet the second half is also a pleasant surprise of abundant creature effects. Watch at your own risk and be mindful of the sleaziness if you have company.
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Mission: Impossible Rogue Nation: The Blockbuster of Summer
Mission: Impossible Rogue Nation is the sequel perfected. It is lean, mean and features chase scenes that will leave you breathless. It starts fast, never slows down and oft makes you laugh. You have to love a movie where the bad guys are fodder for well-dressed people to conquer via motorcycles, airplane grip strength, computer hacking and odd couple pairings.
Mahalo y’all
In true Mission: Impossible fashion the plot revolves around some European bad guys looking to kill a bunch of people. They are secretive, deadly and if Chris Klein from Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Li was in the film he would say they “walk through raindrops.” Eventually, they piss off Tom Cruise and his now disbanded Impossible Mission Force risk treasonous death in order to bring down the bad guys.
Joining Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) are returning members Benji (Simon Pegg), Brandt (Jeremy Renner) and Luther (Ving Rhames). The four core members have an easy chemistry that has been built from film to film. I would pay to watch a spin-off where Rhames and Renner drive around in a 4X4 all day and talk smack to each other. This may sound insane but I would love a Mission: Impossible/Spy hybrid where Melissa McCarthy, Jason Statham, Rose Byrne and crew team up with the IMF and battle some European villains who dress like dolphin trainers.
The IMF may not be joined by an insane Jason Statham but they do pick up an occasional double/triple/quadruple crossing British agent Lisa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson). Faust switches alliances more often than tailored outfits and finally gives Cruise a suitable spy love interest/foil (think Mr. & Mrs. Smith after they know each others identities). Ferguson does a solid job of holding her own in action scenes and is believable as a female Ethan Hunt who can do everything Ethan can but in high heels.
Tom Cruise and writer/director Christopher McQuarie (The underrated Jack Reacher) have dedicated themselves to giving the audience a good time. The set pieces are things of orchestrated beauty as we get fantastic opera house fights and a showstopping motorcycle chase in which you feel the speed. You feel the giddy joy they have in creating bonkers action set pieces and the insanity of the missions feels organic because we are watching an Impossible Mission Force.
There is zero pretentiousness to the proceedings and it appreciates telling a good joke amidst vehicular carnage (You had to rent the slow 4×4!). Mission joins the Fast series in its appreciation of global locals and outrageous set pieces. The stunts may be bonkers but they are well-thought out and become iconic because you feel the danger. Having Tom Cruise around is a bonus because you sense that he puts his body on the line no matter what the danger. There is scene in Rogue Nation where Cruise scrapes his knee while going 200 MPH on a motorcycle. I don’t know if that was planned or not but it kept me interested in the moment. It all may be perfectly safe but there is a sense of danger whenever a new and outrageous stunt happens. The only stock moments are when we get are the obligatory shirtless Cruise and at least 149 Rebecca Ferguson glory shots.
Ving Rhames needs a version of this poster.
If you are looking for a great time in the cinema it doesn’t get any better than Rogue Nation. It knows what it is and excels in creating likable characters, well-thought out fights and a whole lot of fun. Watch it and let me know what you think!
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John’s Horror Corner: Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), an anthology that is so much more than simply Pinhead in space.
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This article is rich with images you do not want your boss to see when he’s looking over your shoulder at work. View at your own risk.
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MY CALL: A nice change of pace as the franchise reviews the past and future of the Puzzle Box in this anthology of sorts. This franchise remains worthy through the fourth film, even if pale in comparison to the first two films. MOVIES LIKE Hellraiser: Be sure to see Hellraiser (1987) and Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988) first, of course. Then maybe Hellraiser 3: Hell on Earth (1992). Also try Lord of Illusions (1995) and Nightbreed (1990) for more creepy practical effects reminiscent of the first two Hellraiser films.
Jason X (2001) took Jason Voorhees to space, as did Leprechaun 4: In Space (1996). I think we can all agree these were bad, but fun and campy ideas. Thankfully Pinhead’s (Doug Bradley) legacy retains some value as this film actually rights its swervingly uncertain path in the wake of Hell on Earth (1992) and returns the franchise to a more worthy storyline than Pinhead on a killing spree or simply giving us “Pinhead in Space.” Yuck. If you want Hell in space, you want Event Horizon (1997). Period.
Entering the fourth installment of the franchise, Bloodline opens on a 22nd century space station where Dr. Paul Merchant (Bruce Ramsay; Alive, Continuum) uses what I can only describe as a 1990s Nintendo PowerGlove operating a robot to open the Puzzle Box. A team of “space marines” manages detain him (after he opened the box), and he reveals that the Puzzle Box has been in his family for centuries and he must put an end to its lineage of terror. As he explains, we are told of two past generations in his bloodline that possessed the very same infernal artifact.
I was most pleased with the very different approach in storytelling in this movie. This film is essentially an anthology in which the space station story wraps around two other stories within, all three being of different time periods; past, present and future.
Merchant explains (in the first encapsulated story) that in the 18th century, his toymaker ancestor Phillip L’Merchant (also played by Bruce Ramsay) commissioned the Puzzle Box for a twisted cultist magician who, along with his young assistant (Adam Scott; Piranha 3D), used this device to summon a demon. They skinned a young woman as a sacrifice such that the demon Angelique (Valentina Vargas; Faces in the Crowd) may inhabit her skin and walk the Earth. Contrary to past Hellraiser canon, if you summon a demon you control that demon “as long as you don’t stand between the demon and Hell.”
Part 3 (Hell on Earth) ended with the Puzzle Box being dropped in wet cement, which was revealed to be the foundation of a business class skyscraper with the interior decorated with the famous Puzzle Box design all over the walls like modern art. Accordingly our second encapsulated story advances Angelique and her master to present day (1996) as she “senses” the presence of the Puzzle Box and is drawn to America where another of Merchant’s ancestors has been inspired by the designs of the box.
Angelique makes some temptations and summons Pinhead who. as usual, wants the box. Thankfully, Merchant successfully thwarts Pinhead, Angelique (now in Cenobite form) and their newly created “Twin Cenobites” but the box remains in the wake to threaten future generations.
I was pleased with the stories underlying all of the Hellraiser films so far. Even though Hell on Earth felt too much like an action horror with some silly troped-up components, I remain pleased with it as it refrained from the all too often exploited cartoonishness of 90s horror. It remained dire and creepy with a rich story leading up to the “Pinhead action sequence.” A major fault of Hell on Earth was the blatant over-exposition. While this fault did not keep me from enjoying the movie, it is a bit frustrating nonetheless, and we find this fault here in Hellraiser IV. Directly paralleling the degree of over-exposition is the drop in acting quality of these two movies. It’s worst in the opening space station sequence but becomes more tolerable later on.
An interesting notion in this story is that the rules continue to change from film to film. Or, if they haven’t changed, then they’re not being properly explained. In 18th century Paris, he who summoned the demon controlled the demon. I’ll bet Hellraiser‘s Kirsty wished someone had told Pinhead that in 1987! And, like in all the sequels, innocent people grow less safe with each movie. In Hellbound the Channard Cenobite goes on a mental patient killing spree, in Hell on Earth Pinhead tries to kill EVERYONE, and now Pinhead continues to kill without reservation once summoned and converts Cenobites at will. Back in the original Hellraiser, Pinhead couldn’t touch anyone unless he at least believed that their “desire” was behind opening the box. My, how times have changed with now a fourth director and set of writers for as many films.
The effects remain entertaining and gory. The Cenobites have a more traditional appearance again, except for the Cenobite dog (where did that thing come from; did Cujo open the Puzzle Box and go to Hell?) and the franchise mythology continues to expand our interest in the Puzzle Box.
Our story finally returns us to the space station where Pinhead now wanders. In the end Pinhead is perhaps permanently deported to Hell in an interesting and clever story development involving the space station itself, which Merchant designed. Lucky for us, this is about 200 years in the future. So we’re good for as many sequels as they want to make until then.
Perhaps nothing in comparison to the first two films, I still consider that this film (and part 3 as well) remains worthy for viewing pleasure.
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You can stream all episodes on BlogtalkRadio, stream old episodes at the Sharkdropper website, or download the podcast on Itunes.
If you get a chance please REVIEW, RATE and SHARE the pod!
We hope you enjoyed our previous episode on: Developing the Perfect Horror Film.
SUMMARY: This week the MFF crew discusses the past and upcoming projects of Guillermo del Toro, X-Men: Apocalypse and the X-Men and Marvel Universe franchises, and muse the past, present and future of the Alien franchise with Neil Blomkamp’s upcoming Alien 5 project.
We also answer such important questions as…
“How are Guillermo del Toro’s movies all connected?”
“What makes a bad movie enjoyable?”
“How do Sarlacc’s mate?”
“Has the X-Men franchise added too many characters for us to care?”
“Did Prometheus or AVP actually hurt the Alien franchise?”
This week’s podcast is based on the following articles:
Prometheus
Prometheus (2012) Vivisected: The Unacceptable Discontinuity between Alien and Prometheus
Prometheus (2012) Vivisected: The sea of questions regarding the mysterious black goo
Bad Movie Tuesday: AVP/AVPR/Predators
Pacific Rim (2013), an epic live-action anime experience
Pacific Rim: It’s All About the Monsters Getting Punched in the Face
X-Men First Class
Sit back, relax and learn about everything you missed.
If you haven’t seen some of these movies, be comforted that we will geekily inform you as to why you should watch them.
You can stream the pod at the Sharkdropper website, listen to us on with your mobile app OneCast, or download the podcast on Itunes.
If you get a chance please REVIEW, RATE and SHARE the pod!
Proudly sponsored by the audiobook company Audible, your new MFF podcast episode is here!
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Slow West: Slowly Going the Way of the Bounty Hunter
Slow West is the kind of film where salt literally falls into somebodies bullet wound. It has an off-kilter vibe that blends tragedy, beauty, dark humor and gorgeous New Zealand cinematography into one cohesively random movie. It is a comedic tragedy that may be one of the most memorable films of 2015. Whether it be the skeleton of a logger trapped underneath a tree or a massive fur coat worn by Ben Mendelsohn Slow West feels like the Coen brothers teamed up with Jim Jarmusch watched the Norwegian book adaptation Headhunters and were transported into a first time feature directors body. Did I mention the amazing fur coat that Mendelsohn wears?
Slow West revolves a nice kid named Jay (Kodi Smit-McPhee..think a young Jay Baruchel) traversing throughout America’s west in search of his lost love Rose (Caron Pistorius). Somehow he has made it all the way from Scotland and things are looking bleak for him until he runs into a reformed bounty hunter named Silas (Michael Fassbender). Silas takes most of Jay’s money in exchange for protection and together they unwittingly lead a pack of bounty hunters towards Rose and her fathers cabin. There is a $2,000 bounty on Rose’s head and that attracts Ben Mendelsohn’s Indian hunting/absinthe drinking maniac Payne. From there we get a journey where absinthe is consumed, loggers are smooshed and Swedish people run amok. It all leads to a fantastic shoot out that features some of the best visual gags I’ve seen in years.
Director John Macclean made a wise decision to shoot Slow West in New Zealand. The locations are beautiful and all he needs to do is set his camera and let his A-list actors stroll through the shot. I was constantly amazed at Maclean’s patience. He trusted his actors and knew the countryside would speak for itself. It was refreshing to watch action scenes where the shots are longer than 1/8 of a second. You get the feeling that the action came secondary to the characters.
Slow West is never predictable and I applaud it for that. The gags aren’t highly stylized and there is a sick yet sane sense of humor. You’ll laugh when you shouldn’t laugh and sit on the edge of your seat as the action unfolds. Slow West is a love letter and calling card that proves that Westerns can be done right.
If you get a chance check out Slow West and read my post about films you might have missed in the theater. It features What We Do in the Shadows, Ex-Machina, It Follows and ”71.
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Manborg (2011), the schlocky tale of a cyborg battling Nazi zombie mutants, robots and vampire demons from Hell.
MY CALL: This is an homage to 80s schlock trash cinema. As such, everything about this movie is stupid and cheesy and over-the-top…but for some people that works. You know who you are. 😉 MOVIES LIKE Manborg: Kung Fury (2015), Mutant Hunt (1986), Tokyo Shock films.
Kung Fury (2015) meets Mutant Hunt (1986) with a dash of cracked out Robot Chicken (2005-present) and Flash Gordon (1980) in this trashy collage of schlock, super cheap effects and stop-motion creatures.
So here’s the short synopsis by IMDB: “A soldier, brought back to life as a cyborg, fights alongside a band of adventurers against demon hordes in a dystopian future.” If that doesn’t make you want to see this movie entirely on its own, then you probably shouldn’t watch this.
“Earth, the legacy of the Hell Wars when mankind fought the armies of Hell and Hell won… With every passing hour, another nation crumbles to the technological might of this unholy menace, and their monstrous leader Count Draculon.”
The film is choppy and it appears as if actors are being greenscreened over a 1990s videogame backdrop as soldiers battle Doom zombie pseudo-Nazis with laser guns and stop-motion monster zombie shock troopers. In fact, this feels a lot like watching a videogame…while on drugs. One brave man in the battle field goes toe-to-toe with the evil warlord Count Draculon (a Nazi vampire demon from Hell?) and is left for dead.
This man becomes Manborg (Matthew Kennedy; Father’s Day) in a cybernetics montage. Laser hoverboards, combat droids, cheap computer graphics, even cheaper costumes, and a Liu Kang-ish martial arts-y sidekick named “#1 Man” mix nicely into this persistent assault on good taste—or a delightful bubble bath of bad taste, depending on your preferences.
Manborg is captured and forced to battle in the evil Nazi zombie fighting pits. Their champion is a giant claymation monster with laser rocket launchers. I loved the claymation, however bad it was. Speaking of “bad” this film was both bad and delightful (to lovers of bad films). It had a budget of $1000. 1000 DOLLARS!!!!! That in mind, this is actually quite impressive.
Massively cheap and grossly overacted, Manborg is an homage to 80s schlock trash cinema directed by Steven Kostanski (Father’s Day, ABC’s of Death 2 “W is for Wish”). At times the ultra-low budget and ultra-badness of it all was a bit exhausting. Other times it was weirdly refreshing. I especially enjoyed The Baron’s lines, attempts at romantic courtship and awkward demeanor. Attempts at gore, however cheap they may appear, were abundant and suitably messy and gross to match the trashy scale of the rest of the film.
This film even made an attempt at a plot. You see, Manborg was actually created by the same mad scientist who accidently opened the gate to Hell in the first place. So, he made Manborg to combat this infernal evil from Hell. While doing so, Manborg delivers loads of tropes from 80s trashy action badness along with digital future-scapes and weird special effects galore.
This is CLEARLY not for everyone. But for some of you (the schlock lovers), this may be just what you need.
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Hello all. Mark here.
With the Wet Hot American Summer mini-series ready to unleash itself on Netflix I wanted to recommend other cult classics that you can stream on Netflix. These films were dismissed upon initial release and have since amassed loyal followings that quote the films ad nauseam and have bought every special edition VHS/Laserdisc/DVD/Blu-ray released (Think Evil Dead and its hundreds of editions).
There is a reason these films are considered cult classics. They have bumps and bruises and are loaded with personality. They get better with repeat viewings and you might not have liked them the first go around. These five films feature talking mixed vegetable cans, iconic improved lines and amps that go to 11. There movies simply won’t quit and you sorta need to watch them.
Wet Hot American Summer
Wet Hot American Summer is a weird little thing that has grown in brilliance throughout the years. Nobody could have guessed that a movie about fondling sweaters and hot dog breath would be resurrected 14 years later. Wet Hot is the kind of film that gets better with each viewing and makes you interested in cheddar fondue. It plays so fast and loose it feels incomprehensible to the normal mind. The stupidity becomes genius and you learn there was a method to the madness. David Wain and Michael Showalter knew what they were doing and it is hilarious.
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The Warriors
Warriors come out and play!
The Warriors tells the age-old story of a crew called The Warriors battling their way back to Coney Island after they are falsely accused of killing a gang leader. It is weird, stiffly acted, violent and über memorable. Director Walter Will created a violent and cheeky hybrid that features lots of broken bones and a gang that looks like KISS started a baseball team. It takes a cool idea and builds a mythology around NYC’s gang culture. I totally understand why people were turned off by the macho posturing and eccentric nature of The Warriors. However, Hill’s vision of violence struck a chord and spawned video games, fan art and a whole lot of baseball playing cosplayers. What I love the most is the line “Warriors come out and play” was improvised and those clinking bottles were a game time decision. I love when tiny random moments get burnt into the lexicon.
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Big Trouble in Little China
Kurt Russell is my hero and Jack Burton is my favorite cinematic blowhard of all time. Big Trouble tells the story of a long haul trucker failing upwards while navigating a world full of magic, immortals and sleeveless shirts. It is rare when the hero ends up being the sidekick and more often than not Burton is a semi-hindrance to the rescue party. However, he is a blowhard who willingly puts himself in harm’s way and comes through in the end. Watch this scene and you will immediately want to watch Big Trouble.
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If’ you’ve been reading MFF for sometime you know that we love Kurt Russell and John Carpenter. I’ve written about his sleeveless shirts and we covered him endlessly on the podcast.
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Ravenous
Ravenous is an odd little film. Dismissed upon initial release in 1999 it has picked up a cult following that has made the recent Blu-ray release an event. The film is characterized by a quirky soundtrack, bonkers performances and the famous line “he was licking me!” It is clear to see why this film is so adored. Like most cult classics it has an off-kilter vibe that features performances with personality. I love how it subverts clichés and feels like a hybrid because of the sudden directorial shifts. Ravenous has a personality all its own and can stand alongside films like Evil Dead, The Warriors and Donnie Darko.
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Spinal Tap
Spinal Tap is the best mockumentary ever made. It focuses on a rock band named Spinal Tap who are on a world tour that should be called Murphy’s Law. They get lost backstage, get stuck in cocoons and draw up Stonehenge in inches not feet. The band is so optimistic and innocent you can’t help but cheer for them as they make amps that go to 11 and are applauded for their “unusual loudness.” I will let Roger Ebert sum up the band.
Yes, their music is pretty bad. But they’re not bad men; they’re holy fools, living in a dream that still somehow, barely, holds together for them. They deserve the last-minute rescue of their Japanese tour–although what have the Japanese done to deserve them? One of the loveliest ironies of “This Is Spinal Tap” is that the band took on a life of its own after the movie came out, and actually toured and released albums. Spinal Tap lives still. And they haven’t gotten any better.
What cult classics would you recommend?
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This article is rich with images you do not want your boss to see when he’s looking over your shoulder at work. View at your own risk.
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MY CALL: If Hellraiser was the Alien of the franchise and Hellbound the Aliens, then Hell on Earth falls somewhere in the Alien 3/Resurrection zone. But just because Hell on Earth pales to its predecessors, it doesn’t mean we forget that it exists. Not great, but worthy. Whether you’ve been educating yourself with 80s and 90s horror or are simply revisiting your old favorites, don’t give up on this franchise just yet. MOVIES LIKE Hellraiser: Be sure to see Hellraiser (1987) and Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988) first, of course. Then maybe Lord of Illusions (1995), Nightbreed (1990) and The Thing (1982) for more creepy practical effects.
Franchise background so far: Whereas Hellraiser (1987) delivered credible character reactions to an incredible evil force, Hellbound yielded less plot credibility while delivering a vaster array of effects and revealing more about Hell and the Cenobites. As such, I consider part 2 the point in the franchise when we stop using the word “film” and start calling it a “movie” however much I enjoyed the story. Part 1 was more compact, being entirely based on illustrating one man’s escape from Hell and the temptations required to accomplish the task. Hellbound addressed that component just in the first act and then moved swiftly on to exploring the Labyrinth and various personal Hells while being introduced to how Barker’s Hell works and is ruled. We learned more about the background of the Cenobites and the mythology behind Barker’s Hellish Labyrinth. It felt that perhaps the sequel’s director Tony Randel (Amityville: It’s About Time, Fist of the North Star) was trying a little too hard to fill Horror Master Clive Barker’s shoes. The gore–which was already heavy, sloppily gross and pleasurably unique in part 1–was turned up to an “11” and the plot elements seemed to downshift in credibility.
A friendly warning: This movie gets a bit more sacrilegious than its predecessors.
In an obscure art gallery we find J. P. Monroe buying an infernally adorned pillar from a mysterious purveyor. A connoisseur of macabre art, Monroe owns a huge night club that features an attached VIP penthouse, hair metal bands and death metal décor like baby dolls wrapped in barbed wire. After a club-goer steals the Puzzle Box embedded in his “Pillar of Souls,” the thief is rushed to the hospital dragging behind him bloody chains. This is witnessed by news reporter Joey (Terry Farrell; Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) who is in need of a good lead and is now obsessed with discovering the story behind this strange “accident.”
Meanwhile back at the club, after a one-night stand with a bimbo he finds at his bar, Monroe’s date for the evening examines his new art purchase a bit too closely and, well, you know…something bad happens. LOL. Pinhead’s now lively face appears on the pillar, hooked chains harpoon the young girl and flay her skin, and the pillar basically eats her as a blood offering to Pinhead. It’s actually a pretty cool scene.
When we last saw Pinhead, he had been killed by the Channard Cenobite in Hellbound. Once something of a torture-master servant of Hell, in this movie Pinhead is introduced more as a desperate diabolical tempter. So he gets Monroe to bring him more blood to make him whole again. Monroe calls his ex-girlfriend Terri (Paula Marshall; Warlock: The Armageddon, Nip/Tuck). The sacrifice doesn’t go very well and Monroe himself is consumed by Pinhead fueling his infernal resurrection. The pillar turns into a collage of the animated flesh of trapped souls and begins to fragment, falling apart and oozing a slimy afterbirth. Yet another gooey, memorably gory scene. [Like its two predecessors, this movie will please gorehounds.]
Upon release, Pinhead goes on a metalhead killing spree, unleashing a storm of summoned hooks and chains from the club’s warehouse ceiling to rend and flay the panicking masses. I’m assuming they’re not all heinous sinners, making this is the first of the Hellraiser movies in which Pinhead kills innocents having nothing to do with the Puzzle Box and, crueler yet, turns innocents into Cenobites! Summoned in the same manner as Frank and Julia (in parts 1 and 2), Pinhead is now apparently free to roam the Earth! It seems that the rules have changed and, now unbound by the laws of the Hell’s Labyrinth, he may wreak havoc as we wishes. There’s one catch, though. Just as the Puzzle Box opened Hell’s door to return Frank and Julia to Hell, it can do the same to him; he must destroy it! It’s up to Joey to stop him.
The Cenobites are a bit less inspired. Look at the top right and note the Cenobite holding a drink shaker. He was a bartender in life.
Then CDs in the head of the DJ and a camera through the eye of the cameraman.
In something of a side plot we learn that Captain Spencer (Doug Bradley), the man whose curiosities opened the Puzzle Box and transformed him into Pinhead, was not an evil man. The evils inside him were sundered from the good, leaving his good-intentioned ghost and his evil-immersed Pinhead as two separate entities in Hell. His ghost visits Joey in her dreams to warn her of Pinhead’s powers and intentions.
Now in our third installment, Clive Barker’s (Nightbreed, Hellraiser) infernal art and brilliant storytelling are behind us now. This third film finds a third director (Anthony Hickox; Waxwork) and a third set of writers—contrary to Hellraiser which was written and directed by Barker himself and Hellbound which involved Barker in the story development. This film continues a very engaging story (the ongoing franchise story) but is cheapened a bit by falling into some 90s horror trope snags.
I just want to pause here and say that I really enjoyed this movie. So whatever you read below, just now that I’m not hating. I’m simply being critical.
In the first film the Cenobites seemed to be demons from Hell intent on torturing souls for eternity. Their mutilations and appearance were suggestive of their sins. Hellbound then revealed that the Cenobites were once human and we see Dr. Channard transformed into a Cenobite (and an irregularly tough one at that!) in Leviathan’s “Instant Cenobite Chamber.” So we added substance to the Cenobite mythology illustrating that they were the creation of the God of Hell, but cheapened the entity with the creation of a new one in less time than a “7 Minute Abs” workout and more like “The Clapper.” In this third film we find Pinhead himself creating Cenobites left and right. Further cheapening the Cenobites is that our new demons lack mutilations indicative of their sins in life or torture in Hell. Instead their appearance is consistent with how they were killed onscreen…impalement by CDs in the mouth and head, constricting a head with barbed wire, jamming pistons through a head (and WTF was up with those pistons coming out of the Hell pillar sculpture anyway!?!?!). Oh, and while easily killed in Hellbound, these Cenobites are totally bulletproof. You can only kill them with glowing Atari videogame lasers fired from the Puzzle Box. All that said, they were still fun to watch, rather menacing and born of gory means.
Another major flaw would be the writing. The story is fine, but EVERYTHING is over-explained in such fine detail that it feels like listening to SAT test prep instructions or a “Do It Yourself” audiobook. I found myself a bit exhausted as the ghost of Captain Spencer directed, warned, instructed and taught Joey about the Puzzle Box, its history and importance, Pinhead, what he wants, how he’ll get it and how to defeat him.
The acting is fine—nothing spectacular but everything that we need. The effects and gore are satisfactory and abundant, although not as wowing as the first two films. This movie seemed to approach gore with the “more is better” mentality. I certainly enjoyed it, though. What holds this film together is our fear of Pinhead and what happens if he is free to wander the Earth.
Yup. This is clearly the influence of the 90s, a decade known for the dark humorization of horror and over-exposition. The Freddy and Jason of the 80s could be funny, but Pinhead is darker and should stay that way. Thankfully, outside of the annoyingly instructional dialogue, the uninspired Cenobite mutilations (which were entertaining in their own right) and a few grotesquely lame one-liners (“ready for your close-up?”) reminiscent of a mid-franchise Freddy Krueger, this film’s tone remains quite dire. That’s what makes this third film work despite its shortcomings. But it has lost its once truly surreal luster and now simply feels murderous…which is probably why this was the last Hellraiser movie to hit theaters, leaving only direct-to-DVD films in its wake.
Yes, this movie has many faults. But it was also exciting and perhaps the only film in the franchise that felt like it “starred” Pinhead. What we learn about Captain Spencer’s ghost also adds to the developing mythology.
Hellraiser was the Alien of the franchise, Hellbound the Aliens, and Hell on Earth falls somewhere in the Alien 3/Resurrection zone. Just because Hell on Earth pales to its predecessors, it doesn’t mean we forget that it exists. It remains worthy. Whether you’ve been educating yourself with 80s and 90s horror or are simply revisiting your old favorites, don’t give up on this franchise just yet.
Movies, Films & Flix 