10 Years
10 Years wisely doesn’t have the melodramatic bells and whistles that normally go along with good looking people attending a reunion. The laid back script and likable cast create a neat little film that should find an audience on DVD. It constantly hits for singles as opposed to swinging for the fences. The result are moments that make the experience worthwhile. I enjoyed watching an unpretentious film that didn’t have emotional monologues or that slacker guy who is overly self important. However, because of it’s adherence to staying below the radar keeps it from being memorable like other reunion films Beautiful Girls or Gross Pointe Blank.
10 Years tells the simple story about a high school reunion and the various characters who come to it. The cast is loaded with likable good looking actors who genuinely seem to enjoy being part of this film. Together, they drink a lot, sing bad karaoke and discover hidden break dancing skills.
As the night progresses old feelings reemerge, tiny revelations are made and people begin to realize that they should grow up. It also features a neat song by Oscar Issac.
I’ve always been a sucker for reunion movies. I love Gross Pointe Blank and Beautiful Girls. However, I was too young to fully appreciate the intricacies of the 27-28 year old brain when I was 14. So, 10 Years is sorta my generations reunion movie. It never dives below the surface but intelligently stays away from melodrama. There is no extravagant adultery plot, broken hearts, tear soaked monologues or fist fights. Channing Tatum doesn’t chase his girlfriend to the airport and after these two get caught throwing toilet paper they say “it seemed like a good idea a couple hours ago.”
It doesn’t explore deeper territory like the fantastic reunion film Beautiful Girls. Beautiful asks “Why do we always f*ck up with the good ones?” It is about the unrealistc expectations men have and the relationships those expectations keep them from having. The movie had more time to dive into the territory and featured contemplation of waiting for a 13 year old to turn 18. The waiting never happens and cooler heads prevail. In the end the film has memorable themes and relevant questions.
You won’t ask yourself questions while watching 10 Years. However, you will enjoy the resolution of several story lines For instance, Justin Long, Max Minghella and Lynn Collins have a touching conclusion. Also, Oscar Issac and Kate Mara form a nice duo whose chemistry and back story can connect with most people who harbored a secret high school crush.
10 Years is a nice film that shows how much things change over ten years. The cast is likable and there are moments that stick. It is refreshing to watch a nice film about nice people who are growing up.
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John’s Horror Corner: Warm Bodies (2013)
MY CALL: This Romeo & Juliette approach to the zombedy breathes new life and a well-placed sense of hope into the genre. While Shaun of the Dead (2004) and Zombieland (2009) succeeded in lighter-hearted, smiley approaches, neither conveyed the sense of romance-driven hope above desperation in their apocalyptic settings. So see Warm Bodies! You’ll leave feeling hopeful. [A] IF YOU LIKE THIS WATCH: Other zombedies like Shaun of the Dead (2004) and Zombieland (2009).
As R (Nicholas Hoult; Clash of the Titans, X-Men: First Class, Jack the Giant Slayer), Nicholas Hoult’s narration adds an inflexive zombie-perspective and comedic charm regarding the idiosyncratic behavior of animated corpses and, given the unique opportunity, their romantic proclivities. The narration feels natural and unscripted as if you were watching a home video of yourself and Mystery Science Theater-ing it. This nearly impromptu style reveals that he goes by “R” because he can’t remember his name–only that it started with a zombie-grunting “rrrrrrhu?”
R “almost having a conversation” with M[arcus].
After introducing us to his daily lumbering grind, he rescues Julie (Teresa Palmer; I Am Number Four, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, The Grudge 2) from his “friends” and keeps her safe. As he struggles to remember how to enunciate we learn that he has also clearly forgotten how to talk to a girl…since he has no memories of his life at all! The mix of his awkwardly nigh-mute zombiism, his self-deprecating narrations (which are humanly articulate) and his high schoolish nervousness present an excellent platform to develop these characters and their relationship.
“Try to look dead.”
“Too much.”
Unlike Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland, the gore was quite minimal. There were no slow throat-tearing bites, flesh-rending or disembowelments by super strong zombie hands, which makes this ZomCom more watchable by those who don’t care for shocking displays of gore of suffering. This was a tasteful choice and, even as a gorehound, in this case I very much approve.
One of these things is not like the other.
Huh? No. This is nothing like Fulci’s Zombie.
This is one of the “bonies.” They’re a little closer.
I was really pleased with the music. Songs like Bruce Springsteen’s “Hungry Heart” and Jimmy Cliff’s “Sitting in Limbo” mesh tongue in cheek irony with generally spectacular scoring decisions. Not to mention playing “Pretty Woman” when R is receiving a “human” makeover, a great scene in which the stellar supporting character Nora (Analeigh Tipton; Crazy Stupid Love, The Green Hornet) turns Hoult from zombie to hottie.
The Shakespearian elements were not limited to the main characters’ names: R[omeo, perhaps] and Julie[tte]. Their relationship seems little less than “star-crossed” from the start, she learns not to fear or hate R as he becomes “more human,” her ex-cause-he’s-dead boyfriend Perry is essentially Paris, Julie’s father (John Malkovich; Red, Jonah Hex) plays the lord of House Capulet role and he hates zombies as if they were Montagues, Nora plays Shakespeare’s helpful “nurse” of House Capulet, and Marcus (Rob Corddry; Pain and Gain, Hit Tub Time Machine) does a heartfelt and transformative job filling the shoes of Mercutio. There’s even a balcony scene, which was the only unsubtle reference–but didn’t feel forced.
I generally enjoyed every aspect of this movie. I have few small complaints and I’d rather not draw any attention to them. This film is too good to chance scaring you off over minor quibbles.
So go see this. You’ll leave feeling satisfied and hopeful.
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Jack the Giant Slayer as Told by Pictures
I am pretty certain what will happen in Jack the Giant Slayer. There will be beans, beanstalks, angry giants and slayed giants. There will be a smathering of CGI while a well quaffed Ewan McGregor uses his Star Wars training to stab some tall men.
Collider visited the set and released some promotional pictures for the CGI fest. I looked at the pictures and the plot unfolded before my eyes. The film is directed by X-Men and Superman maestro Bryan Singer so it has a chance to be a fun and loud time. The film has been delayed for over a year and was once titled Jack the Giant Killer. We shall see if the delays and tweaking will make it better or louder. I will undoubtedly watch the film but I feel like the surprise will be gone now that I’ve conquered the plot.
A wide eyed kid will find some beans, drop the beans and and look very surprised
There will be a climbing scene where after 45 minutes he realizes he has only climbed 20 feet. I wonder how somebody could climb a miles high beanstalk and not be tired
Meanwhile, Ewan McGregor introduces us to the world of the faux-hawk and fabulous shoulder pads.
The kid reaches the top of the stalk and the scenery looks like somebody sneezed a bunch of CGI and got lucky.
Somehow the kid tricks a giant and it falls down the beanstalk and does a belly flop into the ground
Peasants gather and they annoy me. The biggest problem I have with these kinds of films are the extras.
The giants get angry and Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum I see the head of a peasant popping
While giants are popping heads the kid finds a spunky love interest.
The giants gather and prove they can pose in cool looking positions. Also, the main giants hair looks like he saw a picture of Walton Goggin’s hairstyle in Justified and decided to copy it.
Ewan McGregor once again proves he has awesome hair.
The giants gather in a huge CGI blob and plan on smooshing some puny humans.
The humans line up against the giants in what will prove to be a very bad idea. Who thinks they can withstand giants charging? They tried it in Wrath of the Titans and it proved to be incredibly dumb.
A huge battle happens and everybody becomes friends. In the pic below the crew is smiling at all the giants and their new found love of faux-hawks.
There you have it! Zero research. Watched a trailer once. Probably correct. I can’t wait to watch this film and appreciate the CGI and peasant smooshing.
fffff
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Bullet to the Head
Grimy, brainless and features the line “if you hurt her I will kill you with a rock.” Bullet to the Head is unapologetic about it’s violence, stereotypes and bullets to the head. It is the story of a low level assassin who teams up with a detective to take down an evil condominium owner.
One of the biggest problems with the film is that the director has no idea on how to use Jason Momoa. He is like an NFL linebacker who can act and has showcased his charisma in Game of Thrones. In this film he scowls, spins axes and scowls more. He has cool moments where he is interesting but he has to flail around while Stallone somehow manages to go blow for blow with him. The main advertising point of this film was the epic axe fight. I was hoping for long static shots but was stuck with quick editing and only about thirty seconds of violent axe action. This is a shame because the fight had a lot of promise.
Sylvester Stallone is reliably reliable as a con who wants to avenge his partner. The problem is their is nothing likable about him. He makes racist Asian comments, constantly takes his shirt off and mumbles a lot. Stallone made his comeback years ago in fantastic films Rocky Balboa and Rambo. In those films he provided character moments that filled the movies with heart. For instance, in Rocky he had a chair sitting in a tree next to his wife’s grave showing that he often visited. In Rambo he said the famous line “live for nothing or die for something.” Those films featured little ego and relied on solid writing. However, in this film he rambles on and tries to make us believe he has lived in New Orleans his whole life and could battle Khal Drogo to a draw.
The film also features likable actor Sung Kang in an odd relationships with sly’s daughter played by likable Sarah Shahi. The two have zero chemistry yet have to form a relationship because the script calls for it. The bonding makes it awkward for Kang the detective and Sly the crook to gel and is tailored made idea to feature in a sequel. It is a plot device that is never fully formed thus feels like a waste of time. This is a shame because the two have proven to be invaluable in Life, Fast Five and Better Luck Tomorrow.
I know I am being overly critical of a film called Bullet to the Head. However, The recent Arnold action film The Last Stand features clear motivations, coherent action and an immensely likable cast. Bullet is grimy and feels like it was written in 1986. The movie focuses heavily on high falutin’ cell phones and magical flash drives that seem like relics. The director Walter Hill (Warriors, 48 Hours) is part of the problem. He has a stellar resume but can’t help but making this film feel like an old school action romp. It relies on conventions (one-liners, boobs, blood) that worked in the 80’s but now feel gratuitous. There is nothing wrong with the conventions but they seem old when in the hands of Hill and Stallone. You feel like this movie could have worked in 1986 and that is why it won’t work in 2013 regardless of the tagline trying to tell you otherwise.
I applaud Stallone for trying but I hope he goes back to the days of interesting scripts and non-gratuitous bullets to the head. Watch The Last Stand instead and appreciate an old action star in a new vehicle.
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The Imposter
The Imposter is a visually stunning documentary that lingers in your memory and leaves you with many questions. It is an odd story that is absolutely mind boggling. How did it work? Where is the child? How can you top so many lies on top of each other? The true story is told with fantastic visuals and recreations. It reminded of the fantastic book A Devil in the White City. Both are nonfiction stories of false identities, death and deep lies. They tell true stories in immensely entertaining ways. I loved every second of each experience and applaud their creators. They found ways to capture the spirit of these larger than life characters and give you a 95 minute wild ride.
The Imposter is the story of a 13 year old boy who disappeared from his home in San Antonio. Three and a half years later he is found alive in Spain. The problem is that he has a French accent, brown eyes (the missing boy had blue eyes) is seven years older and named Frederic Bourdon. The family accepted him and the story gets weirder and weirder. The lies get deeper and the man actually gets people to believe a story about military kidnappings that involve broken bones and rape.
It doesn’t stop there and it would be terrible if I gave away the rest of the film. It is beautiful to look and thrilling to watch. It floors you with it’s weirdness. You will sit on the edge of your seat with each new discovery. You will probably never know what happened but that is why it is so thrilling. Is the narrator conning people once again? Can we trust the narrator? Can we trust the family who took him in?
It is hard to believe that The Imposter is true. That is why it is so thrilling. The directors usage of reenactments, home videos and talking heads create an atmosphere you can’t trust. I can’t think of the last time a film/documentary drew me in so deep.
Watch The Imposter. Appreciate the story. Prepare to ask many questions.
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John’s Horror Corner: Tucker and Dale versus Evil (2010), a wonderfully funny and chunkily gory horror-comedy.
MY CALL: Some movies just work and this is one of them. If you love horror then you must watch this one in which the perspective is hilariously reversed through the eyes of the killers…or are they the killers? Director Eli Craig must have a PhD in Sam Raimiology! [A] IF YOU LIKE THIS, WATCH: Want more funny and gross-out goretastic? Drag Me to Hell (2009), Piranha 3D (2010), Final Destination 5 (2011), The Cabin in the Woods (2012) and Piranha 3DD (2012).
The set up is a lot like the recent installments of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Wrong Turn and The Hills Have Eyes franchises. A group of college kids go camping in the woods. They’re unnerved by the backwoods, hillbilly-chic locals and, naturally, they suspect the worst of them. Perhaps for the first time in horror movie history, these kids’ assumptions were wrong.
Tucker (Alan Tudyk; A Knight’s Tale, Serenity) and Dale (Tyler Labine; Rise of the Planet of the Apes, TV’s Mad Love) are two loveable, kind-intentioned idiots excited about a bro-mantic fishing trip. Their interactions with our teenage campers—the victems of a typical horror set up—are misconstrued such that they appear to have performed malevolent deeds. After nearly drowning, Ally (Scream Queen Katrina Bowden; Piranha 3DD) is rescued by Tucker and Dale. But when they pull her into their boat and yell “we have your friend” to the others, it is perceived that they “took” her and then cruelly goaded them. Naturally, when Ally regains consciousness, she thinks she’s been abducted.
Katrina Bowden
Just from the trailer I think everyone knew that this would just “work” on film. This was Eli Craig’s first job as director (and writer) and I’m itching to see what he does next. He took a smart comic premise and peppered in some solid doses of Sam Raimi-esque ultra-gore.
As the kids try to “rescue” Ally from her “captors” they are accidently killed under silly circumstances delivered with perfect timing to the horror of Tucker and Dale. A true horror hound, I tend to laugh at many of the kills in serious horror flicks. But this movie invites all to join in the laughter as mulched entrails shower over the face of a mortified friend.
American Psycho and the Scream franchise may have mastered the slasher movie satire. But this stands out as more of a paramount slasher movie farce, much as Shaun of the Dead was for zombie fare.
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John’s Horror Corner: The Wolfman (2010)
Hello all. Mark here.
John has been publishing horror corners centering around werewolves for the past couple of weeks and I wanted to chime in on one of my favorites. An American Werewolf in London is my favorite furry angry creature film but the new Wolfman is my second favorite. Is it really the second best werewolf film of all time? Nope. Is it atmospheric, linear and beautiful to look at? Yep. The film doesn’t get the credit it deserves for actually trying to be something more than a lame remake or teenager horror romp.
The film went through pre-prodcution hell. Director Mark Romanek (Never Let Me Go) left for creative reasons and after an extensive search Joe Johnston was hired to helm the film. The problem is that he had only three weeks to prep an $85 million dollar remake of a 1941 classic. Directors have weeks to prep and scout for one day commercials and Johnston had to break the script and stable the reigns of a runaway direwolf in 21 days. The film had a quick rewrite and started on time at England’s Pinebrook studios. The budget exploded to $150 million and it’s release was pushed back a year. So, the film was rushed to completion then sat on the shelves waiting to be released. The Wolfman had everything going against it and it still managed to be a cohesive and technically sound film which is something many films cannot accomplish. Upon release it received a 35% Rotten Tomatoes score and collected a total of $164 million from it’s theatrical and video release. It managed to break even and won an Oscar for Rick Baker’s wonderful make up.
The Wolfman tells a linear story about four full moons and lots of death. The story starts with Benicio Del Toros (Huge Wolfman memorabilia collector) character charming an audience on the London Stage. His brother’s wife visits and tells him that his brother is missing (dead). So, he goes back to his families mansion to look for his brother, deal with the past and argue with his tough father played by a semi-overacting Anthony Hopkins.
In an attempt to rescue a child from a werewolf Benicio is attacked and considered dead. He recovers and when the next full moon rolls around he channels Duran Duran’s Hungry Like the wolf and devours many poor villagers. The scene is filled with gore and and a sense of dread not appreciated by the masses. There is nothing like a realistic looking werewolf eating helpless villagers while bearded men try futility to shoot it.
He is captured by Hugo Weavings savvy detective and quickly taken to a mental hospital where they attempt to cure him in ice cold water and straight jackets. Benicio isn’t Criss Angel so he endures the water and jackets and listens to his dad monologue about how he became a werewolf. The warden’s hubris gets in the way when he tries to convince a locked room full of scientists that there is no such thing as werewolves. That plan goes horribly awry and the wolf goes on a full rampage of destruction and games of hide and seek.
I love how straightforward the film moves along. There is a natural flow and the full moons provide welcome violence to the conservative world. While on the ride you get to enjoy scene after scene of beautiful scenery, spilled guts and gratuitous shots of Emily Blunt’s back.
The Wolfman looks great and deserves a second shot at monster movie redemption.It also features the greatest chair throwing moment of all time. Anthony Hopkins can officially add “Awesome chair throwing skills” to his resume of awesomeness. Watch this film. Appreciate beauty. Support films that try to make something grand.
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Bad Movie Tuesday: Death Race 3: Inferno
There is a world outside of Hollywood that still churns out bad movies at an alarming rate. These films are seemingly sneezed out of oblivion and end up on Netflix or five dollar bins at retail stores. Did you know that they are still making Wrong Turn, Anaconda and Lake Placid films? Somehow, somewhere and inexplicably there is an audience for cinema with bad dialogue, incoherent plots and scantily clad women.
It reminds me of the stuff people watch in Idiocracy. Death Race 3 is the equivalent of “Ouch, my balls” without the satire. Part of Bad Movie Tuesday has been to explore the bad movie world no matter how painful the film. DR3 is the sequel to a prequel of a remake and is the kind of bad film where you are less worried about the action and more interested in why the main characters feet are not prunes after standing in water for 24 hours.
Death Race 3 is worse than Death Race 2 which was not as good as Death Race. The problem is that Death Race was a bad movie remake so you can imagine how bad DR3 is. Death Race was directed by Paul W.S. Anderson who is also responsible for Bad Movie Tuesday staples like The Three Musketeers 3D, Resident Evil, AVP, Mortal Kombat and Soldier. The man has had a long career in mainstream bad cinema. His movies are loud and often destroy great ideas. This is the man who made a soul crushing Alien Vs. Predator film. If you look at his films he has made zombies, fast cars, sword fights, monster fighting and super soldiers mediocre. If you just looked at this picture you probably think it looked kinda cool. However, you never get that feeling when watching the movie. It takes skill to make cool cars, Tanit Phoenix and Danny Trejo boring.
Death Race 3 is an easy film to write. The dialogue can be undemanding, the acting stiff and all you need to do is let the second unit director film some cars driving around and you can edit it into a car chase. DR3 features the same driving shots over and over while the actors sitting in stationary cars say things like “faster” and “watch out.” The whole thing feels like an excuse to chill in South Africa for a couple months and let character actors like Ving Rhames, Dougray Scott, Luke Goss and Danny Trejo collect paychecks.
Death Race 3 is the kind of film where everything explodes. Stuff is loud, dumb and quickly edited. The prisoners are angry, the bosses are greedy and the women wear copious amounts of leather. Everything is explained to you and more explosions occur. DR3 makes explosions boring. the picture below is from a big fight the navigating women had to have before the big race. It makes the viewer feel kind of sad for everyone involved which is the exact opposite of what the producers intended.
The plot revolves around Luke Goss and crew trying to get their fifth win so they can be free. However, billionaire Dougray Scott has different plans. This all leads to large vehicles driving around in South Africa for 90 minutes. People die, things explode and they explain everything at the end.
Death Race 3 leads into Death Race and I am hoping they don’t make a prequel to this prequel. However, the final line is “f**k logic” so I fully expect to be reviewing the Death Race 4 for Bad Movie Tuesday in the near future.
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John’s Horror Corner: The Abomination (1988), an ultra-low budget slow starter that ends in a monstrous gorefest.
MY CALL: Ultra-gory killer muppet tumors? Ummm…yes please! Everything about this movie was awful except for its gory entertainment value. IF YOU LIKE THIS WATCH: Alien Predators (1985), The Kindred (1987), Slugs (1989), The Nest (1988), The Bay (2012) and Xtro (1983) are a few quite gory, mutant infestation-y movies that I’d endorse.
“An old woman coughs up what she believes to be a tumor. While asleep, the thing crawls inside of her son and reproduces inside him, then causes him to go on a killing spree to feed it.” [–IMDB]
As a fanatic of utterly ridiculous, gore-slathered horror movies, you can imagine my delight when I read this description [the quote above].
Dude. This must’ve been the inspiration for Kuato in Total Recall.
Maybe they’re cousins or something.
Like a Troma movie, Cody and his friends enjoy drinking and driving while racing on the wrong side of the road and drinking at work. Shortly after being parasitized by his mother’s coughed up tumor, he coughs up one of his own and keeps it under his bed like a pet.
“The abomination”–the Biblical demon of Revelations harbingered by Saint John–somehow compels Cody (Scott Davis; Ozone! Attack of the Redneck Mutants, Witchcraft III) to kill people to feed it. Considering the obvious budgetary limitations of this movie, an effort was made to show Cody slitting the throats of his victems. Excessive quantities of fake blood more than make up for the poor execution of…well, everything else in the movie. Cody ends up killing basically everyone he knows.
After the first “feeding” the baby abomination grows rapidly. It’s awesomely gross and reminds me of the dog cage scene in The Thing (1981). For the simplicity of the materials used, the creature looks pretty cool! Before we know it Cody his choking up more abominations which colonize the kitchen cabinets and the laundry machine. They look like giant fleshy muppet mouths with tentacles.
This movie has lousy film quality, terrible editing, one-take cue-card reading in lieu of acting, and I think many of the scenes were dubbed. However, the serious attempts at soulful scoring during Cody’s narrations giggle me into forgiving these flaws. I also loved the uber-hammed up (and long) scene when Cody watches his mother get eaten by them and when bloody cottage cheese is used as brains. The end is a drawn out finale of blood and entrails. If that does it for you, then you should see this ASAP.
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Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning
Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning is a wild ride. Packed with fantastic choreography and a grim noir/detective story. It moves full speed ahead like a decapitating roller coaster. The Universal Soldier franchise keeps reinventing itself and audiences are taking notice. Director John Hyam is taking this violent juggernaut to great heights with tiny budgets. The amount of bang he can get with a buck is admirable. Universal Soldier: Regeneration was an insane warehouse fight film that showcased JCVD, Lundgren and Andrei Arlovskis fight skills. The movie caught a lot of people off guard who were expecting an crappy direct to DVD film.
When Miky Pyle loses this fight you are truly bummed out. When was the last time a direct to DVD action film brought out real emotions?
The boys are back and beating each other bloody in Day of Reckoning. The plot centers around action hero Scott Adkins hunting down the men who killed his family. The hunt forces him to cross paths with JCVD and Dolph Lundgren who have freed themselves from government control and are leading a resistance of very angry men. Many of these men die in spectacular fashion.
The detective story allows Adkins and crew to use knives, guns, machetes, swords, machine guns, baseball bats, glass shards, cars, trucks, vans, elbows, knees, fists, axes, hatchets, coolers, barrels and he even destroys a mirror using a bathroom sink.
The most impressive aspect of this film is the fantastic look. John Hyams has created a film that is fantastic to look at. It is blood soaked, well lit and atmospheric. The problem is that it is INCREDIBLY VIOLENT and because of that it is hard to recomend to non-genre fans. If you love action, blood and spin kicks this is the movie for you. However, the violence is extraordinarily insane. By the end of the film Scott Adkins is covered in blood from head to toe It looks like he survived a Tarantino/ Sam Raimi film. The dude gets three fingers cut off, stabbed multiple times and catches a machete in the forearm. The final fight alone features one machete, 138 machete wounds and 1,398 spin kicks.
If you are a fan of slick action films that attempt something different and feature insane violence Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning is for you.
Movies, Films & Flix 
