Young Adult
This film is unique, tough and unpredictable.
I didn’t want to see Young Adult. Sitting through another depressed attractive person film was not high on my list. I wondered after Up in the Air why Jason Reitman would have taken such a big step back. However, this film was on a bunch of top ten lists of 2011. So, I began to read up on it.
I watched Young Adult yesterday and I’m realizing that Diablo Cody and Reitman have created a totally unique character. She is an anti-hero that is unpredictable, insane and drunk. You cannot sum up Mavis Gary easily because she breaks the mold. Mavis is drunk and in arrested development but you never see her as a clichéd “Drunk Mavis” or “Evil Mavis.” What you witness is a character that is smart enough to survive in a world she hasn’t adapted to.
Sidenote: Theron is in arrested development in this film. Do not confuse her with her Mr. F character in the hilarious television show Arrested Development.
The movie focuses on a divorced author (Theron) who returns home from the big city of Minneapolis in order to win her high school boyfriend back. The problem is that her ex (Patrick Wilson) is a happily married family man. Theron is convinced he is unhappy and she wants him back.
Along the way she picks up a drinking buddy/sounding board played by Patton Oswalt. They went to high school together until he was beaten brutally in a hate crime. The athletes beat him because they thought he was gay (he is not). The two are stuck in differing forms of limbo and play well off of each other due to alcohol and bitterness. Patton listens to the beautiful woman despite the fact that he thinks she is crazy and that her mission will not succeed.
You HOPE that Charlize will not succeed in her mission. The scenes with her and Patrick are more tense than many of action films. There is a feeling of dread every time she gets around Patrick. I kept wishing that Mavis would not break up the nice couple.
What happens is surprising and smart. You could easily write the film off as slight and superficial. However, Mavis is masterfully crafted monster. Some critics complain the ending feels to dream like. However, I understood completely what her actions meant. this film was a tight rope act that pulled off the unthinkable. It made a horrible good-looking person likable.
Watch this film. Enjoy the unexpected. Use the word “dour” to describe it.
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Hugo
Hugo is a blast of niceness. It is a love letter to the magic of cinema. The film is innocent, imaginative and beautiful. Kids should be watching Hugo and not all the disposable Chipmunk, Smurf and Zookeeper nonsense.
Martin Scorsese has crafted a wonderful 3D experience that left my girlfriend and I smiling. There are so many nice scenes in this film and the 3D brings it all together in a non obtrusive way.
The story focuses on a young orphan named Hugo Cabret. Hugo lives alone at a train station and keeps all the clocks running. He also steals small parts from a toy store in hopes to finish the automaton that he and his deceased dad were building. All of the stories tie together nicely and most importantly there are no evil bad guys.
It seems like most of the people watching this film are adults who love Scorsese. This is a shame because Hugo could ignite children’s imaginations and have them thinking bigger. The kids in this flick build, read, climb, imagine and learn. Hugo is based on kindness and an innocence rarely achieved.
Hugo will put a smile on your face. It will also make you hope for the preservation of old cinema and all its magic.
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John’s Horror Corner: Apollo 18 (2011), pretty much a story about moon rock spider biology and unlucky astronauts
MY CALL: Solid story-telling and a nifty idea, sadly ill-complemented by poor delivery from no follow-through on that nifty idea, make this movie tolerably entertaining. However, the Hof and I could never recommend this one for those looking for scares or great sci-fi-horror twists [C-]. WHAT TO WATCH INSTEAD: I really expected something more like White Noise, Paranormal Activity or its sequel (but not Paranormal Activity 3). You know—slow, observation-based, tension-building creepers. IF YOU LIKE THIS, WATCH: If you want weird, creepy or space mission-gone-wrong maybe try Mission to Mars or Red Planet. Hellishly wrong? Then Event Horizon or Pandorum. DRINKING MOVIE STATUS: Please do. TRAILER: Click here and read how excited I was about this movie. Key word: was.
This movie was way worse than it’s prequel Apollo 13–if they only managed to sign Tom Hanks again this would have been a hit. Not the case, though. Had there been a shortage of Bad Movie Tuesday material, Apollo 18 surely would have been a candidate. This movie had some serious potential…
[Soylent green. Don’t eat it. JUST SAY NO.]
1. A somewhat over-played, but still neat idea.
Yeah, I know. Alien infestations span SyFy movies-of-the-week (Contamination) and box office hits (Species, Alien) alike. They’re just plain fun, often full of “oh shit” jumps that leave you smiling and excited for whatever’s next.
2. Characters that you care about.
The backstory was elaborate and allows us to invest in these guys on this mission. They’re regular guys (other than being astronauts, of course) who care about grilling, beer, their families and are stoked to launch into space. Just the “aw, shucks” appeal that you don’t want to see getting Slapchopped by some aliens.
3. Excellent use of a super-tiny budget.
The effects may have clearly been of dated quality. But it didn’t matter a bit! Everything I needed to see could be viewed as well as it needed to be. I never wanted for more. That takes careful planning.
This probably all sounds like a big bunch of awesome, right?
[“HELP! I’ve got a thing inside my thing!”]
So what went wrong?
Random things happen with no explanation.
Don’t get me wrong. It was exciting that I never knew why Michael Myers wanted to kill his sister in Halloween. Not everything needs to be explained. But damn, some things do? We see dudes get “infected” in two different ways. We have no idea if the infection is the aliens’ toxin, or just space bacteria. We only seem to encounter one alien species…so what the shit are they eating up there on the moon!?!?! And don’t you tell me each other unless you’re prepared to be lectured on ecology and evolutionary biology! These aliens also have the best camouflage of all known organisms ever. May as well have been magic! Oh, right, and why did this mission even launch? You could come up with a reason. But when you see how the movie ends, you realize there is no good explanation justifying this mission. Wait! I know the reason…so that they could make this movie while not having to stress over good writing and a coherent story.
[He should have used protection.]
I’m at the end of my rope here. So here’s a brief SPOILER: this movie is about “rock spiders.” You heard me right: rock spiders! Or, more like rocks that are werespiders! Here are some examples of what I think the alien should have looked like instead…werespiders!
P. S. I feel guilty that I was entertained by this movie.
[Thank God for gamers and RPG geeks that can draw, right?]
John: OUT!
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Contagion
Contagion is a tightly knit film that successfully intertwines multiple story lines involving a rapidly spreading pandemic. The story takes you everywhere from Atlanta to Hong Kong, and features 37% of all the A-list actors on the planet.
The movie starts with Gwyneth Paltrow contracting the disease while visiting Hong Kong. She unwittingly brings it back to Minnesota, and is dead within days. Luckily, her husband Matt Damon is immune to the disease and we’re able to see the chaos through his eyes. I liked his story the most because his character is allowed to travel freely throughout the chaos ridden world.
The rest of the movie follows Laurence Fishburne, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Marion Cotillard, Brian Cranston, Elliot Gould and Enrico Colantoni as they search for a cure, or try to slow down the spreading of the pandemic.
Director Steven Soderbergh is a master of the ensemble cast. He’s conquered the heist film (Ocean’s 11) and brought every walk of life together for Traffic. In less capable hands, this could have been a detached debacle of wandering celebrities spouting scientific dialogue or preaching about what humanity should do in a crisis.
I like Contagion because It has a detached nature that looks at an immense crisis with calm and intelligent eyes. If you like 37% of all the A-listers using big words, you will appreciate this film.
Check out John’s review here.
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Jack Reacher
Jack Reacher will have a long life on TNT or FX. Why? Because, it plays it safe, features a megastar and has enough action and mystery to satisfy a viewer on a rainy day. This is not a bad thing. Not every film has to be life changing or feature Daniel Day Lewis talking about milkshakes. It is a blue collar film that uses the Pittsburgh location well and features a Chevelle SS driving very fast. The problem is amidst the blue collar is an unnecessarily shirtless Cruise. He is believable when hanging off the world’s tallest building or being a hot shot pilot. However, put him in old henleys and dive bars and he doesn’t belong. Tom Cruise can play a sleek spy but he is lost when playing a dude. It is like watching Tom Hanks flounder in Larry Crowne or Russel Crowe fall into a pool in a slapstick manner. I applaud Cruise for trying to bring a famous literary character to life but it seems like his ego got in the way of a better film.
Jack Reacher made me want to watch The Lincoln Lawyer. Matthew McConaughey fully embodied everything that Mickey Haller represented. Smart, charismatic and not perfect. He is a twice divorced man who drinks too much yet is great at his job. The movie came out of nowhere and received an 83% Rotten Tomatoes rating and made enough money to justify a sequel. The movie worked because of the perfect casting and faithfulness to the book. It seemed like everyone was on board to tell a good story and put their egos aside. Jack Reacher feels like pure ego. For instance, every woman in Pittsburgh loves Reacher and he constantly makes poor Rosamund Pike blush.
Jack Reacher is the story of a man who kicks a lot of butt, has no phone, address, PO box, time share or friends. He is a loner who rights wrongs and enjoys flannel shirts.
The best part of this film is that he has to battle the evil Werner Herzog and his henchman Jai Courtney (Spartacus, John McClaine’s son in upcoming Die Hard). They are two murderous foreigners who love money and chopping off fingers. They add a believable level of menace and German accents. Courtney opens the film with a brutal massacre and frames it on a solider who has a past with Reacher. Reacher comes to town and punches people in their knees and avoids baseball bat wielding hooligans. The movie moves at a brisk pace and never meanders. What this film is lacking is exactly what I thought director Christopher McQuarrie (Way of the Gun, Usual Suspects writer) would provide. The film is supposed to be a blue collar white knuckler where you feel the hits and the engines roaring. It should have been efficient, dangerous and with 50% less perfect fitting leather jackets bought from Goodwill.
I did appreciate several moments of the film. I want to adopt Robert Duvall and the final fight and big car chase were believable. The final fight between Cruise and Jai is a highlight of the film despite it’s technical deficiencies. The hits actually hurt and do real damage. There is no Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol fighting here. When you get punched in the face you fall down. Also, the car chase is a highlight because Reacher is not an F1 driver and he drives his stolen Chevelle SS the best he can while chasing the bad guys and being followed by the cops.
I did not dislike Jack Reacher. It has some cool moments and you can tell Cruise wanted it to be a great film and eventual franchise. Check it out when it hits TNT or FX. In the meantime watch The Lincoln Lawyer. Shameless John Leguizamo plug!
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One Day
SPOILER ALERT: Key elements of the plot will be discussed in a satirical way that discusses the badness in a non negative way.
Lovers of the book/film can sum this up as the redemption of a smirking/selfish man at the hands of a decent/patient woman.
However, for me this film can be summed up by an annoyed look. I watched this movie with my girlfriend Megan and co-writer John. 30 minutes into the film I looked over and John’s face was a mixture of annoyance and disbelief. I’ve watched many bad movies with John and I’ve never seen an annoyed look like that.
I wasn’t surprised by the look. The reason I rented the film was because the trailer was laughable. It features the Movie Voice Guy doing a booming narration while the two English people live unhappily for twenty years.
I figured the movie would be cheeky bad. However, it becomes “bad bad” because the two characters are so unlikable. Jim Sturgess constantly smirks and acts drugged. Also, in an attempt to make Hathaway less attractive they had her wearing circular glasses that made her look like Harry Potter’s muggle sister. The two spend twenty years in a love/hate friendship in which many hairstyles are explored.
The director and screenwriter went out of their way to make us not like Sturgess. I don’t blame Sturgess. I blame the director for allowing him to be so terrible. His mom has cancer and he won’t spend time with her. He is a Lothario. He is the worst talk show host ever (according to the British press in the movie). Hathaway doesn’t get better treatment. She is in a relationship with a nice/sponge of a man who really cared for her. Hathaway makes it a loveless relationship for years and pushes the poor guy into alcohol and depression….Even when she dumps him he is kind to her and encourages her writing (a fact he only knew about that day).
Eventually, Jim gets divorced and he FINALLY gets together with Anne. They become happy and she gets crushed by a runaway bus.
Sidenote: John called the scene before it happened. Hathaway was riding her bike looking happy and John yelled out “City of Angels!”……then smoosh. I still don’t get the reference but I understood what he was getting at.
Don’t watch One Day. Watch Serendipity. It takes them a while to get together but at least you like John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale
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Bad Movie Tuesday: In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds
Or as it is called in Latvia: Dolph may be in the Dark Ages but he wears a stylish scarf.
When I first heard that Uwe Boll (Bloodrayne, Alone in the Dark, Blubberella) was directing the Swedish sensation I jumped out of my chair and metaphorically front kicked all the patrons at Pinera Bread.
Why was I so excited? I knew I was about to watch a movie with an $8 budget and a seven-day shooting schedule. The dialogue would be on par with a lemur stomping on a keyboard and the costume design nonexistent (People in the background wear jeans). Bad Movie Platinum.
.
The opening of the movie features Dolph beating up six people with ease. He then drinks some whiskey and is attacked by ninjas. A portal opens up and Dolph is magically transported to a mythical world that has poor hygiene but still managed to conquer time travel. Dolph does what any tall Swede would do after time travel… he promptly punches a man off of a horse.
The world Ehb is in trouble from “evil ones” and the only person that can save it is Dolph Lundgren. His mission is to kill a woman called Old Mother and save the world from darkness, blow darts and bad acting.
Sidenote: This is the only film where you will say “Did Dolph just kill a guy by stabbing him in the lower back?” Also, Dolph is cornered and he tells his attackers “I will take four of you Pu**ys with me and you know it.”
I love that all 20 people in Ehb speak in a medieval tongue while Dolph uses modern-day slang. He even goes as far to say his name Granger helps him get laid.
He calls people bitches, crazy bastards, morons, punks and tells people to shove stuff up their butts. He also never changes out of his clothes and says lines like this “I started my day with a protein shake and ended it by sleeping in a medieval hut.”
A large battle occurs the next day featuring 20 extras. They are armed with swords, knives and clubs. Dolph bests them with fists, front kicks and headbutts. He also tells the healer they can make antibiotics from moldy cheese.
Dolph eventually has to battle a dragon. It was a good thing Dolph had his protein shake because this dragon loves to light peasants on fire. disappointingly, he never gets to punch the dragon in the face because he goes to back to the future and fights the evil king in his duplex.
QUICK QUESTION: Dolph drowns the evil king in his Duplex bath tub. What will he do with the body? How do you explain a man in renaissance fair garb dead in your bathroom? Sequel?
This film makes the 1994 JCVD semi-classic Time Cop seem like Shakespeare directed by Orson Welles.
Don’t watch this movie. Leave the bad Dolph films to me. Enjoy life, nature and the pursuit of front kicks.
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The Artist
This film is a visual treat. It makes for a perfect date night because of the charming romance and pretentiousness of taking your date to a black and white film. What makes this film work is that Jean Dujardin and Berenice Bejo have an unmatched chemistry. These two French actors were unbeknownst to me and that is why the movies works. All I saw were two characters and not actors playing characters.
The film starts in 1927. Famed silent actor George Valentin is living large. His movies are successful and people adore him. He has a chance encounter with an aspiring actress named Peppy Miller. The two meet cute and the chemistry is off the charts. However, he is married and she becomes the face of “talking” pictures.
Their two paths diverge and their lives go in radically different directions. What follows is a joyful film that is far from a black and white gimmick. The Artist is a love letter to the silent era that feels contemporary.
Watch this movie. Dig the score. Love the dog. Leave happy.
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The Trip
The title of this movie have me thinking of lots of corny jokes right now…but I’ll spare you a trip down that path….oh man, I had to throw in just one 😉
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Best of 2011
Hello all. Mark here.
2011 was a superb year for movies. I had a hard time picking out the number one film. I picked Warrior because I want it to find a larger audience. I’m hoping it blows up on Blu Ray. If you haven’t watched any of these films check them out now. Comment. I want conversations.
1. Warrior-Please watch this. Tell your friends to watch this. Tell your friends to tell their friends to watch this. This movie was criminally under watched. It hurts my soul that it bombed in the theaters. This movie features some of the best scenes and acting of the year. The blu-ray is loaded with extras too.
2. Take Shelter-One of the most powerful films you will ever see. It is impossible not to feel dread when viewing this film. The conclusion will punch you in the gut. Michael Shannon needs to win an Oscar and director Jeff Nichols will be a major force in the independent film world. Listen to the song “Shelter” by Ben Nichols right after you watch the movie.
3. The Guard– Don Cheadle and Brendan Gleeson are the best couple of the year. This movie is offbeat, funny, surprising, smart and insane. Brendan Gleeson deserves an oscar nomination because he plays a character so smart that he makes everyone think he is dumb. Also, Cheadle wears fabulous duds…you will know what I mean
4. Like Crazy– I loved this movie like crazy. I know that is kind of lame but I loved every moment of it. It made me want to buy a 7D and write a screenplay. This is the kind of love story that only comes along once in a while. This is a movie that does not feel fake and doesn’t seem too depressingly real. It is on par with Lost in Translation, Say Anything and Once.
5. The Trip– I did not want this trip to end. I could watch this movie everyday. Steve Coogan lampoons himself while Rob Brydon charms. This movie is worth the watch for the hilarious ending shot and incredible impersonation contests. Brydon and Coogan engage in Michael Caine and Sean Connery impersonation war!
6. The Descendants–understated, relaxed and wonderfully acted. Alexander Payne is a master of creating likable characters and epic journeys that are in no way epic. I like having Alexander Payne around.
6 1/2. Tree of Life– I love Terrence Malick. Sean Penn made an incredibly dumb statement when he said he didn’t understand this film. This is a simple film about a man remembering his youth on the anniversary of his brother’s death. People can look all they want for pretentiousness. What they should see is a beautifully shot film that will stay with you. Watch this. Don’t be intimidated. Enjoy the show.
7. Cave of Forgotten Dreams– Absolutely wonderful. If you love history and crazy German directors you need to watch this film. There is no reason why you shouldn’t see this. It is on Netflix instant HD!
8. Drive–Drive is one of the most sensory films ever made. Nicolas Winding Refn was finally able to translate his insanity to the mainstream. The result is badass music, ultra-violence and super coolness. Don’t watch a preview for this film because it totally misrepresents it.
9. 50/50– Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Seth Rogen are the second best duo of the year. This film hits all the right notes and provides the viewer with three-dimensional characters. I didn’t expect much out of this film and I was totally wrong. I loved the story and friendships.
10. Hanna-Great score, innovative filmmaking, a steadicam shot that will rock your face off. This movie was criminally underrated. Hanna is a unique fairy tale that will leave you happy. The ending is gangster as well.
11. 13 Assassins– The final hour is a bloodbath of epic proportions. Wowza! My girlfriend and I sat on the edge of our seats as the 13 battled 300. The bad guy is a perfect evil foil to the 13 brave men.
12. I Saw the Devil
This is a tough film. It is hard to recommend because it is so violent and dark. However, it is a beautiful looking film that is anchored by two great actors. I Saw the Devil is an unforgettable work of a mad genius. Caution: This film hurts to watch.
You will like Tucker and Dale. They are nice people who think college kids are killing themselves around them. T&D flips the horror genre on its head and provides the viewer with unique and genuine laughs.
Honorable mentions
Senna
Beginners
Our Idiot Brother
The Artist
Bridesmaids
Movies, Films & Flix 