Jack Reacher
Jack Reacher will have a long life on TNT or FX. Why? Because, it plays it safe, features a megastar and has enough action and mystery to satisfy a viewer on a rainy day. This is not a bad thing. Not every film has to be life changing or feature Daniel Day Lewis talking about milkshakes. It is a blue collar film that uses the Pittsburgh location well and features a Chevelle SS driving very fast. The problem is amidst the blue collar is an unnecessarily shirtless Cruise. He is believable when hanging off the world’s tallest building or being a hot shot pilot. However, put him in old henleys and dive bars and he doesn’t belong. Tom Cruise can play a sleek spy but he is lost when playing a dude. It is like watching Tom Hanks flounder in Larry Crowne or Russel Crowe fall into a pool in a slapstick manner. I applaud Cruise for trying to bring a famous literary character to life but it seems like his ego got in the way of a better film.
Jack Reacher made me want to watch The Lincoln Lawyer. Matthew McConaughey fully embodied everything that Mickey Haller represented. Smart, charismatic and not perfect. He is a twice divorced man who drinks too much yet is great at his job. The movie came out of nowhere and received an 83% Rotten Tomatoes rating and made enough money to justify a sequel. The movie worked because of the perfect casting and faithfulness to the book. It seemed like everyone was on board to tell a good story and put their egos aside. Jack Reacher feels like pure ego. For instance, every woman in Pittsburgh loves Reacher and he constantly makes poor Rosamund Pike blush.
Jack Reacher is the story of a man who kicks a lot of butt, has no phone, address, PO box, time share or friends. He is a loner who rights wrongs and enjoys flannel shirts.
The best part of this film is that he has to battle the evil Werner Herzog and his henchman Jai Courtney (Spartacus, John McClaine’s son in upcoming Die Hard). They are two murderous foreigners who love money and chopping off fingers. They add a believable level of menace and German accents. Courtney opens the film with a brutal massacre and frames it on a solider who has a past with Reacher. Reacher comes to town and punches people in their knees and avoids baseball bat wielding hooligans. The movie moves at a brisk pace and never meanders. What this film is lacking is exactly what I thought director Christopher McQuarrie (Way of the Gun, Usual Suspects writer) would provide. The film is supposed to be a blue collar white knuckler where you feel the hits and the engines roaring. It should have been efficient, dangerous and with 50% less perfect fitting leather jackets bought from Goodwill.
I did appreciate several moments of the film. I want to adopt Robert Duvall and the final fight and big car chase were believable. The final fight between Cruise and Jai is a highlight of the film despite it’s technical deficiencies. The hits actually hurt and do real damage. There is no Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol fighting here. When you get punched in the face you fall down. Also, the car chase is a highlight because Reacher is not an F1 driver and he drives his stolen Chevelle SS the best he can while chasing the bad guys and being followed by the cops.
I did not dislike Jack Reacher. It has some cool moments and you can tell Cruise wanted it to be a great film and eventual franchise. Check it out when it hits TNT or FX. In the meantime watch The Lincoln Lawyer. Shameless John Leguizamo plug!
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One Day
SPOILER ALERT: Key elements of the plot will be discussed in a satirical way that discusses the badness in a non negative way.
Lovers of the book/film can sum this up as the redemption of a smirking/selfish man at the hands of a decent/patient woman.
However, for me this film can be summed up by an annoyed look. I watched this movie with my girlfriend Megan and co-writer John. 30 minutes into the film I looked over and John’s face was a mixture of annoyance and disbelief. I’ve watched many bad movies with John and I’ve never seen an annoyed look like that.
I wasn’t surprised by the look. The reason I rented the film was because the trailer was laughable. It features the Movie Voice Guy doing a booming narration while the two English people live unhappily for twenty years.
I figured the movie would be cheeky bad. However, it becomes “bad bad” because the two characters are so unlikable. Jim Sturgess constantly smirks and acts drugged. Also, in an attempt to make Hathaway less attractive they had her wearing circular glasses that made her look like Harry Potter’s muggle sister. The two spend twenty years in a love/hate friendship in which many hairstyles are explored.
The director and screenwriter went out of their way to make us not like Sturgess. I don’t blame Sturgess. I blame the director for allowing him to be so terrible. His mom has cancer and he won’t spend time with her. He is a Lothario. He is the worst talk show host ever (according to the British press in the movie). Hathaway doesn’t get better treatment. She is in a relationship with a nice/sponge of a man who really cared for her. Hathaway makes it a loveless relationship for years and pushes the poor guy into alcohol and depression….Even when she dumps him he is kind to her and encourages her writing (a fact he only knew about that day).
Eventually, Jim gets divorced and he FINALLY gets together with Anne. They become happy and she gets crushed by a runaway bus.
Sidenote: John called the scene before it happened. Hathaway was riding her bike looking happy and John yelled out “City of Angels!”……then smoosh. I still don’t get the reference but I understood what he was getting at.
Don’t watch One Day. Watch Serendipity. It takes them a while to get together but at least you like John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale
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Bad Movie Tuesday: In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds
Or as it is called in Latvia: Dolph may be in the Dark Ages but he wears a stylish scarf.
When I first heard that Uwe Boll (Bloodrayne, Alone in the Dark, Blubberella) was directing the Swedish sensation I jumped out of my chair and metaphorically front kicked all the patrons at Pinera Bread.
Why was I so excited? I knew I was about to watch a movie with an $8 budget and a seven-day shooting schedule. The dialogue would be on par with a lemur stomping on a keyboard and the costume design nonexistent (People in the background wear jeans). Bad Movie Platinum.
.
The opening of the movie features Dolph beating up six people with ease. He then drinks some whiskey and is attacked by ninjas. A portal opens up and Dolph is magically transported to a mythical world that has poor hygiene but still managed to conquer time travel. Dolph does what any tall Swede would do after time travel… he promptly punches a man off of a horse.
The world Ehb is in trouble from “evil ones” and the only person that can save it is Dolph Lundgren. His mission is to kill a woman called Old Mother and save the world from darkness, blow darts and bad acting.
Sidenote: This is the only film where you will say “Did Dolph just kill a guy by stabbing him in the lower back?” Also, Dolph is cornered and he tells his attackers “I will take four of you Pu**ys with me and you know it.”
I love that all 20 people in Ehb speak in a medieval tongue while Dolph uses modern-day slang. He even goes as far to say his name Granger helps him get laid.
He calls people bitches, crazy bastards, morons, punks and tells people to shove stuff up their butts. He also never changes out of his clothes and says lines like this “I started my day with a protein shake and ended it by sleeping in a medieval hut.”
A large battle occurs the next day featuring 20 extras. They are armed with swords, knives and clubs. Dolph bests them with fists, front kicks and headbutts. He also tells the healer they can make antibiotics from moldy cheese.
Dolph eventually has to battle a dragon. It was a good thing Dolph had his protein shake because this dragon loves to light peasants on fire. disappointingly, he never gets to punch the dragon in the face because he goes to back to the future and fights the evil king in his duplex.
QUICK QUESTION: Dolph drowns the evil king in his Duplex bath tub. What will he do with the body? How do you explain a man in renaissance fair garb dead in your bathroom? Sequel?
This film makes the 1994 JCVD semi-classic Time Cop seem like Shakespeare directed by Orson Welles.
Don’t watch this movie. Leave the bad Dolph films to me. Enjoy life, nature and the pursuit of front kicks.
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The Artist
This film is a visual treat. It makes for a perfect date night because of the charming romance and pretentiousness of taking your date to a black and white film. What makes this film work is that Jean Dujardin and Berenice Bejo have an unmatched chemistry. These two French actors were unbeknownst to me and that is why the movies works. All I saw were two characters and not actors playing characters.
The film starts in 1927. Famed silent actor George Valentin is living large. His movies are successful and people adore him. He has a chance encounter with an aspiring actress named Peppy Miller. The two meet cute and the chemistry is off the charts. However, he is married and she becomes the face of “talking” pictures.
Their two paths diverge and their lives go in radically different directions. What follows is a joyful film that is far from a black and white gimmick. The Artist is a love letter to the silent era that feels contemporary.
Watch this movie. Dig the score. Love the dog. Leave happy.
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The Trip
The title of this movie have me thinking of lots of corny jokes right now…but I’ll spare you a trip down that path….oh man, I had to throw in just one 😉
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Best of 2011
Hello all. Mark here.
2011 was a superb year for movies. I had a hard time picking out the number one film. I picked Warrior because I want it to find a larger audience. I’m hoping it blows up on Blu Ray. If you haven’t watched any of these films check them out now. Comment. I want conversations.
1. Warrior-Please watch this. Tell your friends to watch this. Tell your friends to tell their friends to watch this. This movie was criminally under watched. It hurts my soul that it bombed in the theaters. This movie features some of the best scenes and acting of the year. The blu-ray is loaded with extras too.
2. Take Shelter-One of the most powerful films you will ever see. It is impossible not to feel dread when viewing this film. The conclusion will punch you in the gut. Michael Shannon needs to win an Oscar and director Jeff Nichols will be a major force in the independent film world. Listen to the song “Shelter” by Ben Nichols right after you watch the movie.
3. The Guard– Don Cheadle and Brendan Gleeson are the best couple of the year. This movie is offbeat, funny, surprising, smart and insane. Brendan Gleeson deserves an oscar nomination because he plays a character so smart that he makes everyone think he is dumb. Also, Cheadle wears fabulous duds…you will know what I mean
4. Like Crazy– I loved this movie like crazy. I know that is kind of lame but I loved every moment of it. It made me want to buy a 7D and write a screenplay. This is the kind of love story that only comes along once in a while. This is a movie that does not feel fake and doesn’t seem too depressingly real. It is on par with Lost in Translation, Say Anything and Once.
5. The Trip– I did not want this trip to end. I could watch this movie everyday. Steve Coogan lampoons himself while Rob Brydon charms. This movie is worth the watch for the hilarious ending shot and incredible impersonation contests. Brydon and Coogan engage in Michael Caine and Sean Connery impersonation war!
6. The Descendants–understated, relaxed and wonderfully acted. Alexander Payne is a master of creating likable characters and epic journeys that are in no way epic. I like having Alexander Payne around.
6 1/2. Tree of Life– I love Terrence Malick. Sean Penn made an incredibly dumb statement when he said he didn’t understand this film. This is a simple film about a man remembering his youth on the anniversary of his brother’s death. People can look all they want for pretentiousness. What they should see is a beautifully shot film that will stay with you. Watch this. Don’t be intimidated. Enjoy the show.
7. Cave of Forgotten Dreams– Absolutely wonderful. If you love history and crazy German directors you need to watch this film. There is no reason why you shouldn’t see this. It is on Netflix instant HD!
8. Drive–Drive is one of the most sensory films ever made. Nicolas Winding Refn was finally able to translate his insanity to the mainstream. The result is badass music, ultra-violence and super coolness. Don’t watch a preview for this film because it totally misrepresents it.
9. 50/50– Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Seth Rogen are the second best duo of the year. This film hits all the right notes and provides the viewer with three-dimensional characters. I didn’t expect much out of this film and I was totally wrong. I loved the story and friendships.
10. Hanna-Great score, innovative filmmaking, a steadicam shot that will rock your face off. This movie was criminally underrated. Hanna is a unique fairy tale that will leave you happy. The ending is gangster as well.
11. 13 Assassins– The final hour is a bloodbath of epic proportions. Wowza! My girlfriend and I sat on the edge of our seats as the 13 battled 300. The bad guy is a perfect evil foil to the 13 brave men.
12. I Saw the Devil
This is a tough film. It is hard to recommend because it is so violent and dark. However, it is a beautiful looking film that is anchored by two great actors. I Saw the Devil is an unforgettable work of a mad genius. Caution: This film hurts to watch.
You will like Tucker and Dale. They are nice people who think college kids are killing themselves around them. T&D flips the horror genre on its head and provides the viewer with unique and genuine laughs.
Honorable mentions
Senna
Beginners
Our Idiot Brother
The Artist
Bridesmaids
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Best Villains of 2011
Hello all. It wouldn’t be a Movies, Films and Flix list without some bad guys involved. This year featured a cornucopia of villains who transcended villainy and became very memorable. Men, women and animals comprise this list of über mean people who caused the heroes a plethora of pain.
1. Rachel McAdams- Midnight in Paris
Rachel’s character is easily the best villain of 2011. Whether she is giving Owen Wilson mini panic attacks or insulting his intentions of becoming a novelist. She is a pure ball of evil. What is the worse thing? Her name is Inez. Nothing good can come out of people named Inez…
2. Bryce Dallas Howard- 50/50 and The Help
Howard is going to be typecast for life. Her characters in the films are racist, angry and promiscuous. There is nothing redeemable about them other than making you like the other actors more. Add in her character from Hereafter and you have a trilogy of punks. Congrats Dallas! You annoyed a lot of people…..In a good way.
3. Mark Strong – The Guard
Literate, narcissistic and murderous. The guy is a perfect foil to Brendan Gleeson and Don Cheadle. His argument about psychopaths vs. sociopaths were epic. I think he was both.
4. Wolf Boss-Danny McBride – Kung Fu Panda 2
If the peacock was the CEO of Evil Corp, the wolf was the foreman. The wolf did more than the evil peacock. He hit Po in the face with a hammer, escaped the Furious Five in a buggy and described the panda by saying he has a “plush cuddly super soft face.” He is a solid villain because he is more relatable than the pure evil punks.
5. Tom Hiddleston – Thor
Smart, devious and…more smart. The guy almost takes over Asgard and will give The Avengers a run for their money. Loki is the most three-dimensional villain of the year. Hiddleston gave him the perfect amount of bravado and insecurity.
6. Albert Brooks – Drive
The ultra-violence this guy is capable of is extraordinary. He aims to hurt people before he kills them. He reminds me of a guy that would say “kill him…then kill him again.”
7. The red demon guy – Insidious
I normally don’t get freaked out by horror movie villains but this guy had me covering my eyes. The dude was a total evil punk who wanted to take over a human body and cause chaos. They don’t make evil people like they used to. Great makeup!
8. Goro Inagaki – 13 Assassins
I’m going to quote the great Roger Ebert: “13 Assassins has what many action pictures need, a villain who transcends evil and ascends to a realm of barbaric madness.”
I agree with Ebert. The dude is the definition of a badass evil monster.
9. Colin Farrell – Fright Night
I’m quoting my girlfriend “Yeah, I’m bad. What up?” Farrell is the most casual evil vampire ever. The dude rocked. You could tell he loved playing the role.
10. Choi Min-Sik- I Saw The Devil
Choi is crazy good in this film. This movie dives headlong into insanity with Choi leading the way. His performance is one of the bravest things I’ve seen in years. He is evil, funny, scary and human.
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Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
Brad Bird, Tom Cruise and crew have taken action to an artistic level. MI4 has refocused itself to a crew dynamic and steered away from the Tom Cruise do-it-all syndrome.
The plot centers around Ethan and his Impossible Mission crew on the run. They are suspected of blowing up the Kremlin and have to stop a madman from starting a nuclear war.
Along the way they survive sand storms, car chases and fist fights with French assassins. My favorite set piece was when Cruise has to enter a computer room from the outside of the worlds tallest building.
Simon Pegg had a small role in MI3 and is given much more to do in this film. He hacks computers, shoots guns and quips, Jeremy Renner makes for a solid second in command and will have a much bigger role in MI5. Paula Patton is believable as the tough female of the group. Patton is more realistic than Angelina Jolie, Maggie Q and Zoe Saldana because she is athletic and not skinny. Her brawl with Lea Seydoux (Midnight in Paris) is a barn burner.
This may be the fourth in the series but they were able to make it fresh. The addition of animated maestro Brad Bird was a daring choice that paid off. The worldwide gross is huge and critics love it (93% on Rotten Tomatoes)
The only part of this film that I found unbelievable was that Tom Cruise could find a perfectly tailored leather jacket as he is walking around the slums of Russia.
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Beginners
I dug this film. It is quirky without being overbearing and is buoyed by solid performances.
Two intertwining stories are told in this film. The first is of Oliver (Ewan McGregor) and his cancer stricken widowed father (Christpoher Plummer) who decides to step out of the closet at 75. The other story is of his relationship with Melanie Laurent (Inglorious Basterd’s). The two stories test Oliver greatly and they work because they deal with beginnings. (yeah yeah, that is the title).
Ewan and Melanie could have gone into cliché world of the pixie indie women and sullen/depressed man. H0wever, their escapades are things newly in love couples would explore. I’ve read complaints about their “meet cute.” I think that is how it would happen. These are two people who are used to meeting “cute” and they both let the relationships fall apart. it is their beginning when they decide to make it last. Between Like Crazy and this film there have been two solid romances this year. Romances where the people fall in love first then have to get to know each other. What they realize is that it is a lot tougher to keep it going.
Watch Beginners. Dig the relationship. Roll with the quirks.
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Kung Fu Panda 2
I dig these movies. The action scenes are creative works of art and you genuinely like all the characters. Dreamworks now has two solid series at their disposal. Panda and How To Train Your Dragon will make tons of money and hopefully continue to be better than Shrek.
The movie revolves around Po the Panda trying to find inner peace while battling an angry peacock who wants to blow up China by using firework missiles.
Jack Black once again gives an inspired performance. His Po is an exuberant dude who always manages to be victorious despite himself. However, Angelina Jolie sounds bored. I’m surprised they let her get away with the monotone readings. There was quite a contrast of styles.
The character I liked the most was the second in command to Gary Oldman’s peacock. The Wolf is a tough guy who proves to be a perfect foil to the Furious Five. My favorite part is when he describes the Panda as having a “plush, cuddly super soft face.” He reminded me of Moriarty’s second in command in Sherlock Holmes 2. I liked both the guys.
Watch the Panda. Dig the Panda. Skadoosh!
Movies, Films & Flix 