MY CALL: Much more mainstream and kind of silly, this sequel is nothing like any of its camp-slaughtering predecessors except for its growing sense of humor. This is not a “good” movie, but it’s such a fun flick! I love it. MORE MOVIES LIKE Friday the 13th Part VIII: Obviously, Friday the 13th (1980) and Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981) for sure. Sadly, I’d only suggest part III (1982) for the sake of story continuity (it didn’t impress me at all, but many seem to highly favor it), but part IV: The Final Chapter (1984), part V: A New Beginning (1985), part VI: Jason Lives (1986) and part VII: The New Blood (1988) were all quite redeeming. After part VII, things started to get a bit more silly. So I’d suggest fans of this turn to later Freddy sequels like A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988).
Wow. Where’s the lake? Where’s the van unloading girls in short-shorts out into the Pine Barrens? From its first moments this film feels so distant from Camp Crystal Lake and the seven prior Jason Voorhees movies. We open to a late-night radio narration, rough city streets and heroine-injecting alleys overlaid by rock music. It’s as if writer/director by Rob Hedden found his greatest muse in the stylings of A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) and A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988). Upon hearing this movie’s title as a kid, the first thing that came to mind was The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984). But around this time a lot of horror franchises were absconding their secluded cabins in the woods to try their hand at horror in the big city. It was seldom successful. Carol Anne moved downtown only to be followed in Poltergeist III (1988); evil tribbles hit Los Angeles in Critters 3 (1991); Pinhead went solo in the club scene in Hell on Earth (1992); and Leprechaun 2 (1994) took its diminutive rascal to Las Vegas and then the Hood twice (2000, 2003).
Part 7 SIDEBAR: Wrapping up the Tommy Jarvis story arc, Tommy wrapped up part VI by defeating the lightning-resurrected Jason in the first of his undead movies, which ended leaving Jason drowned (yet again) and chained at the bottom of Crystal Lake. Then in part VII, Tina (Jennifer Banko; Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III) telekinetically resurrected and subsequently dispatched Jason, sending him back to his watery grave where we find him now…
In this most contemporary installment, Jason is once again resurrected when some midnight lovers’ boat anchor severs a submerged electrical line near our favorite masked revenant. I know…very convenient. LOL. Then, somehow the boat drifts from Camp Crystal Lake all the way to maritime waters (by magic or teleportation or something…because it’s a LAKE!) where Jason boards the aptly named Lazarus on its way to take a group of high school graduates to New York City.
Incontinuity SIDEBAR: A lot of things just don’t add up in this franchise. In part V we learned that Jason Voorhees’ body was purportedly cremated (to justify that Jason wasn’t behind all the killings) and then in part VI we learned that the locals of Crystal Lake changed its name to Forest Green to help forget the horrors of Crystal Lake’s past. But neither are acknowledged in the ensuing movies in which Jason’s body is still intact (and clearly not cremated!) and strolling past signs that read Crystal Lake (not Forest Green). And speaking of lakes, that’s what Crystal Lake is! A lake! So how the Hell did a boat in this lake (in the woods) drift into a waterway leading to New York City!?!
Something I love about the last few movies is that Jason (Kane Hodder; part VII: The New Blood, Hatchet, Smothered) keeps decomposing and getting yuckier. After being left for dead underwater and resurrected twice now, his bloated body is covered in a sludgy slimy muck-like mucous. And just wait until you see what’s under that mask! Yup, he gets uglier with every sequel and I adore that.
Franchise Timeline SIDEBAR: So when does this movie take place??? Part 1 took place in “present day” (1980), parts II-IV all occur in rapid succession 5 years after the events of part 1 (so 1985), then part V jumped forward 5-6 years (so 1990-1991-ish) and (probably more of a writing flaw than anything) part VI took us questionably another 10-ish years yet further into the future (soooo, 2001…?). Parts VII-VIII provide no time statement, but could just as well occur in the same year as part VI. I guess it makes sense that too much time hadn’t past or the fish and freshwater bacteria would’ve whittled him down to nothing.
What is it with all the spear guns around Crystal Lake? Is New Jersey known for its quality lake spear-fishing? I guess they make for good death scenes…and so do steaming sauna rocks plunged through teen chest cavities and even electric guitars. And speaking of the rocker’s guitar death, this is the first kill of the franchise that led me to strongly question if Jason simply teleported! Yes, this is a big point of contention among F13 fans and one savvy Movies, Films and Flix writer offers his arguments refuting such teleportation hypotheses (even producing a diagram for the Kelly Hu death scenario) for several kills in Jason Takes Manhattan. I smell controversy!
Director Rob Hedden wore his love for Freddy Krueger on his sleeve—or, to be fair, the NOES sequels’ style more than Freddy himself. Not only does Jason manage to surprise his victims with putatively impossible movement patterns, but our final girl (Rennie) has spectral visions of a young drowning Jason through her cabin’s porthole, pulling her under the water, and strangling her through her bathroom mirror (all before she knew or even suspected any murders were afoot; like premonitions warning her). Additionally, scenes depict injectable drug use (against one’s will) and death by syringe (like the drug addict, punk girl in Dream Warriors), and a talented fighter being defeated by our boogeyman (as with The Dream Master’s martial artist). All are Freddy movie tactics and even the very reflection of a young innocent Jason harkens the nursery rhyming children or Freddy’s nun mother reminding us of our killer’s human origins.
The campiness is in steady league with part VII: The New Blood (1988). We have random nods to Stephen King and The Toxic Avenger (1984) (just because, I guess), what seems to be the unofficial son of the “death curse” guy from early in the franchise, horrible logic by authority figures, Jason breaking every door and window he finds, lots of boobs, and even more poor decisions. The nonsensical climax is also a fan favorite—when the boxer taunts “take your best shot” and Jason punches his head off! It’s also joyously funny seeing Jason shoving his way past regular people in the city streets or the subway—the New Yorkers aren’t even shocked until they see what’s behind the mask.
Revealing his extra-uglified face, Jason is defeated in a dramatic finale matched only by the utter lunacy of the resurrected father in part VII. And like VII, this is overall about as outlandish as the franchise has reached thus far. This may not be a favorite among die hard Crystal Lake fans, but these last two movies strike me as the most blast-tacularly enjoyable despite their silly flaws.
Share this post:
John’s Horror Corner: Necromancer (1988), just sleazy B-movie trash.
MY CALL: This movie is pure sleazy garbage. MORE MOVIES LIKE Necromancer: This movie is awful (like They Bite), so I dare not compare it to others. However, you might have watched this hoping for a witch movie of sorts (SEE BELOW).
Every now and then I take a shot at some obscure B-movie—some are gems, some are garbage. I should have known better when I read IMDB’s description: “A schoolgirl is raped by three low-lifes, and is then blackmailed by her attackers to keep her quiet. Desperate for revenge, she makes contact with a necromancer who promptly “takes care” of the boys using her magic powers.”
As if that wasn’t bad enough, this “revenge” comes in the form of an evil demon assuming the victim’s form to seduce her assailants! It’s pretty trashy and the rape theme receives way too much dialogue. Making things more than a little uncomfortable, Julie (Elizabeth Kaitan; Friday the 13th part VII: The New Blood, Nightwish) is forced to face her assailants on multiple occasions, a constant reminder of the event. The main antagonist is completely despicable and every time I saw him my stomach churned. Things get somehow yet more awkward with her sleazy professor (whom she once admired and trusted), who also blackmails and extorts Julie. You really just feel dirty watching this.
There aren’t really any redeeming qualities to be found here—not even on a bad movie basis. The acting is obviously terrible, the sets are embarrassing (e.g., the necromancer’s occult den is a curtained garage), and the special effects are totally weak (e.g., glowing eyes). I giggled unappreciatively at the messy monster claws of Julie’s doppelganger demon of vengeance (basically a succubus). Subsequent effects found no improvement and our witch’s magic is limited to vanishing, floating objects, and assuming the form of a completely naked Julie. I really never expected to find a film that made me miss the “quality” of Nightwish (1990).
Julie’s revenge feels spoiled for the audience as she has nightmares of her assailants’ actual fates and then runs to go check on them. Why the Hell would she worry about them or their well-being? The writing is way off base!
Honestly, I recommend this to no one. Even if you like sleazy movies, this one will make you feel dirty. And if you love deplorably bad B-movies, this one’s tone is just too far off and the effects are as cheap as the writing. If you expected some sort of witch movie and feel you need to wash your mind of this filth, I’d refer you to any of the suggestions below. Yeesh, I need to go watch something to feel better.
WITCH MOVIES: Some excellent witch movies that actually feel like witch movies include Warlock (1989), The Witch (2016; podcast discussion) and The Witches of Eastwick (1987). Beautiful Creatures (2013) and The Woods (2006) may appeal to young adult audiences. But I would sooner direct you to Hocus Pocus (1993), The Witches (1990) and The Craft (1996). I’m leaving Harry Potter out of this discussion, by the way. Fantasy sorcery (Willow, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice) and wizardry (The Lord of the Rings) is to be considered its own thing entirely. The campy The Kiss (1988), Spellbinder (1988), Necropolis (1987), Warlock 2: Armageddon (1993) and Cherry Tree (2015) are entertaining but bad. And speaking of campy, Superstition (1982) and The Haunting of Morella (1990) are allegedly witch movies but don’t feel like it. But even if you want a bad movie, definitely skip Witchcraft (1989) and all sequels. And some odd Voodoo movies include to Netherworld (1991) and Headhunter (1988). The dark noir Lord of Illusions (1995) is intriguingly edgy and, while more a “magic movie” than a “witch movie,” it hits a lot of the same dark arcane notes. And, of course, The Blair Witch Project (1999) and Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000) were awesomely stylized in their own unique ways despite never actually showing us a witch—unlike Blair Witch (2016). Check out Pumpkinhead (1988) for a great depiction of a witch, though it’s not a “witch movie.” Meanwhile Deadtime Stories (1986) and The Theater Bizarre (2011) features a pretty cool witch short story, and The Pit and the Pendulum (1991) addresses witch trials. Witches can come in so many flavors, can’t they? Lords of Salem (2013) and Mother of Tears (2007) deal with witches’ spirits in the form of dark ritual and possession. Quite the opposite, Snow White and the Huntsman (2012), The Last Witch Hunter (2015; podcast discussion) and Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013) offer action and effects-driven popcorn fun—Season of the Witch (2011) attempted this, but failed miserably. But the witch from The Brothers Grimm (2005) was pretty cool.
Share this post:
Brawl in Cell Block 99: S. Craig Zahler is the Best
Brawl in Cell Block 99 is f**king awesome. Sorry for the swearing but I loved every second of the insane fist fights and carnage. It is a well-written splatterfest that features a believable badass performance from Vince Vaughn. The choreographed fight scenes play out beautifully and they reminded me a lot of this years Atomic Blonde featuring Charlize Theron hurting people.
Brawl in Cell Block 99 tells the story of a hulking drug courier named Bradley Thomas (Vince Vaughn) going to jail for a delivery gone wrong. During the drop the police arrive and his two untrustworthy cohorts engage in a gunfight with the arriving police. Bradley doesn’t want any cops to die so he kills one of the men and knocks out another. His act of bravery lands him in a minimum security prison for seven years and luckily not a terrible prison in Austria (inside movie joke). The cartel he betrayed aren’t happy so they kidnap his pregnant wife Lauren (Jennifer Carpenter) and tell him he needs to get himself into a maximum security prison to kill a guy. From there things get very violent…
.
What I love most about the film is how you feel every punch and arm snap. Director S. Craig Zahler (Bone Tomahawk) has once again created a violent world filled with great dialogue and characters. The movie unfolds logically and I love how you buy into Vaughn being an unstoppable force of nature. You like his character a lot and understand that he dug his own grave when he decided to get back into the drug trade. Bradley never makes excuses and everything he does throughout the film is to protect his wife and unborn child.
If you are into grueling fights and neat dialogue I totally recommend you watch Brawl in Cell Block 99.
Share this post:
11 Films to Watch Before You Put Together Your 2017 “Best of” List
The end of 2017 is nigh and you are probably spending all your waking hours thinking of a top 10 list to show the world. In an effort to assist you with your list, I’ve compiled another list that is loaded with some pretty great films. I’ve left out the big hitters (Wonder Woman, Logan, Get Out, Dunkirk, Lady Bird, Blade Runner 2049, Baby Driver, It, The Big Sick) because you’ve probably watched them. The following films might’ve slipped under your radar and I think they are all worthy of end of year inclusion. Some are pretentious and others are insane but they all offer something unique and cool to the world.
Free Fire is a must watch for people who love movies about people shooting at each other in a warehouse.
Let me know what you think in the comments!
Brawl in Cell Block 99
Whoa. Brawl in Cell Block 99 is absolutely insane and I loved every second of it. Director/writer S. Craig Zahler (Bone Tomahawk) has found a way of making violence feel nasty, brutal and real. You will flinch, cover your eyes and be shocked at the things that Vince Vaughn does to people in this film. If you are in the mood for some old school violence and creative writing you will love Brawl in Cell Block 99.
.
Good Time
Robert Pattinson owns every seconds of this grimy crime thriller and I could see him getting an Academy Award nomination for his all-in performance. Good Time might be the most unpredictable film of 2017 and that is why I loved it (and others will dislike it). I had no clue where it was going or where it would end up. If you are looking for a fantastically bleak ride watch Good Time.
.
Okja
If you are into insane rides that feature super pigs, Tilda Swinton and an over-the- top Jake Gyllenhaal performance you will love Okja. If I tried to explain this film to you I wouldn’t come close to doing it justice. Just know that it isn’t subtle and shifts tones so suddenly you will lose all track of genre.
.
A Ghost Story
What I love about this film is how it ditches convention and embraces the weird. It could be described as the “Casey Affleck wears a bedsheet” movie but there are so many layers to it. It draws you in and leaves you feeling really emotional and almost missing the bed sheet. It is a very simple film that must’ve been difficult to make due to the random subject matter.
.
Wind River
Director/writer Taylor Sheridan (Sicario, Hell or High Water) has done it again. Wind River is a neat character driven mystery that builds to something great. You can tell that Jeremy Renner loves not being in a Marvel film and his performance is one of 2017’s best. Wind River is bleaker than bleak but it tells a story worth telling and you should check it out.
.
I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore
Director/writer/actor Macon Blair (Blue Ruin. Green Room) has created a very weird movie that I love. The cinematic world he has created is cynically hilarious and the people who inhabit it are capable of some crazy things. If you are looking for a movie that features ninja stars, death, robbery and more death you will enjoy this film.
.
Personal Shopper
Personal Shopper is a neat little thriller that plays like a ghost story inside an arthouse film surrounded by mystery. I appreciated how director Olivier Assayas imbues the film with a relaxed tone that builds suspense while taking its time. Much like recent “horror” films like Spring, The Witch, It Comes at Night, The Invitation and The Gift it plays with mystery/horror tropes and combines them with sensitive themes of loss. Personal Shopper will alienate many but I loved its tone and patience.
.
The Lost City of Z
Aside from Baby Driver, The Lost City of Z is my favorite film of 2017. Director James Gray has created a beautiful movie that is reflective, patient and ambitious. If you are looking for sweeping vistas, great performances and unchecked ambition you will really enjoy this film.
.
Free Fire
Free Fire is a blast of old school mayhem that features lot of gore, death and profanity. Director Ben Wheatley (Sightseers, Kill List, A Field in England, High-Rise) is one of my favorite directors and I love how all of his films have been insanely different. The guy keeps expanding his filmography and you never know where his films will go. The dude has guts and has proven he can balance cults, violent travelers, tall mayhem and people yelling at each other in fields. If you are into genre film making that doesn’t pull punches you should check out Wheatley’s films.
.
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is an absolute passion project that cost $225 million and probably should have been reigned in a bit. They say you should never go grocery shopping when you are hungry because you will end up buying a lot more than you need. Think of this movie as a very hungry director being given lots of money and allowed to use every cinematic trick he wants. Luc Besson was allowed to run wild and because of that, we get inter-dimensional gun battles, loads of CGI and Cara Delevingne sticking her head into a jellyfish’s butt so she can track her partner’s whereabouts.
.
War on Everyone
War on Everyone is a mean little thing that creates a world full of terrible people, horrible deaths and vulgar dialogue. Initially, it keeps you at a distance with its adherence to profanity but as it moves along you begin to the sync with the nastiness and it becomes a lot of fun. Director/writer John Michael McDonagh (The Guard, Calvary) is one of my favorite directors I love how his comedies are pitch black but feature heart amidst the nihilism. The Guard, Calvary and War on Everyone are 100% unsafe and McDonagh has proven himself to be a writer who hunts out controversy and makes it palatable.
Share this post:
The Book of Henry: What Just Happened?
The Book of Henry is a weird little thing that eschews boundaries and bounces all over the place. I’ve never witnessed a more earnest film that feels completely fake. I don’t think it deserves the universal hate that has been put upon it because it tries really hard to do something different (but not good). At the end of the day I don’t see how anyone would’ve pursued this thing as a feature film and I think director Colin Trevorrow shot himself in the foot when he decided to direct this thing because it possibly cost him the Star Wars VIIII job.
Writer Gregg Hurwitz came up with the screenplay 19-years-ago and it’s clear it was his first script because it is loaded with contrivances and dialogue that is way too cute. This is the kind of script that was created by someone who didn’t know any better and I kinda love that. They never thought about who exactly the audience would be and who would watch a movie about a mom trying to kill their abusive next door neighbor via a sniper rifle.
The story revolves around a genius kid, a drunk mom and death. Basically (SPOILERS!!!!!!), a genius kid discovers that his next door neighbor is being abused by her stepfather. However, before he can do anything about it he dies of a massive brain tumor. Before he died he put together an intricate book on how to kill the abuser next door (because he knew he was dying). His mother gets a hold of the book and she actually goes along with the murder plot. I won’t spoil the ending but know that it ends in a very saccharine way that betrays what just happened.
The Book of Henry is really bad because the people who created it thought they were making something great. That is why I kinda love it. Movies like this are no accident because there has to be a certain amount of ego involved in their creation. Trevorrow was genuinely shocked when the negative reviews were unleashed and I don’t think he knew what he was making. Well, the world now knows what this movie is about and I hope it becomes a weird cult classic.
Watch The Book of Henry. Embrace the insanity and dislike how fake it is.
Share this post:
John’s Horror Corner: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), where psychotherapy meets telekinesis and Kane Hodder’s zombie Jason.
MY CALL: Not classically campy, per se, but this was one of the conceptually zanier installments of the franchise. Still buckets of fun and great effects, and still recommended. MORE MOVIES LIKE Friday the 13th Part VII: Obviously, Friday the 13th (1980) and Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981) for sure. Sadly, I’d only suggest part III (1982) for the sake of story continuity (it didn’t impress me at all, but many seem to highly favor it), but part IV: The Final Chapter (1984), part V: A New Beginning (1985) and part VI: Jason Lives (1986) were all quite redeeming. For more classic ‘early modern’ slashers one should venture A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), Sleepaway Camp (1983), The Burning (1981) and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974).
Part 6 SIDEBAR: Yup, Jason keeps getting “almost, sort of, nearly killed” and then keeps coming back alive and well like Wolverine. Part IV ended after 12-year old Tommy (Corey Feldman; Friday the 13th Parts IV-V, The Lost Boys, Gremlins) killing Jason and, likewise, part V ended with Tommy (now 17 or 18) (John Shepherd; Bless the Child) killing the Jason Voorhees copycat. And then, in part V (and since the end of part IV), Jason Voorhees was, in fact, actually dead… only to be resurrected by a lightning strike in part VI, which ended with a yet older Tommy leaving Jason drowned (yet again) and chained at the bottom of Crystal Lake.
Franchise Timeline SIDEBAR: Part 1 took place in “present day” (1980), part 2 was 5 years later (so 1985), part III continued “the next day” (also 1985), and part IV took place in 1985 immediately after the events of part III starting with Jason in the hospital morgue (a la Halloween II). Bucking the trend, part V jumped forward 5-6 years (so 1990-1991-ish) and then (probably more of a writing flaw than anything) part VI takes us questionably another 10-ish years yet further into the future (soooo, 2001…?). Part VII provides no time statement, but could just as well occur in the same year as part VI.
Following the Tommy Jarvis story arc (parts IV-VI), director John Carl Buechler (Troll, Cellar Dweller, Ghoulies go to College) provides a recap of past franchise installments and introduces us to a young girl with psychic powers. In a flashback, young Tina (Jennifer Banko; Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, Barb Wire) unintentionally kills her father in a telekinetic fit of anger. After years of hospitalized therapy, Tina (Lar Park-Lincoln; House II) and her psychotherapist Doctor Crews (Terry Kiser; Weekend at Bernie’s I-II) return to the scene of her trauma (their house on Crystal Lake) in hopes of concluding her treatment; it seems that her psychokinetic abilities resulted from her suppressed guilt—a movie psychology claim about as “out there” as the psychoplasmics notion in The Brood (1979)!
Not a day by the lake and Tina’s emotions get the better of her, and she inadvertently resurrects Jason (Kane Hodder; Hatchet, Smothered, Chillerama) with a telekinetic outburst. With his return considered a mentally ill girl’s fever dream, our water-logged zombie Jason looks cooler than ever with his spine and ribs exposed and a chain necktie. They did a great job with the effects of his decaying body, the reveal of what his undead face now looks like under the mask, and Kane Hodder added flavorful posture to our killer.
Incontinuity SIDEBAR: So, in part VI we learned that the locals of Crystal Lake changed its name to Forest Green to help forget the horrors of Crystal Lake’s past. But that is not acknowledged and the signs all say Crystal Lake.
Among Jason’s victims you may recognize the following actors: Heidi Kozak (Society, Slumber Party Massacre II), Kevin Spirtas (The Hills Have Eyes Part II, Subspecies II-III), Elizabeth Kaitan (Silent Night Deadly Night 2, Necromancer, Nightwish), and William Butler (Ghoulies II, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, Buried Alive, Night of the Living Dead, Gingerdead Man III, Terror Toons 4).
Jason may be up to his typical shenanigans, but (like part VI) this sequel isn’t terribly campy. He crushes heads, punches through torsos, bursts through windows and walls, and leaps out of water like the good old days while his female victims continue to take every opportunity to take off their tops (including a rather raunchy skinny-dipping scene). But despite all the boobage, the kills maintain a more semi-serious approach (lacking the sillier eyeball-popping antics of part III). A favorite death scene of mine, this is the first time Jason employs the sleeping bag slam kill.
Well, hold on. Remember when I said this wasn’t terribly campy? I should have said not “intentionally” campy. As if no one saw it coming, the movie ends with a long and rather action-packed finale pitting Tina’s psychic powers against our unstoppable Crystal Lake revenant. The effects don’t hold up so well as she pummels Jason with couches, light fixtures, the porch roof and flower pots… but it’s still pretty fun to watch! LOL. It’s especially pleasing seeing Jason’s face!
Tina finds victory in the strangest of possible ways, returning Jason to his watery tomb and being hauled away in an ambulance with no recovery of Jason’s body. Typical, I suppose, in preserving the ease of the next sequel. I’m not complaining. With a bonkers ending like this, I found it hard to take this sequel seriously. However, it was a really fun ride!
Share this post:
John’s Horror Corner: The Brood (1979), Cronenberg’s approach to metaphysics, evil children and modern psychology.
I must extend my thanks to Dave Koenig (@AFiendonFilm on Twitter) for including this review in his David Cronenberg Tribute magazine “House of Skin.”
MY CALL: With all the best effects and most disturbing imagery limited to the final scene, this film remains powerful by virtue of its uneasy atmosphere, which persists throughout. I expected more in the gore department, but was impressed nonetheless. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Brood: I’m reminded of Altered States (1980), Possession (1981) and The Manitou (1978).
NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW
DISCLAIMER: This review has SPOILERS (mostly in the form of images) and the images presented are very NSFW.
NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW
Canadian director and writer David Cronenberg (The Fly, Rabid, Videodrome) makes some serious statements about modern psychology and metaphysics in this 70s horror oddity. One-on-one sessions between Doctor Hal Raglan (Oliver Reed; Venom, The Pit and the Pendulum) and patient Nola (Samantha Eggar; The Astronaut’s Wife, Demonoid, The Uncanny) strike me as intense to the point of perpetual creepiness. Raglan roleplays Nola’s mother and daughter (among others), spelunking his way through Nola’s fears, secrets and trauma. We learn that these sessions are quite frequent as Nola is undergoing therapy at Raglan’s private facility.
After a weekly visit with their daughter Candice (Cindy Hinds; The Dead Zone), Nola’s husband Frank (Art Hindle; Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Void, Black Christmas) becomes alarmed after discovering scratches and bruises on their five-year old. Raglan defends Nola, who is not permitted visitation with her husband as she is at a “critical stage in her therapy,” and Frank becomes ever more suspicious. Things escalate when Nola’s mother (Nuala Fitzgerald; He Never Died), father, and Candy’s teacher all turn up brutally murdered by diminutive killers.
Early encounters with “the brood” are akin to evil dwarf attacks. We witness destructive mischief and malformed creatures reaching for weapons, but we don’t see the twisted little assailants. The first encounter with these monstrous little humanoids is neither scary nor gory, and is only brutal in concept (but not so in execution). Subsequent scenes unveil more blood along with our killers’ deformed faces. It seems that through an unexplained treatment protocol of psychoplasmics and her resulting physiological changes, Nola has physically manifested her rage in the form of her brood.
Following Shivers (1975) and Rabid (1977), The Brood will not hold a candle to the gore or visceral brutality of Scanners (1981), Videodrome (1983) or The Fly (1986)—three films which remain today much more visually pleasing than Cronenberg’s earlier work. No, this film’s imagery doesn’t pack a punch anymore when viewed today. What it does have is atmosphere. The film’s focus on Nola’s therapy is off-putting yet intriguing, and it makes the final reveal all the more powerful (and still impactful, contrary to the film’s death scenes).
Many times, I couldn’t tell if I was being clued in or misled by the direction of Raglan’s roleplaying—but these scenes always held my attention and invested me in Frank’s effort to protect his daughter from a mentally unstable mother. Moreover, we find ourselves constantly questioning if Raglan is a villain or ally or ignorant bystander to the true forces at work.
With all the best effects and most disturbing imagery limited to the final scene, this film remains powerful by virtue of its uneasy atmosphere, which persists throughout. I expected more in the gore department, but was impressed nonetheless.
Share this post:
NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW
This article is rich with images you do not want your boss to see when he’s looking over your shoulder at work. View at your own risk.
NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW
Transformation scenes are often the coolest things we see in horror films–especially when they’re executed with practical effects. Some of my favorite transformation scenes are also the most gory and brutal. In The Best Transformation Scenes of Horror Parts 1 and Part 2 we reviewed the transformations featured in Tales from the Darkside (1990; the short story Lover’s Vow), Zombeavers (2014), Wolfcop (2014) (the latter two are discussed in the Podcast Episode 17), The Company of Wolves (1984), Late Phases (2014), and A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985). Of course, coming as no surprise, there’s a bias towards werewolf movies. Before we discussed films in which the transformations had the “new form” push its way out of the “old” (human) form much as a moth emerges from its cocoon…but deliciously GORIER as it tears its way out! Transformations like these are gory, laborious and to the point; like the human skin was just an ill-fitting suit entrapping a monster. The first films (that come to mind anyway) using this transformation method were the werewolf movies The Howling (1981), and far later by the werewolf character from Hemlock Grove (2013-2015; Netlfix show). The Fly (1986) also utilized this method, in which Brundlefly’s transformation was a slow mutation and his human form was gorily “molted” off after phasic shifts. I feel like an honorable mention is owed to Spring (2014), which features hints of on-screen transformation frequently and in interesting ways but limits all significant changes in form to off-screen events (i.e., revealing the final form but not witnessing the actual transformation beyond sounds and/or shadows). If only that film had a larger budget–but then, that might have spoiled the more elegant tone of that special romantic horror film.
Much to the contrary of Parts 1 and Part 2‘s “molting” of old forms, today we’ll be discussing reconstitution (or reanimation, perhaps) scenes. In case you’re wondering what that means–imagine a face/body melting slowly revealing the muscle and nerve tissue under the skin, the white tendon beneath that, and the blood and bone and organs in between. Now–run that in reverse in your head. Yes! That’s how old school practical effects often handled these scenes. That, or stop-motion animation for the lower budget endeavors. To me, though, it’s all solid gold and one of the things that made the ’80s the greatest decade for horror!
Stay tuned for future installments in this series of articles…but for now, let’s dig into some gross scenes!!!!
Deadtime Stories (1986)–excepting the middle story, I really love this horror anthology. I loved it as a kid in the early 90s (when I rented it from Ellis Street Video in Haddonfield, NJ) and I still love it today. It’s an excellent, cheap B-movie with fun short stories of dark fairy tales. The budget is low but the effects are diverse and the music was surprisingly interesting.
The first story is about a young boy and the witch sisters he serves. They intend to resurrect their long dead sister (another witch). This dark fairy tale is surprisingly loaded with fun special effects. They use illusions to seduce a priest and make his disembodied hand crawl asunder from his arm. They then remove the heart from the corpse of their long dead sister, apply a magical potion to restart its beating, and return it to her chest cavity. What follows is a gross, slimy, stop-motion display as tendrils of nerves and sinew emerge from the heart and envelop the skeleton in a crust of cadaverous filth, from which their sister would then emerge. The effects, however low the budget may be, had me squealing in delight as it reminded me of the Hellraiser (1987) transformation scene.
***********************************************************************
Hellraiser (1987) was Clive Barker’s introduction to Pinhead in this ultra-creepy, practical effect gorefest with a solid story. A crowd pleaser to horror fans of all ages, Clive Barker’s Hellraiser tells the story of a man who escapes Hell, the temptations he exploits in order to freely roam the Earth again, and the consequences that befall those nearest him. This film steers clear of paradigmatic horror with creepiness and awesome practical effects. In 1987 horror was already becoming predictable, but Barker takes us into uncharted territory that lacks the predictability of his peers. Even the gore and effects take us down a more rare and satisfying path. This film will fulfill your darkest pleasures. The catalyst for the movie’s most famous scene is when some blood is accidentally spilled where Frank was torn apart by an otherworldly evil and this blood initiated the beginning of the transformation of his remains to a rather “incomplete” facsimile of infernal Frank.
This scene is a testament to the patient practical effects of the 80s. We see organs develop from blood droplets and his body slowly finds form from a gory muck. The scene is long and gross, and it includes some creepy stop motion of his decrepit skeletal arms and bloody resurrection. This transformation scene is one of the most memorable scenes in 80s horror.
Deliciously gooey! Now a skinless, weak, macabre husk of his formal self he tempts Julia (Clare Higgins) to “help” him by bringing him more blood. And thus, the transformation actually progresses further with the story.
***********************************************************************
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 4: Dream Master (1988) included a great early scene depicting Freddy’s resurrection in the junkyard (from the end of part 3). In Kincaid’s dream, his dog Jason bites Alice (connected in the dream) warning that Freddy’s return is imminent and, subsequently, resurrects Freddy with a flaming stream of urine. A crack opens a portal to Hell, his bones reassemble and, just like Hellraiser, fluids congeal and amass over his joints and skull to form sinew and flesh (like reverse time lapse melting of wax).
***********************************************************************
Much as Deadtime Stories (1986) and Hellraiser (1987) featured reconstitution/reanimation scenes with reverse-time lapse wax melting, so followed the meagerly budgeted Dangerous Seductress (1995). This scene basically copied the aforementioned movies’ scenes, but with greater effects limitations. Despite that, and the generally campy nature of the flick, it’s still a pretty neat scene. Once reanimated the ’90s seductress in “incomplete,” looking more like Evil Dead 2‘s (1987) undead ballerina Linda.
Luckily there was a stray dog for her to eat to finish forming her other leg, right?
***********************************************************************
I hope you enjoyed these gore-slathered movie memories and perhaps you have been directed to new things you need to see for yourself. Stay tuned for future installments…
Share this post:
MFF Special: The Joker Needed 65 Minutes to Setup the Weapon Circle in Suicide Squad
The visual of The Joker surrounded by knickknacks in Suicide Squad is an inspired one that says everything we need to know about the guy.
- He likes to organize things.
- He loves guns
- He has a lot of watches
- He is computer savvy because he figured out how to keep his tablets and computers from going into sleep mode.
.
When watching the film I couldn’t help but wonder who set all that up. I don’t think he would allow his henchmen to place the items because he seems like a control freak. So, I’m guessing that he put a list together and his henchmen had to gather everything from various places (storage, corner store, flower shop, black market, Best Buy).
Here is the list and time it took to place everything on the floor. It gives a pretty clear idea of what The Joker had to do.
Quick note: I put this list together via pausing the movie many times, looking at pictures on google and analyzing every angle of the eclectic setup. There may be a few missing items but I managed to piece together 475 individual items and figure out the placement via walking around my living room like a maniac.
Imagine that The Joker wrote this list on personalized stationery.
- 50 Knives and 1 Hammer – 4 minutes
- 1 Captain Ron DVD – Just to Watch
- 176 wooden things (Piano Keys) – 5.5 minutes
- 10 Machine Guns – 1.5 minutes
- 35 Roses – 1.5 Minutes
- 2 Red Brawndos – Need Electrolytes and his thirst had to be mutilated
- 13 Bags – 1 minute
- 15 Watches – 1.5 minutes
- 2 Massive Machine Guns – 30 seconds
- 20 Cash Wads – 1 minute
- 12 Glasses (two six packs)- 1 minute
- 17 tablets – 20 minutes to place, find website page and switch to a non-sleeping mode
- 6 laptops – 10 minutes
- 1 Club Sandwich from great deli around the corner (tip well)
- 4 Onesies – 1 minute
- 3 Knives – 30 seconds
- 52 Joker Cards – 5 minutes
- 10 Grenades – 1 minute
- 37 little tchotchkes – 4 minutes
- 10 handguns – 2 minutes
- 1 New Clive Cussler book (Preferably NUMA files)
- 24 bottles of booze (4 boxes of six) – 2 minutes
After everything was collected and placed in easily totable bins The Joker set about placing everything. First, he had to lay on the floor to figure out the radius of the first circle (60 seconds). He started with the knives and worked his way out. Based on how many of the items he could hold at one time (or could be placed in bins) I retraced the steps very loosely and figured out he needed 65 minutes to set everything up. Since everything is organized and I’m guessing he had a plan that allowed him to work at a constant pace that was cautious and prevented double work. The biggest time suck was the configuration of the computers and tablets because he had to find a specific photo or website and make sure the computers didn’t go to sleep. I’m thinking he did this while watching Captain Ron in the background (see list for reference).
There you have it! The Joker had a clear plan, made his henchmen buy/bring everything, and he set everything up in a direct and confident manner befit of a true madman. Director David Ayer obviously put a lot of thought into the circle and the plan was executed to time wasting perfection.
Ending Note: I originally was going to attempt to figure out how the joker was able to setup up the massive cash pile in The Dark Knight. My guess is that underneath all that cash is a wooden frame that allowed the henchmen to build the cash mound from the top to bottom. That would alleviate cranes and hours of stacking cash that had to be in nice and organized stacks.
If you like my dumb data make sure to check out the other posts that feature more weirdness.
- Jet Ski Action Scenes Are the Worst
- Michael Myers Hates Blinkers
- Jason Voorhees Can’t Teleport?
- How Far Did the Merman Travel in The Cabin in the Woods?
- How Far Did Matthew McConaughey Jump in Reign of Fire?
- How Fast can Leatherface Run?
- Deep Blue Sea and Stellan Skarsgard
- How Far Did Michael Myers Drive in Halloween H20: 20 Years Later
- How Did the Geologist Get Lost in Prometheus?
- People Love a Bearded Kurt Russell
- A Closer Look at Movies That Feature the Words Great, Good, Best, Perfect and Fantastic
- An In-Depth Look At Movies That Feature Pencils Used as Weapons
- Cinematic Foghat Data
- Explosions and Movie Posters
- The Fast & Furious & Corona
- Nicolas Sparks Movie Posters Are Weird
- Predicting the RT score of Baywatch
- The Cinematic Dumb Data Podcast
- What is the best horror movie franchise?
- How Fast Can the Fisherman Clean a Trunk in I Know What You Did Last Summer?
- It’s Expensive to Feature Characters Being Eaten Alive and Surviving Without a Scratch
- How Long Does it Take Your Favorite Horror Movie Characters to Travel From NYC to San Francisco?
- What was the Guy’s Blood Pressure in Dawn of the Dead?
Share this post:
Bad Movie Tuesday: I Finally Watched Swimfan
It would be great to see this turd squashed under a truck, preferably a semi.
Peter Travers – Rolling Stone
I never thought I would watch Swimfan. I’ve owned the DVD for many years and it’s become an inside joke amongst the MFF crew that I haven’t watched it yet. Just the knowledge that it was sitting on my DVD shelf was enough for me. However, after an airing of My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend that riffs on Swimfan (Swimchan) my wife talked me into finally watching the movie. The result was a breezy and dumb 90 minutes that featured moped accidents, PED allegations, and shoddy police work.
The story revolves around a talented swimmer dealing with an insane person. The protagonist is the stereotypical cool kid who has an awesome girlfriend and has scouts from Stanford coming to watch him swim. However, he starts hanging around the new girl and they end up hooking up very quickly in a swimming pool. It all starts going awry for the kid and his stalker starts emailing him a lot and showing up at his house (yada yada yada).
The thing I love most about Swimfam is how it lead me to ask questions I never thought I would ask:
- Why would he cheat on Amy? She seems chill.
- Do you remember trucker hats?
- Who taught this teenage girl to be like the Terminator?
- How did she slip him anabolic steroids?
- I wonder what that dude from Detroit Rock City has been up to?
The movie is an absolute head scratcher, it must be because it was written by two guys who haven’t done much since. However, if you can put aside the badness you will have a good time watching everything unfold exactly as you’d expect. It’s like the diet cola version of junk food which allows you to enjoy without feeling too much guilt. Swimfan won’t leave you feeling drained because it doesn’t create any investment (Think Fatal Attraction’s gut punch). If you are cooking dinner or vacuuming the floor this film will be an ideal watch. I don’t want you to think that I’m slamming this poor little thriller. Movies like this need to exist and they do a great job flooding cable with perfect background fodder that reminds you of the early 2000s.
.
Should you watch Swimfan? If you plan on cleaning your house this weekend the answer is “sure.”
