Hello all. Mark here.
Some movies get lost in the shuffle and slip through the theaters without you knowing. We humans are busy and can’t possibly watch all the vampire mockumentaries and absurdest westerns that are released in the theaters. In order to catch you up on some of the films you might have missed I’ve compiled five films that are totally worth your time.
These five movies differ greatly in subject matter but all bring something original to a cinematic world that relies on recycling. These beauties offer something for everyone and feature burgeoning talent, confident directorial debuts and sexy dancing.
What We Do in the Shadows (Redbox,VOD)
What We Do in the Shadows is a glorious comedy/horror mockumentary that centers around four vampires who live in New Zealand. The horror hybrid blends comedy with lots of gore and features some of funniest characters of the last several years. It is a creative blast of niceness and violence that will most certainly become a cult classic. The 85 minute film is so full of one-liners, sight gags and hilarious characters you need to watch it more than once.
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Ex-Machina (Redbox, VOD) Check out our Ex-Machina pod here.
Ex Machina is the rare “intelligent” film that is actually intelligent. It is a fantastic science fiction film that does wonders with a $15 million budget (AKA Avengers craft service budget). Director and writer Alex Garland (The Beach, Sunshine, 28 Days Later, Never Let Me Go, Dredd) continues his hot streak and proves he is one of the best in the business.
Ex Machina revolves around two humans, one very special AI creation and a whole lot of booze. It is a character heavy movie that feels like a chess match played by three people. You kinda need to watch this film.
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’71 (Redbox, VOD)
After Starred Up and Unbroken poor Jack O’Connell can’t seem to escape movies that put him through the wringer. 71 is no different. It tells the tale of a young British soldier cut off from his ranks and trapped behind enemy lines in Belfast. If you are familiar with the Catholic/Protestant battles of Irish history then you will be fully invested in this tense tale. I also recomend you watch the Paul Greengrass directed Bloody Sunday. I love the film and I think James Nesbitt pulls off a performance for the ages.
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It Follows (Redbox, VOD) Check out the MFF It Follows pod here.
It Follows has a unique style that blends a lurking sense of dread with absolute urgency. It isn’t afraid to mess with the genre while sticking to well-worn tropes. If you combined All the Real Girls withNightmare on Elm Street and threw in All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, Elephant and The Sixth Senseyou would have something sorta resembling the film.
Director David Robert Mitchell (The Myth of the American Sleepover) takes my favorite aspects of horror (urgency, dread, patience) and combines them with a beautifully simple story about the dangers of sex. Mitchell lets the film breath and this allows the rabbit and hare story to unfold organically. The teens sleepless state creates a dreamy atmosphere that is captured nicely by the lingering camera and patient editing. The film moves at a methodically slow pace yet you have a hard time catching your breath.
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Slow West (Redbox, VOD)
Slow West is a beautifully shot, well-acted western that has its own distinct personality. It blasts off the screen with personality and lingers in your memory long after viewing (which is a good thing because I pretty much forget about movies after I’ve watched them). Michael Fassbender is always good. Rory McCann gets to do something other than play Game of Throne’s The Hound. Ben Mendelsohn wears a massive fur coat. Watch it.
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The MFF Podcast #20: Developing the Perfect Horror Film
Hello all. Mark here.
Great news! Blog Talk Radio, Sharkdropper and MFF have teamed up to form the perfect movie podcast. Now, you can stream the pods on the BTR website or download from Itunes.
Do you love horror films? Do you love incredibly random horror films that feature crossbows, overalls, pastries and squids? If you said “yes” to both of these questions you will love this pod.
Sidenote: The Merman from Cabin in the Woods makes an appearance.
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We combined ten categories (Villain, Method of Killing, Harbinger, Hero, Setting, Skeptic, Victim, Twist, Ending, Sidekicks) and broke them down in order to create something glorious. In this pod you will be transported to a new world featuring prison islands, an 18-year-old hero named Mason Jar and Pure Bulgarian Miak.
Sit back, relax and enjoy another random movie podcast from MFF. Check out the MFF pod on Blog Talk Radio or head over to Itunes and listen to the randomness!
If you get a chance please REVIEW, RATE and SHARE the pod!
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MY CALL: This film steers clear of paradigmatic horror and will fulfill your darkest pleasures with creepiness and awesome practical effects. MOVIES LIKE Hellraiser: For more great practical effects try Re-Animator (1985), Lord of Illusions (1995), Nightbreed (1990) and The Thing (1982).
A crowd pleaser to horror fans of all ages, Clive Barker’s Hellraiser tells the story of a man who escapes Hell, the temptations he exploits in order to freely roam the Earth again, and the consequences that befall those nearest him.
In 1987 horror was already becoming predictable, but Barker takes us into uncharted territory that lacks the predictability of this film’s horror peers. The victims aren’t drunk teens, people don’t make horrendously stupid decisions, and things in no way happen as we’d expect them. Even the gore and effects take us down a more rare and satisfying path. This film will fulfill your darkest pleasures.
Larry (Andrew Robinson; The Puppet Masters, Pumpkinhead 2) and his reluctant second wife move into an old family property in which, unbeknownst to anyone else, his brother Frank had toiled with the powers of evil and now suffers in Hell. Some blood is accidently spilled where Frank was torn apart by an otherworldly evil and this blood initiated the beginning of the transformation of his remains to a rather “incomplete” facsimile of infernal Frank.
This scene is a testament to the patient practical effects of the 80s. We see organs develop from blood droplets and his body slowly finds form from a gory muck. The scene is long and gross, and it includes some creepy stop motion of his decrepit skeletal arms and bloody resurrection. This transformation scene is one of the most memorable scenes in 80s horror.
Deliciously gooey!
Now a skinless, weak, macabre husk of his formal self he tempts Julia (Clare Higgins; Being Human) to “help” him by bringing him more blood. Julia clings to an adulterous memory of a past lusty tryst with Frank and wants more. She has no love for Larry but much carnal desire for Frank despite Frank’s criminally loveless nature–making this quite the perverse story.
Abusive, adulterous, infernal and skinless… Clearly, Frank is the man every woman dreams of.
Whereas Frank’s desire to be whole again bridges our story from reality to Hell, the keystone is Julia’s adulterous desire to be in his arms. As she finds comfort in the murderous means to fully restore Frank, we see her shift from an apathetic (in her marriage with Larry) and effortless housewife to a comfortably made-over black widow. Once she has brought blood to Frank slimy flayed body, she starts to do her hair differently and her make-up looks sharper–more villainous.
Although many scenes occur elsewhere this feels much like a chamber thriller, claustrophobically taking place mostly in the confines of the house. We, like Frank trapped in the attic-like spare room, feel isolated; trapped under a roof with a damned skinless man.
The only impediment to Frank’s freedom is Larry’s daughter Kirsty (Ashley Laurence; several Hellraiser sequels, Warlock III), who learns the infernal power of the Puzzle Box and bargains with some demons to return Frank to Hell.
These leather-clad, macabre demons are called Cenobites and they look like members of a devil-worshipping 80s metal band. They include Chatterbox, Butterball, Female and their leader Pinhead (Doug Bradley; Nightbreed). Their monster make-up work is off-putting and their silent demeanor only adds to their malevolence. Their words are few but direly chilling.
The Puzzle Box leads us to the only special effects in the film that don’t hold up well. While watching the Puzzle Box being solved is actually very simple (no significant FX involved really) and cool, the Box brings about some effects that resemble Atari-Tron videogame lasers. However, the Box remains powerfully mysterious and it draws our ominous attention whenever it’s on screen.
Written and directed by Clive Barker (Nightbreed, Lord of Illusions), this film offers no shortage of gore to compliment the fantastic, effective story. Frank’s victims are drained husks of pus and maggots, Frank himself is a horror to behold in his various phases of development, and then we still have other cruel visions, the twisted make-up of Pinhead and his fellow Cenobites, the Puzzle Box opening creepy gates to a somewhat ambiguous Hell, and Frank ultimately being torn apart by hooked chains in another iconic horror scene of the decade.
I find the story and characters every bit as powerful as the gory practical effects and consider this a “must see” for anyone who considers themselves a fan of modern horror.
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Ant-Man: Marvel Expands its Universe by Going Small.
Antman may fit into the larger Marvel cinematic universe but it still stands out as a singular experience. It is a weird little hybrid that feels part Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hott Fuzz), Adam McKay (Anchorman), Paul Rudd and Marvel. It has several star turns and has just enough action, character and Avenger moments to satisfy most fanboys. I appreciate that it actually made the theaters intact after the directing changes, rewrites and fact that it is about Ant-Man.
What I love most about Ant-Man is that it focuses on a small scale origin story. It tells the story of burglar Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) pulling off a heist. It is a small stakes movie in a Marvel Universe full of apocalypse, property destruction and large green men smashing stuff. The villain in Ant-Man is a petulant protege who is angry his mentor Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) didn’t share his technology with him. So, he decides to sell the tiny technology to Hydra and nobody wants tiny Germans running around. So, Pym trains Lang to handle the Ant-Man suit and from there we get giant ants, face punches and Michael Pena stealing the show.
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The action is beautifully augmented with the best 3D I’ve seen since Hugo, Avatar, Life of Pi and Jackass 3D. Tiny 3D trains are destroyed and a school for ants (small scale model) is blown to smithereens. The 3D world is awesome and I sat in the theater with my jaw agape loving every second of the tiny carnage. It is not everyday you see a tiny man running through an exploding architecture model while another tiny fellow shoots laser beams at him.
Ant-Man is a nice film about a nice man who has to become great. Paul Rudd is back in Clueless likable mode and he carries this film on his now bulked up shoulders. I love that Scott Lang understands the situation and that Pym treats him as an expendable. He has a daughter he wants to provide for and he takes the training, fights and ant riding in stride. The situation is bigger (and smaller) than him and Rudd adds appropriate awe, humor and sarcasm to the role.
Rudd isn’t forced to carry the show as he is joined by a fantastic crew of supporting characters. After stealing comedic scenes in 30 Minutes or Less and Observe and Report I’m glad the producers let Michael Pena go full crazy. His Ant-Man character may be underwritten but Pena shines in the best friend role and I hope it propels him into the mainstream. He has been great for a long time and after End of Watch and Fury he has proven he can do anything. Check out this 30 Minutes or Less clip and you will love the character immediately.
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Ant-Man expands the Marvel universe by making it smaller. It creates likable characters who will play an important part in the upcoming Avenger and Captain America films. I hope that Marvel continues to realize that likable characters are the main draw. Guardians of the Galaxy exploded because of the core crew and Robert Downey Jr. started a revolution by simply being himself. All the carnage doesn’t matter if you are not invested in the people battling the evil robots.
Ant-Man is a welcome addition to the Marvel Universe and I will gladly continue to shell out my money for further Ant exploits.
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The Best Fights of Horror: A Collection of Brawls featuring Spelunkers, Trolls and Euro Vampires
Hello all. Mark here.
The horror world is chock full of jerky creatures wiping out nubile co-eds. These poor people never had a chance as dream creatures, immortal hockey players and raisers of Hell crushed their skulls and spirits.
Yuck
These fights feature my favorite human vs. monster/vampire/troll battles. These folk didn’t back down and tried really hard to prevent themselves from becoming blood geysers. They stood up to insurmountable odds and occasionally survived against terrible odds. You have to appreciate people who put their neck on the line to prevent a greater evil from hurting the world.
Sidenote: It is because of the human/creature rule that this beautiful fight didn’t make the list.
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Sit back, relax and enjoy the following fights!
The Descent – The opening Crawler fight
This is the direction that director Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers, Doomsday) gave to the participants of the fights.
Neil: (to crawlers) Go for the neck. (to women) Don’t let them get your neck.
The fights were primal brawls that featured lots of flailing, blood and death. They weren’t drawn out and played believably. The opening fight between Juno and one of the crawlers was brilliant. The poor lady was struggling to save her friend from being dragged away and it resulted in a violent scrap for life. I left the theater out of breath and really stressed out. They don’t make urgent horror like this anymore.
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30 Days of Night – The townsfolk get wiped out
Tristan Sinns of Dread Central wrote a fantastic review for 30 Days of Night that was quoted by Roger Ebert. I will let Sinns sum up the fight.
The townsfolk’s fight to survive is a horrendous and passionate battle. There’s one shot in particular that is simply stunning; a bird’s eye view of a frozen street, panning slowly over the breadth of nearly the entire town, capturing a long and frenzied battle between the vampires and their victims. This shot goes on and on and does so much to impress the impact and scale of the devastation and horror faced by the small Alaskan town.
Drag Me To Hell – Car park throwdown
I beat you, you old bitch!
Leave it up to Sam Raimi to provide an entertaining brawl between an elderly gypsy woman and a young heroine. In one fight we get an old woman being stapled in the face, dentures exploding out of a mouth and a full on face gumming. It is a bonkers fight that is pure popcorn fun. Sam Raimi knows how to entertain and he adds levity to the horror which makes every fight surprising. I love every second of this fight and consider Drag Me To Hell to be my favorite horror film.
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Aliens – Pacific Rim but cooler
Get away from her you bitch.
I think it is awesome that Ripley would say this to a pissed off alien queen. This is one of the most iconic fight scenes ever. I love that Ripley put her neck on the line to battle an acid blooded and dagger tailed alien that was really pissed off. It set the standard for badass women and will never not be awesome.
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28 Days Later – Staircase beatdown
There isn’t too much to this fight but I love that it happens. Basically, Brendan Gleeson gets decked out in full riot gear and stands on top of a staircase waiting for the rage infested zombies to get to him. He lays a brutal beating on them and saves the heroes. Has he done this before? Has he adapted his strategy? It was a ballsy move and he didn’t have to help the travelers. I love 28 Days Later.
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Ernest Scared Stupid – Troll meets Miak and a large truck
How about a bumper sandwich booger lips!
Ernest and Trantor battle in schools, tree houses and on highways. They trade barbs, bruises and bad jokes. Ernest Scared Stupid is the only film to ever give me nightmares and this troll is a perfect example of an evil killing force. The director admitted to making this creature too scary and it shows as Trantor continually tries to murder Ernest in terrible ways. You gotta appreciate that Ernest hangs in there and unwittingly dances his way to victory.
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MY CALL: Neither gory nor exhilarating, if you don’t like slow-burns then you definitely won’t like this. However, if you’d enjoy a callback to atmospheric 70s-80s horror with a well-developed and endearing victim, then this is for you. MORE MOVIES LIKE House of the Devil: Slow-burns like It Follows (2014), Session 9 (2001) and The Innkeepers (2012).
This film has loads of different movie posters, many of which follow a more dated style.
“During the 1980s over 70% of American adults believed in the existence of abusive Satanic cults… Another 30% rationalized the lack of evidence due to government cover-ups… The following is based on true unexplained events.”
From the opening shot director Ti West (The Sacrament, The Innkeepers, Cabin Fever 2) transports us to what feels like 1980, a time of payphones and public bulletin boards with thumb-tacked want-ads. The score, film quality, wardrobe and even the credits simply ooze “VHS horror.” The film doesn’t just “look” old, it “feels” old. Like it’s been in a dusty box of tapes in a closet for the past 35 years.
As with It Follows (2014), we take our time getting to know and invest in our female lead, Samantha (Jocelin Donahue; Insidious Chapter 2). Her hair and delicate features remind me of a young Margot Kidder (Black Christmas) and, thus, a good victim. She rents a house from an all-too-kind landlord (cameo by Dee Wallace; The Howling, Cujo, Halloween) but desperately needs money to pay her rent.
West gives us a lot of subtle hints, and then some unsubtle ones in the spirit of the more obvious horror of the 80s. When Sam finds a “babysitter wanted” flyer, it’s surrounded by flyers/ads for watching the upcoming lunar eclipse. Later the radio and TV news harbinger the ominous eclipse. Add that to the babysitter trope, a house in the middle of nowhere and her friend (reluctant to leave Sam alone) finding the house and owner creepy and no one in the audience should have missed what’s going to happen.
The house is huge and remote. Its owner (Tom Noonan; Wolfen, RoboCop 2) is weird but polite, speaking of preparation for the eclipse to a suspicious degree. He clearly wants Sam alone in the house, protesting the presence of her friend. When Sam hesitates the old man offers her $200, $300, then $400 to watch over the house for a few hours while he and his wife (Mary Woronov; Warlock, Chopping Mall) are out. Sam’s friend says this is “too good to be true” and she should leave…she’s obviously right!
There’s a lot of exposition but it’s delivered tactfully enough; like a subtle delivery of blatant content, which also holds for the scares and gore, when present (though rare and skewed to the end).
The film moves at a slow pace and it tiptoes the line between slightly boring and provokingly interesting. I don’t mind, though. I’m digging the nostalgic atmosphere and West does a god job of getting us familiar with Samantha and her friend (Greta Gerwig). Several scenes endear them to viewers, my favorite being Sam’s cute scene dancing around the creepy house listening to a Walkman.
The payoff in the end is nothing we haven’t seen before (many times, in fact, in 70s occult horror), but again, I don’t mind. It’s creepy. And even though we saw it coming and very little happens until the very end, I enjoyed this for what it was. Honestly, I enjoyed the buildup in the first 60 minutes more than the payoff at the end. Some may even argue that the final act does the film’s first hour no justice. Despite this perhaps somewhat justified criticism, I felt the film was largely beautifully executed.
West wisely cast aside the CGI, overblown gore for shock value, nudity and over-exposition. He ignores the rules of modern horror success and contemporary tropes to instead resurrect the nigh-forgotten tropes of decades past as he breathes life into that 70s/80s style that never truly benefited from high production value back in its time. In short, West has created a “classic horror” film for a modern audience that has lost its patience with dated films—and I applaud him for it!
There’s actually nothing original at all in this film. However, West’s careful approach restores my faith in an overplayed genre.
Other actors to look for in this film: AJ Bowen (Chillerama, You’re Next, The Sacrament)
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The 2015 Mid-Year Random Awards: Best Nautical Themed Outfit, Belgian Beer and Squishy Noises
Hello all. Mark here.
The random awards are back and they are more random than ever! We here at MFF celebrate the random (check out our podcast) and always look to give the reader something different. Because of our adherence to different I want to celebrate 2015’s dancing, squishy noises, Belgian beer and unsafe sea beast enclosures.
Sit back, relax and enjoy the 2015 mid-year random awards.
Best battle involving war boys, onesie wearing guitar players and elderly female motorcyclists.
Mad Max: Fury Road is amazing. It is the best movie of 2015 so far and I loved the final battle.
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Best Villain who dresses like “a slutty dolphin trainer.”
Spy is the funniest movie of 2015. You kinda need to watch it. Rose Byrne continues her comedy hot streak and Jason Statham is pure gold.
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Jason Statham needs to do more comedy Award
With this bit of dialogue Statham became a comedy legend.
You really think you’re ready for the field? I once used defibrillators on myself. I put shards of glass in my eye. I’ve jumped from a high-rise building using only a raincoat as a parachute and broke both legs upon landing; I still had to pretend I was in a Cirque du Soleil show! I’ve swallowed enough microchips and shit them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and re-attached with this arm. During the threat of an assassination attempt, I appeared convincingly in front of congress as Barack Obama. I watched the woman I love get tossed from a plane and hit by another plane mid-air. I drove a car off a freeway on top of a train while it was on fire. Not the car, *I* was on fire.
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Best Fur Coat
Ben Mendelsohn in Slow West is my hero. I feel like the fur coat just formed around him one day.
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When searching for treasure in the Black Sea never allow Ben Mendelsohn to board the submarine award
Black Sea is a fun claustrophobic submarine movie that deserves a bigger audience. Kudos to Mendelsohn’s makeshift headband.
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Best erotic dance performed by a vampire
What We Do in the Shadows is the best vampire mockumentary ever made. You will love this movie.
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Best shooting of energy orbs that makes it look like you are a raver full of Red Bull
If Elizabeth Olsen’s character in Avengers: Age of Ultron got mad at a rave it would be lights out for all the poor dancers.
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Best dancing by a megalomaniac billionaire.
Ex-Machina is a fantastic film. Oscar Issac has never not been great.
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Least safe sea beast enclosure ever award
Why would anybody sit in the front rows at Jurassic World? How much does this thing eat? Why feed it great whites? Can it swim right up to the that beach?
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Best usage of Belgian beer
Kurt Russell is my hero. Furious 7 is #4 on the all-time worldwide box-office list. It is because of Kurt Russell (I have no proof to backup this claim). The guy is so good he knew Dominic would want Corona so he had a six pack waiting on ice.
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In 120 minutes you fit in eight air battles, one wedding, three rescues, 80 outfit changes, egg selling, Lizard henchmen, TV purchases, three dinners, bureaucracy, bounty hunters, double crosses, imprisonment, space orgies (10 seconds of footage, It took eight hours to film), bee attacks, toilet cleaning, almost space death, roller skating, expository dialogue (X8), wing growth and a whole lot more award.
I love Jupiter Ascending. It may be total gobbledygook but I love it.
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Best usage of Keegan-Michael Key calling people by the wrong name.
I could listen to Key’s character in Pitch Perfect 2 call Anna Kendrick “Reggie” all day.
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You dared to be optimistic award
Tomorrowland was an optimistic little thing that got written off because it was so optimistic. Please find a life on video.
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Best usage of a possessed teenager kicking off her leg casts (Think Kickboxer) and then walking on broken legs while crunching noises abound with each step.
Insidious 3 and Lin Shaye were very good. I normally dislike horror prequels and was pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be glorious (check out the pod for it here). You will love the crunchy leg scene.
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Best usage of squishy noises
Spring plays like Before Sunrise met Species and spawned a lot of squishy noises.
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Best DePalma homage involving a woman running around in high heels
It Follows is an original horror film that opens with a stellar cold open that is a calling card and love letter for director David Robert Mitchell.
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Sam Jackson is at his best when he plays a villain award
I love Kingsman. Sam Jackson and his lisp are pure gold. Also, he was amazing in Unbreakable.
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Best Bucket Holding Posture
Lily James is really really ridiculously likable. Cinderella is a fun live action remake that was a total cash grab but didn’t feel like a total cash grab.
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Best hiding of the word “Genisys”
Please don’t see the word “Genisys.” Please don’t see the word “Genisys.”
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I haven’t watched you yet but I hate you with all my soul (not me, the rest of the world) award.
Pretty much everyone on the planet hated Aloha before it came out. It is like John Carter all over again.
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I tried to explain your plot the other day and it ended up with two very confused people award
Predestination is a very good film. Just don’t try to break down the plot for your friends.
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Best nautical themed outfit worn by Benicio Del Toro.
Inherent Vice is a beautifully odd opus.
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MY CALL: This B-movie gets a solid A+. I love the gore and the zany creatures, and after a slow start the movie keeps stacking on the gore and lunacy more and more until the end. MOVIES LIKE Love in the Time of Monsters: Other horror comedies like Smothered (2014), Zombeavers (2014), Piranha 3D (2010), Slither (2006), Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010), Tremors (1990), Club Dread (2004)…and Blood Glacier (2013), although it takes a more serious approach to evil contamination of mother nature.
With all the style and subtlety of a summer camp slasher combined with a strong sense of self-aware satire, Love in the Time of Monsters sweeps horror fans away to a land of laughter. There are no scares to be had here–just gore and giggles. I’ll admit, I came in skeptical (and curious) and it took me a little while to figure out what kind of movie I was watching. Just know this, I love horror comedies and I grew to enjoy this film more and more as it revealed its nature to me.
Marla (Gena Shaw; Insomnium) and Carla (Marissa Skell; Sorority Party Massacre, Slumber Party Massacre) arrive to some tourist trap family vacation destination in the woods with cabins, fishing, hunting and buffet dining. Pretty much ‘Murica!!! The place is staffed by Lou (Kane Hodder; Wishmaster, Hatchet, Smothered) and his bigfoot suit-wearing entertainers.
The story takes root when one such furry entertainer is exposed to some contaminants. Subsequently, the other four fully-suited entertainers (including Kane Hodder) become infected with some sort of virus-thingy-whatever that makes them get slimy, put on their bigfoot masks, and become belligerent jerks that chase all unafflicted humans and eat their human flesh…sometimes…it’s not very consistent. LOL.
Now that we’ve delved into flesh-eating and what I can only describe as “mutant rage zombies” we should address the special effects and the apparently low budget. Whatever afflicts these bigfoot-costumed men is pretty simple to recognize by our now-hunted protagonists. A dash of ooze on the face, a couple of wart clusters on their face or neck and, oh yeah, they’re wearing bigfoot costumes. But this silly premise and low budget seem to be something to celebrate rather than ridicule. I was dazzled with glee when a bigfoot tore off a woman’s head with a dangling spinal cord in tow. It was sloppy and gory and it made me smile. It’s at about this point in the movie that I realized “this movie isn’t stupid, it’s FUN.” This film knows what it is and runs with it much to my pleasure.
Hey, bro. I think you’ve got an STD on your face.
All logic goes out the window in this film. A favorite scene of mine is when a bigfoot “sneaks up on a cop” by bum-rushing him in the middle of an open area and then projectile vomits face-melting acidic bile all over his face. Why can it do that? No clue (well, it’s quasi-explained later). But it’s a gore-slathered mess and I like it. Afterwards we get a Romero-esque rubber gut-ripping display and another guy has his face torn off and eyes popped out. Lots of gore. Pure joy.
What’s more is that this silly script and it’s often lame lines are delivered strikingly well. The acting rightly feels deliberately campy. I roll my eyes and grin at the lines, but the lines are intentionally delivered in such a manner as to bring about that very reaction. Everyone is hitting on everyone else, drug and alcohol placement is blatant, and some girl clumsily runs through the forest in high heels and lingerie. Oh, right, and some murderous afflicted men are killing people in bigfoot costumes. This is just plain silly. This film clearly has no illusions of being taken seriously by viewers. So if you’re taking this movie seriously and thinking “what am I watching and why am I watching it,” you’re doing it wrong!
All the characters have their overblown clichés and the film is stitched together with one farced trope after another. A favorite character of mine was the Sasquatch hunter Chester (Hugo Armstrong; Coherence). He’s weird and played with a straight face but has some of the funniest lines…”A woman on the radio in the gentle forest silence…It’s like diarrhea in a kiddy pool” and “I couldn’t leave you running around in the dark like that, so…I shot you.”
This happens… A lodge entertainer goes full throttle while trying to create a diversion.
There’s a simple brilliance behind the bigfoot costumes. Without them, we’d have slimy warty jerks as antagonists. It would have looked stupid; it would have been stupid. Lord knows I’ve seen enough lousy student films helmed by visionless filmmakers. But with these silly costumes we are given something to laugh at and playfully mock instead of sneer at and hatefully criticize.
Speaking of silly, completely out of nowhere a doctor in a felt Abraham Lincoln beard (Doug Jones; John Dies at the End, Absentia) explains that the cause of the affliction is a combination of medical and pharmaceutical waste and some bacteria giving the men irregular strength and pain tolerance. He explains that they will continue to get stronger, faster and meaner until they die from overcharging their body. How Dr. Lincoln could know this is beyond me. This was just another utterly ridiculous nugget that made this silly movie work in its own way. Oh, and he can make an antidote…because he’s an expert in medicine, toxicology, pharmacology, and pretty much everything else and can conduct ground-breaking science in an hour with whatever is on hand at a vacation lodge in his office.
So far this movie is pretty fun, but there’s room to grow. But just then, in the spirit of Blood Glacier (2013) we encounter a mutant rage zombie moose, mutant rage zombie trout swimming upstream, and a flock of mutant rage zombie geese. Again, these effects are not necessarily good, but they are abundant and easily “good enough” and most importantly they are FUN. The real treat comes at the end…mutant rage zombie squirrels!!! They swarm lodge entertainer Brandi (Heather Rae Young; Chillerama), strip her naked while biting her all over, and make roaring sounds. Then, as if combining “The Cat from Hell” (Tales from the Darkside: The Movie) with Alien (1979), one of them forces itself down her throat and then tears out of her chest between her breasts, ringing the dinner bell for the bigfoot gang to chow down on some bloody, gut-covered boobs.
Because mutant squirrel zombies roar. LOL
Things are really getting out of hand at this point. Then, out of nowhere, the “real” bigfoot shows up (with a moderately more convincing costume than the mutant age zombies) and battles the electrically charged Kane Hodder mutant rage zombie. Then zombie raccoons, a moose and roaring squirrels show up for a final fight battle montage. This is nuts.
This movie is loads of fun and the moment you think you’ve hit the climax of the excitement it gives you more zany, gory madness again and again. Give this fine slapstick horror comedy a chance.
Let the filmmakers (http://www.tbcfilms.com/) know what you thought on Twitter: @UncleSlavko & @gunnforhire
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Hello all. Mark here.
Goon is one of my favorite films. It is infinity rewatchable and loaded with likable characters, bone crunching fights and a really neat romance. The book adaptation flew under the radar in 2011 and I love that it has built up an audience. It is the rare R-rated hockey enforcer comedy that is critically loved (82% RT) and adored by non-hockey fans. We here at MFF have written about it ad nauseam but with the sequel currently in production I had to write another post.
The Boys Are Back in Ice Town!
1. The Hebrew Dolph Lundgren
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I love the character of Doug Glatt. He is an earnest wrecking ball who realizes his limitations and enjoys being the muscle for his team. Sean William Scott’s underrated performance blends kindness, intelligence, naivety, and badass into a three-dimensional ball of muscle. There is no condescension and Jay Baruchel’s and Evan Goldberg’s writing create a likable bruiser who is in no way a bully. He is a nice dude who has no delusions of grandeur and uses his power for good. He is the type of guy who has a wild brawl and says “Good fight. He’s a nice guy.”
When he deserves a beating he takes it, his love for corndogs is unabashed and he has no problem beating up six people at once.
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2. The Relationship
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Everything Alison Pil’s character Eva (It’s like the Bible with a bit more mustard on it) does is pure gold. I love her reactions and annoyance at following for the earnest bruiser. She loves that he can beat up pretty much anybody and no matter how honest she is he still adores her.
Eva: I’m a slut, Doug. I’m horny a lot. I sleep around. That doesn’t bother you?
Doug Glatt: The truth is, I just… I have a really huge crush on you.
I love that Pil’s character is in charge of her life and is accepting of it. I’ve never seen a character like hers and I hope she is back for the sequel.
Watch her reactions in this clip. Fantastic.
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3. Kim Coates the Coach
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If I played hockey and Kim Coates was my coach I would be stoked. After Sons of Anarchy it is hard to remember that Coates is a normal dude who isn’t in to some really weird stuff. Coach Ronnie Hortense commands respect and comes across as a really good dude. He is like a father figure to Doug and isn’t afraid to call him on his shit. If you inserted him into any hockey movie I guarantee he would make that team better.
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4. The Team
They are a ragtag group of alcoholics, Russians and dudes who love Percocet. I dig how they all come from opposing walks of life and are treating this team as a pit stop, last stop or something that pays their med school bills. There is a moment when Doug takes a massive beating to win a game and when the buzzer goes off his team skates out and beats the snot out of the opposing team. They start off as a motley crew and end up as a motley crew that have each other’s backs. You gotta love their introduction as well.
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5. The Diner Scene
Stephen Holden of The New York Times summed up Sean William Scott’s and Leiv Schreiber’s performances perfectly with this quote:
It must be said that Mr. Scott and Mr. Schreiber convey an intelligence that belies their characters’ stupidity, a quality that is really hard to feign.
Leiv Schreiber is perfect as the foil Ross Rhea. He gets his enforcer role and has become a deeply cynical man. You can tell he loves the sport and is actually looking forward to fighting Glatt. Schreiber was perfectly cast because he exudes badass and out does Russell Crowe in the mustache department. He takes a one-note bad guy and adds three-dimensions.
I love the old school meets new school vibe of the diner scene. There is a respect and annoyance to the proceedings. The best part about the diner scene is that it is really well shot, lit and acted. I love this movie.
Kid, you got this thing. The stuff. The sh*t. The f**kin’ grit, you got it, like me. But like me, that’s all you f**kin’ got. And like me, you’re no good to anyone doing anything else. All I’m saying is don’t go trying to be a hockey player. You’ll get your f**kin’ heart ripped out.
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Hello all. Mark here.
The Audible sponsored MFF pod is back! We want to thank everyone for pushing us to the “What’s Hot” section on Itunes and we promise to keep bringing the educated randomness, Kurt Russell facts and slightly answered questions
You can download the pod on Itunes or you can head to the Sharkdropper website to stream the pod!
This week I picked the 15 best action moments since 2000 and we dove into the topic like McConaughey dove into certain death in Reign of Fire.
The dude jumped like 20 feet off of a platform while holding a 45 pound axe. #legit
No stone is left unturned (or spin kicked) as we discuss The Raid, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Hot Fuzz, Gladiator, Bourne Identity, Transporter, The Rundown, The Last Stand and Casino Royale.
Daniel Craig introduced his Bond to the world by running through a wall.
We also slightly answer these questions:
1. Who wins in a fight? Critters or Ghoulies?
2. What if you moved away from Elm Street?
3. How many Final Destinations will it take to get to the Final Destination?
You can download the pod on Itunes or you can head to the Sharkdropper website to stream the pod.
Enjoy. Rate. Share. Review. Share. Thanks!
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