“My Father’s Day Movie Tribute” to my father
It’s Father’s Day. So I thought I’d share some of my fondest movie experiences that I had with my father. Some kids write cards. I write movies articles…
Total Recall (1990). Okay, I know. Not a very “father’s day” sort of movie. But let me explain…
I would spend several weeks with my father in Florida every summer in my youth. It was mid-June in 1990 and I was 9 ½ years old when my father decided to take me to see Total Recall. Now, I know what you’re thinking…it was 1990, before the internet and mainstream swearing on TV desensitized children, I was not even 10, so what was my dad thinking taking me to see this? In his defense, the summer before we went to New York and I saw Evil Dead 2 (1987) with my uncles and I had already seen A Nightmare on Elm Street 4 (1988) with another uncle. I loved both! So it was safe to say I was fine with on-screen violence and blood.
Anyway, my dad took me to see a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger, a three-breasted woman, aliens, lots of killing, the grossest Siamese twin ever, Sharon Stone and the best Arnold spazz-out scene ever (when he’s dying in the atmosphere of Mars). I remain eternally grateful as this likely had an impact on making a movie nerd out of me.
As if that wasn’t enough, as we were exiting the theater we encountered my Godfather and his wife and son (who was 12 or 13 at the time). They, too, were on their way to see Total Recall as we were on our way out. So…we snuck in and watched it AGAIN.
So I got a double dose of polymastic aliens, screaming Arnold, wrestling Sharon Stone and Kuato the slimy creepy beer gut alien doing a palm reading.
Best summer ever with the best dad ever. LOL.
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)
A great flick for loads of random laughs. If you haven’t seen Steve Martin play Ruprict the monkey boy then you’ve missed out! I’d say this is Martin at his best and Caine at his standard greatness.
The humor holds up for me, even decades later. But even funnier is watching my father’s elated reactions to the movie. He laughs before the funny things even happen sometimes.
Love Actually (2003).
This movie really affected me. I was 22 and I thought I’d be single for life…and then this movie infused a sense of longing into my bloodstream. So many great actors in such likable roles finding love in unexpected places, rediscovering love and humility, or recognizing how they have wronged each other (and then trying to make up for it).
And The Walking Dead‘s Rick Grimes is in it!!!! Pre-zompocalypse, of course–no beard.
This was the movie that got me to like Hugh Grant (and all his movies) and to value Alan Rickman for more than his villainous Hans Gruber. The cameos were numerous (Shannon Elizabeth, January Jones, Elisha Cuthbert) and the Martin Freeman’s before-he-was-famous story was so sincere while comically masked in nudity.
This looks inappropriate. However, these scenes are actually quite sweet, featuring a kind and soft spoken Martin Freeman making small talk with his crush and eventually asking her out.
And how about Hugh Grant’s adorable dance scene:
I saw this film four times in theaters. Once by myself, twice with friends, and a fourth time with my dad. Why? Well, I loved the movie soooo much (one of my favorites, really) and I wanted the people closest in my life to see it—even if that meant seeing it four times in a month!
I love horror, gore, action, explosion, effects and biceps…yet I also felt touched by this movie. Give it a shot. Maybe watch it with your father.
Car Wash (1976) is one of those zany movies that works better when you are of the age to have seen it right when it came out. I’d say the same for the Cheech and Chong movies.
Featuring Richard Pryor and George Carlin, two of the dirtiest mouths of their time. Love them.
When I visit my father he may suggest watching one of these (since I bought them all for him) and often it’s only as a last resort that I succumb. These flicks are my dad’s guilty pleasure. Car Wash especially.
A River Runs Through It (1992)
Touching moments of brotherhood, fatherhood, family and a simpler time…This one makes me miss my family, especially my father, but only in the best of ways. Since I live over 1000 miles away from them it’s very much as if I am on a desert island. Robert Redford’s direction and wisely prosaic narration spin a soothing tale rich with quote-worthy lines.
This movie exudes beauty both emotionally and in its cinematography. Not to mention great performances by Brad Pitt, Tom Skerritt, and perhaps Craig Scheffer’s best performance ever.
I only watch this movie with my father, and only about once every few years. But if he asked, I’d watch it with him every day. Were I to find myself the last man on Earth with only one film to keep me company and the memories of watching it with my father, I’d never feel alone. Not for a moment. I love you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.
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Hello all. Mark here.
More beer and MFF podcasts!
The Audible sponsored MFF pod is back! We want to thank everyone for pushing us to the “What’s Hot” section on Itunes and we promise to keep bringing the educated randomness, Kurt Russell facts and slightly answered questions.
We dedicated this pod to the world of Midnight Monster movies. These B-movie gems allow Wolves to be cops and Raptors to be equipped with lasers. We talk about Kung Fury, Zombeavers, WolfCop and the best cinematic beavers (nothing dirty!). As always our conversations go off the rails and into the glorious land of randomness. We promise that MFF is the only place that comes up with a film called “Three toed Sleuth.”
You can download the pod on Itunes or you can head to the Sharkdropper website to stream the pod.
Enjoy. Rate. Share. Review. Share. Thanks!
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The Best Transformation Scenes of Horror, Part 1: Tales from the Darkside (1990), Zombeavers (2014) and Wolfcop (2014)
NSFW NSFW NSFW
This article is rich with images you do not want your boss to see when he’s looking over your shoulder at work. View at your own risk.
Transformation scenes are often the coolest things we see in horror films–especially when they’re executed with practical effects. Some of my favorite transformation scenes are also the most gory and brutal. So today I’m highlighting some transformations in which the “new form” (be it a werewolf or otherwise) pushes its way out of the “old” (human) form.
The Company of Wolves (1984)
These are gory, abrupt and to the point; like the human skin was just an ill-fitting suit entrapping a monster. This same approach has been used before and many times since. The first film (that comes to mind anyway) using this transformation method was The Fly (1986). Now I know what you’re thinking, Brundelfly’s transformation was a slow mutation and his human form was almost gorily “molted” off as would be done by an insect. However, the final phase involved tearing through his own chrysalised flesh as if it were some sort of walking, talking pupation stage. The same tactic was utilized for the werewolf flick The Company of Wolves (1984) and The Howling (1981), and far later by the werewolf character from Hemlock Grove (2013-present; Netlfix show).
The Howling (1981)
In kind of a funky way, this tactic was used by Freddy Krueger when he turned a tough teen into a roach in A Nightmare on Elm Street 4 (1988). While on the topic of Freddy, he turns into a lot of things–basically never featuring transformation scenes. Shame.
The Thing (1982), which offers unpredictably protean changes in which chest cavities become bear trap-like toothy maws and self-detaching heads grow eye stalks and spider legs and crawl away. Or Society (1989), in which there is a ton of transformation but very little of it being witnessed and it is more in the form of merging/melding people together in inordinately macabre manners. That said, the horrific practical effects were delightful.
But enough of this banter. Here are a few transformations that I really enjoyed. Stay tuned for future installments in this series of articles…
Tales from the Darkside (1990), the short story Lover’s Vow.
Lover’s Vow features a man who swears a vow of secrecy to a gargoyle to keep its existence a secret. When he breaks this vow, it turns out that the women he married (who he met the same night he took the gargoyle’s vow) is actually the gargoyle!!! What’s sick here isn’t the fact that they had two children together, but rather that–upon breaking the vow–the gargoyle tears its way out of its human skin (again, his wife’s skin!!!) to punish the oathbreaking husband. Enjoy the imagery:
Just tore right our of her. I like it.
Zombeavers (2014)
Admittedly, this transformation scene is less transformative (perhaps largely due to budgetary limitations). But the claws and teeth form in the right manner for my theme today. This is also probably not one of the truly “best” transformation scenes in terms of quality or detail, but it made up for it with silliness and unexpectedness. I think it deserves to be here.
Quite a pleasure was the transformation of a bitten girl into a werebeaver zombie (or werezombeaver?)—not unlike what happened in Black Sheep (2006). These infected victims behave as if they caught a beavered up version of the Evil Dead’s (2013) contagious zombie-demonism. After being infected, a young woman twerks her tail—YES, she grew a beaver tail—and terrorizes her friends with her buck teeth which pushed their way through her front teeth. She even bites off a guy’s penis in the spirit of Piranha 3D (2010). Yikes!
In the MoviesFilmsandFlix Podcast Episode 17, we discuss the transformation scene of Zombeavers (2014) in gruesome detail. So please tune in and enjoy.
Wolfcop (2014)
This is here for its “Holy Shit Factor.” This film is pure lycanthropic lunacy and the gritty, sloppily gory painfulness of the transformation scene will bring sophomoric glee to your inner gorehound. Faces split and are torn away, slaws erupt from fingertips and skin sloughs off like mange in this slapstick werewolf flick. The worst is what happens to his manhood…in the MoviesFilmsandFlix Podcast Episode 17, we discuss the transformation scene Wolfcop (2014) in gruesome detail. These images hardly do it justice:
I hope you enjoyed these gore-slathered movie memories and perhaps you have been directed to new things you need to see for yourself.
CLICK HERE to go to “Best Transformations” PART 2
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I love the Insidious series because it plays like a roller coaster built on top of a fun house that was placed upon an active volcano. The three films are super low-budget marvels that rely upon practical effects, smart decisions and fantastic cardigans.
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The Insidious world excels in creating likable characters and introducing original bad guys (very important). It may have started as a Poltergeist knockoff but it is becoming its own juggernaut. The third film is missing James Wan’s (Conjuring, Saw, Fast 7) horror maestro touch but director/writer Leigh Whannell steps in admirably. This prequel is a massive step up from the terrible Annabelle and features some truly memorable moments.
Insidious 3 revolves around a family being harassed by an absolute form of jerky evil. The family is in mourning after the mother/wife passed away and one night the daughter tried to reach out to her via seance. However, in the Insidious world if you call out for one person every spirit/demon can hear you. An evil spirit attached himself to her and begins to reign hell upon the family. This leads them to reach out to the MVP’s of the Insidious world Specs (Whannell), Tucker (Angus Sampson) and Elise Rainer (Lin Shaye).
If you’ve watched the first two films you’ve grown to love this trio who imbue the proceedings with humor, warmth and heart. These three people do not need to rid the populace of evil demons. They put themselves in danger for the greater good and willingly put their souls up for grabs. Elise’s story line is especially neat because every time she enters the Further she puts her life on the line. I love how she still goes into the land of smoke and dark hallways when there is a crazy “lady” in black waiting to choke her to death.
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Insidious 3 relies heavily upon the infamous horror trope called jump scares. Normally, I would be annoyed at the shock tactic that uses quick cuts, loud music and big bumps to illicit jumps. However, because Insidious is so aware of its fun house appeal the jump scares actually work. It was a blast sitting in the theater and listening to the packed house jump, squirm and scream along as poor Quinn (Stefanie Scott) is constantly harassed by the demon who can’t breathe.
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The biggest surprise is that I actually liked this prequel. Normally I find myself annoyed at the over explanation of plot, character and evil (Think The Thing, Halloween, Paranormal Activity, Texas Chainsaw). However, this film adds to the Insidious lore and doesn’t hurt it. The world is expanded and not stuck in a corner. It makes perfect sense that evil denizens of The Further would harass people around the world. I also like how it shows the beginning of a beautiful friendship between Specs, Tucker and Elise.
Insidious 3 is a fantastic surprise the features an elderly female hero, many scares and successful world building. I am on board for the fourth film and can’t wait for further exploits of Tucker, Specs and Elise.
Check out John’ review to read a roller coaster of a review. Does he like it? Does he dislike it? Does he simultaneously like and dislike it?
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Dogs in Horror Movies, Part 1: Zombeavers (2014), Blood Beach (1980) and The Boogens (1981)
“Animals in horror” has always been a fun topic to address. Today I want to talk about dogs. Dogs are very versatile tools in horror movies. The dog can be the evil antagonist, a pet or minion of the bad guy, a harbinger of danger (serving more as a storytelling device than a character) or as a heroic character. Today I have randomly chosen to highlight 3 horror movie dogs in no particular reason and with no particular theme. Enjoy…
Zombeavers (2014); Gosling the Jack Russell Terrier. Now, dogs are typically heroic in horror movies–even if their heroism leads to their demise. But this poor pup never stood a chance with these jerks.
So the 20-something victims and their dog are stranded on a dock-raft on a lake besieged by zombie beavers. In an effort to create a diversion, some jerky bro throws his girlfriend’s dog in the water to serve as a decoy and draw away the zombeavers so that he could safely swim to shore. He SACRIFICED the dog!!!! That’s like pure evil.
The poor dog (Gosling) gets eaten. The offending bro gets his when he has his scrotum bitten off by a werezombeaver! Even the guy’s friend, the buffoon wearing the knit winter hat while swimming in a lake in summer, gets his. He has his foot bitten off and later he also turns into a werezombeaver. Yes! I said a werezombeaver. Like a werewolf, but a were-zombie-beaver. That’s a thing now people…and an appropriate punishment, I think.
That poor dog. SMH.
Blood Beach (1980)
In the opening scene a lady is walking her dog on the beach and she is pulled into the sand by some “thing” which we later learn is a giant scrotum flower monster. As she is pulled down screaming, far before the release of Tremors (1990) by the way, her dog frantically barks for help.
A cat would have just watched her with contempt. I’m just saying dogs are better pets in horror movies, that’s all.
Sadly, the dog is later found dead and beheaded near a small sinkhole in the sand. However, the police pathologist claims that the dog’s head was not cut off but literally pulled off by something with “long strong fingers and very sharp fingernails.” Essentially, it is only because of the dog that we have any reason to suspect an inhuman culprit. So, in a round-about way, the dog was a major help in the investigation. Go, dogs!!!
Moving on…
The Boogens (1981)
This golden oldie features likable characters and some pesky little tentacle monsters that are never explained. It’s really just for those who appreciate great dog characters and the slow-burns of the 70s and 80s in which you don’t see the monster until the very end.
Tiger, the dog character, is used very well. Most dogs in horror movies just bark at basement doors and harbinger the presence of a slasher in unlit hallways, often causing distractions leading to their owners’ demise. Tiger actually helps develop the viewers’ relationship with the main characters. He’s a cute dog and he gets many of his own scenes; you’ll like him. Most notable among the dog scenes was after the dog investigated the monster and was killed…
This dog owner is dumb! Yes, by all means, move in for a closer look at whatever rended the metal floor grating. Whatever it was, it couldn’t possibly do the same to you!
I mean, you saw THIS [above] and it looks like your dog’s hair is on it…
So this dog WAS here…and now it’s NOT…but its fur is on the grating. I wonder what could have happened…
This chick had it coming. She probably wasn’t even a good dog owner.
In loving memory of Tiger.
Stay tuned for more Dogs in Horror…
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Hello all. Mark here.
I recently unleashed part one of my 25 favorite performances of this decade (so far) list. It was a random collection of random performances that formed an eclectic mix. I was stoked to see the support for the post and I was pleasantly surprised at all the Paul Walker Hours love. It has been fun writing the post because I’ve been able to revisit some amazing performances. It was surprisingly easy picking out my ten favorite because I’ve been championing these roles for a long time. They’ve stood out from the pack and transcended what could be stock characters. What I love is the performances seem effortless but must have been grueling. I am still amazed at what these actors were able to accomplish as they took solid material, put their spin on it and created some amazing performances.
Here are the top 10! Enjoy!
10. Jason Clarke – Zero Dark Thirty
Whenever Clarke pops up in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Lawless, White House Down, Great Gatsby or Terminator: Genysis I always think “Dan from Zero Dark Thirty!” Clarke’s role as a CIA intelligence officer is a fantastic example of an actor at the top of his game. I loved the way Dan comes across as a “bro” in the interrogation room until he starts waterboarding you. This guy is amazing at his job and he knows how to deal with each suspect differently. Dan is scary, monstrous, charming, intelligent, driven and can blend in anywhere. The way he switches on and off between interrogations speaks wonders of Clarke’s performance . With his limited screen time Jason Clarke stole the show.
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9. Charlize Theron – Mad Max: Fury Road
Imperator Furiosa is a marvel of a creation. In the six months that Charlize Theron spent filming in the African desert she and George Miller created a character for the ages. She is a one-armed badass who has no problem going head to head with a guy called Immortan Joe. She drives a massive war rig, commands respect from her subordinates, battles Mad Max and can shoot a gun like a pro. Charlize Theron is one of my favorite actresses and I loved her in Young Adult, Arrested Development and Mad Max. In movies like Prometheus and Snow White and the Huntsman she was stuck in the icy villain role. In Max, Furiosa has a warmth to her that goes along with her effortless badass.
What I love most about Theron’s performance was nothing was forced. Sometimes when tasked with playing a post-apocalyptic war rig driver the actor would go over the top with bluster, bitchiness and a weird deep voice. Theron’s Furiosa wears her heart on her sleeve and doesn’t quite know what she is getting into. She is obviously respected by her peers and Immortan Joe respects her enough to send his entire War Boy party after her. Furiosa at times seem close to tears but has no problem skeet shooting the foes that come at her.
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8. Cate Blanchett – Blue Jasmine
She is like a southern gothic novel heroine come to life and starring in a movie called A Streetcar Named Blue Jasmine. Blanchett’s performance is on a level that pretty much nobody can reach. She deserved the Oscar and owned every second of this film. Her mental decline is a thing of beauty as Blanchett juggles intelligence, stupidity, stubborness and insanity in rapid succession. I will let Roger Ebert sum up the performance.
Blanchett fabulously goes above and beyond her duties as the wilting faux flower of the title. From her sweat-drenched underarms during a particularly intense meltdown to her mesmerizing slit-eyed sensuality whenever Jasmine gets her way, the actress is a tour-de-force tinted-blonde tornado that elevates her every encounter with a member of the movie’s estimable ensemble.
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7. Brendan Gleeson – Calvary
Calvary starts with a confessional scene in which Brendan Gleeson’s character Father James is given a week to live. The camera holds on Gleeson’s face as his potential killer tells him to get his affairs in order. The killer hates the church because of past sexual molestation and wants to take it out on a good man. What follows is a beautifully bleak film that is wholly original and remarkable.
Father James is a good man who came to faith later on in life. He is a widower, former alcoholic and father of a troubled yet loyal daughter. You can tell he won’t take any sh*t yet is too smart to allow himself to be shaken. He has come from a rough life and that is what makes him so effective as a priest. There isn’t judgement in his eyes. He understands the world yet you can see that it tires him.
Brendan Gleeson is amazing in Calvary.
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6. Steve Coogan/Rob Brydon – The Trip
The Trip was a wonderful surprise. It topped my list of favorite 2011 films and is a mainstay on my Netflix queue. Watching Rob Brydon and Steve Coogan bicker for 90 minutes while traveling though Northern England never gets old. Their impersonations and understanding of each other make for a dynamic duo who have been perfecting their shtick since 2005’s Tristram Shandy. The two are so immensely likable that you could spend hours listening to their Michael Caine impersonations.
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5. Emily Blunt/Tom Cruise – Edge of Tomorrow
Emily Blunt was an effortless badass who wasn’t simply a Tom Cruise love interest. Her character wasn’t a plot device and I loved that. She imbued a soul and personality into a character that was stuck in what seems like a very uncomfortable costume. What I love about the performance is that you 100% bought every moment of alien smooshing and Tom Cruise killing. Blunt gave humor, physicality and stoicism to a character that could have easily been one-note.
Tom Cruise did something that many A-listers won’t do. He played a big time weasel who dies many times, get squished often and takes a backseat to a badass partner. There wasn’t much ego to the role and I loved how his character changed so dramatically. After Jack Reacher I was worried that Cruise had become so ego-inflated that he was untouchable in films. However, Edge of Tomorrow was a course correction that proved Cruise had no problem sounding silly whilst being crushed by a truck.
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4. Tilda Swinton – Snowpiercer, We Need to Talk About Kevin, Only Lovers Left Alive
Tilda Swinton is amazing in everything. In Snowpiercer she is a bonkers right hand man to a bonkers train conductor. In Only Lovers Left Alive she is the definition of cool as an ancient vampire. In We Need To Talk About Kevin she is a white-collar suburban mom who is stuck raising an evil little punk. The roles differ greatly and are all characterized by totally different traits. Swinton can be weird, earthy, chill, evil, frustrated, motherly and hostile. She has been this decades MVP.
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3. Sean William Scott – Goon
Doug Glatt is an earnest wrecking ball that has a heart of gold and fists of fury. He fights for his team, respects women and will take a punch to the face when he deserves it. Goon is one of my favorite films and it is anchored by a heartfelt Sean William Scott performance. You can tell Scott believes in the role and you believe in him 100%. The character could exist in the real world and you cheer for Doug Glatt as he fights his way up to the big leagues.
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2. Brendan Gleeson/Don Cheadle – The Guard
You know, I can’t tell if you’re really motherf**kin’ dumb, or really motherf**kin’ smart.
With these immortal words you fall in love with The Guard. Don Cheadle and Brendan Gleeson look like they loved every second they spent together on-screen. Brendan Gleeson plays Sgt. Jerry Boyle who teams up with Cheadle’s Agent Everett to take down some literate criminals. Their banter and frustration with each other is amazing and I still have no clue why Cheadle wears his fantastic suits in small Irish pubs. You will love every second of Jerry trying to piss off Everett while they hunt down snarky criminals. Just imagine Cheadle and Gleeson during this exchange.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: I have two boys. Stocken is five years old and Hughie has just turned three months old. I’ve got a picture of them.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Don’t want to see it.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: Excuse me?
Boyle: I don’t want to see it. Babies all look the same. The only time a baby doesn’t look like every other baby is when it’s a really ugly baby. So unless you’re about to show me a photo of a really ugly baby then I don’t want to see it.
Everett: That’s pretty f**king rude.
Boyle: Maybe it is maybe it isn’t.
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1. Michael Shannon/Jessica Chastian – Take Shelter
Take Shelter is a heartbreaking film about a man trying to protect his family. Is the world ending or is he getting his first symptoms of genetic paranoid schizophrenia? Take Shelter glued me to my seat and I sat through the credits trying to absorb what I had just watched. Jeff Nichols (Shotgun Stories, Mud) is a unique director who has a firm grasp of blue-collar life and the importance of family. His direction alongside the performances of Michael Shannon and Jessica Chastain create a wrenching film that lingers long in your memory. The final song by Ben Nichols is heartbreaking as well. Take Shelter is cinema at its most beautiful and absorbing.
Michael Shannon and Jessica Chastain are incredible in this film. They find the right balance of compassion, paranoia, frustration and dedication. The final moment of the film always puts a tear in my eye and I’m still amazed that Chastain and Shannon are able to capture so much with no dialogue.
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What performances do you love? Let me know!
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John’s Horror Corner: Insidious: Chapter 3 (2015), another exceedingly creepy chapter in this franchise.
MY CALL: I consider this movie a major disappointment in terms of storytelling. But it certainly has its merits in the creepy and scary department. Watch at your own risk. MOVIES LIKE Insidious: Chapter 3: Poltergeist (2015), Insidious (2010) and Insidious Chapter 2 (2013).
I am not a fan of these films. If you are, I strongly recommend reading Mark’s reviews of the Insidious films instead of mine. Mine will probably just upset you…much as this franchise continues to upset me. I enjoy these franchise films for creepiness and scares but abhor their poor storytelling. 
The Insidious franchise has never done much for me. Some people love it and praise these films up and down as the next best thing…I’m not one of them. Directed by James Wan (Saw, Dead Silence, The Conjuring), the first installment (2010) succeeded in introducing us to fantasticly written and acted characters for whom we cared, great shots and stellar scares–but somehow to its detriment, the movie felt like three different movies forced together one after the other. It began like a mix between a weird haunting and a Lifetime movie about a home invader, moved on to some really cool build up as we learn what the problem is, and them degenerates into great scares but off-kilter storytelling as we dive into The Further. This could have been done splendidly, but I found no sense of smoothness in the transitions; individual scenes felt strong but they struck me as hastily sutured together to form a Fankensteinian stitch-work horror of storytelling. In its defense most of the cast was amazing, however the story lacked any sense of synthesis and the overexplanation of The Further (and simply trying to show it to us rather than leaving it a mystery) really depleted my interest in the film.
Insidious Chapter 2 (2013; also directed by James Wan) continued to follow Patrick Wilson (The Conjuring) and Rose Byrne (28 Weeks Later) down an even more shakily-told storyline whose tone inexplicably shifted to near farcical at times with an insanely possessed Patrick Wilson grinning like the mounted Evil Dead 2 deer head. I liked parts of Chapter 1 very much, but nothing about Chapter 2 brought me any pleasure and I was hardly entertained. Despite the presence of solid actors and a proven director, I was relieved to hear that Wan was stepping back for Chapter 3 and that we would start anew with a largely different cast.
Now with a new first-time director (Leigh Whannell, who wrote the first two installments), we venture into this incredibly unnecessary prequel which serves little more purpose than to re-introduce us to the psychic medium Elise (Lin Shaye; Ouija, A Nightmare on Elm Street), show us how she teamed up with her paranormal investigator Geek Squad duo, re-visit The Further, and tell us a new story. It pains me (but doesn’t shock me) to say that in all these endeavors this film failed–however, the female characters and general creepiness make this more than simply watchable.
The budget is low and this is most obvious during the scenes in The Further. I maintain the film didn’t need to take us there and “show” us The Further again, or in the first place.
Insidious Chapter 3 suffers from the same snags as the Poltergeist (2015) remake. From the start these films assume we already care instead of giving us a good reason to care. Sure, you can show me a struggling widower raising his kids or a family facing some hard times. But you don’t earn my sympathy and manifest urgency just by putting that on screen and then dropping these families into bad supernatural situations–and that’s all we get here.
Hey, Elise? Did you find the soul of the story in there? It seems that a demon stole the soul and life from this plot.
Teenager Quinn (Stefanie Scott) helps her struggling father (Dermot Mulroney; The Grey, Stoker) to take care of the house and her younger brother. Their dynamic is stale but we understand the situation and its challenges well. We learn that after the loss of her mother Quinn tried to “contact” her spirit and, in doing so, caught the attention of something insidious.
Quinn and her father end up seeking the help of Elise, our recurring franchise medium who also has her very own insidious demon’s maligned attention (The Bride in Black from Chapters 1 & 2) from trying to contact her dead husband. Specs (Leigh Whannell; Cooties, Saw) and Tucker (Angus Sampson; Mad Max: Fury Road) return and here is where they first team up with Elise.
The evil spirit after Quinn is The Man Who Can’t Breathe. A disturbing sight to be sure, this antagonist adds a major creep factor and some significant scares. To that end, I’ll say that the insidious spirits of all three films have always been exceedingly successful at making audiences uneasy and it is for this reason that—however much I whine about them—I’ll go see every Insidious film they make. The greatest (if only) success of this film is the creepy tone and its ability to catch me off guard with good jump scares. Not simply loud noises. But jump scares–but well-staged jump scares arriving after a creepy, tense build-up. Kudos for that. Being a grumpy critic at times, this really kept me from regretting the film.
An evil spirit steals “half her soul.” HALF! Really? We’re meant to just let that one go. Okay, fine. Which half?
Was it the half that had the better writing for this film?
I was especially reeling with discomfort during the scene (NO SPOILER here, it was in the trailer) when the possessed Quinn kicks her leg casts to crumbs and then walks on them…with bone crunching sounds. Yikes! So wrong! Painful to watch.
Sadly, the abrupt turns in the story (many of which leading to dead-end characters we never should have met or notions that add nothing to the story) left me with a bad taste in my mouth and a finale that wasn’t satisfying. But Elise and Quinn were both well-played and, upon further reflection, this will remain in my eyes an excellent scary movie night, popcorn flick.
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We hope you enjoyed our previous episode: The George A. Romero Zombie Special.
SUMMARY: This week the MFF crew discusses the spectacular George Miller action-gasm Mad Max: Fury Road (2015), share a general disgust for the Poltergeist (2015) remake while reminiscing the 1982 original, and answer silly Friday the 13th questions about Jason Voorhees and Camp Crystal Lake. This episode is pretty much nothing but spoilers and loads of smarmy comments. You have been warned. 😉
We also answer such important questions as…
“Why we’re worried about The Rock reprising Kurt Russell’s role in the possible Big Trouble in Little China remake?”
“Why on Earth do they keep re-opening Camp Crystal Lake?”
“Is Fury Road‘s Max actually Feral Kid?”
“What does Jason Voorhees eat?”
“Why doesn’t anyone care what happens to the family in the Poltergeist remake?”
This is exactly how we felt about the remake, too, Sam.
This week’s podcast is based on the following articles:
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015), mechanical arms, Valhallan cults, flamethrowing guitars and the best action movie of the decade!
5 Reasons that Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) is the best thing ever!
Mad Max: Fury Road: A Beautiful R-Rated $150 Million Gamble That Cannot Be Replicated
John’s Horror Corner presents: Critically comparing the Poltergeist (2015) remake to the original Poltergeist (1982)
Sit back, relax and learn about everything you missed.
If you haven’t seen some of these movies, be comforted that we will geekily inform you as to why you should watch them.
You can stream the pod at the Sharkdropper website, listen to us on with your mobile app OneCast, or download the podcast on Itunes.
If you get a chance please REVIEW, RATE and SHARE the pod!
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John’s Horror Corner: Zombeavers (2015), bringing us mutant rabid animatronic zombie beavers in this fun cheap campy horror
MY CALL: This movie is dumb. Really dumb. But it’s also gory, campy, bad in a good way and full of laughs and weird things like werezombeavers. MOVIES LIKE Zombeavers: Looking for more self-aware horror that will make you laugh? Try Black Sheep (2006), Cabin Fever (2002), Cabin Fever 2 (2009), Cabin Fever: Patient Zero (2014), Shark Night 3D (2011), The Boneyard (1991), Critters (1986), Gremlins (1984), Ghoulies (1985), Piranha 3D (2010), Piranha 3DD (2012).
This flick dutifully pays homage to the likes of Piranha 3D (2010), which feels like an Academy Award winner next to this. It answers what happens when an inexperienced director teams up with two inexperienced writers, none of whom having written or directed anything in horror? Certainly nothing amazing, but perhaps something that’s still worth the price of admission at the very least…as long as you brought beer, that is. That’s what Zombeavers is. It’s the very least…the very least that it takes to watch a movie and not hate, regret or dislike it to the point that it cannot be enjoyed.
This movie is definitely funny (and fun in general), but there are scenes that I feel may not have been intentionally funny (although this film is very self-aware of its quality and tone). The acting is deplorable, the writing is horrendous, there’s basically no story nor any clever shots to boast. Yet I didn’t mind.
Perhaps a product of the film’s own self-awareness, no time is wasted before leaping into some lakeside nudity. It may not be raining breasts in terms of the gratuitous nudity, but they got to it right away for those who care. Later in the film we’ll endure some quintessentially tasteless sex scenes (brief nudity at most) that feel like a one-way ticket to pound town on frat row. The sex dialogue is pretty funny.
The highlight of the film is animatronic beavers, which are delightfully bad. After being exposed to some sort of toxic waste that was dumped in their lake, these rabid twitchy zombie beavers remind me of the glorious creature effects of the 80s. Their spastic movements are reminiscent of evil Muppets or shaky-limbed gremlins. While they are surely funny to watch, something about them remains menacing. Really—I think the twitchiness makes them appropriately off-putting. I’m somewhat reminded of the mounted deer head in Evil Dead 2 (1987) crossed with the trickster gopher from Caddyshack (1980).
As you can see BELOW, the shots very tasteful.
As if directly copying scenes out of Night of the Living Dead (1968), the zombeavers break their way through boarded up windows in the panicked victims’ vacation house and the deck of the tanning raft. The beavers are pretty smart. They chew through phone lines and know when to regroup.
If the cheap zombeavers were the best aspect of the film, the gore came next. The rubber guts and torn latex flesh is thankfully abundant as throats are bitten and bodies sundered.
Quite a pleasure was the transformation of a bitten girl into a werebeaver zombie (or werezombeaver?)—not unlike what happened in Black Sheep (2006). These infected victims behave as if they caught a beavered up version of the Evil Dead’s (2013) contagious zombie demonism. After being infected, a young woman twerks her tail—YES, she grew a beaver tail—and terrorizes her friends with her buck teeth which pushed their way through her front teeth. She even bites off a guy’s penis in the spirit of Piranha 3D (2010). Yikes!
Clearly this flick has a good sense of humor. At one point a guy throws his girlfriend’s dog in the water as a decoy for the beavers and when the zombeavers break their way through the cabin floor, it’s like a game of Whack-a-Mole.
That poor dog. SMH
The ending (and opening) scene is gloriously stupid, along with the outtakes at the end. My favorite outtake was the dog in the water being chased by the zombeaver props.
I highly recommend this to anyone who enjoyed the more recent movies listed above in “MOVIES LIKE Zombeavers.”
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Hello all. Mark here. Sometimes you need to watch cheeky monster movies. They won’t win any Oscars but they will put a smile on your face and satiate your need for B-movie mayhem. When a B-movie can juggle gore, humor and decent characters it becomes a thing of beauty. We here at MFF love monster movies like Tremors, Piranha 3D and Deep Blue Sea. So, I decided to dig through Netflix and find five monster movies that exemplify all that is good, bad and glorious. The list includes Zombie Beavers, Cops that are werewolves and pleather wearing witch hunters. These films will be perfect for late night viewings.
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Grabbers
Grabbers is fun, charming and rewatchable. It is a little Irish film that focuses on villagers who have to stay drunk to stay alive. The best thing about Grabbers is that it is immensely likable and doesn’t become a one-note shlock fest. It follows in the foot steps of Gremlins, Attack the Block and Tremors with its infusion of horror, comedy and oddness. You will cheer for the eventual drunk heroes as they battle ill-tempered aliens.
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WolfCop
WolfCop tells the age-old tale of an alcoholic police officer turned vigilante werewolf cop. This soon to be Canadian cult classic is a simple little thing that knows what it is and gives people what they want. What do people want? They want a cop to turn into a werewolf and battle shape shifting small town inhabitants. Wolfcop never takes itself seriously and even as faces are being ripped off the likability is evident. It is 75 minutes of blood, beer and boobs.
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Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Hansel and Gretel is the story of a good looking brother/sister duo who kill copious amounts of witches. They travel around the supernatural woods in search of death and pleathor pants. They help peasants rid themselves of swamp, bog, tree, water and sand witches that eat kids, enslave nice trolls and feed one of the heroes so much chocolate he becomes a diabetic. There is something fantastic about A-list actors acting in a B-movie that was directed by a horror maestro. Tommy Wirkola (Dead Snow) knows his way around gore, humor and blood explosions. You will have fun with Hansel & Gretel.
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The Colony
The Colony is a wonderful type of dumb. The characters are barely two-dimensional, the bad guys do spin kicks and there is a whole lot of narrating. The film rivals AVP in it’s ice age shenanigans and misunderstanding of frost bite. However, I kinda enjoyed it. It The modestly budgeted Canadian production has a charming personality despite not featuring anything original. The bumps and bruises make it a perfect late night shlock fest that you and your cinephile friends will appreciate.
The most memorable part of this film is the bad guy who must be some kind of paranormal. He loves flying through air ducts and surviving explosions. In the film, he survives three separate explosions with nary a scratch. Fishburne drops dynamite in the outpost (nothing). Fishburne blows up a bridge and kills 75% of the bad guys (nothing). Bill Paxton shoots a gas canister killing the rest of the bad guys and the villain slides into an air duct (unscathed). His clothes aren’t burnt and he only becomes hungrier. During the finale he is hit in the head by a steel pole at least 37 times (not an exaggeration). He shakes it off and finally succumbs to getting his head chopped in half. Where did this dude come from? How did he become the leader of a cannibalistic tribe? Does it hurt shaving your teeth into spikes? When did he make the move to cannibalism? Was it an easy choice? Why is that scar so strategic?
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Zombeavers
Zombeavers is gloriously underwritten, self-aware and cheeky. It is loaded with everything that makes for a perfect midnight movie. There is nudity, profanity, beaver puns, bikinis and death via Zombeaver. Shakespeare this ain’t. However, if you gather your friends, stock up on beer and embrace the mayhem you will have a fun time with this film.
Movies, Films & Flix 