Think Like a Man
Think Like a Man is based on Steve Harvey’s best-selling book. It revolves around six guys who are going through some form of relationship trouble. The player, the momma’s boy, the dreamer, the non-committal, The happily married man, the happier divorced guy. What follows is five of these men mature and one of them stays happily married.
The movie is stuff of stock/glossy romantic comedy lore. Everything is resolved too easily and the characters barely break out of their gimics of dreamer, momma’s boy etc… It is evident that the same people who wrote the homogenized yet dirty Friends With Benefits worked on this script. It all feels too neat and the best moments come from the likable actors and Kevin Hart’s improvisation. Kevin Hart is a tiny force of comedic nature. His conversation with his estranged wife at the end is the highlight of the film. The words that comes out of his mouth are stuff of improvisation glory. Like when he says “I was gonna punch you in the head..then maybe add a headbutt.”
Tim Story does a better job of adapting this book than he did with The Fantastic Four films. Another nice thing is that Think Like a Man allows several actors to break out of the roles they’ve been pigeonholed in. Regina Hall steps out of her Scary Movie craziness and is believable as a single mom looking for a man. However, whenever I see Taraji P. Henson and Jerry Ferrara all I can think is Entourage and Hustle & Flow. My girlfriend marveled at how skinny Turtle has gotten since his days with Vince and the boys.
Richard Corliss of Time Magazine sums this film up perfectly when he wrote:
“There’s nothing profound going on here; the truisms don’t blossom into life-enriching truths. It’s more like the person you meet at a bar who, on second glance, is surprisingly attractive. Call Think Like a Man a perfectly satisfactory one-night stand at the movies.
Think Like a Man is a glossy, forgettable and nice film that is better than the majority of the other forgettable and glossy romantic comedies.
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The Pirates: Band of Misfits
The Pirates: Band of Misfits is absolute joy. A blast of creativity, sight gags and albino pirates. Aardman studios (Wallace and Gromit, Chicken Run) continues its streak of wonderful films that manage to entertain kids and adults with its outstanding usage of clay and dialogue. I love the pictures that detail the process.
The film revolves around The Pirate Captain (Hugh Grant) and his crew trying to win the Pirate of the Year Award. The problem is the Pirate Captain is a dreamer and optimist but doesn’t have the skill set to be the best. He can easily capture nudist, plague and ghost ships but the big scores are out of reach. Along the way they capture a lonely Charles Darwin and his intelligent simian sidekick. Darwin eventually uses the Captain’s supposedly extinct Dodo to win Queen Victoria’s heart. The problem is that she hates pirates and has a peculiar appetite. Their Journey also involves ham night, traveling by map (They’ve perfected it) and the quote “It is only impossible if you stop to think about it.”
Pirates moves along at a brisk pace and is inhabited by an endearing crew of albinos and gout ridden cut throats. People get stabbed, endangered animals are eaten and the Pirate Captain apparently thought lemurs were women. The movie is packed with creativity and love. If people are going to spend thousands of hours moving clay you know that they care deeply about their craft. What they have accomplished is a likable film that will put a smile on your face.
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Trailer Talk: The Expendables Inspired Edition
Hello all. Mark here.
If you haven’t read the MFF reviews for the Expendables 2 check them out here and here. In honor of that film I’ve decided to cover four movies featuring various cast and crew of the film. Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (Adkins, Lundgren, JCVD), The last Stand (Arnold), Bullet to the Head (Sly) and Stolen (Simon West).
The first film is the magnificent Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning.
Chuck Finley: This movie is getting three JCVD splits and two spin kicks up from me. I wish I had bad stuff to say about it but I just can’t. I mean the Belgian Badass himself with face paint on?! Come on! Although Dolph was missing Scott at point blank range with an AK because just ducked under the bullets? Why didn’t I think of that?
Mark: I think since they both have B movie super skills they can duck Ak-47s with ease. I cannot wait to watch this film. You can tell that everybody is trying super hard to provide a crazy experience. Watching Dolph preach to those warriors brought back long repressed memories of a bearded Dolph preaching in Johnny Mnemonic.
Ryan: A “Johnny Mnemonic” reference? Hell hath frozen over.
Mark: Scott Adkins blocks a machete strike with his forearm.
John: I can’t unsee that, nor would I EVER want to. Scott Adkins for President of the United States of Awesome Ridiculous!
Bullet to the Head
Mark: I just watched Sly Stallone’s new preview for the film Bullet to the Head. Three things came to mind.
1. The scene where he punches the steering wheel and gives out a primal grunt made me laugh.
2. Who engages in Axe fights anymore? Is it more common than we know?
3. Sung Kang is one of my favorite actors. I just like the dude.
John: That’s Jason Mamoa! If Khal Drogo wants to have an axe fight, then there’s GONNA be an axe fight!
Mark: I can put up with the tattoos and old guy/young guy banter. However, I don’t see any way that Stallone could survive a Khal Drogo axe attack.
John: Hmmm. Mamoa is 6’4″ 220-230. Stallone may be way shorter with less reach, but he weighs in at around 210 of scary muscle. I’m gonna’ give Stallone the X factor here. He’s like a stray pitbull without a collar in an alleyway. You don’t “know” that he’s dangerous, but you also “know” to keep your distance. Then again, Mamoa may just be an axe ninja trained by The League of Shadows, in which case, say goodbye to Stallone and any hopes of The Expendables 3.
Mark: If it was a brass knuckle fight I got my money on Sly. I just don’t think he has Abraham Lincoln’s skill with the axe.
John: Reminds me of the Victorian era when gentlemen would choose–“Pistols or axes?”–when engaging in a duel to settle a dispute.
Mark: The visual of Victorian men walking ten paces then turning around and charging at each other with axes sounds amazing. Dignified axe fighting is indeed a thing of the past.
John: This is why Europeans say we have no culture.
Mark: I prefer our grenade launcher or chainsaw duels. Who needs dainty European gentlemen engaging in 30 minute axe duels?
John: You hold your tongue! Any axe duel lasting more than 90 seconds is already epic in my book. But 30 minutes…? That’s more awesome than Achilles vs Hector!!!
Mark: It sounds awesome but the fights consisted of 10 second rounds followed by one minute breaks. Only three people died too. Two by accident and one when an axe got loose and decapitated a spectator.
The Last Stand
Mark: The movie focuses on a sleepy border town that is forced to battle a drug cartel. The leader is an older, self aware Austrian sounding man who teams up with my personal favorite Johnny Knoxville. I cannot wait to see this. It was directed by Jee-woon Kim. Kim directed two amazing films The Good, The Bad and the Weird and I Saw the Devil.
Stolen
To conclude the Expendables 2 inspired trailer talk I’ve added a film directed by Simon West. Nic Cage gets his daughter stolen by Josh Lucas and has to steal some stuff to get her back.
This preview left me with some questions and observations.
1. What is on Josh Lucas’s head?
2. At :52 seconds Cage delivers the nut shot from hell.
I think this is the perfect trailer talk preview. Watch. Comment. Check out the Cageploitation.
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Bernie
If there is any justice in this world Jack Black will receive an Oscar Nomination for his work as Bernie. He loses the Jack Black persona and commits to a wonderful real-life character. Roger Ebert sums up Black’s performance perfectly:
“I had to forget what I knew about Black. He creates this character out of thin air, it’s like nothing he’s done before, and it proves that an actor can be a miraculous thing in the right role.”
Bernie is based on the real life events and trial of convicted murderer Bernie Tiede. The story takes place in the town of Carthage Texas and features the wonderful cast of Black, Matthew McConaughey and Shirley McClaine. The movie refreshingly adds testimonials of town residents as they talk about Bernie, Marjorie and the events surrounding the Texas murder dubbed “Midnight in the Garden of East Texas.” The film strays away from some of the murkier aspects of the case and it might not be totally correct to the source material but still exudes proof of directorial mastery
The film was directed by Richard Linklater. Linklater is a dynamo at creating memorable characters and has directed some of my favorite films such as Slacker, Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Dazed and Confused and School of Rock. this film reunites him with Black (School of Rock) and McConaughey (Dazed and Confused). McConaughey is obviously having a blast and Black gives a career best performance as a man whom everyone loves. He is a giving man who runs the local playhouse, has a beautiful voice and gives most of his time to others. His undoing was his relationship with recently widowed Marjorie Nugent. The two of them form a constant bond that eventually becomes toxic. You understand why a town would fully support a man who shot an old woman in the back four times with a .22 caliber rifle.
Bernie is a beautiful film/documentary hybrid that will undoubtedly make my year-end best of list. It is funny, charming, cheeky, engaging and creative. Jack Black gives a career defining performance and you will love watching Matthew McConaughey having a hoot of a time. Movies like Bernie do not come around much because there is nothing like them.
Rent Bernie, love Bernie, Hope that Jack Black is remembered come Academy Award time.
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Silent House
The premise is intriguing and according to the poster this film features “real fear” as opposed to regular “fear.” A family is hunted by killers/ghosts/killer ghosts who bang on doors and like to play hide and seek. The twist is that the film is done in a single take (strategic cuts). The filmmaking vision is there but the plot, writing and performances other than Elizabeth Olsen’s are soul hurting. When the final credits are rolling I guarantee you will have a look on your face that says “oh, brother.”
Elizabeth Olsen is fantastic. She has a magnetic screen presences and after Martha Marcy May Marlene is proving to be a force of natural nature. It is impressive how she pulls off so many emotions while hiding under a table. Olsen deserves better material but this proves she can carry a bad movie on her shoulders and make it watchable.
This film puts her in a category with another ultra talented actress Jennifer Lawrence (who also became popular with an indie Winters Bone). I call it the “white tank top horror film” category. They did these films before they hit it big and now they have to deal with audiences watching them run around in white tank tops while killers harass them.
Without Olsen this film would have been next weeks Bad Movie Tuesday. Whatever tension that is built comes crashing down the second she goes BACK into the house. She escapes the house and is running away when her sleazy uncle picks her up and takes her back in the house. Then, the twist feels so gratuitous it is makes you groan. Every object the characters inspected (safe, pictures, key) we knew would be involved later and my girlfriend figured out the twist early on. There are several jumps but all the horror clichés make an appearance. For instance, Polaroid camera flashes for light, loud thuds upstairs and people hiding under beds happen frequently.
This movie should have spent less time on the one take gimic and instead focused on plot and character. A cool idea means nothing if the story is stock. The directors must have landed Olsen due to the one take premise but got so caught up in the filming they forgot to surround her with capable actors and an intelligent script.
Watch Silent House for Elizabeth Olsen. She is a fantastic actress and survives her “tank top horror” without a scratch.
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Bad Movie Tuesday: One in the Chamber
After years of watching DTDVD Dolph Lundgren films I’ve finally figured out how to survive them. The key is to fast forward until he is on screen. The reason for this is because it will keep you sane and answer all the questions that this Blu ray cover ask. For example, why is Dolph wearing an Hawaiian shirt and tiny hat? If the killers are so elite why would they need so many bullets? Who is Cuba Gooding Jr. looking at? Does One in the Chamber sound like a Seether or Nickelback song?
Dolph has the movie industry figured out. He was obviously paid a bunch of money to show up for a few days, bust some heads and write his own dialogue. It seems like they caught him before or after an island vacation and he brought his own clothes.
Lundgren’s fight choreography is limited as well. The Russians run at Dolph and he elbows, punches and front kicks them while not moving at all. Even when Dolph shoots guns he stands in one place and wipes out everybody. It seems like Dolph got the greatest role ever. I’ve discussed his genius decisions in the past. For instance, in the Dolph directed film Command Performance he rides motorcycles, plays the drums and is a chick magnet. When he figured out he would not be in the A-list he decided that he would make the B,C and D lists comfortable.
I guess I should talk about the plot of this film. Cuba Gooding Jr. wears a stylish hoodie and kills some Russians. The Russians bring in Dolph to hunt CGJ. Dolph and Cuba fight then Dolph kills some Russians. Cuba wears a stylish V-neck and Dolph wears another fancy hat. Eventually, Dolph ends up shirtless and kills five Russians then calls the dead men “Amateurs.” The film ends by suggesting a sequel where Cuba and Dolph team up to rob from the rich.
Here are the highlights:
1. Dolph headbutts a guy in the face for not knowing who he is.
2. Dolph plays a Russian who speaks with a Russian accent 10% of the time and Dolph voice the other 90%.
3. Lundgren proudly declares “I don’t think. I do. If you pay me enough I will kill almost anything that breathes.”
4. Dolph kicks Cuba out of a window then when they meet again this dialogue happens:
Dolph: I threw you out of a window.
CGJ: I bounce real good.
One in the Chamber is worth the watch if you are a Dolph fan. If not I’m sorry you had to read this review. However, if you are ever forced to watch a Dolph film you will know what to do. Also, If you do happen to come across a Dolph fan tell them about this review. Let them know that we are the number one source of bad Dolph Lundgren films.
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John’s Horror Corner: The Apparition (2012)
MY CALL: This unfortunate attempt to combine elements of the Poltergeist (1982, 1986, 1988), Pulse (2001, 2006, 2008)and Paranormal Activity (2007, 2010, 2011, 2012) franchises fails on all accounts leaving only mediocrity in its wake. No good scares, tired effects and an unengaging story leave me with but one suggestion for you: SKIP IT. WHAT TO WATCH INSTEAD: Poltergeist (1982, 1986), Pulse (2001)and the Paranormal Activity (2007, 2010, 2011, 2012) franchise. TRAILER: Click here to go to my Trailer Talk.
The Gist—The concept is interesting enough. Some young attractive folks test a theory that ghosts only exist because we believe in them. Ergo, to believe in a ghost can facilitate the manifestation of one. It works, “it” is pissed, and it haunt-hunts them down one by one. The imagery and F/X strategy feel just like Pulse (but with Grudge-y dirty ghost hands). Like I said, the “concept” is interesting—if only watching it unfold in this movie was, too.
The movie begins when Patrick (Tom Felton; Rise of the Planet of the Apes), Ben (Sebastian Stan; Political Animals) and Lydia (Scream Queen Julianna Guill; Friday the 13th) re-enact a famous séance called The Charles Experiment in hopes of manifesting a ghost. They succeed and we are deprived of enjoying any more screentime of Julianna Guill as she is Pulse-sucked into/through a wall.
With no explanation of what happened in the ensuing years, life goes on and Ben is now living with his new girlfriend Kelly (Scream Queen Ashley Greene; the Twilight saga) in a quiet housing development just like the one in Poltergeist. However, when strange things start happening in their home, he realizes that the ghost he had summoned years ago has found him. Not wanting her to “believe” in the apparition, he passes off weird happenings on kids playing pranks and faulty electrical connections. When things get a little too scary for comfort, he reunites with Patrick to help combat the ghost.
The actors all do fine—nothing stellar, but actually good for a horror release. Greene is credibly rattled, Stan does fine, and it was nice seeing Felton play a non-douchebag. However, the paranormal effects were random, uninteresting, unimpressive, and even felt gratuitous. Doors open, a dresser shifts six inches, furniture is rearranged and lights go out—never in an effective manner that may make you jump or feel tense or uneasy. Then there was the Pulse-y haunted slime mold…which looks like giant a cat threw up in the corner of their ceiling. What is that thing? Do evil wasps live in it? Does it smell? It looks like it seriously smells!
So, they start finding slime mold deposits around the house. It’s gross and looks like a honey-combed, rotten, zombie, yellowjacket nest. Evidently this is symptomatic of an evil presence. While it’s gross, it serves no real purpose in the movie other than devaluing Ben and Kelly’s house and demonstrating that the filmmakers really didn’t know how to handle this movie. Or the ghost itself, in fact, as it is depicted in multiple forms so different I’d struggle to agree that it was only one ghost with one motive and one supernatural skill set.
Biggest Horror Faux Pas: The most nerve-wracking scene in the movie—which really wasn’t that effective, just the most effective—involved a supernatural smothering bedspread assault on Kelly. Such a tactic was employed in A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) and it was very effective even with limited effects. However, in The Apparition, I was troubled for different reasons. You see, evidently Kelly was using rubber sheets to solve a bedwetting problem because this bedspread was somehow suffocating her. Later in the movie, the ghost just uses some powerful telekinesis to suck someone to their doom in the laundry room. Why didn’t it just use that power? In fact, why was it playing with light switches and feng shui for the last hour of running time? They explain the ghost’s motives in the movie and they don’t explain this behavior.
There she is under the deadly bedspread. There he is stuck to the ceiling; another part of this scene sampled from A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Second Biggest Horror Faux Pas: The greatest idiocy of the movie was in how “the team” tries to eradicate the ghost in end. They go with the old “satanic metal band album played backwards” routine. You know. Just play the EEG recording signal (produced when they manifested the ghost) in reverse and it should send the thing back to Hell, right? That makes sense, right? Maaaaybe not. I think the writer was thinking of summoning some evil thing by playing a death metal album in reverse—like in one of my old favorites: The Gate (1987). But never does playing the album “forward” send the demon back to Hell.
Basically, everything about this movie is stupid and inconsistent. Don’t see it unless you simply have a hankering for seeing Ashley Greene in her underwear.
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The Dictator
The Dictator can be summed up in one scene. He is hanging on a zipline and has to dump some weight so he can move forward. So, he pulls out a Vita Coco water and three bananas. The dialogue goes like this:
Jason Mantzoukas: Vita Coco water?
Sacha: It has as much potassium as three bananas.
He then pulls out three bananas and throws them on the street.
Jason: Then why the three bananas?
Sacha: I don’t trust the Vita Coco advertising.
The Dictator is a wildly uneven film that has a major hit or miss ratio. The good thing is that there is a joke every 10 seconds so there are many laughs. However, this is the first of Sacha’s films that feels lazy. Instead, of buiding upon a crazy character in normal situations that grow into absurdity the director puts Dictator Sacha in absurd situations such as birthing a baby, licking armpits or pleasuring himself with little build up. These scenes miss because they were not built upon anything. Remember the frank and beans scene in There’s Something About Mary? That scene BUILT to a huge laugh that influenced the rest of the movie. Hopefully, Cohen isn’t headed into Chevy Chase territory. In the 80s Chase stormed the comedy world with his understated brand of Chaseness. However, when he hit his pinnacle he started ditching the creativty for zany antics and wild situations.
Gone are the days of Borat stlyle guerilla filmmaking. He is too well known to manipulate the midwest like he did in his two prior films. Thus, The Dictator becomes a scripted comedy that is fully expected to push hot topic buttons. The problem is that Cohen and director Larry Charles have pigeonholed themselves into a corner. How do you top wrestling naked with an overweight man or almost inciting a riot at an MMA event? The answer is that you shouldn’t.
The best moments of this film come from unexpected throwaway lines. The funniest scene involves a kidnapped Cohen and John C. Reilly arguing about torture devices. For instance, he has a flame thrower that works via blue tooth and certain torture instruments have been banned because they are too safe. I thought it was hilarious that Reilly was showing off his tools to a dictator who has tortured thousands. My favorite part is when Reilly realizes he doesn’t have a splatter shield for his rectal umbrella torture instrument.
Another funny bit is when Aladdeen walks into a restaurant full of people he thought he had killed. He is told “everybody you thought you had executed lives here.” Fred Armison pops up on the screen and it cuts to a flashback where Aladeen and Fred are walking towards each other in a hallway and can’t decide whether to go left or right. They go into that little dance of who goes left or right and when it is over Aladeen tells his men to off Fred. It is a funny little moment that creates genuine laughs.
The best moments of this film don’t involve Sacha pushing buttons. They involve small character moments that do not carry the weight of surprising people. For instance, there is a scene where croc wearing Aladeen is threatening to jump off of a bridge and Jason Mantzoukas is trying to talk him down and convince him he isn’t hard on the outside and soft on the inside. He says “You are like an onion. Outer layer is an a**hole and underneath are ten layers of a**hole.” (I changed the language for the blog).
There are a plethora of funny moments in this film but it also has a lot going against it. The biggest dissapointment is Anna Farris’s vegan/organic store owner who is around for Sacha to say lines like this. “I love seeing women go to school. It is like a monkey on a roller skates. It means nothing to them but it so adorable to us.” He describes her as “little man, Harry Potter and Justin Beiber’s chubby double.” In Cohen’s world of grey humor and politics she is surprisingly black and white.
The biggest problem during some scenes is the obvious humor. For instance, there is a set up where Sacha and Mantzoukas are in a helicopter talking about a 911 Porsche and Bin Laden living in his guest house. Of course, he crashes the 911 and says he got another 2012 911. The white folk sitting across from them don’t take too kindly and they start screaming. The joke is too easy.
Sacha Baron Cohen and Larry Charles have spoiled the world with absurd characters and unshakable memories. Their work never felt forced or boring. The Dictator has it’s moments but it is time the two of them came up with a new comic creation. They’ve already pushed the envelope and now they are simply stuffing things into it. It is time they went back to their roots of creating creative comic characters and started from scratch.
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The Raid: Redemption
The Raid: Redemption is a wild ride about 20 elite cops trapped inside a high-rise building that is patrolled by a ruthless drug dealers highly trained henchmen. Like the poster says “30 floors of chaos.”
Chaos indeed.
The Raid was directed by Gareth Evans and stars martial arts dynamo Iko Uwais. It was made for a dirt cheap $1,000,000 and can best be described as survival horror meets Ong Bak . The cops survive by using the fighting style Pencak Silat which is similar to Muy Thai but nothing like it. The characters use elbows, knees, fists, shins, feet and many weapons to inflict carnage to the bodily organs. People get thrown down stairwells, other get their throats slit and the lucky ones get riddled with bullets.
What I love about this film is that Evan’s lets the camera linger on the fighting. He has highly trained choreographers and he lets them work. The fights are a marvel of bone crushing and skin slicing. This is the type of film where you are worried for the stunt men.
The movie is brutal which will undoubtedly turn people away. However, it is the classic tale of good vs. evil. I love films where the good guys are outnumbered and have to fight their way out. The amount of bravery and fortitude needed to escape from such overwhelming odds is unfathomable. Watching these men survive whilst crunching bad guys is fantastic.
The fighting is urgent because the heroes have to stay moving. They cannot be drawn into long slow fights because it would allow for more tenants to join in. Constant movement is key to survival. They have to speedily navitage the murky halls of the apartment building which becomes a character in itself with its dark corridors and slow elevators.
The Raid is a fast-moving, violent and thrilling action film that came out of nowhere. The budget constraints allowed the film to thrive in creativity. I’m anxious to see what Gareth Evans and Iko Uwais do next.
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Movies, Films & Flix Random Awards: The Best of Summer
The Best Film of the Summer
Moonrise Kingdom – It is funny, warm and features Bill Murray throwing a shoe at Edward Norton.
Best Performance in a bad movie that made you like the bad movie until you thought about it later and realized the badness award
Josh Brolin – MIB 3 – The guy is so good you forget the plot is terrible and that production had to be shut down for three months to make this film.
Best Vita Coco product placement/Close to jumping the shark award
The Dictator – Cohen needs to ditch the script and embrace spontaneity.
Best Character of the Summer
Loki – He catches arrows, leads an army and still manages to lose in spectacular fashion.
Dumber than dirt Award (I still like the director though)
God Bless America – Turn off the TV/Radio and read a book. Maybe that will stop you from going on a rampage.
Why did the guy who created the maps get lost award
Prometheus – This movie was suppossed to be smart. But, then the guy who created the greatest maps ever can’t find his way out of a catacomb.
Cast I’d like to spend more time with
Safety not Guaranteed – Everybody is just so nice. Fantastic little indie.
Ouch, huh? and Oof award
Rock of Ages, Thats My Boy, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, Friends With Kids
Funniest Movie of the summer and greatest cameo award
Ted – This film provides genuine big laughs that come from wonderful dialogue and moments. Also, seeing Flash Gordon takes shots with a CGI teddy bear is pretty aweswome.
Matthew McConaughey will finally get an Oscar Nomination and prove I was right about Lincoln Lawyer being a springboard/Finding a way to put John Leguizamo in this post award
Magic Mike, The Paper Boy, Killer Joe and Bernie…..Almost makes up for Fools Gold.
Performance that can only be described as “drab” award
Steve Carrell– Seeking a Friend for the End of the World – I began to wonder if he was heavily sedated while filming this.
I still haven’t seen it award
The Amazing Spider Man
You will love Battleship if you go into it knowing you will watch a film called Battleship award
Battleship – Seriously folks. It is a movie about dudes trying to kill aliens. Enjoy it.
Best reason to not include a Ben Stiller sterility subplot in your film award
The Watch – I still don’t get it.
Cillian Murphy is in it!…Oh, modern-day DeNiro is in it too….Rental award?
Red Lights – Viva la Scarecrow!
Gratuitous beauty shot award/best excuse to marry a director award
Total Recall – Squint, beauty shot, squint, unnecessary Beckinsale flip, squint, sexy pose, squint, why is Jessica Biel wearing Cargo pants, squint.
Best writing, Best Norton and Best fleeces award
The Bourne Legacy – The definition of smart filmmaking
Come back of the year/gratuitous Dolph appearance in the blog Award
The Expendables 2 – JCVD for President! Dolph for Vice President!
You can make a film for $10 and still create a wonderful vision full of imagination award
Beasts of the Southern Wild – A creative vision of wonderfulness and beauty.
Best Hair award
Brave – It must have cost $15 million to animated every strand of hair. It is a fun movie too.
The film that proves Kristen Stewart can look at stuff award
Snow White and the Huntsman – We will always have Adventureland.
I can’t believe it is all over award
The Dark Knight Rises – Goodbye and thanks for all the monologues.
Movies, Films & Flix 