John’s Horror Corner: The Unborn (1991)
MY CALL: Not good. Not bad. But it satisfied my Sunday afternoon bad-horror itch. It’s endearing looking back at 1991 and seeing how they thought the genomics project and what they loosely call “protein synthesis” would change us into 51-chromosomed mutant-baby-rearing hosts. IF YOU LIKE THIS WATCH: The sequel, but I haven’t seen it. Also, perhaps, It’s Alive (1974 over the 2008 remake). SIDEBAR: Other horror movies of the same name include The Unborn (2009; which I saw and recommend) with Gary Oldman and Odette Yustman/Anabel being haunted by a Dibbuk-demon and The Unborn (2004, Thailand; which I have not seen) in which a drug-addict wakes up in a hospital 10 weeks pregnant.
Virginia Marshall (Scream Queen Brooke Adams; 1985’s The Stuff, 1983’s The Dead Zone, 1978’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers) and her husband Brad (Jeff Hayenga; Center Stage, a lot of small TV roles) visit a fertility clinic for a consultation with the very optimistic Dr. Meyerling (James Karen; The Pursuit of Happyness). They get right to treatment and then right to baby-making in a surprisingly brief, fully-clothed rockingchair-sex scene.
Virginia becomes emotionally and sexually aggressive, even violent, as her behavior becomes less rational and more psychotic. Meanwhile, we encounter strange events linked to Dr. Meyerling’s other patients, including his curious work in genomics and several unsolved domestic deaths. The storytelling, for 80s-ish horror, isn’t bad at all. Not like the slap-dash, thrown-together style of most (generally cheaper) flicks of the era (e.g., The Nesting, The Sentinel) or the truly campy and trashy (e.g., Breeders, Mutant Hunt). However, the story is quite simple: couple goes to fertility clinic, weird things start happening, and then come the evil monster babies. It’s a bit disappointing how there’s really nothing to it.
While she looks disturbed, let’s be real. They’re “always” cute when they’re yours.
While not quite the over-gross-out gory and nudity-rampant exploitation flicks of the time, The Unborn takes advantage of the sensitivity of pregnancy including attempts at physically traumatic do-it-yourself abortion, images of violent birth through the abdomen, wet fetus attacks, a disturbing-looking murderous premature infant, and kittenicide (the official, legal term for the premeditated murder of a kitten).
This set was clearly chosen to scare women out of abortion. And, hey, is that Hall & Oats performing the pre-abortion exam? So that’s what they did to pay the bills when they stopped making records.
![[unborn+offspring.jpg]](https://i0.wp.com/3.bp.blogspot.com/_gESD1wkyrz8/SmwX43opYrI/AAAAAAAAEHI/9aNM7VTGJls/s1600/unborn%2Boffspring.jpg)
Now THAT is an evil baby!
The best part of the movie had to be the completely random sighting of a triple-amputee dwarf laying down on a skateboard and cruising through an alley, but not without “standing up” for a moment and smiling at our female lead. Another pleasant surprise was two small roles filled by Kathy Griffin and Lisa Kudrow.
Kathy Griffin driving her prego-partner insane with baby yoga…
![[unborn+mothers.jpg]](https://i0.wp.com/3.bp.blogspot.com/_gESD1wkyrz8/SmwYO-TNSRI/AAAAAAAAEHQ/6lQbYuClUNc/s1600/unborn%2Bmothers.jpg)
The consequence of pushing baby yoga on someone too hard…
All in all, this was entertaining. Slow, but with some welcomed grins.
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The Dark Knight Rises and Hof replies
Spoiler Warning!
Do
Not
Read
This
If
You
Want
to know everything about
The Dark Knight Rises.
Following my review of The Dark Knight Rises, MFF writer John Leavengood and I started pecking away at what we liked and disliked about the movie. Suffice to say, I liked more and John disliked more. As a result, John summarized his issues in his “Breakdown Part 1” to which I’m now replying…
First and foremost I understand your thoughts on The Dark Knight Rises: Breakdown Part 1. It is a big flawed film that dares to swing for the fences beyond the fences. It also gives plenty of ammunition for a hilarious roundtable discussion. However, the issues you have with the film did not bother me. I had other issues that I will write about here. Also, I will discuss the gripes that you had with my review. I did love your thoughts about Bane catching a Batman punch because I was a bouncer for years and I realized I shouldn’t try to catch drunk indie kid punches…..However, one night while bouncing in St. Petersburg my friend Jeff did catch a punch that was headed my way. This act of bravery was met by another punch which connected with Jeff’s head because he was too busy saving my head from being concussed.
However, it is awesome that Cillian Murhpy AKA Scarecrow returns in this film. I love the character. He is a survivor. I would love to see a film where JGL battles him. It would be a perfect first time villain and prove that Mr. 500 Days of Summer has crime fighting chops.
First, I can’t belive you left out the Wall Street scene. I left it out of my original review because of spoiler warnings but I feel like enough time has passed to where I can unleash the spoilers. So, Bane and his crew attack Wall Street, kill some people and whack a woman in the face with a motorcycle helmet. Then, they steal a lot of information and bankrupt Bruce Wayne…….The next day Morgan Freeman tells him it would take a long time to get his money back. NO IT WOULDN”T! HE WOULD GET HIS MONEY BACK IMMEDIATELY. A dude in a baboon mask robbed the financial institution. I’m pretty certain people would get a mulligan.
Second, When people are forced to die via Ra Ra they have to walk on ice. The people quickly fall through until Batman appears and everybody seems cool about their precarious footing. They even feel good enough to light a flare on thin ice…. Huh?
Third, When did Bane have time to fly to India to drop Batman into a secret prison? Time has a way to slowing down in this film.
Now to Mr. Leavengoods feeling towards the film.
Leavengood: Then there was Anne Hathaway. I have nothing good to say about her as Catwoman other than “nice ass.” I have nothing bad to say about her other than she was utterly forgettable to me and I would prefer that she wasn’t in the movie at all—despite the fact that she was written into the complicated plot like a keystone planted in the arch of a bridge
Anne Hathaway was necessary for the plot. She represented an outsider who initially supported the uprising but then realized that it was insane. She did it for herself and eventually was won over by Batman and decided to put her selfish attitudes aside and support Gotham. She has a massive character arc as a naive yet confident woman who revived Batman’s mojo and became a better person. Her personality evolved over time and gave Batman a woman who replaced Rachel Dawes. COMPLETELY NECESSARY! Plus, her presence helped on promotional posters.
2 Leavengood:. A comprehensive trilogy. That’s not a success. That’s a prerequisite to even standing a chance at success.
If you’ve read my Bad Movie Tuesday Trilogy (which you have). You would know that they majority of third films have failed at providing a suitable conclusion to a series. Remember when Neo rocked the world and Jack Sparrow became a worldwide phenomena? Now, remember the third films where they pooped (technical term) on all the good will. The Dark Knight Rises shows that actions have consequences. It doesn’t do it perfectly but when you are dressed as a bat and fighting crime and you’ve killed the leader of the greatest crime syndication in the world there will be consequences. The Batman becomes bigger than himself and allows the surprisingly well-groomed policemen (who have been trapped underground for months) to take charge and run headlong into machine gun fire……Remember that simple is not always easy. I look at this trilogy as a Christopher Nolan graphic novel and not a recreation of established works.
Let me comment on John’s final quote:
Leavengood: Overall , opposite to the Hof, would call this movie completely unengaging, not a moment thrilling or exciting, and only a good conclusion to the trilogy when present in the form of storyboard notes. After the first hour I was honestly waiting for this movie to end. What a horrible thing to say.
John…Can you honestly say that you didn’t love the return of the Scarecrow? Or, What about when he finally makes the jump? I know in conversation you said the messages were forced fed but I loved that Batman had to be afraid of death to defeat Bane. I love that the cops were outgunned and outnumbered but still charged the machine guns. This was HUGE filmmaking that didn’t make a lick of sense (she should have flooded the reactor immediately) but still remained the vision of a man who revitalized a dead series. He deserved to make this film and we should appreciate a series that has been brilliant (Joker, Scarecrow), confusing (Bane, Rachel Dawes) and ultimately fulfilling (Batman landing a flexible woman and seeing Alfred). These films will be analyzed, loved and argued…which makes it wonderful.
Can’t wait to hear what you say about Bane…..
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Bad Movie Tuesday: The Watch and the 14%
The Watch is not a bad film. The Watch is a generic film. I believe that somewhere amidst all the conversations about genitalia there was a plot. But, the finished product is a combination of improv, Costco promotion and an odd subplot about Ben Stiller’s impotence. There are several laughs to be had but it feels like this is a $70 million runaway train. The best moments involve Vince Vaughn graciously stuffing Jonah Hill full of pudding and Richard Ayoade’s impeccable line delivery. The film has taken a beating by the critics and is sitting at 14% as I write this. I understand fully why this film is being critically dogpiled. It is more of the same and it should have been so much more. I’d compare this film to the 2004 Olympic bronze medal winning American basketball team. They had all the talent in the world but lost to more cohesive teams that played with a solid game plan and tenacity. The 2004 team left with a third place finish and much head scratching. All the talent in the world means nothing if the game plan goes out the window.
The movie revolves around four men who start a Neighborhood Watch after a Costco employee is killed and his skin is stolen. The movie is an excuse to get funny men together and have them pee into beer cans, talk sex fantasies and take pictures involving the violation of a dead alien.
Stiller is uptight, Vaughn is Vaughn, Hill is the wildcard and Ayoade is a breath of fresh air. Together they improv constantly and leave you baffled as to how this movie cost $70 million. The improv provides some funny zingers but allows less time for the plot to unfold. It is like they passed the ball around but then they realized the shot clock was running out so they threw up a three pointer from half court and missed. The improv also keeps the characters from developing. The director Akiva Schaffer said he ended up with 45 minutes of footage for a four sentence scene. That time could have been used to flesh out the plot of add more drama to Ben Stiller’s impotence (Keep reading).
The most bizarre part of the film is not the aliens or huge budget. It is the subplot involving Ben Stiller’s reluctance to tell his lovely wife that he is impotent. He lies to her as she is trying to have a child. Stiller has known about the impotence for 18 months and treats his wife terribly because of it. It is a strange story to be telling in a film about alien invasion. A lot of stuff revolves around the downstairs area. Most of the humor feels lazy when the people involved have starred in Old School, Tropic Thunder, 21 Jump Street, The IT Crowd etc..
I have no ill will towards this film. I understand why it went bad. Too much money, too much time and too much freedom. Judging from The Watch’s friday gross (4.5 million) the movie should make about $18 million (The movie made less than expected with $14 million). Take off the second week drop of 50% and this movie will have a hard time making its budget back. I hope these actors learn from this and come out like the 2008 US basketball team and win the gold. There is hope for the future. Stiller is slowly working towards Zoolander 2, Vaughn has reunited with Owen Wilson for The Internship and Jonah Hill is planning a 21 Jump Street sequel.
Watch The Watch……..on Blu Ray
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This photo was taking during a discussion between Bale and Nolan before filming [not really]. Bale (to Nolan): “Are you sure you’re ready for me to don the uniform one last time? Or would the writers like a little more time?”
And the marathon of Batman posts continues. It all started before the film’s release with our MoviesFilmsandFlix Roundtable discussion of the trailer. From there…
The Hof recently wrote a rather positive review about The Dark Knight Rises (2012). I am not alone (e.g., Harry’s AICN review) in saying that I profoundly disagree and found the film to be, by and large, a huge disappointment—all be it well-scored and beautifully shot. Until this film, I was someone who said that Christopher Nolan could do no wrong…sadly, this is my opinion no more. I will present some elements of the film evidenced by The Hof as “good” and present my case against its merit. As The Hof got to set the stage, this is the first of my two-part counter-argument in the case of Hof v Leavengood on the battlefield of The Dark Knight Rises. This first part assesses all things non-Bane (without spoilers), whereas part two will address all things Bane (with spoilers). Here we go…
The Hof: “The biggest problem with The Dark Knight Rises was that it had to follow The Dark Knight.” Also “after the first trailer was released you started to hear grumblings about Bane’s voice being inaudible. The problem was fixed but it showed that the movie was under a microscope.”
Response: Not so. I was looking forward to The Dark Knight Rises, not because of The Dark Knight, but because both Batman Begins AND The Dark Knight were spectacular, even if The Dark Knight was a more notably perfect form of spectacular. And fanboys will always be fanboys and place such movies under microscopic analysis regardless of the quality of a single prequel. Maybe it was a little worse here. But there’s a new Superman reboot coming up. Do we really think they won’t drum up reasons for super-high or way-pessimistic expectations on their own regardless of the absence of other data on the franchise? Of course they will. That’s what they do (or more fairly, what “we” do even if we often try to hide it). The Bane’s voice thing was frustrating. But to consider that as evidence of the overall quality of the film is simply word vomitters talking for the sake of talking.
People worried that no villain could escape the shadow cast by Heath Ledger’s Joker.
Nolo contendere: We seem to agree on Bane’s “Roadhouse” fighting style. But Batman did it, too. It was doubly awful seeing this two throwing a marathon of wild haymakers at each other like bar brawlers. Is that how Batman was taught to fight in The League of Shadows? I think not. Even when he’s enraged he shouldn’t be fighting like that. I found it unreasonable and, possibly, due to Hardy’s difficulty with fight choreography which was made apparent by his shorter fight scenes in Warrior (I have to thank The Hof for that knowledge).
Right here, a moment glimpsed from the trailer, we thought we’d be in for an epic fight…
What we end up getting is a clear mismatch. You know whose punches are effortlessly “caught” by their opponents? The folks who never have a chance!
The Hof: “I was troubled by Batman not being in the film for huge chunks … However, these are small gripes in the big picture.”
Response: I will not consider my issue a “small gripe” when Batman is absent from sooo much of this movie. Unforgivable, unacceptable, and boring. Yes. I found the movie boring.
The Hof: “Where the movie succeeds is tying together all three of the Batman stories into a cohesive whole.”
Response: That’s not a success. That’s a prerequisite to even standing a chance at success. To not do this would simply be failure on the part of the writers and, contrarily, to do this does not necessarily imply a victory; only an absence of the specifically negative. So I won’t call it great that they did it; I’ll just admit that they did their jobs. At the end of the day, tying the movies together may have been accomplished with 20 sentences on a whiteboard flow chart.
The Hof: “Christopher Nolan manages to make the new additions three-dimensional and likable.” And “I was fully expecting to be annoyed by Anne Hathaway … her portrayal of Selina Kyle is a mature, intelligent and flexible… The most important part of the puzzle is the addition of Joseph Gordon Levitt’s cop character.”
Response: I disagree about many of the new characters (Bane to be discussed in the Part Two post). The financial bad guys were awkward and unconvincing. They really just subtracted enjoyment for me. Speaking on unconvincing characters who spoiled the movie for me, I don’t even think the pre-existing characters were well-served. Then Alfred uncharacteristically leaves Bruce. That’s not the Alfred I know! He would stand by Bruce through ANYTHING while offering his conflicted heartfelt concern. They addition of one line like “I can’t take it anymore, Master Bruce” is simply not going to cut it for me in terms of character development. I acknowledge that they tried to build up to it, but I think that swing for the fences didn’t even get them on base. Then there was Anne Hathaway. I have nothing good to say about her as Catwoman other than “nice ass.” I have nothing bad to say about her other than she was utterly forgettable to me and I would prefer that she wasn’t in the movie at all—despite the fact that she was written into the complicated plot like a keystone planted in the arch of a bridge. My harping is curbed, though, by Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I was confused about his involvement at first—playing it off as “well, Nolan just likes him.” Then his role in the ending made me smile. That was the only part of the movie that truly satisfied me at all.
One of many forgettably bland exchanges between Bruce Wayne and Catwoman. I didn’t think it was possible to screw up the old “enemies meet on the dance floor” sexy exchange of threats and innuendo.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He plays the only character in the film who wasn’t irresponsibly written–or underwritten.
The Hof: The Dark Knight Rises is a marvel of IMAX beauty. It is occasionally frustrating, often beautiful and always engaging. Do not put this movie under a microscope. DKR is a thrilling conclusion to an intelligent and ground breaking super hero trilogy.”
Response: Overall , opposite to the Hof, would call this movie completely unengaging, not a moment thrilling or exciting, and only a good conclusion to the trilogy when present in the form of storyboard notes. After the first hour I was honestly waiting for this movie to end. What a horrible thing to say.
My most MAJOR issues were with Bane and all things Bane. That will be addressed later—in a more meta-analytical superfan context—and will include spoilers. But by the time it’s posted, you should all have seen The Dark Knight Rises, right?
I am intentionally sparring with an unbaited sword to incite reader comments. So, please, post your comments for or against the quality of this film. The gloves are off!
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Trailer Talk: REC 3: Genesis (2012)
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude! REC 3: Genesis looks like it’s gonna’ be something special!
The basic plot is: A couple’s wedding day turns into a horrific events as some of the guests start showing signs of a strange illness.
CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ORIGINAL TRAILER (in Spanish)
CLICK HERE TO SEE THE US TRAILER (well, yeah, it’s in English)
You should really watch both of these trailers. They are quite different and show different aspects of the film. The Spanish trailer shows more clips and gore from the wedding hall, the American trailer is more about introducing us to our heroine, Clara (played by fledgling Scream Queen Leticia Dolera).
International Release Date: Already happened. March 30, 2012 (Spain)
U. S. Release Date: September 7, 2012. But you can see it on Video on Demand August 2nd.
This is a prequel to the original REC (2007). There’s hardly any need to address the plot beyond that, other than to point out that human patient zero first shows symptoms while at a wedding. This makes for some nice scenes of rampant gore jettisoning across the room onto elegant clothes in the grand hall of a mansion. Why not? Sounds fun to me.
The gore looks really good and really fun. Toss in a chick in a guts-stained bridal dress holding a chainsaw to a zombie’s head and, let’s be honest, you’ve just earned your first star.
We get to see a chick go from this happy bride [above] to this horrified scream queen [below]…
…to this chick who’s clearly had enough and isn’t gonna’ take it any more [below].
If you liked the previous installments then you should like this. Director Paco Plaza directed all three REC films and wrote all of the American and Spanish installments of the franchise. It’s all about consistency. If you weren’t a fan of the earlier films—well, there are plenty of other zombie movies out there, aren’t there?
HEADS UP: I understand that REC 4: Apocalypse is already underway. These folks have set a Resident Evil-like wildfire. So far, the first two RECs have been Americanized in the Quarantine franchise (2008, 2011). Based on the apparent production value of this one, the trend will continue and you won’t have to read English subtitles if you don’t want to. But if you do, you get twice the zombie movies out of this insta-remake franchise.
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Beasts of the Southern Wild
Where did this movie come from? Where did the director find Quvenzhane Wallis? Do people really use truck beds for boats?
Beasts of the Southern Wild is the story of a young girl named Hushpuppy who lives with her father in an area on the outskirts of Louisiana called The Bathtub. The Bathtub is a self-contained world full of poverty, thriftiness and community. the citizens kill their livers with booze, live day-to-day and love seafood. Life goes on normally until a massive storm hits that changes the way of life in the lower coastal area. From there the movie dives deeper into the bathtub until the real world comes looking for them. All of this is seen through Hushpuppie’s eyes. Hushpuppy is played by six-year-old Quvenzhane Wallis who is incredibly natural and intelligent. Wallis is a precocious little dynamo who has a vivid imagination for living in such a small world.
Her father does not help her much in the way of development. His hard-drinking keeps him away for days and he constantly tells stories of Hushpuppies mom who left them years ago. His accounts of a woman so hot she makes water boil add to the mystically real life that these people live. You can tell he loves his daughter but can only teach her the bare necessities of survival.
This film is proof that budgets are not needed to achieve a creative vision. Benh Zeitlin does more with his directorial debut than some directors achieve. He creates a pure vision that is uniquely his own. The film reminds me of the David Gordon Green film George Washington. They create bigger than life visions for very small places. Both men used largely untrained actors and that leads to the naturalness that these films depend on.
I was never emotionally taken by this film but I appreciated the visuals and wildness of Beasts of the Southern Wild. The director has created a memorable vision of a world unknown to many and characters who are strong of will. This movie is like a very shaky dream. There is so much going on you can’t remember all of the visuals flying at you.
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Stranded (2001)
MY CALL: Mars has a secret, but it may not be worth the suffering through this film to get to it. [C-/D] WHAT TO WATCH INSTEAD: Mission to Mars (2000), Red Planet (2000). IF YOU LIKE THIS, WATCH: Moon (2009), Sunshine (2007), Alien (1979), 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968).
The story swiftly begins when our crew crashes during their approach to Mars. The low budget is evident from the beginning—largely due to the writing. The dialogue is terrible, as is its delivery and the ill-felt sense of urgency. Major problems are recognized as futile, someone immediately asks a question or suggests an overly simplistic solution, and in a total of ten seconds there is a solution—then wash, rinse and repeat for each problem they may encounter for the film’s duration. Nothing like the nerve-tugging troubleshooting scenes of Apollo 13 when Gary Sinise was trying to beat the clock so that Tom Hanks and Bill Paxton wouldn’t run out of oxygen…and they were much closer than the 26 month journey from Earth to Mars.
“I just used this calculator and, by my calculations…we’re HOW far from Earth!?! FML!!!”
“Listen to me. I’m a scientist. I’ve thought of everything!” –Vincent Gallo delivering, yes indeed, a direct quote from this stillborn menace of a film
More significant problems come when the five-man crew faces a moral dilemma: the oxygen, food, water and energy stores can only allow two individuals to survive long enough to be rescued…so three of them have to go (to their death, evidently). Naturally, this is where the camaraderie and trust go out the window. After a deliberation that lasted even less time than would drawing straws, the three “unnecessary” crew members suit up and leave the module to “walk around” until, I suppose, they die.
Where on this lifeless death orb shall we venture next as we run out of oxygen?
To give meaning to their final hours and to salvage some victory from this failed trip, the captain records their land travel in hopes of capturing something useful. So off the wander, trying to fill screen time with insightful lines—and failing miserably.
Then they come across a cave, at which point the two in the space module have lost contact and camera feed and have just learned that the module’s energy won’t last more than 12 hours—down from two and half years!—by the time an alarm goes off because of some leak or something.
Believe it or not, a pertinent quote.
“Too bad we didn’t bring an archaeologist with us.” He said when gazing upon the greatest discovery in human history. “An archaeologist would have killed us in cold blood for not taking precautions before coming in here and distorting everything with our fingerprints.” She replied, her body completely encapsulated in a f***ing space suit! Idiot writers.
As she comes across an even greater discovery (Than the greatest discovery in human history that they discovered five minutes prior? Nice pacing, writers.) she is practically apathetic! Anyone would have been stunned—anyone!!!
This unfortunate film featured some recognizable names, and some not. Vincent Gallo (Buffalo 66) is intolerably annoying, more as an actor than a character. I actually can’t tell if the character is annoying, or meant to be, or not, since Gallo did such a shit job. But not as much as Maria de Medeiros’ (Pulp Fiction)child-like demeanor; she can’t even say “shut up” or drop an F-bomb without it sounding forced. But she did have the only genuine, intentionally funny moment. Joaquim de Almeida (Desperado, Fast Five) offers the most tolerable performance. Maria “Luna” Lidon narrates, acts and directs—she tries so hard, but the narrations are dry and you never feel the “deepness” you know she’s trying to achieve; it’s more of a kiddie pool than an oceanic abyss. The worst actor by far is “Herbert” played by some nobody. As they die off their deaths are so agonizingly bad to watch that you’re not sure it was worth it to not have to watch them act any more.
SPOILER ALERT!!! They can breath! How ironic since 30 minutes ago one of you ran out of oxygen and asphyxiated in your spacesuit. Oh, and that’s not Mars’ secret.
All this to consider, I felt as stupid as the filmmakers for watching this POS. It was a good idea. But wait! That idea was done twice just the year before (2000’s Mission to Mars and Red Planet). Speaking of which…
Has there ever been a space mission movie that wasn’t met with catastrophe? 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), Sunshine (2007), Planet of the Apes (1968, 2001), Apollo 13 (1995), Apollo 18(2011), Alien (1979) to Prometheus (2012), Pandorum (2009), The Event Horizon (1997), Mission to Mars (2000), Red Planet (2000)… Seems like even if the movie starts with someone returning from a space mission something bad has to happen, as in The Astronaut’s Wife (1999) or Species (1995).
If you actually want to see this it’s on Netflix streaming. If looking for it online, include the year in your search as there are about 20 movies of the same name on IMDB. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.
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The Dark Knight Rises
The Dark Knight Rises is a massively ambitious film that swings for the fences. It has been several days since I saw the film and I am still breaking it down and absorbing the final Batman. My conclusion is that it is frustrating, over-important, intelligent and colossal.
It is complicated, gloomy and open for interpretation. You have to think about this film. The issues of fear, class and terrorism run rampant throughout and you have to wonder why Hollywood millionaires feel the need to tell this story. Between this and The Avengers this summer has been a tale of two comic stories. The Avengers was wonderful but it felt managed because of all the money, egos and producers. The Dark Knight Rises feels orchestrated and championed by one man. You could tell that Avengers had Whedon DNA but he had to give every character their moment to shine and create room for future films. Nolan is concluding his trilogy by introducing new characters, leaving Batman out for massive chunks and making class warfare an important aspect. At times the movie feels self-important and could be retitled The Dark Knight Makes Big Speeches. However, Nolan has earned the right to do whatever he wants and he succeeded in not dismantling the hype train like Spidey 3 and X-Men 3 did.
The biggest problem with The Dark Knight Rises was that it had to follow The Dark Knight. Expectations were raised to unnatainable levels.Fanboys ran rampant with Joker love and they were ready to declare the third film that greatest thing ever without watching it. However, after the first trailer was released you started to hear grumblings about Bane’s voice being inaudible. The problem was fixed but it showed that the movie was under a microscope. I too examined the film too closely. I was bothered by Bane fighting like he was an extra in Road House. I was troubled by Batman not being in the film for huge chunks and I still wonder why Marion Cotillard’s character was so underwritten. However, these are small gripes in the big picture.
Where the movie succeeds is tying together all three of the Batman stories into a cohesive whole. The theme of these films has been fear. Batman Begins started with the Scarecrow then moved to the anarchy of the Joker and now into the cruelness of Bane. A man who wants you to have hope only to destroy it. All three of these men use their powers in different ways to paralyze the populace with fear.
My biggest worry about this film was the addition of all the new characters. Several other films have been hampered by the addition of too many people. For instance, Pirates 3, Spider Man 3 and X-Men 3 all faltered under the weight of too many new faces. Christopher Nolan manages to make the new additions three-dimensional and likable. Tom Hardy is able to capture the frightening physicality of Bane. Behind the creepy baboon looking mask is an intelligent and cruel man who likes to make people suffer. Bane is a physical match for Batman and isn’t afraid to throw down by himself. However, behind the mask lies a hidden weakness bound to be exploited.
I was fully expecting to be annoyed by Anne Hathaway representing the 99%. However, her portrayal of Selina Kyle is a mature, intelligent and flexible. She walks the line between right and wrong and eventually regrets getting what she asks for. Hathaway is a perfect foil for Bale and together they develop an attraction based on equality and muscle tone.
The most important part of the puzzle is the addition of Joseph Gordon Levitt’s cop character named John Blake. He is smart, capable and feisty enough to team up with Gary Oldman’s commissioner Gordon. His story goes hand in hand with Bruce Wayne’s and you wish he could have his own spin-off. I love how JGL can be equal parts nice, tough, angry, indie and capable. I won’t give away any more….
The Dark Knight Rises is a marvel of IMAX beauty. It is occasionally frustrating, often beautiful and always engaging. Do not put this movie under a microscope. DKR is a thrilling conclusion to an intelligent and ground breaking super hero trilogy.
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Peaceful Warrior (2006)
MY CALL: Focusing on clearing one’s mind of all things tarnished in life, this is an inspiring sports-meets-philosophy story aimed at younger viewers (say, 12-25) but appropriate for all—all older than 12 anyway. IF YOU LIKE THIS WATCH: Rudy (1993) for drama, The Replacements (2000) for fun. SIDEBAR: Not a lot of gymnastics movies that weren’t made for TV or straight-to-DVD (or video back in the day). But if that’s what you’re looking for, here’s what I’ve got: Stick It (2006; best suited for girls who still do gymnastics and/or girls under 25), Gymkata (1985; an idiotic action movie that truly might have been written to inspire college drinking games), Final Destination 5 (2011; featuring the most horrifying gymnastics death ever imagined—that’s really all it has to do with gymnastics, though).
[Based on a true story.]
When you take for granted what you can do, you get sloppy in life. “Everyone tells you what to do and what’s good for you. They don’t want you to find your own answers. They want you to believe theirs…I want you to start gathering information from outside yourself and start gathering from the inside…People are afraid of what’s inside, and that’s the only place where they’re gonna’ find what they need.”
Dan Millman (Scott Mechlowicz; Eurotrip) is a cocky, straight-A, lady’s man gymnast on his way to the Olympic qualifiers. He trains 7 days a week, 50 weeks a year, but despite all this “hard work” it doesn’t seem so difficult for him. But he lacks the hubris to simply expect to qualify. He does everything that a champion does—practices devoutly, attempts that which has not yet been done, desires greatness—all things except for one: believing in himself.
When we meet “Socrates” (Nick Nolte; Warrior, Zookeeper), an otherwise nameless gas station attendant nicknamed by Dan, he is presented as something teasingly supernatural. Surrounded by scenes representing dream sequences, we are left to question whether ours are the eyes of a little birdy or those of Dan’s dreaming perspective.
Later Socrates seems to have powers of zen awareness, astral projection and telepathy that he can even confer to Dan. At this point, it becomes apparent that Socrates’ abilities are a figment of Dan’s imagination—if not Socrates in his entirety, perhaps representing Dan’s inner self rather than an inspiring life coach. Socrates challenges this haughty but fearfully sleep-deprived athlete with the question of what he’ll do if he doesn’t make the Olympic team, a mere notion that plagues Dan. While first met with resistance, Dan comes to accept some of Socrates’ challenges, the results of which are innocently amusing.
Why did he throw him in the water?
To clear his mind.
After attempting Socrates’ abstinent training regimen, he becomes impatient, even angry, and quits. Shortly thereafter he rushing to practice and gets into a bad motorcycle accident in which his femur shattered into 17 pieces, along with his dreams, and his greatest prognosis is that he “should” be able to walk again. The remainder of the movie illlustrates his limping struggle to chase his dream.
From this….to this.
Most of this film works, but certain elements do not. His romantic interest, Joy (Amy smart; Road Trip, Crank), is poorly written into the story and seems to appear and disappear conveniently with little synthesis. She represents his only female interest that isn’t based on lust—but while it is nice to see Dan maturing from one-night stands—this was neither necessary nor substantial given other events in the movie. Her deletion from the story would likely go unnoticed.
Not that I’d ever complain about seeing Amy Smart…
Director Victor Salva has done a lot of horror writing/directing (the Jeepers Creepers series, including the upcoming third installment). But he also wrote and directed Powder (1995), a mystical movie with some elements akin to horror. This likely influenced the mystic nature of Socrates. Such a shame though, in my opinion, that a story about giving up control in order to be “free” was presented by a rather formulaic storyline; another aspect that didn’t work for me, but likely passed unnoticed by those who don’t “over-analyze” movies like self-serving reviewers like me. 😉
A third thing—and please don’t mistake this for harping, just analyzing—is that the guardian angel nature of Socrates felt like it simply lacked the relative maturity and reality of like-minded tales aimed at adults. Rudy (1993) didn’t need a dream-like archangel to spell things out for him. He realized and chose his path himself…and he managed to get a lot of grown-ass men to cry in the locker room “Jersey Scene.” Mysticism can be utilized without some of the silliness of the devices of this film. That’s not to say that it wasn’t cute or followed by a snicker or two, but that it didn’t match the possible maturity I felt was appropriate for this particular story. Again, not hating, just deconstructing a bit. It gives me something to write about.
By the end, this movie makes us recognize a little of ourselves (even if a younger self) in our semi-hero and, naturally, we feel good about it, the movie and ourselves. While I think this was intended to inspire younger viewers (say, 12-25), there is no reason that adults wouldn’t enjoy it as well. I’d order a pizza, pop some kettlecorn and make a family night out of it.
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Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Two good looking/charming people bond over salmon fishing in the Yemen. Salmon Fishing in the Yemen is a quirky yet reserved film that features two of my favorite actors Ewan McGregor and Emily Blunt. Watching them surrounded by beautiful vistas and large fish makes for a breezy experience.
The movie was adapted from the popular UK satirical book and features Ewan McGregor as a mousy fisheries expert who is as knowledgable about fish as he is cantankerous. He is in a glacially cold marriage to a woman who lords over him and treats him like an underling. He works with Emily Blunt’s friendly and intelligent consultant to a wealthy sheikh. She is recently in love with a kind solider who has just been called up to Afghanistan. They are brought together to bring fishing to the Yemen. The plan is quickly dismissed but when the prime ministers press secretary Kristen Scott Thomas latches onto the good will story the plan is set into motion. Soon enough the Sheikh transfers 50 million for the project and McGregor/Blunt have to make the improbable possible.
Very rarely does a nice little film like this come around. It features a unique plot and likable characters who are working to achieve a strange goal. The main problem with the film is that they use a solider being MIA as a plot device. Is he dead? Is he alive? It seems like forced drama in a movie that should just flow like the rivers the salmon travel in. This film has a lot in common with The Big Year. The films have a warmth to them that is lacking in most studio movies. You like all of the characters and enjoy the time you spend with them. They bring us to new worlds unbeknownst to many. For instance, when Scott Thomas finds out that there are two million fishing enthusiats in the UK she tells the Prime Minister he needs to learn how to fish. These two things are beloved by many but understand by very few.
Salmon moves at a leisurely pace and breezes by. It is a perfect film to watch on a Sunday night after a busy weekend.
Watch Salmon Fishing in the Yemen. Enjoy the chemistry. Soak in the scenary.
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/salmon_fishing_in_the_yemen/
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