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SUMMARY: This week we discuss Paul W. S. Anderson’s sci-horror Event Horizon (1997), the behind-the-scenes components that made it such a visually tantalizing spectacle, and muse the origins of the evil possessing the vessel. During our journey we take time to assess Sam Neill’s physique, obsessions with haunted ships, a man’s ability to out-grapple a Tremors (1990) graboid, and how this film did “Hellraiser in Space” better than Hellraiser did “Hellraiser in Space” (i.e., Bloodline).
If you enjoy discussions about deep space voyages-gone-wrong, check out Episode 96: The Perils of Space Travel.
For more horror podcast discussions, check out…
Episode 116: Happy Death Day
Episode 115: Bram Stoker’s Dracula
Episode 114: Office Horror, Mayhem & The Belko Experiment
Episode 113: Elise, her Demons and the Insidious Franchise
Episode 108: The Best Horror Films of 2017
Episode 78: Carpenter vs Zombie Halloween Rematch (1981 vs 2009)
Episode 76: The Blair Witch Pod (1999-2016)
Download the pod on iTunes, PodBean, Stitcher or
LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
Please SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW, RATE and SHARE.
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Beyond Skyline is the rare B-movie sequel that is better than its predecessor on every level. The 2010 film Skyline was a subpar Sci-Fi cheapy that featured a bunch of people watching an alien invasion from their loft. I admired what it was able to do on a tiny budget but I never felt anything for the characters or the insanity unfolding around them. However, while watching the second half of Beyond Skyline I was in awe of Iko Uwais, Frank Grillo and Yayn Ruhian and their ability to destroy aliens in hand-to-hand combat. If you are a fan of Iko Uwais murdering aliens with his knees, elbows, fists and various weapons you will love Beyond Skyline.
Beyond Skyline starts off in Los Angeles and features a dour cop named Mark (Frank Grillo) collecting his troubled twenty-something son Trent (Jonny Weston) from a local police precinct. They are forced to take the subway when Mark’s truck won’t start which saves them from the initial alien attack (the blue lights from the original are back). However, the aliens eventually make their way down into the subway and after some slick battles, Mark, Trent, Audrey (Bojana Novakovic) and blind Vietnam vet Sarge (Antonio Fargas) are brought to the alien ship where the jerky creatures are sucking out human brains and implanting them into robot bodies. The foursome eventually manages to bring the ship down in Laos (yep!) where they team up with Sua (Iko Uwais), Chief (Yayan Ruhian), Kanya (Pamelyn Chee) and Harper (Callan Mulvey).
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Beyond Skyline really kicks off in Laos because once there the characters engage in an all-out war with the jerky aliens. There are multiple setpieces that hit above their B-movie weight and allow the main characters to murder their attackers in various ways (flamethrower, grenades, knives, guns, elbows). My favorite moment is a one-on-one fight between Uwais and 10-foot tall alien. The battle pits Iko’s brand of awesome butt-kicking against an alien who fights like a giant rugby player who can throw insane spin kicks in tight corridors.
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Beyond Skyline is a very fun B-movie that proves action films with low budgets can be pretty great when done right. Director/writer Liam O’Donnell works wonders with his cast/budget and the final product is a lot of fun. If you are a fan of Frank Grillo, Iko Uwais, and spin kicking aliens you need to watch this movie.
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Skin Trade (2014), Tony Jaa and Dolph Lundgren aaaand Michael Jai White deliver a mash-up of gritty hard-R police action and martial arts.
MY CALL: Three great actions stars in a decent gritty action movie. Not their best, but still more than worth the price of admission! MOVIES LIKE Skin Trade: Well, some other vengeful police action movies include Kill Zone 2 (2015; aka Sha Po Lang 2) and the far more brutal The Raid: Redemption (2011).
Okay, let’s just set the tone right here. Listen to the IMDB plot summary—it sounds like something from a gritty 1989 action movie:
“After his family is killed by a Serbian gangster (Ron Perlman; Hellboy 1-2, Pacific Rim) with international interests, NYC detective Nick (Dolph Lundgren; Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning, The Expendables 1-3) goes to SE Asia and teams up with a Thai detective (Tony Jaa; Ong-Bak, Kill Zone 2, Furious 7) to get revenge and destroy the syndicate’s human trafficking network.”
It’s an interesting cast with many familiar faces. Nick’s colleague’s include Reed (Michael Jai White; Blood and Bone, Undisputed 2) and Costello (Peter Weller; Dragon Eyes, Of Unknown Origin, RoboCop). Viktor’s lackies include Kong (Sahajak Boonthanakit; Hard Target 2, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li).
To call the dialogue extremely expository would be kind, it has all the dry over-explanation of a typical 80s or 90s action movie. And in that vein, we have nudity, eastern European criminals with penchants for leather jackets and cocaine, sex slaves, and the classic “one tough cop” trope. Our tough cop is Nick, and after he crosses paths with Viktor things spiral into an old Steven Seagal movie plot. Much as in Hard to Kill (1990), Nick’s home is invaded on the evening of his wedding anniversary, his wife is executed before his eyes, and then he’s shot and left for dead as the house explodes. But Nick is… wait for it… Hard to Kill. He somehow survives, wholesale murders every Serbian he can find, and sets out to turn this flick into a vigilante police revenge movie.
The action scenes range in quality from okay to pretty good, but nothing wowing—not considering the action star power behind it. Tony Jaa’s first fight scene features some serviceable belt-fu, and Michael Jai White’s skills seemed sorely underutilized early in the film. I’m reminded of Kill Zone (2005), which outweighed its martial arts with police drama. But, like any martial arts movie, the more significant fights come later. And that they do in spades!
The Jaa-Lundgren fight was entertaining and definitely stepped things up with some Jaa stunts in a fight that merges the close-quarter stylings of Li-Lundgren (The Expendables) and Diesel-Johnson (Fast Five). However, the overall execution of these scenes was technically lacking. The action photography was just okay, often with the camera distractingly moving (mid-shot) amid fight choreography—the kind of camerawork better suited for chaotic wide-angle warscapes filled with tanks and explosions, but that obscures the finer fast-paced combat techniques from even a careful eye. The subsequent editing was so choppy that, at times, it felt like six consecutive techniques might each have their own six cuts from six different camera angles—which is fine for a Die Hard (1988) brawl, but a major flaw when hindering viewers’ ability to be wowed by Tony Jaa’s dexterous flair. I can’t help but to wonder if this wasn’t to mask the agility-skill gap between Lundgren and Jaa. That said, Jaa has his moments (however less than he deserves) and the occasional several-second shot for an impressive combination of techniques flurrying his over-sized Swedish foe.
Though not as brutal or drawn out as the Jaa-Lundgren face-off, the White-Jaa fight offered richer exchanges of techniques. Of course, this should come as no surprise. Michael Jai White is outstanding as both a fighter and choreographer and delivers a sort of “tough guy” grace in his maneuvers. I wish he had more screen time.
Director Ekachai Uekrongtham (Halfworlds, Beautiful Boxer) has achieved a very entertaining action film that strikes me as equal parts 90s-esque hard-R gritty mainstream crime movie and Asian martial arts flick. The gunfights and chase scenes were passable (if we’re being nice), and the fight scenes seemed more limited by the experience of those behind the camera than before it. But while this falls below our stars’ heydays of Rocky IV (1985), Ong-Bak (2003) or Blood and Bone (2009), it remains kindly recommended for fans of its three action stars.
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Mindhorn: A Very Funny Film That Features Some Mind-Blowing Capoeira
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I’ve watched Mindhorn two times and I kinda want to watch it again right now. There is something about cringe-worthy British fictional comedic characters like David Brent (The Office) and Alan Partridge that I love and now the world has a new idiot named Richard Thorncroft who is perfectly self-absorbed. Director Sean Foley and writers Julian Barratt (The Mighty Boosh) and Simon Farnaby (the dude who wrote Paddington 2) have given the world a comedic gem that features fun characters, hilarious gags, and some beautiful capoeira.
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Mindhorn centers around a washed-up British actor named Richard Thorncroft (Julian Barratt) who blew his chance at massive stardom when he left his hit television show in an attempt to make it in Hollywood. His westward trip didn’t work out so he moved back to Walthamstow and pays his rent via girdle (man-spanx) commercials. After a sick twist of fate, he is asked to bring back his Mindhorn character because a madman on the Isle of Man will only deal with the fictional character. Thus, the massive blowhard has to return to a place he slagged off in order to aid in an investigation and eventually learn that he’s “an arsehole who realizes that he’s an arsehole.”
Being that Thorncraft is an absolute shit the investigation takes a wrong turn and things get much messier than they need to be. The main suspect might not even be a suspect and instead of closing the case everything gets more complicated as more deaths accrue and people get comically shot. Since he is back in the Isle of Man Thorncroft is reunited with his ex-girlfriend Patricia (Essie Davis) who is living with his former stuntman Clive (Simon Farnaby) who holds a pretty great grudge against him. Also, Thorncroft is broke so he gets back in touch with a former costar named Peter Easterman (Steve Coogan) whose spinoff Windjammer has become a massive success in order to get Mindhorn DVDs on the market.
After all the chess pieces are in place we are blessed with a silly mystery that builds to one of my favorite comedic moments in recent years. I don’t want to spoil anything but it involves a man who has been taped into a silly costume doing slow motion capoeira to avoid being shot by an A-list actress. When you watch the scene I guarantee you will have a smile on your face.
Mindhorn is a very funny movie that juggles multiple plotlines successfully and proves itself to be very silly. If you are looking for a good laugh I definitely recommend that you check this out on Netflix and listen to this classic pop song.
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The poster for The Rock’s upcoming film Skyscraper makes me really happy. I love when movie posters feature people making impossible jumps into skyscrapers that are ablaze. There is something about the impossibility of it that makes me want to crunch the numbers and figure out how the jump was accomplished. We all know that The Rock will make the impossible 40-foot jump (world record is 29 feet) and save everyone in the burning skyscraper. However, I wanted to know the logistics of the jump and if other cinematic jumps could compete. I’ve already covered Matthew McConaughey’s jump in Reign of Fire and I had a great time putting together the logistics so I was stoked to bust out my tape measure, level, and scrap paper to make sure I got the numbers as correct as I could (there is no way to get an exact number).
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What is the distance? – 40 feet. This is very safe to assume. I am 6’4 (almost the same height as The Rock) so I asked my surprised and supportive wife to measure me in the same pose that The Rock is in. we came to the conclusion that from toe to toe is 5 1/2 feet. The Rock takes up 3/4 of an inch on the poster (I used this poster) and the distance from the end of the crane to the bottom of the open window is 5 1/2 inches (40.3 feet – 40 is easier).
Here is a graphic that breaks down various cinematic jumps by non-propelled humans.
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What is the distance between floors? – I can’t be 100% sure but I’m confidently guessing 14.6 feet. Thus, there is a very tiny dropoff between the crane and the building.
Is it possible? Only if The Rock does it and he isn’t in The Other Guys.
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Will he make it? – Yep. I’m betting he will hit the building around chest height and pull himself up after some dramatics (think Raiders of the Lost Ark).
Has Any Movie Character Ever Come Close to This Jump? – The only movie character to come close was Matthew McConaughey in Reign of Fire. Actually, he would’ve gone further if that dang dragon wouldn’t have eaten him.
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Conclusion – We have a new world record! The Rock’s 40-foot jump is the longest by a non-propelled human in a movie ever. What I find most impressive is how he was able to accomplish this jump without hitting max speed and carrying a 250-pound frame.
If you like this dumb data make sure to check out my other posts!
- Jet Ski Action Scenes Are the Worst
- Zara the Assistant and Jurassic World
- Breaking Down The Mariner vs. Sea Beast Battle in Waterworld
- How Long Did it Take The Joker to Setup the Weapon Circle in Suicide Squad?
- Michael Myers Hates Blinkers
- Jason Voorhees Can’t Teleport?
- How Far Did the Merman Travel in The Cabin in the Woods?
- How Far Did Matthew McConaughey Jump in Reign of Fire?
- How Fast can Leatherface Run?
- Deep Blue Sea and Stellan Skarsgard
- How Far Did Michael Myers Drive in Halloween H20: 20 Years Later
- How Did the Geologist Get Lost in Prometheus?
- People Love a Bearded Kurt Russell
- A Closer Look at Movies That Feature the Words Great, Good, Best, Perfect and Fantastic
- An In-Depth Look At Movies That Feature Pencils Used as Weapons
- Cinematic Foghat Data
- Explosions and Movie Posters
- The Fast & Furious & Corona
- Nicolas Sparks Movie Posters Are Weird
- Predicting the RT score of Baywatch
- The Cinematic Dumb Data Podcast
- What is the best horror movie franchise?
- How Fast Can the Fisherman Clean a Trunk in I Know What You Did Last Summer?
- It’s Expensive to Feature Characters Being Eaten Alive and Surviving Without a Scratch
- How Long Does it Take Your Favorite Horror Movie Characters to Travel From NYC to San Francisco?
- What was the Guy’s Blood Pressure in Dawn of the Dead?
- Why Were There So Many Lemons in National Treasure?
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The Cloverfield Paradox: Space Exploration Seems Terrible
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The Cloverfield Paradox was dropped onto Netflix after the Superbowl and I love that I knew absolutely nothing about it (aside from it is mysterious). Netflix’s plan was smart because it got the internet buzzing and they were able to release it before the mystery and buzz disappeared due to the negative reviews and spoilers. The Cloverfield Paradox is the third film of the eclectic franchise and it sheds some light on how the jerky and destructive creatures made it to earth. It isn’t nearly as good as the first two installments but I found myself enjoying the familiar science fiction antics involving some very good actors like Daniel Bruhl, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Chris O’Dowd, David Oyelowo, John Ortiz and Ziyi Zhang.
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The Cloverfield Paradox focuses on a group of scientists who are testing a powerful machine called the Shephard Accelerator in space in order to potentially find a solution to earth’s energy crisis. The world’s denizens are close to a massive war and the feuds between countries have created a rift between the international crew of the space station which isn’t ideal due to the complicated nature of the mission. We are informed early on from an earthbound former astronaut that the accelerator might potentially rip open spacetime and unleash monsters, demons, and beasts from the sea (sound familiar?). However, since this is a thriller the scientists ignore the warnings and run the accelerator which leads to a whole lot of paranoia, infighting, and limbs separated from bodies.
What happens next is pure stock science fiction as scientists are picked off one-by-one in various setpieces. I wish I could say that I cared for the characters but due to the breakneck pace I felt nothing for the actors who were killed. I don’t think it’s necessary to make every character a three-dimensional marvel and the trappings of hard science fiction don’t require backstories for everyone. However, there isn’t anything distinguishable between the crew and the only two actors who stand out are Daniel Bruhl and Gugu Mbatha-Raw. Mbatha-Raw stands out because of the vulnerability and humanity she brings to the role of a scientist dealing with a family in peril on earth. I bought into her character and was surprised that actors like David Oyelowo and Chris O’Dowd barely register in the movie.
What made Cloverfield and 10 Cloverfield Lane work is they felt unique, assured and urgent. The filmmaker’s touch in the movies were evident and they were able to elevate their found footage and chamber thriller pedigrees. Actors like TJ Miller, John Goodman, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Lizzy Caplan were able to deliver fun performances and become memorable characters that you liked. You won’t find anything like this in The Cloverfield Paradox but you will have a fun time watching people you like being killed.
If you are a Cloverfield completist or science fiction fan I recommend you check out The Cloverfield Paradox.
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Columbus: A Thoughtful Film That Focuses on the Art of Growing Up
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Columbus is charming film that features stirring cinematography, assured direction, and likable lead performances from John Cho and Haley Lu Richardson. Director/writer Kogonada does a fine job telling a story about moving forward while showcasing the architecture of Columbus, Indiana. Columbus could’ve easily been a self-indulgent “indie” that features dialogue you only hear in movies, and static shots you only see in independent films. However, the static shots are framed around fantastic modernist architecture and the dialogue rings true because there is an actual reason for it. I can see the allure of a city like Columbus and the fact that it brings together two soulful people who are in very different stages of their life plays true. Kogonada has always come across as a deep thinking video essayist (they are very good) and you can tell he took his time with Columbus in order to make it as unique as the architecture. The film has many influences (Linklater, Anderson, Ozu, Bergman) but nothing feels overly copied and instead the walking-and-talking feels organic.
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Columbus centers around the meeting and eventual friendship of two very different people. Casey (Haley Lu Richardson) is a 19-year old high school graduate who stays in Columbus because she is worried about her mom having a drug relapse. She works in a library, frets constantly about her mom, and hangs out with a slightly older friend Gabriel (Rory Culkin) who indulges her in conversations that I never would’ve had when I was 19. One day, she meets Jin (John Cho) and the two hit it off quickly due to their mutual indecisiveness and fear of moving forward due to parental woes.
Jin is in town because his famous scholar father collapsed while in town to give a speech at the local university. Due to the father’s induced coma and weak state, Jin is stuck in the town and can’t return to his soul-draining job in Seoul, Korea. He is stuck in a holding pattern due to lack of drive and parent issues that have stopped him from pursuing his ambitions. His meeting with Casey was fortuitous because they push each other forward due to their parental issues and intelligence. Throughout their several meetings, they get to the core of their issues and push each other onward via arguments, agreements and late night talks.
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What I loved most about Columbus is how it doesn’t shy away from what it is. Kogonada is very clear when discussing his influences and he knows that there is a specific aesthetic and look to his debut film that can remind people of other films. I’ve always found it refreshing when directors embrace their influences and are able to make films that have their own personality and style. There have been many films that copy-and-paste their influences and they feel lifeless and stock. Columbus found a way to showcase architecture organically and I 100% believe that someone like Casey would invest herself in the modernist architecture as a way to find meaning and control in her life. Thus, she would take a new acquaintance on a tour because it’s what she knows and can control.
Columbus is a very good film and if you are looking for something that is thoughtful, patient and smart you will dig it.
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Paddington 2: The Best Thing Since Paddington
Paddington 2 is quite possibly the nicest film ever made and it is filled to the brim with likable characters, inventive set pieces and Brendan Gleeson being bonked by a baguette. The 100% Rotten Tomatoes score is justified and even though there is a lot of hyperbole around the sequel I think it has earned the praise. Very rarely do films manage to uplift, entertain and put a smile on your face that won’t leave. I can’t think of the last time I left a theater so happy and that is testament to writer/director Paul King and writer Simon Farnaby. King does a fine job balancing a PG Wes Anderson-esque tone while making everyone look great in pink prison outfits.
You need to watch the visiting room clip.
Paddington 2 focuses on everyone’s favorite South American bear getting used to his life in London and trying to find ways to buy a beautiful pop-up book that he can send to his aunt in Peru. After a fateful meeting with a pompous actor named Phoenix Buchanon (Hugh Grant – nails it), the priceless book is stolen and Paddington becomes the main suspect. After a quick trial, Paddington finds himself in prison which allows Phoenix to freely follow the treasure map that is housed in the book. The money from the treasure will get the penniless Phoenix the money he needs to stage his comeback one-man show which will most certainly involve lots of pomp and wardrobe changes (I’d love to see it).
The rest of the film focuses on Paddington’s adopted family trying to clear his name and find the book that Phoenix has in his possession. In their quest they meet a coffee drinking security guard (Simon Barnaby), infiltrate Phoenix’s home and allow Hugh Bonneville to look awesome.
Paddington’s time in prison is anything but hard as he quickly wins all the prisoners over and soon has them cooking delicious food in the surprisingly stocked kitchen. The key to making prison better was winning over the feared Knuckles McGinty (Brendan Gleeson) with his delicious marmalade sandwich recipe and overall kindness. Eventually, Knuckles and several other prisoners stage an escape (think Grand Budapest Hotel) to allow Paddington to clear his name and get that sweet book back for his aunt. From there, it’s all very likable and ends up with a very fun set piece aboard a train.
Paddington 2 is a very nice film that swings for the fences and never feels lazy. It could’ve easily rested on the first films success, but instead embraces making everything more of the same but different (that is good). If you are looking for a very fun movie that will leave a smile on your face they don’t get any better than Paddington 2.
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The MFF Podcast #116: Happy Death Day and PG-13 Horror
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You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Podbean, or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
The MFF podcast is back and we are talking about the very fun Happy Death Day. We had a blast discussing Jessica Rothe’s excellent performance and behind the scenes stories that helped it become a very successful film. I love the movie and found it to be very refreshing in its willingness to have fun, tell a simple story and rely on likable people. We also discuss the Blumhouse productions back-catalog and ponder the difference between PG-13 and R-rated horror films.
Jessica Rothe is very likable in Happy Death Day.
As always, we answer random listener questions and discuss the fact that we haven’t watched Taken 3. If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
Here is the link for the Event Horizon blu-ray that we discussed on the pod.
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Podbean, or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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MFF Special: Analyzing the Odds – Zara’s Demise in Jurassic World
Many people have been killed in the four Jurassic Park films. Whether it be getting smooshed by a Tyrannosaurus Rex or sideswiped by a clever Velociraptor we’ve been blessed with some gnarly dinosaur related deaths. The majority of the deaths have all happened somewhat organically due to the fact that on multiple occasions people been dumb enough to travel to islands filled with carnivorous monsters. Death is par for the course when battling dinosaurs and aside from Peter Stormare being dumb in The Lost World: Jurassic Park, I’ve never really felt that they were unnecessary or cruel. However, there is one death in Jurassic World that has garnered a lot of attention for being straight up mean. The destruction of Zara the assistant (Katie McGrath – long live A Princess for Christmas) via two Pterosaurs and a Mosasaurus is unique because she is the first women to be killed onscreen in the franchise, and it is a very long and brutal demise that is brought forth by her being forced to be a babysitter.
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Zara’s death has gotten a lot of press (here, here and here) and her character is even considered to be a hero to some (Thanks Cracked!). I kinda love that one death in a film stuffed with murder via dinosaur has stood out and become a lightning rod. That is why I watched the movie again, took a ton of notes and analyzed pretty much every diagram of the park. The reason I did so much research is that I wanted to know the odds of Zara’s death. I’m not here to hate on the film, or create something snarky in regards to Jurassic World. If you’ve read my other stuff you know I love filling in the blanks via educated guesswork, randomness and burning a lot of my free time.
It was a long day for Zara.
The following features total guesswork and after looking at all the factors there is no way to accurately answer the following question:
What are the odds that Zara the assistant would be picked up by two Pterosaurs, dumped into the massive lagoon, and swallowed whole by a Mosasaurus while at Jurassic World?
As I tracked Zara’s progress through the park I originally came up with odds that were astronomical (1 in 300 billion). After a lot of soul-searching (via punch dancing in abandoned warehouses) I decided to go with a more pragmatic approach. I originally included divorce rates, square mileage, aviary destruction and stupidity in the equation. But, after talking to people who are much smarter than I am, I was able to narrow down the odds and get it to something that slightly resembles a believable number.
Here we go!
Sidenote: There is no way to know the exact answer. However, I’ve tried to be as pragmatic as possible in an effort to make this number somewhat practical.
- Jurassic World had been open for 10 years (all year round = 3,650 days) and they never had an animal escape. – (1 in 3,650)
- According to park numbers, there were 21,216 guests at the park.
- I’m guessing that 150 Pterosaurs (and other flying beasts) escaped when the Indomnious Rex and helicopter crashed into the aviary. Let’s say one-in-three of the flying beasts (50) were big enough to pick up one of the guests, and that each one picked up one person (50 in 21,216 – 1 in 424).
- The majority of the guests had been pushed into the front area of the park. It is a very large area and I’m guessing half of the people were close to the massive lagoon that housed the Mosasaurus. (1 in 2).
- If a large Pterosaur attacked you, the odds of it flying off with you alive or able to fight would be about 1 in 2. I gave it those odds because there is an instance where the large flying beast landed on a guy and seemed to be destroying him on the ground.
- After being grabbed by a Pterosaur, the odds of you fighting back would be 1 in 2.
- If you were picked up close to the water you’d have a 1 in 2 chance of being dropped into the water.
Poor Zara. She didn’t deserve such a gnarly fate.
The pragmatic odds of being at Jurassic World during a mass animal escape in which you are picked up by a Pterosaur and dropped into a Mosasaurus tank is 1 in 24,761,600 (3,650 x 424 x 16). There had never been a large scale dinosaur escape in the 10 years the park had been open and nobody had ever been dropped into a large lagoon by a Pterosaur. Also, being that there are 20,000+ people, the odds of being singled out by the 50 attacking Pterosaurs was very slight. Also, I feel terrible for her because she ended up dead because she had to watch two punks while people willingly let out a dinosaur that had active camouflage.
Here is what lead Zara to her death.
- She is forced to look after her bosses nephews because their parents are getting a divorce (She’s British…she will be great).
- The nephews promptly run away from her leaving stressed out, worried and still having to do her day job.
- Due to some very bad decisions, the Indomnius Rex is let out of its cage.
- The nephews decide to ignore park warnings and stay out in the park in the moving bubble thing.
- The Indomnius Rex is chased into a massive aviary holding very hungry flying creatures. The people in the helicopter essentially chased it into the aviary……
- The nephews hotwire a car and drive back into the park via the west gate.
- Zara collects the kids, and they run away from her which forces her to chase them.
- The nephews stop in the middle of the carnage and Zara turns to see what they are doing.
- A massive pterosaur picks her up and flies away with her.
- Another pterosaur steals her away and flies toward the lagoon.
- Poor Zara is dropped into the lagoon.
- Pterosaurs dive into the water and one of them managed to lift her out of the water.
- A Mosasaurus eats both Zara and the bird.
- None of the main characters care.
- I hope her fiance and parents get a massive settlement.
In conclusion: I feel really bad for Zara.
If you like this post make sure to check out my other dumb data posts! Enjoy!
- Jet Ski Action Scenes Are the Worst
- Breaking Down The Mariner vs. Sea Beast Battle in Waterworld
- How Long Did it Take The Joker to Setup the Weapon Circle in Suicide Squad?
- Michael Myers Hates Blinkers
- Jason Voorhees Can’t Teleport?
- How Far Did the Merman Travel in The Cabin in the Woods?
- How Far Did Matthew McConaughey Jump in Reign of Fire?
- How Fast can Leatherface Run?
- Deep Blue Sea and Stellan Skarsgard
- How Far Did Michael Myers Drive in Halloween H20: 20 Years Later
- How Did the Geologist Get Lost in Prometheus?
- People Love a Bearded Kurt Russell
- A Closer Look at Movies That Feature the Words Great, Good, Best, Perfect and Fantastic
- An In-Depth Look At Movies That Feature Pencils Used as Weapons
- Cinematic Foghat Data
- Explosions and Movie Posters
- The Fast & Furious & Corona
- Nicolas Sparks Movie Posters Are Weird
- Predicting the RT score of Baywatch
- The Cinematic Dumb Data Podcast
- What is the best horror movie franchise?
- How Fast Can the Fisherman Clean a Trunk in I Know What You Did Last Summer?
- It’s Expensive to Feature Characters Being Eaten Alive and Surviving Without a Scratch
- How Long Does it Take Your Favorite Horror Movie Characters to Travel From NYC to San Francisco?
- What was the Guy’s Blood Pressure in Dawn of the Dead?
- Why Were There So Many Lemons in National Treasure?
Movies, Films & Flix 