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Analyzing the Foot Chase and Sheet Washing in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Remake

June 6, 2017

I fell asleep while watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 2003. It is a stock remake that looks glossy, plays ugly and I haven’t really given it a second thought. The movie may be forgettable but there is a moment that has stuck with me for years. Watch the clip below and pay attention to what happens during the 1:16 – 1:37 range.

 

 

Here is the breakdown of the 20 second foot chase.

1:16 – 1:30 – Leatherface chases Andy through a never-ending maze of bed sheets.

1:31 – Leatherface veers off and makes a uber sprint

1:37 – Andy has no leg

1:38 – I’m wondering how that would’ve happened.

For years I’ve wondered how a lumbering killer managed to run ahead of a sprinting kid named Andy in the span of seconds. Lately, I’ve become emboldened with my dumb horror statistics and I decided to finally figure out Leatherface’s mad sprint. Here is what happens (according to some math and guesswork). Let’s assume Andy covered 194 feet in 20 seconds according to the standard time/distance of a 9-minute mile.

9-minute mile = 586 feet per minute.

586 / 60 = 9.7 feet per second

194 feet covered in 20 seconds.

He was slowed down a bit by the sheets but there were moments of outright sprinting which lead me to the 9-minute mile approximation. During the first 12 seconds Leatherface is about 10 feet behind him. However, in a five second span the bulky murderer exploded around Andy and managed to chop off his leg. I don’t think Leatherface is a supernatural fellow so I went ahead and did the math to see how he could possibly get around Andy.

Before I get to the numbers I want to discuss the insane amount of sheets hanging up on the property. This involves some guesswork but there are about 20 rows of sheets hanging up outside. It looks like there are three sheets on each row which means the deadly family somehow washed and hung up 60 sheets in a logical and practical manner. Why are they using so many sheets? Here are some questions.

1. The average washer fits several sheets. Did Leatherface do 20 loads?

2. Hand washing each sheet individually would take at least 20 minutes. Did they take 18 hours to hand wash?

3. Why are the dry sheets still out?

4. Do they leave the sheets out to snag people in?

.

Back to the chase! After watching the video way too many times it looks like Andy is running in a pretty straight line. There isn’t much zigzagging or tripping which allows Leatherface to catch up. So, how in the heck did Leatherface manage to get in front of Andy in five seconds?

The art ain’t good but the measurements are close.

In the span of Andy running 48.5 feet (1:31 – 1:36) Leatherface ran around Andy, managed to plant his feet and swing a chainsaw. This means he had to cover at least 72 feet in five seconds to get around the guy to chop off his leg. Thus, Leatherface sprinted to a speed of a 6.1 minute mile during his five second burst. I find it really impressive that a man who is 6’5 and weighs 265 (actual height/weight of actor) can run that fast around sheets while holding a chainsaw.

There you have it! The mystery is somewhat solved. Now I need to figure out those sheets.

If you liked this post make sure to check out my series featuring random data and useless numbers. Start with my groundbreaking posts about Deep Blue Sea and Stellan Skarsgard and Halloween H20 then work your way down the list!

  1. Jet Ski Action Scenes Are the Worst
  2. A Closer Look at Movies That Feature the Words Great, Good, Best, Perfect and Fantastic
  3. An In-Depth Look At Movies That Feature Pencils Used as Weapons
  4. Cinematic Foghat Data
  5. Explosions and Movie Posters
  6. The Fast & Furious & Corona
  7. Nicolas Sparks Movie Posters Are Weird
  8. Predicting the RT score of Baywatch
  9. The Cinematic Dumb Data Podcast
  10. What is the best horror movie franchise?

 

 

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. June 6, 2017 4:02 pm

    Oh man, I love it! This is some sharp, witty stuff here. “Sheet City…” still laughing.

    • June 6, 2017 4:07 pm

      Thanks! The world needed to know.

    • John Leavengood permalink
      June 6, 2017 8:17 pm

      I love that the “end zone” area is label “FREEDOM.” LMAO

  2. John Leavengood permalink
    June 6, 2017 8:35 pm

    Perhaps the sheets were for a little Bed ‘n Breakfast run by the twisted Sawyer family. Although, I doubt they’d ever be so full as to use “all” the sheets, nor would they have so many sheets unless they were running the Bates Motel, and with all the killing they’d likely never get the blood stains outta those sheets. So then they’d just need new sheets every time. Dang! What WERE they doing cleaning all those sheets at once???? This is as daunting as a Sphinx’s Riddle!

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