Bad Movie Tuesday: China O’Brien (1990), small town crime lords, spin kicks, confused law men and Cynthia Rothrock.
MY CALL: This is on the better side of the Cynthia Rothrock movie spectrum. It’s highly stupid, but highly entertaining if you are in a “bad movie” mood. MOVIES LIKE China O’Brien: Well, don’t watch Outside the Law (2002) or Night Vision (1997) unless you’re looking for proper Bad Movie Tuesday material. They are awful! You might also try the Brazilian remake of China O’Brien called Only the Strong (1993) or the “old white guy” re-imagining Walker, Texas Ranger (1993-2001). Clearly Rothrock has left her mark in cinema history!
Written and directed by the legendary Robert Clouse (Enter the Dragon, Game of Death, Gymkata), this is far better than the likes of Outside the Law (2002) or Night Vision (1997) but falls far short of a Bruce Lee movie. Clouse has handled fine martial artists on screen before and understands how to stage tandem techniques (6-12 techniques per cut) to provide an enjoyable action movie experience for martial arts fans and general (bad movie) action fans alike. But even though Rothrock is capable of some impressive stunts please make no mistake, this absolutely is a Bad Movie Tuesday quality movie! LOL.
After a grown-ass man in a mid-drift belly t-shirt doubts the practical utility of martial arts in front of his karate instructor (Cynthia Rothrock; Night Vision, Outside the Law, Undefeatable) and her class, he challenges China to a back alley fight with five guys. “You and five guys,” he says. Is that 5 on 5, her plus 5 against him plus 5… or 5 on her? Because this sounds vaguely like an invitation to a gang rape. Well, we never find out what it was meant to be because China (big city police officer by day and martial arts instructor by night) gets ambushed by a gang of random criminals in the alley that evening and, because of an otherwise justified shooting resulting in the death of a minor, China surrenders her badge.
To clear her head China returns to her little home town to stay with her father, the local sheriff. She’s in town not 10 minutes before accidently offending all the Podunk townies with her nice clothes and big fancy words—clearly “she thinks she’s better than us.” So a silly bar fight ensues with her in her nice clothes, a man “attacks” her by grabbing her butt, and she kicks down a group of guys like dominoes like something out of a cartoon. As far as martial arts movies go, this is really campy and the setting feels a bit like Walker, Texas Ranger (1993-2001) meets Walking Tall (1973, 2004) with a dash of Roadhouse (1989).
Now Rothrock is no Jackie Chan. But she earns her title as the Queen of Martial Arts by executing stunts rarely seen performed by white actors and outside of Hong Kong cinema. She nails aerial cartwheels from higher ground and does all manner of physics defiant strength maneuvers all the while narrating the names and utility of the techniques like a Shaolin master teaching her pupil in some 1970s Kung Fu Theater flick—which she thankfully stops doing after the opening fight scene. It’s so corny, but it’s surely enjoyable as long as you weren’t expecting anything serious. Compared to this, Van Damme is 100% straight-faced serious. Oh, and evidently Rothrock is a T-800 series Terminator because she never appears to be phased by having someone twice her size punch her in the face!
What’s really “interesting” about the action choreography is that that “characters” are just as good at things as the “actors” are. For example, Rothrock has kicked someone like 10,000 times—so when she kicks someone the kick looks good. But an actor that hasn’t “been kicked” too often looks like a stuntman school dropout in this movie and, worse yet, an actor who has never strangled someone will offer up the least inspired strangling scene on record. You basically sit there wishing the strangling assassin would die from his own poor technique.
Nobody panic. It’s just a dead hooker.
This movie also has no sense of pacing. We go from a contemporary Kung Fu theater flick with lots of technical action, to a long run of boring exposition and painful acting, and then find our point of conflict when China’s dad dies in an exploding car assassination and we see her (and her boobs) run and jump in slow motion. Then the movie shifts to nothing but fights—lots of them. China didn’t know how long she’d be in town, but now we know she’ll stay until she avenges her father and takes down the local crime lord.
Within days of leaving her big city job China is running for sheriff to replaced her murdered father so she can take on a syndicate of shockingly poorly organized small town criminals.
So what makes this a bad movie? Here are a few clues:
- The town is protected by a “seasoned career sheriff” who seems to know nothing about the law. And he’s subsequently replaced by his daughter who constantly breaks the law to enforce it.
- Slow motion boob running for the sake of slow motion boob running.
- The sound effect of bowling pins when kicking down five guys at once.
- Car explosions. Multiple car explosions. 80s and 90s movies loved bad guys who killed people with car bombs. I’m not sure why.
- A completely unexplained Australian accent in BFE, Utah. This character Matt (Richard Norton) grew up with China, so he presumably lived in the town since the late 1950s.
- Crime “lords” that bother with tiny towns. Of course, these criminals seem to really suck at crime.
- Criminals being deputized the day after being arrested for attempted murder and posting bail (imaged below). And to make up for it, China deputizes a bunch of Matt’s high school gym class students who run around town punching bad guys with deputy badges pinned to their tank tops!
- No explanations whatsoever, for ANYTHING! (see items 1-7…and 9-11)
- Using the ass-grab technique as a viable bar fight attack. The fight already started and everyone there wants to knock China out. So, wild haymaker to the face or…perhaps…ass grab? Good choice. Ass grab.
- A one-handed Native American ninja (Dakota) who inexplicably couldn’t fight until he lost his hand—and, speaking of which, I didn’t know that stepping on someone’s hand resulted in amputation! How and where did this guy learn to fight? And why couldn’t he fight at all before?
- This is a big one. China’s name “China” is never explained—but I figure it’s to make us associate Rothrock’s character with Asian martial arts. But she (Rothrock and her character) was born in the late 50s and grew up in a small, ill-educated town that probably lost a lot of men to American wars, and China and America went to war in the early 1950s. It was kind of a big deal! So wouldn’t her dad think better of naming her after a rather hated country at the time?
Rothrock actually shares the fighting screen spotlight almost equally with her two martial artist co-stars Richard Norton (Mad Max: Fury Road, Roadhouse 2: Last Call) and Keith Cooke (Mortal Kombat). The spin kicks are abundant but never awesome, the plot points are idiotic, and there’s nothing wowing to be found here. You’ll be consistently entertained but you won’t get piss drunk and try to emulate any of it with your friends…like I did after watching Van Damme movies in the 90s.
What is he even doing here!?!?!?!
Setting his stump from stun to kill?
This movie is not good, but it can be really entertaining if you walk into it with the right Bad Movie Tuesday frame of mind. Keep in mind, nothing is going to make sense in this movie. So if you can decide ahead of time that something like this would be funny, then you’ll come out of this a winner! I did! And I actually expected a totally serious R-rated action movie like the old Jeff Speakman (The Perfect Weapon, Street Knight) and Steven Seagal (Hard to Kill, Under Siege) days.
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Stranger Things: A Modern Blast From the Past
Stranger Things is a nostalgic romp that brings the scares and Jaws references. I just watched all eight episodes and I think they are the best thing on television since True Detective season one (Fargo season two is close). A lot of the press surrounding the show has focused on how influenced it is by films like Jaws, Evil Dead, The Thing and anything Stephen King (King Steve). I get that it has many influences, but in a day and age of remakes, reboots, spin-offs, sequels, prequels and spiritual sequels I like that we got an original story that wears its influences on its sleeve and is unapologetic about it.
What I find most impressive is how The Duffer brothers were able to create/write/direct something that didn’t feel like a cheap imitation of what they loved when they were growing up. They took the greatest hits of their childhood and formed their own story. It would be too easy to create something without a soul and simply call it nostalgia (Jurassic World). Instead, they crafted likable characters, new worlds and a killer soundtrack in order to surprise the world. Stranger Things feel familiar but a lot of it is unexpected. I’d compare it to The Rolling Stones covering The Beatles. You know the songs, but it all feels new because we are hearing different interpretations of the songs.
Stephen King appreciates the copying.
Stranger Things centers around the hunt for a young boy who was dragged into a place called “the upside down” by a badass monster (viva la practical effects!!!). The ensuing manhunt brings together an eclectic group of characters who all have moments to shine. Whether it be the boy’s mom Joyce (Winona Ryder), brother Jonathan (Charlie Heaton) or his best friends Mike, Dustin and Lucas (Finn Wolfhard, Gaten Matarazzo, Caleb McLaughlin) they all have something to do. Add in local police chief Jim Hopper (David Harbour) and likable teenagers Nancy (Natalia Dyer) and Steve (Joe Keery) and you have a neat ensemble of people you like.
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My favorite character is 11 (Millie Bobby Brown). 11 has special “Professor X” powers and was raised to become a weapon by her “papa” Dr. Martin Brenner (Matthew Modine). However, something goes terribly awry, and she escapes from the evil government facility (very Amblin) and gets taken in by the trio of young kids. Throughout the show 11 puts herself in a lot of hurt to help others. She has seen things nobody else should see yet she keeps plugging along to help others and enjoy some Eggo waffles. Millie Bobby Brown has one of the most emotive faces I’ve ever seen. A lot is asked of her and she knocks everything out of the park. She is the true breakout star of Stranger Things and her character is going to become a fan favorite.
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I don’t want to get into spoiler territory because watching it unsullied was an absolute delight. I am still amazed at the pacing of the episodes and I kept expecting the energy to lag. The eight-episode season was a wise decision because there isn’t enough time for things to drag. I really like Netflix’s Daredevil and Jessica Jones but I’ve always felt that their 13-episode seasons were too long. Things get drawn out in the middle, and it seems like the creators are treading water to fill all the episodes. Stranger Things plows headlong towards a pretty great conclusion.
Stranger Things is drenched in 1980s set design and the soundtrack was carefully chosen to draw nostalgic responses from the audience. I had a lot of fun picking out the film references and my favorite moment involves bicycles and something flying in the air. The score is a nice call back to the days when John Carpenter (Halloween, The Thing, Escape From New York) was crushing synth scores that are still popular today. Check out the opening score and I guarantee you will want this blaring in your car.
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I loved every second of Stranger Things and I applaud the Duffer brothers for creating something more than a bland copy. Watch Stranger Things now and appreciate every second of the 80s (and some 70s) awesomeness!
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I loved every second of Stranger Things (review here) and I hope that it leads younger generations to movies like The Thing and Evil Dead. The show proudly wears classic influences on it sleeves, and because of that it doesn’t feel like a shameless ripoff. The following post covers five films that you need to check out after watching the show. I know a lot of you cinephiles have watched them, but there are many people who aren’t insane movie watchers like we are.
Here are five films you should watch after finishing Stranger Things.
1. Under the Skin (2014)
Under the Skin is a mesmerizing film that captures Scotland’s dreary beauty while blasting us with the most sensory film of 2014. I love that there is zero backstory or expository hand holding. It is a remarkably simple movie that still leaves many questions unanswered. It is a pure and unadulterated experience that could be vivisected or simply appreciated. My advice is to turn off the lights, turn up the volume and allow yourself to fully appreciate a spellbinding experience.
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2. The Thing (1982)
The Thing is the greatest horror remake ever (aside from The Fly) and it features one of the best endings of all time (this isn’t hyperbole). If you are looking for gross practical effects and a great Kurt Russell beard you are in luck. John Carpenter stuffed The Thing with great music, suspense and characters. I could watch Kurt Russell and Keith David bicker and fight aliens all day. You need to watch The Thing.
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3. Evil Dead (1983)
My hope is that people watch the original Evil Dead then work their way through the statistically speaking greatest horror franchise ever. Evil Dead is a bonkers masterpiece that came from the brain of director and horror maestro Sam Raimi. What I love most about the Evil Dead series is the main character Ash (Bruce Campbell). He is a massive idiot who continually fails his way to the top and saves the day. Movies don’t get more bonkers than Evil Dead.
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4. They Live (1988)
They Live is a cult classic personified. It is weird, smart and features one of the best fight scenes ever. John Carpenter’s take on 80s consumerism is wildly uneven, but it has a fun personality that blends intelligence, insanity and glorious one-liners. You will never look at bubble gum the same again.
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5. Jaws (1975)
Jaws is my favorite film and if you haven’t watched it yet there is something wrong with you (or you are busy and have a life). I had a Jaws poster on my wall as a kid and I loved that the poster is featured prominently in Stranger Things. I know the majority of you reading have watched this film many times, but hopefully this serves as a reminder for those who haven’t. You need to watch it!
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The MFF Podcast #66: The 2016 MFF Summer Olympics
You can download the pod on Itunes or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
With the Rio Summer Olympics right around the corner we here at MFF decided to contribute to the games. We compiled highly scientific lists (not really) and picked cinematic athletes who could win gold. These athletes have been training for years (or not at all) and they are ready to represent the country of MFF. I am 100% certain this crew would sweep up all the medals and confuse many!
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As always, we answer random listener questions and co-host Leavengood once again proves his undying love for Deadpool. If you are interested make sure to check our fantasy football and basketball teams. They are amazing and will change your life.
Sit back, relax and listen to discussions about E.T. winning several gold medals. Check out the MFF pod on Blog Talk Radio or head over to Itunes and listen to the randomness!
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I love bringing together random cinematic characters and making them engage in sports. Whether it be Football or Basketball we here at MFF love considering whether the Sarlacc Pitt would be a great defensive back or power forward. The following post brings together a weird grouping of characters who could win gold at the Rio Summer Olympics. I’ve stayed away from the obvious picks and instead picked some more eclectic choices.
Here are the movie characters that could win gold!
James Bond (Skyfall) – High Dive
I love Skyfall and I’ve always wondered how Bond was able to survive the massive fall after being shot. if he can survive that fall I’d guarantee he’d kill it on the high dive.
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Snake Plissken (Escape From L.A.) – Modern Pentathlon
He already completed the science fiction pentathlon (surfing, basketball, motorcycle riding, hang gliding) in Escape from L.A. so I don’t see him having a problem with the modern version.
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E.T. (E.T.) – BMX Cycling.
I guarantee there is no rule for levitation because rulemakers would never expect that. E.T. would win on a loophole and the judges would be pissed.
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James “The Grim Reaper” Roper (The Great White Hype) – Boxing
I just want to see more out-of-shape Daman Wayans punching people. Dude was great in the 1990s.
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Ramada Thompson (Hot Shots) – Equestrain Eventing
Ramada’s horse skills are unparalleled and I guarantee she would win gold. You need to watch Hot Shots.
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Tiffany and Paul Solitano (Silver Linings Playbook) – Ball Room Dancing
They would definitely spice up the Olympics. I’d imagine they’d be the Eddie the Eagle of the dance world.
Frank the Tank (Old School) – Rhythmic Gymnastics
Frank did this beautiful routine on very little notice. Imagine what he could do with years of training?
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Nick Condon – (Blood on the Sun) – Judo
James Cagney has a black belt in Judo and this fight is bonkers proof. There are lots and lots and lots of flips.
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The Polecats (Mad Max: Fury Road) – Pole Vaulting
If they can master post-apocalyptic death traps these people would have no problem conquering regular sports.
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The Merman (Cabin in the Woods) – Freestyle swimming
The Merman would be a literal and figurative terror in a pool. Competitors would have no chance against this guy.
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Anybody from Top Gun – Beach Volleyball
The Top Gun fellas are absolute class at absolutely everything. It doesn’t matter that they do because they will be awesome at it. The net might have to be lowered though.
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The Invitation: A Dinner Party With a Side of Cult
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What I like about The Invitation is I knew where it was going, but its destination was way better than unexpected. This little horror(ish) film takes its time and if you didn’t know about it beforehand you would expect this is simply another good-looking people at a dinner party film (is that a genre?). Director Karyn Kusama has made a film that delivers one of the best horror endings I’ve seen in years. She builds slowly and confidently and trusts her leading man Logan Marshall-Green to deliver a subtle performance that blends sadness, paranoia, anger and a great beard.
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The film opens with Will (Logan Marshall-Green) and his wife Kira (Emayatzy E. Corinealdi) heading to a dinner party thrown by his ex-wife Eden (Tammy Blanchard) and her partner David (Michiel Huisman). Eden and David have just come back from Mexico and they are hosting an “invitation” for a group of their closest friends. In Mexico, Eden and David joined a cult and they open up the gathering with a creepy video of a woman dying. The members of the dinner party are thrown by the video, but any skepticism is washed away by great booze and food. Nobody seems to notice the strange goings-on except for Will who picks up on random clues and is justifiably concerned that Eden and David invited a squirrely woman named Sadie (Lindsay Budge) and the creepy guy from Zodiac (John Carroll Lynch) over for dinner as well. As the old friends reunite everything gets weird and we left wondering where it is all headed.
The Invitation is told from Will’s uneven perspective and his paranoia begins to get the better of him. He is still reeling from the loss of his child and he begins to see things that may not be there. The film builds to a bloody conclusion that isn’t drawn out and plays realistic in the sense that nobody in this situation would know what to do. I don’t want to go any further into the plot but consider it something along the lines of The Sacrament meeting Coherence.
Movies like The Invitation are rare because they ask a lot of the viewer. In order to fully appreciate it you need to immerse yourself in it to get the full-effect. I totally recommend you check it out and embrace the dinner party shenanigans.
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Bad Movie Tuesday: Gods of CGI Egypt
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Gods of Egypt is a weird movie directed by the talented director Alex Proyas (The Crow, Dark City). It is a bright blob of CGI that features stiff performances, white Egyptians and Gerard Butler yelling a lot. It is a mishmash of Egyptian history, glossy colors and a few really cool ideas. It represents the worst of big budget film making because it homogenizes cool ideas and moves so quickly you don’t care about anything. There are chases scenes, giant snakes and plunging neck-lines but it becomes boring. The $140 million film bombed at the box-office and feels like it was filmed in 2001, forgotten about, then dumped into the theaters this year.
I wonder if the distressed looks are from watching the dailies?
Gods of Egypt tells the story of the Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) attempting to get revenge on his uncle Set (Gerard Butler). Why does he want revenge? Well, on the day he was to become king, Set killed his parents, stole his girlfriend and ripped out his eyes. Set takes over world, and it becomes a gross place where nobody has money to go into the afterlife (Set is a jerk). However, a resourceful and underwritten thief named Bek (Brenton Thwaites) steals back Horus’s eyes and they go a mission to save the thieve’s girlfriend Zaya (Courtney Eaton) and kill Set. What follows is a bonkers movie that plays like The Immortals met Wrath of the Titans then teamed up with Prince of Persia and spawned something silly. It is stuck in a boring middle ground between blockbuster and Monty Python sketch. I kept waiting for this to happen.
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I’ve been a fan of director Alex Proyas for 22 years now. He stormed out of the gate with The Crow, then directed the beautiful Dark City. From there his talents were wasted in I, Robot, Knowing and now Gods of Egypt. His films are always best when they feature grimy settings and R-rated violence. His style doesn’t blend well with CGI because he needs something practical to ground the science fiction in. In The Crow and Dark City he created iconic characters and moments that thrived in the bleak and layered settings. His CGI PG-13 films are basically all smash, crash and more smash. The chase scenes follow a strict structure of people running from CGI creations while the CGI creations destroy CGI structures. There is no creativity to the action and I found myself missing the Brendan Fraser classic (yeah, I said it) The Mummy.
Gods of Egypt is a wasted world building opportunity. It feels like they put it together in a couple months and forgot about making it good. You can’t will a franchise into existence, and I hate that it might prevent future original properties from being released.
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The MFF Podcast #65: Listener Questions Strike Back
You can download the pod on Itunes or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
Summary: Join us as we dedicate an entire episode to your listener questions about psychological torture vs torture porn, feminist themes and double standards in Hollywood and film, the nonsense physics of Ant-Man and plastic surgery. If you want to hear more listener question shenanigans, check out Episode #56: Listener Questions.
“Are brutal avengers and sadists limited to men in modern horror?”
“What’s harder to watch: paper cuts or broken leg scenes?”
“What in the world is a microverse and what does it mean to Pim particles?”
LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO,
or head over iTunes so you can download, REVIEW, RATE and SHARE the pod.
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Everybody Relax, I’m Here: An Appreciation of Jack Burton and Big Trouble in Little China
Listen to our Big Trouble in Little China podcast episode!
Big Trouble in Little China’s Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) is my favorite action hero/sidekick because he is all too human. He is insecure, boisterous and has an unearned confidence that keeps him alive. The brilliance of Jack Burton lies in the fact that he isn’t a cop, spy, superhero, savior or robot. He is a truck driver who is prone to blowhard antics and loud proclamations. However, when it comes down to fighting for others (and his truck) he squares off against pure evil and puts a knife in its head.
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One of the reasons Jack Burton works so well is because of Kurt Russell’s partnership with writer W.D. Richter and director John Carpenter. The Big Trouble script was originally written by Gary Goldman and David Z. Weinstein and was supposed to be a western with Clint Eastwood in mind. However, once Carpenter got involved the plot changed and morphed into the story of a truck driver failing his way to the top. Richter, Carpenter and Russell created a unique character that pretty much everyone misunderstood because he was unlike anything audiences had ever seen. I love that there is no ego to Russell’s performance and his unselfishness allowed others to shine while be bumbled around and got uncomfortable in elevators.
I love the random burp.
John Carpenter wanted Burton to be an “anti-John Wayne” that featured all of the swagger and none of the skill. Russell took that to heart and imbued Jack with a legit physicality and little self-awareness. He is a blowhard with a heart of gold and gets legitimately flustered when a beautiful woman comes in contact with him. I like that Jack Burton wasn’t incredibly muscular and instead looked like he lifted drywall on his days off. Burton’s lack of cartoonish muscles helped create an everyday man vibe that stood in stark contrast to action heroes like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone. I also appreciate that Jack Burton didn’t get the girl (Kim Cattrall was out of his league) and ended up in the same place he began. Jack Burton started the film on the road and ended the film on the road.
Much ado has been made of Jack Burton the sidekick. I 100% agree with him not being the hero because Wang Chi (Dennis Dun) is the real hero who can punch, kick and sword fight with the best of them. However, I’m more impressed that Jack kept swinging away despite his obvious limitations and skills. Big Trouble in Little China plays out believably because Burton’s only chance to live is by dumb luck. The fact that he has no formal training makes me like him more. The guy has no fighting skills yet keeps running into the fray and surviving. The fact that a truck driver survived an epic magical battle is pretty amazing when you think about it. Don’t even get me started on his disguises because they are incredible, terrible and delusional at the same time.
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John Carpenter recently did an interview with Uproxx and he said this about Burton.
“On some level I think we’re all Jack Burtons, we all talk too much and we’re comically kind of tragically delusional and I think that’s what’s fun about him and us as a species.
Carpenter’s comment reminded me of a chapter from B-movie king Bruce Campbell’s autobiography. In the book If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor, Bruce tells a funny story about the time he showed off his horse riding skills while training for a role. Bruce had some equestrian skills from Army of Darkness and thought he was wowing all the trainers and production staff. When he got off the horse he asked the instructor how it looked, the instructor replied “Son, you look like a monkey humping a football.” When you watch Big Trouble in Little China look for the nuances that Russell adds to the action scenes. He is clumsy, cheeky and never pretty while in action. However, I bet in Burton’s mind he looks like Bruce Lee met Clint Eastwood and spawned the greatest action hero ever. Take a look at the picture below and you will notice a difference in shooting faces.
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What sets Jack Burton apart from other cult classic blowhards is that he has a genuine heart to go with his absurdity. Unlike Bruce Campbell’s Ash from Army of Darkness he isn’t responsible for the troubles and inadvertently finds himself in one dangerous situation after another. I love Ash but he is a pure and unadulterated dipshit. He can’t remember three simple words and over the course of a couple of films he becomes a womanizing maniac.
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There is nothing mean about Jack Burton and aside from some delusions of grandeur he has other people’s best interests in mind. He walks a fine “blowhard” line that never veers into the throat-ripping territory of MacGruber or the gonzo territory of Ash. The Jack Burton character has always had the luxury of not becoming watered down due to terrible sequels. Until the comic books came around in 2014, Jack Burton remained a singular and unique creation that didn’t need a sequel. I think the sequels would’ve been in the joke and it would’ve been a Fletch/Fletch Returns scenario that took what we loved about the character, turned it to 11 and lost what we liked about him in the first place. The only sequel I’d pay to see is if Burton accidentally jumped into Optimus Prime and saves the world. I’d call it Big Trouble on Little Earth and it would be a buddy-comedy where Burton complains that Optimus won’t let him drive.
I’ve always been a fan of action heroes that feel like actual human beings. Whether it be Keanu Reeves in Speed, Boromir in The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring or Emily Blunt in Sicario I like fallibility in heroes. I like the Marvel cinematic universe but the superhero antics have kept me from caring about the action. The only scenes I’ve loved are when Tony escapes the cave in Iron Man and when Vision messes up the dinner in Captain America: Civil War. The same goes for the Fast & the Furious series. I appreciate that the first Furious movie features the heroes getting owned by a renegade truck driver. My favorite action films are 13 Assassins, The Raid, Aliens, Seven Samurai and The 13th Warrior (yeah, I said it). The characters in these films are outnumbered, outgunned and their victories are bittersweet.
If Dwayne Johnson ever gets around to the Big Trouble in little China remake I hope he remembers the moment when he got beat up by the villagers and monkeys in The Rundown. I think his size could be an advantage if he plays Burton as a muscular dude who has never been in a fight. Thus, the muscles would get in the way and become a joke. I’d prefer for the original to be re-released and become the highest-grossing film of all time. However, that won’t happen, and if it has to happen I think The Rock loves it enough to give it an earnest shot.
John Carpenter thinks that Jack Burton is an absolute idiot (in a good way). However, I’ve never looked at him as a total dope. The guy obviously has deep-seated insecurities but they never come to the surface because we don’t spend that much time with him. Thus, we are left with a beautifully original character who cannot be replicated or mimicked. Jack Burton is the most human of heroes and Kurt Russell played him perfectly.
If you liked the post make sure to check our podcast where we constantly talk about Kurt Russell.
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MY CALL: If you like the Evil Dead movies, heavy metal music, or ultra gory horror comedies you will like this. If you simply have good taste in silly (raunchy and gory) horror, just see this. MOVIES LIKE Deathgasm: For more kitschy New Zealand horror comedies try Dead-Alive (1992), Bad Taste (1987), Housebound (2014) and What We Do in the Shadows (2015). For more solidly gross horror comedy in general try Zombie Strippers (2008), Zombieland (2009), Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009), Piranha 3D (2010), Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010), Final Destination 5 (2011), Piranha 3DD (2012), The Cabin in the Woods (2012), Smothered (2014), Zombeavers (2014), The Voices (2014), He Never Died (2015), Cooties (2015), Ava’s Possessions (2015), The Final Girls (2015), Krampus (2015; not exactly comedy, but occasionally hilarious), Love in the Time of Monsters (2015) and Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015).
Just a random aside, a shocking number of actors in this were from recent Power Rangers and Spartacus series. Not a bad thing, not a good thing; just an observation.
Written and directed by Jason Lei Howden (visual artist of The Hobbit movies), this playfully feisty New Zealand horror comedy opens with an almost adorably gross credit sequence complete with the stylings of Adult Swim and a personable narration which reminded me of an old favorite, The Gate (1987).
Not five minutes into this zany little gem (and a GLOWING gem it is) I had lost count of how many times I had laughed out loud at its brilliant execution, sense of humor, and random clip scenes featuring goofy sketches and wicked music video dreamscape sequences that reminded me of “W is for Wish” from ABCs of Death 2 (2014) and everything that was awesome about 80s music videos. When he used his laser vision to incinerate that chick’s (Kimberley Crossman; Power Rangers Samurai) top, Jeeeesus Chr–… oh… oh, dear, I seem to have gotten carried away. On with the review!
That is SO METAL!
After being forced to move in with his uncle and insidiously bullying cousin, troubled teen metalhead Brodie (Milo Cawthorne; Power Rangers RPM) quickly unites with a group of social misfits, forms a metal band, and they bite off more than they can chew when they play some devil-worshipping music to summon the king of demons.
Now THAT is METAL!
It’s not so obvious at first, but afterwards all of the adults in town are just…not right. They’re basically eye-gauged deadites. Think Ash vs the Evil Dead (2015) meets a zombie apocalypse and that’s kind of looney territory we’ve hit.
I saw a guy do this at a Slayer concert once. No biggie.
The acting is on-point, the editing and direction seem perfect during funny dialogue, and this just enhanced the quick-witted and frequent comedic execution. This movie is brilliantly hilarious! The Dungeons and Dragons scene was simple yet precious, but it had nothing on the bit when they’re coming up with the name for their metal band—Cannibal Unicorn, Maggot Sperm, and so many more beautiful combinations of words. I was also quite fond of the handful of Dungeons and Dragons references sparingly peppered in the script.
I actually really liked the characters in this movie a lot.
Not only is this movie delightfully funny, but it’s brutally gory as well. This film seizes every opportunity to be gross with the reckless abandon of irritable bowel syndrome. We have projectile blood vomiting into people’s face, blood enemas, ripping through bodies, splitting heads in half, the honest use of dildos as legitimately effective weapons against the supernatural, ripped out spinal columns, blood geysers, a chainsaw up the butt, coils of sloppy intestines falling out, forced dismemberment, naked bare-dicked zombies getting their dicks weed-whacked, a nude cultist (Delaney Tabron; Power Rangers Megaforce, Spartacus: War of the Damned) stabbing, a tarot card reader (Kate Elliott; Power Rangers Samurai, 30 Days of Night) heart rip, and when his bully cousin finally gets his messy comeuppance the accompanying dialogue with have you in love with this film!
It’s a lot like Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015) crossed with Ash vs the Evil Dead (2015). Just pure horror comedy bliss. And be sure to watch ‘til the end of the credits for a bonus scene featuring more grossly awesome band name ideas!
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