Random Movie Data – Fast Five, Dwayne Johnson, and Sweaty People – An In-Depth Study

Quick Note – There’s no way to know how sweaty Fast Five is (it’s wildly sweaty). However, I tried my best to provide a reasonable number to a very random subject.

I love the Fast & Furious franchise, and have pretty much analyzed every aspect of the nine movies that have been released since 2001. With the 10th anniversary of Fast Five coming up, I remembered Shea Serrano (read his book Movies (And Other Things)), and copious publications talking about how sweaty Dwayne Johnson, and the rest of the characters in Fast Five are. Also, during an episode of Deep Blue Sea – The Podcast, we discussed strategic sweat with guest Nick de Semlyen, and the conversation lead us to the sweaty-lore of Dwayne Johnson. These observations and past conversations are correct, after rewatching the movie again, it’s clear that several characters seem to swim in Evian spray and glycerin concoctions that keep them looking like the characters from Deep Blue Sea after they’ve been waterlogged for several hours.

In honor of Fast Five’s upcoming 10th anniversary (April 29), here’s an in-depth study that compares the sweat output of Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) to the other central protagonists.

Data Collection

• I rewatched Fast Five, and took notes of the scenes that featured characters sweating. For example, when Dwayne Johnson sweats while looking at a computer, the note “Hobbs sweats while he is thinking” was included. The note were meticulous.
• I only included the sweat I saw on screen. This data is weird enough, I didn’t want to include hypothetical sweat. This meant I looked at arm, forehead, goatee, neck, chest, and shirt sweat. Also, there’s no way I could get a 100% correct answer, so like my other data posts, I went out of my way to make sure the data makes sense via research and actual testing.
• What does on screen sweat mean? I only noted the sweat I saw because I wanted to have somewhat reliable data. Sure, the characters sweat when they are offscreen, and it’s an absolute possibility that Hobbs sweats when he brushes his teeth. But, the viewer never sees the perspiration, so to include hypothetical sweat would involve way too much unreliable guesswork.
• Initially, actual sweat science was going to be applied to each character. However, the varying degrees to which the characters sweat (or don’t sweat at all), kept actual real world data from being used. Basically, Hobbs sweats while he does nothing, whereas, Roman (Tyrese) never sweats during his time in Brazil. While researching the film, I’ve learned the Fast world is filled with incredibly non-sweaty people, and a few super-sweaters whose perspiration is inspirational.
• To figure out how much they were sweating I used a few different methods. To not be a total jabroni, I went outside and cleaned gutters, moved around some concrete pieces from a slab that was recently broken up (I wish I had the idea a couple weeks ago), and jumped rope to get sweat data. I weighed my shirt beforehand, then weighed it again during various periods of sweat.
• I used a food scale to weigh the shirts, and I used drops of water to recreate the sweat.
• The weather was quite wonderful, so I wasn’t able to completely drench my shirt with sweat. That’s why I had to use other methods
• I used four shirts (V-neck and Under Armour), and I meticulously added water to pits, neckline, back and eventually the entire shirt. I weighed them during each step to make sure I had enough data. I didn’t soak the shirts under my sink, then flop them onto a scale. Care was taken to recreate the sweat (Yes, it’s weird).
• I didn’t bother researching sweat density compared to water. Why? Since the Fast world is so bonkers, I figured water would be a fine substitute.

Another Quick Note: This data is not 100% correct. The world will never know how much each character in Fast Five sweats. However, because I’m a maniac, the results are fair, and they are a solid representation of what we see onscreen.

How much does Luke Hobbs sweat in Fast Five?

• Amount of Sweat – 4 ¼ cups of water (34 fluid ounces of sweat – 1.0055 liter)
• Sweatiest Moment? – After Hobbs is done chasing Dom through the streets of Rio, his shirt, bullet-proof vest, head and arms are soaked. It’s impressive.
• Does he sweat too much? – Who am I to say? However, there’s a moment when his goatee sweats more than three grown men.
• Hardest Part of Data Collection – The finale of the film sees Hobbs fighting Dom (lots of sweat), engaging in a gunfight (more sweat), and then helping Dom (more sweat). The problem is, his shirt would be sweaty all day, so it was hard to gauge how much sweat poured out of him.

How much do the protagonists (Dom, Brian, Roman, Tej, Mia, Han, Gisele, Vince, Leo, Santos ) sweat in Fast Five?

• Amount of Sweat – 3 cups of water (24 fluid ounces of water – .709 Liter)
• Sweatiest Moment – While Vince has some wonderfully sweaty moments, the fight between Hobbs and Dom features Dom getting very sweaty.
• Do they sweat too much? – Nope – The crew rarely sweat. Does that make them cool? Are they so cool that they don’t sweat?
• Hardest Part of Data Collection – The characters rarely sweat. Dom, Vince, Mia and Brian are the main culprits. I had to give my full attention to catching sweat droplets. I never thought I’d ever do something like this….

Discussing the robbery in a hot warehouse – No sweat

Tej has been working in his hot Miami garage. No sweat

Finally! Sweat.

Initially, the results were surprising because it was a bit of stretch to consider that one character could sweat more than 10 other characters. However, after watching the movie again, there’s no comparison. It’s fair to say that the most unbelievable aspect of Fast Five is not the bank vault chase, it’s the fact that Hobbs sweats so much more than any other character. Even his team never sweats, and they have to take a car apart, and then put it back together – in a hot workshop.

They aren’t sweaty….He is.

Maybe it’s Johnson’s background in wrestling that taught him to always be spritzing, or that he went method as he saw Hobbs as someone who sweats more than any human alive.

Conclusion – Hobbs is a very sweaty person. All of the observations were correct.

If you like this random post, make sure to check out my other random data.

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