John’s Horror Corner: Lights Out (2016), Mama meets the Babadook as we watch Wan’s new vengeful ghost.
MY CALL: This was the satisfying result of mixing the ghost from Mama (2013), the mother from The Babadook (2014) and a Springwood, Ohio address for that A Nightmare on Elm Street–iness (1984). Not original and quite predictable, yet still highly entertaining and creepy. MOVIES LIKE Lights Out: Mama (2013), The Babadook (2014) and The Boogeyman (2005). Even Carrie (2013) if you’re in the mood specifically for batshit crazy moms.
Despite their simplicity, these scenes were creeeeeeeeeeeeepy!
There’s really not much substance to this story. Martin (Gabriel Bateman; Annabelle) is a little boy living with his clearly mentally ill mother (Maria Bello; Secret Window, Demonic) and…let’s just say that her actions (or inaction, neglect, what have you) leave Martin fearing for his life, deathly afraid of the dark and falling asleep.
Having fled their mother years earlier over similar issues, Martin’s much older adult sister Rebecca (Teresa Palmer; Warm Bodies, Wolf Creek, The Grudge 2) steps in to protect Martin from their mother’s manic neglect and maybe something more.
It turns out that nightmares from Rebecca’s past are being relived by young Martin, who in turn has resurrected their evil’s attention to Rebecca. And that evil is something vile!
I was very pleased with the acting, good production value, and I thought the effects were everything they needed to be. Nothing seemed wanting, nor was there any need or desire for gore. Despite being limited to shadowy figures most of the time, our wicked phantom looked pretty awesomely creepy and, on that note, the creepy atmosphere was pretty effective.
If this movie feels a bit familiar to you, you’re not alone. I felt like our evil ghost twitched and burped about in the shadows a lot like Mama (2013) doing her best impression of The Grudge (2004) ghost, the mother had a slew of psychological issues like our favorite abusive mom in The Babadook (2014), and those close links between our victims’ fear of the dark reminded me a bit of The Boogeyman (2005) or, since James Wan (The Conjuring 1-2, Insidious 1-2) is this film’s producer, perhaps even Dead Silence (2007) when we see our haggish specter’s face. You might even feel some echoes of A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) in there—there were more than a few parallels.
Playfully renewing our fear of the dark with a series of predictable yet highly enjoyable jump scares, director David F. Sandberg’s (Annabelle 2) first feature length horror film pretty much plays it safe and by the numbers. But you know what? Sometimes that’s okay. Nothing great about this film, but I really enjoyed it. It was fun and I’d recommend it for a good popcorn horror night or fun scary movie date night.
This director handled his first mainstream horror gig very well, he embraced Wan’s horror influence, and I’m excited to see whatever he does next.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast #69: Stranger Things
You can download the pod on Itunes or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
Summary: This week we discuss the new Netflix Streaming series Stranger Things (2016) and all the 80s movie references that made us fall in love with it. If you want to hear more spooky podcast shenanigans, check out Episode 68: Ghostbusters.
We answer the tough questions in this podcast! For example…
“Is MUTO a mispronunciation of Mothra?”
“Who are the best characters with numbers for names?”
“What movie monsters are actually scary?”
LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO,
or head over iTunes, and if you get a chance please SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW, RATE and SHARE the pod!
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You Can Do It!: A Look at Adam Sandler’s Epic 20-Year Run
While researching Adam Sandler’s Netflix deal for our recently released podcast I had an interesting revelation. Adam Sandler has owned the last 20 years. His films may be hated by critics (fair enough) but they never stop making money. He has found a way to adapt and stay relevant in a day and age of superheroes and more superheroes. The recent reports about the demise of his career after Pixels flopped have proven to be false, and as we head into 2017 Adam Sandler has broken all of Netflix’s records and his last five theatrically released films have collected $1,350,000,000 at the worldwide box office.
I’m not speaking for the quality of his films. If I was talking about who has made the best films of the last 20 years his name wouldn’t be in the top 100. What I’m trying to get at it is nobody has done what he’s done in the last 20 years. The guy has done zero press since 1996 and has proven that flops don’t mean the end of a career. For example, He was on the ropes in 2013 after Jack & Jill and That’s My Boy, so he went back to sequel land with the massively popular Grown Ups 2. The popular movie made $247 million at the international box office (good press) and was so disliked (7% RT) the hosts of a podcast called The Worst Idea Ever watched it 52 times and podcasted about it each week (more press). Sandler films are like the NCIS of cinema. They are massive hits, spin-off into different worlds and are always watched because they is something comfortable about them.
John Turturro kills it in Sandler movies.
The following piece isn’t meant to be controversial or unrealistic. I genuinely think that Adam Sandler has been the cinematic king of the last 20 years because he has remained a box office draw while avoiding comic book franchises and actual good movies (there are a few exceptions). Other actors have made more money, worked with great directors, won more Oscars and collected more critical accolades. However, nobody has managed to collect $3,776,934,763 at the domestic box office by making movies that feature Dave Matthews picking up a coconut with his butt. No other actor on the planet could make a movie about an undercover commando/hairdresser and make over $200 million worldwide.
John Turturro is the best.
Here are the films that make up the “Sandler” catalog. All of them feature Sandler and his cohorts engaging in mostly PG-13 shenanigans.
Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, The Wedding Singer, The Waterboy, Big Daddy, Little Nicky, Mr. Deeds, Eight Crazy Nights, Anger Management, 50 First Dates, The Longest Yard, Click, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, You Don’t Mess With the Zohan, Bedtime Stories, Grown Ups, Just Go With It, Jack & Jill, That’s My Boy, Hotel Transylvania, Grown Ups 2, Blended, Pixels and Hotel Transylvania 2.
These 24 films have averaged $157,372,381 at the domestic box office (accounting for inflation) while being directed by non-household names like Steven Brill, Frank Boraci and Dennis Dugan. It is insane to think this collection of films with an average Rotten Tomatoes critical average of 31.9% have done so well. Also, there have been ebbs and flows but box office numbers have remained steady over the last 20 years.
Sandler has one of the most loyal fan bases on the planet and they’ve stuck by him through thick and thin (even when he confuses them with Punch Drunk Love). He can literally make movies about four dudes hanging out (Grown Ups 1 & 2) and they make over $500 million worldwide. His international audience is growing and according to Netflix statistics the film Blended is loved in South America (random). I still watch every Sandler film because there is something magnetic about them. Jack and Jill may be a terrible film, but it features Al Pacino singing about Dunkaccinos.
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He has made other films in the last 20 years. The majority of the good ones haven’t been “Sandler” films. He worked with Paul Thomas Anderson on Punch Drunk Love and Judd Apatow on Funny People. These directors worked his acting style into their films and it worked brilliantly. On top of his successful acting forays he has produced some hits (Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Deuce Bigelow: Male Gigolo), cult comedies (Grandma’s Boy, Joe Dirt, House Bunny) and outright atrocities (Deuce Bigelow 2, Bench Warmers). The guy has been everywhere and has built a Sandler Cinematic Universe that is highly forgiving of his occasional attempts at real acting.
What I love about his exclusive four picture Netflix deal is that he’s become an early adopter and doesn’t have to worry about critics. Wired published an article entitled “Netflix is using Adam Sandler To Beat Hollywood And Rule The World” that chronicles Netlfix’s wise decision. The title statement isn’t hyperbole because Sandler is a bona-fide worldwide star and “any Sandler movie from the last 20 years immediately make the top 10 in any country when Netflix makes it available.” His first Netflix film The Ridiculous 6 has a 0% Rotten Tomatoes score but it is the most watched film in Netflix history. An added bonus is the Netflix deal makes it easier for people to hate-watch his films and share their dislike online. I understand the dislike, but all the press just makes more people want to watch the “trainwrecks.” His movies are press machines because a lot of online writers want to write about why his movies are terrible. The problem is the majority of his fans don’t care and will watch regardless of the films coherence.
Adam Sandler’s 20 year reign isn’t going to stop anytime soon. He has two films left on his Netflix deal, and he just wrapped up work on the Noah Baumbach (The Squid and the Whale, Frances Ha) directed Yeh Din Ka Kissa. Hotel Transylvania 3 will make another $400 million worldwide and whatever else he makes after the Netflix deal will certainly make its money back. Who would’ve thought the guy from Billy Madison would have such a great run.
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Bad Movie Tuesday: Thor the Conqueror (1983), another deliciously awful Italian fantasy B-movie.
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Images of blurred out boobs
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MY CALL: If you’re a fan of atrociously bad 80s fantasy B-movies loaded with the worst fight scenes, depictions magic, occasional sexploitation, and creature effects ever—see it. If you have to ask, this probably isn’t for you. MOVIES LIKE Thor the Conqueror: Do you like this 80s fantasy badness? How about Flash Gordon (1980), Sorceress (1982), Kull the Conqueror (1997), Krull (1983), Conquest (1983), Deathstalker (1983), The Devil’s Sword (1984), The Warrior and the Sorceress (1984) and Deathstalker II: Duel of the Titans (1987). All of these movies are better than Barbarian Queen (1985) in every possible way except for amply breast-filled minutes of screen time. Like all the fantasy but don’t care for all the “bad”? Then perhaps aim for Legend (1985), Beastmaster (1982), Conan the Barbarian (1982), Conan the Destroyer (1984) or Willow (1988) on for size.
Bad movie posters. There is no bear or elephant in this movie, he doesn’t have short blond hair, she isn’t blond nor does she ever wear a fur bikini. ALL LIES! LOL
I’m not gonna’ lie. I bought this on an intoxicated Amazon shopping spree several years ago and have been dreading the day that I finally decide to watch it. Well, today is that day! Director Tonino Ricci (Cave of the Sharks, Night of the Sharks) and writer Tino Carpi (Tentacle, Warriors of the Wasteland), who have probably never made anything good between both their careeres, have provided our ultra-classy viewing enjoyment for the evening.
Don’t pretend you don’t see the resemblance.
We start by meeting a barbarian who looks like a caveman Weird Al Yankovic, his wizard companion and his pregnant wife. After she scurries off into the bushes to give birth they are ambushed and face some of the silliest sword fighting ever. For real, LARPers are more lethal with foam weapons than these idiotic berserkers. After the barbarian father is killed by some kind of evil bad guy leader with an arrow through the neck, the wizard casts some spell to magically teleport himself and newborn baby Thor to safety. Evidently he couldn’t be troubled to try to save the mother or anyone else with his sorcery. He later demonstrates some magical abilities that could have come in handy in saving Thor’s parents!
Thor (Bruno Minniti; A Man Called Rage, The Porno Killers) is raised by the wizard, who apparently taught him swordsmanship—because wizards are known for that skill set—and not magic. Go figure.
After a couple destitute action sequences his wizard surrogate dad pulls an Obi-Wan and turns permanently into an owl (for really no reason at all) to oversee Thor attaining his destiny, which apparently involves reclaiming his murdered father’s sword. I’d again like to point out the power of this wizard and how he could have saved Thor’s family or simply accomplished Thor’s stupid quest on his own with ease. He was casting spells from the afterlife, so he could have teleported Thor to the sword, and that would be it. Boom: movie.
On his generally vague journey Thor is charged with fighting some women, escaping a tribe of primitive natives, meeting his hardly-clothed captive-turned-girlfriend Ina (Maria Romano; Violence in a Woman’s Prison, Women’s Prison Massacre), defeating his father’s murderer Gnut (Raf Baldassarre; The Killer Wore Gloves), and presumably engaging is forcefully non-consensual intercourse with two women—at the wizard’s encouragement to completely disregard the women’s rights or choice in the matter! But hey, there’s consensual sex, too.
For real, her boob is ready to pull a Tara Reid and flop out at any moment throughout the movie.
So what makes this a bad movie? Here are a few clues:
- Thor’s first scenes have him speaking like Tarzan. Then later he talks normally. Then back to “Me, Thor. You bad guy.” No clue why.
- His wizard adopted-father basically tells him to “have his way” with a scantily clad woman. “Go on and rape her, son.” .. classy.
- There’s violence against women. Thor straight up breaks a warrior woman’s neck while choking her out, then knocks a woman down and fondles her. I’m so embarrassed to have seen this movie! SMH
- Your drunk, overweight, Dungeons and Dragons-playing friends who have never been in a fight could stage better fight scenes than I witnessed in this POS movie.
- A sword turns into a snake…then nothing happens! Apparently, a shot of a snake doing nothing was considered a big deal to the filmmakers. I just scratched my head, chugged a beer, and tried to get on with my life.
- Later Thor milks snake venom from a clearly non-venomous snake.
- This is basically a mild exploitation movie. And, like in Sorceress (1982), our protagonist has never seen the opposite sex. Yet when exposed, he knows EXACTLY what to do with bare boobs!
- Scan through this review and read the parenthetically annotated movies the cast, writer and director have done. Pure drudgery!
- Needlessly scantily clad women. I’m not complaining, though.
- The wizard “likes to watch” and boy is it creepy.
- Thor is given the “first ever” horse in a world that has never witnessed mounted combat. So he rides it “to” the fight, then dismounts. Idiot!
![Thor the Conqueror[(027426)11-33-08]](https://moviesfilmsandflix.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/thor-the-conqueror02742611-33-08.jpg?w=600&h=474)
This movie is terrible in so many ways. But like many bad movies, if you go in knowing what you’re in for, it might be exactly what you wanted. So sit back, have a few beers, and join a friend in watching one of the worst fantasy flicks of the 80s.
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John’s Horror Corner: Cannibal Holocaust (1980), appallingly brutal yet stylistic and controversial yet admonishing.
Okay, guys. So the movie is called CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST!
Soooooo… NOT SAFE FOR WORK, right?
Any movie with either CANNIBAL or HOLOCAUST in the title probably means NOT SAFE FOR WORK.
MY CALL: Yes, this film is every bit as brutal and controversial as you’d expect…but it’s also a brilliantly made, stylistic film that’s way ahead of its time and addresses important aspects of morality. MOVIES LIKE Cannibal Holocaust: Cannibal Ferox (1981) and other brutal Italian cannibal movies. But not Eli Roth’s Green Inferno (2013), which was a less shocking, cheap knockoff.
After a delightfully polite warning from Shudder this Italian cult classic opens with a lovely scored montage of shaky shots of the Amazon, known by its indigenous inhabitants as the Green Inferno (hence Eli Roth’s title Green Inferno).
Alan Yates, Faye Daniels, Jack Anders and Mark had embarked on an expedition to the border of Brazil and Peru to document the jungle tribes. They followed in the footsteps of explorers who never came back, but they laughed at the amateurs. After this new group failed to return within two months, a rescue mission was set up to recover them.
Check out their BEFORE and AFTER photos.
Our anthropologist “rescuer” Dr. Monroe teams up with a local roughneck guide and follows the same path as his predecessors marked by the decaying corpse of another jungle guide and Faye’s lighter worn as a charm by a tribesman.
Very early scenes of military machine-gunning through forest natives is campy and bloodless such that you’d think you were watching some PG-13 nonsense. But don’t be fooled so soon. Not that I expect a lot of animal lovers to watch this, but you should be warned that real live animals are killed on film—and not even close to mercifully. I felt so badly for that muskrat (about the 19 min mark). Later in the film there is an even more disturbing scene involving decapitating a large turtle and then preparing its still-twitching body. Just brutal, from prying the shell apart to sloppily yanking out its guts.
This all really HAPPENS!
Those are the real guts and the real turtle head. Horrible!
This brutality makes its way to humans as a woman is dragged across the mud completely naked and bound, and forced into some shockingly uncomfortable positions during a sort of torturous rape scene complete with vile genital mutilation. The violence against women in this film is immense. But then, so is the general inhumanity overall.
In the past I’ve praised some actresses for what they physically endure on film: Jo Beth Williams (Poltergeist), Jenny Spain (Deadgirl), Isabelle Adjani (Possession), Elma Begovic (Bite), Linda Blair (The Exorcist), the entire cast of The Descent, Monica Belluci (Irreversible), the women of Martyrs, Charlotte Gainsbourg (Antichrist, Nymphomaniac), Alison Lohman (Drag Me to Hell), Danielle Harris (Halloween), Caroline Williams (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2), Jane Levy (Evil Dead), the cast of The Human Centipede films, and all actresses from the I Spit on Your Grave films, the women of all other TCM old and new, and Last House on the Left films/remakes/sequels. Clearly Cannibal Holocaust must now be added to this list.
This film features abundant male and female full frontal nudity, rape and torture, horrible brutality against women and animals, and cannibalism. It seems that if you are capable of being offended by anything, then this film will have something in it to offend you! And this all happens in the first 30 minutes!!!
But wait, what ever happened to the original crew of documentarians? Well, Monroe (and we) get to see their recovered video footage. Speaking of which, was this (most of the second half anyway) one of the original found footage movies?
What’s really interesting about this stylistic film is that it’s so far ahead of its time. We see footage from the original documentary crew, then half the movie follows Monroe’s rescue mission and interactions with the tribal people (a mix of normal and docu-reels), and then return to civilization and see the recovered found footage (both as “footage” and as regular scenes) with Monroe’s reactions to them for the second half of the film.
When we consider the title, we imagine that we’d have sympathy for the lost crew and whatever horrible fate had befallen them. But it turns out they may have very well earned their undoing.
The gore is perhaps a bit more authentic than were used to, apparently consisting largely of whole animal organs in lieu of the standard rubber guts popularized by Romero’s original Zombie Trilogy, the actual brutal executions of some animals (the turtle scene was the worst), and various rape, birth and amputation scenes.
As if making a statement of our own acceptance and desensitization to violence and cruelty, disarmingly pleasant music often scores scenes of cruelty and mayhem. Monroe calls the original crew out for their inhumanly soulless actions and the target of our sympathy shifts dramatically.
This film has a reputation for being brutal and unsightly. I guess it is, and it especially was for 1980. But how had I never heard of how stylish and unique and ultimately self-realizingly moral it was? This movie is really…well…great. Great in a very non-mainstream, socially unacceptable kind of way, to some. But great, nonetheless! I think this film is excellent!
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The MFF Podcast #68: Ghostbusting the Mayor From Jaws
You can download the pod on Itunes or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
The MFF podcast is back and we are talking Ghostbusters, Milquetoast the Procrastinator and the mayor from Jaws. We decided to wait a couple weeks to podcast about Ghostbusters because we wanted to see what happened after all the fanboy dust had settled. Now that the box office results are in, and the internet trolls have cooled down we break down the films release, critical reception and usage of Irish defense fences.
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As always, we answer random listener questions and ponder whether we could defeat a giant Xenomorph. Sit back, relax and listen to us talk about the mayor from Jaws.
Check out the MFF pod on Blog Talk Radio or head over to Itunes and listen to the randomness!
If you get a chance please SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW, RATE and SHARE the pod!
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John’s Horror Corner: Cabin Fever (2016), an enjoyable play-by-play remake of Eli Roth’s original.
MY CALL: A perfectly watchable remake that replays the 2002 screenplay and brings nothing new to the table. Basically you’re rewatching an old favorite with a different cast and director. MOVIES LIKE Cabin Fever: Cabin Fever (2002), Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009), Cabin Fever: Patient Zero (2014) and The Ruins (2008). But true lovers of hilariously gory overkill should also hit Evil Dead (2013), The Cabin in the Woods (2012), Final Destination 5 (2011), Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010), Drag Me to Hell (2009), and of course Evil Dead 2 (1987) and The Evil Dead (1981).
Director Travis Zariwny (Scavengers, Intruder) had never made a feature length horror film before trying to fill some very big shoes by doing a remake of Eli Roth’s 2002 flesh-eating bacteria/virus movie that already has two sequels! But he seems to be off to one Hell of a great start when he opens with gorgeous shots of the forest and the corpse of a man’s dog—with the cutest name ever (and a throwback to the original): Pancakes—spraying blood into his owners face for no good reason other than making me “squee” with glee.
Now that may sound pretty slapstick-nuts, but this is written by Randy Pearlstein (Cabin Fever, Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever) who acted in Ugly Americans and Chapelle’s Show. So the sick sense of humor to this movie should come as an expected perk. And can I just say I loved this seemingly random opening scene with Pancakes’ gore-ravaged cadaver red-misting his owner in the face!
Karen (Gage Golightly; Exeter, Teen Wolf), Jeff (Matthew Daddario; Shadow Hunters: The Mortal Instruments), Bert (Dustin Ingram; True Blood, Paranormal Activity 3), Marcy (Nadine Crocker; Deadgirl) and Paul (Samuel Davis; From Dusk til Dawn: the series, Machete Kills) are college students heading out to a cabin in the woods. They stop at basically the same gas station as in the original Cabin Fever (2002), someone gets randomly bitten by the same weird kid, they meet the same edgy locals who serve as their troped up harbingers, and it’s introduced almost immediately that no one has any cell service in their cabin.
From spastic kids to waterfront flirting, this feels a lot like the original.
The college kids are pretty clichéd. They get right into the angst, the flirting and the sex. But they barely have time to get comfortable before Pancakes’ now horrendously infected owner comes begging for help…naturally startled by his flesh-eaten state of decay and his projectile blood vomit, they light him on fire! Yup. That’s what I do when someone in ill health comes begging for help: light him up.
“Hey, who’s out there?”
“Ewww. It’s a totally gross dying guy! Don’t let him in!”
“He tried to get in! Quick, spray him with lighter fluid!”
“Totally an accident, bro.”
Following suit with the original, some intimacy reveals some infectious gore in naughty spots, they quarantine the first infected girl in the boat shed like an animal, a sex scene re-enacts the back clawmarks scene that was so memorable in 2002, and then they all start turning on each other paranoid of who else might be infected. Suffice to say, there is really nothing inventive about this remake. It’s an Eli Roth color-by-numbers…scene by scene. Although I was quite partial to the leg-shaving scene; loved it then, love it now. Not to mention some quality (but not overly abundant) nudity complete with a gore-slathered infected naked girl.
About an hour in I felt like this wasn’t as gory as its predecessors. But it accelerates accordingly in the third act to please gorehounds. And speaking of hounds, I love the make-up they did on the infected dog. What a gory mess. But that dog had nothing on the brutal mercy kill scene.
Was this original? Not even in the slightest—not even for a remake. Unlike Carrie (2013) or Evil Dead (2013), this remake brought nothing new to the table…kind of like Poltergeist (2015) except without the horrible suck factor. This remake is something of a pretty fun ride. It drags at times in the middle (as we re-live the same old 2002 exposition) and feels inferior to the original and its sequels. But I don’t regret watching it a bit—it was still fun, funny and gorily satisfying.
Total SIDEBAR: So at the start of the movie Bert buys “the beer” for their weekend and only walks out with two six-packs for five people. Then they have a night of drinking–coming out to 2.4 beers/person. Later when everything has gone to Hell, one dude grabs two six-packs and leaves the cabin to isolate himself… they were the same two six packs! So what were they drinking before that???
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The Underworld series is five films deep and continues to plug along successfully. It all started in 2003 when a leather-clad vampire named Selene (Kate Beckinsale) battled her way through werewolves, lounging vampires, and Bill Nighy. From there, she and others battled their way through more werewolves, lounging vampires and Bill Nighy. The following post examines the random thoughts I have about the Underworld Franchise
1. Vampires love to lounge
Some vampires hunt werewolves. Some vampires create weapons. Some vampires lounge 24/7. The vampires in Underworld seem to only lounge and glower. They sit in comfy chairs and live in a constant state of leisure. Do they work? Do they do chores? Where do they shop? Do they have a favorite chair?
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2. Selene is much better with a computer than the guys in What We Do in the Shadows
Selene does some great compter work in Underworld. She researches, has full awareness of the internet and could probably type 100 words per minute. Her computer work is much better than the guys in What We Do in the Shadows.
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3. Wentworth Miller had hair?
I don’t like it. It doesn’t seem right.
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4. Never use whips in a werewolf fight
The whips look cool and make for a great trailer moment. However, they are totally impractical and end up costing a vampire his life. Why not carry a bazooka?
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5. Bill Nighy is a great fist fighter
I bet Bill Nighy took this role so he could fist fight. You can tell he relishes throwing each punch and backhand. The only problem is he gets so consumed with fist fighting he gets his head chopped off. Common fighting mistake.
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6. Michael Sheen wears a great wig
Everybody in Underworld has great hair. I would give the award for “best hair” to Michael Sheen. The dude looks great with the long wig and I bet everybody on set was jealous (I have zero proof of this).
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7. Selene has a solid coat game
Selene’s coat in Underworld: Blood Wars is legit. It goes perfectly with her hair and has obviously been tailored to look awesome. I’m thinking it’s the only good part of Underworld: Blood Wars.
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8. Kraven loves loud shirts
You’d think an immortal would have better fashion sense. What kind of shirts did Kraven wear in the 1700s? Get with the times Kraven.
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9. Werewolves take forever to transform
If I fought werewolves I would blow them up (or get eaten immediately) while they take about 15 seconds to transform.
Nighy throat grabs when werewolves transform. He get its.
10. This lady does a great “vampire face.”
I still don’t understand why Erika (Sophia Myles) is so scared of Michael (Scott Speedman). She literally jumps into a wall and sticks to it. Then, she turns around and unleashes the great vampire face in the history of the world.
What random Underworld thoughts do you have?
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DC fans want their superheroes to fight the critics.
With news that Suicide Squad is getting pummeled by critics (35% RT) I decided to take a closer look at DC critical scores on Rotten Tomatoes. While researching I read an article on Collider that discussed a DC fan petition to end Rotten Tomatoes because of their Marvel bias. So, I collected all of the Marvel and DC critical scores and averaged them out. The results proved to be anticlimactic.
The Marvel Cinematic Universe (2008-2016) movies have an 82% critical rating while the Nolan/Snyder DC Extended Universe (2005-2016) movies have a 69.4% average (both are considered fresh). However, if you took out the Nolan Batman films the DCEU average drops to 38.3%. I think keeping in the Nolan critic scores are important because it shows that critics don’t exclusively have it out for DC. When looking at the average RT critical scores of all the Marvel/DC films the averages are 60.2% for Marvel and 52.9% for DC. The gap isn’t too extreme and proves that both DC and Marvel have made some amazing and amazingly bad superhero films.
The news of the petition by overbearing fanboys isn’t totally surprising because people lost their minds when Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice got destroyed by critics. Thus, news that critics don’t like the heavily promoted Suicide Squad has been enough to re-enrage DC films. The problem is that a problem doesn’t really exist. The critical gap isn’t that extreme but the EXTREMELY dedicated DC fans are taking the bad reviews as an affront to their decency. If you look at the views of all the San Diego Comic Con trailers DC has over 51 million views while the other eight trailers have 43 million views. Thus, DC has an incredibly passionate fan base who are mad about basically nothing.
I can’t wait to watch Gal Gadot do her thing in Wonder Woman.
Instead of placing their anger at critics (who they say don’t matter) they should be annoyed at DC. The DC world is expanding too fast and trying to build a world that Marvel created over 13 films. In DC’s haste they are overloading their films and they are close to capsizing due to excessive bulk. It’s fine that critics and audiences disagree. However, before getting annoyed at critics make sure to search out the facts.
Regardless of the RT rating of Suicide Squad I guarantee it will pull in tons of money (including mine) and sell millions in merchandise. Check out our podcast review of Suicide Squad next week!
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John’s Horror Corner: Zoombies (2016), a low budget zombedy using the Jurassic World playbook.
MY CALL: This very low budget zombedy is to Jurassic World (2015) as Jurassic World (2015) is to Jurassic Park (1993); just rehashing things that we once loved in inferior form. But it still has some personality and you can tell the cast and crew had fun with it. MOVIES LIKE Zoombies: If you’re looking for zombie animals then I’ve got your number. Love in the Time of Monsters (2015) featured zombie squirrels, moose, trout, geese and raccoons, and then Warm Bodies (2013), Zombeavers (2014), Victor Frankenstein (2015) and REC 4: Apocalypse (2014) also featured zombie monkeys and baboons. Other zombedies include Shaun of the Dead (2004), Zombie Strippers (2008), Zombieland (2009), Cooties (2015), Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015) and Love in the Time of Monsters (2015). For more solidly gross and recent horror comedy in general try Shaun of the Dead (2004), Zombie Strippers (2008), Zombieland (2009), Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009), Piranha 3D (2010), Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010), Chillerama (2011), Final Destination 5 (2011), Grabbers (2012), Piranha 3DD (2012), The Cabin in the Woods (2012), Warm Bodies (2013), Smothered (2014), Zombeavers (2014), The Voices (2014), Housebound (2014), He Never Died (2015), Cooties (2015), Ava’s Possessions (2015), Krampus (2015; not exactly comedy, but occasionally hilarious), The Final Girls (2015), Love in the Time of Monsters (2015), Deathgasm (2015), What We Do in the Shadows (2015) and Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015).
On the advice of @cjzisi (his review here) I am, against my better judgment, watching this random movie I’ve never heard of.
Director Glenn Miller (Santa Claws, a kids’ movie) doesn’t have much horror experience, but he does bring a nice touch to this light-hearted, often humorous zombie movie. The CGI is indicative of a quality similar to a ScyFy Channel movie of the week (e.g., Sharknado 2), which can be disheartening for some. But the writing and filmmaking care bestowed upon the opening sequence offers a glimmer of promise. Like an ad for Jurassic World (2015) we are introduced to Eden, a sanctuary for the world’s animals and family-friendly fun education.
But when some infected white-faced monkeys (yes, the Outbreak monkey) are rushed to the veterinary infirmary we know that something is wrong. In an effort to save a recently deceased monkey ethical lines are crossed and some experimental serum is used to revive it…no clue what such a serum is doing here, by the way. Now revived, the zombie monkey proceeds to leap onto the vet’s face and throw her eyeballs at his medical savior. I’d say that sets a pretty strong tone and I don’t think I’m worried about the CGI effects any more, however marginal they may be.
Yes, the effects suck and I don’t mind at all. I should also note that these actors all seem to really enjoy their roles. Their script may not be Shakespeare, but they are owning their lines and it’s really refreshing.
Our zoo is modeled after Jurassic World (2015) and you’ll see some direct nods to it (e.g., the design of the headquarters building, the animal tracking screen, the jeeps, and literally making the comparison in the dialogue). But more like how Jurassic Park (1993) brought some visitors to beta-test and criticize the not yet open to the public facility, here we have college interns starting a pre-opening program. Our John Hammond is Dr. Ellen Rogers (Kim Nielsen; Amityville Terror).
We find zombie giraffes, capuchins, lions, koalas, gorillas and lemurs. What we don’t find is quality gore or attacks. That said, this movie really isn’t “mainstream good” but I also really didn’t hate it. It was an enjoyable watch. Although I admittedly won’t ever be watching it again, I wouldn’t warn people away from it either. It has heart, and for that I look forward to whatever horror Glenn Miller does next.
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