MY CALL: Edgar Allan Poe’s “Tell-Tale Heart” meets American Psycho (2000) and Mayhem (2017) in this very promising gory office horror short film.
MORE Indie Reviews by MFF: We occasionally do solicited horror short film and pre-release indie film reviews on request. Among recent solicited promotions are Love in the Time of Monsters (2014; feature length), Interior (2014; feature length), Smothered (2014; feature length), In the Dark (2015; feature length), Brother (2016; short), Other Halves (2016; feature length), Scythe (2016; short), The Belko Experiment (2016; feature film, mainstream theatrical release), The Barn (2016; feature length), Shallow Waters (2017; short), Burn (2017; short), Tethered (2017; short), We Love Selfies (2017; short), Cool (2017; short), Girls Night (2017; short), Because Reasons (2017; short) and Remnants (2017; short).
Disclaimer: This review was solicited by the filmmakers and/or producers who provided privileged access, directed us to a viewing medium, and/or offered permission to use image stills of the film. However, my opinion remains unbiased as I was neither hired nor paid to produce this critical review, nor do I have an investment stake in the film.
Inspired by The Tell-Tale Heart, Short Film Heartless made its World Premiere at the Oxford Film Festival. The directorial debut short film from the award-winning production company Sunshine Boy Productions.
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IMDB Summary: “Based on Edgar Allan Poe’s ‘The Tell-Tale Heart,’ an overlooked associate struggles to complete a corporate presentation as a horrific secret gnaws at her conscience.” Here’s the IMDB page.
In the wake of recent “office horror” sensations as The Belko Experiment (2016) and Mayhem (2017), Heartless rolls out sharply bantered sexism eliciting a half-taken-aback smirk and a shockingly abrupt turn to violence leaving my mouth grinningly open and my eyes wide. I mean, who has even seen someone get “punched” in the face with a coffee mug? Or seen a throat slit with one? Points for originality!
I really dig the storytelling style here, as we yo-yo between Shelby’s (Stacy Snyder; Abandoned Dead) business presentation, her mocking An American Werewolf in London-esque hauntings of her dead colleague, and flashbacks to the night she killed her colleague Clare (Joanna Sotomura; Madison County, Contracted: Phase II).
For a short film, the gore was surprisingly good, abundant, well-executed and varied. And the humor behind the delivery—especially after the eye-stabbing—does kindly liken this to the psychologically distorted Mayhem (2017) or satirical stylings American Psycho (2000). Not only that, but the sound editing/mixing with the gore (e.g., the sloshy goopy sounds accompanying the dismemberment) was top notch. I was also quite fond of the three over-bro’d power-douchebags a la modern American Psycho (2000)—Matt Mercer (Madison County, Contracted I-II, Beyond the Gates) among them, who also did the editing for this film.
More than a short…? I question the notion of expanding this to a 90-minute feature—but, I also haven’t been handed a script LOL. However, I’d love to see this fully realized as a 30-minute installment to a perhaps office/corporate-themed horror anthology. In fact, Heartless could almost be the wrap-around story (the presentation) and Clare’s death could be one of the vignettes.
Director Kevin Sluder does a solid job of showcasing his ideas and his story-telling prowess (a skill lost upon most horror creators), and his cast does honor to the somewhat caricatured office and gender roles while drawing satirical smiles. What’s more is that every member of the cast (and thus every character written) brought something valuable to the film… that’s rare whether assessing short films or features. But what impresses me most is that whereas Heartless’ cast is experienced at acting, our director (Sluder) is not experienced at directing. This is his first time helming a project and, you know what, he nailed it! Perhaps he owes some of that to his actors, but maybe they likewise owe some of their success to him. Clearly, they all formed a great team. And cheers to the editors as well! Excellent pacing with the cuts between past/present timelines and Shelby’s hallucinations.
Overall, one of my better indie review experiences in the last year along with Burn (2017), Tethered (2017), Cool (2017) and Remnants (2017).
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John’s Horror Corner: Veronica (2017), an underwhelming Spanish film based on the true story of a Ouija séance-gone-wrong.
MY CALL: Incredibly derivative and unoriginal—yes, even in the context of the horror genre in this day and age. This just felt like a watered down Insidious (2010-2017) film and I’m shocked that Placo Plaza ([REC] 1-3) could ever disappoint me… but he did. MOVIES LIKE Veronica: Well… For more Spanish-language horror films you should try The Damned (2013), The House at the End of Time (2013), The Orphanage (2007), Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) and the [REC] anthology (2007-2014). Other horror that has fun with Ouija boards include Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016) and Witchboard (1986).
Based on a true story that took place in Madrid, Spain in 1991, and written (in part) and directed by Paco Plaza (Cuento de Navidad, [REC] 1-3), this foreign horror has been accumulating a lot of positive buzz online. I’m sorry to say it, but I don’t think it’s well-deserved.
Taking care of her three younger siblings, high schooler Veronica (Sandra Escacena) is responsibly mature while truly still only a child herself. Veronica is haunted by an evil supernatural force after she and her classmates attempt a séance with a Ouija Board during an eclipse. Go figure, right?
The spectral symptoms are eerie, yet unmenacing at first—things like self-closing doors, electrical flickerings and objects moving on their own but only when no one is looking tend to feel almost impishly playful. Despite opening with something of a “young adult ghost story” feel, the tone appropriately shifts from Poltergeist (1982, 2015) to Insidious (2010-2017) with a dash of The Apparition (2012) as the film draws more disturbing imagery like nude ghosts of babbling loved ones, black limbs reaching from the void, and gaunt demonic forms (e.g., the demons of Insidious) wandering about the apartment. It’s a shame the quality in execution didn’t match the cultivation of atmosphere. Most of this fell flat for me.
I didn’t really find it very compelling—at all. This film wasn’t necessarily boring, but even when advancing at a good pace I found it utterly unengaging. Definitely wasn’t scary, and there were some failed proddings at a coming-of-age component in the story. Everything we see here are things I’ve seen before, seen done much better, and am presently seeing in no original permutation. I’m reminded of my disappointment with Apartment 143 (2011). Sigh.
Our blind nun is a needlessly cliché harbinger unironically revealed, the founding basis of the Ouija board and the “rules” governing the spirits on the “other side” were shakily contrived, and the biggest revelations in the final act packed no punch. The only thing that really worked in this film was the relationship between Veronica and her three siblings—all the child actors performed well. But that simply wasn’t enough to salvage this.
This was really a shocking disappointment for me since I loved Plaza’s [REC] 1-3 films so much. My recommendation is to simply let the phantasmal limbs drag Veronica into some other-worldly oubliette where she’ll be able to bore no more unlucky horror fans.
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The MFF podcast is back and we are finishing up the groundbreaking tournament of cinematic sea beasts! Who will win? We are down to eight monsters and we believe you will 100% accept and support our winner (perfect choice). If you are into cinematic sea monsters (or even just a couple of them) you will love every second of this in-depth podcast that explores every facet of their existence and hunting tactics. This pod was months in the making and we guarantee you will never look at cinematic sea monsters the same ever again.
Will the Merman win?
As always, we answer random listener questions and discuss sea beasts who should become land beasts. If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Podbean, or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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MY CALL: Perhaps redeeming the franchise for the previous sequel, and matching the former glory of part 1! Oh, and sooooooooooo wonderfully, deliciously, splatteringly gory!!!! MOVIES LIKE Hatchet III: Of course see the first Hatchet (2006), Hatchet II (2010), and the Friday the 13th (1980), Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and Wrong Turn (2003) franchises comprise the more serious suggestions—being that these are the movies being lampooned. But Final Destination 5 (2011), Piranha 3D (2010), Piranha 3DD (2012), The Hazing (2004) and Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010) seem to better capture the flavor of Hatchet. For more gore-geared hilarity, try Drag Me to Hell (2009) and The Cabin in the Woods (2012).
Part II SIDEBAR: So after Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder; Friday the 13th parts VII-X, Hatchet) survived being burned alive and speared through the neck in part 1, he pulled a Jason Voorhees and aquatic-ambushed Marybeth (then played by Tamara Feldman), the credits rolling with Marybeth in his clutches. Replacing Tamara Feldman as Marybeth, Danielle Harris (Halloween I-II, The Black Waters of Echo’s Pond) escapes Crowley and assembles a hunting party to put an end to the curse and avenge her murdered alligator-poaching family. Part II ended when Marybeth gave Victor Crowley a mutilating head smashing with his own hatchet and then finished off his skull muck with a shot gun. So, clearly, he’s dead now, right? Psssssh.
As if apologizing for the notable drop in quality observed in part II, director BJ McDonnell picks up former writer/director Adam Green’s (Frozen, Hatchet I-II) spoofy franchise and begins part III with a mushy gooey extra sloppy opener! That’s right, Crowley impossibly got right back up with nothing but Sloppy Joe filling for a face! Gorehounds will rejoice as Marybeth buries her fist into Crowley’s caved in face with all the lip-smacking sound effects of stomping your boots in thick sludgy mud. Oh, and the chainsaw-induced gore… just delicious!
Franchise Timeline SIDEBAR: Note that part 1 took place in just one day, and part II was the very next day… much as the swift continuity of Friday the 13th parts II-IV. Now part III begins right after Marybeth shot Crowley in the face… or what was left of it. So these three movies span only three back-to-back days in movieland.
Sheriff Fowler (Zach Galligan; Waxwork, Gremlins) and his local Crowley folklore expert ex-wife (Caroline Williams; The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Leprechaun 3) team up with Marybeth and SWAT leader Hawes (Derek Mears; Friday the 13th, Cursed) to put an end to the unkillable mutant hillbilly Crowley. Rounding out the cast, Parry Shen (The Hazing/Dead Scared) returns yet again in a third role (Andrew) in as many movies after playing the part II’s brother (Shawn) of part I’s tour guide (Justin)!
This third franchise installment brings viciously awesome pacing and completely redeems 2010’s slow starting (and slow middling) sequel by delivering a defibrillator death scene, loads of spine-ripping and limb-tearing dismemberment, torso rending, severed head throwing (at other victims!!!!), head gauging, head exploding, head splitting and smushy gushy head stomping. The gore is heavy and by the end everything is painted in blood! Amid the zany fun are nods to Predator (1987; shooting down the forest), Jason Voorhees’ incredible resurrections (e.g., the knife in the head), 80s death curses (e.g., Myers and Voorhees), and Fright Night’s (1985) disturbingly messy melting death.
The whole curse thing was probably the weakest aspect of the movie, but who could even care or notice? There was so much action and blood and gore… horrorhounds will find themselves smiling throughout the entire running time of this wonderful sequel that does true honor to the 2006 original and forgives any hiccups of part II.
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MY CALL: Not holding a candle to the former glory of its predecessor, this sequel offers a redeemingly gory third act after a rather boring first hour. MOVIES LIKE Hatchet II: Of course see the first Hatchet (2006), and the Friday the 13th (1980), Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and Wrong Turn (2003) franchises comprise the more serious suggestions—being that these are the movies being lampooned. But Final Destination 5 (2011), Piranha 3D (2010), Piranha 3DD (2012), The Hazing (2004) and Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010) seem to better capture the flavor of Hatchet. For more gore-geared hilarity, try Drag Me to Hell (2009) and The Cabin in the Woods (2012).
Part I SIDEBAR: So after Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder; Friday the 13th parts VII-X, Hatchet) survived being burned alive and speared through the neck with an iron gate pole, he pulled a Jason Voorhees and aquatic-ambushed our final survivors Ben (Joel David Moore; Shark Night 3D, The Diary of Anne Frankenstein in Chillerama) and Marybeth (Tamara Feldman; Perfect Stranger)—with the credits rolling as Crowley slovenly rages with Marybeth in his clutches. Replacing Tamara Feldman, Danielle Harris (Halloween I-II, The Black Waters of Echo’s Pond) assumes the role of our surviving heroine whose initial goal was to rid the swamp of Crowley’s curse since, in fact, it was her gator-hunting father (Robert Englund; Zombie Strippers, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Freddy vs Jason) and brother who were killed in part 1’s opening scene.
Writer/director Adam Green (Frozen, The Diary of Anne Frankenstein in Chillerama) delighted audiences with his spoofy horror (Hatchet) paying homage to the Gods of 80s slasher movies, and now he has returned to develop his killer’s folklore. This sequel picks up immediately as Hatchet (2006) left off: with Marybeth in Crowley’s clutches in the swamp. And just as quickly as she finds safety, we learn that her family ties run deeper than both part 1 revealed and deeper than even Marybeth realizes.
Horror icons Tom Holland (Fright Night, Child’s Play), R.A. Mihailoff (Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, Pumpkinhead II, Smothered) and Tony Todd (Final Destination 5, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen) round out the cast, which curiously includes Parry Shen (The Hazing/Dead Scared) playing the brother (Shawn) of part 1’s tour guide (Justin).
Hatchet succeeded by virtue of its simplicity: some twenty-somethings randomly get killed in gloriously gory fashion after some basic exposition about their mutant killer is sprinkled in for flavor. This sequel, however remaining playfully spoofy, tries to be more than its stage-setting predecessor, and this may have been its downfall.
The special effects in part 1 yielded outstandingly fun on-screen death scenes. A significant drop from 2006’s $1.5M budget (which was utilized as best I’ve ever seen), this sequel clocks in at $800K. And whereas some gore effects were great, the huge action gap between the opening kill and the third act was really quite boring and it wicked away the spoofy “bad movie” charm of the caricatured characters. That was quite a weak point.
But when the kills start to add up, it all gets fun again and perhaps redeems the film for those patient enough to suffer through the first 60 minutes. The ensuing macabre shenanigans include a sex scene kill complete and a double chainsaw kill—both boasting some mean genital mutilation—along with more decapitation, torso-rending, impalement antics, a brutal curb stomp and a messy head smash. There’s even a rope-and-reel disembowelment followed by strangling someone with their own intestines. The effort is all there, but the execution doesn’t always measure up to the original.
With a little patience, fans of the original should enjoy this even if it fails to do proper justice to its origins.
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The MFF podcast is back and we are partaking in a massive two-part podcast special in which we attempt to figure out the greatest cinematic sea beast. We compiled 16 monsters, collected over 40 listener questions and drew up a tournament bracket that will whittle out the winners from losers. If you are into cinematic sea monsters (or even just a couple of them) you will love every second of this in-depth podcast that explores every facet of their existence and hunting tactics. This pod was months in the making and we guarantee you will never look at cinematic sea monsters the same ever again.
Will the Sando Aqua Monster from The Phantom Menace win?
As always, we answer random listener questions and discuss if there is actually an octopus in The Goonies (the answer will blow your mind). If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Podbean, or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
As promised here is the trailer for Cold Skin. It looks dope.
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MFF Special: How Much Ground Did Nic Cage Cover While Dressed as a Bear in The Wicker Man Remake?
I love The Wicker Man remake because of its over-the-top acting and a once in a lifetime moment involving Nic Cage running amok in a bear suit. Very rarely have movies confounded me like The Wicker Man and it has left me with several questions that I needed to answer.
- How far does he travel while wearing the bear suit?
- Where did he learn to fight? The dude knocks out three people and knocks down two people with six total strikes.
- Could I map the island to learn how far he traveled?
- How did a parade of slow-moving people manage to travel in a group to another location to wait for Nic Cage after he frees his daughter Rowan?
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I will never know how he learned to be such an efficient striker but I figured I could map the island and track his bear-suited movements. After watching the movie again I quickly realized that director Neil LaBute had no interest in making anything easy on me. The geography of the island is never 100% established and nothing makes geographical sense, but if you know my dumb data you know I try my best to combine all the clues to make an educated guess that is somewhere close to what is featured in the movie. There is no actual way to ever know how far Nic Cage traveled while dressed as a bear but the following is the best guess I was able to put together.
THE WICKER MAN, Nicolas Cage, Erika-Shaye Gair, 2006, (c) Warner Brothers
Here are some assumptions that I have about the island:
- Nic Cage covers a lot of ground during his investigation. However, he never notices that they are building a massive statue that he will eventually burn in. Thus, the statue must be on the opposite side of the island because he has covered most of the coastal trails on the Lodge side of the island and had been to several homes/barns and a graveyard, old church, school, apothecary and a very large bee farm and witnessed nothing being built in a large field that is about 200 yards from the water (thanks, crane shot at the end).
- After leaving Willow’s (his ex-who got him to the island) house he comes across some men loading wood onto a wagon. This means there is an adequate road system for transporting supplies via wagon. When we see the statue later those pieces of wood look very familiar. I love that they are collecting wood for the large wooden creation while Cage is running around like a maniac.
- The island isn’t massive, but it is big enough to make bicycles a viable transportation option. However, there are no bicycles or houses in sight during the finale so it must be a remote part of the island.
- In the time it takes for Cage to run from the cemetery to the Summerisle residence his once soaked clothes are now dry. This means the distance is at least two miles through trails and wooded terrain.
- If the length of the island is over two miles and Cage’s journies took him relatively deep inland (up hills, through trails etc..) it makes sense that it would be at least one mile to the opposite side of the island.
Here is what happened
Towards the end of the movie, the island’s denizens start their journey to supposedly light a little girl on fire because they need a sacrifice for their crops. They start at Sister Summerisle’s (Ellen Burstyn) home and make their way inland through the bee maze and into a forested area. When they reach the forested trail, Nic Cage comes from the trees and meets up with his ex-fiance Willow (Kate Beahan). They finally stop at a forested area where this happens.
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Where did Nic Cage come from?
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Nic Cage came from the lodge/bar that he was staying at while he was doing his illegal and loud investigation. The lodge is located centrally near the coast and is a solid base for everything that happens. Once he gets the bear suit on he runs up a hill and through the forest in an effort to meet up with the parade of cultists and Miss-bee-havers.
Because of the location of the Lodge in relation to where the cultists traveled I’m guessing Nic Cage had to travel 1800 yards (5400 feet) while dressed as a bear. How did I figure this out? Since he starts his journey on the coast he needs to move inland and over and down several hills and eventually cut off the roving group of honey lovers. Once he gets with them they travel for several hundred yards until they get to the burning site. He then runs about 50 yards to knock out an unsuspecting lady and rescue his “daughter” Rowan. They then run away into the woods where he takes off the bear suit. The distance covered is easily 1800 yards because he runs through the woods, travels along a trail, and eventually walked further with the parade before he made a final sprint to knock a lady out.
It’s impossible to know the exact number and I was initially a little disappointed that I couldn’t factually say something like “Nic Cage ran two miles in 14 minutes while disguised in a bear suit.” However, I still love the fact that he traveled over a mile while dressed as a bear and I’m 100% certain that my incorrect guess is pretty close to the actual distance Nic Cage ran.
If you liked this random post make sure to check out my other stuff! Also, a big thanks to Brian Raftery at Wired for interviewing me about this dumb data.
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The MFF podcast is back and we are talking about the most influential films of the 1960s. The 1960s featured some truly groundbreaking movies that revolutionized international filmmaking and still have a lasting effect today. We put together a list of 10 films from each year and researched the crap out of them to let you know how they influenced modern day cinema. Get ready to hear us talk about Breathless, The Apartment, Night of the Living Dead, Dr. Strangelove and Dr. No.
They’re coming to get you, Barbara.
As always, we answer random listener questions and discuss why wizards don’t get punched in the face more. If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Podbean, or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
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The 2018 MFF March “Mad Movie” Madness Bracket
March Madness is upon us so I felt it was necessary to figure out which movie with “mad/madness” in its title would reign supreme in a single elimination tournament. I compiled a list of 32 movies and I ranked them according to their Tomatometer/IMDb User Score average. I then set up the bracket much like the NCAA does (#1 vs #32 in first round etc..) and set about making my predictions.
There are some upsets in the list and I feel like I’ve gone out on a limb picking Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior over Mad Max: Fury Road in the final. The way I see it is Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior took the template from Stagecoach and created an action classic. Mad Max: Fury Road is a better film but it borrowed the gameplan from its predecessor and when it comes down to it I believe The Road Warrior will hit all the clutch shots on the way to the fictional championship.
I took a couple risks by picking #15 In the Mouth of Madness and #13 Mad Dog and Glory to make it so far in the tournament because I am a huge fan of John Carpenter and Bill Murray. They may be outmatched but if you’ve watched Space Jam or Rushmore you know to never bet against Bill Murray (until he goes head to head with Mad Max).
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Here is the bracket below! Leave a comment and let me know who you think should win.
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The MFF podcast is back and we are talking about The Oscars, cinematic push-ups and Annihilation! This is a very special episode because we are joined by Zachary Beckler the director of the award-winning Interior (and occasional MFF contributor). I’ve known Zachary for 16(ish) years and our history goes all the way back to working at an AMC theatre before stadium seating was a thing. We also wrote a very weird script about vampires living with their parents, and we made some truly odd short films that focus on retired drug dealers and creepy people earing Doritos. In this uber-exciting pod, you will hear us wax poetic about some unique science-fiction movies and discuss Interior.
You should watch Interior on Amazon Prime.
As always, we answer random listener questions and ponder whether or not The Shape of Water should’ve won Best Picture at the Academy Awards. If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
You can download the pod on Itunes, Stitcher, Podbean, or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOG TALK RADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
Movies, Films & Flix 