The King of Fighters (2010)
Hello all. Mark here.
The King of Fighters sounds really bad. However, after John’s review I want to watch it. I dig bad fighting movies based on video games. They always make me laugh.
By John Leavengood
MY CALL: It’s The Sorcerer’s Apprentice meets a wannabe Mortal Kombat and Ray Parks goes all “precious”-craving Gollum. I’d skip it. [C] WHAT TO WATCH INSTEAD: I mention several other movies in this review. All of them, including Balls of Fury, have better action than this. IF YOU LIKE THIS, WATCH: If this did it for you then you’re probably younger and more interested in the girls’ outfits than the violence. So I’d direct you to something like DOA. Maybe check out Tekken, as well.
DISCLAIMER: This is based on a video game that I have never heard of. However, I love any seriously done tournament-style martial arts movie. Just forgive me if I ignore statements as to whether or not certain game characters were done justice.
So, as I was saying, this is about some non-lethal tournament in which the fighters get summoned—with all of the notice of a 911 page to a doctor on call—to an alternate dimension for battle. The fighters beam into this Matrix-y alternate dimension by way of some Bluetooth-like earpiece which is fueled by three ancient artifacts (owned by three different clans). Legend has it that if one man was to possess all three that he could be granted limitless power. So naturally they are displayed in the open air behind no protective barriers at some fund-raiser with minimal floor security and the first guy who comes along (Rugal, played by Ray Parks) succeeds in a kind of smash-and-grab job often delegated to dim-witted street thugs. Rugal then changes the tournament into a more deadly game to serve his dreams of tyranny…or something. His ambitions really aren’t clear.
The combat is nothing awesome, but serviceable and occasionally filmed decently enough such that the viewer can see what’s going on in the fight. There are even a few impressive acrobatic moments—but they by no means redeem this movie or make it rent-worthy. The set design of the combat dimension is not terribly innovative, which is a shame because that’s what gives a movie like this its flavor. But the overall production value is good, the acting is reduced by overly simplistic dialogue (no shock there), and I doubt I’ll regret watching this.
Ray Parks (The Phantom Menace, Ecks vs Sever) and the always lovely Maggie Q (Live Free of Die Hard, MI:III, Balls of Fury) are horribly underutilized. In fact, it’s a shame they didn’t do the action direction and choreography themselves. I imagine they were upset when they saw their fight scenes for the first time. The finale is some terrible mach-up of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice and later installments of the Mortal Kombat movie franchise.
An Anime-haired Sean Faris (Never Back Down), a Maggie Q shower scene, a very PG lesbian locker room scene, and the women’s wardrobe suggests that this was made for teenagers who would sooner rent this on a Friday night rather than going out and actually talking to real live girls.
Here’s a trailer with some actor/director interview commentary.
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Submarine
This movie is a nice little bugger. It feels like a mixture of Wes Anderson, The Arctic Monkeys, Holden Cauflield and A Christmas Story.
Submarine focuses on a 15-16 year old who is entering the world of dating and dealing with his parents loveless marriage. You can’t really generalize this film. You can give people a basic idea but it would be like explaining Bottle Rocket, Rushmore and Royal Tennenbaums. A general synopsis would not do it justice.
I love movies like this. Characters are three-dimensional, the vision is unique, quirks are aplenty and it has a freshness that is missing in bigger budget films. This film has a look all its own. The 35mm camera captures a nice raw look that saturates the color and gives it the pretentiousness it needs. You’d expect this movie to come from this guy. Richard Ayoade (Mighty Boosh, IT Crowd).
Watch this film. Enjoy the freshness. Dig the Soundtrack.
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Trailer Talk: Ghost Rider 2
Nicolas Cage + motorcycles + flaming skulls + bad CGI = A happy Mark.
My only hope is that Cage continues the trend of acting bored whilst crazy things are happening around him. Season of the Witch and Next are examples of bored acting.
From what I gather about the trailer is Nic Cage hunting an evil that is more evil than the evil he defeated in the first film. It always seems that evil gets more evil after you destroy it. If I was an evil guy I would get defeated at least 30 times. Because, after that I’d be unstoppable. Nic Cage would need to recruit his characters from Con Air, The Rock, The Weatherman, Raising Arizona and Face-Off to even have a chance of putting a hurting on me.
The CGI seems better in this film and it has the benefit of not having Wes Bentley as the bad guy. Also, the day time car chase looks really cool. The one thing this movie seems to have going for it is that it will not be boring. In the preview Nic pukes fire and unnecessarily/creatively kills the bad guys. I love how this trailer tastefully answers the unnecessary question of whether or not a flaming man from hell can pee. The answer is yes……He pisses fire.
I’m going to watch this film. It will not be good but I’m not expecting Thor or Captain America. I’m hoping for a bored Nicolas Cage and a whole lot of explosions.
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Bad Movie Tuesday: Last Night
This film was originally entitled “Good looking people looking depressed and Cheating on Each Other.”
I’ve decided to tackle an issue that has not been explored on Bad Movie Tuesday. This issue is worse than bad acting, bad CGI and incoherent plots. The issue is unhappy good-looking rich people. These rich people have been plaguing our cinemas for too long under the guise of good cinema. People tend to think they are watching a good film when a somber score plays while pretty people pout. The populace’s eyes need to be opened!
When people made a big deal about the film Closer I wondered what all the praise was for. Sure the acting was good but when you break the film down it is about four rich bitter good-looking people who lie, cheat and lie? The people are miserable little punks who complain a lot. You are spending money to watch people be selfish.
Here is a breakdown of Last Night. An attractive/rich/skinny/well-groomed married couple flirts with adultery. The odd thing is that from the beginning they are fighting and distant. You never get a chance to like them. I don’t even remember their names. It is 90 minutes of nondescript people talking about how unhappy they are. Also, I think they broke the world record for most pouty looks in a film.
If Dolph Lundgren was in this movie it would involve him playing duel twin roles and sleeping with the two twenty year old wives and six mistresses while they rescued the world. There would be no pouting…Not because of the script, I’m certain Dolph can’t physically pout. If Stephen Baldwin was in this film it would feature funny and uncomfortable scenes of him being flirtatious.
I’m gonna compare the film Last Night to sunflower seeds. Sunflower seeds sound healthy but they are loaded with sodium. Thus, they are deceptively unhealthy. Plus, they can get stuck in the back of your mouth and annoy you. Last Night looks good but it is all empty annoying calories.
If they decide to be faithful do they get a medal? Should you cheer because they didn’t cheat? What is the over/under on Sam Worthington cheating? I’m thinking -350…However, Knightley’s French ex could be the wildcard.
The biggest thing I don’t understand is who was the target audience for this film? It is not a date flick. It is not a sci-fi flick, it isn’t foreign, it doesn’t start with adultery and end with giant robots.
Don’t get me wrong. I love movies focusing on relationship troubles. 500 Days of Summer, Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, All the Real Girls, The Zoo Keeper and Deuce Bigelow Male Gigolo. However, watching two people be selfish for 90 minutes is not my idea of a fun night.
So, the next time you see an ad for a film like this. Stay away! Don’t be fooled.
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Drive
Lost in Translation, Once, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The Royal Tennenbams and Layer Cake. After watching each of these films I bought their soundtracks. Whenever I love a movie I immediately buy the soundtracks. The music reminds me of the experience and motivates me to write. Drive and its Director made me remember the motivating effect that movies can have.
Nicolas Winding Refn has finally managed to mainstream his insanity. After The Pusher Trilogy, Bronson and Valhalla Rising Refn has succeeded in making a Hollywood movie in his own way.
An 80s sounding score, an anti-hero out of a noir film and a current day Los Angeles. Drive centers around the unnamed Gosling as he tries to protect Carrey Mulligan and her son. Violence and a great score follow.
The preview makes it look like any other film. This is not the case. The movie is unpredictable and beautiful to look at. Drive is a reflective piece with occasional ultra violence. The violence does go to unnecessary extremes but it wouldn’t be a Refn film without a fork getting stabbed in someone’s eye.
Gosling and Refn are teaming up for two more films (Logan’s Run and Only God Forgives) and I think this pairing is going to give us some great work. I’m hoping they become a crazier version of DiCaprio and Scorsese.
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Hanna #2
Hello all. Mark here.
John already reviewed this film if you want a really good synopsis of the film. I wanted to chime in now that it is on blu-ray.
1. Hanna is a beautiful looking action/fairy tale that features superb cinematography, action and music. The plot centers around a young girl on the hunt for a southern accented Cate Blanchett.
2. There is an amazing steady-cam shot featuring Eric Bana that is three minutes and six seconds of uninterrupted awesomeness. Director Joe Wright is known for his long shots (Atonement)
3. The score by The Chemical Brothers is badass. It stands side by side with Daft Punk’s score of Tron.
4. There is an amazing dolly shot featuring a dude dancing with fire, another guy flipping a pipe to the score and Cate Blanchett acting tough.
5. John disliked the ending. He said the director should be “kicked in the nuts.” I disagree I thought the ending was badass.
6. I dug this flick. I hope the mainstream will catch on to it.
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Top 5 Survival Guide
My buddy VJ sent me a random text the other day that simply said “Top 5 characters you would want with you in a survival situation.”
If you’ve read the blog for a while you know we are always putting together top five lists or football teams with movie characters. I love putting the lists together and we’ve actually come up with some great lists. Whether it be a Horror, Sci-Fi, Animated or Romantic Comedy football team. Hofmeyer’s 11 or Desert Island Picks and John’s Island Picks.
VJ eventually sent me his picks
VJ’s Top 5 Survival Movie Characters…
1. Anthony Hopkins “The Edge” He’s old, he’s slow, he’s a billionaire. However he seems to know everything about everything. If I’m lost in the woods I want to be with a guy who knows how to make a compass out of a paperclip and a leaf. Fun fact from the movie: Anthony Hopkins character even knows that most people lost in the woods die of Shame. I had no idea…
2. Ice T “Surviving the Game” Rich guys from the city who hunt bums on the weekends, but this time they chose the wrong bum. Somehow Ice T (who in the beginning is only armed with his bare hands) beats experienced hunters armed with fancy guns, 4 wheelers, and dirt bikes?! That’s a guy I want on my team
3. Burt Reynolds “Deliverance” I think that ones goes without explanation!
4. Kurt Russell “Escape from New York” How can you lose if your guides name is Snake Plissken?! Give him a sidekick named Schmitzky, and I’d be willing to bet those two could get anyone out of any situation
5. My final pic is a bit of a wildcard, but I’m going to go with Johnny Depp’s character from “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” Not really sure why I picked this one, but a guy who can handle that many drugs and make it out of Las Vegas alive, I don’t know just have a good feeling about him…
I really dug VJ’s list and I needed to put together something good. Here it is. Enjoy!
1. The Black Knight-Monty Python and the Holy Grail-The dude can survive without legs and arms. Flesh wounds do not bother him. Actually, he doesn’t seem to feel any pain. He will be just fine surviving on a desert or island.
4. Woody Harrelson-Zombieland– Not only does he survive a zombie apocalypse but he thrives and kicks major butt. the guy manages to kill 200 zombies by himself….Nothing else will ever seem hard. The only downside is that he complains about twinkies.
5. Cillian Murphy-28 Days Later– The dude out runs, kills and survives violent fast rage infected zombies. He also outwits soldiers who are loaded with guns. I’m thinking he could survive anything.
2. Scott Pilgrim. No brainer. He has comic book powers in real life.
3. Ernie Reyes Jr. He kicks ass in Surf Ninja’s and is a badass in The Rundown.
4. Master Splinter. Who is going to fuck with a life-size ninja rat that can talk.
5. Ip Man. Nobody is going to fight with the guy who trained Bruce Lee.
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Moneyball
Moneyball is a mature, moving and funny story of how the Oakland Athletic’s General Manager Billy Beane and Peter Brand were able create a history making team with only 39 million. 39 million may seem like a lot but compared to the New York Yankee’s 120 million you can see the difference.
The 2002 Athletics did not win the World Series but they did win 2o in a row which is the longest streak in baseball history. This team opened up many other organizations eyes. Two years later the Red Sox won the World Series. Also, the Tampa Bay Rays on a shoe string budget made it to the Series in 2008. The years of choosing a guy because he had a good chin or was dating a beautiful woman was mostly over.
Brad Pitt is reliably great as Beane. Jonah Hill gets away from his manic/slacker guy routine and delivers an understated performance that is the perfect pairing with Pitt’s charisma. Together they form a nice team that share many fun scenes.
The movie is similar to The Social Network yet nothing like it. When I first heard David Fincher was making a movie about Facebook I wondered how it would work. I wondered the same thing when I heard about the plot of this film. However, both films work on every level. The tying thread between these films is Aaron Sorkin. He had a hand in writing each one. Some of the scenes of dialogue in Social Network and Moneyball are more exciting than any of the scenes in most of the action films released this summer.
If you like this movie watch the film The Damned United. It is a true story about Soccer coach Brian Clough. Who put together winning teams on a budget. I enjoy the film and director Tom Hooper.
Enjoy Moneyball. Let me know what you think.
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Bad Movie Tuesday: Shark Night 3D
I started Bad Movie Tuesday a year ago to share my love of bad movies. The point of this blog is not to bash bad movies. It is to celebrate them. There is a lot of badness to celebrate within Shark Night 3D.
I am going to include some SPOILERS in this review so don’t read any further if you don’t want to know the twists. I’m pretty certain it is nothing like spoiling The Sixth Sense or Citizen Kane. However, I don’t want to anger readers who would prefer to have their first viewing of Shark Night kept pure.
The film revolves around college students traveling to an island house in Louisiana for a weekend of beer, fun, PG-13 antics , bikinis and bad acting.
Of course, as they travel into town they are welcomed by a racist redneck with sharpened teeth and a guy who I will name Casper Van Dien’s younger brother.
These guys will obviously cause trouble. Any time a bad movie about sharks introduces two scuba diving rednecks with scars you know they will be punks. Also, if a man with sharpened teeth asks you to take a boat ride with him…..run like the wind. Nothing good can come from it and you end up as a shark snack.
One thing I love about this movie is that the sharks are faster than boats and jet skis but can never catch people when they are swimming. Michael Phelps could easily swim away from the sharks but put him on a boat and he is bait. I’m thinking they are like those boxers who fight down to their competition. The swimmers are too easy and they get cocky. However, when they are going fifty miles on a jet ski the sharks can easily get past the human and time their jumps perfectly so they can snag the moving targets mid-air in slow motion.
SPOILER: This dude gets it when he turns around:
The big SPOILER is that the evil rednecks are capturing sharks and bringing them into the lake. These sharks have cameras attached to them and they film the shark attacks and sell them to buyers who pay big money to see women in bikinis get eaten by large aquatic creatures.
The biggest problem is how do they find all of these sharks and deliver them into the river. Where do they hold them? How do they get them back? How can they control them? What happens when people discover sharks in the lake? What if the tapes make it onto YouTube and the victims are recognized and they trace the tapes back to the lake? What happens when all the lake goers swim thus leaving the sharks incapable of catching them?
How do they find the buyers? Do they put ads on Craigslist that say:
“Ever wonder what sharks can do to nubile young women? email us at bigoleredneck@aol.com and find out.”
“Do you like the movie Deep Blue Sea? Well, these tapes are like that but real and illegal.”
“Shark attack videos $300. If you are a cop do not inquire.”
Eventually, a one-armed guy from Baltimore holding a spear challenges a hammerhead shark to a no rules death match. Any time this happens in a film you have to appreciate it. It means that sometime during the writing process the writer goes “I think we should have a one-armed guy fight a shark with a spear.”
The number one thing I love about shark films is that the laws of nature do not exist. Mega Sharks snag planes out of the air, genetically engineered sharks herd scientists at their will and in the movie Jaws 4 the relative of the original Jaws remembers who you are.
The acting in this film is reliably bad. The nerdy guy is a nerd because he wears glasses, the other girl is trouble because she has tattoos. The CGI looks straight out of the 1990s…which I love. all the badness leads to bad goodness which put a smile on my face.
I couldn’t have watched a more perfect film to ring in the one year anniversary of The Moviesfilmsandflix blog!
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Red State
Two things allowed me to appreciate this film.
1. Cop Out– This is one of the worst movies ever made and Kevin Smith directed it. Any film Smith made after this would seem great by comparison.
2. Kevin Smith is a likable guy. I listen to his Smodcast and enjoy all of his commentaries and live appearances. Kevin told a story about a screening he did for Clerks. Smith previewed the movie, then he and producer Scott Mosier discussed the film afterward. After everything Smith overheard a person say “I didn’t like the movie but Smith is a cool guy.”
I’ve listened to Smith talk about Red State a lot. I knew everything about it before I watched it. I know it is a hybrid flick about a crazy religious group based on the Phelps family. It was made on a shoestring budget of four million and Smith promoted it himself.
What I like is that he tried something different. This still is not a complete film but you can tell a lot of love went into it. The cinematography is much better than his latest flicks and he coaxes some excellent performances.
I’m not saying this is a great film or one that the mainstream audience will enjoy. However, I was glad to have finally watched it. This is a Kevin Smith I didn’t think existed after Cop Out. That movie was so safe and boring. Red State is far from boring.
Expect the word F*^* to be used 700 times, expect Michael Parks preaching craziness for a ten minute scene, Expect blood and little bit of torture.
The best part of the film is the ending. I won’t ruin the surprise but it is hilarious and adds welcome levity to a dark subject.
Watch this movie when it comes out on DVD later this month. Let me know what you think. I’d love to hear other peoples opinions.
Movies, Films & Flix 