MY CALL: This was a laughably bad movie loaded with nudity but not overly raunchy, and it at least makes an effort with the creature effects and horror/attack scenes. Still, I wouldn’t dare recommend it. MORE MOVIES LIKE Evil Spawn: For more smutty Sci-Horror B-movies, try Biohazard (1985), Evils of the Night (1985) and Creepazoids (1987).
After a Venus probe returns to Earth loaded with alien microbes, researchers dutifully perform unethical research splicing the DNA of alien microbial organisms and humans. This feels oddly similar to the premise of Species (1995)…
This 70-minute Fred Olen Ray (Biohazard, Deep Space, Scalps) DVD was, like a SkineMax midnight movie, introduced by Ray himself and what I believe to be several adult film actresses showing more skin in the five-minute intro than you’d normally get in an entire movie. Clearly, I’m in for something much more smutty than I had anticipated.
Thankfully, in the opening scene of the actual film we see a B-movie monster (a spider-rat hybrid thing) attacking some poor scientist. The execution is super-clunky. But God bless them, they really tried and showed us a lot of the creature. However cheap a movie may be, I can appreciate that.
The nefarious researcher Evelyn (Dawn Wildsmith, or Donna Shock; Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Deep Space, Evils of the Night) works with Dr. Zeitman (John Carradine; Evils of the Night, The Nesting, The Howling, The Sentinel) on anti-aging research. Evelyn approaches a gorgeous but aging actress Lynn (Bobbie Bresee; Mausoleum, Surf Nazis Must Die, Ghoulies) with a proposal to prolong her youth and beauty. Desperate to earn more starring roles, she takes the serum.
Once infected, people react differently. One becomes a sore-covered ghoul with the strength to rip an arm from its blood-spewing socket. And Lynn, when threatened a la Species (1995), turns into a ridiculous, rubber-suited insectoid monster. Another of her transformations assumes the likeness of a gnarly Predator (1987)-meets-Demons (1985) make-up job that is far more entertaining before she “weres” into the monster suit form that is beginning to remind me of Brundlefly from The Fly (1986). The special effects are more than serviceable for B-movie fans. But on the scales of decency, the effects are definitely outweighed by boobage. There are striptease and sex scenes, shower scenes, skinny-dipping and just plain standing around topless scenes. Every opportunity to show breasts was readily presented.
The closest thing to a hero in this schlocky movie is Lynn’s biographer Ross (Drew Godderis; Cannibal Hookers, Blood Diner, Deep Space), who takes a break from writing her memoirs to try to save her from vanity-induced murderous space-mania and notify the public of the threat.
All told, this was a laughably bad movie loaded with nudity but not overly raunchy, and it at least makes an effort with the creature effects and number of horror scenes. Still, I wouldn’t dare recommend it.
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John’s Horror Corner: Child’s Play (1988), the classic evil doll movie introducing us to Chucky and Brad Dourif’s menace!
MY CALL: This is a classic that holds up splendidly due to great filmmaking, thoughtfully written characters, and enduring practical special effects. Strongest recommendations whether you want an 80s classic or a quintessential killer doll film. MOVIES LIKE Child’s Play: The other Chucky movies most worth watching are Child’s Play 2 (1990), and then I might skip all the way to Curse of Chucky (2013) and Cult of Chucky (2017)—not that I didn’t enjoy them all to some degree. There is also the excellent remake of Child’s Play (2019). Other quality evil doll films include The Boy (2016), Annabelle: Creation (2017), Dolly Dearest (1991), Dolls (1987) and Puppet Master (1989).
Detective Norris (Chris Sarandon; Fright Night, The Resurrected, The Sentinel) is in pursuit of serial killer Charles Lee Ray (Brad Dourif; The Hazing, Dune, Curse of Chucky, Cult of Chucky) who, in a striking cinematic scene of 80s horror, desperately invokes black magic to pass his soul into a vessel before he succumbs to his gunshot wounds. That vessel: a Good Guy doll in a toy store.
Before in an era when a talking doll could wow children across the world and kids had outfits to match their them, single mother Karen (Catherine Hicks; Turbulence) gives her 6-year-old son Andy (Alex Vincent; Curse of Chucky, Cult of Chucky, Child’s Play 2) one such sought-after doll for his birthday… but they ended up with a serious product defect!
Director Tom Holland (Fright Night, Tales from the Crypt, Thinner, The Temp) is masterful at staging his scenes with his love of filmmaking eclipsing his love of horror. When Andy is woefully disappointed by the absence of a Good Guy doll among his gifts, Karen’s response feels as sincere and credibly humbling as the plights I grew up experiencing with a single low-income mother. The characters all feel significant, and even the minor roles feel fleshed out and lived-in characters (e.g., Karen’s boss at the department store and the hobo who sells Karen the Good Guy). Also, the child actor (as Andy) was great. He carried his scenes well, and adorably!
Demonstrating a tactful restraint before revealing Chucky, this movie toys with our nerves. Not until halfway through the film do we hear Chucky’s real voice or see him moving autonomously on-screen. We watch apprehensively as Karen looks under the couch for the doll, poking Chucky to see if he responds. We encounter the classic doll movie tells—but, to be fair, these are probably tropes solidified by this film. The doll never seems to be where people left it, Andy is blamed for the actions of the doll, the doll appears in strange places, Andy leans in as if Chucky is whispering to him and then says something no 6-year-old would say, mischievous POV shots scrambling down the hallway, and young Andy suggests that Chucky can move on his own. And the result is the sort of plain old-fashioned malevolence that would make homicidal dolls menacing for generations to come (along with the Twilight Zone’s Talking Tina).
Chucky is mentally askew, a true psychopath, and his facial expressions are rich with depth. Brad Dourif’s growling screams imbue Chucky with a menace few actors could or would even dare to attempt, and it has brought fame to both franchise and actor alike. But menace isn’t all that characterizes Chucky, but entropic madness. And Chucky is just plain mean. He delights in torturing people, whether with voodoo doll limb-breaking or slow electrocution.
Devoid of the overly sleek movements of a modern CGI monster, Chucky moves with the awkward and rigid locomotory clumsiness that an animated doll might actually have—lacking proper articulating tendons and joints. When Chucky attacks Karen (by the fireplace) and Norris (in the car) his movements have the erratic quality of a murderous round of Whack-a-Mole.
Chucky becomes more human the longer he spends in his doll vessel, and to avoid being trapped as a doll-man forever, he must find a living vessel. Not only does Chucky keep the wounds he has incurred, but he even eerily looks more human later in the film and his expressions become jarring, even terrifying.
The pacing of the film feels strong throughout. When Andy lights Chucky on fire we get the most powerful use of the “friends ‘til the end” line. And then, with his horrifically charred still-smoking melty-plastic body, Chucky lumbers forth as he is shot to actual pieces in a wonderful finale.
This film is unrelenting when it comes to piling on just one more shock to a scene, and the performances match the excitement of the action. This is one of those films that holds up splendidly over time due to great filmmaking, thoughtful writing, and enduring practical special effects. Strongest recommendations.
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The MFF podcast is back, and this week we’re talking about the 1997 cult classic Cube. We here at MFF love Cube, because of its inventive set design, fun script and creation of an incredibly expensive death trap. In this episode, we talk about farms in Montana, Third-Eye Blind and how this movie was able to look so great on a very low budget. If you are a fan of Cube, you will love this episode.
If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
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John’s Horror Corner: Child’s Play (2019), the fun reboot of the 1988 classic evil doll franchise that we deserve!
MY CALL: This is so much better than we deserve in an era saturated with phoned-in remakes. I loved it. And if you’re worried about the new approach to Chucky’s psychopathy—stop worrying and just give it a chance. MOVIES LIKE Child’s Play: The other Chucky movies most worth watching are Child’s Play (1988), Child’s Play 2 (1990), and then I might skip all the way to Curse of Chucky (2013) and Cult of Chucky (2017)—not that I didn’t enjoy them all to some degree. Other quality evil doll films include The Boy (2016), Annabelle: Creation (2017), Dolly Dearest (1991), Dolls (1987) and Puppet Master (1989).
Director Lars Klevberg (Polaroid) steps up to helm the 8th Child’s Play feature film to reboot the 7-film run that stemmed from Tom Holland’s (Fright Night, Tales from the Crypt, Thinner, The Temp) magnificent original. Now 30 years later, our Good Guy doll has advanced along with our technology and, for the sake of edgier content, we’ve also made Andy a bit older.
Young Andy from 1988
Karen (Aubrey Plaza; Life After Beth, Legion) gives her 13-year-old son (Gabriel Bateman; Annabelle, Lights Out) a Buddi doll for his birthday, only to discover this doll has a few… manufacturer defects.
The Buddi doll is like a SmartHub meets Siri crossed by BlueTooth and basic artificial intelligence to make daily life easier for all members of the family. And to make Buddi more contemporized, we’ve removed the voodoo possession of the 80s serial killer and made him the product of a disgruntled employee in an abusive Vietnamese factory workplace who removes all safety protocols from the doll’s programming. Yup, we’ve removed Asimov’s laws of robotics (i.e., really laws of AI ethics) to not harm humans and the like. Dear lord… it’s like SkyNet just went live in your own home in the form of a smiling doll with an eerily friendly disposition. And what voice actor could better stand up to the legendary Brad Dourif (The Hazing, Dune, Curse of Chucky, Cult of Chucky) but Mark Hamill (The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance)? Watching Chucky learn was kind of cute—in that troped-up naïve-to-the-world way.
Also a big jump from the other movies is that this Chucky doll walks around as part of its normal product function. So being seen moving on its own isn’t a red flag for a killer doll anymore. It brings about a more feisty than malevolent tone at first. Another big change is that this Chucky’s murderous behavior originally stems from good intentions. Sure he strangles a cat… but he thought he was protecting Andy. Chucky is kind of sweet, so we feel badly when he violently errs. But when Chucky sees Andy and friends laughing at the murderous gore of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) on TV… that’s when we know Chucky is taking a dark turn. Chucky goes from sympathetic to way creepy on a frighteningly credible trajectory.
The plot-point writing is a bit clunky (e.g., it took me half the movie to figure out if Plaza’s boyfriend lived with them or not), but the execution still lands entertainingly well, especially when delivered with Aubrey Plaza’s lines or her great interactions with Gabriel Bateman. Their mother-son dynamic feels sincere, congenial, and credibly contemporary. And their neighbor’s friendly son, Detective Norris (Brian Tyree Henry; Hotel Artemis, Godzilla vs Kong), brings poorly-dialogued yet still pleasant levity.
And blood…? Yup, there’s a lot of that. The double through-the-skin leg break scene was gleefully shocking with some mean imagery, a soil tiller rips up a guy’s head, a fleshy face is removed from its skull for decorative effect, there’s a sloppy buzzsaw to the crotch (we see it coming, but it’s really fun), blood gushes into people’s faces and, of course, lots of stabbing. The violence is messy, the death scenes will please gore-hounds, and a lot of humor is delivered with the violence and horror.
In tone, this film finds a middle ground in the franchise. It’s not as zany as Bride of- or Seed of- or Cult of Chucky (2017), it’s definitely not as mean-spirited as its predecessors either, but there is less “restraint” or mystique than in Child’s Play (1988) or Curse of Chucky (2013). The key word for this movie is “fun.” We laugh and smile and giggle frequently. I’d call it the Final Destination 5 (2011) of the Chucky brand.
The direction was really impressive and cultivated high-level thrill-ride shock value to the attacks, scares and violence. This movie is way more impressive than I expected and maybe even more than it deserved to be. I feared that an AI Chucky doll (as opposed to possessed by a psychopath) would be a dull modernization playing on color-by-numbers tropes. However, I don’t think I disliked anything about this. Rather… I kind of loved this! Please make a sequel.
REMAKE/REIMAGINING SIDEBAR: For more horror remakes, I strongly favor the following: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978), An American Werewolf in London (1981), The Thing (1982), The Fly (1986), The Mummy (1999), The Ring (2002), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), The Hills Have Eyes (2006), Friday the 13th (2009), Let Me In (2010), Evil Dead (2013), Carrie (2013), The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014), It (2017) and Suspiria (2018). Those to avoid include The Thing (2011; a prequel/remake), Poltergeist (2015), Cabin Fever (2016), A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), Night of the Demons (2009), Body Snatchers (1993; the second remake), The Invasion (2007; the third remake), War of the Worlds (2005) and The Mummy (2017). I’m on the fence about An American Werewolf in Paris (1997), Halloween (2007), It’s Alive (2009), My Bloody Valentine (2009), Fright Night (2011), Maniac (2012) and Pet Sematary (2019), which range from bad to so-so (as remakes in my opinion) but still are entertaining movies on their own.
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John’s Horror Corner: Maniac (2012), a brutal remake of a slasher classic, and starring Elijah Wood.
MY CALL: Clearly this was an ambitious and stylized approach to this remake. And whereas it impressed me in many ways it lacks the lasting impact of the 1980 original. Still a solid film and a great watch for fans of brutal cinema. MORE MOVIES LIKE Maniac: The original Maniac (1980) and, for its stylish nature, The Neon Demon (2016).
Our killer Frank (Elijah Wood; The Good Son, The Faculty, Cooties) lives in a mannequin shop (sort of) and connects with photographer Anna (Nora Arnezeder; Zoo, Origin, Berserk, Safe House), to whom he takes an instant interest.
As someone who loved the 1980 original so much, I have procrastinated watching this remake for nearly a decade. But despite my hesitation, I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt because of Elijah Wood’s passionate involvement. So now, finally succumbing, director Franck Khalfoun’s (Amityville: The Awakening, Prey, P2) remake brings some welcome upgrades. Most notably was the opening sequence, which culminated in the iconic scalping of the first victim. And while it felt a bit romanticized in execution, it was slick and gruesome and everything I didn’t realize that I wanted.
This remake feels veeeeery stylized, much more sexualized and almost psychedelic at times. With a flavor and approach that are certainly different, I wouldn’t dare call it better than the original in execution. But nice that it doesn’t simply try to rehash or recreate it, one iconic scene after the next. Some aspects work well, others just okay. For example, the imagery and accompanying sound effects of the scalpings are truly visceral. But I find Frank’s POV-shots to often feel out of place…. well, some of the time. On a date fooling around with his online site match it feels disruptive to the pace (for me), but when he’s applying his sloppy scalp trophies to his mannequins while talking to them it feels perfectly disconcertingly appropriate. And the nudity in this remake felt far more outright gratuitous rather than contributing to vulnerability (as it often did well in the original). There was certainly nothing “vulnerable” about the raunchy flashbacks of Frank’s mother (America Olivo; Bitch Slap, Neighbor, Friday the 13th).
Great efforts were made to keep this remake shocking. And shocking us was its greatest strength. The Achilles tendon slice was mean and abrupt! I yelled at my TV when it happened. One of the scalpings brutally tears the scalp from a still living victim—vicious! However, I feel that when it came to Frank’s deeper connection with Anna and our psychological understanding of our killer, 1980 simply did it better… way better. In 1980 Anna was a very strong character, and Frank was palpably tortured in the confines of his own head atop a body littered in burns and scars connecting the dots of his past abuse. 2012 missed those marks, but definitely brought its A-game for Frank’s comeuppance in the brutal, skin-peeling finale.
The real highlight here is the heart Elijah Wood poured into this beloved cinematic killer. His facial expressions seize mental disturbance and do honor to Joe Spinell’s (Starcrash, The Last Horror Film, Maniac) on-screen mania. And yes, this film is brutal and mean and shocking—and I enjoy that. I enjoyed the movie. But my overall reaction and satisfaction were greater with the original.
REMAKE/REIMAGINING SIDEBAR: For more horror remakes, I strongly favor the following: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978), An American Werewolf in London (1981), The Thing (1982), The Fly (1986), The Mummy (1999), The Ring (2002), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), The Hills Have Eyes (2006), Friday the 13th (2009), Let Me In (2010), Evil Dead (2013), Carrie (2013), The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014), It (2017) and Suspiria (2018). Those to avoid include The Thing (2011; a prequel/remake), Poltergeist (2015), Cabin Fever (2016), A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), Night of the Demons (2009), Body Snatchers (1993; the second remake), The Invasion (2007; the third remake), War of the Worlds (2005) and The Mummy (2017). I’m on the fence about An American Werewolf in Paris (1997), Halloween (2007), It’s Alive (2009), My Bloody Valentine (2009), Fright Night (2011) and Pet Sematary (2019), which range from bad to so-so (as remakes in my opinion) but still are entertaining movies on their own.
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Bad Movie Tuesday: Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990), squandering the strong final girl and slapstick bonkers violent legacy of part 2 (1986).
MY CALL: This sequel was so… incredibly… not good at all. I mean, what did you like about either of the first two Texas Chainsaw movies? Doesn’t matter. Nothing you liked will be found here. MORE MOVIES MUCH BETTER THAN Texas Chainsaw Massacre III: Well obviously you should have already seen The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and the ultra-zany sequel The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986). From there I’d suggest seeing The Funhouse (1981), Motel Hell (1980) and House of 1000 Corpses (2003) before moving on to the much better The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006) and perhaps Texas Chainsaw 3-D (2013).
FRANCHISE SIDEBAR: In 1974, a group of twentysomethings basically got really unlikely and stumbled across the wrong house of homicidal cannibals. After a narrated introduction linking our story to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and explaining the aftermath of final girl Sally (now deceased), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) waded into waters far more gory and campy than anything in 1974 (which was hopelessly desperate and dire). But apparently nothing from part 2 matters in part III… except for the presence of grandpa Sawyer, perhaps.
Driving from California to Florida, young couple Michelle (Kate Hodge; She-Wolf of London, The Hidden II, Silk Stalkings) and Ryan (William Butler; Ghoulies II, Friday the 13th part VII, Watchers III) find themselves in Podunk, Texas. Naturally, the gas station attendant is a perverted lunatic and a local hitchhiker (Viggo Mortensen; The Prophecy) distracts the murderous local as the couple escape down some backroads that don’t appear on their maps.
While being hunted down by local crazies Leatherface and Tinker (Joe Unger; A Nightmare on Elm Street, Pumpkinhead II) and Alfredo (Tom Everett; Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter), a well-armed passerby motorist Benny (Ken Foree; Dawn of the Dead, Death Spa) comes to their aid to battle this sick family of cannibals.
Following up Tobe Hooper’s (Lifeforce, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1-2, Poltergeist, The Funhouse) first two films, director Jeff Burr (Puppet Master 4-5, Pumpkinhead II, Puppet Master: Blitzkrieg Massacre) seems simply to have made a nasty slasher flick—nothing more. And it’s a movie quickly forgotten for its complete lack of merits.
Even by its opening on-screen narration, this seems more to be a sequel to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) than to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986). And in the opening credits Leatherface, now played by a third actor (R.A. Mihailoff; Hatchet II, Smothered, Pumpkinhead II) in as many movies, feels more like a big goon with some sick murderous habits rather than the monstrous man-child we came to know in the previous two films.
LEATHERFACE: In The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986), Leatherface (Bill Johnson) has a slapstick yet macabre vibe about him as he chainsaws a moving vehicle while wearing an entire dead shambling corpse as a disguise. He’s extremely sexually repressed and highly foolish. This graduated him from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), in which is he more simply a hulking brute of a man-child taking orders from all others in his family. Now in part III, he has yet a third and completely different personality. What gives? At least I could see 1974 Leatherface growing into 1986’s.
This sequel seems to have defanged Leatherface of his off-kilter mystique and preternatural menace. He’s just a kinda’ big mean dude with a chainsaw who likes killing people now. I realize that Ken Foree is a big dude, but he makes Leatherface seems like a random but formidable punk in a bar brawl instead of some flesh-eating monster. Never has this iconic psychopath felt so neutered before in my eyes than in this anemic sequel. Worse yet, the violence is mostly off-screen, so we’ve traded some lame splattered blood for chainsaw gore of yore.
And what the heck was going on with the floating/motorboating chainsaw in the swamp water? And did Leatherface just get haphazardly killed by a swamp rock? Really, movie? Really?
Terrible dialogue, the violence doesn’t strike any chords, little is shocking (which is nearly unforgivable after the previous two films), lame final girl who’s trying and failing to capture the crazy of Caroline Williams (Leprechaun 3, Halloween II, Hatchet III, Contracted), very few and basic sets… it’s really kind of… boring. This feels like a weak attempt at continuing the The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) lunacy. An attempt, but not very convincing so—not even close. We have a grandpa Sawyer cadaver at the dinner table, a murderous extended family ready to butcher unlucky motorists, and Leatherface swinging his chainsaw around like a sword. But none of that produced any redeeming or memorable scenes. Really, movie—what happened?
There is yet another sequel… In the end, Benny and Michelle live, and in the last scene we see so did Leatherface. Watch out for Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994).
This sequel was so… incredibly… not good at all. I mean, what did you like about either of the first two Texas Chainsaw movies? Doesn’t matter. Nothing you liked will be found here. I think this movie is garbage, it should even be skipped by fans of the franchise, and I now see how I didn’t remember anything at all from the first time I saw this in the 90s.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast #218: Anaconda and Jon Voight’s Insane Paraguayan Accent
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The MFF podcast is back, and this week we’re talking about the incredible 1997 creature feature Anaconda. We love this movie, and think Jon Voight was robbed of an Academy Award nomination. Why? Between the insane accent, constant scowl and physical menace, it might be the most “I’m going to do whatever I want’ performance of recent memory. In this episode, you will hear us talk about salad, terrible sound guys and very strong snakes. You will love it!
If you are a fan of the podcast make sure to send in some random listener questions so we can do our best to not answer them correctly. We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the pod!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Tune In, Podbean,or Spreaker.
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MFF Horror Special: Our 10 Favorite Horror Films Since 2010
When MFF contributor (and award winning director) Zachary Beckler and I put together lists of our favorite horror films of 2010s, then combined them to form a super list – we didn’t know what the results would be (listen to the podcast episode), because our tastes are so different. The end result is a fun mixture of mainstream, non-mainstream and incredibly non-mainstream horror. We definitely stretched the limits of the genre, and I think the list is better for it.
Before I get into our 10 favorite movies, here is 20-11. mother!, Berberian Sound Studio, The Guest, The Witch, Revenge, Insidious, The Cabin in the Woods, Ghost Stories, The Wailing and I Saw the Devil.
10. The Blackcoat’s Daughter
The reason The Blackcoat’s Daughter is on this list is because of a single line (and very good filmmaking). There is a moment when young Kat (Kiernan Shipka) just had a very mellow exorcism performed upon her, and she sees the evil demon/spirit/devil leaving her body. Instead of being happy about the evil leaving her she says, “Don’t go,” to the evil as it floats away. This is somebody who is alienated at her boarding school and is so lonely she doesn’t want something that paid her attention to leave. The “Don’t go” line and the final shot do something really cool because the two tiny moments make us feel for a murderer who decapitates her victims and offers them up to a demon in the school furnace. Director Oz Perkins does a beautiful dread establishing dread via a patient approach that depends on a melancholic tone, and all-in performances from the actors. You should watch The Blackcoat’s Daughter.
9. The Neon Demon
Do you like Nicolas Winding Refn films that aren’t Drive? If you answered “yes,” then you will really appreciate The Neon Demon. It is empty, dirty, violent, and beautiful to look at. It is gloriously original, and features insane moments (AKA eye eating) that will make you squirm. If you are a fan of beautiful looking insanity, you will love this movie.
8. Hereditary
This is from John Leavengood’s (MFF’s John’s Horror Corner) review (read it!)
From Emotionally challenging and strikingly acted, Hereditary is really different in all the ways I like. Despite its lengthy over-two-hour running time, it wastes no time leading the audience into unease with revelations of the deceased matriarch’s secrets, their family history of serious mental illness, messages from beyond, and glimmers of hallucinations (or even spirits?). We find visions of the deceased, birds kamikazeing into windows, and grave desecration. There is disturbing imagery in the form of severed heads swarming with ants, mismatched reflections, being burned alive and a troubling séance. But that’s nothing compared to the traumatizingly surreal—or maybe way too real—suffering the family endures in response to each other’s hysterical manifestations.
7. Bone Tomahawk
Bone Tomahawk is a beautifully written horror western that plays with multiple genres while creating memorable characters. It takes its time getting to the violence and I applaud that decision. I understand why it has stayed on the fringes of the mainstream because it can’t be categorized and features lots of patience and extreme body mutilation. Director/writer S. Craig Zahler pulled off a $2,00,000 dollar miracle and worked wonders with a brief 21 day shooting schedule. It is rare when a tiny horror western can gather such a great cast and gets nominated for multiple Independent Spirit Awards.
I love the pairing of Kurt Russell, Patrick Wilson, Matthew Fox and the fantastic Richard Jenkins. The four men bring something different to the table and they get to each build their own character while spouting great dialogue. This hurts my soul to say but Kurt Russell is overshadowed by his costars. Normally, Russell is the best part of any film but Richard Jenkins (Cabin in the Woods) steals the show. Jenkins deputy character is a good man who has seen war and lost his beloved wife. At first glance he comes across as the town jester but as the film moves along he becomes an immensely likable and original character. Jenkins gets the best dialogue and I loved this line in particular.
6. It Follows
I love It Follows and have spent a lot of time writing about it since it’s release in 2015. Director David Robert Mitchell takes my favorite aspects of horror (urgency, dread, patience) and combines them with a beautifully simple story about the dangers of sex. Mitchell lets the film breath, and this allows the story to unfold organically – and at it’s own pace. The main character Jay (Maika Monroe) stays in a sleepless state after the monster starts following her, and it creates a dreamy atmosphere that is captured nicely by the lingering camera and patient editing. The film moves at a methodically slow pace, yet, you’ll have a hard time catching your breath afterwards.
5. Raw
Raw is what happens when a badass director who loves David Cronenberg makes a movie about cannibalism at a French veterinary school. This will sound overly obvious, but, director Julia Ducournau has created a very raw film that humanizes its characters and doesn’t glamorize anything. The violence, blood and disembowelment feel grounded in reality and feel organic and natural to the story (this is rare). Raw centers around a first year veterinary student named Justine (a very brave Garance Marillier) dealing with college hazing, sexual encounters and cannibalism. I never knew where Raw was going and that is a attributed to Ducournau who has made a movie that is honest, brutal and in no way soft.
4. Get Out
Get Out is what happens when a director takes his 1970’s horror influences, modernizes them, and is able to create his vision unencumbered. Director Jordan Peele crushed his debut film (and his second film Us), and you can feel his love of Rosemary’s Baby and The Stepford Wives all over it. The soul-crushing paranoia, A-list talent and awesome ending combine to create a film that totally earned its 99% Tomatometer average and Academy Awards. It’s the rare crowd-pleasing movie that has something to say, and you will make you will laugh, cheer and hold your breath until the final moments.
3. Under the Skin
Under the Skin is a mesmerizing film that captures Scotland’s dreary beauty while blasting us with a sensory overload with cool visuals. I love that there is zero backstory, or expository hand holding. It is a remarkably simple movie that still leaves many questions unanswered. It is a pure and unadulterated experience that could be vivisected or simply appreciated. My advice is to turn off the lights, turn up the volume and allow yourself to fully appreciate a spellbinding experience.
Under the Skin tells the story of Scarlett Johansson’s unnamed character driving around Scotland on the prowl for men/victims. She takes them back to uninhabited homes where they are doomed via black goop quicksand. The scenes are slightly improvised and all lead to hyper stylized endings. As her journey progresses she seems to become more self-aware and curious. This doesn’t bode well for her because she is out of the protection of her motorcycle riding assistant/boss/owner.
The journey her character takes is a wonder of cinematic prowess and natural beauty.
2. Climax
Zachary Beckler wrote this review, make sure to check out his wonderful Letterboxd page.
Bodies in community destroyed by minds in disunity. The harmony established in the astonishing opening dance number devolves piece by piece as individuals segregate themselves from the group (in two-shot discussions, or singular framing that follows characters moving in and out of hellscapes). After a signature Noe credit sequence 45 min in, the rest of the film is essentially an after-credits scene that may be the worst trip ever committed to film, constructed as an hour-long unbroken shot. The horrors on display may not be the most graphic in his filmography, but they are the most potent, even on repeat viewings.
Climax establishes and shows the disintegration of a culture in seemingly real time. No one on screen is sharing the same perception of reality, lost in the abyss of their own personal hell. The revelatory final shot brings into focus Noe’s intent, as a fade to white illuminates the audience. There is salve, but no salvation.
Our Favorite – #1 – Green Room
We were very happy that Green Room ended up as #1 on our list because it legitimately deserves to be at the top spot. It proves that director Jeremy Saulnier (Blue Ruin, Hold the Dark) is an amazing director who knows how to deliver the goods (AKA insane amounts of tension). I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, and I love how Saulnier makes violence look so ugly and realistic. Nothing is glorified, and you will find yourself incredibly nervous for the trapped punk band, The Ain’t Rights, who put up a pretty decent fight against some real neo-nazis who aren’t afraid of committing ultra-violence. Also, Patrick Stewart is awesome as the Neo-Nazi leader who is simultaneously charismatic, calculating and insane. Please watch Green Room.
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MFF Dumb Data: How Long Did it Take to Set Up The Joker’s Cash Pyramid in The Dark Knight?
There is a famous scene in The Dark Knight that features The Joker (Heath Ledger) burning an insane amount of money. Based on the character, and his motivations, it’s totally understandable why he’d burn billions of dollars (to watch it burn….). However, to show the world that he doesn’t care about money, he made his henchmen set up a 13-foot tall tiered pyramid of cash.
It’s a cool scene, in a great movie, that has confused me for well over a decade. How long did it take to setup the tiered pyramid of cash? A tiered pyramid of cash can’t be put together on a whim. The Joker (or his accountant) needed to know EXACTLY how much money they had, then, they needed to diagram the pyramid with 10 tiers, to make sure it worked. The Joker may be about “chaos,” but he also loves intricate plans that somehow work.
I’m not the first person to take a guess at the amount of money (here, here and here) that made up the pyramid. I know it’s a fool’s errand to figure out something that has no answer (that’s why I did it). Instead of focusing on the money, I wanted to focus more on how long it took to set it all up. I did my own math to make sure the answer was different from all the rest. Then, with my new total, I took a guess at how long it took to build. The answer is wrong… because no one will ever know the right answer. However, I’m happy with the total I came up with….even if it’s wrong.
In honor of this scene, I watched the clip way too many times and made sure to do way too much research/math to make sure the wrong answer was correct.
Here is what I know:
- $100 dollar bills were used, and bundled in groups of 100. $10,000 total per strap.
- The dimensions of $100 dollar bills are 2.61 inches wide and 6.14 inches long
- The height of 100 – $100 dollar bills is .43 inches
- There are 10 tiers to the cash pyramid
- The money isn’t tied together. Each strap is separate
- It isn’t a perfect pyramid, but, I’m assuming it is to make the math
Here is what I’m guessing
- The bottom tier of the cash pyramid is 13-feet high, and 20-feet long. (seems right to me)
- It’s all cash. There isn’t a structure underneath the cash.
- The pyramid is made up of $4,680,000,000 (46,800,000 – $100 bills). Which means the Joker’s henchman used 468,000 stacks of cash (4,680,000,000 / 10,000 = 468,000)
- The length of each square tier goes like this (each is 30 cash stacks high) – 20, 18, 16, 14, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, and 7 feet
- There are 107,640 stacks of cash on the bottom tier ($1,076,400,000). The bottom tier is 39 stacks of cash long and 92 wide (based on dimensions of $100 dollar bill). I did the same math for each smaller tier.
- Based on the look of the pyramid, it would be impossible for the henchman to set up the pyramid by walking all over the structure, because cash would be falling everywhere. They must’ve used boom lifts or other large machinery.
- The pyramid couldn’t have been improvised. It’s too organized. The Joker must’ve given them a blueprint. Also, they must’ve known how much cash they had.
- 16 henchmen worked on the cash pyramid. Here is the breakdown. four henchmen in boom lifts on all four sides of the structure. four henchmen in scissor lifts taking the money to them. four henchmen restocking the scissor lifts with cash. Finally, four henchmen keeping the equipment charged and filling in whenever someone needs a break, because they are working around the clock.
How long did it take?
The first (and biggest) tier would be the easiest to build because all 16 henchmen are laying down the cash. If each of the 16 henchmen were able to lay down 60 straps of cash per minute, the bottom tier would only take around 2 hours.
Things start slowing down after the first tier because the henchmen can’t walk on the structure. This is where the boom lifts come into play. Four henchmen would start laying down all the money, while the crew in the scissor lifts stay close to help them restock their cash quickly. If the four henchmen on the boom lifts are able to keep the 60 stack per minute pace, the rest of the pyramid would take 25 hours to build. In the end, the total time spent on the pyramid would be 27 hours.
This sounds plausible because they had to use 468,000 stacks of cash to make a 10-tier pyramid. Also, you know that The Joker would be pissed if the thing looked like crap when he inspected it. The crew who set it up, knew it had to be perfect, so they built each tier carefully and expertly. They must’ve been keeping extra lifts charged, to make sure their build was as optimal as possible. Eventually, The Joker runs all over the thing, and makes it look messy. However, I think it was pristine when he first saw it.
Conclusion: It took 16 henchmen 27 hours to complete the cash pile that was eventually burnt. Impressive!
Quick note: Why did I go with boom and scissor lifts? I don’t see scaffolding or an underneath structure coming into play. The lifts were the most efficient way to build a giant cash pyramid. I’m probably wrong.
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The Best Horror Workouts, Part 2: The Editor (2014), A Nightmare on Elm Street, Part 4: The Dream Master (1988) and AHS: 1984 (2019)
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Working out in the 80s… in horror movies?
You guys know this is gonna’ be a bit dirty!
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Ready to sweat out the sins of watching too many horror movies? Well throw on your halfway shirts, short-shorts and tube socks and let’s get to it! We’ve got more raunchy aerobics for you!
Did you miss out on part 1? We hope you enjoyed these three gory sets of horrific muscle-building reps from the 80s (and 80s settings). But be sure to go check out The Best Horror Workouts Part 1 as we review the deadly gym shenanigans of Killer Workout, aka Aerobicide (1987), Death Spa (1989) and Happy Birthday to Me (1981).
The Editor (2014)
If you love Italian Giallo films and would love to see them mocked in an extremely awkward film, then you are in luck! Otherwise, The Editor (2014) will likely confound or alienate viewers who either don’t exactly know what they’re getting into, or who are sober. This film honors, copies and/or mocks various scenes from Black Christmas (1974), A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) and The Shining (1980) down to the cheesy twist endings and an entire era’s worth of 70s-80s exploitation cinema. And, staying in 80s theme, there’s a VERY raunchy 80s workout scene reminiscent of Killer Workout (1987; The Best Horror Workouts, Part 1). The cheese factor is high on this one…
This is one of the most TnA-rich raunchy throwbacks I’ve seen. Deliciously cheesy to the point of hilarity. Brace yourself for sweaty hard bodies, ass-choking leotards, and excessively inappropriate camera angles. We learn that the camera man understood his instructions loud and clear as we are bombarded by tandem close-ups of sweaty bouncing aerobic boobs, thong-wedgied butts and leg-spreading crotch shots. No joke–the aerobic routines are more than a little slutty and there’s an inordinate amount of this.
Barely tiptoeing past sexy (and never truly entering the raunchy zone) was The Dungeonmaster (1984).
But, just to remind you The Editor (2014) is horror, the raunchy sequence ends with a really funny and extremely gory scene involves ripping off a woman’s entire face as she continues to scream and then smushing it back on (tongue-in-cheek).
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A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)
During his first three movies, Freddy was behind the curve–basically no workout scenes. But part 4 is loaded with them! Rick blasts his loud music in his garage dojo training sessions complete with heavy bags, spin kicks and nunchucks.
When Rick finds himself in his fantasy dojo dreamscape, he spars with an invisible Freddy. Rick is no Frank Dux (JCVD, Bloodsport) but he holds his own and disarms Freddy of his glove. The problem here is that Freddy cheats and telekinetically launches the glove into Rick’s gut like a shuriken. “Saaaaayonaraaaaa!”
For our second Freddy workout, we have Debbie. Debbie utterly hates roaches and stomps one out after finding it in her fries. That what she gets for eating fast food between gym sessions! She sees a cute guy and says “I wonder where he works out.” Total gym rat. Alice actually warns Debbie that “It will take more than bench presses to beat [Freddy].” So what does Deb go home and do? Like a true bro-tastic babe, it’s Bench Press time!!!
Unfortunately for Debbie, Freddy is NOT a trustworthy spotter.
He’s more the bro who gives you a bad spot and messes up your joints. “No pain, no gain.” Debbie tries to resist, but her elbows gruesomely tear open as he forces the barbell down upon her. I love the sound effect as her elbows tear open. Yuck!
This really demonstrates the importance of finding a good spotter you can trust… like Ken Foree (Death Spa). For more pectoral-swelling tips, check out the bench press death in Happy Birthday to Me (1981) in The Best Horror Workouts Part 1.
And for you serious weightlifters out there, don’t forget to count your macros and bust your butt to earn those cheat days…
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American Horror Story: 1984 (2019, season 9)
And just for good measure, let’s throw in the opening aerobics class scene from the latest season of AHS, complete with sultry glances exchanged between hip-thrusts…
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We hope you enjoyed these three gory sets of horrific muscle-building reps from the 80s. Stay tuned for The Best Horror Workouts, Part 3 and go check out The Best Horror Workouts, Part 1!
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